Dennis Rox

126. Redefining Gender Roles: Navigating Modern Relationships and Parenting

• Eldar, Mike, Toliy, Katherine, Harris, John, Alina, Vemir • Episode 126

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Can modern advancements and shifting societal norms truly redefine our understanding of gender roles and relationships? In this thought-provoking episode, we challenge long-held beliefs and explore the intricate dynamics of gender interdependence. From historical contexts to contemporary issues like artificial insemination, we question whether traditional gender roles are becoming obsolete or remain essential to our personal happiness.

Through candid conversations and personal anecdotes, we delve into the emotional differences between men and women and how they impact relationships. We discuss the undervaluation of women's contributions in parenting and the workforce, share humorous stories about men's attempts to empathize with childbirth pain, and examine the challenges faced by stay-at-home dads. This episode highlights the importance of mutual respect, communication, and understanding in fostering successful partnerships and effective parenting beyond romantic confines.

Lastly, we explore the influence of social media on perceptions of happiness and the complexity of balancing financial success with personal fulfillment. We also delve into the effects of pornography on relationships and individual behavior, and the contrasting paths to personal development, whether through romantic relationships or celibacy. Join us as we navigate these multifaceted topics and uncover the true essence of modern gender dynamics and relationships.

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Eldar:

on this week's episode nobody's above anybody here, right? I think the problems with a lot of relationships is, that is, that we keep doing this thing where it's like men are more important, women are more important.

Alina:

No, no wait let's talk about the hot tool girl.

Eldar:

So are you guys okay, let me ask you a question. There's a bunch of guys here.

Alina:

Let me ask you a question, yeah do you think that that is attractive for real?

Eldar:

what he said right there is the biggest culprit of today's society.

Alina:

Yes, absolutely. You hit it on the nose. I learned my lesson.

Eldar:

No, no, no, no, no, no. But this is a very big problem, a major problem. All right. So since we have a couple of ladies here today, we're going to have a topic, a woman's topic, or you know, uh-oh, and it started yesterday. We were, you know, hanging out it was July 4th Drinking a couple of beers, all right, not doing that weird stuff that. You know what I'm talking about. Harris, fuck you All right.

Eldar:

Cool, but yeah, topic came up right, it's an interesting one and I think uh, one of the friends that mentioned the topic right, what do you uh say, alina, specifically what he?

Alina:

he said that women can't live without men. We need men, oh shit.

Katherine:

And I said yeah, you know, we don't I want to interrupt, though, because I don't know how we got there, how this started was. He saw an interaction between you and I, and then he was like remember I told you to get the the light, that small one okay you went inside and then he's like you guys make it look so easy. He's like you guys have like a good vibe. Like the you guys make it look so easy. He's like you guys have like a good vibe.

Toliy:

Like the way you guys communicate.

Eldar:

It's so chill, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Katherine:

You know, he basically like you know, this is like you guys are like goals.

Alina:

Something like that. Well, he is moving with his girlfriend no-transcript.

Katherine:

And then he was like obviously I could see that he wanted to say more. So, I gave him that space and then he was kind of like, yeah, sometimes women are just like.

Alina:

Overly emotional.

Katherine:

And then he said overly emotional and I agreed with it. I said yeah, absolutely really emotional, uh, you know. And then he said overly emotional.

Alina:

I agreed with it.

Katherine:

I said yeah, absolutely we can't, we are, we have to be overly emotional.

Alina:

You know, I said sure, just in science in general, like if you take out logic and everything medically and scientifically, women are prone to be more emotional. We bleed once a month. No, we're way different like, if you guys are bleeding once a month, you guys wouldn't even be able to walk outside and breathe air like you. Literally would be like I'm fucking dying. You know what I'm saying, but we're out here busting moves, so we're emotional like it's true daunting listen.

Eldar:

I become the biggest baby when I'm sick oh, my god the biggest baby and definitely I get emotional 100. So I can only imagine like you guys say, like you guys have once a month, right for a week, through it the entire month, yeah, preparing for the show.

Katherine:

Yeah, I've been going through it for six weeks now.

Alina:

Like it doesn't give you, like you rest and you're like all right, I'm back in business. And then, like the week later, they're like no fuck you, we're coming right back.

Eldar:

But what was his argument about the whole emotional thing?

Katherine:

So he starts kind of like I don't know, like maybe he's like a little bit, and then he kind of just ends up saying then we went from there to then. Like suddenly he's like you know, alina, starts kind of like right away, like wait, wait, wait. What's the conversation about? So, she starts putting her two cents in, and then he ends up with like women need men Women need men.

Alina:

And.

Eldar:

I was like no, we don't.

Katherine:

And then she's like right away no, we don't.

Alina:

And then she's like right away, no, we don't. Well, maybe to procreate, but other than that, we don't need men. We don't, especially not in 2024. Okay, maybe in the 1900s to build a fucking house, yeah, and like fetch food, okay, and even then, like I don't even know if that was happening, to full capacity, yeah.

Eldar:

So this is a good point. I think this is this can be very controversial, right? I think to unpack this whole thing, we probably would have to define the word need right like. What does it mean? What is it that he actually meant by that right without him being here? We're trying to. We try to do our best right to play devil's advocate here.

Katherine:

What do you guys?

Eldar:

think? What do you think, alina, that he meant when he said all um uh women?

Alina:

well, I don't know his girlfriend, so I don't know if this woman, you know, I don't know the type of person she is. I don't know what he necessarily was alluding to, but it could be a plethora of things. It could be you need men because we have to pay the bills, yeah. Or you need men because, uh, I don't know what else heavy lifting, setting up, uh, fireworks that are not pink right, you know what i'm'm saying.

Alina:

Maybe that would be something you know. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I don't know. I just think that at this point in time, in this day and age, it just really sucks to have to hear someone say, oh, women need men, when my mom didn't need a man.

Eldar:

Do you think it's almost like an outburst of, like what he's missing in his relationship? Yeah, you think so.

Alina:

Absolutely.

Eldar:

So what is that? What is he missing, then? Like for him to come to this conclusion, to say that thing out loud, the way he did right, Almost emotionally right.

Katherine:

Right, he's probably tired Remember he was moving in with her that day, like the whole day was like, so now he's probably you know, thinking he's at, he's out, socially intertwined with, with, with people, and he's probably magnifying the situation.

Alina:

He's probably like, oh my God. So now I'm going to have to, like, always work, I'm going to have to buy this bitch clothes, this and the third.

Alina:

I'm gonna have to figure it out, like you know, and this is, guys are simple in the way that they think they're like yo, I just want to chill, Like I want to watch sports and I don't want to hear this bitch rambling about like how her fucking day sucked Because she's on the fucking rag. Like I don't want to fucking cook for my man. Sometimes like I'm tired. I work with a whole bunch of people in a financial industry only men. I'm the only girl in the office. So to come home and have to cook this man a meal, sometimes I'm like this is a daunting task. Yeah, like let's get a chef because I'm tired. You know what I'm saying. So I don't know. If she works, maybe she cooks bad and he's tired of her.

Eldar:

Like you know what I'm saying, there could be so many different things she might be on the whole kick of like I'm an independent woman, right. She might have that attitude where it's like nah, bro, like I don't really need you like that right.

Katherine:

I think extremes will always breed other extremes, like if she's, if that's her, take on like the relationship. Yeah, then he's also gonna. How do I yeah? But, I also think that, like that, like.

Toliy:

Like people say that like, ok, women need men or men need women, right, and I think they're just generalizing like by, by, like gender. But I think it's just particular people need other particular people.

Eldar:

See, and that's where we're going to go, and I think you've given a shortcut to a good answer. But I think that there's a reason why this is happening in the first place, and I think the way they use at least the word need is more like task-oriented, like men can do these tasks and women can do these tasks. You know what I mean.

Toliy:

It's like certain things may be interchangeable, certain not. I think they're taking that mentality, like that one, and then they're also going back to like the 1900s, where like women couldn't vote, or like work or make money Right.

Alina:

The lines get blurred as far as what are the parameters of need? Because, like, I can sit here and say I haven't been with my boyfriend for two or three days, right, we haven't been together. I absolutely miss him. I need to see him. Like I can't wait to see him, like with everything in my body, when I see him I'm going to be so excited. But also, I don't need my boyfriend. Like I don't need him to pay my fucking bills, I don't need him to cook me any meals, I don't need him to pick up shit or build anything, because I can do it all by myself.

Eldar:

So what's the problem with the word need that you were having?

Alina:

Because it was in the need. Men, yeah, we need you in terms of procreation because you know we can't just pop up and have a baby.

Alina:

We're not asexual, you know, like the baby's not but if you were, then you definitely like kick men to the curb right, but now this is just like the bees actually do the bees do that in the hive in the in the beehive, but I have to be honest with you women already, because of science and medical breakthroughs, women already are opting for these options to have children and not have the men be a part of the situation at all. So understand this is a mechanism for women as survival of the fittest, because men have fallen so short in society. Now that we've already, we're just like oh yeah, well, you guys are not good for shit like you guys are.

Eldar:

We can't even light a fucking firework with a boom, with a bang. You know what I'm?

John:

saying oh, come on, Fuck you man In the most literal sense.

Toliy:

Men need women and women need men. That's a fact. I agree with that.

Katherine:

I agree. Well, no, no, no, but there's a specific.

Eldar:

I think there's a specific campaign that's going on right now that there's men versus women.

Toliy:

There is a thing that's going on, no, but that's like a, like a retarded chem thing I agree, I agree with that because if yeah, it's dealing with the extremes, yeah, yeah no, no, no.

Eldar:

I think that I think that if we use the word need, it can be very actually healthy for our egos right and what I'm saying is that is that I think that when we say we don't need you, we don't need that, right? Um, it's almost like I'm proud or I have this pride that I can do shit by myself. I don't need anybody, you know. But as soon as you you use the word hey, I need my friends, I need my family, I need my it kind of lowers your ego and humbles you a little bit and brings a level of humility, I think vulnerability right vulnerability as well, exactly.

Eldar:

No, but the way that if if it's somebody saying that to somebody else, then I think it's usually more in like a derogatory sense Offensive, like an offensive 100%, but that's why I think that we should close this debate by actually defining what the fuck that actually we actually need.

Toliy:

Yeah, but I think it's also again. It's like people don't say like okay, I'm a simple person and I need a woman who's like X, y and Z, or maybe the other woman is a particular way and she needs a man, for example, like the person you're talking about, right, yeah or whatnot. Yeah.

Alina:

But also-.

Toliy:

They generalize it in just women or men, which is a very big pool. An educated, for example, good man may not need a particular type of women, or or or um, the other way around yeah, but I I think, though, healthy relationships or good relationships actually are right are established on very specific, defined needs.

Eldar:

Like I know that, like I need katherine for very specific things, and if she knows those things and she acts in accordance to what my needs are, I'm gonna be happy, and vice versa, right. Right, if I know the things that she needs from me and I act in accordance to those things, then we have a really healthy, good relationship now, do you think that are those things built on because of the genders that you guys are? Gender. I'm not sure if it's built on gender.

Katherine:

I think it's built on competency well, yes, knowing your partner and understanding how to balance each other she feels my gaps and my voids and I feel her voids and her

Toliy:

gaps you're talking about very particular things that don't have a gender like attached to it.

Eldar:

He explained it as a gender attached to it.

Alina:

Agenda, yeah, he explained it as a gender-specific need. Women need men. My mom is a lesbian. The only time she needed a man was to have a child and he fell so short both times. So my thing is did she need a man? No, not really For procreation purposes. Yes and that's where the lines get blurred A need that is a necessary need. There was no other way for her to have a child, bear a child. Only that way she didn't have the money to get artificial insemination or to pick a person that was going to be the donor.

Alina:

She had a child and then she moved on with her life and continued to forge forward with women. She chose to be with women. So again, that wasn't a gender specific need, because she went and started fucking with women. You know what I'm saying. So, like what he was saying yesterday, it just was kind of like, yeah, I would love not that I need, I would actually love to want to rely on a man, but at the same time, like it doesn't always work out that way so no, but you see that.

Eldar:

But you have this earning for yeah and love to actually have that right and that's I think. I think we can speak on that. That's like an intangible thing that's inside of you as a woman. Now, right, does that apply to every woman? Is the question right? Like you have that thing, like, hey, I would love to be able to rely on someone. Why? Because it feels good, it's nice. Is that? Is that gonna help you actualize yourself?

Alina:

no, I think that it's a society constraint. I think the society has put these. You know, I guess these ideologies or these things that you know are gender specific, men have to work and do these things. So, you know, you get older, you become an adult and you're fully engrossed in society. And now you're trying to, you know, keep up with the world. And so your friends are getting married and you know you're not, because men are falling short. So now you're like damn, I'm longing for this, I need this, but I don't think I'm ever gonna get it if I keep on searching, because it's just not happening in 2024. So I'm better off by myself, doing it by myself, expediting these tasks by myself, and just being by myself.

Toliy:

Like what do you mean by?

Alina:

men are falling short, oh shit because again, that's the firework, one of the examples or no? I mean just until, like I, I can. This would be something specific to me, you know what I mean. As a woman and what I've been going through.

Toliy:

Yeah, but I think trying to interrupt you, but what you're saying to me there is the same thing of what he was saying about women. Do you think so? I think so, yeah.

Alina:

Yeah, I don't think so. I think that there is a need, yes, but more than anything it's more like a want. I would want my husband to work and I would like to stay home and tend to the children.

Eldar:

Yeah, but you see that, you see that there's something about a nature of woman and removing the fact that you guys give birth. Obviously, men can't give birth. That's a natural thing, right, right. But I think there's certain intangibles, psychological intangibles, that a woman can feel and be right, like the nurturing mother, for example, or nurturing woman.

Alina:

Right, it's like the animals. Animals have the same situation.

Eldar:

The lions.

Alina:

You know the women. They have certain tasks that they have to fulfill.

Eldar:

But you see, you have that internally. You feel that like in the perfect world. I'd like to have that because it's innate in you. Right, you know what I'm saying. That's a natural thing that women are, but I don't think that's a need.

Alina:

That's where I get Well.

Eldar:

I think no, no, I think that might be a need. Really I do think so, yeah.

Toliy:

I think it's like they may get to a certain point where they don't think it's like a reality or like a possibility, and then they convince themselves that it's no longer a need, but it would just be a nice to have.

Alina:

Okay. So I agree with that. They downgrade it. I agree with that. I agree with that because that's how I feel.

Toliy:

Yeah, like you may have lost some hope on that being a reality hope on that being a reality. So now, like it would be an ego blow for you to, for example, to continue living a life where you're saying it's a need but not having it right, versus you going the opposite way and saying that it would be a nice to have now versus a need okay, yes, in some fashion, I agree with that you know what?

Alina:

I'm saying that is that that is a valid point, but again I just feel like the way that he kind of no I mean it's a strong yeah I was like dude like it's a job the way he conveyed it I.

Katherine:

I have a feeling that he may have had like a rough day with her yesterday possibly I don't know and just kind of said that out of more like a frustration like. I just think that he wanted to vent in the moment, one moment I felt it when he gave he, he threw some flowers on us and then he kind of like I felt it and I saw it in his face. So I like pause now the g4 hit me hard.

Alina:

That's when he started saying you are bugging, nobody needs you. Okay, in that form, right right like, come on, you know what I'm saying. If you want to really break, it down and you want it to be an ego thing like I will crush your ego, like you know 100.

Eldar:

But that's the thing. But at the end of the day, if we dissect it as a need, as in like, okay, cool, let's understand, right, the dynamic of a human being first, right, let's just say that, and then we'll understand the dynamic of a human being in the gender role you being a woman, I'm being a man. Right, there's certain specific needs that we have. You, you know what I'm saying. And if part of actualizing a woman is her natural gravitation towards being a nurturing mom or a nurturing partner or whatever, then that's what all women should strive for.

Toliy:

If that's the case, right, right, well, yeah, I mean, I don't think that we can sit here and say, okay, there's a reason why there's two genders right, or like there's two different types of people being, like birth right and they're completely different and like. So I think we're bound to be able to.

Eldar:

But they fit really well together. Yes, how about that?

Toliy:

Yeah, but what I'm saying is that why don't they just make everybody's the same? You could just still, I guess, be with who you like, but everyone's built the same. So I think that there's a reason why they're built differently. I think it's because men and women do offer different things. But I think, in general, the whole mentality is like this was once a reality. Right, where, like, if you keep going back in time, like keep going all the way back, right, there is an absolute time where, for example, women absolutely relied on men because you lived in a time where you needed, like to go hunt, or to go kill, or to go like build where you needed to go hunt or to go kill or to go build, but also in that time frame.

Alina:

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but in that time frame women had no rights.

Toliy:

Well, that's what I'm saying. He's going back to the caveman alley.

Alina:

We naturally had to fall back.

Toliy:

That's what I'm saying.

Alina:

I'm going all the way back in time, but I'm saying that if we keep progressing further, it's obviously not that same type of world you don't need a man to go kill like like a cow for you to, for you to have a steak or something like that. You could just go to the store and buy it, but if we continue to progress now that you said that, if we continue to progress, progress at this course- yeah I mean eventually, like women are not going to need men at all no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Eldar:

The thing is see, see, I think that they want them as we progress, I still think that people are going to continue to use their heads and ask questions around happiness and what actually fulfills us. Yes, right one thing communication is key in a relationship yes, at the end of the day, yeah, sure, you don't need certain things and stuff like that, but, like I said, there's certain innate qualities of a woman that makes it a woman and if you're truly following those qualities and you are actualizing them, you become happier.

Alina:

And you find someone that is on par with the same things that you believe in your goals. Yeah, I talk shit sometimes and I'll be like, yeah, well, you know, like I don't fucking need men, or whatever the case may be, but I'm pretty sure that one day I will need a man.

Eldar:

You know what I mean. No, no, I think you need a man now. You know what I'm saying. Like yeah, like you still yearning for that same thing, you believe in love, like you into that kind of stuff. You know what I am absolutely no.

Toliy:

But I think that people that that like talk that kind of way, my, my, my example of like bringing it back for like old, old, all the way back in the day, I think they in a way still think and operate in that kind of way in which way? Hunters and gatherers like male chauvinistic pigs no, they operate still mentally in those kinds of old school ways now and they still think that way now. I agree with that.

Toliy:

We have plenty of examples that we know, for example, of people who are like no, I got to make the most money, you got to be over there. That's their purpose and their mentality. You know who I'm talking about.

John:

I know several guys who the roles are actually reversed.

