Dennis Rox

134. Savoring Life's Moments: Prolonging Joy and Fulfillment

September 13, 2024 • Eldar, Toliy, Harris, Mike • Episode 134

Share episode

Have a question? Ask us and we will discuss it during the next episode.

Ever wondered if rushing through life's pleasures is robbing you of lasting happiness? In this episode, we explore the fascinating concept of savoring moments to extend joy and fulfillment. Our lively debate includes everything from the joy of showing off a new car to the thrill of a delicious meal. With playful banter and personal anecdotes, we uncover the hidden belief systems that drive us to speed through our joys and discuss how a more gradual approach might be the key to prolonged happiness. Plus, we can't help but poke fun at our friend Nate along the way.

New acquisitions often bring a burst of excitement, but can that joy be sustained? We delve into how new possessions like a car impact our quality of life and the initial thrill they offer. As we navigate through the evolution of our interests and hobbies, we ponder whether the joy derived from new experiences can last or if it eventually fades. With personal stories and reflections, we illustrate how our evolving passions shape our happiness and how life's pleasures can morph over time, providing us with fresh sources of joy.

Sharing personal achievements can be a double-edged sword, especially when responses from loved ones are mixed. We explore the emotional toll of these interactions and how tweaking our communication can protect our happiness. Through humorous exchanges, we highlight the balance between seeking validation and protecting our joy. We also dive into the metaphor of life as a balloon with a hole, discussing the importance of taking the proper steps to fully enjoy life's pleasures. Tune in for insights on achieving a fulfilling life through self-awareness, personal growth, and continuous learning, all wrapped in a light-hearted and engaging conversation.

we on X

Eldar:

on this week's episode. What we're trying to do is trying to figure this whole life thing out in such a way where we can maybe prolong the pleasures that life has to offer, because some things feel good, right it's his way of like making this sound cool.

Toliy:

Oh, and not like a like a loser thing to talk about, okay it's like a.

Eldar:

it's a safe rescue fuck you. It all falls back on you, bro. Even Jhon's like fuck it, jhon's like Nate.

Harris:

Oh, you know what? Fuck you guys? This fucking shit, everything's Nate, this Nate that Nate, that I can't help it.

Eldar:

Man, If Nate's listening to this, fuck you. That's my topic for today. That's the topic for today. That's the topic I think we should talk about I think this is a very important topic.

Harris:

What is If he says humble? Again I'm going to slap him, bro, Because it's been the topic like three different times.

Eldar:

That's a very important one too, but I know how much you want to talk about it, but we're not going to talk about it today. What being humble and all this other stuff.

Harris:

We talked about it six different times man.

Eldar:

Yeah, but it's a very important topic.

Toliy:

Yeah, but you can't keep talking about it.

Eldar:

You can talk about it for a lifetime, for a lifetime exactly. She doesn't understand this concept and that's why I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about, maybe a skill or ability or an art form if Tom was here of creativity. Having the ability to fuck you, tom. That was a good one. Yeah, fuck you, tom, if you're listening. Okay, so having the ability to prolong your life pleasures whoa what?

Harris:

kind of pleasures are you talking about man? Cause that's some sick shit.

Eldar:

Good things pleasures. It ain't that kind of shit desires. What else? Happiness, if you want to call it. Are you guys catching my drift or no? Yes, you are alright. Can you help Harris, because he's he has issue understanding this yeah, harris, is this correct?

Mike:

what Elder said, the assessment? I don't know. Can you help Harris because he has an issue.

Harris:

understanding this. Yeah, harris, is this correct? What else did I say? The assessment? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Okay, I'm happy.

Mike:

I don't know what you're talking about.

Mike:

I don't know what it's rooted in or what it's tied to, but if you're enjoying doing something, a lot of times we try to not that we try, but we naturally try to burn it out. It just burns out as fast as possible and we extract the fun only just for a little bit of time, right, Instead of really enjoying and taking it slow and extracting the most amount of pleasure for the longest time possible. So it's like the same thing If you're eating your favorite meal. I knew it was coming to that. Well, it's like the same thing If you're eating your favorite meal. I knew it was coming to that.

Mike:

Well it's just an easy example. I can give you something else If you're jerking your little cock oh fuck you.

Harris:

Oh, you prefer to jerk it for 45 seconds? Yeah, fuck you, man. Oh my God, oh my God.

Mike:

Yeah, if you're enjoying yourself doing something that's pleasant, like, for example, a delicious meal, would you prefer to eat it fast or would you prefer to sit there and slowly?

Harris:

enjoy every single bite, okay.

Eldar:

Yeah. So I think that, yeah, this is a good example. I think that the more examples that we can give Harris in order to connect it to his life, I think it'll be very beneficial. After all, we're trying to tumble Harris here, right, correct, not like a tumbleweed, but tumble Harris here, right, not like a tumbleweed, but tumble, and I'm like rocks, dennis rocks. But my example for Harris is this right, he's driving now, and he's driving a pretty good car, like a really good car.

Harris:

Right Shout out to Tesla, sponsored by.

Eldar:

We're not sponsored by them, fuck off. But if we are, we can are we can shout them out. But he's driving a really nice car, probably one of the best in the world, and obviously the first thing that comes to his mind, at least in that moment, is like yo, I got to show everybody, show this off and really put it out there. This is what I'm riding in now. What if he took his right, took his time and did it gradually?

Eldar:

you know, showed some people you know. One day another person, another day another person.

Harris:

I'm not driving with everyone's house man.

Eldar:

No, I'm saying, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying, like calling people, maybe showing a picture and stuff like that. Right, like, extend, like extend the pleasure of that you told Kiri, or no, no, she's not here, bro, yeah, so what? I'm saying you catching my drift, harris, I'm catching your shit man.

Eldar:

Because a lot of times, like you said, mike, we burn out our what's his name? Hype Right Very fast, and what happens? I think it actually doesn't serve us really well. What happens is we go on the chase of something else, something new. Why is this important?

Mike:

well, you would have to probably discuss or explain the belief system behind that. Yeah, because the reason people uh do it the way they do it like, like, in a super fast way there's a reason right. And there's a reason why you do your. Let's say this approach that you're saying, let's call it that, let's call it the elderism approach, shout out, shout out to elderism.

Eldar:

Oh, that's true. No, somebody else coined this.

Harris:

Elderism was coined by someone else you are elder, so who coined it? What do you mean? Someone you know, someone we know is he in this room?

Eldar:

maybe, like you know?

Harris:

spiritually. So I'm going to ask you a question here. Was it someone that used to work here? That's?

Mike:

a pretty good guess.

Eldar:

wow, that's a pretty good guess. Is it actually someone that used to work here? That's a pretty good guess, wow.

Harris:

That's a pretty good guess. You're absolutely. Is it actually someone that used to come on this podcast very frequently and then disappeared?

Eldar:

Yes, who would that be? Who would coin elderism? I'm going to guess.

Harris:

Dennis Wow, am I right you are right? Yeah, I always thought it was guess. Dennis, wow, am I right you are right? Yeah, I always thought it was Tully. No, because he's the one that always says it. Yeah.

Eldar:

You are. I've never heard of him say it.

Toliy:

I've never even heard, I've never even heard of him say it.

Harris:

I've heard Tully say it. We'd be sitting on the podcast Elderism. Why does this have to sound like a virus? Like a virus, how many?

Toliy:

times have I said it elder if he would have called Under 10.

Eldar:

Maybe under 10.

Harris:

My mom said I swear to God. She also said that. What did she say? It's like Eldar's running his own little family, his own little cult, and it's like you know, it all sounds good and well, but running his own little family, his own little cult, uh-huh, and it's like you know, yeah, it all sounds good and well, but yeah.

Mike:

Until you got to take one for the team.

Toliy:

Come sit on my lap boy.

Harris:

Come over here. She's like it all sounds good and well until things start crashing down. So why does everything always have to crash down?

Toliy:

What does that mean?

