140. Turning Regret into a Teacher

How often do we find ourselves haunted by words we wish we could take back? In our latest episode, we venture into the tangled web of regret and guilty conscience. We ponder the big question: is it truly possible to sidestep these universal emotions? Through a mosaic of anecdotes and analysis, our exploration shines a light on how unguarded words and impulsive actions often spawn remorse. We challenge Harris's belief that constant self-monitoring is nearly impossible and highlight the potential for self-improvement through reflection and mindfulness.

Communication plays a pivotal role in navigating the murky waters of regret. Mistakes might be inevitable, but they're also golden opportunities for growth. We discuss the importance of being mindful in conversations, especially when dealing with oversharing or mistimed jokes. By examining our interactions and the emotional responses they trigger, we unlock the potential for refinement in our speech patterns. This episode invites you to harness your innate sense of right and wrong to drive personal development.

Regret, as we argue, is not an adversary but a valuable teacher. We delve into the misconception that change is exhausting, suggesting instead that failing to learn from mistakes can be more taxing in the long run. Our candid discussions highlight the transformative power of acknowledging missteps and embracing consistent efforts toward self-improvement. From minor lapses like neglecting chores to major life decisions, we explore how regret can serve as a catalyst for a more mindful and proactive existence. Join us in unpacking the complexity of regret and how it shapes our journey toward conscious living and fun.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Reflecting on Regret and Guilty Conscience
• 7:22 Navigating Feelings of Regret
• 15:51 Learning From Regret and Self-Reflection
• 26:19 Learning From Regret and Mistakes
• 30:52 Unpacking the Complexity of Regret
• 38:28 Parenting and Breaking the Cycle
• 50:40 Conscious Learning and Recognition
• 55:14 Developing Conscious Thinking and Awareness
• 1:09:24 Teaching Fun for Engagement
• 1:16:14 Discovering the Importance of Fun
• 1:20:35 Encouraging Fun and Exploring Value
• 1:24:59 Exploring the Fun Philosophy and Psychology
• 1:28:33 Reflecting on Regret and Conscious Thinking
• 1:35:10 Fun and Conscious Living

Transcript

Harris: 0:00

On this week's episode. Do you think we can ever get it under control to the point where we won't have regrets anymore? I think we can, harris.

Eldar: 0:09

I actually believe that. Yeah, I actually do.

Toliy: 0:12

You could have an anxiety about something. By you having that feeling to begin with, first, it means that you are making a conclusion.

Eldar: 0:18

See if you could put yourself in a position to first ask a question before feeling a particular type of way to first ask a question before feeling a particular type of way, if you did create this conscious state of mind, that it's already subconscious and now it's on almost automatic pilot. You're having a ton of fun, you're enjoying your life and you really are like fucking blissful, let's just say, all right guys, you guys ready, yeah, we're ready. All right guys, you guys ready, yeah, we're ready, all right. The topic of today is regret, or guilty conscience, and a lot of times, right, how do we get guilty conscience, or how do we start regretting things? Right?

Eldar: 0:59

I think you know, to kind of give you guys a very obvious thing you don't think before doing there you go, and most of the time it's our speech, right, it's us talking, saying something, right, doing something. And then we're like, oh man, I thought about this and now it's making me feel a regret, making me feel like guilty about something, or whatever. Whatever, just recently just happened to you, right, you were just interacting with totally. You made a joke, right, totally respond in a certain type of way. You started feeling a certain type of way. You started feeling guilty, you know, for saying it, and you felt a certain level of regret.

Harris: 1:32

We're not going to repeat what I said.

Eldar: 1:33

We're not going to repeat what you said. Yeah, it's not necessary, but I think that we all have examples of, you know, when we regret stuff that we said.

Harris: 1:44

I'm just going to state Okay, I thought I had right to say it.

Eldar: 1:48

All right, cause I just like the rest of you, archie, weewees.

Harris: 1:57

Well, we're all woke, we're not woke. Oh okay, we're all in the same boat. On the topic, I'm just going to state that Okay, that's weird man. Nonetheless, right, harris, stop it bro.

Eldar: 2:06

Nonetheless, you got to make a game, man. Listen, Harris. Nonetheless, you felt a certain type of way right, Despite of, maybe, all the facts right. And how do we? The question, I guess around it how do we prevent that from happening? A lot of times this happens, I think, more than we actually think to ourselves. Right, A lot of times we'll have a reaction right away, like Harris did. He's like, oh, he felt something right away and started feeling it. It's like, oh, you know, I didn't mean it like that. And then he started giving his little speech about the fact that we all in the same boat here and all this other crap we are dude, it doesn't matter, that context doesn't matter.

Eldar: 2:47

Or sometimes we can have a day or two, even right, maybe today in the morning, right, mike, you had an example where you had an interaction with your dad and maybe after not thinking about it right, the way you came across, or whatever you're like, oh shit, I shouldn't have said it like that. I shouldn't have said it like that. I should have said it like that. You have any regret or some guilty conscience or whatever it is. So totally definitely has an example as well. That was most recent and obviously I know how these things go and how they feel. They're not pleasant. We're clearly like, oh fuck, why didn't I think it through? Why didn't I do better? Why does it happen, do we?

Eldar: 3:27

learn from it. Should we be vigilant when it comes to our speech?

Harris: 3:33

Well, if that happens, bro.

Eldar: 3:37

I don't know. You didn't say anything just now.

Harris: 3:39

I don't even know if that's possible, man, you just think what's on your mind.

Eldar: 3:44

You know what I'm saying Well, that's a very interesting take, Harris. You're saying that it's not possible to prevent feeling regret or guilty conscience.

Harris: 3:52

I don't think you can watch your words right, Everything you say every second of the fucking day, dude, okay.

Eldar: 4:01

Should we try? Oh, let's just Go ahead, mike.

Harris: 4:03

Sorry, it's not like the thing that you speak. Where did it come from? Come from your fucking head, dude. Okay, and where does that come from? I don't fucking know. Your brain, dude, like you, don't just your stomach.

Eldar: 4:16

Do you have? Do you have? Do you have Tourette's?

Harris: 4:20

No, I'm not trying to be offensive, no I don't have to rest.

Eldar: 4:21

So when you're saying stuff, you're saying stuff because you thought about it and you spoke it, right.

Harris: 4:24

Yeah, it's not like we're going to fucking double, you know. Think about it twice and then say, oh yeah, that's a good idea. Well, how do you know that? Did you ever have a thing? Your brain is programmed a certain way, right Okay?

Eldar: 4:38

yeah sure, but you know how you're working on sales right now. We just had an example of this thing that you're talking about, that you say it's automatic that you can't fix it. We just had this example just today that you actually proved that you can fix it. Oh yeah, which one? Is that In the car just now? What the fuck are you talking about?

Harris: 4:57

Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?

Eldar: 4:59

Well, think about it. You said yo, I'm never driving with Tommy again, yeah. Why did you say that? Because you said yo, I'm never driving with Tommy again, yeah. Why did you say that?

Harris: 5:08

Because you had an experience. I had a bad experience with him driving and you did not enjoy it.

Eldar: 5:11

I did not enjoy it. Maybe you didn't regret it, but you probably did. Yeah, absolutely that you let him drive yeah. You mentioned to me like yo, why don't you tell me to drive, because I hate Tommy's driving. And what did I tell you?

Harris: 5:20

It's not just his driving, it's his driving experience. He's an arrogant driver, it's hot as hell in the car Right. He doesn't turn the air on Me and Mike roll down the windows. He rolls the windows up two minutes fucking later. I'm like yo, it's fucking.

Eldar: 5:42

You know it's a horrible experience, but based on what you just said five minutes ago. You said you can't do nothing about it. You said you can't really change much right? That means you kind of got to keep driving with Tommy and keep taking it deep.

Harris: 5:55

Well, no, that's fucking different, dude. How is that different? That's an experience, right? You can say something right, and you know not to say that specific thing again. Yeah, but there is an 80% possibility you're going to say something else, fucking stupid. You're going to learn from that fucking mistake.

Toliy: 6:13

And you know not to say that again.

Harris: 6:15

But the question to you, harry, and the question is can you think, or think twice before speaking? Every fucking word you speak.

Eldar: 6:24

Well, look, remember that one time when Catherine came in and she asked me for something and I said no, and you were like oh shit. You were baffled at the fact that I said no. You know why you were baffled? Because your mind has been conditioned that you can't say no to women, right? You said that to me, hey, you can't say no to your girls, you can't say no to your girls.

Toliy: 6:42

You can't say no to your girlfriend or your wife, or whatever.

Eldar: 6:45

Because what I was taught, that yeah, you was taught that because you also tried it and many times you got involved.

Harris: 6:51

I'm taking the shirt.

Eldar: 6:53

And many times what happened? You got in trouble, right? Yeah, you got in trouble for talking. So after some time you've been conditioned to not do that again, so you don't get in trouble, so you don't feel guilty or regret afterwards, right? So there is a way to condition your mind right, and then your brain and then your reaction to certain things. Is that an example of that or no? I guess yeah, okay. So, yes, it might be very difficult for you to be able to concentrate and really pay attention and focus on everything that you say and pay attention to it. However, it's possible you're saying An example is sales.

Eldar: 7:36

Right, in the beginning you were on automatic pilot, just want to recite what totally told you to say. You just wanted to mindlessly recite it, and then you were seeing that you were not getting the results that you wanted. So you're like, okay, cool, like this is not working. Maybe I should pay attention to what I say, pay attention to what they say, and maybe tweak it a little bit. And you started to tweak it and it started to sound better.

Harris: 8:00

Yeah.

Eldar: 8:00

You started to think. So isn't that also an example that we can actually pay attention to our speech pattern and what we say and how we say, so we can get a better result?

Harris: 8:13

Yeah, but what? Doing that with every word you say seems hard For sure.

Eldar: 8:24

It's not only every word. You don't get in trouble or have regrets every single moment. I mean you do, yeah, but for now right, but I don't go around thinking like 24 7 on edge like thinking what I say.

Eldar: 8:40

Yeah, sometimes I'll blur out some stupid shit or whatever, like I shouldn't have said that or whatever, but most of the time I'm like free flowing. You know what I mean. It takes time, I think, but I think it is possible, because I and you guys obviously feel the same thing of regret and it doesn't feel good, yes or no? It does not feel good, no. Can we have a consensus that it doesn't feel good? Her hair is my like I'm not sure. Are you addicted to regret or no, no, okay fine you know.