Eldar:

I have two friends, well, you breastfed your nieces and nephews, so we're going to talk about that. Who are stay-at-home dads.

Alina:

Yeah, that's crazy.

John:

They love it. They're watching every moment with their kids, and the best moments of my life was actually helping raise my two nieces for three years, because I got to watch them grow. I got to watch them do all that shit.

Eldar:

One of the tasks that you did was I literally helped feed them, so I bottle fed them.

John:

When they were babies I cooked them dinner Chicken, chicken nuggets, whatever they wanted had memories with them?

Eldar:

I did not know that in. Nebraska. They're trying to turn men into women. I did not know that this is a surprise, but it's not surprising, you know what, when you have a kid. Meth is a serious thing. Hold on when you have a kid.

John:

Yes, go ahead when you have a kid. Yes, eldar, you should take one year of just staying home with that, I agree with that.

Vemir:

It would be the best memories of your goddamn life.

John:

I agree with that it would be your best memories of your goddamn life.

Mike:

Listen, we could definitely talk about raising kids.

John:

They might have not been my kids, but watching them just grow and do all these accomplishments.

Eldar:

Can you?

John:

also tell everyone-.

Eldar:

Probably one of the best times of my life that the family. When there was Father's Day, everybody called you instead of the actual father and they said happy Father's Day, okay.

John:

So her family. Okay, I helped raise it. I was the live-in uncle but live-in nanny. I woke up early in the morning.

Toliy:

I watched them.

John:

I grew it out. I watched them until late at night, until they went to bed. So, you were like a dad. I was the live-in nanny, uncle, whatever you wanted to call me Was your name.

Toliy:

Harriet John called me his bitch.

Alina:

Oh, wow. But you know Was her name? Harriet John called me his bitch Harriet.

John:

Oh, wow, okay, but you know, yes, her family did wish me a happy Father's Day.

Alina:

That is very sweet, because I was like that is a profound feeling they considered it that I was like a second dad.

Alina:

I would never call myself their dad. Here's my thing with that, here's my thing with that, and this is what I have to say. If my husband told me, hey, babe and this is just me, I'm, you know, I'm not speaking for other women but if my husband told me, hey, babe, listen, um, after you pop out this baby, you go straight away back to work and I'll take care of the kids, I would have been like fuck you. Yeah, okay, you want to know why? Because, first of all, no fucking way. Like I'm just I, just for me personally. Like if I'm grinding in the paint, you're gonna grind in the paint too. Bro, I'm not missing memories and you're at home fucking schlepping it with the kids and I'm over here tired as hell.

John:

My friends didn't want to do this at first. They were making less money than their wives, okay, and they were having a problem honey.

Katherine:

yeah, wives, both incomes are better than one honey.

John:

But they were having a problem.

Eldar:

Do you have those pictures of the booby vest?

John:

Oh, fuck you, Fuck you. They were having a problem because it was hard, their kids were acting up, getting kicked out of daycare, stuff like that. She was making $200,000 a year. He was making $50,000.

Alina:

She was making $200,000 a year and he was making $50,000. Okay, so you know what she was making a substantial amount of money. I think that if the children are having issues and you know there's a bigger picture there there's a bigger picture there.

Alina:

You know what I'm saying. Children are the most important factor. So if the father being home for the kids is going to help with their sanity and things like that, I'm all for that. You're just doing it because you want to be a bum ass, he said when he first did this, he was when she asked him.

John:

He felt like it was a punch in the gut she asked him. He felt like it was a punch in the gut, like he's a man. What is your family going to think?

Alina:

See, but this is a different shit.

John:

And he was like no, I have to work, we'll figure something else out. And she said, listen, it's not a big deal, you just watch the kids, you cook the dinner, you clean the house and at first he was he was miserable at first that's a big job, but then he started experiencing it and he absolutely loved it because he literally saw his kids grow. He helped straighten out his kids and it was a success in his own thing, he might not have been making money from it.

John:

He might have not been making money from it, but in his eyes he has been successful, because now he's straightened up his kids.

Alina:

Let me ask this question, because you guys are, you know you're men. Would that be a role that you would be comfortable taking on in the event that you are a father, and this is? Would you would you be like, all right, you know, stay at home with my kids while you work, you know? Because don't you think that in in this day and age, like there's bound to be some animosities?

Eldar:

well, that's, that's the problem. I don't think it should be. That's the thing I think that if you're in a loving relationship where love is on the forefront, you make decisions based on out of love and not based on out of like animosities.

Alina:

Necessity, yeah, monetary necessities.

Eldar:

I think that you have to make like a competent decision based on the competencies, that of a person Like if okay and you're a woman, go make that fucking money, because it's better for the family.

Alina:

Okay.

Eldar:

You know what I'm saying? The dad stays home, but if the dad makes more money, if that's better for the family, you do that Like who competencies, that's all. It is Nobody's above anybody here, right? I think the problems with a lot of relationships is that we keep doing this thing where it's like men are. No, we don't understand a society that both men and women put together create the best shit possible you know, what I'm saying.

Eldar:

That's why we fit so well together, right Up until we don't, and then we become crossdressers and shit. You know, what I'm saying, right, and we buy the fucking gay ass fireworks. I just want to put this out there.

John:

Okay, my this friend I was talking about. When his wife got pregnant again, he volunteered to feel what the pain was like with the machine. With the machine.

Eldar:

What the fuck Put it all the way to 10. This is Nebraska. I'm never going there. I wanted to visit Nebraska.

John:

I'm never going there. This is a friend in New Jersey. Dude, this is a friend in New Jersey, I'm done. He volunteered there is no machine that can replicate the pain that you feel when you give birth to a baby but what I'm saying is he couldn't take the number 5 and he was literally sitting there. He was crying, dude, he was fucking crying.

Eldar:

I did it twice why would a man want to do this?

Katherine:

what machine are we?

John:

talking about there's a medical simulator so it's like a shock. It shocks the fuck out of you, basically, and it goes all the way from 1 to 10.

Eldar:

I don't know there's certain doctors that have it.

Katherine:

There's certain doctors that have it what it feels like when women get cramps, the menstrual cramps.

Eldar:

We're not built for this shit you're biologically not wired to have any so like that's his wife's.

John:

I guess a baby doctor suggested it. He literally has a machine. He should be fired, his response his response was yeah, let's do it wow I want to.

Toliy:

I want to. That doctor does not have this. I have another hundred dollars at this whole story.

John:

No.

Eldar:

Where's John Crespo?

John:

I don't know, you can call him.

Eldar:

I'm serious bro.

John:

He said he was coming. John, if you're listening to this, you better get your fucking ass over here.

Katherine:

Alina had asked a question, only you answered it. How about you guys? You know, harris is okay, obviously.

Eldar:

You're okay with crawling on your fours.

Katherine:

No, we're being okay with like, raising the kids.

Eldar:

I did it for three years.

Katherine:

You had a great experience, tilly. How do you feel about that? Okay, yeah, so like if your wife was like don't worry about it.

Alina:

Change the shitty diapers, make meals. I want three course meals. I want breakfast, lunch and dinner, because women with they're fucking it out, man, they're fucking it out. Do you think that you could really do that?

Toliy:

wait, so have I had that kind of demand?

Alina:

you're saying well, let's say, if your wife's making 250k, you got to stay home and schlep it with the kids. Bro, are you in your changing shitty diapers? You're walking the dog I'm doing the kids to the park, you're cooking meals you're doing it while cleaning.

Eldar:

I'm not doing it like you are either person, yeah a day.

Toliy:

Yeah, I think that either person could do it, but I do think that there are different types of love that a man could provide, like a kid, in comparison to a woman, not that one is superior to the other, it's just different. In that kind of scenario, guess um would I be fine? Fine with it? Yeah, I think so, um, but yeah but you have.

Eldar:

You have people that think here. That's why we're answering the way we're answering right, yeah, this is not an eagle play for us right, right.

Alina:

No, but I mean if it works for you. But that's what I'm saying as a man. If it works for you, are you okay filling that position that the wife would have? Let her be the breadwinner, let her essentially take over the societal role of a male. So now she's an alpha, she's making the $250,000. You're not making no money. You got to ask her for the money. You know what I'm saying.

Eldar:

You're doing all the things that she would have to do no but you're providing like a scenario where it's like you're like the scenario someone's getting put down, yeah right, but again you know why. You know why you're doing that is because, again, that's the way she views it.

Katherine:

So she's putting that like well, society is gonna view you this way or that.

Eldar:

Well, no, no, she's, she's making a premise, just like maybe ty said right over there. She's like yo, making $250,000 is the priority here, bro.

Alina:

This is the best.

Eldar:

Thing. So, everything else is like whoa no, but the truth of the matter is the type of attention as a dad, but I'm asking as a man wouldn't you feel like you're like earlier?

Toliy:

Alina, you're creating the same scenario that he's talking about, just like on the reverse way, and trying to put it on me, like asking me if I would do that in that kind of scenario.

Eldar:

Probably not, because, like we're talking about a bad relationship One day with me and the child worth you know how much? A million dollars. Argue that. Wait, what do you mean? This is what I mean. Like if I'm staying home, right, it's like you making a million dollars a day.

Alina:

Okay.

Eldar:

That's how I feel. You know what I'm saying. So, like you, making a quarter of a million, that ain't shit. You know what I'm saying Because what we're doing investing into the future of our kid right To make sure we have a good life is superior and so much more important than anything else. You know what I'm saying. You're making bread just because you found out how to do it and you know how to grind the shit out there.

Alina:

It's not that important, it's not serious at all. To be honest with you.

Eldar:

You, there is some valid points, but also what I'm saying, I'm leaning more towards the fact that women raising kids is probably the most important job out there, and it it's fucking priceless. You cannot put a fucking tag on this shit.

Katherine:

You know what I'm saying, you're looking at it as such a low task, when it's actually not.

Eldar:

It's so important and you know this shit. You know this shit. You raised your kids right. What you poured into them is what now you're going to be seeing coming out, but I had to stop raising my kids. Well, you had circumstances I had to go to work. No, but the way that you're phrasing it, it's like you're boxing me into a bad scenario.

Alina:

It's a door lock, but that's what usually typically happens in these scenarios. I have a problem.

Mike:

I gotta get the door, but I have a problem with Alina's whole thing. Yeah, yeah, let me go get the door. Sorry, al, have a problem with alina's whole thing, yeah, yeah let me go get the door at you.

Alina:

Sorry, alina, I'm about to take you some pow, go ahead. No, no, I'm not talking shit. Listen, I'm. Oh, I'm open-minded.

Mike:

Get a beer for uh harris, he needs one I got one right here the way that, the way that you're spinning the narrative right like um, or the way you're selling the story, it's definitely making the guys look bad, right and like uh okay but but maybe you had bad experience in relationships and maybe you making it to me the way I'm here and he's making it sound like the guy is his fault, that you kind of like that the situation ended up how it was right you know where it wasn't his fault, necessarily, or their fault.

Alina:

What I'm saying is, I guess what I'm alluding to in this particular situation is that, though, if you do have these open lines of communication with your person and you know, you're able to talk to them about what it is that you want and they're okay with staying home with a child, so that way this particular person can make the money. I do think no matter what the innate desire as a man and as a woman, there are going to be some rifts. Innate desire as a man and as a woman there are going to be some rifts. Now, if you have this relationship that is amazing and it's healthy and you guys can really be like, okay, you go to fucking work and I'm going to take care of the kids and you guys are okay with that, then if it works, it works.

Mike:

But I think more often than not that is not the case because of the society that we're in no, but just like he was saying, putting it again, like they're putting it on society, it's taking away your own power to control your own reality.

Toliy:

But and that's the problem that I'm having- right, but it's difficult to create your own power it's hard for me to answer a question on something that, like, I don't want and something that will not like. Right, not not will not happen to me, but like, like it doesn't sound like a good scenario one way or another, right, right?

Toliy:

throw it the other way, to me back, right, like i'm't sound like a good scenario, one way or another right, right, throw it the other way, to me back, right, like I'm the breadwinner, and then I'm making these demands. Like yo, you got to make meals every day but that's what men do. No, no, but the thing is not men do that. No, some people do that, people do this. Yeah, when you say men, you're doing the same thing that he was generalizing.

Katherine:

Not only do some people do it, but some people allow it right. If that seems to be something that makes you feel lower about yourself or makes you feel unhappy, then you know, then something needs to be discussed.

John:

But if you're just sitting here, like, well, I work too, and then I have to do this and then something's not right, you know.

Toliy:

Then you're right, disagree with your like I'd rather never be in a relationship. If that's the case, yeah, like if you're gonna be, so that's what I was unwell with exactly what I said.

Alina:

No, but I can't answer that but also you're saying

Mike:

the same thing. I would rather not be in a relationship and I think a lot of the lena alina's thing right now is she's like yo, if you want to say need. I don't want to be ownership at all because I don't want to feel like I need or I owe somebody something, but that again that is a problem.

Mike:

That's again. It's all going to come back always to the lack of empowerment, saying that yo, I cannot actually create my own reality, that I cannot guarantee I can get into a good relationship where there is the girl, the woman is the woman, the man is the man, and we agree upon these roles and how it's supposed to look, but not based on our personal beliefs or society or based on what the actual truth is. We can't agree upon what the truth is outside of us. You know, say, like yo, a woman has a more nurturing nature, a guy's a little bit more, like you know, rough around the edges.

Mike:

Trying to jump over fire.

Alina:

Well, some guys are nurturing.

Mike:

Well yeah, certain kind of guys Fuck you dude Guys in Nebraska.

Eldar:

Fuck you, guys in Nebraska, fuck you.

John:

Willing to wear the tip vest. You know what? I'd do anything for my fucking niece if someone disrespected her. That's disgusting. I'd probably kill them. No, but I understand that.

Alina:

I understand that. I get that my kid's father, we're not together, but he's a great dad. You know what I'm saying. He fed the kids I had to go to work, he changed their pampers, he did what he had to do and he didn't work. It ended up working out between us. We're not together, but he's still a great dad. You know what I mean. That doesn't minimize his efforts as being a father. Did I pick up more of the slack?

Alina:

Hell harder than him made more money than him and still took care of kids, made meals, went to basketball games, volleyball games, tennis games. I did it all.

Mike:

But who created that situation, though he did no, no, no. Who created that situation that you guys were both in, both of us? That's what I'm saying so you kind of putting it on him, is saying like, hey, he kind of like it's like you make it sound like you put the veil over your eyes and you allow yourself to

Toliy:

be tricked. He tricked her man. Yes, yes, absolutely.

Alina:

I don't know the backstory.

Toliy:

I have a question for you guys oh shit it might be a little controversial, alright close your ears, harris, fuck you yeah if two people. If two people and and my assumption here could be wrong you were in a relationship with this person. My kid's father yeah my question is can you be a good father if the relationship with the mom doesn't work out absolutely?

Alina:

that's my point. He is a good dad we're not together.

Toliy:

I think about it more, but my bad off the bat opinion would be no.

Eldar:

That's a crazy question, yeah, and I have to think about that.

Alina:

Well, I'm here to tell you.

Eldar:

Why don't you go ahead and expand?

Mike:

on that, alina, let him expand on it.

John:

I agree upon what it means to be a good dad.

Eldar:

uh, which one my stepdad.

John:

He's not my real dad. Okay, right, he met. He met my mom when I was two years old, raised me since I was a baby. Him and my mom divorced when I was in second grade, but he was the best dad I could ever ask for and he was not my biological father well, I also have a crazy story.

Alina:

I had a boyfriend after I left my kid's father. We got serious. We were together for six and a half years. Katherine knows him and he is essentially their second dad. We're not together but he still helped my daughters in college. He still helps pay her tuition like he's. He comes around every now and then when my son needs him.

John:

I don't but he might have an agenda I held a lot of we don't. Well, I'm not gonna get into the, I'm not gonna don't, but he might have an agenda. I held a lot of we don't.

Alina:

Well, I'm not going to get into the.

Eldar:

I'm not going to get into it, but he might have an agenda, he might. He might or might not.

Alina:

He might or might not. I'm going to leave that up to you. You know what I'm saying. I had a lot of grudges To the stars. I had a lot of gr on him because he's dead.

John:

He doesn't have a grave dude.

Eldar:

Oh no.

Toliy:

You don't want to piss on his grave. Why can't?

John:

you If I was going to piss on his grave?

Toliy:

I'd have to piss on my grandfather's grave, because that's where he's at, we're going.

Vemir:

He's here in Jersey, dude, we're going. He's here in Jersey too. We're going there tomorrow. We're going there tomorrow. I'm going to say this, my father was an abusive drunk.

Alina:

He's going to have Mexican food before we go and then shit everywhere. Sorry.

John:

My mom took us kids, finally, after gaining some strength, took us kids and got us out of there before he could turn the violence towards us kids and got us out of there before he could turn the violence right towards us. And then, shortly, he met my dad, and my dad, who I consider my real dad, told me growing up that he may not be my father, but a father is someone that provides sperm for your mother. Oh my god, but your dad, your dad is the one. A dad is the one that's always there for you, no matter what Right you do something stupid. They don't get pissed. They're there. They try to talk some sense into you, but they're the ones that are there in it through thick and thin. So I believe, right, right Did he dress up and sang Claus for Christmas.

John:

He's Jewish. Thank you, just like my mother.

Katherine:

So no, all right, fine, that's why he converted, I believe.

John:

But I believe, yes, a dad can still be a very good dad, probably the best dad.

Eldar:

So let's explore what totally actually raised that question in the first place.

Katherine:

What was the question? He made a statement. Yeah, I heard it.

Eldar:

Why don't you say it again and kind of explain what it is, and maybe then maybe Harris will retract everything he just said?

Toliy:

Yeah, I mean like yeah my question. I mean it's more of a question because I haven't like really explored it like a lot yeah. But I have a hunch that I mean. See, it's hard, because I think that different people have different understandings of what a good father is.

Katherine:

That's why it's hard too.

Eldar:

Just playing video games and shit with them.

Toliy:

We could go all the way back. He's providing us money. That's a good dad. Another person's like yeah, that's not a good dad.

Toliy:

Another person is that he has no money for us, but he spends a lot of time with the kids. He's a good dad, right? So, like again, it might be hard to define, but like I, I think if we're talking about like the highest form of a good relationship or like a good father, um, I I don't see a world where it does not work out with the mother, but you're still in in that world, a good father yeah, yeah and he's.