Harris:

crash out, crash down. What does that mean? Crash out, crash down, what does that mean? It's crashing down, I don't fucking know. Like something's gonna go wrong. Yeah, typical, regular shit.

Mike:

Yeah.

Harris:

So elderism.

Mike:

No, I don't think we're talking about that?

Harris:

No, we're not talking about that.

Mike:

Right.

Eldar:

But we're trying to figure out right. Is this important? What Is this important? What? Why is this important To have the ability to prolong some of the pleasures that come our way Right and why.

Harris:

Let's put it this way. I have an example. Okay, my dad always loved drawing and painting. Okay, he went to school for it. Yeah, college Ended up working in the fashion industry painting doing all that shit for 15 years. He still paints your nude After it. He hasn't painted in fucking good 30 years. Okay, when I asked him why, you know his reason was he goes. When you enjoy something so much and you make it a career for so long, he goes. It kind of gets tired. He goes. It's no longer for the, it's no longer joy anymore.

Eldar:

You know it's yeah, not working he no longer fucking does.

Harris:

He burns out his his.

Mike:

Thing is my new hobby hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eldar:

That's one way to do it right. You make your hobby also your career maybe right, and if you have to do it right, then you can burn it out as well, but I think it's like a different belief system.

Mike:

There's a reason why people go that route right. There's their reason, and I think there is a reason to go slow and really extend the pleasure.

Eldar:

Yeah, is it just inevitable that people who are deprived are going to go and burn out?

Eldar:

What do you mean burn out, though? Like burn it out, right, like if you're so deprived, right, you're just going to take as much as you can, as fast as possible, and just burn it out, right? And then what happens is you want to the next thing, you have to get a new thing to burn out, yeah, and then the next one, and the next one, the next one, next one, and you know, it's kind of never, maybe never enough, right? So are we onto something here, harris?

Harris:

No, you're not.

Eldar:

Or not Totally.

Toliy:

Well, well, I think like you have to give some examples of like what both things look like, so I don't think that people really understand what you're saying.

Eldar:

Well.

Harris:

I gave an example for Harris, right. So you're saying the Tesla right. I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I'm showing it off to everyone. Eventually, what you're saying is I'm going to get bored of it.

Eldar:

Not that you're going to get bored of's going to be like old news, right, it's like, okay, like well, car does eventually get to be old news.

Harris:

That's when people trade it in and get a new one?

Eldar:

yeah, but my question is can you extend some of that joy? Can you extend?

Toliy:

some of that pleasure. Yeah, but that wouldn't make sense. Like it's a car. You're supposed to enjoy it as much as you can no, I'm saying that, like, when you get something that is so dramatically um, like, enjoy it as much as you can. No, I'm saying that when you get something that is so dramatically different or good for you, I guess in that moment it's impossible to go with that approach.

Harris:

So let's put it this way your feeling.

Toliy:

Let's use your permanent Right. What percent would you say, harris, is your life better with the current car that you're driving than what it was before? 100%, it's 100%, better, 100%. So your life is twice as good now. Yeah.

Harris:

Okay, I can get an A to B. I don't have to ask for a ride, okay.

Toliy:

Your life is twice as good now. Okay, you also got a new car. Yeah, a nicer car, yeah Right, a new car. Yeah, a nicer car, yeah right. How much percent is your overall life better now?

Eldar:

not a lot at all. Probably I can't even put a percent on it okay, so under one yeah, or like yeah yeah, okay, my, maybe my ride is a little bit better. Yeah, not my life, no, okay. So do you see that?

Toliy:

I do see that, yeah okay but it's also we're talking about a tangible thing material object yeah, but now but that he's saying that made his life twice as good overall yeah, but I don't think, I don't think the approach, like the approach itself is the thing that's gonna improve your quality of life not

Toliy:

the actual object well, well, well, yeah, but like the difference in how big of a change it is for one person to another, like that one person where it's like yo, life is twice as good. You want to fucking shout from the rooftops.

Mike:

Yeah, for you I didn't even tell my mom and dad. You got to think about it, right For you.

Harris:

It's not my car but this is like my first car. When you got your first car, what did you do? You went and picked up your friends 100%. You went and cruised 100%. Right, my brother, when he got his first car, you know what the first thing he did was he came and got me and John yeah, all right, he got me and John. He got a fucking beautiful, fucking Mustang for his first car, loaded us up, took us to fucking McDonald's, sped around a little bit, had a little fun with us. Yeah, the first thing you do when you get a car is you go fucking pick up your boys.

Eldar:

Yeah, I think we're just making this example as just a stepping stone of the maybe bigger examples that we have going on and stuff like that in life, I think, as people but yeah, everybody has this example, Harris, Be it a new bicycle, a new car, you know, a new girlfriend, whatever, right, it's all the things that we kind of acquire and stuff like that that bring a certain level of pleasure. We tend to a lot of times, right, Kind of go all in right, All in excited and like yo, look at this right, there's also another reason I'm like this, especially with that I'm a car guy man.

Harris:

I love cars, yeah, especially fast ones. Yeah, yeah, for now, what do you mean for now? Car guys never die man.

Eldar:

Okay, vin Diesel, I mean sure, my dad thinks his Altima is a sports car. Now, you don't think that certain maybe hobbies can be acquired? New hobbies, oh, they can be acquired, but it never means that.

Harris:

Like my dad. My dad might be an example, right yeah, when he was my age, he didn't have a car longer than fucking six months. My uncle would buy cars at auction, fix them up, so my dad had different cars every fucking month. He'd have a Barracuda, he'd have a fucking Vette. He had all these cars and he tossed them up and he was a car guy wait, he had a Barracuda and he took it to the Vette no, bro, he had a Barracuda. It was a car called the Barracuda oh, not the fish.

Eldar:

Fuck you man. He had a Barracuda.

Harris:

It's a car called the Barracuda, oh, not the fish. No, fuck you man. He had a Barracuda, he had a Corvette, he had all these cars and he was absolutely a gearhead. And now he thinks in all his mind it's a sports car. So there you go.

Eldar:

Right. So stuff evolves Right now. Today you're a car guy. In 20, 20, 30 years or maybe 50 years, you might be a boat guy. Maybe you moved up in life right, or maybe you become a jet guy. Maybe you were able to buy a jet and now you know what do you mean. It's not a good example. This is an example that you can understand.

Harris:

No, yeah, what the fuck I just got too excited. You just got too excited excited.

Mike:

You just got him too excited. Okay, fine, I'm sorry, it's never going to happen.

Harris:

man, how do you know? That's it. You got to win the lottery man.

Eldar:

Is this an example that pertains? Well? I'm trying to make a point out of that right now.

Toliy:

You're maybe a car guy, but there's potential it doesn't even have to go where you go Like Up, where you go up and get like more things or bigger things.

Harris:

You could just have other priorities or other interests. Next thing you know you got kids. Man, you can't be doing that shit anymore Well no it's a Tesla man.

Eldar:

Well, look, all I'm saying is that we evolve and I think we change. Right, but let's get back on topic Prolonging and stretching out pleasure.

Toliy:

Let's use the term things we enjoy, because pleasure there's different categories for this stuff, and then I also think that there's different, like there's different people involved in this stuff as well for sure.

Eldar:

Let's talk about some of the categories.

Toliy:

Yeah, let's talk about like, like, for example, like comparing like a car versus like I don't know, like, um, no, no, a car versus like a cup of coffee in the morning, looking out your window listening to the birds sing.

Mike:

Yeah, maybe like yeah.

Harris:

What the fuck. Where'd that come from? That's gay.

Toliy:

No, I was going to compare like, for example, like a car, versus like like your, your work or the craft that you do Right, or you're like your career, go ahead.

Eldar:

Yeah.

Toliy:

Right, yeah, like you're doing that every single day and there's a lot of different like uh, like um, maybe like easier to see like uh nuances with new nuances or whatever nuances that word is like with it, right, like there there's lots of things like involved in it, um and where.