Eldar: 9:14

So I mean, ultimately, what are we trying? What are we talking about here? We're talking about, uh, positioning ourselves or behaving in such a way where we can get exactly what we want out of the world right and out of ourselves as well. But the feeling of regret that we receive, right, it's because we probably said something stupid, did something stupid, right. And then we're seeing the reactions of people right, bouncing back into us and be like oh shit, that doesn't make me feel good.

Toliy: 9:39

Like. There's different, I think, types of like, regret or guilty, conscious, right, but some of them you could regret in the moment. But I guess the overarching picture is that it's a learning experience.

Eldar: 10:00

It could be a learning experience. Yeah, Not always is it?

Toliy: 10:04

Well, I think it always consciously or unconsciously contributes towards something you know Sure. It might not be like learn from that one time, but it could definitely like five of those times, right? Could like add up to maybe one time of change, right, okay, eventually.

Eldar: 10:24

Yeah, why do you think we have that Like, why do we think we have this response? Well, first, off.

Toliy: 10:30

There's like not understanding maybe what happened, or, like you know you could be feeling some type of way, but not like yeah, like not understand what exactly happened and what you should and shouldn't be feeling, you know um, but it doesn't it almost point to the fact that, like, if we have instant regret, almost right or whatever, it is like we kind of it's installed on us to feel, to know what's right and wrong.

Eldar: 10:59

Well, my question was going to be is it is a regret? Is that a recollection, like a thing where we feel that it's wrong, but, but sometimes we feel that it's wrong, maybe because of the other person's reaction, but not all the time right. Like sometimes we feel regret, but it's like we don't know how that person interpreted it. Yeah, right, I'd have feelings where sometimes I'll say something and it doesn't land in a bad way, but you know what you did, but I know what I did. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Is that a recollection?

Toliy: 11:29

you think what's like an example?

Eldar: 11:31

I don't know, like a joke maybe or something where.

Harris: 11:34

Like I just did. Well, no, that was clear. So I think totally pointed out to you. It was a joke, but maybe.

Eldar: 11:41

Why are you so sensitive? Yeah, man, and I think totally he was joking back with you.

Toliy: 11:46

I don't know, man so you had a reverse.

Eldar: 11:49

What's his name?

Toliy: 11:50

Reverse psychology. Yeah, you had a meatloaf in the brain experience, are you done?

Harris: 11:57

man.

Eldar: 11:58

Yeah. So, like I was saying, like yeah, like no, I think what an example is of of regret or guilty conscious when you're having a conversation with somebody and you overshare something, right, and then you're like, fuck, I overshared, but that person maybe not picked it up or you guys didn't make a big deal out of it, but regardless, internally you feel that you made a mistake, even though it might not been acknowledged by that person, or maybe they you didn't hurt that person's feelings or anything like that.

Eldar: 12:29

But you regret of hurting yourself. You know that you put yourself in a situation where you overshared and now you're in trouble.

Toliy: 12:35

But it would only, you would only feel that if there no no no really you don't have a result.

Eldar: 12:44

No, the result, the result not always necessarily comes within that moment.

Harris: 12:47

I'm not gonna lie, I've experienced it before oh, there you go.

Eldar: 12:51

Like a result, meaning what? Like an instant physical manifestation of kind of something?

Toliy: 12:55

well, like, like. If you overshared, something, then like, like I've experienced it before like, without getting some kind of like, some kind of like, some kind of like emotion or feedback or words back, I think it's difficult to get a feeling.

Harris: 13:13

I've said something before, I'm not going to say what it was. And then I thought to myself why the fuck did I just say that? There you go. Are you going to give an example? No, I'm not Okay.

Eldar: 13:24

Even though you didn't't, nobody gave you like any shit back.

Harris: 13:27

It's like they didn't even hear it.

Eldar: 13:28

But I was thinking to myself, why the fuck did I say there you go, there you go, like not in that kind of way, though yeah, no, yeah yeah, sometimes you slip up and the person who you slept up in front of, they might not be aware of that, but you yourself become aware and you're like fuck.

Toliy: 13:48

You start you know being oh, in that kind of way yeah, okay yeah, well, yeah, they definitely have that kind of stuff too yeah, well, like you can acknowledge you messed up, but I don't think that you have like regret in that kind of scenario.

Eldar: 13:59

Yes, you do. Yeah, absolutely regret for oversharing, that's a slip up. And you're like, fuck, why did I do this?

Toliy: 14:04

I fucking didn't pay attention, like in that case I would be like yo, like that was stupid of me. Well, yeah, that's what it is, but I wouldn't like have a feeling of regret because, like, there was no like, uh, no like reaction to it, because there's no reaction right now doesn't mean there's gonna be a reaction later. I think that regret still okay so then we can't say that it went over the person's head. The person did hear it, they know what happened, they just didn't say anything.

Eldar: 14:30

No, not necessarily. Like I said, it could be one of those things where you shouldn't have been doing that, but you did it anyway. Even if something doesn't come back to you, you still know, okay, I've set this rule for myself that I'm not going to do this. But then you did it and then you realize that like, oh shit, like what's wrong with me? Yeah regret is not necessarily have to have another person have a reaction to it or acknowledge it.

Eldar: 14:50

I think it's like internally, like you said if you set an intention for yourself then you hurt yourself. You know, you regret it Okay, yeah.

Eldar: 14:57

Okay, you regret it. So I mean, it's almost an internal compass to a degree, right, like you said, maybe it's the soul, almost Like hey, your soul kind of knows what's right and what's wrong, right, and in that moment maybe you somehow tap into it. Sometimes it bounces back right at you from the person or from whoever you're hanging out with and you're like, oh shit, it's an instant thing. And sometimes it's not instant, sometimes it's a little bit later, like you didn't know right, like in the morning you said, hey, like I was not really paying attention, but then you bounced it off of me and I gave you all the sense of regret, let's just say, based on the reasoning that we gave you. I didn't give it to you, you gave it to yourself, but I was like, hey, oh shit, like yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. That also happens where sometimes you don't even see that this is going on.

Eldar: 15:45

It's completely went over your head that happens probably most of the time that we don't exactly even feel. I think that this is this is a very good point, which I was going to that I think there's something embodied in us that we kind of know what's internally correct, what's right. We just have to get there, and the faster we get there, I think, the faster we start feeling these types of pains, like regret, guilty conscience, right, so then they can become maybe close enemies. You know if it's like a paradoxical thing where they're like, sure they're enemies because we don't like the way it feels, but we have to get them to be close enough to us for them to guide us, to be like yo, look, you're still slipping up, are you an idiot? Good reminders, good reminders, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. I think that's a good way, right, unless you're fucking a moron, right, and you're addicted to cognitive dissonance.

Toliy: 16:34

Oh yeah.

Eldar: 16:34

No, like after that hard conversation today, I didn't feel like, oh, regret. But I didn't feel like angry or something about it. I felt like, okay, I got to do better, yeah, and I want to do better, yeah. It wasn't like, oh, fuck, this guy's my enemy. Like, fuck you, regret it's more like a learning kind of thing, yeah, but nonetheless there was some feelings about it. Yeah absolutely Like. Why did I do that? Or why did?

Toliy: 16:59

I say that.

Eldar: 17:00

I say that I didn't do it this way, you know. Because when we reasoned through it, you realized there was a better option. Yeah, absolutely you know. Yeah, I think we do get a lot into these types of situations.

Harris: 17:12

Mm-hmm.

Eldar: 17:12

You know where you know.

Harris: 17:15

Yeah, you checked out bud. No, all right, fine, but Want a pizza? Want a pizza? I'm good. It takes a lot of work to fix the problem, you could say, because obviously our brains are not programmed. Do you think it's worth it or it's not worth the squeeze? I mean it's probably worth it, but you got to think. You know we're human, right, even if we get it fixed up most of the time, let's say patched up right, there's still going to be slip ups. Okay, because after all, we're fucking human.

Eldar: 17:57

When you sit there, you know why, before every Friday, when totally says hey, we're about to have a phone call review, you know what your first thing is Like? Oh fuck, you know what that is? Because you internally already know that the phone calls that we're about to review were incorrect, which I kind of you acknowledged this, I acknowledged it, but Uh-huh, this week wasn't really a lot.

Harris: 18:26

Sure, sure, sure.

Eldar: 18:29

Even though you overreacted. How did that happen, now that this week wasn't a lot of issues?

Harris: 18:34

We already discussed this.

Toliy: 18:35

Man, I wasn't there Well first off, we only listened to four calls that actually converted into meetings, yeah, but hearing the results of it.

Harris: 18:46

all right, the percentages and all this shit. I saw myself some improvements. Sure, all right.

Eldar: 18:57

Confirmed by us. Yeah, oh, so a change is possible, but see.

Toliy: 19:02

I feel like it's maybe it's like in the way that we've learned things, but I feel like the biggest, what one of the biggest, I think, misconceptions in this is that we tell ourselves that it's a lot of work to to make this change. This is what harris is saying. I think well, well, no, no, he, he said, but it's a lot of work to uh, yeah well, no to to to to do this, but I think it's the opposite. It's. It's actually a lot of work to not learn and not oh yeah, why over a period of like.

Toliy: 19:32

Think about it, for example right, we have call reviews every friday. That's, let's just say, four to five times um a month, right, um, and you know, every month this is happening, right, and then we have like an end of month meeting. So we're talking about, we're meeting about this like probably an average of five times a month. All right, um. And then we're also planning things, making new moves, like making changes, make doing different things, right.

Toliy: 20:01

So it's either like we hit our head five times a month and continue to do it, like continue doing this, continue feeling this way, right, or we decide to make like we, or or, for example, if you're the one that's like having a bad time in it, or you decide to to make a change and to invest the time to actually learn, to actually ask questions, right, um, to uh, um, to do that, like on the last call review we, we had, like I said, like throughout the week, you should be coming up to me non-stop asking me like, hey, this prospect said this, I, I said that, was that correct? Or like you know this or that, right, to constantly ask me questions to the point where I have to like almost like, tell you like, hey, we have to schedule time and then we go over like a list of it unfortunately I haven't had a lot of calls that were long enough to do that well, well, I mean, you have enough calls.