Eldar:

I think he's gonna. He's gonna go towards love, he's gonna go to soul. You're gonna keep it, keep tripping away. You're gonna get to the point of like was there an actual love and why did it fail and how come it wasn't like passed on to the kids and stuff like that and everything else, and the mom, like if there's true love, like there shouldn't be any rifts well, yeah, there has to be a particular focus there has to be a particular focus

John:

on the relationship.

Toliy:

On the relationship right, because it's like two people were in a relationship and they made a decision to have a child and to me there's something about not being able to maintain that relationship in a healthy way that leads to have a child. Yeah, right, and um, to me there's something about not being able to maintain that relationship in a healthy way that leads to being a poor dad yeah, right, yeah um, I, I again like, I don't have exact reasons.

Toliy:

I guess, maybe, maybe, um, but I, I also think that, like um, if, if, if a father's not with like the mother, right if, first off, I think, if the father's not with the mother, right First off, I think, if the father's not providing a particular level of love to the mother, I don't think the mother can also be a good mother at the same time. Wow.

Alina:

I'm getting so deep, let me just I can't believe.

John:

you just said that.

Eldar:

That's fireworks for you, my friend.

Alina:

I was 15 years old and I got pregnant with my daughter. The reason why I stayed in my relationship for such a long time is because I wanted to only be with the man that I had children with. I didn't want to integrate another person in there to make it work for them to have a good stepdad. Whatever the case may be, my kid's father grew up in a piss poor family situation. His parents were married. He had other siblings. They had this picture perfect life outside, but the reality is they weren't picture perfect. You know what I mean. So he did go through his hardships Again. Can I say that he is an exceptional father? No, you're right, he didn't love me and I didn't love him. Maybe at the time the lines were blurred as to what love was because we were so fucking young.

Alina:

Well, yeah you know what I'm saying? We didn't even know, we didn't even love ourselves, so, like, how the fuck were we gonna love each other, right? So yeah?

Toliy:

it's also how it's it's. It's also, I think, like incredibly hard to do all that while being very young and having like while you're in society, you know if you have to pay for rent.

Alina:

You have to pay for this, but I'm here to tell you that, though we did go through these hardships and it was hard for us together, no matter what, at the end of the day, we always took care of our children. So I think that the love that we had for our children is what kept us being good parents.

Alina:

Yes, we've made mistakes, as I'm sure your parents made mistakes, his parents their parents, everybody's parents you're gonna make mistakes as a parent, trust me, but I think that, though we did make those mistakes, we did have enough love for each other that it it was so much love for our children like to this day, we can all be in the same room. Listen, I got my qualms with my kid's father. There's unresolved issues, things that we don't talk about, but at the same time, there's enough love there for me to be like all right, I'll resolve these issues when I'm in therapy. I don't need to resolve these issues now Like I'm over it. We love our children.

Alina:

Let's do what we need to do for our children, and my kids are thriving and they've been through hardships, but because we all love each other as a family together, though we're not together, we have been able to persevere through those hardships and come out better because we do love each other. And does that make sense? Like, yeah, we didn't love each other, but that doesn't negate from the fact that we are good parents sure, sure, uh, based on what the cars that you were dealt with right, absolutely but.

Eldar:

I think that we can have a thought experiment here, right to discuss the work. Why do we have the attitudes that we do have towards these gender roles, for example, right?

Eldar:

right why do we get upset? Why do we think that, like you know, one's more important than the other? There's reasons, reasons for that right? I think the people that really understand relationships you know through and through are in love. There's no, nobody's better than the other person. You know what I mean. And no matter how much money you throw on one side or the other, like you're making this much like nothing beats beats. I think, uh, raising a child, that is such an important role that, like there's no money that you could, there's no price tag to put on that but again this goes back to what I was saying before.

Alina:

Don't you think that there will be some underlying animosity for a mother who's at work and not being able to raise her children because the innate desire?

Mike:

to do so. Is there If she got into that?

Eldar:

situation, yeah, but at the end of the day it's a choice in the matter, right, but even if it's a choice you have to also, like you got to really break it down, okay. If that's your true nature, yes, I think that there will be certain issues internally which should not be passed on to the dad.

Alina:

If it was a choice, Okay, valid If it was a choice.

Toliy:

If it was a choice, if you sat down together and said hey, hey you know, you decided this.

John:

I have an issue with this, you know, whatever you're speaking on it.

Alina:

Okay, so then it's spoken about, all right, but again, I just think that, yeah, we don't want it. We want to be considered as equal, but theoretically that it's not possible to be considered equals. You know, though we may try to get to that point where we're equal, it is not going to happen in this lifetime, so there's always going to be.

Mike:

I don't think we're supposed to be you see, but that's where that that. So then again because we're not equal, like in the sense that we are equal, but it's also we're not equal in the the sense that we are equal, but it's also we're not equal in the things that we can provide no, the problem is in the judgment calls as to what's more important.

Eldar:

Which role is more important? There's no more important role of a mother breastfeeding their kids, for example. Like are you crazy? Like what a man cannot do. This cannot do this.

Mike:

The bond that's formed. Maybe Harris can do it Okay.

John:

Right, listen, harris. The kids weren't breastfed. That's disgusting. I'm just going to put it like that the kids weren't breastfed.

Eldar:

That's disgusting.

John:

Not even by their mother. They were not breastfed.

Alina:

Okay.

Eldar:

Sucks for them. We're moving on. It's very important job, right.

Alina:

I didn't do it so much with Isabella, but I did do it with Anthony, very important Night and day there you go. So definitely, if you're going to breastfeed, try to do it or you're going to have Pump.

Eldar:

Okay.

John:

Alright, are you getting a little?

Eldar:

Yeah, a little drunk that's the sauce talking.

John:

It's residual from yesterday.

Katherine:

Control this guy man.

John:

Yo, it's residual from yesterday. Control this guy, man. Yo shut up, take your belt off. Oh shit, what the hell are you doing, bro? You had a little bit too much to drink already.

Alina:

You're out. Your god damn mind boy. Look at that. You asked for a second one and you're taking your belt off yo you need to show yourself out the door man.

John:

He wanted to spank you with the belt man you need to show yourself out the door man do something else excuse yourself

Eldar:

yeah, so I think the argument's really flawed. It's really bad, right? Uh, anybody, anybody who has any conviction to say that a man is more important than the woman or a woman more important than the man, I think they lost their fucking mind.

Katherine:

Yeah, I think that is a flaw in thinking right there in society, where you're putting more value on the money versus this or vice versa, like I don't think that a millionaire is going to be a better person than me.

Eldar:

Absolutely not Sure.

Katherine:

I'm not a millionaire, but, like your, money doesn't mean anything.

Eldar:

That's right. It doesn't hold weight, that's right. Just because you know how to grind something, yeah, you'll have a skill to get that money. It doesn't mean anything Exactly so like I think it has to do with actually how you view society and society in general, on already putting one higher than the other. You know, and the measure, the only measure that you're supposed to line up with raising kids and stuff like that is probably how happy are they? What kind of values have you instilled in them? What are their virtues? What are they following right? Are they miserable little pricks that talk back to you and fucking curse everybody out and gangbang and all this other shit? Or are they actually good? You know humans and they're going to be productive members of society kind right?

Alina:

are they kind right to themselves, right yeah?

Toliy:

proven in society. This is a proven fact. Yeah right that it's way easier to make a lot of money than to be a good parent that's right oh yeah, I know it's easier to make money than it is to be a good person.

Katherine:

Show me how to make these millions.

Mike:

Show me how to make these millions dude.

Eldar:

That's why you're here, man.

Katherine:

He doesn't care about the millions.

Alina:

I will say this yeah, you can make all the money in the world and it is easy, or whatever the case may be, but at the end of the day, when you're shitting on yourself and old folks home and you don't have no family to wipe your ass, that money don't mean shit.

Mike:

I have a question. I have a question. Maybe you guys can you know why are you?

Eldar:

throwing a fit though.

Mike:

Because Harris is pissing me off.

Alina:

Mike is screaming right now, mike is screaming Harris, you're pissing him off. Fuck, you take a drink fuck you hold on, should I bring?

Eldar:

the towel from the bathroom to put over his head please.

Mike:

I don't want to look at it when I'm formulating this question, okay please, everybody, close your eyes, don't look at hers go ahead, mike, like, um, this equality thing right, or like the equal question, do you think? Do you guys think it's if this problem keeps coming about? Yeah, yeah.

Mike:

Or do you think from nature right, there's a kind of thing where a man, a male not just calling a man, but a male has a certain kind of Importance, Like a certain not just importance, but a certain A man is a man, he's designated to be a certain type of way, and a female is a female.

Alina:

This is my argument. This is my argument.

Mike:

No, no, but yeah, and a female is a female. This is my argument, this is my right. Uh-huh, no, no, but okay, by nature, by nature, right, okay, like the lions. I'm not sure if they're talking among each other, having these kind of philosophical conversations, but yet they perform their certain roles right, they're definitely not animal kingdom, plant kingdom.

Mike:

Right, they do what they're supposed to do. Yeah, we, there is no man like I mean, I'm not sure if there's a manual, but there might be a manual, but we're not given to it from birth and we kind of pass that on to the kids and, you know, to our partners. So do you think that there's a manual where a man's role is defined or a male role is defined in nature, just how it is in the animal kingdom, in the animal kingdom and the plant kingdom, and a female?

Eldar:

I'm going to tell you right now yes, and that manual is in what Alina said earlier. She yearns to be a, let's say, a home mom.

Alina:

Absolutely.

Eldar:

And wants to take care and be the nurturer, that right there, that innate thing, the innate stuff.

Alina:

You're born with this as a woman.

Mike:

That's what manual and I think the problem is that the equality is like.

Eldar:

Sorry, let me finish my thought, but tapping in into that is the self-actualization of being the human being at the highest level.

Alina:

But also that ties into what Toley was saying. A lot of men now aren't as innate with their feelings because they don't have fathers. They don't have fathers that implement this alpha male working do what you have to do, cater to yourself, but also cater to your family. These things are no longer existent because fathers are not being fathers. They're not there to instill these values in our young men. You know what I'm saying. Maybe your father was around, Maybe your father was on your father's. Your father wasn't, so you had somebody else that showed you these values how to be a better man, A better person. You know what I'm saying? Some men that I know they've never met their fathers, my father I don't know where the fuck my dad is. You know what I'm saying. So when I hang out with other men, they're like, damn Lee, like you're so masculine I don't even realize that I'm being so masculine.

Eldar:

Because it's just like I have to compensate for it. Listen, but see. At the end of the day, it's because of the fact that you're not tapping into what you actually want to be.

Mike:

Well, I can't.

Eldar:

Yeah, you gotta fight, you're always fighting. You're a fighter. You're a fighter.

Katherine:

Right, so you have to be the nurturing mom at home, while still being the breadwinner, so you got to go out there, be tough, make the money, bring it back home and then still like you're.

Eldar:

You have split personalities. You have to, rightfully so. Everybody does Right.

Katherine:

Which is tough and it can harden you.

Alina:

Yeah, it's tough, yeah, absolutely in you. Because it's tough?

Mike:

Yeah, absolutely, but if you understand this right, then shouldn't you pass it on then to your kids?

Eldar:

You're going to have to try.

Mike:

I will say this, though, too, because I am the only person with kids in the room.

Alina:

Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm saying it in the sense that, no matter how hard you try to make your children be a certain way, they are always they are individuals. So remember that you can make yourself fucking crazy trying to make these children be something and at the end of the day they're always going to be who they want to be.

Eldar:

I think that universal truths pass on to humans. I agree with you, but I can't.

Mike:

Yeah, I don't agree with you because, yeah, like I was saying, the universal truth, the truth is they're going to be individuals, like the individual core. Right, we have our things, these personalities. Right, I'll go play basketball, totally play basketball, play basketball. We like UFC, we like sports, whatever. Ultimately, that's just the top level that you see At the core. Those are fundamental truths that we all are, where we think about a lot more deeper stuff. What? Do we value. What do we value what's?

Eldar:

the warranty Honesty right, kindness Right right right, right, Absolutely absolutely. And those things I think are transferable, yes, but you have to teach them right, you have to be able to.

Alina:

Well, that's the idea of being a parent.

Eldar:

A good parent Right.

Alina:

You know, you're basically the essential teacher to these children.

Eldar:

Whatever shell that you put on, whatever costume you put on, whatever vest you put on out there to the world, it's whatever. It doesn't mean anything, but at the end of the day, when we sit down and we have a conversation eye to eye, we're going to find out who you really are. I don't care what you're wearing. I don't care what you're wearing. I don't care what tattoos you got. You know what I mean. Your mouth will speak for itself.

Toliy:

Also, it's very hard, I think, to do what Mike was saying or what you were saying Like you need a scenario where you have two people that are first competent themselves, have a good relationship and then have the right tools to pass it down to, like the kids, which I mean.

Mike:

That's very hard, I'm definitely not saying that it's easy.

Eldar:

I think we should strive for that. We should strive for it.

Katherine:

Well, that is essentially what parents? Do every day.

Alina:

Like they literally are trying to figure it out.

John:

How to strive for better parents good parents.

Alina:

You know they're essentially waking up in the morning and they're trying to instill these wonderful values. Listen, I'm not going to sit here and say I'm the greatest parent. I have my things too. Did I pass those on to my kids? Some of them I did, and some of the worst qualities that I have? I did not. So I dodged a bullet. But also, like he said, there's some things that I do, that I do it so much and it's so bad that my kids won't do it. I curse like a fucking sailor. My daughter does not curse. You know what I'm saying. She's like I think it's disgusting. I think that you cursing is disgusting. Am I going to change that? I've tried. I've tried revisiting not cursing. I'm still waiting for the day.

Katherine:

But like is it going to ever fucking?

Alina:

happen? Probably not. Like I curse like a sailor on to my kids for now, no, yeah, maybe I'll change. I mean I've changed in the last year, probably changed six times, so there's a possibility for there to be a change. But again, I didn't impose it on my children and because they know that it's kind of nasty, they were like they had the cognizance on their own to be like I'm not gonna follow suit with what mommy's doing, like I don't like it, so I'm not gonna do it. Some children, they don't have the strengths to be like OK, no, I'm going to be just like my fucking parents. You know what I'm saying. And then others are like I don't want to repeat that. Listen, I had a kid at 15. My kid's father's mom, she was 15 when she had her first kid.

Eldar:

So you were the same age as Harris. Right now you had a kid Right, wow.

Alina:

So think about. She doesn't even want kids. You know what I'm saying, so you know. Sometimes they repeat history and other times they're just they negate entirely from doing the fucked up shit that their parents do because they learn Like, they learn from your mistakes and they're like okay, I don't want kids Absolutely.

John:

I'm going to mention my oldest brother, david. Oh, my God. No, he absolutely does not want his biological father when he was a kid, and it's something he cannot get out of his head. He's too afraid to have kids because he's afraid he's going to do the same exact shit Right, and maybe that'll change.

Alina:

Maybe he'll meet a woman that he'll be like oh, I want a kid with you. I love you. I think that we could do this. Maybe that'll change eventually.

John:

But for now.

Alina:

It's tough Because he has had it.

Eldar:

It's tough. So what are we saying, guys? Did we come to an?

Alina:

agreement. I just think communication is key. When you're in a relationship with someone, I think that you have to really speak about your wants and your needs. Those are things that need to be communicated. So that way, you both are making a conscious effort.

Eldar:

Why do so many people have a hard time doing this?

Alina:

It's the gender. It's the gender thing, it's the role thing, it's a society thing. How do we get here? But again, you know, it's like women are like okay. Well, society shows that women need to be home cleaning and cooking and doing all these things. Why am I working just as hard as you?

Eldar:

What do you mean? Society?

Alina:

I mean I don't listen. I don't listen to anybody. I beat to my own drum, but other people don't.

Mike:

But there's also, yeah, the people who don't listen, like you're one person, for example, saying you don't listen, right, we're not going to fact check you, but we'll just take your word for it.

Eldar:

No, Alina's a paper tiger man. Yeah, she's a paper tiger, she barks a lot she don't, don't?

Mike:

you don't listen to the news. Some people, other people don't like I'm I don't think it's 100 of the population, I think there's some people are outliers and those people have to keep spreading that idea right to the people they know. And I think that's how. Yeah, like I'm on social media, but I don't go out there and like start doing certain things. That's on social media.

Mike:

I watch it, I'm entertained by it, right it's entertaining, absolutely, you know but I'm not gonna start living my life based on whatever the latest influencers are doing no because then you wouldn't be happy, right like that's their life man, come on you telling me you're drunk already.

John:

No man you're telling me, I would, I would fucking do this stupid ass shit these influencers do. I'd risk life and limb if that got me my millions of dollars Right, but that's because you're 15 though.

Eldar:

I'm 26,. Dude, why'd you say that out?

John:

loud man, I would live the life of all the jackass guys to get those millions of dollars.

Toliy:

Harris, you cannot make money, you cannot have a lot of money, at least for the next 10 years, if not more.

John:

See, this is the rules they're saying.

Eldar:

Harris, yesterday you didn't jump over the fire. Fucking pit that you wanted to be the jackass guy. Yo, yo, you're a paper tiger. You're a paper tiger, hold up, hold up. I don't want to hear this shit. Man who was saying oh?

John:

don't do it, don't do it.

Alina:

Eldar and John right, you know how many times the jackass guys. They told them not to do it and they didn't this dude wouldn't move.

John:

man, I was trying to jump and he was holding me back.

Alina:

He cares about you Well he should've just let me do it.

John:

I'm telling you to this day, I could've made that shit. Don't do it unless you're getting paid a million.

Toliy:

Harris, harris, I couldn't let you jump man, you would've got hurt.

John:

Even if I got hurt, bro, you don't know how much, how many hits that video would've got and so what?

Toliy:

you wouldn't get famous if it got over a million.

John:

There are too many jackasses doing the same thing you're doing, man exactly, but they go viral if it would've went on a million views, I would've made at least 75,000 yeah, but is that what you really want to do?

Alina:

a million views is worth like a hundred bucks. You guys have a Wikipedia it's like 18 per thousand views. My sister does TikTok.

Mike:

She's an esthetician my friend has 3 million views on like 3 videos and he hasn't made a dollar right. My sister made 3.5 million views.

Alina:

She got a contract with LaResh Poseh. She made some money. You know what I'm saying. Was it $75,000? Hell, fucking no.

John:

How much you think that Hot Tua girl is making Fuck her.

Eldar:

You want to spit on something too.

Alina:

Oh my God, wait, let's talk about the Hot Tua girl.

John:

Let me ask you a question. There's a bunch of guys here. Let me ask you a question. There's a bunch of guys here.