Toliy:

And for example, if you getting like really good at something, you continuing to like learn it, expand it, apply it, mess up on something, learn it, teach somebody else it, coach somebody like you know all kinds of things, right to that.

Toliy:

And yes, like you could definitely go the approach of like crashing and like burning on it and doing it for like particular, like outcomes or maybe like desires, right. But I think that like um, like that, that's a very um easy to prolong, kind of like happiness If you're doing something and you're working towards it every single day, and it's kind of like an almost like an infinite pit because like there's so much to do in it, you can really prolong the enjoyment. But you need to be in a position to prolong the enjoyment. So it's like again, the second thing happens is that like you need to be a particular type of person in a particular situation to prolong it. If you're worrying about where you're going to sleep tonight and if you're going to eat tomorrow, your basic needs are not met and you're still not in that level like Maslow's hierarchy.

Harris:

I'm sorry. He lost me a long time ago, man.

Eldar:

No, I think he's supposed to, because I think he's talking about different levels and I think you're stuck at somewhere else.

Toliy:

So Ah, fuck you, man, fuck you, fuck all y'all yeah.

Eldar:

No, it's a very good point what he's trying to bring up, but it's going to be hard to grasp for some Not for all, but for some, yeah. So why is he?

Toliy:

grunting.

Harris:

What Making me look like a fucking idiot man.

Toliy:

It's not making you are an idiot in this and it's completely fine.

Eldar:

We're accepting of that.

Harris:

Fuck you.

Toliy:

Yeah. So that's what I'm saying when it comes to that. If you're not in that position where you could do something like that, where you're doing it and it's like a long-term thing and you identify already that it's a long-term thing, right, Like um, then you, you have to, uh, you not, not, not that you have to. You will approach it in that kind of way where you could prolong your enjoyment for like a long time, Right, Um. But again, if you're on like if, if your needs are not met, if you're on like if, if your needs are not met and you're thinking about very basic needs and like more survival, because, like it, it may not even be like your next meal, where are you going to sleep? But like whatever. In modern day where we are right now, like whatever is considered more survival. Again like having a vehicle or not. Yeah, Like you could say, not having a vehicle is like and you're in survival mode, right?

Toliy:

yeah, like yeah, um, so yeah.

Eldar:

Tyrus, when you got the car right, instead of kind of maybe learning about the car right and all the things that it can do, you know what? You went into you opened it and you said, hey, these scratches right here, I'm gonna buff these things out. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Harris:

Yeah, gotta make it look pretty man, fine like I. I saw some uh bird shit on the car. I was like this is no good man, I gotta take it to the car wash.

Eldar:

You know what I'm saying yeah, I think this is a good example as to like maybe the focus might be on the wrong stuff for the wrong reasons.

Harris:

Well, I mean, you know it's the same thing.

Eldar:

going back to everyone's and that also revolves around attachments.

Harris:

Yeah, but it's the same thing. Going back to everyone's first car, you always wanted your car to look nice, right? Yeah, and shiny, fine.

Eldar:

But again, I, I, you know, I wasn't given that advice when I had my first car.

Toliy:

yeah, you know what I'm saying yeah, yeah, but it's also like you. You're giving advice to an, like a person that already has particular agenda, ideals, agendas 100.

Eldar:

I'm not, I'm not giving advice, I'm asking questions, oh okay. Yeah, I'm asking the questions. I'm trying to understand and whether or not I mean this type of conversation will be even desirable for an individual who is chasing very specific things right now. Listen, I know he's speeding through the thing. He's a speed demon right now in his own lane. You know what I'm saying.

Harris:

So so so.

Toliy:

Yeah, like for example in Harris's case. The general consensus probably is that everyone around him believes that he's a dumbass. Yeah, in one form or another. Yeah so getting something like this, which generally in society is not something that is like owned by dumbasses or driven by dumbasses or does not have those kind of qualities of it you want to tell everybody.

Harris:

That's 100% yeah for sure, that's messed up, man. This guy right here, that's messed up. What's messed up? You get a nice car, you show it off, man. It's not about dumbasses. This dumbass that you going there, man Do I know?

Eldar:

I'm this dumbass that, okay, you're going there, man do I know I'm a dumbass, sure, no, no, no, no, he's just making an example, he's not singling you out, but you know, you know what I'm saying my friends are dumbasses too, so it all fits man.

Eldar:

We all are dumbasses you know what I mean, and I think what we're trying to do is trying to figure this whole life thing out in such a way where we can maybe prolong the pleasures that life has to offer, because some things feel good, right, right To all of us, yeah, right, and a lot of it is an excitement. A lot of times, excitement gets us excited, gets us riled up and we start buzzing. You know what I mean. But sometimes we crash and burn and sometimes it runs out right. So we're trying to figure out how not to be a dumbass, right, in order to be able to enjoy it a little bit more, in order not to get into certain pitfalls, right, for example, you went and told somebody about, let's just say, your car, and then the other person's like oh, fuck man, my life is so bad, right?

Eldar:

Oh, you're bringing that up man Example right here you are, on one hand, want to share your joy right, someone comes crashing down.

Eldar:

But then the other person is coming crashing down and saying it's completely the opposite, because they don't feel the same way, they don't have the same things, and the next thing what's happening is actually right they're putting a damper right On your excitement for that moment. So you don't have that ability to understand or foresee certain things. Right, it's actually hurting your moment. I'm trying to see whether or not we can understand certain things, foresee certain things, and prolonging these moments by being a little bit smarter, by maybe not sharing with certain people that not supposed to understand or feel that excitement that you're looking for. This is another example of it.

Eldar:

But unfortunately, a lot of times we do right, we share with the wrong people that are not on the same wavelength with us, right? And next thing, you know, we feel like they're hating on us or they feel like they don't support us, they don't love us, right, they don't care about us. I mean you're going through this like you're on the front line with your whole family on this right now. You know what I mean. Here you are, you're trying to change yourself, you're trying to be better doing sales. I'm learning. Come on, look at me, guys. And nobody's supporting you.

Eldar:

You know on that side, you understand on one hand, you come here, you enjoy yourself, you're learning, you're progressing and you feel good, and then, on the other hand, you have a different life that you live, where you constantly have to defend yourself. You know what I mean. Yeah, I'm talking about being able to prolong this situation right that you have here, outside of here, and if you really tune in and tap in, you might be able to do that. I think through these types of conversations, you might be able to figure out ways. This is a very hard topic for me, man.

Toliy:

Zero chance.

Eldar:

Wow, why is it very hard, did you?

Harris:

understand it?

Eldar:

I don't know.

Harris:

I understand what you're saying, right? Okay, hold stuff back, don't share, well, no, no, no, I'm not saying that.

Eldar:

Try not to understand my thing, my theory, as a blanket statement of what you should or shouldn't do. Continue to be yourself and do it the way you do it. However, what I'm saying is that there's some tweaks that you can do with the way you share, the way you talk, the way you come across, so you get exactly what you want out of those people that you're sharing with. Versus always have a crapshoot. One day, your dad is in a good mood Yay, harris, good job. Next day, it's like you're a fucking idiot. Get another job. You know what I'm saying?

Harris:

Yeah, Do you understand that I did. My dad has never liked that good job, shit, talk to me. Talk to me when you get 40 meetings or close to it. What kind of bullshit is that? I don't think it's about your diet.

Mike:

You're trying to mush the whole thing, man, Like if you're having a good time, would you like to have a good time for longer?

Harris:

or shorter. Yeah, it's kind of like a vacation, right? You never want it to end, right, that's right.

Eldar:

I'm saying, I'm arguing for the fact that everybody can be on vacation permanently. You see, and you probably don't understand where I'm coming from, Are you like? Oh, there's this fairy tale that you're creating. You're trying to skip steps here, elder? Well, no, I think I'm planting seeds. I'm not skipping no steps here. You want the impression that something is going to come out of this? No, okay. Are you under the impression that something might come out of it later down the line? Yes, well, I am with that impression.

Toliy:

Okay, fine.