Toliy: 20:56

There's also a lot of people telling you no, to fuck off. Right, you could say why? Why is this happening? Why is this? Right? There's plenty of things to like learn and understand, right, and taking the time to actually do that like not only will it prevent those five times a week where it's like suffering happens. If you want to say it that right, it can, uh, like, have a huge impact on propelling you forward, right? I?

Eldar: 21:21

think that what he's saying is that you don't have to have you know five times a month. A good time. Let's just say where we you know. We help you understand what's going on. You can almost do it daily. It's like brushing your teeth, right. If you go through the steps of understanding and learning, I think then you'll have less regret on Fridays where you're sitting there like, oh fuck, I should have said this.

Harris: 21:43

I'm going to be honest with you. Leading up to this point, right this week, there were, of course, the thoughts in my mind right, am I really fucking cut out for this, am I? But seeing this week now, I'm thinking, shit, I might eventually be good at this, you know, because you know it wasn't this week. This week is not the most meetings I booked, but, like, we talked about More meaningful meetings Yesterday. Right, yeah, I might not have booked the right meetings, but I'm not booking people that are obviously newbies or don't have the fucking funds and all this shit.

Harris: 22:25

Yeah, correct. So at first I didn't like that. I was not booking as many meetings, right, it was like four this week, right, in my mind I was going, that's nothing. But then, having totally come up to me three times, go, hey, turned into demo, turned into demo, turned into demo. Quality over quantity yeah, I was like holy shit. You know, these are the first meetings I've had that turned into demo. Well, I can't really say that, because we had the guy that dropped something off at your mailbox, but that was a simple, easy, nonetheless.

Harris: 23:02

Yeah, okay nonetheless, but this is the first time my cold calls have turned into something, your efforts turn into something that's right so good, I just wanted to state that, alright so why don't you bring it to the point?

Eldar: 23:22

what's the point? What is totally trying to tell you, and why did you make that to the point? What's the point? What is totally trying to tell you and what? Why'd you make?

Harris: 23:26

that right. The point is, every Friday leading up to the call review, I have the regret, right, like I probably fucked up on something and I assume I fucked up on shit, yeah, a lot of shit yeah, and I regret before even hearing the's, your fucking calls yeah yeah, what's the big problem? Yeah, I do have, and people have told me I have this fucking problem. I'm sure a lot of people do as well. Is you automatically start thinking before you even get into the situation, jump into conclusions? Yes, yeah, so.

Eldar: 24:04

And then you, you might even have regret over that right. You're like why did I jump into conclusion? Why did I have all these feelings and emotions?

Harris: 24:11

That's not bad at all. This is not bad. There you go, Like I, I don't know man. I even got a props from Eldar and somewhat of a props from Tully. Yeah, Not a lot Well you have to understand that.

Eldar: 24:29

You have to remember, at least for us, right, when we do these call reviews, we're going to try to call things for what they are. We're not going to try to trick you into saying like you just had a good call. We're not going to call it a bad call. You know what I mean. We're going to try to call it for what it is. Yeah, you know, and if we see improvement, we should give you proper feedback. We're not going to hold it back if you fuck up.

Eldar: 24:47

I think that we're just confirming what you're already feeling internally, which like I'm a fuck up. Well, yeah, bro, you fucked up. Here's where, here's why. So you can learn for the next thing, and I think that's what we're talking about when it comes to this topic of regret, right, if you don't want to keep feeling these regrets or guilty consciousness, right, uh, guilty conscience, uh, I think you can do certain preventative care, right, by thinking things through, by learning things right, to make sure that you have more careful output into the world. So then, the input, the input that you receive, or external input that you get, it's going to be more desirable, but you have to pay attention. Yes, it is maybe hard, but totally is even challenging to say listen, bro, you know what I mean, the efforts that we put in to fucking do it wrong. It's a lot harder.

Toliy: 25:34

That's always like in people's lives who are like a numb nuts right or like at certain times. If you're a numb nuts right, like Right.

Toliy: 25:58

Or like at certain times if you're a numb nuts, right, Like that's fucking textbook, Like you, uh, um, you had a test that you know about in three weeks. You have three weeks to do it to the last minute. And how do you feel? Feel stressed, Like an idiot. You have so much time to do this right. Got to space it out Whatever it is right, Like we experienced that plenty of times on projects and tests in school and stuff like that.

Toliy: 26:19

And then, like I remember, on my not on my main table, but um, on, like, uh, like the, uh, a counter space I have towards like a oven, like there, there was some kind of like uh, I don't even remember what it was but something there that I should have cleaned, cleaned up, right, yeah, right, yeah, and I'm just like I'll clean it up after, like you know, right, um, and I ended up not not leaving it and it left some kind of permanent mark there. Nice, you know, that's the reason I'm like what the fuck? You know, like, yeah, little actions, you could have cleaned it up, it wouldn't have been there right but instead you were a fucking dumbass and you got a dumbass fucking result from it.

Toliy: 27:00

Yeah right, um, or like there's plenty of times you were, you remind me also to like water.

Toliy: 27:05

The fucking rose, yeah, plant you know you were so you know you were so fucking anal about it yeah, so anal about it and then like there's plenty, and then it just fucking left my mind I didn't do it. And like again I could say I didn't do it or something, but like I could have fucking scheduled reminders, just so you could automatically schedule a daily reminder at, let's just say, 8 pm. Go water it outside, yeah Right. And then you have regret after if it's dead or if it's not looking good. You know, I mean you'll, you can get over it and stuff like that, and that might be like a learning thing, right.

Eldar: 27:39

But, but that's the part of it. Is that that hurt, that you get, yes, the regret?

Toliy: 27:44

that you get and the shitty results you get. Or like again like cleaning of, like a home right, you can wait till everything's already fucked up and then try to bang it all out at one time and then feel all these fucking stressors and this and that.

Toliy: 28:04

Laziness and exhaustion and like be mad or upset about whatever right right, or you could actually just do it in time and do a little bit each time, right, yeah, and then not overwhelm yourself and not have these kinds of experiences. So I think as you grow out of being a dumb nuts like you, you don't like the. The amount of times that this happens in general slims down more and more as you become a respectable person.

Eldar: 28:34

That's very good. Should regret almost be our guide.

Toliy: 28:38

Well, I mean, regret is a natural somewhat teacher, teacher, yeah, you know, but you ideally want to be like in like a better scenario than it being, I think, your guide. Because if it's your guide, then, like you constantly have to fucking like experience yeah hit your head and experience these like painful scenarios, you know.

Toliy: 29:03

Or again, like you think it's more work, but it's it's actually not. Because when you look at any of these things, I guarantee you you, you spend more time like pissed off, upset and like stressed out than you did If you would have just slowly learned a little bit. Like like, for example, like learning about like I don't know, let's just say like sales wise, like learning about the product, right, yeah, fitting in all that learning in one week? Probably not doable, right, yeah? But say like, hey, this week I'm just going to learn about what kind of envelopes are out there and why do people use different sizes. Yeah, okay, like, you learn about this, you learn about that.

Toliy: 29:39

Next week you maybe learn about paper. Right, you do learn about paper. Right, you do a little bit at a time. You have to learn about this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing. Yeah, yeah, um, you know, but there's also like uh, um in. In doing that there's also a lot of like ego at play too, and so like thinking that you could do certain things in certain amounts of time, yeah. Or like not valuing like the steadiness of things, like it's also like a big variable.

Eldar: 30:13

Yeah, that makes sense for sure, okay. Well then you're almost saying that everything is again. I think at least I'm coming to the conclusion that regret is a very justified feeling to an individual who's maybe egotistical, arrogant, right and has to learn through these types of pains. Right, because if you weren't right, if you took the time to learn to do the right thing right, you would not be facing these types of emotions and feelings. Well, the regret is like it's the result.

Toliy: 30:43

It's the result. It's the grade.

Eldar: 30:44

It's the result it's the grade, it's always going to be the end of the line.

Toliy: 30:46

Yeah.

Eldar: 30:47

It's not going to be the first thing. I guess it's like.

Toliy: 30:52

Well, I almost feel that the way I'm thinking about it now is that regret feels like the so. So I feel like there's people that do do like, for example, let's say, not so good things right, and they don't feel the regret 100, those two, those do exist as well. So that, that, that also exists they're even further.

Eldar: 31:15

Yeah, they're even further.

Toliy: 31:16

So I think the reason that that happens is because it's almost like like the painful regrets of um, like it's almost, I feel like, in some ways, like the recognition of some kind of like bad ego thing that's happening. It's like the far dust of the ego the far dust dust, yeah, like of the ego, like it's like um, I feel like it's some kind of like explosion happening right for you to actually um, um recognize, like for you to recognize what you did. It's almost a split second like kind of like feeling of like um a you versus you, kind of like like recognition, right, like like what you did was bad and you recognize it. How's that?

Eldar: 32:07

possible.

Toliy: 32:07

Yeah, right, yeah, like in the example of oversharing, like there was one person that was going, they overshared, and then there's that same person that's recognizing it. How's that possible, for example?

Eldar: 32:20

Well, yeah, what I'm going to say is that I think that the dilemma here is that there is the conscious mind and there's a subconscious mind. A lot of times, oh yeah.

Toliy: 32:31

Then it's like the conscious mind recognizes. The subconscious mind was like running amok, correct, no, yeah but it's the person who's actually your true character.

Eldar: 32:42

is a person who's running amok. And the person who is probably the one who has your best interest, but is not actually who you act out of, is the person who's running amok. And the person who is probably the one who has your best interest, but is not actually who you act out of, is the one who's reminding you yeah, yeah, but that's the thing.

Toliy: 32:53

I don't know if you actually are one or like the other. You know how. So Well, because like I don't see how it could be that you're actually that person only.

Harris: 33:07

Mike, you're saying there's two personalities.

Eldar: 33:12

Yeah, I'm saying there is two different things at play here. You called it the conscious, unconscious. Subconscious, yeah, subconscious, conscious, yeah. The person who didn't clean that thing is like now I'm tired, now I'm busy, I'll do it later, it's not a rush, right? That person is convincing whoever is, you know, checked in at the time that this is the right thing to do. And then the person on the other end who finds the problem is like yo, what did you do? Right?

Toliy: 33:38

Yeah, but you said like that's who you really are.