Alina:

Let me ask you a question Do you think that that is attractive For real? Like, don't lie, I'm a girl. I'm not one of those girls that make them again. Come on, do you think Okay?

Eldar:

Are we choosing a white girl or out and drinking?

Alina:

But I'm just saying, like you gotta think about it, that's my.

John:

Nebraska girl man.

Mike:

He's gonna marry her if he sees her. She got the cowgirl hat on.

John:

She got the accent. I'm good to go for life Bro this girl's a fucking clown.

Eldar:

Listen, you know what's attractive to the guys on that specific video.

Katherine:

She's a whore.

Alina:

No.

Eldar:

No, no, no, no no.

Alina:

Just imagine how her dad feels, not the teeth, because we don't need the teeth. If you're doing the arc tool right, hold up, hold up, hold up, because she actually opened up about it.

John:

She was fucking drunk that night when that YouTuber came up to her.

Alina:

I know a bunch of girls that are very open.

John:

But she said supposedly you believe she has a contract with the fucking actual producing studio. Now she's famous, she got her. It's just like this. What is this guy?

Alina:

She wears frosted lipstick. So we're in 2024 and she's wearing frosted lipstick.

Eldar:

Because they're from.

John:

Nebraska Right, so she has a contract all because Actually she's from Nashville.

Alina:

It's the same shit All because she's talking about spitting on a cock. You know how many girls do that for a living.

John:

Yeah, look at Nicki Minaj, dude yeah look at Nicki Minaj dude. I'm talking about that wet-ass pussy.

Katherine:

Oh my God, man Right, but that's what I'm saying. There's no.

Eldar:

No, no, no, you got to understand. She gave props to the men. By saying that yeah, you understand how. By showing that she's submissive.

Alina:

You understand that's it, but all girls no no, no, no, no, no, no.

Eldar:

To vocalize it publicly is a different thing that's my issue okay, but they cut out the rest of her video girl.

Alina:

Go ahead, you know what I'm saying, but they cut out the rest of her video but to glorify her, and then everybody's like oh, it's like the girl, for example well, that's because what guys are missing right now?

Eldar:

you know what I'm saying let this girl live her best life.

Alina:

They could get a hawk tour and they're still gonna cheat on their fucking bitch 100% 100%.

John:

Let this girl live her life man.

Katherine:

She's having the best time.

John:

She's hanging out with Shaq. She's hanging out with everyone now.

Alina:

Shaq is another nasty ass. She's hanging out.

Katherine:

You wanna be a hawk tour boy Nah fuck you what the fuck you.

John:

Whatever you were doing at the barbecue yesterday, you know what? I would definitely settle down with a hot, chill girl. That's nasty man, you would settle down with her. Okay, so let me ask you guys this Let me ask you guys this, are you okay?

Alina:

being with a woman who is a slut, a whore, that she likes to fucking get dicked down, does slutty shit. Is that okay for you?

Eldar:

Is that what you fuck? This is the one that you want to.

John:

You also gotta say yeah, exactly, she might have just said something when she was drunk you don't know.

Alina:

So what does she do after that?

Eldar:

I'm gonna tell you right now she don't get no dick, she's 20.

Alina:

She didn't even brush her fucking hair she's young as shit.

John:

She's 20 years old. She don't know what the fuck she's doing.

Alina:

She doesn't even know what to do with a dick if a dick slapped her in the face.

Eldar:

Yeah, so we got a problem. It's men versus women and women versus men, and we're trying to figure this thing out, obviously as philosophers or aspiring ones. We're trying to get to the definition of what the word need really means. Why do we say we need women, or men need women, and vice versa? What's the need? Help us out here, vamir, a little bit. Why do we? Why do we? Why do we?

Vemir:

get scared with that word, right? If one party or the other party asking me what people usually think or what?

Eldar:

like no, why do we have this problem? Why do we have this thing where, like now, all of a sudden, we have independent women, independent men, and then they can't get along and they don't understand how to properly fall into gender roles in such a way where both parties are comfortable, happy and thriving and thriving.

Vemir:

Uh, mike, can you put up my I mean, oh yeah, over here, thank you. I think, like I notice, a lot of people on both genders will either consciously or subconsciously it's like from loneliness that they get into a relationship, right, okay, that happens Okay. Sometimes it's like companionship is good, I mean, but the thing is like it's such a big question you have to put into that context. Like in society, gender roles exist because there is the masculine feminine dance and traditionally it was really more pronounced because life was simpler, okay. So when they say it's all social programming and then I ask, okay, where is the social programming from? There's not really another answer. So I think that's also a dance, like what nature put in us and then how society has mapped it on top.

Mike:

Like I have friends. That's a very good point. That is definitely a good point.

Eldar:

But that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to find out. Like Alina opened up and said look, inside of me I do have this thing, this yearning for like, wanting to be a complete woman, let's just say of like, just be vulnerable and stay home and be the nurturer. Right, I have that inside, but she's like, no like in this society or whatever the walls that she had to build.

Vemir:

There's not qualified men who deserve to to have that quality exactly we got a problem, vamir.

Eldar:

Where's the sentiment coming from? And I agree with you that a lot of maybe we're closer to nature now that all the shit is artificial and all this fucking shit that's going on in the world, it's kind of overshadowing our true nature as human beings, right, what the fuck. And now men are against women and women are against men and now men are becoming women and women are becoming men.

Alina:

Whoa.

Vemir:

Before we go there, there's a lot of animosity among the genders. You know what's funny? My dad would tell me about the 80s. We were talking about this recently. I'm only going to talk about stuff recently for the next couple minutes because it's like present to mind. As you guys were talking, he was saying like the 80s were full of love, the music was good.

Vemir:

You go out in a suit, you know you go to jazz, you know, romantic era yeah, I don't feel any of that today. Yeah, it's very hard to find romance. It's like very methodical. I need this criteria. Yeah, check these boxes. You're like not really there with the person on a date sometimes, right. So I've become I'm 28 and a half. I become more selective, like every year. I'm getting more. I was already picky, now I'm getting more selective. I'm getting more. I was already picky, now I'm getting more selective, and I think, like I've had a period of solitude which is is there something wrong with audio?

Katherine:

oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Vemir:

So I mean I feel like today the vibe is like still figuring it out and there's conflict more than romance. Yeah and um, that seems to be a problem because people are breaking up. I mean, you ever watch these podcasts where people have like these stories? I mean it's insane. How do you say that publicly, like all of these things they've done and stuff like that? On the contrary, I do see a lot of people like returning to religion. You know, I see a lot of people publicly doing that.

Vemir:

And one of the things I want to bring up earlier is I was speaking to my relative and he's like devout guy and he said in the Bible, paul says that if you don't get married, you have more time to do worship.

Vemir:

Right, you have more time to do worship right, you have more time to be with God.

Vemir:

But if you have the desire for companionship, it's good to get married and know each other and all that. So, like the super traditional way is pretty much controversial and unknown these days, and I've been watching life as I've gotten older, unknown these days, and I've been watching life as I've gotten older and I feel like, um, I'm trying to see all the ways that people build relationships, you know. I mean I've seen directly the alpha males, the guys who are lonely and desperate, the very traditional couples, the old style couples, the just finding myself or the post breakup, all that kind of stuff. So I think there's a certain vibe that you know, when you're running around you kind of lose something. When you're also seeking something, it can get into a negative loop and a lot of people I think happy in in in some sense of mutual respect, I think, even above, when you're in love, it seems like, uh, respect is becoming more important to me, you know, I mean, so there are different factors that I think are not in the main sphere.

Eldar:

Right, like I'm seeing what, you're not helping me with what happened. What happened? Oh, the origin of the problem? Yeah, societally I was getting into specifics but yeah, no everything you said You're not helping me with what happened.

Vemir:

What happened? Oh, the origin of the problem? Yeah, Societally. I was getting into specifics.

Eldar:

Yeah, no, everything you said is valid and I agree with it, but what happened?

Vemir:

How did we get here? I think people start to value what they want and think that that's justified, like my desire, primal desire, or how I feel right now is exactly the truth.

Eldar:

And that's a problem. That's it. Okay, that's very selfish.

Vemir:

You're a bridge, you have these desires and then you have like a certain wisdom right. It's like that little voice telling you what the right thing to do is. But that thing is hard, and so I think people today are just kind of going into. I don't want to generalize, that's why I'm hesitating. It's like there is a hedonistic aspect of whatever I feel, or it's not really wise, like a lot of the things.

Eldar:

Well, he wants to jump off of a roof and get some millions of views. That's what you're talking about. But then what?

Vemir:

That's what I'm saying, saying but he hasn't thought this through so you go around off a roof, you go around, you say you want to be viral like it applies to both genders right it applies to both genders. If you go around a lot of guys or a lot of girls or whatever you do, or for likes, like, are you gonna feel satisfied? I highly doubt it.

Eldar:

So see, at the end of the day, this is what we're talking about. You know, we talked about this earlier, right? No matter how you spin this, this thing, this uh argument about who's making what, what the gender roles are, it doesn't matter. Right, at the end of the day, you're measuring sticks, gonna be? Are you fucking happy? So internally ultimately yes and ultimately, can you lie that? Can you lie to yourself about that? You cannot, you can. You can lie to the world right with social media.

Eldar:

That's it, but inside when you go home and you're by yourself and you have to reflect, oh shit.

Alina:

That's why those conversations Need to be had with someone. If you're really going to sit down and be in a relationship with somebody and really go through the motions Of a relationship, you have to sit there and communicate hey, listen, are you? Are we Okay With this being what we're going to do? Are there going to be animosities? If the forefront of things, these animosities aren't there, but then they show up, we need to be able to communicate that, assess, reset and then do that. Some people, some men and some women, are not willing to have these conversations in relationships. They're just like no.

Mike:

I think people are getting into those relationships without actually having a baseline of even able to communicate what you're talking about. So that's why People are just getting in, because they got an itch and Paris wants to give it a scratch. Oh my God.

Vemir:

And then you're asking where the relationship creeps up on you.

Toliy:

But if you're asking how the problem is transpiring, I guess, right, you have people who are trying to figure stuff out, starting from young kids, right, and they're looking at who they, at that moment, feel like is someone that has life figured out or someone that is happy, which is who right now? The influencers out there, right, and there's like, I mean, there's a lot of influencers out there, I think, but there's also like a very little amount compared to how many people are actually out there, right, and what's happening is that the people are seeking guidance from the influencers because they're a product of what that's a complete illusion.

Eldar:

They're a product of poor parenting to begin with, whoa. I want to hear what he says yeah, yeah, go ahead. I have to go in five minutes.

John:

Before we continue this conversation.

Eldar:

We're going to have a small little break where Harris is going to entertain us. Minutes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're talking about these. Before we continue this conversation, we're going to have a small little break where Harris is going to entertain us now.

John:

Now hold up. You're saying these influencers right, the ones doing dumb shit, right, Some of them dumb shit, your role models.

Mike:

Yeah, exactly your role models, right.

John:

They got bad parents is basically what you're saying have bad parents. I knew some of the best parents that their kids did stupid shit yeah, but your definition of what is good parents is different from what is actually good parents. You could be the best parents in the world.

Eldar:

Listen to what he said he said that your definition of good parenting doesn't hold any water here.

John:

Like I had, good parents, right, I did stupid shit. I've been in trouble with the fucking law.

Mike:

Why are you?

John:

pointing at me.

Eldar:

I'm not pointing yeah, right, yeah, but how do you know that you had good parents?

John:

look, at the way he's calling out my mom, my dad, yeah, yeah, you said you want to piss on your dad's grave. How about you? I said that is the one that raised me, though wait, I'll tell you my mom tried her fucking best okay trying your best is different than being good. Everybody, I did stupid shit because it was my own decision where did you learn all these things?

Toliy:

I'm not going to mention names, but you know exactly where I fucking learned it, that's gay bro, my brother talked me into this at the end of the day, I feel you guys have the same parents most of us probably did not have parents that were in a position to explain us things, to teach us properly, to Partially, because they probably shouldn't have had kids to begin with, because they probably weren't in a great position.

Alina:

I'm sorry, I hate to cut you off, tully, but my mom is awesome. My mom did a good job, oh, like.

John:

I think my mom tried her best.

Alina:

She didn't try her best. My mom raised me with words of affirmation.

Eldar:

You're a cursing sailor now.

Alina:

Right, but this goes back to what I'm saying. Even though my mom doesn't curse like that, my mom raised me well. I still, as an individual, made my own decisions on my own cognizance.

Mike:

You would have to define what you mean by she raised well, so yeah, where's the reason stop? Pass on to you that you would consider.

Alina:

Well, that's right because, I mean, I was able to raise two children at the age of 23. What did she do? At what cost a lot, a lot. But also that was a direct reflection of myself.

Eldar:

I was the one who chose to get pregnant sure, but but who gave you birth, who raised you?

Alina:

My mother.

Eldar:

By herself and you made an adult decision at 15 to get pregnant. When did you ban your mom? You said you know what, mom? You stay right there and I'm going to do my own thing.

Toliy:

Yeah, because if that was a good thing, you would be advising Harris to go get Huk to it as much as possible. Yes, are you?

Eldar:

advising your son and daughter right now to do the Huk to us at 14, 15? You're not? No, my mom didn't advise me to do that shit.

Alina:

I was doing it behind her back.

Eldar:

I met someone who influenced me.

Alina:

I met someone who influenced me. That's what I'm saying. Is that?

Toliy:

the world out there has a lot of influencers right yeah, and I think the reality is if, if, if we have nothing to do with my mom. Well, no, it has everything to do with I think that if we as parents are not good parents, someone else is going to be their dad or their mom in the world out there.

Katherine:

That is true and that's what the influencers are when they look at like, for example, that guy like getting raised by the internet right now.

Toliy:

Yeah, like that guy, like Grant Cardone or someone like that.

John:

Who the fuck is that Real estate guy?

Eldar:

Talk about Tiger.

Toliy:

King because he can relate to.

Vemir:

Tiger King. I don't know who Tiger King is either.

Eldar:

Hi Crocodile.

Toliy:

Dundee, crocodile, crocodile, dundee. Alright, so let me ask you.

Katherine:

Jake Paul. Yeah, Jake Paul you.

Eldar:

Jake Paul. Yeah, jake Paul. No, fuck Jake Paul. Fuck Jake Paul. Conor McGregor yeah, I was just gonna say that. What do you want? Fuck Jake.

Vemir:

Paul let me ask you a question.

John:

Go back to the Irish no, I think he has a very good point no if I, so you're saying right if I start making videos Conor McGregor alright because I'm planning on the park.

Katherine:

Yo, this guy's doing a lot You're going to have to do the banter Nebraska probably at the end of the year.

Eldar:

I'm going to go get a lot of. He's not going anywhere. You're not going to have to do no fucking bull.

John:

Fuck you. But no, I'm going to go get my amateur rodeo card after taking the, they have a fucking school for this.

Eldar:

Why would you rub your dick in? Your asshole on top of a fucking big animal. Let me put it this okay, that is disgusting.

John:

My ultimate goal would be able to stay on for that eight fucking seconds which supposedly feels like 30 minutes.

Toliy:

That's disgusting.

John:

What is wrong with you? You know why? Because that eight seconds will win you 10 grand and if you ever stay on and you win like three competitions, you're eligible for your pro rodeo card where you can win a million dollars.

Eldar:

Wow, oh shit, now that changes everything.

Alina:

So how about the guys that were born honorable? There's no guys born honorable.

John:

Most of these guys were born there, but then you think about the guys that were just jumping through the roof. Everyone's got to. I'm talking about making videos of me doing this shit and posting it on YouTube. If that makes kids want to ride a bull, that's fine, but do it the right way. I'll show my train everything I went through when I did it.

Mike:

Stop rambling.

Eldar:

You're cut off now from liquor. Fuck you.

John:

You know what your ass is gonna get on a bull. I can't wait.

Toliy:

I was just trying to make a point that like us as kids, because our parents either don't have time they both work Right they're not like, they don't have the right abilities to be the good parent, the role models talking about. We're going to look at the Jake Pauls. We're going to look at the famous people out there. We're going to look at the influencers on Instagram the cool friends, the cool people out there that we think we have a hunch inside that are happy, and we're going to try to emulate what they do, which?

Toliy:

is why the goal of the majority of people is what? To become? Extremely rich Hell yeah man and famous. Life gets easier after that you see, and then you have Harris.

John:

And then you have Harris, and then you have Harris Life gets easier after getting the money.

Alina:

I don't necessarily think that's true. So I made a lot of money and then I lost a lot of money.

Toliy:

Money will just amplify.

Eldar:

whoever you are, I can't wait for Harris to become rich.

Alina:

To be honest, there's a given thing with becoming rich I will have unlimited entertainment and I'm okay with him sacrificing himself for my entertainment.

Eldar:

But you see, that's what I'm saying. I'm okay with this. I love watching idiots on Instagram.

John:

It's great, I love watching idiots do stupid shit.

Alina:

But at the same time, think about all the jackass guys. Who is the only person on jackass that is actually alive and doing what he needs to be doing?

John:

Johnny Knoxville. But I told you, Ben Margera is fucked up. Two of them are dead.

Alina:

But two of them are dead but that's what I'm saying. At what cost are you winning Steve-O?

John:

is clean and sober, got himself clean, but he almost died.

Alina:

He almost died as a result of his jackassness.

John:

So is that something that you're willing Jackass that pulled him out, right, is it?

Alina:

But Crumply. But again, at what measure are you willing to go For the money?

John:

Yeah, let me tell you this. I can just say this right, bull riding, bull riding, sure, you can get fucked up real bad.

Alina:

Also, bull riding is fucking crazy.

Eldar:

Al Estimate that each individual has pain tolerance and a lot of times we learn through pain and if that's his development stage, to learn through pain To break a couple of bones.

John:

To look like an idiot. You break a couple of bones and you get on that bone with a fucking broken bone.

Alina:

I pay thousands of dollars for tattoos and people sometimes don't understand it.

Eldar:

You know what I'm saying.

Alina:

For me. I have my reasons why.

John:

I do it. Most of these guys do this me. You know, like, I have my reasons why I do it. Most of these guys do this for a good five 10, 15 years. Retire and open their own fucking businesses with the money they've made.

Alina:

Okay. Well, if this is something that you think is going to be lucrative for you, I mean go for it. I should do it on the weekend.

Mike:

You should be worried, because this is the type of gentleman you're tracking. Yo am I going to get.

John:

Letterfront as a sponsor, of course, see Eldar is sponsoring me for the boat ride.