Eldar:

You know what I'm saying. I know sometimes I'm sowing seeds in the dark, but nonetheless I think these are seeds. Why is it very difficult? You said you made the comment that, oh, this is a very difficult topic for me. Why?

Harris:

Because I don't know, I don't quite. I guess you could say I understand it?

Eldar:

Okay, but did you understand the fact that sometimes you overshare to the people around you and you don't get the right responses?

Toliy:

that you want.

Eldar:

Do you find that like oh shit, I shouldn't have said that, oh shit. Do you find yourself doing that?

Harris:

Yeah, you see, oh man, shit, we went over what happened in Philly. Man, what happened in Philly, I'm not saying it on here, bro Fine who cares, fine Whatever, but was that?

Mike:

the same lesson we're talking about.

Harris:

No, oh, not as much as I know, I was under the influence and I regretted some of that. That's all.

Mike:

Okay, oh yeah, you were under the influence. Yeah, I guess it's part of it, but not really.

Eldar:

So what I'm saying is that sometimes that you know, by oversharing, or trying to express or trying to bring people in into your happiness or your excitement, might actually you might be shooting yourself in the foot with that, and you know this. You see, you say, hey, this topic is hard because you constantly fall into that trap. Right, yeah, you're constantly shooting yourself in the foot. And then after the fact you're like, oh fuck, I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have done this. So you understand where I'm coming from. Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm trying to tell you that you can move a certain type of way, act a certain type of way that you don't have to shoot yourself in the foot every time. And that is me explaining to you that you can protect your happiness. You can protect your bubble, your happiness. You can protect your bubble, and I think you should. I'm not sure if you can yet, right, but I think in the future you can and you should.

Mike:

No, it's not a shield Speaking Chinese right now, it's just being a little bit smarter. If you got a new toy right, like the car, and then your friend he actually his car got stolen. He's very upset, he doesn't have enough money to go buy a new one. Right, would you go not use the right word, but let's go would you go to your friend and brag that you got a new car, knowing that he just had such a turmoil right where he lost his car? He doesn't have enough money to buy a new one. And here you are showing off pulling up. How do you think he's going to react?

Eldar:

That's a very black and white common sense scenario Mike painted for you what we're saying that if you actually pay attention and slow down, a lot of these scenarios that we get into are actually that black and white, like what he just said. White, like what he just said. However, because we're not paying attention, what happens is we step in shit and then what happens? We blame ourselves to it, and that's why, when you sometimes make a conclusion like, oh, put up a guard, put up a shield, don't say this.

Mike:

I'm not saying that I'm going to give you an example right now about about what it more looks like. Right, it's more of predicting. Right, like a lot of times. Right, this thing, this thing that Elder does about the coffee. Right, the comment that he makes to you.

Harris:

Oh yeah, You're getting good at this.

Mike:

You're getting good at this. You are already now predicting what he's going to say after you make the coffee right, yeah, so you are foreseeing what's going to happen. You already know what's coming right. Imagine you could do that in another conversation, where you get a new car and now you go to a friend who is going through something not so great with his car. It's more of predicting the responses you can receive from the people based on what they're going through in their lives.

Eldar:

Yeah, but let's put it this way right you gave a very easy example. I conditioned that, well, I know. But let's put it this way right you gave a very easy example, I conditioned that.

Harris:

Well, I know, but let's put it this way right the difference.

Eldar:

Let me answer to Mike real quick. The difference is that I'm actively doing that and I know the response that he's responding to, and I'm conditioning that for my own benefit. You know what I'm saying it's for his too, because we have a funny little exchange now and we enjoy this moment together. I've created that, I know it. You know what I mean. Versus, this is empowering him to create his own little moments, right?

Mike:

But that's why I was saying that learning to predict that's why I use that you should learn to predict what people are going to say he already has. Obviously you condition it, but yeah, now he already knows it's a prediction, that's gonna happen.

Harris:

Let's use the the situation that happened that you were talking about. Right, okay, with, uh, you know who? Yeah, I'm not gonna put her on blast. No, we're not. Um, how was I supposed to? No, right? I'm not there. I don't know what the fuck's going on. How was I supposed to predict right? I'm not there. I don't know what the fuck's going on. How was I supposed to predict it would come off that way?

Eldar:

Well, I think that if me and you sat down and had a conversation about the person that we're talking about, I would have given you that advice and told you that certain people should not listen to certain things that you're going through.

Harris:

I get that, but how was I supposed to know her life was that?

Eldar:

bad. Well, that's the thing. You haven't been really paying attention.

Harris:

I haven't been there. It's not like I talk to her every month.

Eldar:

Harris, you've told us what's going on right, it's pretty.

Mike:

Yeah, my mom told me she's not taking off the poop chute.

Harris:

My mom told me everything was getting better, things were straightening out, it wasn't being so much of a dick anymore.

Eldar:

You see, but you know all those details.

Harris:

Yeah, you see that All those details right are indicators of certain responses Right, I thought things were going well, but obviously she's not seeing everything.

Eldar:

I guess he's a victim of a blind trust. He's naive. He's naive of certain things.

Toliy:

Of what?

Mike:

Of seeing things for what?

Toliy:

they are. Seeing things for what they are no, but he has a very. Those things to him are more like normal.

Eldar:

Well, yeah, because he already bought it into them blindly. What do you mean? So you take your mom's word for things? We've already known this right. This is not the first time where your mom said something. You just ran with it. Well, she's there. Your mom is not a good judge of character or situations.

Harris:

Well, she's there, we've established this. She's there, I'm not Just because she's there. We've established this.

Eldar:

She's there, I'm not Just because she's there. We probably know more about that family than they do. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Harris:

You know what I'm saying? What was my father's name? Which one? A biological father, terry. A biological father, thomas, thomas, what Cena?

Mike:

You didn't say fucking what, thomas, what?

Harris:

Shelby Thomas, what?

Toliy:

Gay.

Harris:

Jefferson Thomas. What Gay. You know his last name. What was his middle name? John. How the fuck do you know that?

Toliy:

I fucking know everything.

Harris:

Because your brother's name is John. That's not why my brother's name is John. That's not why my brother's name is John. Yeah, my grandfather's name is John.

Eldar:

What we're saying is that these outcomes of the way he's behaving is already, because it's predictable, because of the fact that he has already naiveness or certain things installed in him that lead him to this path. It's already all like right now, unless, of course, he has these types of conversations where we challenge that and break that cycle to say like, oh, you can do it, otherwise you can interrupt this little pattern.

Toliy:

But the pattern… I feel like it's like the ability, or not ability, to properly like, critically, like think.

Eldar:

Well, yeah, that's 100%, but naiveness comes from that not having the ability.

Harris:

I'm just trying to have fun after going through that long ass slump.

Mike:

Naiveness is not thinking that you need to. Yeah.

Harris:

You know, exactly what I'm fucking talking about.

Eldar:

Yeah, relying on somebody else's word, right? Oh, she said this, or she said that. They told me this, the news told me that. And next thing, you know you, they told me this, the news told me that. And next thing you know, you're formulating conclusions about reality. All your moments of happiness, right? Instead of prolonging it and making them longer, you just you cut yourself short every single time, and then you're on to the next thing, and on to the next thing, and on to the next thing you operate in like a balloon that has a permanent hole in it.

Harris:

Oh, fuck you.

Toliy:

This is a sick analogy. And you keep working at inflating it, only to see it deflate anyway, yes, and he's like what the fuck?

Eldar:

And he does not see the hole.

Toliy:

Do you know that? One video of the person at the beach and they're washing their hair with shampoo and the guy keeps fucking putting it on their head and they're like what the fuck, what? Kind of shampoo is this that's a summary of Harris' life.

Eldar:

That is a fucking sick analogy.

Harris:

Oh fuck you man, I'm not a balloon man.

Eldar:

We have to shoot a video of this right, Put a hole in the balloon and keep blowing it up.

Toliy:

Yeah, he has to keep filling it up. Keep filling it up. Yeah, oh fuck you?