Eldar: 33:43

Yeah, because your actions stay directly exactly who you are stay directly exactly no, but your action also recognize something as well.

Toliy: 33:48

That's actually you didn't.

Eldar: 33:50

No, you didn't, actually didn't recognize it, you just recognized it. But your action isn't. Action is the act of doing it, right? No, but you do. Afterwards he's saying that you also are that person, because you actually realized what you did so the regret comes in. That's also you, that's also part of you. Yeah, yeah so it's not like one is true and one is not.

Eldar: 34:09

I think that the two people exist moment to moment, by simultaneously, almost. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's like there's one moment and then there's another moment, and those both moments identify you. For that moment, right, there's a moment of you where you actually did the action, committed the crime, and then there's another person who acknowledged the crime. It was regret and sorry for it. Two different people, but nonetheless they're. Oh, it's definitely within you, right? But the person who did, who behaves that way, right, is the one who you're more inclined to know. Well, no, why you say that like, why you would have to tell me that, okay, 51 of the time is that person, like, quantify that. You know what I mean. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The more the behaviors are, more in line with that person. If that's the case, if that's actually the case, then you can say yes, probably yes.

Harris: 34:58

That person is more of this guy than the other.

Eldar: 35:00

That's what I'm saying it's very hard to quantify.

Harris: 35:03

You know yeah.

Eldar: 35:04

I just view it more of like the Action to action. There's so many actions out there, you know.

Toliy: 35:08

So many behaviors. I view it more as, like the conscious mind recognizes, like a subconscious action, right, but I'm still convinced that that, like, no matter what the scale is, I like what's more of you, like I don't know, like I what's more of you, like I don't, like I feel like the ability to recognize these kinds of things, um, I think holds a higher, like a higher weight than the person who's doing them.

Eldar: 35:37

Um, like subconscious things, yeah, but it all depends on the thing is if you're acknowledging that, the fact that there's a person that's in you that is doing them. How many times are those things being done without being conscious of them being done as well? Sure, there's a moment of time where you sometimes recognize like oh yeah, that was wrong, but there's also times where you don't recognize it that it was wrong.

Toliy: 35:58

That's why you were in trouble in the first place. Yeah, but I also think that the connection of actually taking action, that like the connection of actually taking action, like like If you take in the proper course of action, sure, but then you almost say, okay, what is the result?

Eldar: 36:13

Okay, if you took it once is one thing, but have you conditioned that proper action going forward? So you're not committing the same?

Toliy: 36:18

But that's what I'm saying.

Eldar: 36:19

I think Mike is saying that if you constantly doing it and I agree with this if you constantly doing it and you're not learning, then that is more part of you and that is your identity. Yeah, I agree with this, as long as it's a continuous, it's a majority, Like if you one time we use this example if you one time did this behavior, which is you leave something unattended and then it becomes a problem with the cleaning, for example, right, yes, yeah in his case, no, that's his personality.

Toliy: 36:44

That's all I was saying. Yeah, no, the ham hog the dirt bag that's the personality Him acknowledging it, so what?

Harris: 36:51

Yeah, so what the truth of?

Eldar: 36:53

the matter is that's going to happen again. He just gave me two examples. I gave him 200 examples the rose and the table right? That's just two examples. Yeah, the truth of the matter is that's him. He's embodiment of this thing.

Eldar: 37:03

Just because you acknowledge the fact that, oh, I did this and so what? You didn't correct the behavior and it's still in you, right, for example, you've been hammering yourself for a very long time with food, right, and what are you doing now? You're undoing certain things and then you're reconditioning the way you eat. Long enough you're going to be identified as the power breakfast guy or the power whatever lunch guy, that you're eating more, cleaner, and that's just who you are. I think that takes over and then you become that new identity. There's a gym flip-flopper.

Toliy: 37:35

You called me for a long time, for a very long time, mike was a flip-flopper for the gym. Exactly. This is who.

Eldar: 37:39

I was. And yeah, you know what?

Toliy: 37:48

I mean, that's kind of the identity Same thing, just because you acknowledge it, yeah, does not turn the personality. Yeah, I just feel that like sometimes people acknowledge things right and then they have like internal like, almost like misinformation, or like they don't have internal belief that like yeah, like they're convinced that like oh, doing something about this is way too hard, sure. Like oh, doing something about this is way too hard, sure. So then they kind of like steer themselves away and try to figure out all these like other ways to like do shit. Yeah, when it comes to like okay, if you just go about it, do it. The slow, like what's viewed upon again is like the slow and steady way, right, um, it's much faster than doing it.

Eldar: 38:25

And some other like fucking like no, you drill that point to the end. I think I agree with you. I agree with you 100% there. That's also that's for sure. But that's also that's like a belief system. You have to have right. Well, no, no. I think that's the truth of the matter it is the truth of the matter. But if you'd like to employ that, you'd have to have it as part of something you believe in right, yeah sure.

Toliy: 38:49

That's what I'm saying, though, is I feel like a lot of people have fear, have these particular fears that like, hey, this is either way too hard, or I can't do this, or like, oh man, like this right. And then they, over and over again, will mess up on that same thing right, sabotage themselves and feel that pain, what they sabotage themselves.

Toliy: 39:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a self-sabotage thing where it's like you are capable of doing a lot of these things. It's just a matter of slowing down and thinking about things and not making these conclusions or decisions, because the person that makes the most conclusions and the most decisions without thinking, like these people, are going to suffer over and over again with the same things you know rightfully so.

Toliy: 39:34

Yeah, it's deserving yeah, but I'm I'm more curious as to like where does this thinking come to to begin with? Like, how, like, like I I view it as, like the mass population has this kind of problem and this specific way of thinking, like leaving things towards the end, not being consistent, squeezing everything towards the very end, let's say like parting hard, but is that a byproduct?

Eldar: 40:04

is that a result? Well, he's asking what's the origin of it. How do so many people, let's say, like partying hard, but is that a byproduct? Is that a result? Like uh?

Toliy: 40:09

well, he's asking where. What's the origin of it? How do so many people have the same, like belief, for example?

Eldar: 40:14

because people are not living out the lives that they actually would want to live. Everybody's doing a lot of shit that they don't actually want to be doing, but they did for other reasons. You go to a job you hate. You come home, you drink yourself, you smoke yourself, you eat yourself, whatever to fucking pacify, right.

Eldar: 40:29

But if you actually go to a job that you love, well, no, but I'm not, but I'm not even talking about that well, I'm saying that these people this is happening because people actually don't want to do the things they're doing in school why did you not study for tests, for those tests that you didn't like? Because you didn't like, because you didn't like them?

Toliy: 40:49

You didn't want to study those things.

Eldar: 40:50

He's saying that the reason why this comes about in the first place is because you got bamboozled. You bamboozled yourself to doing things that you shouldn't be doing in the first place.

Toliy: 40:59

And that's why you're in this predicament.

Eldar: 41:00

I mean that's like a classic procrastination. Well, yeah. Yeah well, yeah, yeah, but I also think that, like um, or you're living out stuff that you cannot control now, but you're already in it.

Toliy: 41:14

Yeah, you can't undo it instantly, but I also feel that like you also don't understand how to see the good, like, good things in like, um, like, like, what's viewed upon as like uh, like, uh, you know, like as not fun things, I guess, right, like like, I don't know well, yeah because you've, like mike said.

Eldar: 41:35

I said I think you've already set yourself up for failure by making certain choices in life and now you have to live them out. Almost you're not deserving to be able to see things for what they are. Is what you're asking for to see things for what they are? Yeah, you're not supposed to. You're deserving to be able to see things for what they are. Is what you're asking for? To see things for what they are? Yeah, you're not supposed to. You're supposed to be afraid of the little things that actually are the easiest thing to do.

Toliy: 41:53

Yeah, but I feel like it happens at such an early age. Sure, oh, yes, yeah, sure, you're pretty young, you start school, you teach that behavior.

Eldar: 42:00

Not even school, I think, start disciplining your parents, start disciplining you telling you to do this? Why do it? I don't care, just do it and you go and you do shit that you don't understand why you're doing it.

Toliy: 42:10

What do you think?

Eldar: 42:11

Harris, all these things that he's telling us right now. He's like yo, but the world's telling me this is the right way. And you're like wait, what the fuck? Where'd you learn this? Or John told me, or somebody else told me Where's my Like? That's been installed in him and now he's coming into the world where the world's completely different and he's bouncing the same ideas off and they're not sticking. And you're like wait, what the fuck? Completely need to unlearn the whole process that he's invited into himself.

Harris: 42:37

Yeah, so, Harris, you're still here.

Eldar: 42:52

Yeah, but the to happen first before he can even understand what you're asking for. You're asking for a more like a complicated situation. Seeing things for what they are, like yo dude, like the things that we're talking about here, like learning and stuff, it's going to be actually much easier than going through the pain that you have to go through you gotta know, but he earned this pain bro. He has to go through crazy pain yeah, so?

Toliy: 43:03

so why do you think that, like the way that humans are, like, I guess like built or like composed, that, like when you're so young, for example, like if you get like yeah, it seems like children and the young generation, like in a general right, is heavily reliant on whoever's taking care of them to do right by them. Oh, are you kidding me? Right? So you're kidding me. Why do you think that humans are composed in that kind of way? Is it because, like, like you know, you said like the difference between like humans and like other stuff, or is it right? Is that, like, we're social creatures and we're getting the punishment of poor social things being continuously passed down? Or like, what? Like, like, yeah, like. Why? Why, like, you get born into this world, right, and then, like, you're most likely going to have to go through a ton of like, ptsd and suffering and live out so much pain because of like, whatever situation you're in.

Eldar: 44:09

Yeah, but nonetheless, despite of the fact that you painted a very gloomy outlook for all the new upcomers, I think that there's one thing that you can rule out is the fact that your soul is the soul and the soul has all the body of knowledge of the truth about the world and the whole universe and reality, the body of knowledge of the truth about the world and the whole universe and reality. And no matter how hard you try to brainwash the motherfuckers into believing some falsehood, some bullshit, right, the pain is the pain. You're going to have to go and undo all that nonsense to clean yourself and come back to the origin?

Toliy: 44:40

No, but that's what I'm saying. Is that like why do you need? Why, what?

Eldar: 44:43

are you talking about? Like original sin or something?

Toliy: 44:45

I don't know bro.