Eldar:

I am 100% sponsoring you.

Alina:

I'm putting $2,000 on it. That's not going to be enough. Shut your mouth.

John:

That's not going to be enough. I'm sorry, it's once more like $10,000, $15,000 for a boat ride in here. I'm sorry, it's more like 10, 15k for a bull riding here.

Vemir:

My brother has a lot of tattoos.

Eldar:

I love tattoos. All right guys. Did we solve the problem with the gender problem or not? No, I don't think so. You don't think so.

Alina:

I think that we have a better understanding as to what it is.

Mike:

No, we won't solve it Until everybody knows what the role should be. As a man, you should know what your role is, should be. Listen, not in your role, as like society tells you, but from god, allah, nature, whatever, whoever created us. He said yo, this is what your job.

Eldar:

You don't see a fucking lion acting like a monkey okay, all right because he knows his job, he knows his right pre-programmed thing, but you can see a human acting like an animal. I'm not gonna point any fingers yeah, don't.

Katherine:

I might be, might be completely wrong here oh my god, please don't hurt me.

John:

No, I'm going to say this, right hold on wait, wait, wait let Mike finish his.

Mike:

I want to hear what he has to say and I think, I think that's that's probably the big problem is that we actually don't know what so we're making it up as we go, you say, but the roles they're not supposed to be like a derogatory thing where like, oh, you're a woman, you should cook, or a man, you should make money the roles that nature intended us to have.

Eldar:

No, no, no. Our inability to properly judge those things is the problem. When we remove the judgments on those tasks is when we finally find peace.

Vemir:

It's also like an alignment issue. Yeah, like people feel forced to be this kind of man or this kind of woman. That's not the framework. I would say right, mike, like it feels like when you find your authentic self and purpose. It's like an alignment.

Eldar:

You feel more in tune with who you are rather than being being forced into a role like I think the phrase gender role is like too limiting for your individuality and I think that when you, when you find that yourself but there are patterns, yes when you find yourself like you said and know exactly what it is that you are, you align with humility a lot of the times and you don't have no problem with the word need. I have no problem saying that I need Catherine in my life because there's an essential part that she plays in my life, in my identity of who I am. That fills me. If it didn't, I wouldn't be with her. If it was painful, I wouldn't be with her. I'd be running away already. You know what I'm saying. But because of the fact that I, as eldar, make up this very multifaceted dynamic of a human being, katherine plays a big part of that dynamic. You know what I mean and she serves me really well and I really like it.

Eldar:

And it takes effort and I do need it and I have no problem saying that, and it takes humility.

Vemir:

That's what I'm saying. If you can't apologize for something you did wrong. That is exactly what I'm saying. I mean, all of these things are going to and I love it.

Mike:

Sometimes I'm a baby and she knows, you know she submits to me and it's. It's an ongoing, different kind of like you guys are in like a long-standing loving relationship. Yeah, from my point of view, yo yo I'm not gonna ask Harris, cuz I don't actually care about your opinion.

Eldar:

Yeah.

Mike:

I'll fuck you.

Mike:

Listen to the gaze. Okay, fine, john Harris, you guys are good, please carry on. Do you feel like, in a way, love and your connection with Catherine is as close as you can get to, as, like you know, we need to breathe as humans? Do you feel like that need is just maybe not the same thing where, like yo, if we don't breathe we die? But in a certain sense it's very close to that because, again I want to go back to that pre, the pre-programming we as humans have is that we need man needs a woman, woman needs a man.

Eldar:

Yeah, I think that completes like 100 life, the real picture of life and and my ability and katherine's ability to tap into that and understand that is what forms that love. You know what I'm saying? We understand that love is the priority and love has crazy standards.

Alina:

But also understand that there are some people in the world who never get to experience this.

Eldar:

And this is why.

Alina:

I said yesterday, the need to want to be with a man at this point, or a man wanting to be with a woman, is not always, you know, like right there is I think that I need a man. I do think so. You know what I'm saying. I'm not going to sit here.

Eldar:

I'm not going to.

Alina:

We're glad that you're not transitioning right, I think I need a man, but at the same time I don't, if that makes sense what do you really?

Mike:

but the thing is, you feel like you don't is because you took that stance not out of a genuine thing, but more my guess is, my belief is that you took it because the experience that you had they haven't been pleasant. So in the way that you've had a relationship in the past, you don't need that kind of man. You actually need a man who is in the true sense, a man, right?

Mike:

so that's why you're saying that, which is also, again, it's out of context. You know like it's you're. What you're saying is for sure you don't need him. You don't need a man in the current form that you've had relationships and who you are as individual and the guys that you've dated. Right, yes, you don't. But if you level, leveled up to yourself and you find the guy who's also leveled up himself, where he is living to that true potential as a man and you as a female, then you absolutely need it.

Alina:

You know, right, right, right right. I mean listen again, like I said, I just think that the way he said it, it was just like yeah, see, the thing is I was on the other side of the table.

Mike:

Yeah, I was far. I didn't hear it, so I didn't hear how he said it yo, you heard it, bro, because I heard him, heard him get out. No, no, no, I heard him say it but I was far and I didn't hear the context of the conversation. I just heard that crazy comment, but I was far away. I didn't hear what led up to it, but I don't know how he meant it.

Katherine:

You know, because I didn't hear it Right. I don't actually know.

Mike:

He's not here, we can talk about it in a general form man, woman do we need each other? Outside of Mike or Alina or Harris or anybody in the grand scheme of humans? Do man and woman need each other? Absolutely, you don't think you can.

Vemir:

I'm not taking a side here do you? Think that you can have a peaceful and happy life alone yes, yes yes, right, but not because.

Katherine:

Yeah, but not actually wait, but not an actual one but not because you've been burned.

Vemir:

It's not. It's not like as a reaction. I'm saying like yes even with great options available. Yes, can you be peaceful and happy?

Mike:

Absolutely not.

Vemir:

No, no chance. Why? Because I disagree, I disagree too.

Eldar:

I'm not saying everybody should or shouldn't, because, at the end of the day, I think that the truth about nature and the way it's been programmed for us is for us to fit perfectly with a man as a woman. Okay, if that does not happen, we will forever have this, this thing about like what the fuck? Why, what do we fail?

John:

because where do we fail?

Eldar:

because of the fact that that yearning, that yearning for love, to love someone and to love to be loved back.

Vemir:

But to be loved, yeah. I have a rebuttal of course the rebuttal is that if we're all imperfect people in flesh which we all are imperfect, whether you're humble or not, you're still imperfect yeah um, nobody can give you that level that you're seeking right they will make mistakes right, so there's only one signal left but again, that's a.

Mike:

I'm not talking about a dependent.

Eldar:

I'm not talking about a dependent, it's always going to be flawed.

Vemir:

You can make it as great as you can, yeah, but they are not the pedestal sitting person. They can nobody, nobody, in any marriage, can get to that level I'm not talking about a dependent relationship, though every relationship is dependent in some way, shape or form, the only relationship that is not dependent yeah, which is unconditional, is from the creator. It's the only way to have permanent peace in my, in and the creator's design is meant to be a certain type of way.

Eldar:

Therefore, if that's already installed in you, it's inevitable for you to feel a certain level of turmoil.

Vemir:

Your pre-programmed nature what you said is not the default or highest level. It's not the best you can get, by the way. Well, who told you this? Uh, it's from my experience. Uh-huh, like, like your desire is. Have you ever?

Eldar:

been in love.

Vemir:

Yes, I mean at the level that I was in love, of course, yeah, I mean it's very satisfying, but humans are flawed, therefore they're going to make mistakes.

Eldar:

But yeah, but the thing there's nothing greater that your signal

Vemir:

inside, that's seeking that, yeah, needs to move away from influencers and away from your husband or wife. Yeah, in my opinion it will. When it finds the right idol which is perfect, you'll be satisfied. But you seek it in uh celebrities, then you change that and you seek it in your family and then you seek it in creating a family, but you're still seeking. That's why people you know, I mean uh yeah, no, no, no.

Eldar:

But the ultimate humility is to submit to that I think, at the end of the day the submission happened happens internally on yourself, not your partner. You know what I'm saying Because if you cherish God, or how I cherish, love to, that standard has crazy standards right. So, and for me to be able to live up to those standards and then have the ability to balance those standards off of someone, it's very helpful. Oh yeah, and that's why I'd rather bounce out of a human being rather than a rock.

Vemir:

Well, okay, that's fair. However, can I say something that Sadhguru said, which is, he said find someone that you can tolerate, don't make them into a god. Right your relationship with the divine through meditation, prayer, etc. Is what you're talking about? The highest standards of love. It's there, accessible for you. You're the one who has to get ready for it. The relationship thing is a few pegs down from that no, and if you accept that then you can have a happy relationship. But if you expect your partner to be perfect, I think it's impossible.

Mike:

No, no, no, no I think that is.

Eldar:

That is what you, I think you're missing but the highest standards.

John:

I'm not expecting for her to be perfect.

Eldar:

I'm expecting for her to be her right, and then I bounce off my ideology against her and then I'll see the response in accordance to what I'm doing. So if she's lighting me up, I know I'm doing something right.

Vemir:

You know what I mean. That's towards it, you're building towards it.

Eldar:

That is a higher stage and it's a lot harder than doing it, yes, than doing it by yourself. Uh, I mean it. I mean. You know what I'm saying. It's easy. It's easy to be peaceful outside in the nature when nobody's around?

Vemir:

no, it's not. I'm telling you, it's hard to be peaceful but the whole goal is to come back. Then you have to face yourself you know, your partner can comfort you, they can distract you, they can build with you, but it's not. We're getting you doing this shit here you're wearing a shirt.

Alina:

No, he's not saying he's, you're wearing a shirt that says this is my church shirt. He's wearing a fucking dildo on his shirt you can't say you're Jewish and you have a cross on your he's faking it.

Eldar:

John said everything he's saying is a lie wait wait, wait no keep it going wherever you were going.

Alina:

And I'm going to say this, if I'm being transparent, like I don't have a religion. I don't believe in god, I don't believe in the devil. Please don't judge me, I'm just speaking why, why.

Eldar:

But we can judge you. What's the problem? I'm going. This is a safe space. We can judge wherever we want. I I look what happened to harris I don't, I don't I don't believe in god.

Alina:

I don't have a religion. I believe in science't believe in God. I don't have a religion. I believe in science. I believe in theories. I believe in true, hard facts. So God to me is a blasphemous fairy tale. So, like some of the things that are said, I'm just like, yeah, there's no way you know what I'm saying, that this is happening and God can't hear my cries Like, son, I'm getting my ass beat or I'm getting raped and you're not helping me. This is just how I feel. Also, the devil is a human, not an entity in hell, because there are men that go outside and they fucking rape women who are coming home from work for no reason. That's the devil. You know what I'm saying? I don't believe. Again, this is just me. But I do believe that we are humans. That is true. We come from earth and the universe is real.

Alina:

I believe in energies, good energies, bad energies. I say that to say, you know, I, from a young age, never really had a connection with God. I just never really did. I read books and so I think that I had the enlightenment of reading and knowledge. So it gave me I don't know, I guess the brain capacity to be like yeah, this is far-fetched. So I never really was like, oh yeah, like my relationship with God, so therefore this is my relationship with people Like that's not how.

Eldar:

I.

Vemir:

Yeah, but Alina, what's the point? Were you getting it? Yeah?

Alina:

So, like you were saying, like you know, like the highest form of love is it's a relationship to God. Unconditional, with God being unconditional, but I don't have that relationship. But Alina.

Eldar:

But let me just introduce you what I, at least what I'm trying to say. When it comes right as the design, you know that thing that you said, hey, elder, like if it was possible, it was possible for me, I'd like to tap into being the true woman.

Toliy:

Let's just say right, right be the nurturing thing, right see that that's the design, right?

Eldar:

let's just say that you have inside of you, right? Yep, so if that's the design, right, I personally think that we should strive towards to be as close as possible, to be by the design. That's where we're going to be the most happiest, and you know this, you feel this, that's why you want it.

Alina:

But I cannot get to that. No, no, no, no. That's what you think, that's what you think those are your doubts.

Eldar:

Don't worry about those, okay, nonetheless, you have this feeling where, like yo, that'd be nice, right?

Alina:

I mean that right I mean, that's what I strive for okay, there you go.

Eldar:

I think that's god so even unconsciously, god okay, so if you get there. If you get, you get closer to his design. The closer you get to his design you feel really, really, really nice love being I think that's a human design, I think it's a godly design it was made by humans. Yeah, yeah, but who, yeah, who? What do you? Mean a human it was made by who made?

Vemir:

by who you think you said. Let me ask you in your own framework. You said the universe and you believe in positive energies and negative energies. Yeah, definitely Wouldn't you say that someone else could say that's God and the divine and the devil.

Alina:

Well, that's your belief.

Eldar:

I don't believe that I don't think it is. I think it's a terminology. It's not a guy.

Vemir:

That would be like an elementary description, but you're saying there are forces.

Alina:

It came from a microorganism that multiplied.

Eldar:

This is not a God complex God is not real, but nonetheless if I give you a compliment right now, you're going to smile right. If I call you a bitch, right, You're going to frown right.

Alina:

Right, there is a design that you either follow this, you get this, you follow that, you get that. It's two different things, right, that goes back to what I was saying. It's an innate woman genetic desire for me to want to be that way sure, sure what?

Eldar:

where did I come from right? Sure, a microorganism that built itself up to be this complex? It became my genetics you're trying to figure it out how this thing works and the everyday, yes, and the closer you get to it, the happier you'll be yes, I would agree with that. Okay, that's how I define god okay, okay, okay and ultimately, I think that you are actually god. But that's a different conversation, right, you know?

Alina:

what I'm saying. Right, I could agree with that. Yeah, I could agree, but it's not a but it's not a conflict with anything we're saying.

Vemir:

Yes, that is not a conflict, no, no, no, I'm not being confrontational, and I think you're humble enough to say, like, you don't know yet everything and I don't know and we don't, so in the process of figuring it out, I think it opens things up. Like, I think you're describing genetics a lot, but you have this awareness behind those genetics, right behind those genetics, right the like when you get angry and then you calm yourself down. Someone who's just wired to their genetics would be angry and no control. That's like what an animal does, but you have the awareness, you calm yourself down. This is not worth fighting over these kind of things, right? So that awareness is, uh, to me, a sense of wisdom and it can guide you. And the more you pay attention to that wisdom which is not to me a, like genetic component, I think, um, I mean that's knowledge that's going through the course of life.

Alina:

So that's experience.

Eldar:

Yeah, the experience is where you generate the wisdom well, we well we disagreed he thought he thinks that, uh, the most important relationship was that with that, by yourself, with the god. I said no. The most important relationship is that with that by yourself, with the God. I said no. The most important relationship, by design, I think, is actually with your, with your other other half.

Alina:

But I do why?

Eldar:

Because it's a lot more challenging and but it's a lot more rewarding.

Alina:

OK, granted, but I also do agree with him that there are some people who are content and very much happy with being alone. Sure, are content and very much happy with being alone, sure, but that's again.

Eldar:

But my challenge is again that at the end of the day, when an other God introduced into the equation, it can be fireworks, not the ones that he flew out.

Alina:

And that is true, because when you have two, it's better than one. Correct, that's what I'm saying. It's a multiplication of it, a hundred percent.

Eldar:

A simple math. However, it is harder to do.

Mike:

Therefore, it's hard to come across really good relationships, but it's also harder to do not by design.

Eldar:

You know what I'm saying.

Mike:

I want to say that I think the situation that we're in it's also not by accident. Our parents raised us a certain way, right yeah, For a certain reason.

Mike:

Yeah for a certain reason. So, yeah, relationships are hard, but it's also because we already made mistakes. Our parents made certain mistakes getting us to where we are and we're not also maybe taking it as severely as Alder was saying the importance of it, or we're not actually feeling empowered about what we can achieve. So, yeah, it's hard, but it's probably because we are working without a manual. Why are you?

Eldar:

always gravitating towards relationships, alina. You always want to take a break right and then boom, you're in a relationship. Something's telling you that whatever you're tapping into, the identity that you're tapping into, that's your actualization. You keep going towards that.

Alina:

Yeah, I said it at the beginning of everything and somebody else wants to be yours.

Eldar:

I I've wanted that since I think I I was. I had a conscious thought that's what I'm saying that I knew I wanted to be a mom, I knew I wanted to be a wife.

Alina:

I've never been married, I'm a mom, but you know what I'm saying I think it's by design and you're still close to that design.

Eldar:

And some individuals that are not right, they're a little bit more confused, right, far removed from good parenting, far removed from good relationships and stuff like that. What happens to them? They change genders, right. Yeah, they're like oh shit, I might not be in the right body. Oh, I might be here, I might be there. Next thing you know, you're further away.

Alina:

Statistically, people who commit suicide are alone.

Eldar:

There you go.

Alina:

So there are, you know. I mean, but I do know people who are alone and they are content and they do thrive in this space that's all bullshit.

Vemir:

No, it's not the biggest highlights were in relationships.

Eldar:

No I disagree, and I'll tell you a lot of people, a lot of people cannot even that's why you keep gravitating to each other people cannot even imagine a life without somebody else.

Vemir:

So because they can't even imagine it life without somebody else.

Mike:

So because they can't even imagine it. They don't know what it's like to be alone and peaceful. That's a normal phenomenon, it's not.

Vemir:

By the way.

Mike:

No, but there has to be a disclaimer, because what you're describing is you're describing a person who's sick, who doesn't have self-love.

Katherine:

This is a common issue when it's outside of your framework when it's outside of your framework, you don't understand it.

Vemir:

Therefore, you dismiss it as wrong.

John:

If you understand something, it is.

Mike:

Because, any understanding. I'm single and I've also been in unhealthy relationships because I didn't have love for myself.

Vemir:

Have you had a long period of time alone and peaceful?

Mike:

I mean past couple years I've been pretty peaceful, but like what do you consider a long time? What do?

Alina:

you consider peaceful.

Vemir:

See, you've been alone, so it's possible then why do you say you're sick if you had peaceful time alone?

Alina:

those two don't fit together sometimes it's okay to be alone by definition.

Eldar:

What are you guys talking about? Like sure, peaceful is a stage, but then there's could be like yo you could have really good time with no, he asked the question.

Vemir:

The answer is, I know, being content, I'll give you an answer. Yeah, I know. Whether I'm in a marriage, in a relationship or I'm good any Any of those, I'll be good Because I know this person is not the complete source of my happiness.