Eldar:

No, but the truth of the matter is, harris, this is not just you, it's everyone here, you know. That's why the yeah, I think it's just how big is your hole?

Harris:

Yeah, what is wrong with you man, you sick bastard.

Eldar:

Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess. So. Yeah, it's true, Right, because at the end of the day, we want to patch up that hole so we can enjoy. That's what's inside the balloon that we've worked so hard to fill, right.

Mike:

No but the whole working hard thing I I don't I'm not sure if that's accurate, like I think, again, there's two ways to go about things right the person who's doing it and trying to squeeze the maximum yeah, fun out of it in the fastest way. Yeah, it's probably got there in a very desperate way, desperate, impatientperate impatient. I don't know, not dishonest, but I don't know what you're saying is that the two are connected.

Eldar:

Whichever way that you've got there is the result you're going to get out of it. I agree with this 100%. Obviously you need to go A to Z the proper way so then you can properly enjoy it. But that's why you have to raise awareness on it, kind of to see how do you go about certain things doing it the right way? You know what I mean, or at least, if you didn't go the right way, at least how can you maybe prolong it a little bit to see if that's even possible?

Mike:

you're talking about Dr Karma now yeah, yeah, I don't know if it's possible to do it that way. What's Bless you. I didn't sneeze.

Harris:

I'm sorry.

Mike:

Yeah, I think it's. You have to value that what you're talking about, and you have to know why.

Eldar:

Well, first of all, we're trying to raise awareness that I think this shit exists and that you can do it. Yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying.

Mike:

I think a lot of times do you think there's like in people probably it lives the thing where they do certain things like that one way right and they're able to extract it the right way, and then other things they do it the right way and then other things that do it the wrong way and not extract it like, yeah, you think so, absolutely. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, I guess. Um, what decides what?

Eldar:

gets what. I mean there's a lot of factors. I think it's a lot of variables that I don't play mm-hmm the amount of attachment time, mm-hmm. The desire mm-hmm. Yeah, she loves you bro, you gotta let it out man, there you go.

Harris:

Yeah, why are you guys saying it like that? What do you mean? She loves you. Yeah, I know she loves me.

Eldar:

That's serious. That's serious love. Yeah, penny gives us a good example of how burn yourself out she does everything 100 miles an hour.

Mike:

100 miles an hour, crashing.

Harris:

She's a great girl.

Mike:

But she has a lot of energy, so she's yeah look at the.

Eldar:

Look at the tail. Yeah, it's perfect circles, you see it. Look at that. That means she's very horny. What?

Toliy:

I'm just joking, just joking, she's very happy no she's very happy she's having a bone right? Yeah, she's very happy she's having a boner.

Harris:

Yeah.

Toliy:

She's relating with a person.

Harris:

With nippies.

Eldar:

Yay, this is a good one, man. She's gonna sleep really good after this. What the hell is wrong with you why she's gonna pass out right after this? Really, 100% Alright, I can't watch Two minutes, you'll see it. Can I breathe? He has to let it happen. How long do I have to wait? As long as it takes, keep going.

Harris:

Fuck you man, let me breathe, god damn Look at her Tim Look at her.

Eldar:

She loves it.

Toliy:

He probably has a lot of salt in his skin, right? Yeah, he's just generally salty fuck you man she's, she's licking off like 20 years of alright, alright, alright, you gotta relax, okay no, let her, let you go.

Eldar:

This is like a record breaking time. Fuck you, man. See she still has it. We gotta let her go. Fuck that, see, she'll bite you, otherwise, yeah, see, she still has it. We gotta let her go. Fuck that, see, she'll bite you. Otherwise, there you go, she's holding you down, fuck you, what a relationship.

Harris:

All right, hey, hey, relax.

Eldar:

You feel a little embarrassed when she does it.

Harris:

No, it's just too. She's too much man. Yeah sure she loves me. She doesn't do it to anyone else besides you. Man Doesn't do it to fucking Tully. You ain't got that kind of relationship with Pam Wins. Huh, yeah, lay down.

Eldar:

So, tully, you don't have a problem with the topic. You don't have a Everything's topic, you don't have a everything is working well, like for what? For you and this do you struggle with this, do you not?

Toliy:

no, yeah, I have it with certain things.

Eldar:

Yeah, have you been trying a little bit better to kind of like to prolong things like, have you, I would say, relatively like To prolong things? Yeah, to prolong things.

Toliy:

Like, have you like, I would say it's a little different now I relatively like, Like overall, I have a very good life, you know, and like Is the key.

Harris:

Okay, Hold on hold on, hold on. He's saying he has a very good life. Yeah, he's got a very good life, but you don't have everything figured out and you admitted it last podcast.

Eldar:

Sure, but why do you have to say that?

Toliy:

Who has it all figured?

Harris:

out you know anybody? Yeah, I do Everyone, everyone, a lot of people. I've seen people. They got everything figured out, man.

Eldar:

Yeah, who.

Harris:

Can we meet them? I mean sure.

Eldar:

Can we meet?

Harris:

them. It might be up front, but you know Okay.

Toliy:

So like I mean, sure Can we meet them. It might be a front, but you know what does that even mean then?

Harris:

Yeah, sure, it might be a front, but some people just it looks like their life is just awesome.

Eldar:

What looks awesome. So people on Instagram dude no, no, no Social media.

Harris:

People you see, you just walk around. It looks like their life is just perfect.

Toliy:

What are you saying?

Eldar:

right now. Think about what you're saying. I don't think he's just mumbling.

Toliy:

This is what it is, Elder. I just saw it.

Harris:

This is where he intentionally wants to be wrong. What are you talking about? Oh, it's that thing. It's that thing Would you stop it, man.

Toliy:

Yeah, Elder, you have to think about how he was saying it.

Harris:

Oh, fuck you man, he caught you. I don't want to be intentionally wrong. He knows he's wrong.

Toliy:

When he was saying that he knows what he was saying was not correct and he wants us to debunk it. And then he wants to show He'll acknowledge it like he understands it, because he knows it's wrong to begin with. Is it a good tactic? It's a good tactic wrong to begin with. Is it a good tactic?

Harris:

What? It's a good tactic. Yeah, yeah, it's like oh, fuck you.

Toliy:

That's not true, man. It's like pretending that you don't have the key with you, but you somehow have the code to the back door.

Mike:

Yeah yeah, yeah, and then you kind of just Fuck you, man, fuck you.

Harris:

You still ask the person to leave the key to the house in the front. Damn, I don't even. That is so obvious.

Toliy:

He walks in the back door after you left him a key under the rug, opens the front door, grabs the key and puts it in his pocket, and then continues.

Harris:

I don't know what he's talking about how do you develop this?

Toliy:

I don't know. It's his way of making this sound cool and not like a loser thing to talk about.

Eldar:

Okay, I see it. It's like a Safe rescue. Yeah, oh, fuck you. It's a good thing, it's your skill, you have a skill Fuck you.

Harris:

Why are you upset?

Eldar:

about that. We're on to you, man, fuck you. The faster we understand you, the faster we'll be able to help you.

Harris:

Yeah, mold me into a goddamn Rock dude.

Eldar:

Why, rock man? We need you as a human form. You were a rock a long time ago, man.

Harris:

Now, you're a human form. Yeah, when you die, though, you're just gonna become a rock man. You know what I'm saying? Dust, everybody becomes dust. No, bro, it's not dust, you become skin and bones, it's basically a rock dude. And then, yeah, you can become bones man, that's true. It's a rock. You're putting the ground. You're back putting the ground in your fucking rock again, man, yeah, you got a rock that's put on you. You got fucking, you got a rock that's reached your fucking knee.

Eldar:

So look right, you were talking about. You know some people that got to figure it out.

Harris:

Yeah, Well, they like it man.

Eldar:

They look like it, or at least they're perceived as it.

Harris:

You never walk down the street and you see someone and it just looks like god damn, they look like they got everything figured out.