Eldar: 44:46

That's a tough question. That's a hard yeah. That's like how did this happen to us and why does this continue to be?

Eldar: 44:51

a perpetual cycle, Well look, you know this right. Paint me a picture. You know this right now. Paint me a picture how you're raising your kid. You can't use the word anxiety in it. You can't use the word fear in it. Yeah, but that's all you fucking know. How are you going to do it? He's going to climb the tree right now. Archie was eating the bone right now. You know what you were doing. You were wide-eyed like this yeah, how are you going to raise the kid? He wants to climb the tree? You let him climb the tree and break his arm. He's going to put them in a bubble and break your pinky.

Harris: 45:29

Shit happens, you break bones, wow Well hold on one second.

Eldar: 45:32

I'll give them the answers here, all right, what are we doing?

Toliy: 45:35

Well, I guess maybe you do your best to explain Well there you go.

Eldar: 45:40

You see that you do your best. Yeah, but it sounds like your best is going to be very mediocre.

Harris: 45:46

Right, can't stop climbing the tree. Let them climb the tree.

Eldar: 45:50

Well, you will let them climb the tree right. If they fall, they fall, they hurt themselves or whatever.

Toliy: 45:53

Yeah, fucking right man.

Harris: 45:54

I climbed a fucking tree when I was a kid. John climbed a tree when he was a kid. I think you're still climbing it, dude.

Toliy: 45:58

Yeah, I think you're still on that fucking tree all climb the tree.

Harris: 46:03

Mangoes and fucking prunes, mangoes and mangoes.

Eldar: 46:05

Yeah, if it's not tall, let them climb the tree dude. Yeah, like who has to raise the kids? Like you're not going to take your kid right and let the forest, kind of like, put them in the forest and let the bears and natural order, kind of like, take its place right, like you're going to do it out of your body of knowledge.

Toliy: 46:24

Yeah, but, and your body of knowledge is very limited, yes, yes, I don't know. Then, like, if the perfect person or perfect couple ever exists. There you go To ever raise a perfect. You know, there you go.

Eldar: 46:35

But you are at least based on what you know, based on what you discuss here, you already understand that yo, like I, got to be very careful here because I can taint somebody's fucking life and ruin it for a period of time, up until they start becoming critical thinkers and start removing some of this fucking nonsense that we've created.

Toliy: 46:53

It could also just be like hey, the purpose of life is this fucking challenge. Right To fucking figure shit out and to understand what's actually happening and then, if you're able to break through, then you're able to enjoy life more. If you're not able to break through, then you're able to enjoy life more. If you're not able to break through, you're just going to keep suffering until you die. Damn Harris.

Eldar: 47:13

Harris don't worry man, food is soon. Yeah, so are we saying anything about this shit?

Harris: 47:22

Climb the fucking tree man. We all climbed the fucking tree when we were kids.

Eldar: 47:27

Yes, I think we're still climbing to be honest, harris oh my god, definitely you and you are the highest on the tree and we're trying to brace your fall. You know what I'm saying?

Harris: 47:38

That was a terrible fucking example though Climbing a tree. Would you let them Break their arm?

Eldar: 47:44

He knows why I'm asking him that. I'm asking because it's very specific to his anxieties and stuff like that.

Harris: 47:49

Right, I'm just saying, yeah, every fucking kid or most of the kids in this country have climbed fucking trees.

Eldar: 47:58

Okay, fine, I just don't think that, totally, kids will be allowed to climb trees. Is what I'm saying. I climbed a tree and I fell and I went unconscious. I climbed a tree in high school. They had the high elements, I fell off. The fucking thing, bro, you did In high school In class I climbed a tree.

Harris: 48:14

I fell several times.

Eldar: 48:16

I landed on my back. I was bad.

Harris: 48:18

Climbed a tree several times, fell several times.

Toliy: 48:33

But guess what?

Eldar: 48:33

got back up and tried to do the same.

Toliy: 48:33

I'm not sure if you ever got back up, though I did give you guys a nate story. Oh yeah, I was in the monkey bars, you know, like the ones you can sit on top of them like oh, yeah, yeah, the ones where you do this. You know, yeah, yeah, like you'd sit on top when we're sitting on top of him at the park. That day some young kid fell off of it right in front of me and his fucking elbow went bone oh yeah, through the skin.

Eldar: 48:46

Yeah, you told me this, no through the skin.

Toliy: 48:47

You told me this yeah, we were like yo, what the fuck is this even going on? You know, yeah, like no one even knew that like this was possible. Yeah, like you didn't even think about this kind of shit. Yeah, yeah, you saw it. You saw it blood and everything bro, it was.

Eldar: 49:02

You weren't able to look away.

Toliy: 49:06

No, like you weren't able to fucking look at it Like it was fucking. Like once you saw it, you're like, oh my God yeah let's get out of here, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean again, like, yeah, with, like it's tough, like, yeah, like you again we talked about this before Like, unless you're in the right scenario, you should definitely not have kids, you know, otherwise you're going to fucking.

Eldar: 49:26

I don't even know that's a tough one. I know why you're saying that. I know that maybe your like intentions are right. You know what I mean, you know. I think that maybe, maybe if you're thinking about kids, maybe if, like, you're going to have almost guaranteed a little progression but I think there is probably guarantee progression that your kids are going to be better than you. Yeah, as long as you do your best.

Toliy: 49:46

Yeah.

Eldar: 49:46

If you do your best, then your best should translate into them being better than you. Yeah.

Toliy: 49:52

Yeah, and I think that's already good, like a natural, I think, vigilant effort too for that, yeah, I do think so too, I do think so too Like yeah, but ultimately I think we're talking about regretting guilty conscience.

Eldar: 50:06

If those are our guides to almost telling us that we're not there yet, we should definitely try to find them and make sure to polish ourselves in such a way where we don't have those experiences, because they only make our lives more difficult. Harris. But, the question is do you think we can ever get it under control to the point where we won't have regrets anymore? I think, I think we can. Harris, I actually believe that.

Toliy: 50:33

Yeah, I actually do, because also a lot of like, like. Sometimes you have these kinds of things and they're actual things that are actual good stepping stones. So I think that even when it happens, the recognition of it, you always see those like interviews, like, oh, like what? What do you regret doing right? And and people and like I guess what other people are, are, are, are calling at the time, successful situations are like I don't regret anything, you know, because everything taught me, like you know something it led me up to here.

Toliy: 50:59

Yeah, you know, that's true. So, like, I guess, if you look at things in that kind of way and you have the ability to consciously learn, I think that's probably the biggest thing.

Eldar: 51:08

That's probably the way to look at it. No, no, no. But you see what he said.

Toliy: 51:12

Yeah, if you have the mindset of that, you're consciously learning the consciously learning thing is, I think is the difference Actual conscious learning and recognition of that? It doesn't feel. I think the same way and I also feel that, like, the longer you can extend the conscious learning, you can um be much more vigilant on on those things, and if they do come across, it's not like you're trying right because, you're consciously learning and you're trying.

Eldar: 51:41

You also understand that you're not perfect and you will have these slip-ups, these moments of you know subconscious, almost like diarrhea.

Toliy: 51:49

Yeah, yeah, it's almost like yeah like like, for example, like, like bad sales calls right, like harris, if he's listening to him, he views them as like this is a terrible experience. Right where, like, what he's being preached to is, like this is actually a really good thing. Right, because, like, you have the most opportunities to learn from the biggest like the biggest fuck ups and the worst calls Right.

Toliy: 52:11

And then, and when you're in a position where, like, the outcomes are not like such crucial like things and like, like you know, second to second that kind of way, he's still here. He didn't get fired. Yeah, like he, he's not fired. Yeah, you know, um. Like, you have the ability to like, like, like if it is um, especially if you're in a position where others are helping you and and people can dissect like every sentence, a sentence like in, like a real scenario, like there's plenty of times where I mess up, I say the wrong thing, you know stuff like that, but I'm not dissecting every sentence like that. I'm saying it's a lot harder when you have someone dissecting every single word, thinking about every single thing, but you have the most opportunity to learn, so that you're then going to like you have all the hacks, you have all the cheat codes if you have someone doing it only if you're perceiving it as that.

Eldar: 53:08

So the question is how do you learn to perceive things that way? Well, there you go.

Toliy: 53:12

To consciously think yes, because it's impossible. Explain that to Harris. Well, we're trying to convince him.

Eldar: 53:18

That's the thing he thinks it's bad. We're trying to convince him because he's never perceived these types of things this way. Why? Because he's been conditioned by the world right, by his mom, his dad, whoever right, all the variables around him that this is bad and you should be perceived as bad. Right now we're like, yeah, calm the fuck down, stop making a judgment call here. We're not firing you, you're not in trouble, trying to learn right.

Toliy: 53:43

And that's when it clicks, it starts to hit, you know, and he'll be more looking forward to this experience rather than pushing it away it's impossible to perceive things around the wrong way when you're consciously thinking impossible, you know, it's only in the moments where you're not consciously thinking that you assume that this is bad, that's good, or like this is not so good, this is terrible or that. But when you or this is not so good, this is terrible or that. But when you consciously think, hey, if you could bring anyone to that moment, for that moment there's no way they can disagree. If you ask someone, hey, if you had a really bad call, do you think it would be valuable to review it and dissect it to see what you did wrong or right? Do you think that that could be a good thing? Like, who's gonna say no, yeah in that moment?

Toliy: 54:32

where you bring them there right, but the issue is that a lot of people especially like like uh, like one one, what like people who are not like uh? Um as, for example, developed them bringing themselves there is a very difficult task, but then, as you get better, you can bring yourself there on your own without having someone bring you right there, you know right now we have to unconvince him of the things he's been convincing himself for years.

Eldar: 55:09

Yeah, so he's.

Eldar: 55:11

Because, right, he's already building. He wanted Before this. He said before this week he was already coming up with his own conclusions about what's going on. Oh, like, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Imagine if he made that conclusion and walked out and said guys, I'm out. No, I wasn't going to walk out, I'm making a thought experiment here. Buddy, you know what I mean. Calm down over there, you know, you're not going anywhere. Okay, you know what I'm saying. I'm not a fucking quitter man.