Eldar:

Money is not the complete source. I'm not even alluding to that, though I'm not even alluding that somebody else is going to fill your cup and be that guy or that person that you idolize. That's not what I'm talking about, at all Not idolize I'm saying that my self-actualization could only be completed if I'm bouncing off of someone.

Vemir:

And I don't hear any justification of why, besides your program that way, you know what I'm saying. I don't hear anything. Yeah, but that's a big one Because.

Eldar:

I'm actually aligning to what you're saying about getting closest to God, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do. What if you, as a person make the choice.

Alina:

My thing is what if you make the choice? My thing is what if you make the choice? You've already aligned with other humans and it doesn't seem to be aligning you fucked up, you got angry, you fucked up 100%.

Eldar:

No, that's the problem. You haven't figured it out you're making the connection that.

Alina:

I'm not supposed to be with another person it's. The thing is, if you're gonna be so you have to spend your whole life looking for someone that aligns with you? No, no, no, no, no, no. You have to look for yourself. You have to elevate yourself.

Mike:

Yes, you have to elevate yourself, and that's the problem.

Eldar:

People don't elevate themselves, and then you will attract an accordance to that.

Alina:

But some people love themselves so much that the idea of having someone else who is going to be subpar or not fulfill them is to elevate themselves.

Eldar:

You have to show me what that looks like.

Vemir:

That doesn't exist, but the no, no, I don't think you're getting what she's saying. She's saying love so much like what is that? The, the burned out feeling is completely, uh, common and it's something to be addressed no wash but that's two different things than being self-contained in peace and saying fuck it. Those are two different things, right, right absolutely.

Eldar:

Yeah, that sounds like an angry person who's fed up. I don't want to conflate those things there's no what I asked.

Vemir:

I asked her question.

Eldar:

I said even if you that's why she keeps gravity towards relations. She has a little break, she's in peace, and then she's still gonna want to try to chill.

Vemir:

I'm talking about a different point. I said even if you find someone who is a great match, you can still be alone and be happy and peaceful. It's not about lack of options. Do you know what I mean? Like, and then you can go into the people who are burned. Those are, those are. You could definitely do it for a period of time.

Mike:

I think.

Eldar:

I think you could do it for a period of time, but I think that everything's calling for the fact that, if you actualizing, it's inevitable for you, it's inevitable. Maybe it's for you to be able to spill over, and I would agree with that because I am literally.

Alina:

That is how I operate. I've spent time alone and I'm like all right.

Eldar:

I like being alone. You filled yourself up and now you can spill over, right? I'm like wow, okay, you can give back.

Alina:

I've enriched myself. I feel better. Now it's time to go back out there.

Eldar:

Do I want to? Die not particularly afraid of that but again, no, no, that's just her argument. That's because she hasn't thought about death as much as you did, for example. Let's just say right, but nonetheless, it's by design. They're like yo, like it'd be nicer to fucking have a partner, like it's cooler to be you know what I'm saying like that, but that's my thing.

Alina:

My thing is like yo, I'm a cool person.

Eldar:

I want to be with another person I feel the best when I fucking my happiness is shared, where we can share stuff like that's cool shit like, uh, yeah, I agree with you.

Mike:

I think like the relationship is obviously a much higher level than a friendship. But you're saying you could be okay without a relationship. Could you be happy with no friends could you reach?

Eldar:

that same level of peace if you didn't have somebody, if I have the truth, if I'm on the, island, I have no friends, okay, I'll find my peace, but if I have a choice but I have an answer.

John:

I want to have harris. A choice I want to have.

Eldar:

Harris in my life. I want to have Alina, I want to have everybody in my life. The more the fucking marriage was fucking great Hanging out with you guys. That is true. You know what I'm saying.

Vemir:

But, eldar, I have an answer he asked like, without people you to kind of bridge the two together. You are doing a disservice by having the gift of awareness and love and not sharing it with others.

Alina:

That's part of the beauty. That's what I'm saying, that's what he's saying.

Vemir:

This is what I'm saying, however romantic relationships are a completely different type of engagement.

Eldar:

Well, that's because you haven't seen my relationship yet.

Vemir:

No, I'm saying they're different in nature to friends, parents, right? No, no.

Eldar:

Only those who know know.

Alina:

You know what I'm saying, bob's in this.

Eldar:

It's not what I'm saying Touched it without being gay, though. No, but their relationship, but again this is

Toliy:

my thing Going back to what I was saying. Good morning Harris.

Eldar:

Good morning, harris Hola.

John:

Harris.

Vemir:

How you feeling over there? I'm not jumping in on this conversation. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that romantic relationships have its own formula.

John:

Different than friends.

Mike:

The thing is, again we're talking about wrong ones. We're talking about people arriving at bad relationships and blaming the relationship or blaming something else that's not the truth. That's why I asked in the beginning.

Vemir:

What level do you want to go? You want to talk about society.

Mike:

I want everything, or do you want to talk about?

John:

the ultimate form.

Vemir:

At the highest level. There are two things right. I'll go to the very highest. When you become enlightened, do it with the hands like that.

Mike:

With the pronouncing he's so bad. Hair is getting longer by the second. You have to rub your beard. I'm there, so basically.

Vemir:

The leprechaun man. So when you become enlightened, one of two things happens. The first one is that you explode out of your body, right, you just ascend into the whatever ew, that's just boring what are we talking about?

Eldar:

we're gonna try to translate it into ascending to where are? We ascending to we to translate it into what language are we sending to we'll?

Vemir:

translate it in a second stay with me the second option is you stay in your body and then you are a guru. You provide your wisdom to the world. Buddha, jesus, sadhu, whatever else, harris, thank you he's a guru we're talking

Vemir:

about dying and ascending, I think I think it's a nice analogy to the two ways that you can share your peace. I think that maybe we're saying the same thing. If you are a evolved person, you can become a monk, you can become, you know, a leader in the society, and maybe being uh chast and without a partner may uh allow you to have more time and energy to do so. Or you can become a wise family man or woman and you can build your corner. That is beautiful and I think both exist. I'm not playing down any of the importance of romantic relationships. I'm saying that there are more than one role. If every man has to be with every woman, there are people that will be outliers, and I'm not talking about outliers in terms of delusion and unhappiness and stuff. I'm saying that at the highest levels. To me, it appears that there are two pathways yeah, fine, I'm okay with that.

Eldar:

So, yeah, you explained it properly. Yeah, I agree, I agree with that. Sure, if that, yeah, there's definitely is. I mean, I mean there's definitely, and so there's room for everything, obviously, and there's, I think there's a level of development when it comes to all these things. You know what I mean and, like I said to me, at least from where I'm standing, uh, the highest form has been me having the ability to not be only Eldar by himself, at peace, or knowing my own shit, but also to be able to share it with someone who fucks with it and gives it back as well.

Eldar:

Right, and they teach you something and yeah, and it's just. It's just been fireworks, it's been great and that's why I'm still here with her. I've been together for so long and like we keep saying like yeah, we want to keep fucking with each other, like yeah, because it's cool, it's good, it's nice. You know, if it wasn't healthy, it's healthy, it's nice.

Vemir:

So can we agree, casual sex is nowhere in that conversation, absolutely not Depends who you ask.

Eldar:

Oh, no, no, no, trained, yeah, absolutely not like casual sex is definitely not. However, if I assess the situation, I see that the individual is not ready for something stronger. Casual sex is 100 a thing.

Vemir:

Why would you take advantage of them? Because you're I'm just playing devil's advocate. Allow me to just do that. Yeah, you are more wise knowing that having sex while falling in love.

Eldar:

Yeah, right, so yeah, because you're not. If you're not, if you're not deserving yet of that level, you're why are you engaging in them when the deepest, most sacred thing?

Mike:

Because a part of it is understanding. As the guru, let's just say that you have to understand that I'm not there yet. I'm just asking the question. The person has their own path and you are not God to predict how them having casual sex may lead them to the truth.

Vemir:

But if you know better, why would you do something that is lower than what you're?

Mike:

doing.

Eldar:

No, you're not doing it.

Vemir:

You might be advising for it, but you would not have sex with them. Yeah, because you're not there, I got confused. You wouldn't have sex with them, no no, no, you wouldn't do it but you might advise someone who's?

Eldar:

like yo, you gotta go road dog.

Vemir:

some of these girls you he might be actually projected to get A's and die, and that's okay. Life is not long enough to fuck up so many times like that what am I fucking up right now?

Alina:

he's gonna reincarnate it's not about being tested sometimes I wanna feel close to a woman, so you mean sticking your dick inside of a girl is not close.

Eldar:

Let's go from. No, he wants to feel more. Oh, you wanna feel more. You know what I mean. No, no, come on man, oh you want to feel more. Yeah.

John:

Let me put it this way okay. I haven't been in a relationship.

Eldar:

Yeah, you tell him, God oh my God, holy shit, where you going now.

Vemir:

So you don't want to.

Eldar:

No, it's not that. Seven years in Tibet, you said.

John:

It's got to be seven years I haven't been in a relationship.

Alina:

Wait a minute, so she needed to hop to your shit.

John:

No, you got to understand. I was in the shelter for 12 fucking months. I've been to the alone spot you were talking about. I was alone. That's gay.

Toliy:

Bro, I was alone.

John:

I was fucking miserable. I, gay bro, I was alone. I was fucking miserable, I fucking hated it. Oh, that's not. Uh, no, I get what you're saying, but I guess I haven't been ready to fucking settle down and actually open up my fucking heart. Oh, after that shit.

Alina:

So you're, you're willing to so you need to build it, Wait you're willing to actually impregnate a woman because understand that that is what you're doing.

John:

Well, most of the chicks I've banged like that have said they're on birth control, so I go with it. That doesn't mean shit.

Vemir:

That doesn't mean anything. What are you really doing?

Eldar:

Right, so maybe not pregnant, but he's making sure that he continues his life.

Alina:

What you're doing is you're.

Eldar:

His legacy.

Katherine:

You're literally putting yourself at harm's way directly because that's what it is.

Alina:

It's a direct harm's way, just so that you can have a good feeling.

Eldar:

No, but that's the thing, what we talked about just now, alina what we talk about sometimes, this is exactly what he needs, because that's what he's at in life. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Vemir:

This is perfectly okay, it's an explanation, right.

Eldar:

Yes, sometimes I need to feel good, it's an explanation, it's not an excuse.

John:

A lot of my life there hasn't been a lot of good in my fucking life.

Vemir:

I'm here to tell you my.

Alina:

I mean she's stepping outside the box of seeing, like if he wakes up one day, he's got a crazy ass.

Eldar:

You know, pimple on his dick. What if your dick falls off? Yeah, exactly that might be the lesson that he needs to learn.

Vemir:

I don't understand. It's not like a go out every weekend.

Katherine:

You don't need to go out every weekend.

Alina:

It can be that good chance I disagree with this fundamentally.

John:

No but he might learn through that and he might evolve as an individual. Right now he's on stage like an animal, like a dog.

Alina:

You know what I'm saying? How can you jump over that? You have to push until you know they can. You're living up prematurely.

Vemir:

You're saying there's no way that he can figure it out.

Eldar:

How many times?

Mike:

have your parents pushed you.

Eldar:

Everybody has their own threshold.

Vemir:

I have changed people's threshold with a conversation.

Eldar:

Sure, but you're not always available, man. I'm just saying that people don't push enough.

Vemir:

I will go until I know that they can't.

Eldar:

You're guessing that he can't, you won't adopt him. You know that's what it's going to take, can I?

Vemir:

afford him? I don't know.

Eldar:

How much do you charge? $400. How much?

Mike:

is the credit card bill $800? We'll cover that.

Alina:

There is an enlightenment that you have to. It's not so much that we're trying to change you or negate you from thinking the way that you're thinking, or whatever the case may be, but you really have to be in tune with yourself and understand that is this really your form of happiness?

Mike:

Yeah, are you?

Eldar:

willing to risk this Banging bitches man. What's up? Man in the city like I'm not gonna lie this chick here was probably.

John:

How big was her thing? Hold up, bro, this was fuck off. This was probably the first chick I banged in about a year why you gotta say it like that right, and so now you gotta think about it.

Alina:

You were inebriated. This girl came from wherever the fuck she came from her fucking voice was absolutely beautiful. And that's all you cared about.

Vemir:

Just hearing her was like one answer to your question. I'm trying to hold it. One answer to your question is pornography today is a huge negative influence on society? I don't think so at all.

Alina:

No, I don't think so at all.

Vemir:

Let's talk about it. I don't think that porn is a bad thing I do.

Alina:

I don't think that porn is a bad thing. No such thing as good or bad.

Vemir:

I just want to put that. Okay, I think it's unhealthy.

Alina:

No shit unhealthy I don't think that porn is a bad thing.

Eldar:

I think that anything done overly is unhealthy, just because, just like it's like guns, they're good or bad. No, we don't know who's holding the gun right. Drugs good or bad? Oh, we don't know how much you're taking.

Vemir:

So what do you find that's positive in porn?

Alina:

Shit. I think this is another topic. I think that porn actually no.

Vemir:

I'm not talking about your abilities and experience in real life. I didn't do the study.

Eldar:

I didn't do the study. However, I think porn okay prevents a lot of suicides and prevents a lot of school shootings. You heard it here first.

Alina:

I also think porn helps, if you integrate into your relationship, less cheating it also allows the person or the people in the relationship?

Vemir:

no, it isn't. You should just not cheat, because you have integrity.

Katherine:

I agree with that. It's not because of porn.

Vemir:

I don't think porn is going to be the savior not by any measure.

Alina:

that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that if your spouse, your person, is like, hey, I like watching porn, I don't think that you should have the attitude where you're like, oh, that's fucking disgusting. Or like, how you said, like you have no self-control, or no, I'm saying to avoid cheating.

Vemir:

That means that you don't have self-control. You need something else to tame the beast rather than your own self-control.

Alina:

I'm not talking about a judgmental sphere of you're a bad person for watching porn or judging?

Vemir:

your partner measure, so I I think it's just uh unhealthy, like I don't think it's good for your brain oh, taking the one train is unhealthy too, but hey, I do it every day, would you rather? Have a better option?

Eldar:

yes, well what do you? What's another option?

Alina:

than porn. You know what I'm saying cheat or watch porn.

Vemir:

Yeah, yeah, yeah see that's, that's like that's a problem. Porn is a.

Eldar:

I think it's a natural phenomena that happens based on where we're at as people yeah, I mean it's disgusting at times, just like of course, I would love for people all to be in love and experience what me and cat experience.

Vemir:

But the truth of the matter is they all have suicide cases yeah, but they're nasty fucks.

Alina:

They choose to be getting dicked down like so you're watching the nasty, why would you pay attention?

John:

I mean I'm gonna be honest sometimes you know it'd be a little spicy in the relationship. I'm not doing no fucking porn that that's like a very you should if you want to be doing all that nasty shit get paid for it, bro, it's not like.

Alina:

I take your shirt off right now I'm just saying I'm saying if you're willing to do this with the Irish girls, get paid for it. Do it with some random bitches and they all got accents, they're actresses.

Vemir:

I'm not talking about being vanilla either sense they're actresses. I'm not talking about v and vanilla either. You can be a freak and not watch porn. I'm talking about the use of it in society, but I still I don't understand again.

John:

I think it's the same thing as the use of anything it's the drugs the

Vemir:

guns, the porn drugs. It seems clearly not good for you no, but again.

Mike:

Is the porn bad or is the way that people use porn?

Vemir:

bad. What is the right way to use porn? Addiction to it maybe bad or well it way that people use porn bad.

Katherine:

What is the right way to use porn. Addiction to it may be bad. Well, it's the default today.

Vemir:

I'm just telling you from experience.

Alina:

So masturbating is bad.

Vemir:

I think that it's useless.

Alina:

Masturbating. Wait, what do the people do that are by themselves, that are happy they don't?

Eldar:

play with it. They don't fiddle the diddle, it's been scientifically proven. Get closer, don't touch it like that though it's been scientifically proven.

Vemir:

You are following a study that you're about to say.

Eldar:

Let her finish and stop, please. No, I know what he's going to say there's been a study that ejaculating a certain amount of times a week is healthy for your prostate.

Vemir:

It's bullshit Because there's no studies of people who don't ejaculate. Do you understand that those people?

Alina:

who don't ejaculate are mad those are the ones that are fucking grabbing people up, and no, no, no, you're talking about school shooters. No, no, no.

Vemir:

You see what I'm saying this is the point I wanted to make. Is that what you just said is that people who don't right, they it's built up and then they take it out on people? Yeah, that is from the wrong uh framework, because they they still have the lust, desire not after they jizz.

Eldar:

Not true at all.

Vemir:

So you're wait, wait, wait. Let me make my point. So you're just talking about cucking yourself so that you don't go rape someone. That's another. Whoa, whoa, it's another, it's a preventative measure, the thing is porn can amplify that and you can perform bad acts in society and take advantage of women through that. I'm not saying it's just pornography. Right but it's not the problem of you're not getting some. It's about your own awareness. That's a deeper level I've never it seems impossible.

Vemir:

There are things like Sharia law. There are Muslim countries where it's illegal to have they should not be integrated in this conversation.

John:

How are some aspiring?

Vemir:

piss-peeks, fuck you, there's still there's still things that go on even though it's illegal right, because it's from the desire to use somebody for your own pleasure. That is a problem.

John:

You're not considering them, you're a rapist dog as a human? What the fuck? I mean, I've been hanging out with this guy.

Mike:

I mean hold hold up, hold up, hold up.

John:

I watched.

Vemir:

I'm going to bring up a topic. What are you watching? Fuck off. I'm talking from experience.

John:

I've came from all of that. I went through all the stages. I'm not going out there and doing some sick fucking shit yeah but you are having casual sex and fucking and leaving. So am I going over there and doing something fucking crazy?

Alina:

No, but that is You're and fucking and leaving. Am I going over there?

Eldar:

and doing something fucking crazy.

Alina:

You're doing a very. It's a casual, it's a precursor to integrating those negative behaviors.

Vemir:

It's like, narcissistic. Also, I'm not judging while saying this, because I went through like I said. I went through every stage. He used to be nasty like you. I'm still a little crazy, but it's like, like you. He has a lot of different it I'm still a little crazy, but it's like okay, but it's like it comes from. Like you like pink fireworks too.

John:

I didn't know better fuck you, you're never gonna fucking. Let me live that down, no.

Vemir:

I didn't know better, right, I guess you could say was addicted and then. I felt like something was dying inside of me. Nobody told me good or bad. Just inside of me Natural process.