Eldar:

Well, no, what I'm looking at, at least for me right now, right after making some observations about people in the world. I look at it as I'm observing a moment that looks cool or looks nice.

Harris:

I'm sorry, you just don't. People watch man. I'm sorry, you just don't people watch, men I don't people watching. Yeah, all I do is people watch every single day.

Eldar:

Okay, you never go sit down somewhere in, you just watch people walk by. I Know what. I know the phenomenon of people watching. I'm explaining to you that when I actually people watch, I'm actually seeing something. You know what I'm explaining to you, that when I actually people watch, I'm actually seeing something. You know what I'm saying. So what I'm saying is that I'm seeing a moment in time that these individuals look like they're happy or they have it figured out or whatever, but that's just the moment in time, and that moment passes always. And then you don't know because I'm not in their house, right? I don't see that. I can't observe them and I don't think you can either. Unless you can and you can tell me about your strategy of people watching, maybe I can listen carefully to and learn about it.

Toliy:

Oh, fuck you man, what so?

Eldar:

yeah, yes, you're really not saying anything right now.

Harris:

Oh, fuck you All, right fine.

Eldar:

Fine. So totally yeah, he's not helping us. He's just saying that. You know, some people have it figured out, it's just not you, even though you're saying your life is good.

Harris:

Yo, what the fuck was that? I'm not sure.

Eldar:

Alright. Well, you guys are not helping me out with this.

Harris:

Well, this topic is kind of.

Eldar:

It's dead. Yeah, it's dead. I think it's an important topic.

Toliy:

Yeah, but what do you need?

Eldar:

Well, I was asking you personally about how some of the things that you you know, how you implemented some of the your pleasures.

Harris:

Gold nuggets from this, how you prolonged it.

Toliy:

Yeah, well, I mean like, for for me it's about like, um less of like relying on, like uh, particular things to give me bursts of happiness, versus like, uh, having more of like a sustained happiness like a like, a lifestyle.

Eldar:

Yeah, right, so you're aware of this problem very well, like you're aware well, oh, yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean, it's a, that's's a.

Toliy:

That's a big problem. It's a big problem you know, but your life can't be like shit, and then you try to implement these kinds of things. You have to first, like, do some things to make it like more not shit than it is shit. Well, that's interesting.

Eldar:

Okay, so what are some basic needs that just go right, like you said you mentioned, nasal hierarchy means let's not mention this, harris doesn't know um. What are some basic things that need to be first established or accomplished for you to be able to then exercise something bigger, like you said?

Toliy:

this is like next level, almost, boss well, yeah, I mean like you, you basically, um, one big thing is that like, for example, if you have, like the history, or maybe a feeling of like, either people like ruling you out, for example, or like looking down upon you, okay, you need to like that aura of that happening, that energy. Energy needs to be cut.

Eldar:

Wow, Okay, you have to. You have to um graduate from that.

Toliy:

Yeah, you have to graduate from that, because why? That's like a anti uh you'll. You'll never be able to enjoy yourself or live like creatively If you have this aura like piercing on you.

Eldar:

So now you're saying something. I have to pull his fucking leg to get this out of him.

Toliy:

I didn't know you were asking this stuff. I thought you were asking Harris about something.

Eldar:

Well, no, I'm asking Harris, but now we went into a comparison that you made a claim Like hey, I'm pretty happy with my life. He's like yo, you don't have it figured out, or whatever. And then you're actually given a very good, you know, a clause here, or like a pointer.

Eldar:

Look dude like if you can keep worrying about the fact that fucking people you're people pleasing over here there's no way, no, there's no chance you could think about prolonging pleasure. I think that's fucking, that's fascinating, that's gold. Well, yeah, like that's a direct shot at some of the lifestyle that he's, he's, he's living right now. You know what I'm saying.

Toliy:

Well, he's living right now. You know what I'm saying.

Toliy:

Well, yeah, yeah, like again, like I definitely don't have like all the best uh like a complete set, like uh relationships with, for example, like my family members or maybe like particular like uh friends out there, but like um, but like I mean like that that's like a work in progress, but like um, like. I spent a long time learning about like I don't know what maybe good relationships look like or what they could be like. I spent a long time learning about like um, a different like, like a, like a particular craft, um that can be taken and applied into like and like is basically real life and like. There's an endless pit in that like um. I'm not like, I'm not like physically, like financially, for example, like set, but I feel financially set. Yeah, even if like, even even if I'm in times where, like I don't have like uh, like I don't have a crazy amount of something or something like I feel I internally I do feel like, like it's not like a, like a, even close to a concern for me for example, Um so um.

Toliy:

Yeah, I mean like I have great things, I have all, like pretty much all the. I mean like any items I get are like bonuses, like on, like everything else it's already sprinkled on top, you know um, and then like, yeah, I don't have any like uh, real, like holes, like that.

Toliy:

You know like in, like a like in, like a materialistic like things. You know, like that, you know um, and for me it's more about like um, oh, I, I, I have like a like, a like I, I, I feel like I've been able to accumulate like a really good what feels like gift of like, like the ability to become like aware of things.

Eldar:

Be great.

Toliy:

Right, like, yeah, like I'm not always aware of everything, but I do feel like I have the ability to be aware of, like, slowly become aware of the things that are around me, and then I have a strong belief that I can change anything I want to. Or like, control you empower. I want to. Yeah, like, I feel that, like it is all possible, it is all doable, so I don't feel like I'm at the mercy of, like the world the world like yeah, like pressing me in a particular way.

Toliy:

So, yeah, like now it's like my choice as to like what I want to do and how I want to do it, and like the, the feeling of that is like a like, it's a forever feeling, like you, you've like made it in like a sense. I feel like once you have that, you know like what, what else you need?

Toliy:

yeah, you know. Yeah, I agree, like now it's a matter of like continuing to figure out the things that I need to figure out. Um, because I already have a strong belief that I do have like a good level of control of them, have a strong belief that I do have like a good level of control of them, like that, that I have the ability to affect them negatively or positively.

Eldar:

Right.

Toliy:

Yeah, um. And then like, um, yeah. Like I said, I feel like I've spent a long time learning about what a good relationship looks like and like what qualities are. Are are important or needed uh for like for both parties right are important and needed uh for like for both parties right to have yeah, um. So I feel like I'm inching towards that too, you know.

Harris:

So, like I, don't know like okay harris, your excuse.

Eldar:

You can go to the strip club.

Harris:

Don't fuck you oh, I'm not going to strip club again. That was rip off, man that's true.

Eldar:

That was, that was a bad one yeah thank you for that testimony. That was definitely good congratulations that you're in a better place so how did I look for you, man, while you were people watching just now and people observing? Totally, when it comes to his figuring out his life and stuff like that, or your definition of it, yeah, not that it matters, but oh, fuck you man Huh.

Toliy:

Oh, also one thing I didn't include a bit.

Harris:

I know it's coming. I know it's coming Fuck you.

Toliy:

There's no way that you're able to guess it. I feel very loved, right, wow, in general with the different people that I interact and everyone applies different types of love, right, but I feel that aura more eminently toward me and not like a hate, not what he experiences.

Eldar:

What? Not what he experiences when he's interacting with others yeah.

Toliy:

What the fuck is that? Supposed to mean, I feel more good energy towards my weight and I don't really feel any kind of negative. Hey, man.

Harris:

Great job making a game man. You know, yeah, everyone, you interact with everyone. You have to feel loved, okay, I make you feel loved, do I yeah at times?

Eldar:

yeah, that's weird man alright, yeah, no, for sure, that's good, that's good. Damn man, it's exciting journey in front of you, man yeah, I got a long way to go, man yeah, but you know, when we were doing the call review earlier, you're like, damn man, I just want to get it already, you know in one month, and just be a fucking killer.

Harris:

Yeah, bro.

Eldar:

Yeah, on one hand, you're saying right now hey, I got a long journey ahead of me, you got a lot of work to do, but on the other hand, you're impatient.