Eldar: 55:38

What kind of regret would he have, right, what kind of missed opportunity would he have from all this shit, from not seeing things for what they are? Yeah, you know. Now, today, he feels completely different from before and now, with our help, I hope that he can marry and understand that this is a learning experience, that it's going to take a little bit of time and that everything that he's been thinking so far needs to be put on hold. And he let in through open mind in this right, through learning and curiosity, as Tole always says. Let in something new and see how that can flourish and how can that start to build.

Eldar: 56:12

and I think he's he got a taste this week well well, you didn't hear the call I was busy, but it was. It was a night and day in comparison. He was able to ask questions, then pause, listen to them, give good feedback or not, say or be honest with the feedback right to say like hey, I'm new here. Like he was able to actually be like there in the phone call present and you felt that wow, and the other individual felt it too.

Eldar: 56:40

He gave him the opportunity to rave about what he was doing marketing and stuff like that. He listened to it all. He gave compliments. It was a very good call. Wow, you know what I mean. I can't take that away from him. That's his. Well, you know what I mean, but it's also ours. Yeah, that's our efforts in the physical form, because we're finally kicking his gears, you know, and he's using our brain, your brain. Okay, fine, he doesn't have a brain yet, not yet. Oh, thanks, man.

Harris: 57:10

Let's just keep you humble a little bit. Well, I know there's still a lot to learn, Okay good, good yeah, interesting.

Toliy: 57:24

Yeah, like the previous ways you have of thinking or like understanding things. They inhibit you so much from learning, like in, like the present moment, you know, even when other people give you different rules to like to work off of right, like someone can tell you hey, this is what's going to be bad and this is what's going to be good, and then you yourself still like, create a scenario where you're thinking that like, like, you're then making your own rules within that, right, yeah. Like we could tell him like, hey, this is what we value and this is what we're viewing as good or bad, yeah, and then he makes his own set of rules completely different different, not not like listening, yeah, right, yeah. Different, not like listening, yeah, right, yeah. And then beat themselves up over things that was not directed to beat yourself up over, correct, because it's not yet marrying the two.

Eldar: 58:12

You have a perfect example of today. In the morning, right, you went with something that you thought was correct, but you then came and told me it was a fairly small thing that happened, but nonetheless you came and shared it. Why? Why? Small thing that happened, but nonetheless you came and shared it? Why? Why, um, why did you share it with me, that piece of information? No, I felt it was important. You see, something internally felt that it was important, but in the moment it wasn't important. On your own, you create your own little scenarios and little things, but as soon as you have me to bounce off of you, like yo, let me share this, let me see where it goes.

Toliy: 58:55

You see, yeah, this is a good example but one one, one thing that like, um, what like? I think is also an interesting skill to develop. For example, when I saw that Arch was eating that thing, I definitely felt the way first, and then I felt that way, and then I asked a question afterwards and then I felt a different way. For example, I could have seen that asked the question without feeling any kind of way then and then continue it on Right.

Toliy: 59:27

But oftentimes you could have an anxiety about something but you have like. By you having that feeling to begin with first, it means that you are making a conclusion. You're proving.

Toliy: 59:38

You're proving that to yourself and then you ask the question and you realize you were wrong, yeah, and then you remove that conclusion and now you bring in like a new one and you don you were wrong, yeah, and then you remove that conclusion and now you bring in like a new one, correct? And you don't continue feeling that kind of way unless you like don't believe the person or like, um, whatever right, yep, um, but um, I feel like it's always an interesting thing to see if you could put yourself in a position to first ask a question before feeling a particular type of way and and like that. That, to me, is like those kinds of moments.

Eldar: 1:00:08

I think that's wisdom.

Toliy: 1:00:09

Yeah, are of like their, their live, proof of like conscious thinking, right, yes, because it's like. It's not like you, just like blurting out like um emotional outbursts, um of not thinking first.

Eldar: 1:00:23

Um, that's the goal ultimately. Yeah, first, but yeah, that's the goal ultimately. Yeah, it is ultimately the goal. Yeah, sure To not draw conclusions or reactions. But it's such an interesting thing you know, I think it's because you have an attachment to certain things that are being said or whatever things that you you know. Let's just say, in my case, hearing something came from my own attachment to what I thought and the response was important for that.

Eldar: 1:00:48

But you see the thing is something told you to share it with me, mm-hmm, that something is almost telling you that you didn't close the chapter when you responded to what you did. Mm-hmm, you left it open for yourself. Yeah, you didn't think that you did something wrong still, you didn't think that you did something wrong Still Up until we discussed it. And then you're like, oh shit, that was a missed opportunity. You know what I'm saying, but something is telling you like, hey, I should share this Very, like casually.

Eldar: 1:01:17

Yeah, it was casual, for sure it was very casual. And then whoa shit, we're onto something here, you know. The interesting part is why is that? You know what I mean. You know what I mean, and that's, if you start listening to that, is what totally is talking about that thing, about asking the question prior to jump into certain conclusions, you know. So then we don't have regret, like why did I just go through this whole anxiety attack or this whole thing? You know, prematurely. We do this all the time, all the time, you know. So I think that's important. What Buddhists always said right, right thought, right speech and right action All those three things are synchronized, because if you don't have the right thought, you won't have right speech, and then the right action won't come, and then all that stuff you're going to earn yourself a nice regret moment, you know, yep.

Toliy: 1:02:13

Yeah, but the interesting thing is that, like, like one of the, can you at least now bite the nails into the mic, like I can fucking hear the little snapping.

Eldar: 1:02:21

I can definitely mute it for the rest of the game.

Toliy: 1:02:23

Yeah, please, one like, and again it sounds like a very like. You can almost say like, hey, this is so simple. Why don't you just ask before making a conclusion? Right, but it's very difficult because this is primarily happening when your subconscious is probably acting out and not your conscious, right? But? But like it's like a crazy concept. Hey, before you conclude something, would you be okay with going forward?

Eldar: 1:02:53

just asking first yeah right, that's automatic humbling right like you don't have to like.

Toliy: 1:03:01

then someone is saying like hey, you don't need to be put in, put in a position to be responsible, to make a decision. Yeah, right, yeah. You just have to ask how crazy is that, right?

Eldar: 1:03:13

That is. That is like a path to heaven, every single time.

Toliy: 1:03:17

Yeah, right, yeah, but no one fucking takes that. Yeah, that is very interesting. Hey, before you feel any kind of way, way, why don't you just find out first?

Eldar: 1:03:25

see, the problem is, though, like the problem is like. I think that, uh, you have to be able to be at least in an environment where critical thinking is promoted to be able to ask the right people this kind of shit, because you could be misled well, I well, I think, well, well, yes, that, but I think also somebody else can install more fear into you yeah, but, but I'm but like we're, we're like we're talking about a scenario of of truth.

Toliy: 1:03:51

I think that that'd be, like, the only way where it applies. But I'm saying is that, like, I think the bigger thing is that the person that's tasked to do this, they have an overwhelming amount of of, like subconscious commitments and desires and thoughts that there's no way that they could be in the moment enough to think this kind of way. I agree with you there, a hundred percent.

Toliy: 1:04:16

You know it's already pre-written, Because someone is telling you like, like, oh, what's cool. Like imagine you just told Harris hey, going forward. Yeah, before you make any conclusion about anything that you're doing, here, you're not allowed to feel anything. You're not allowed to feel anything. Yeah, ask, and then we'll figure out the right feeling.

Eldar: 1:04:33

And we'll give you the feeling to feel yeah, hey, numbnuts, you ready to be a guinea pig. What do you mean Exactly?

Harris: 1:04:45

Oh, we're going to be experimenting on you, boy yeah, without you even knowing oh, great thanks much appreciated yeah like right, like you give someone guaranteed right action, or like right feeling every time.

Toliy: 1:05:02

But the harder. It's easier to just be fucking wrong and be a numb nuts than to fucking like be present and be a numb nuts yeah, than to fucking like Get the right thing right away. Be present and think in that kind of way.

Eldar: 1:05:11

See that almost shows that, like that, almost shows that we're not deserving of good things right away.

Toliy: 1:05:18

No, because we already. What happens is this In anything that we're doing, we're already lying, lying to ourselves, because we have so many commitments, so many things that we desire and want, so many problems that are existing, so many things that we're committed to right, that we don't have the ability to just do that thing and be in the present moment of that thing. Correct? Yeah, this is true. You know you're gonna think about marketing right now. That's it. The only thing that exists is you and marketing. You're gonna play basketball right now. The only thing that exists is you and basketball in that moment. Right, but you know what? What's very interesting, even the dumbest people in the world can experience what I'm saying right now, being in the moment when they are sleeping.

Eldar: 1:06:12

Have, have.

Harris: 1:06:16

You just proved you're dumb, I am dumb.

Eldar: 1:06:19

With an F when they have Frank's hot sauce, no, when they have fun. Oh yeah, obviously.

Toliy: 1:06:29

You could be the biggest idiot ever, right? Yes, but if you love, for example, playing basketball, yes, that's a natural passion, those games. It's a natural thing, yeah 100%. You don't have a choice in the matter.

Eldar: 1:06:46

You don't have a choice, because productivity stuff like that right, it's easy and you're having fun which is a crazy phenomenon. Well then, you're almost saying that. Okay, so then there's your answer. There's your answer for your previous question. This is your answer, you ready? Yeah, what was your previous question? Do you remember About youth and upbringing of the kids and why the fuck this is happening over and over, perpetual cycle?

Toliy: 1:07:11

Yeah.

Eldar: 1:07:12

It's because of the fact that we don't emphasize fun to be the prolonged journey for our kids.

Toliy: 1:07:20

It's not even that, we don't emphasize, it. Yeah, we, we don't, we, we, we don't, we, we, we don't explain fun, we don't explain fun.

Eldar: 1:07:30

So so, joe, if you're listening and of course you are you are a super subscriber and obviously there's a lot of perks for super subscribers, aside from getting all this knowledge. We probably said it many, many times, but make sure you have lots of fun with your kid, bro, and go on those journeys of discovery and all that fun that the kid's going to want to have. I think that's the most important thing. And if you don't know how to have fun, guess what, harris? Guess what? If you want to learn how to have fun? The first episode of Dennis Rocks is about fun.

Harris: 1:08:06

Oh wow, With Dennis in it.

Eldar: 1:08:09

Dennis is in it. Andate is in it too. Oh god fucking shit.

Harris: 1:08:14

Everything's nate, this nate that I can't help it.