Eldar:

Dying is also a natural process.

Vemir:

No, I was losing something in me. I didn't feel authentic doing it. Nobody told me there were no studies or whatever. And then I just slowly, over the course of years, let it go. I noticed my relationships got better. My non-romantic relationships with women got better, more respect for myself yeah you have a whole theory about being friends with girls and shit.

Eldar:

That's wild yeah, I have a lot of friends, all these hot girls that he's friends with and shit and he's digging hard they can't believe that you can be friends with a girl like it's like all these hot girls, impossible.

John:

Let me ask you a question.

Alina:

I don't know. I have some hot guy friends and I don't want to fuck with them. Are you one?

John:

of those guys that if you break up with an ex, you can be best friends with her.

Katherine:

I'm not.

John:

I'm not one of those guys of anything.

Vemir:

I'm not one of those guys of anything and I think that it's childish to, unless it's super toxic, to break up with somebody that you like and cut them off. Fuck that person. It's your fault for getting into a relationship, I agree with you like I agree with you in that so I have relationships that are what x is, that I don't.

Alina:

I don't talk to them like on that level for reasons, but I'm saying we still have conversations, we have dealings with each other. They're completely platonic, very mature and it and it's not like oh hey, I want to fucking jump your bones right now.

John:

You know what I mean. That's the problem with my ex that has the five real fun.

Vemir:

This is another part of the social dynamic. Guys and girls are so separated that they can't imagine spending time together, unless it's sexual Right.

Alina:

And.

Vemir:

I'm not anti-sex. It's like one of my favorite things in the world.

Katherine:

Yeah, hell yeah one of my favorite things in the world. Yeah, hell. Yeah, just in the right context. Let me just say, as an adult, I love to fuck.

Vemir:

Thank you for sharing. Guys, if we take a spectrum, tell me if you agree with this On the spectrum. I think the best sex is when you're in love.

Alina:

Absolutely 1000%.

Vemir:

The other side of that is.

Alina:

I'm going to tell you one thing, catherine cannot jerk me off better than I. Absolutely 1000%, I mean. There's no better thing than that. We were just talking about.

Eldar:

But, however, I'm gonna tell you one thing Catherine cannot jerk me off better than I can jerk myself off on record well, that's a comment.

Vemir:

No, that's a comment.

Eldar:

Facts that's for every guy.

Alina:

Tell me otherwise when you were saying the masturbating thing. Like I gotta tell you you missed me with that.

Eldar:

Like I need to.

Alina:

Well, she's not available sometimes I gotta yeah as a person like no again.

Vemir:

You don't really need, and no, no, I'm telling you today like I'm.

Alina:

I'm being honest. I'm being honest I there are times where I'm like I I need to masturbate and I don't need to have my. I don't need to. I don't feel nasty about it, I don't feel indifferent about it.

Vemir:

I feel like this was great yeah, I think it's also different between women and men the, the experience why do women give you get the pass and the men don't? Um, I don't have all the answers, but it is materially different is it because men don't know how to eat the box? No, no, no, it's not different that way, in that the way you receive pleasure from a guy or by yourself, right, because you guys, you guys, don't you miss the. G spot I'm talking about. Yeah, most guys, not Harris 45 minute bull.

Eldar:

He's a fucking bull.

John:

He's a bull from Nebraska.

Alina:

Bro, you're taking your uterus out. You know what I'm saying. You want me to show you the text, bro? No, no, no.

Katherine:

Show me the text. We can't have a conversation.

John:

She's in a relationship right now, but we cannot have a conversation without a term like fucking sexual. It just fucking goes. We cannot be around each other Wow.

Eldar:

You understand this Everybody getting wet In that white closet. I mean I got so many, everybody I got.

John:

We were in a different fucking state and we're fucking sending each other fucking nude pictures this is the bitch.

Alina:

You need to marry Trans international. You know what I'm saying? You need to marry her Transatlantic.

Eldar:

Show the picture to Leon.

Vemir:

But the thing is I think I don't have like. This is controversial. I think guys lose like because they're releasing something. I thought I was going to marry you. They lose their power.

Eldar:

But women bleed every month.

Vemir:

No, that's not comparable. Why not In terms of when you have release right? We're talking about masturbation. It's a different thing, I think.

Alina:

Okay, no, so if I masturbate, that means that I'm not going to be inclined or turned on or less sexual.

Vemir:

I don't think that's true, right. If my man is like hey, I want to. No, absolutely not.

Alina:

But for guys, I think guys um or what if a woman likes when her her?

Vemir:

guys lose, something. What if some power?

Mike:

it's also proven by science, but that's one kind of sad guru thing I got you wait.

Alina:

But what if you're? What if you're? You're with your spouse, you're about to have sex and the woman is like I want to see you jerk, jerk, your oh shit, that's different.

Vemir:

You guys are having, uh, you guys are having a thing. It's like again you said with your partner you watch porn.

Toliy:

So fetish is okay.

Vemir:

With your partner.

Eldar:

You know any kink, anything you want to do I think is great, it's okay. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying alone masturbation is not okay. I'm not saying not okay is a rule.

Mike:

I'm saying for me it's completely useless. Don't get Harris too excited, guys. You know what I'm saying. Harris, put the phone away. I'm just going to say this.

John:

Kink can go too far Like this ex.

Mike:

I just showed you Okay, I'm coming over there.

Eldar:

She likes being fucking choked.

John:

I'm talking choke. Bring the handcuffs.

Alina:

Okay.

Vemir:

Why is it being a?

Alina:

rest. Also, scientifically, that heightens the orgasm, so maybe that's why she likes it.

John:

I've been warned by everyone don't fucking do it, because if you piss her off one day she'll call the cops like hey, this dude.

Vemir:

Well, that means you don't trust each other.

Alina:

You're batting a thousand If she's going to call the cops.

John:

She never called the cops on me. It was actually my boss that told me fucking cut it out.

Alina:

Wow, you had this conversation with your boss that you were choking out your raw dog and choking out your bitch.

John:

He called me in because we both worked at the same fucking place.

Alina:

I was her boss oh shit, you understand, this is a web that's a power that's illegal.

Eldar:

That is illegal. Actually, you were fucking your co-worker. We're arresting him right now. If you're in a position of authority like a teacher or a boss. It is illegal we have to arrest him right now?

John:

for a teacher, yeah, not for a boss, do not hear this podcast.

Alina:

Harris is going to jail. Yeah, harris is going to jail. He wants that kind of thing he likes this we're going to have to report you.

Vemir:

She was actually seven years older than me so she's older than you, so she's going to jail no, no, no, she's not in a position of authority oh my god, regardless, like, regardless, like, I mean, she was 20. I'm trying to give the right framework because it is. It is out of the normal discourse.

Alina:

I don't think masturbating is unhealthy.

Mike:

It's only going to be bad in the wrong hands and it's only going to be good in the good hands. That's right, that's how it is, for not just for masturbation, for everything Drugs, cigarettes overindulgence. Is food bad? No, we need to survive, but people it's bad.

Vemir:

I'm also like an extreme or intense person, so I'm talking from my experience. I'm not talking about rules for society. You're a sick person, man. No, I understand.

Alina:

You were beating your meat aggressively Every hour on the hour.

Eldar:

Oh okay, Every hour on the hour.

Vemir:

I think as a base, I'm a hypersexual guy. I think as a base, I'm a hyper sexual guy. Yeah.

Alina:

But having self-control over that has given me untold benefits. Well, most men don't operate from that self-control love. They will have a wife at home and they will go outside and fuck a he-she just to get their dick wet.

Vemir:

So we're talking about what the average person does, and that's society. And then that's why I asked you want to talk about the ideal I does. That's society. That's why I asked you want to talk about the ideal. There's two different conversations.

Mike:

By the way, this is important for Harris, by the way on this journey that I told you all the different stages.

Vemir:

The girls are the most attractive right now for me, the ones that I'm engaging with. The abundance mindset is really important for that. When you say, or you say, or anybody says, there ain't shit out there, right, that's your problem.

Vemir:

There is an abundant amount of smart, talented, beautiful, intelligent compassionate great you have to be the person that deserves it and you have to then get in the room and they will all be there for you, because they're looking at you and they're already pre-filtering you out, because they have awareness and they're at a level of quality.

Katherine:

So you have to be, qualified?

Mike:

Yeah, but how do you find?

Vemir:

these people you have to become the person.

Eldar:

You gotta be that person that can be irresistible, Okay.

Alina:

So let me ask you a question If you reach that point and you get that negative energy because this person is a scammer or a con artist.

Vemir:

You will have the awareness to filter them out and not engage. Of course it's going to be natural.

Eldar:

If you have that discretion, Alina's like damn, I'm a bad judge of character.

Alina:

Bro, like I need to get you to ship me to Mars because I have been. I think I'm pretty intelligent, I think I've been in tune with myself and I've made some pretty poor judge of characters because at the forefront of things, these people seemed amazing.

Eldar:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the thing you haven't explored the fact that you are a buzzer and you get too excited, too quick.

Alina:

No, no, I'm aware of it. I'm aware of it now.

Vemir:

How quickly did you dive into these people that eventually betrayed?

Alina:

you as quick as possible. I'm to say maybe give it a year or two.

Vemir:

A lightning speed. So after two years something came out. Yes, do you think it's something that was completely under the radar, or you might have picked up?

Alina:

on it earlier. I definitely picked up on it earlier.

Vemir:

So you saw it but you kind of had this optimistic. Right, that's the thing you get signals for a reason, and when you put them to the side, they don't stay there. Yeah, no, absolutely, and so having that immediate discretion and paying attention to the input you're getting. For me it's been very useful because I avoid problems Right. My standards are not unrealistic, but they are very high.

Eldar:

They should be, I think they should be If you're serious about any type of relationship, especially with other people. The standard is supposed to are very high, and they should be. I think they should be.

Vemir:

If you're serious about any type of relationship, especially with other people, the standard is supposed to be very once you look at people through their character like you have to get to get in the door, you have to be attractive. After that, once you evaluate their character, then you have the power to make the decision you're not what is attractive.

Alina:

What do you mean?

Vemir:

like I mean, I'm saying that in order for me to go anywhere even the first level they have to be attractive to me, okay, and then I'm doing some people are just no some people are just not qualified for me to engage with right and then, like, you judge their character and then you're not being pulled by the attraction only Then you're not making a stupid decision or going into something that you shouldn't be. Right, ideally Right. I make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes, but ideally you go and you judge their character. Then you can be ready to commit and it's more self-respect, I agree, and I think that's a really healthy way to engage, rather than the hyper like and then you end up falling on your ass again and again and again.

Alina:

Right, yes, this is true, because I understand that it has happened to me A lot of times.

Mike:

I guess the reason maybe is we get buzzed up.

Alina:

We get excited about because we see something that we see, another person that we crave for ourselves. I have a funny story, yeah that is true.

Mike:

That is very true.

Eldar:

I only speak facts. Sounds like we have a couple of offenders here.

John:

Yes.

Alina:

You know the fucking vibes Mike, Mike knows.

Mike:

He stepped in the same puddle.

Vemir:

That happened to me. I fell in love with a girl. I wanted to marry her within a month.

Eldar:

I fell in love with a girl and I married her within a week.

Vemir:

Right there, that's great. I wanted to say why I fumbled or not fumbled, but like it was this infatuation, because she.

Eldar:

Is that when you were jerking off 10 times a day?

Vemir:

No, no, no 10 times a day.

John:

What?

Vemir:

the fuck it was post-cranking. You know what I'm saying.

Mike:

Post-cranking yeah. So, post-clarity right Post-clarity.

Vemir:

What was the point I was trying to make? Basically, you fumbled the bag. You said no, no, no. It back, you said no, no, no, we. It blew up. But she had all the criteria super well educated, she was a model she was my like damn family, culture.

Eldar:

Genetic can give. Give it a run all of the criteria really really interesting.

Vemir:

but the thing is, um, after, after a while it didn't work out. We didn't even kiss, we were just really intensely into each other, like building in some crazy way, and then it blew up. All of her demons came out and it just like didn't work and I was like she was educated in the wrong things.

Vemir:

You're saying, but what I realized is my friend. She's a PhD psychologist and we had a conversation about this and she told me Vermeer, the way you're describing her and the way she behaves, it's almost like it's two different people In that you have created an ideal, and actually who she is right now is what happened. So, I was like and like something rewired in me, and so I try to see people now for exactly who they are rather than who I want them to be my friend, said never marry potential.

Eldar:

Okay, okay. This is a very big problem in this whole society and I'm about to solve everybody's problems. Everybody's going to have a lot more sex and a lot more relationships. What he said right there is the biggest culprit of today's society.

Katherine:

Yes.

Alina:

Agree, you hit it on the nose I learned my lesson.

Eldar:

No, no, no, hit it on the nose. I learned my lesson, but this is a very big problem.

Alina:

It's a major problem, a major problem.

Vemir:

Because you get disappointed off of something crazy.

Alina:

You're not even going through the situation properly.

Mike:

You're not even marrying a potential. It's something that you created for yourself. That doesn't exist.

Alina:

It's a fairy tale. It's non-existent.

Eldar:

However, the problem I'm trying to say is what he said afterwards. What is he trying to do now?

Vemir:

Seeking.

Eldar:

You see that that's the problem I'm talking about. What do you mean? Okay, this is the problem that I'm talking about. You gotta see someone accurately right now I'm explaining to you why this is the biggest problem in the world of relationships right now. Seeing things for what they are in people is not an accurate representation of who they are. Anyway, you know why.

Vemir:

You know why because as soon as you introduce a variable, like an irresistible bull like me from jersey, right, fuck you, they start dancing no to your tune, of course you understand this or no, but you have to pay attention at the same time you can influence them. That's what I'm saying, 100% yes, those are not separate issues.

Eldar:

No, no, no, no no, this is a big one. A lot of times people get into relationships not out of empowerment, okay, but out of like I want to check a box.

Katherine:

Or loneliness, if I saw.

Vemir:

Catherine for what? She was, I would never be with her you have to see them first, from who they are. No, no, no, no, I was young.

Katherine:

I was, yeah, I was insecure insecure, young anxiety problems, walls.

Eldar:

I had to work down my stuff, yeah no, no, no, no, no. I think that this is the biggest problem that if you start, seeing if those are fixable things you can build on it.

Vemir:

The problem is a lot of people get stuck on that.

Eldar:

Right they're on this fucking like I'm independent woman, shit, and I'm going to see things for what they are. Yo, how much you making? How much is this? What is this? What car you?

Vemir:

driving. That's not what I'm saying no.

Eldar:

but I'm just giving you an example of very vague, fucking stupid you know, materialistic stuff, but that's where people get stuck, so they never true love correct. You gotta really think about. Yes, all I knew that katherine had respect. She was, she was raised right and she seemed respectful and I was like I can work with it. This is great. Like she saw me for what I was and she allowed me to be myself we're saying the same thing no, no, no, we're not, we are for sure.

Eldar:

No, we're not, no, we're not. I think that you, you diminish the value of other individual by saying that, seeing them for whatever it is. And a lot of times, if we all look at our shit, we're all fucking flawed.

John:

I'm not saying we're all flawed.

Alina:

And we'll never, be in our own relationship with ourselves, judgmental eye, never, you understand, I definitely understand.

Vemir:

But you're telling me I shouldn't see people for who they are. It doesn't make sense.

Eldar:

No, because you're supposed to see and balance your ability of what you are capable of in the relationship. Those are both true, okay, but what I'm saying is that you should lean on the empowerment. What I'm saying is that when you start seeing things for what they are, you're going to get a lot of discouragement. You're going to get discouraged yeah, that's when you're going to start Listen. Yeah.

Alina:

This is true I was in a relationship and I didn't see those things. I saw the potential, I seen the bigger picture and then when I saw the person for who they were, I was like oh my God.

Vemir:

I fucked up my whole life.

Alina:

I fucked up my whole life you know what I'm saying and then I had to really disengage and get in tune with myself and the values that I wanted and what I held true to me, and then I started aligning that with the people that I was with influencing them positively not even influencing them.

Eldar:

It was a natural ebb, and flow, because I was already there well, that's what he's talking about also attracting the right people. See that when you were there, you were attracting the right people already. I did attract. That's also a point.

Alina:

But also if I got into a relationship let's say, for example, the relationship I'm in now if I got into it because of who he was, then that would be I'm into the relationship with him because there was a connection initially and it was amazing and from there we're able to build on that. That's right.

Eldar:

It's anxiety he has flaws, I have flaws. We're both fucked up. It's not from a judgmental perspective.

Vemir:

It is no. No, the way you put it was very judgmental. Then I reassess it and I'm saying have the awareness to see reality rather than 100, just this ideal you.

Eldar:

You have to understand that what I'm introducing is that you need to build together based off no, no, no, no, no it's, it is inevitable true and it's. It is inevitable. When you introduce two people in the same room, they become different people. It's inevitable for them to start changing right, because when you buy yourself, you buy yourself, but as soon as you introduce a girl or a guy, whatever boom. All of a sudden you're a different person. You watch the way they interact with other people.

Vemir:

You watch the way they treat their parents.

Eldar:

You watch the way that they interact with the waiter and all that is shiftable, all that becomes all of a sudden.

Vemir:

Because someone could love bomb you, and that's a really good thing. And then you realize that outside of that thing they are not nice to other people.

Eldar:

That's something important to pay attention to 100%, 100%. But what I'm saying is that if you're empowered and you see certain things that you don't like, for example, you have the ability to see.

Vemir:

To change them. Help them. Help them see things for what they are.

Eldar:

I don't know if it's coming off of abrasive. I think we're saying well, no because yeah it is.

Vemir:

I'm not judging a person. I think that's what I'm saying you're assessing them for who they are.

Eldar:

That's important all of the parts of no, no, no, but assessing. What are you doing by assessing?

Vemir:

you're seeing what their base intention, what, what's the reason for assessment, so that you don't have blindness based on your impression of who they are. It's not supposed to be your pre-programmed ideal of them. It's supposed to be who they actually are. And then this connection that you said will change, and in a positive way.

Eldar:

In accordance to who. Who's going to change that, who's going to influence that Both of you with love.

Vemir:

Sure, I mean what you're saying, I agree with, but. I don't know where the. I don't think we have a difference.

Eldar:

I'm trying to figure out where I think there is a big difference.

Vemir:

Like you're saying you shouldn't see people for they are. No, no, I am. I'm saying that this is not the way you should make your decision based on that. You know what I'm saying? No, I'm not saying qualify like like, uh, rejecting them based on a flaw.