Harris:

Oh, I'm 25, bro. Oh, I'm 25, bro, and I don't nearly got shit. I'm 25 and I don't nearly have life figured out. I thought you're 26, I'm 26, whatever. Oh, okay, cool, I've caught him. No more beers for now I haven't had beer, dude, I'm exhausted okay, fine why you were.

Eldar:

Uh.

Harris:

You wish you were 25 no, oh, I used to you know, wish you know. Oh, I was past 21, right like 18 year olds. Teenagers like yo, don't life be lit. You know what I'm saying? Damn, we didn't know what we were saying.

Eldar:

Yeah, yeah, if there's any fucking teens fucking listening to this, enjoy your fucking teen years, dude, do you feel like when you hit 35, 10 more years past this you'll say the same thing to the person that's sitting there right now To yourself.

Harris:

Come on, let's be honest Teenage years, kids years. Right, that was the easy part of life.

Eldar:

Mm-hmm, you know, yeah, but you're saying that you didn't know what you were talking about back then. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Maybe you don't know what you're talking about right now.

Harris:

I'm just saying man, me too. Life gets harder, it doesn't get easier.

Eldar:

There's always new experiences New things to learn. It's funny how that perception is Completely untrue. What?

Harris:

do you mean untrue? Well, you already want to know.

Eldar:

There's always something new to learn, man, sure, but it does not mean it's going to be harder.

Toliy:

Like isn't the recognition of that a great thing?

Harris:

I guess, I don't know.

Eldar:

But you have a negative connotation on it, yeah, so why is that those two don't add up right? You just gave us one positive and one negative.

Harris:

Well, let's put it this way. Let's just put it this way. Let's put it this way when I was an adult, I had a job. When you were an adult, just starting off, okay, okay, I was living in Florida, had a job, had my own place. Then shit came crashing down, ended up in the shelter. You know things are now back up. You know it's always looking over your shoulder like waiting for the fucking shoe to drop.

Eldar:

You have no clue what I'm talking about no, I do, and I have a lot to say about that, obviously.

Harris:

But I'm not sure if it's appropriate. What do you mean?

Eldar:

I'm just saying I'm not sure if it's like lot harder. What do you mean? What do you mean? I'm just saying I'm not sure if it's necessary right now to plug it in.

Harris:

You've never. You don't understand.

Mike:

Before you started working here, did you have one idea of how a job looks?

Harris:

Work hard and bring in some paper, you know.

Mike:

Okay, so is that a yes or a no? Yeah, I did. Has your opinion of how work looks changed since you started working here? Oh, absolutely.

Harris:

When I was working other jobs. How do? You think that happened, I don't know different environment.

Mike:

No, no, no, I'm saying how did your perception change about it? I don't know, Because you saw that there actually is a different way that things can be done and things can look different.

Harris:

Yeah, you know easier things, you know.

Mike:

Do you think there's other things in life that you had a belief about how they work outside of, like a job career that might also work differently than what you think?

Harris:

Well, I don't know. I'm taking one step at a time.

Toliy:

But think about what's going like in general. The essence of life is learning and you cannot actually feel good. You can't actually be happy without the recognition of learning, for example.

Harris:

I understand learning and shit like that it's actually impossible.

Eldar:

But does life get easier or harder? Okay, okay, see, now you, you just upgraded, all right, you upgraded from what before you made a statement yeah, does life get easier or harder?

Harris:

because right now, what was the statement before this question, my statement before this question about this, this thing is that it just seems like life gets harder and harder go right, that was your statement.

Eldar:

Yeah, and now you've upgraded. I would say to making it a question yeah, does life get easier?

Harris:

why or harder?

Mike:

why did you make that jump?

Harris:

I don't know. It seems I was fucking wrong.

Mike:

I don't fucking know but how did you find out that you might have been wrong? Because everyone here is fucking older.

Harris:

And but how did you find out that you might have been wrong? Because everyone here is fucking older and saying different?

Eldar:

shit. Is he being peer pressured into this?

Harris:

No, everyone's older and saying different shit.

Toliy:

It can't be that.

Harris:

No, I'm not playing stupid. I'm asking does it get easier or harder?

Eldar:

From your experiences, go I have a very specific perspective about this. If you're learning like Tully's, I have a very specific perspective about this. If you're learning like totally saying and thinking, I think life gets easier. If you're not right, if you're an ignoramus, life will become more difficult, or seem to be like it's more difficult, but the truth of the matter is I don't think it's either, or you don't have to put a judgment on it, it's just what it is. If you are a certain type of way, you will have a certain type of life. If you're a certain type of way, the better way, you'll have a certain type of life, right? So I think that it all falls back on you, bro. He even yawns like Nate.

Harris:

Oh, you know what? Fuck you guys. This fucking shit, everything's Nate, this, this nate that I can't help it. Man, if nate's listening to this, fuck you.

Eldar:

Yeah, good, fucking drop dead, go bury yourself in the fucking hole. Listen, you get it or no. So I think totally just gave you a little blueprint, or at least a little bit of a glance into a specific type of life where he feels right, he has control over certain things and certain outcomes.

Toliy:

But just think about it the recognition of like applied learning, or understanding of what you're learning, is happiness. Like what else could it be?

Mike:

Yeah, but that's like, yeah, you gotta. Learning has always been hard.

Toliy:

Like what happens when you like? Just tell me this what happens when you suck at something, and not that kind of suck, oh my God.

Harris:

You need to relax, man. You sick son of a bitch man. You need to relax.

Toliy:

Watch yourself man what I'm saying, what happens in a scenario when you suck at something and then you learn something and you become better at?

Mike:

it. You have to give him like concrete examples, because he's not very good at like the abstract.

Toliy:

You say, hey, no, no, but that's just like a universal thing. You are bad at something and it's going bad. You learn new information, you apply it and you kind of recognize that and it becomes good. What does that equate to?

Eldar:

Happiness.

Toliy:

Happy, good feelings, fun. And if you have that kind of equation always happening in your life over and over again, what does that then mean?

Harris:

You have a good life.

Toliy:

That's it.

Harris:

Anything else you want to compare to Nate, bro, I didn't bite my fucking fingers like Nate. I fucking yawn like Nate, I laugh like Nate Dude. All I'm saying is that.

Eldar:

Nate never met his biological father. Maybe there was a fucking thing where your dad planted a seed somewhere else. I'm saying this.

Harris:

You know what I'm saying? No, where's he from.

Eldar:

I'm saying from where you're, from Georgia, I'm not from Georgia.

Harris:

I was born in North Carolina.

Eldar:

Your dad traveled.

Harris:

My father was born in New Jersey Did you not?

Eldar:

Did you not Come in one of these Irish girls when she was here in New York City? I was not even here. You see, maybe she's having a kid right now, man.

Harris:

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened, man, my kid being raised in fucking Ireland? Maybe she was fucking around the whole time she was here, bro. Well, you never know.

Eldar:

That's a possibility. So what we're saying is that, like I don't know man, there's fucking crazy resemblances, but but yeah, listen, totally, totally told you how it is, man. So what's the answer to your question? It depends, it really depends.

Toliy:

The the person that consciously learns the most is the most happiest. 100%.

Harris:

Okay, what the hell is your problem, man? What, oh my God, man, she just don't fucking stop man, she's booming him. She loves you, I know she loves me, but you gotta put your brown on her man. Do you feel loved with Penny, or no? Sure, but sometimes she's a little too much, she's a little rough, right? Yeah, man, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's not going up my nostril man.

Eldar:

You prefer it when she steps on your balls right.

Harris:

No, penny.

Toliy:

Look at her tail while it's sitting.

Eldar:

What the fuck man, it went the other way. Yeah, oh shit. Oh my God, that was right to left. Yeah, but it was left to right.

Toliy:

Yeah, now it's clockwise. Yeah, now it's clock.

Eldar:

Before it's up, hold on, nope, same way. Oh, the other way For a second. She did it, penny. Oh my God.

Harris:

Oh fuck.