Toliy: 1:08:17

Man nate's listening to this. Fuck you seriously, seriously, yeah, seriously so yeah, yeah and like that, that's like an interesting thing, that's a good point because it's like all apparent like there's a lot of things where there's fun in things. Hold on, one second is preserving fun a paradox a paradox like what do you mean, meaning?

Eldar: 1:08:41

like it's like Mike, do you want to say the question? It's paradoxical, like. It's like how can you preserve fun? Fun preserves itself. It's fun, fun doesn't need preserving.

Toliy: 1:08:51

Okay, but what's that word in that context? Preserving it happens automatically, it happens almost. You're having fun. Yeah, it's like it doesn't need protecting.

Eldar: 1:09:02

It doesn't need to be encouraged, right, like you said, it's easy. Yeah, if you like it. I'm not gonna say yo, harris, go have fun. Like, go enjoy, yeah, the thing that you enjoy, like what I'm already enjoying it, fuck off.

Toliy: 1:09:14

Like I like it, like, yeah, don't encourage me this shit, yeah, yeah, no, I, I was saying that, like it's not that parents don't value fun, uh-huh, is that? I think that, like they, they don't like and and and. And this is not only parents, right? This isn't like in anything. For example, like in any scenario where you have a teacher and like a student scenario on any topic, right, if the student doesn't understand it and they're willing, I think, enable like a student, right? I think it's probably because the teacher is not showing the fun in the in that subject, not explaining the fun properly, right? So, like, for example, sales stuff, right? Yeah? Um, if Harris finds something like boring and mundane, right, it's probably because I'm not explaining what's the fun in it properly, because to me, there's plenty of things that are in it that are extremely fun.

Eldar: 1:10:16

Yeah are the things that are fun to you the same that are fun to him.

Toliy: 1:10:22

It's not that's why it's on me to discover what's fun in it for him well, maybe not he's got to discover it. No, but I also think that fun might be universal discover what's fun in it for him?

Eldar: 1:10:30

Well, maybe not exactly no, but I also think that fun might be universal guys.

Toliy: 1:10:35

Yeah.

Eldar: 1:10:36

I think it's just explaining the fun.

Toliy: 1:10:41

It's an explanation of what's actually fun and how to actually have fun.

Eldar: 1:10:45

And what makes something fun.

Toliy: 1:10:47

And parents might be explaining something to the kid to do and they're like fucking gotta do this, so fucking BS, or something like that fun and what makes something fun? And like like parents might be explaining something to like the kid to do and they're like oh fucking gotta do this, so fucking bs.

Eldar: 1:10:54

or something like that and the parents might say like, yeah, let's go do this like ice skating or, you know, playing basketball, whatever, and the kid's like oh, leave me the fuck alone, you know what I mean they don't see the fun in it. Yeah, even though the parents might be seeing some kind of fun, but they're just not selling it, explaining it properly. But next thing, you know, the kid tries it out and they're like, oh shit, they had a crazy amount of fun. You know what I mean. That happens all the time.

Toliy: 1:11:13

Yeah, and that happens in like, like, like to your friend and friend.

Toliy: 1:11:20

Scenarios, you know, like like one friend tries to convince another friend to do something well, like they or they invite them somewhere, do something, or like they have a bad attitude towards it or like you know, I know, I know I had that, yeah, I know with that, or like yeah, um, or, or, or, like when we went to the, uh, like the, uh, um, the the fights in ac, like others, I was complaining about like the seats. You know, like that, like you couldn't see very well, but like we're having plenty of fun. Like you know, like, like like we were there. Like you know like they're like you couldn't see very well, but like we're having plenty of fun. Like you know, like, like like we were there. Like you know, like, like you still feel the environment.

Toliy: 1:11:56

Like we go to the casino, we do this like there there's plenty of fun you know, and like uh, um, but, but one person does like doesn't see it or like don't understand it, but the other, for that person it is fun or they see it. So I think it's like you can teach these kinds of things to get someone to understand the fun in it, and then it will not be a difficult learning process. Like as difficult of a learning process.

Eldar: 1:12:29

If you sell them on you know kind of thing, and they could see themselves within it, they could vision themselves and then implement it as well.

Eldar: 1:12:35

But like, yeah, for like, if you know, for the fun question is right, I agree for sure. Like, I think the preservation of fun, it's a natural thing If you have to preserve it, having fun. But I think the realization that a lot of parents especially, probably don't understand is that you can do whatever you want, but with like the thing behind it to be fun. Like you want to become rich, okay, be rich, get rich, but have fun doing it. Yeah, there's plenty of ways to have fun and also get rich, or anything that you think that you want your kids to accomplish, right, or if you wish that for your kids. That's that's the problem. It's that oh, no, no, no, got to go to school. You got to take this shit seriously. Yep, no fun, no fun, but you can go to school and have fun. I mean, me and you in school had a lot of fun, um, but, and what? So? What you know, yeah, I think like seeing.

Toliy: 1:13:32

Seeing the fun, I think is, is what the like. The challenging part is that there's a lot of people that don't see or understand the fun.

Eldar: 1:13:39

Well, I think they don't understand it.

Toliy: 1:13:41

Yeah, I don't think they understand.

Toliy: 1:13:43

Yeah, but well, that's what I'm saying, though.

Toliy: 1:13:45

Like if you're in a position where you're teaching somebody or like showing them something, right, because we are talking about about like um, like wisdom or like stuff like that is like being in like the moment right, being in like the conscious moment where it's you in that thing, you and basketball, you and marketing, you and I don't know the meal, whatever it is right, um, but then, uh, we were talking about how, um, like the easiest way, like even the dumbest people in the world, right, like whoever right um, in the moment of fun, could do.

Toliy: 1:14:21

What's like. What we're talking about is like a difficult thing of like a moment of focus, a moment of presence and moment right of like, where you don't have all the attachments and the commitments and the thoughts and the ideals of everything, and like all that at you where it's difficult to focus, or stuff like that, like even the dumbest people can can focus and be in the moment when they're having fun, right, so, like if you're showing someone something or explain someone something and something is fun to you or you understand the fun in it. Like um, if, if, um, if it's in your best interest to teach someone some something, then um, uh, a. A very important thing and a big variable is to pass the the same fun that you're having on to the other person and and value that you know, because then it all becomes significantly easier when someone can also be in that kind of conscious moment or be in that like, like, realize those same things that you realize.

Eldar: 1:15:23

You know, Well, that's probably a huge thing of fun, at least for me. You know Me and you share that, like about whatever.

Harris: 1:15:36

Yeah, the more the merrier right, oh yeah.

Eldar: 1:15:40

Yeah, but it's also something about fun where it's I almost want to call it it's a virtuous thing. Because it's like it should be your guide in a way Me too.

Toliy: 1:16:04

But it's a virtuous thing, because I think it's a wanting to have fun with many more people. It's a complete presence, the more the merrier, right, harris, like you're, the ability to be fully in it. Yeah, when you're having what was the fastest class of the day Lunch Jim for lunch? Right, we'll talk about that. Yeah, like the like, all the periods in the day, yeah, like, if you want to say, actual classes. Everybody agreed that Jim was. They're hacking this shit, right.

Eldar: 1:16:36

They're fucking shaving off 20 minutes off of it, right? Not for the fat kids, right? Yo calm down, man Like calm down.

Toliy: 1:16:42

He hated Jim, but you know what I'm talking about, right?

Eldar: 1:16:46

He had the sweaty chicken nuggets, but it was over for him.

Toliy: 1:16:49

Yeah, he had this. He had this Whitey chicken nuggets, but it was over for him. Yeah, like if there was A biting of the nails class, you'd fucking think that it goes by like this. You'd kill it.

Eldar: 1:16:55

Launch. What class is that Are?

Toliy: 1:16:57

you serious? You finished the first one already, fuck you.

Eldar: 1:17:01

Wait, you're hitting the vape. Why are you sucking on your toe?

Harris: 1:17:03

If you want to say actual, I'm not sucking on my toe.

Eldar: 1:17:05

But why are you doing the nervous habit? If you have the smoker, yeah, they're like what? The hell?

Toliy: 1:17:10

he's hungry, yeah you hate it right, like those most like it's that's why you need to invert it like that because it's it's a guaranteed presence. You know like you have no choice in the matter of being the present when having fun. It's guaranteed guaranteed choice in the matter of being the president or when having fun.

Eldar: 1:17:31

It's guaranteed, guaranteed. It's hard to call a guy like you. Know what I mean.

Toliy: 1:17:39

Fun is almost like a result.

Eldar: 1:17:42

Yeah, but I think it's paradoxical in that way too. I don't know. Fun exists outside of time, Okay so.

Toliy: 1:17:48

Time does not apply to fun.

Eldar: 1:17:50

Yeah, it's like I'm having a hard time explaining it, but to me it's like the fun is it should be like at the forefront of everything that you do. That's why I call it a guide, where it should be the priority of how you do things. It's like a principle of how to engage in stuff it's hard to call it a guide, mike, you.

Eldar: 1:18:09

It's like a principle of how to engage in stuff. It's hard to call it a guide, mike. You know what I mean. Fun. Fun is almost like a result. Well, yeah, but I think it's the buying into it.

Toliy: 1:18:18

Fun exists, yeah. Having fun is a display of understanding it does, yeah.

Eldar: 1:18:21

Yeah, what did you say? The buying into it? Yeah, it first comes. Buying into the fun, right Cons, I agree, yeah, you know what I mean.

Harris: 1:18:38

They don't. I agree yeah.

Toliy: 1:18:40

I agree.

Eldar: 1:18:48

But it almost points to the fact that, like you can't have fun unless you get hammered, so the buying into it precedes fun. Having fun is a way of understanding. Yes, first comes buying into the fun, right Consciously, and then the fun happens, the kids that are just having fun.

Toliy: 1:19:06

it's natural to them and it's easy, but they don't understand all that they don. You have a conscious effort to chill.

Eldar: 1:19:11

You know what I mean Because.

Toliy: 1:19:12

I know, whatever we're doing, we're doing it together. We're always having fun, regardless of going to I mean not even easy Anything that doesn't sound fun for most people or anybody, we're always going to have fun because we're going to have fun in whatever we do.

Harris: 1:19:28

It's like yo I'm going to have fun.

Toliy: 1:19:29

And that's what I'm saying First.