Eldar:

Yeah, I'm not saying you reject because they have one flaw or not give them a chance, or something like that.

Vemir:

Okay, I'm saying that you should see their flaws, see their positive attributes. What then? You have to see the whole picture. No, you don't.

Alina:

I don't understand you can't see the whole thing you can try.

Eldar:

Thank you, no, you cannot. You cannot, it's irrelevant.

Alina:

That picture is irrelevant right, because you got to think about this. Are you the same person that you?

Eldar:

were no, no right, so no I'm not saying it's permanent yes, we're constantly evolving and if you are empowered too much baggage you'll no, no it doesn't matter.

Vemir:

Sometimes the baggage doesn't it doesn't, doesn't listen.

Eldar:

I know a lot of people that have baggage.

Alina:

That baggage don't mean shit sometimes they don't even integrate that baggage. Sometimes I don't even have the knowledge of their back.

Vemir:

Sometimes, sometimes, yeah, it's, it's just best to have as much information no, I don't think so no, sometimes no no thank you, thank you, yes, that's that's what I'm leaning towards.

Eldar:

You don't want your spouse to have the notion, oh shit, let's say for example, they don't even, they might not even be able to take that in right, I'm not.

Alina:

I'm taking it real, real far. But let's say, for example, you you're with your, with your girlfriend, right, and she tells you I was raped as a kid. That may rub you the wrong way yeah, you don't.

Eldar:

Might not know how to deal with that.

Alina:

I don't want to have a child with this woman. I don't want to do this. She's fucked up like I don't want to do that and that may reset the love that you have for her, because she felt that she was able to open up to you and tell you this.

Alina:

This traumatic thing happened to me. And now, because she got comfortable with you, here you are, are and in turn you're like you're damaged goods. I don't want to fuck with you. So you know, sometimes it's better to omit certain things and not release all this information at the forefront.

Eldar:

That's right.

Alina:

Because it may cause more damage.

Eldar:

But over time you can. But over time you can as you develop, as you were able to pull that kind of information.

Vemir:

you can do it, but we're saying the everything about each other.

Eldar:

Bye, alina. Alina Harris said he likes your tattoos.

John:

Oh shut up, harris, watch your number.

Alina:

He's going crazy, Harris.

Eldar:

Thank you, Alina his name is not Harris, it's the New Jersey bull, a bull from New Jersey.

John:

He just actually read the text. That's why he's saying that he's the bull from New Jersey. Bye, bye. Should I read the text into this, alright?

Eldar:

let's get to the. You did not want to jump over the line. Now we can actually talk.

John:

Why? Because the women and girls are got Should I read the text into this, Mike.

Vemir:

You just said something at the end that's like, eventually, you do want to know everything about each other.

Eldar:

No, you don't Eventually. No, it doesn't. I'm saying eventually, you'll start introducing certain things.

Vemir:

Sure, if the person has the ability. Her example is important. If you had a traumatic experience, it influences you in the future. If you don't figure it out, if you don't integrate, it 100%, 100%.

Eldar:

But what love?

Vemir:

love has the ability to transcend everything. Yeah, however, people in society take that approach and they're not prepared. Well, sure, I want to. And then they, they, they think we'll figure everything out, but they're not capable yet to do that. Yeah, and then it blows up sure, what you're saying is when you're prepared to fight the good fight and you're both committed, and whatever flaws you have can be overcome. I was yes.

Eldar:

Well, this is different than how it's going I was going off of the fact that if you're the individual who are empowered, which you're trying to present into this thing, right, you should supposed to be aware and I agree with that 100, you should be right but you shouldn't have that as a deterrent from actually actualizing what it is that you're trying to push. And, at the end of the day, I think that if your guy is strong about his, we're trying to push and at the end of the day, I think that if your guy is strong about his, we're trying to oppress the woman into a relationship that we want. You know what I'm saying? Like we're trying to brainwash them into our dream, right, and a lot of times they're following us towards that dream. Is this what I'm saying? Whether or not they have a choice in the matter, that's irrelevant.

Vemir:

I want to say something about that. Someone said this like originally the framework. If we're talking about original structures, let's say in a Christian nation, you would be towards God and then you'd have a family to point your wife towards God. Right, you are the messenger towards the highest, so your relationship with him, the highest, is the most important and your job is to bring her there constantly. It's not about you and her. The top of the chapel is God.

Eldar:

And in Christian countries. Jesus Christ. That's a very good point. I didn't even know that, but why is that the case? Why do you have to bring her there?

Vemir:

Because got that strength, that plan, that execution. That's the traditional male and female role?

Eldar:

why do you bring in her? Why did you stay there by yourself?

Vemir:

well, these are. What are these different pathways that I was saying? Paul, uh, was it paul? I said paul the apostle. He said that if you are solo, you have more time to worship god, be with god, pray and become enlightened or become Christ-like in the Christian context. So when you're with a family, if you have that inclination to build a family and have a wife and have companionship, it's the same role, but it's with others and both are up there. That's why they have priests who are unmarried and priests that are married. Both can serve in a very healthy function. Sure, definitely can.

Vemir:

So I don't think that they conflict. I think it's based on who you're born to be If you're born to be monk-like or you're born to be a leader in society, and maybe there's a hybridization and maybe there's a hybridization. So I think that the common like if you were to take a percentage, I would say like maybe five, or ideally, if everybody was either picking those two paths five or 10% are going solo. 90%, 95% are building a family and pointing them towards the highest right. There you go. Those two are both beautiful in their own ways. So I'm not discriminating.

Eldar:

We're not going to judge you if you become the cat lady, right, harrison?

Vemir:

no, we're not okay but the thing is cat ladies, they got burned out.

John:

They're like yeah no, they haven't figured it out.

Vemir:

There's a cat lady she's a cat lady, and dudes who are slanging for 10 years, I think, developed really dark traits right, they learn how to manipulate girls to get what they want and then they drop yeah, I just want to future future is the best the rapper future.

Eldar:

That's the best he is accepted.

Vemir:

That like um. That's why people love listening to future. Because he can't save himself. He's doing the drugs, he's banging, he's slanging, but he's got. He's got that heart that's suffering in a way. If you really want to take it, I've never heard of him so I mean, I've heard of his name.

Eldar:

I never heard his music.

Vemir:

He basically is, he has like nine baby mamas or something right yeah and he's just known, or running through girls and all that.

Vemir:

So, like a lot of dudes will take that archetype and say you know what? I'm going to get my Bentley, I'm going to go to the club, I got them, and then I don't text her again, whatever else. But there is obviously a higher level than that. Yeah, and he's suffering too. God bless him. I want everybody to be happy, but I'm using him as an example. He's the archetype of, like slanging. And then the cat lady is the archetype of the one that you know didn't learn, the one that got away.

John:

So is he saying are you considering me?

Eldar:

yes, I'm saying that are you you're going down a path that I've experienced, which is destructive which is, what do you mean? But what got you here? What it got you here, the path got you here, but if I have, like you know.

Vemir:

You know what's said someone told me about this. They said let people live. Nature's force will teach them and I said wait a second. I'm part of nature and I'm a force speaking right now to influence him. I could could interrupt that problem.

John:

And.

Vemir:

I have interrupted that problem I have With about 8 to 10 dudes who are suffering with these issues lonely. Yeah, bring them here. I mean they're in different areas but I should bring them here. They are suffering and I have changed the course of their behavior, attitudes, relationships in a positive direction.

Mike:

You got them to stop masturbating.

Vemir:

Yes.

John:

You got them to stop masturbating? Yes, you got them to stop fucking the girls at the bar. You got them to stop fucking the girls at the bar. They're building healthy relationships.

Vemir:

Sometimes they're in relationships, sometimes they could be cheating in relationships.

John:

I've been in relationships and when I'm in relationships I got no problems. I've dated many girls.

Vemir:

I'm not judging you. I know it sounds rough, but I'm saying that in my experience, running through girls leaves you empty.

John:

So let me put it this way I've been in long relationships. I got you here, but I have a certain hyper thing of iteration.

Mike:

Who was in your ear to tell you that?

Eldar:

Mr G.

Mike:

So why don't you believe that Mr G is here?

Vemir:

Because I have the awareness now he doesn't have. So you're better than him? No, it's not an equal thing. So why?

Mike:

do you have this awareness? And he doesn't have this awareness.

John:

My life path Because he's an animal. You're not going to take me to church, are you?

Eldar:

You're going to take me to a satical town.

Mike:

You believe it for yourself, but you don't believe it for him. I believe he could change. That's why I'm talking right now. Get to that. I'm here to influence him nobody influenced you.

Vemir:

You figure it out yes they did, I can have a relationship I had people I looked up to that helped guide me, but it was my decisions and suffering and going through the shit and failing. Everybody has to go through that. The personal journey of let's say the word that you guys don't like discipline, overcoming more awareness. However, there are people along the way that can save you time, so you can save you suffering. That's the whole point.

John:

So you're saying it's not a good idea to go around and fool around when you're young and have a good time no, it's not down.

Vemir:

It's the common thing to do. Look, look, but it's not.

Eldar:

It's not gonna you Take his advice and then I'll give you my advice. Listen to his advice first.

Vemir:

What is your question?

John:

It's not okay. I'm young, I'm still mid-twenties. It's not okay to have a good time, go to a bar, take girls home sometimes, occasionally, when you're lucky Before you settle down Exactly Before you settle down.

Vemir:

So there's two things that is going to happen. You're going to do that for a long time and then learn what you need to fix to have a healthy relationship. You can also second option do it for a shorter time and then have a relationship that's healthy after you fix it. So you can either have a long time and a lot to fix or a shorter time and less to fix. And that's how it is. And if you listen like I listened, like other people may listen it may save you suffering, just in the grand scheme of things. We know you're drunk.

John:

It's a sign.

Vemir:

Does that make sense or no?

John:

Yeah, it makes sense.

Vemir:

You want me to give you the better version.

John:

I want to hear your advice.

Eldar:

Okay, it's absolutely okay. However, right, there are caveats, and caveats are. There are consequences, okay, consequences to your actions. Okay, one being, for example, right, stds. Okay, if you're not using a condom on your dick, you might get something. That stuff hurts usually, right, you can't pee it, fucking, you know you can't shit, you know gonorrhea and all this other fucking crap that's out there. Right, you could potentially get that. That's a caveat, that's a warning for you. Ok, potentially, you can also get somebody pregnant. What is the consequences?

John:

there.

Eldar:

They're going to have a baby. Guess what they're going to call you. You're going to say, harris, you owe me $8,000. You're going to say for what? Oh, it's child support that you've missed for the last couple of years, or whatever. Right, that's a consequence. Okay, what else do you want to know? Baby mama drama.

John:

I get it.

Eldar:

I get it Okay. Understand the consequences and if you're still okay with trying those things out or learning through those consequences, I'm completely okay with this. Keep going. That's my advice before I even take a call or before I even go back to a hotel room whatever you want to call it.

John:

I ask you, on Paris, control the whole nine yards. Fine, if they say they are Okay.

Eldar:

Harris, but have you ever had an experience with a person in your life where a person lied to you? No, oh, wow. Nobody ever lied to you, john he's lying right now this guy here.

John:

So there you go.

Eldar:

There's some people out there in this world that lie to you, right? Can you believe a stranger who doesn't actually know you? And they actually their pussy itches, right? They want a dick in their pussy, right? Wouldn't they just say anything just to get your dick in?

Mike:

it, don't you usually say anything? Just to get in there too, saying you're some kind of Wall Street broker, millionaire.

John:

No, man. He said that. What did he say? No, I didn't. He said that.

Eldar:

You guys said that you guys are twins. No, the only thing that fucking did it she believed it.

John:

The only thing that did it, I think, was when I whipped out my credit card and opened up a tap that sold the deal Again.

Eldar:

Harris, you lied to her. And then that's another thing you told- me that you're rich yeah. You fucking seven or eight hundred dollars that night. You could have went to a whorehouse, spent 150, 200 and did the same thing. Right, they strap you on, they make sure that you put on the condom, right, there's gonna give me no relationship afterwards, there's gonna be no babies, there's gonna be no stds and you don't have to get your. You get your, come out and you find you feel fine, you better be careful, man.

John:

They might think. Letter friend is the joint man, are you crazy, man?

Eldar:

they won't take that do you understand? There's different ways about going about these things. The way you're going about it, it seems like Vermeer and me, alina and Mike. It might be a little immature, but maybe it is because you are immature. That's why you're doing it the way I'm doing it.

John:

I just want to have a good time right now. That's it.

Eldar:

But again, this is Before I settle down Okay, okay, okay, but do potential consequences of a good time no, Okay. So how do you do it? You have to ask yourself how do I do it? How do I have good time without suffering the consequences? Wrap the shit up.

Mike:

Wrap the dick up this guy's guilty.

John:

Yeah, you shut up, man, you shut up.

Eldar:

No, listen. At the end of the day, it might be in the cards that you have to get some kind of STD to get scared into learning.

John:

Yeah, everything's healed through medicine. Now, man.

Eldar:

There you go. If you have that belief, then that's fine too.

John:

I'm just saying.

Mike:

Yeah that's your choice. Yeah, medical insurance obviously yeah, but then you can't complain if you can't sit down and shit.

Eldar:

You know you can't pee, you can't complain, then you can say oh you, you chose this.

John:

I'll start wrapping my shit up. Any advice here, Mike, For what?

Mike:

For you. Yeah, I think same thing as all I said. If you know the consequences and you're okay with them, then go ahead, man, but if it does happen to you, you can't complain. You can't complain.

John:

You told me when you were younger you weren't doing this shit.

Mike:

I wasn't doing this.

Eldar:

no, and Harris and Harris, there are many more consequences out there than the ones I listed. I just listed the obvious ones. Okay, what if she had a boyfriend right who she just broke up with, and he's a crazy maniac? And now you're texting her, he comes over there with a gun and shoots you. Like shit, like this right. I can paint so many different pictures. You know what I'm saying?

Mike:

Anything can happen, but why put yourself in a more high-risk situation? If you're a high-risk type of learner, then you'll learn through high risk.

Eldar:

He is high risk, that's it.

John:

But when you hurt yourself, we're not going to cry for you. Fuck you man about it. You know, like fuck dude, it fucking happened, that's it so you know, that's it.

Eldar:

What are your final thoughts, man, if you have any?

John:

And don't say anything. Gay, I think you gave some good advice. Okay, and I'll really have to just sit down and contemplate, man, okay.

Eldar:

Alright, listen, if you do decide to strap it on, cool. If you don't, cool, I don't care. That's your life. And if you want, you and John can go to a massage parlor. Yeah, and fuck each other, yo, what is?

John:

wrong with you? Hey, bro, now he's talking like a Whoa you can do whatever you want.

Toliy:

He's just a maniac in the mailbox.

John:

Yo, where the hell did you come from, dude? Why'd you start talking now, fool?

Toliy:

Yeah, because the girls love phonies yeah.

John:

The girls. Why don't you start?

Eldar:

talking now, john. Any final thoughts I would?

Vemir:

say this is really important. I think it's really unfortunate we're dealt like a different hand as soon as we're born where the hell did you come from? Having to already fill up the karma bucket or something we have to undo what you said is usually called generational trauma Mistakes our parents make because they're not perfect.

John:

Where did you come from, dude? You just started talking now.

Vemir:

Even with their best intentions, employ things to you that you then later have to fix. I think what was interesting, that what was her name Alina? Alina said is like she as an adult still has high regard for her mom, which means to me that she did the assessment of all the things that her mom did, right and wrong, and still respects her. So it's like a higher.

Mike:

It's a little bit of a shocker, or no, it's what? Is it a little bit of a shocker?

Vemir:

No, I mean, I think that once you get some awareness, you can realize that they did their best.

Eldar:

I did the same with my family, yeah, and I think that it's less or whatever they had at the time. That's all they worked with.

Vemir:

And it's less judgmental at that point. Yeah, so I think, in terms of male and female roles, I think we just need to, in one sentence, get back to reality. I think that society has a lot of BS, which is belief systems, we have thoughts, we have frameworks, ideologies and all that stuff, and we try to do the best we can with what we know, and then we sometimes, as men, force it upon a woman without having the complete picture, and then we learn and a woman will have a reaction to what happened to her with another guy or from her family and then employ it to them. And we're doing this dance. And when you can see through the clouds and the smoke a little bit and you get to the right little pieces of nuggets of wisdom and formula and are humble enough to understand that you have many miles to go, yeah, I think that you'll be able to make some serious progress. Miles to go yeah, I think that you'll be able to make some serious progress and, in my belief, what you described, you can get to the point where you get above a certain threshold, to where you're ready, to where it's like I figured out a majority of the shit I need to in order to have a healthy relationship.

Vemir:

And then those little things or life in order to create one yeah, in order to create one yeah, in order to create something out of one and one becomes more than two yeah, you're able to essentially find yourself even more with them. Those can be very healthy. But the one thing I want to say there is, like life happens, so you know, tragedy can strike, and I think a lot of what we need to focus on today with society is about commitment and, more deeply, about integrity, because things aren't easy and I think a lot of people can drop out of relationships for the smallest thing or for just getting through one rough thing and couldn't handle it. That's something I think we can take away from our previous generations. They stuck through wars, they stuck through really, really bad stuff and even though it wasn't perfect, I like that they maintained a certain sense of longevity. So my wish, with love for both genders, is to have respect for each other. I think that'll be very, very healthy.

John:

Okay, thank you. Live life like there's no tomorrow, man, Thank you.

Eldar:

My final thoughts I agree with most of the stuff that you said, and my final thoughts on this is, I think, the more we dissect it as always we dissect it I think we find it that both genders are exactly where they're supposed to be. I think that if there are problems, if there's misconceptions, misunderstandings and all this hoopla between who's better, who's not, who needs who, it's because those individuals are not ripe enough to have relationships in the first place, to be with one another, to judge it for what it is and to be worthy of true love. And if you're not worthy of true love, then you ought to have a very serious turmoil in your relationships. And if you're not worthy of true love, then you ought to have a very serious turmoil in your relationships. So if you're having those relationships turmoils, and then you, you know, making conclusions from those turmoils, you making bigger walls for yourself, becoming more angry, then that's exactly the path you should be taking. You know what I'm saying and that's it, and that's just what it is.

Eldar:

Thank you, yeah, thank you, mike. Anybody else? Harris, would you like to say anything?

John:

the the life like there's no tomorrow.

Toliy:

Man thank you, harris the maniac in the mailbox, don't forget it.

Eldar:

Yes, thank you. Thanks for watching.