Eldar:

She has her chuiwi on your belly button dude. Oh my God, a chuiwi on your belly button.

Harris:

I can't breathe, dude Fucking hell. Jesus Penny can't breathe, dude Fucking hell.

Eldar:

Jesus Penny. Thank you, penny.

Mike:

All right guys.

Eldar:

I got to go. Yeah, thank you, mike. Any final words on this?

Mike:

topic yeah, you didn't say shit. What do you mean? Didn't say shit?

Eldar:

I was trying to help you, man. You were drowning. I was trying to help you, yeah.

Mike:

I'm giving you concrete examples.

Harris:

You're not listening, I know but you're quiet for most of it, man, a lot of people are speaking.

Eldar:

Mike you struggled with it for a while, I think. I think you buzzed very, very hard on a lot of things and you burned yourself out, I think, and those things as well you know what I mean. Yeah, I mean, this topic is very relevant to you was this around that time?

Mike:

This is around that time.

Eldar:

Yeah.

Mike:

Probably.

Eldar:

Yes, maybe.

Mike:

Yeah.

Eldar:

So what are your final thoughts on the subject? Mike, my final thoughts, yeah, since you're leaving.

Mike:

Since I'm leaving. Yeah, I wanted to just give the answer.

Harris:

Okay, oh shit, shit Skipping it. Ending the podcast understands, though that's the only way I'm going to allow you to give the answer, please, harris. I mean, he always says it in a way, he always says it in a way, he always says well, mike's the only one that actually knows how to dumb it down, I guess. Oh, wow, I guess he was a dumb back in the day, right.

Eldar:

Or might still be one.

Mike:

Yeah, he's in the chewy camp with you, don't worry yeah no, I mean, I'm trying to explain it to harris in terms that he would understand, that he could relate to, because I think it's important. A lot of times when we talk, yeah, it could be a little bit too much, you know. Yeah, because we talk about it not on a specific example element, yeah, but more like in a abstract way. Sure, but we brought examples up, we did, but I think the gentleman needs more. Especially, he has some kind of problems with this topic, he has some things against it.

Eldar:

No, I actually think that this is very relevant to him. It is for sure, this is an extremely important topic for him because he's actually in the trenches with this stuff right now, and the faster he learns, like Toli says, the faster he learns, like Tully says, the faster he'll be in a better place, right. Otherwise, he's going to have these battles going on everywhere. Yeah, and he's going to continue to be frustrated.

Mike:

Well, yeah, I mean, I think what Tully's saying it's hard to implement. You know, it's like how do you help somebody to implement the value, just like he's saying like, yeah, learning is one of the greatest things you can do, but how? How does another person adopt that? You know? Yeah, they have to go and discover it for themselves.

Toliy:

Yeah, and I think Harris is getting good examples.

Mike:

Yeah, you probably don't want to listen to this.

Harris:

It's back to discovery, man.

Mike:

I think Harris is getting good examples. Yeah, but the recognition of those examples super important, important, yeah, even the stuff that's happening with sales, right, yeah, three weeks ago or a month ago, yeah, he was a complete, yeah, neanderthal. Yeah, on the phones, yeah, you know how to talk. What do you do? He went out there. He learned from other people and watched videos. Yeah, talk to toly, ask questions. You know, filled out questions that toly was asking him. Yeah, and what now? Are you happier, now that the way you're answering calls? Are you extracting more happiness every time you come out and ring the bell? Are you proud? Yeah, is that pride, happiness? Are you happy that you're doing it? You're being successful. You've seen the success, the, the guys. We all see the success, right is that making you?

Mike:

happier Building confidence. You're building confidence, right yeah, and what's the next step here?

Eldar:

Polish more.

Mike:

To learn more. Right, to perfect that what you're doing already. And that's the same thing with all aspects of your life. You want to become in better shape. You learn about it, you understand it, you ask questions around it, you talk to experts, experts, people who know some stuff. You listen to what they have to say and then you change that about yourself by implementing it, and then you're happier. Right, if you lose weight, you feel healthier, you're going to be happier.

Mike:

Yeah, so I think that's what's always trying to say those things where you start seeing the happiness and the quality of your life improving. That's a sign that that you're learning something, you're putting it into practice and you're extracting the good stuff that comes with it. That's just like a normal process, right? If you put your gas on your foot, on the gas pedal, the, the car is going to drive. Same thing here. You learn more. You practice it In the real world. You become happier. Same formula you got it. You didn't understand anything. I understood it All, right, good, I prefer you to say I didn't understand anything, so what's the answer?

Mike:

What's the answer? You said you want to give the answer. No, I don't know. I was just talking shit. Okay, fine. Oh fuck you, man. But yeah, I think it's a value system and it's obviously a belief system, that approach. But I think it has something to do with probably, what Tully was saying earlier about, or you were saying maybe about being deprived. I don't know who said that, Tully yeah it. I don't know who said that totally yeah. It's hard to do that when you're deprived yeah, when you're hungry yeah, but I also think there's levels to it.

Mike:

You know that Maslow's pyramid. I don't think it.

Eldar:

It's really linear it's not linear, you're saying it's definitely not linear.

Mike:

No, but it's also. Some people be like yo, I got a million dollar house. It's not enough for me. I haven't reached that pyramid, you know. Or like nah, my car's not good enough, I drive like a, you know, mercedes, whatever bullshit car. You know that people think is good. Now, yeah, they're like oh, yeah, no, this is not enough, I gotta drive a Bentley, you know. So I think really understanding what that pyramid looks like you know, in its truest form probably, is also important.

Eldar:

Complicated stuff. Don't worry, I'll save you. Thank you, Mike.

Mike:

Yeah, kyrus, I'm sorry, I couldn't add any value to your yeah.

Harris:

Oh, fuck you.

Mike:

No, I'm genuinely sorry.

Harris:

Oh fuck you man, I ain't that dumb.

Eldar:

What's so funny, man? All right, mike, thank you. Bye guys, All right Harris.

Harris:

What are your final?

Eldar:

thoughts on the subject.

Harris:

Got to work to get to the point of being good in life. Okay, takes work. You can't take the easy way out. Okay, since we're doing final thoughts, I got to plug this in, excuse me. Yes, for sure, totally.

Toliy:

Yeah, see, I don't even think that you need to get to a point where you've figured out a bunch of things. I just think that you need to get to a point where you've figured out a bunch of things. I just think that you need to get to a point where you, where you actually, um, have enough evidence to believe that it's possible. You know, yeah I, I think so too because once you do that, you get put on like a recurring program of learning yeah right and you start to enjoy the process of, of learning okay and that's a forever process.

Toliy:

No, no one like no one who's actually in a like a good place or or anything like that, like I actually will ever, will ever tell you that they finished learning or that, because I think that that's impossible.

Eldar:

Yeah.

Toliy:

To do that. You know.

Harris:

They already bought in.

Toliy:

Yeah and if you believe that you've done that, then you probably haven't learned a thing.

Harris:

Sick, you know yeah. Yeah, but some people need to learn how to manage life a little, a little better, man. Okay, that's fair.

Eldar:

All right, man. Well, we found out that this is a very sensitive topic.

Toliy:

Sensitive yeah, we'll give you hugs oh fuck you man.

Eldar:

Maybe a little bit premature, yeah, right.

Toliy:

Yeah, well, yeah, we can talk about it in like 4 or 5 years what the fuck?

Harris:

no he might be correcting his assessment. Does it take 4 or 5 years to figure out life man?

Eldar:

well, no, no, no, like to be able to just start figuring out yeah, just to start figuring out what we're talking about. Yeah, if you actively actually paying attention and listening and actually, you know, trying. Yeah, it might take even more, but that's okay, penny, give me the ball. So all right, guys, thank you so much. This was great. We definitely got some good gold nuggets here today. What do you mean Like good gold nuggets? Totally gave us, definitely blessed us.

Harris:

Oh, I see you doing a rock analogy there. I am doing a rock analogy, dennis rocks baby, Thank you.

Eldar:

Thanks for watching.