Harris: 1:19:30

you need that understanding before you can be blessed with.

Eldar: 1:19:35

Yeah, exactly. So that's that's what I'm saying is, like a lot of people they don't understand, like that idea how you can create the fun in whatever you're doing. It's not necessarily like, oh, I don't want to go here, bro, I don't like this place, I don't want to travel. Like it don't matter, we're gonna have fun in the airport, in the fucking plane, we're gonna have fun everywhere we go, because we can create it in the moment. Yeah, you know, and uh, like, like that.

Eldar: 1:19:55

That's what I'm kind of pushing, but I don't think that's a bad accident, which is hand, and I agree with you. Yes, it has to be like a. I think that the kids are born right and together we have more abilities to create it, because it's just easier together. For, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, mm-hmm, I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. I think that, as the kids are born right, they're very organically kind of fall into fun because they are not hammered by all these belief systems and these fears and stuff like that.

Toliy: 1:20:47

So they'll climb that tree because it's fun, versus like the kids, where they get climb that tree Because it's taken away from you versus like the kids where they get hammered because they haven't adopted this.

Harris: 1:20:54

Sure, sometimes they get hurt about it, right? Most of the time the kids. They're not strong enough Because it's more like yo. It comes naturally and you just want to do it.

Eldar: 1:21:05

It's very natural. When they go into the present moment, they lose track of time. We forget to eat, right? We forget everything. We forget the world Some of us, yeah, but if you actually adopt this thing right, it would be very hard for you to take away from the university. Kids get hammered because they haven't adopted, they get policed.

Harris: 1:21:30

That's what happens.

Eldar: 1:21:32

They're not thrown in the car. Yes, that is why, like I said, I think parents' job is probably the most important thing. For Joe, for example, who's the only parent that we know kind of like very immediate.

Toliy: 1:21:47

I also just want to point out without a mirror, very immediate. Well, I also just want to point out yeah, without a mirror, yeah, and without a concerted effort and without a comb. I don't know Paris has an eight haircut right now. Yeah, you understand it, just naturally the gravity pulls it to that spot. Yeah, because he just fixed it.

Eldar: 1:22:11

If they fucking met, it's going to be a glitch in the matrix.

Toliy: 1:22:14

The gravity pulled it to that exact spot. To do that? That's fucking hard.

Eldar: 1:22:20

Hit the button With your permission.

Harris: 1:22:24

Oh, you know what? Fuck you guys, this fucking shit, everything's Nate. This Nate that, nate that. If Nate's listening to this, fuck you guys, this fucking shit, everything's Nate this, nate that, nate that.

Eldar: 1:22:34

If Nate's listening to this, fuck you. Yeah, so, yeah. So I think the parents' job right, it's almost like to their best abilities to be able to preserve fun is what, like I said, it doesn't make sense in my head preserving fun, but encourage fun and try not to discourage your kid from having as much fun as possible you know, to a point where they can even monetize the fun, like you said you know what I mean, because they do have to maybe enter the quote-unquote real world.

Eldar: 1:23:04

Yeah, then again, what the fuck is a real world, you know?

Toliy: 1:23:06

I think the, the explaining of it, I think is really important to like the, the encouraging, I guess, is like the um, like the promotion of it. But I think that like, yeah, like, as they get older, there's, there's, there's again, people perceive particular things as like this is fun and this is not fun. They don't think that like there's fun in everything, for example, yeah, right, yeah, and. And like you fun in everything, for example, yeah, right, yeah, and and like you could promote fun activities, for example, that are like maybe naturally more fun.

Toliy: 1:23:35

Right Like those are very easy to do, Like.

Eldar: 1:23:38

Hey, go play outside, you know.

Toliy: 1:23:39

Yeah, like that's encouraging them, but not but I think, like to me at least, what, what sounds like the bigger value is to explain the fun in all different kinds of things, which is like what people are baffled in Especially, I think, when they meet us or stuff like that. They're baffled about maybe basic things that are actually extremely fun.

Eldar: 1:24:04

But is it the fun that's in those things or the fun that we install in those things?

Toliy: 1:24:08

I think he's talking about the ability our ability to do it.

Toliy: 1:24:12

I think that there is perceived like you can perceive fun in pretty much in everything, right, but people perceive things as, like these things are fun, these things are not fun. They make that judgment call and then they live by that and I think that that what's cool, that's what I'm saying about, like, when you're explaining someone some something um putting um which which, like it's something I never thought about until now, like, uh, today, like putting fun at a forefront and and having it of like um the most, like the utmost of value in what you're trying to explain, um seems almost just like a hack right, well listen.

Eldar: 1:24:57

I'm excited then to see how you're gonna implement that.

Toliy: 1:24:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, because like yeah, it's fun.

Eldar: 1:25:05

It's fun like, uh, inherently carry with it all those things you guys talking about, like it carries a lot of virtues, like you said the ability to focus in the moment, right Be present, right See when you're a kid.

Toliy: 1:25:23

What was the question?

Eldar: 1:25:24

Does the fun carry in it, like that stuff, the virtuous thing about like or maybe other stuff that I haven't thought about, but the ability to be in the moment, right to be present but see, I don't know if they're two things, I think they are interchangeable.

Toliy: 1:25:39

Plus I think being in the moment is fun, and fun is in the moment or what about other things like, I don't know, patience, kindness, I don't know Well I think that the ability to enter the states of fun is a result of virtues.

Toliy: 1:25:53

So I think it's more of a reward than anything than a prerequisite. Yeah, that's like a culmination of those things. Yeah, again, that's why it exists. Outside of time, when you're having fun, there's different time laws Completely. You can't fake it bro. Yeah, completely, you cannot fake. When you're having fun, there's different time time laws completely, and you can't fake it bro. Yeah, completely, you cannot fake it. There are certain things you're like oh, this is taking forever, right yeah, yeah, like what the fuck certain things are like yo, we've been playing ball.

Toliy: 1:26:20

It's already two and a half hours past yeah, what happened to the time?

Eldar: 1:26:23

yeah, what happened? Yeah, what happened? Why does Monopoly right Like? If you like Monopoly, if you're into it and you really focus right, You're like what the fuck? You sit there for six hours. You're like yo, what the hell? And you just get warmed up. Yeah, and what are you doing?

Toliy: 1:26:36

It's a fucking simple ass fucking game.

Eldar: 1:26:38

You're rolling fucking dice you know Right, yeah, right, it's those things like monopoly is just we happen to like monopoly because we like monopoly, right, but go try to have fun washing dishes, right? Or, like he said, do sales calls. Yeah, right, like right now. Like harris, right, he was not having fun, he made certain conclusions, because now he's learning how to have a little bit more fun, he's making different conclusions and enjoying it, but that's a result of some something that, like I thoroughly enjoy reviewing those kinds of calls because I feel like the whole concept, what it all is, it's very psychological and very philosophical.

Toliy: 1:27:22

It's like someone said something, you heard it or didn't hear it and then you said something back why you heard it or didn't hear it, right.

Toliy: 1:27:30

And then you said something back, right, why, you know, like the dissection of that is absolutely fascinating Me too. I agree with that. Like it is so interesting, yeah, and like I can do it every day, all day, pretty much, right, yeah, because then you see, like why do people say what they say? And it's just like it applies to like everything that you've learned throughout your whole life. All of those little things are in those things.

Toliy: 1:27:55

It's all the same thing, you know, it's all all there yeah, I agree with that you know and then when you can take that feedback and apply it, you can actually see that, like you have full control over all of these reactions and conversations and how things go, the better that you get you know same thing in your life, right. With your relationships and stuff you know it's the same exact thing, so like it's extremely fun.

Eldar: 1:28:33

Harris, what do you think? I have one question.

Harris: 1:28:37

What.

Eldar: 1:28:40

You ready to?

Harris: 1:28:40

have fun. You don't gotta say it like that, you sick fuck.

Eldar: 1:28:46

Do you regret not having more fun? Let's head back to our initial question.

Harris: 1:28:49

Listen, he's having fun.

Eldar: 1:28:51

I think that he's having the most amount of fun he's ever had. He's never had in his life, bro 100% Went to Bermuda, uh-huh Throwing down fuck you's everywhere Huh.

Harris: 1:29:02

What do you mean, man?

Eldar: 1:29:03

What was?

Harris: 1:29:04

that, like two weeks ago now. I already forgot, man, I already moved on. You're still living in that moment. Huh, you just watched the video today, bro. Don't even fucking say that.

Eldar: 1:29:12

Oh, that's true. Yeah, I didn't watch it. I showed it to Tom. It's different. You watched it, I thought I saw it. Yeah, yeah, fine, that was a good video. I know who made it, I out there that made it.

Toliy: 1:29:26

Yeah man.

Eldar: 1:29:26

So, harris, did we tackle this regret thing? Yeah, what'd you learn about the regret thing?

Harris: 1:29:32

That you gotta use your brain and condition your mind to.

Eldar: 1:29:35

You started off by saying that it's impossible. You're just gonna have to live with this shit, your mind just spitting out fucking random shit.

Harris: 1:29:42

Well, it's to be seen if you control every little thing. It's going to be a little experiment.

Eldar: 1:29:47

You already gave us the fact that you can improve it. You can improve it. I'm not saying that we're going to be perfect but improvement worth.

Toliy: 1:29:55

I also think that part of the conversion is like see, there was a very particular phrase that Harris said there Every little thing, right, yeah, everything is a big thing, yeah, yeah, and the recognition of it is a big thing, yeah, yeah. And the recognition of it being a little thing actually puts you away from learning. Yeah, it's an arrogant, yeah, it's an arrogant start Like oh, this means nothing, yeah, it's just that.

Harris: 1:30:23

That's just whatever I'm just stating. It has to be wait. You have to wait and see if it it's possible to implement this.

Eldar: 1:30:33

you know because Well, you've already implemented some of it and you've gotten some results. So doesn't it point to the fact that you can implement more of it in different areas of your life, so you can improve?

Harris: 1:30:47

I guess yeah.

Eldar: 1:30:48

Okay, fine, thank you.

Harris: 1:30:52

What are?

Eldar: 1:30:52

you stating, totally what are you trying to say? I think what you're asking? Actually, he's not supposed to be able to answer it. Maybe it's designed that way. I agree with you. I agree with you. That's why I'm asking to see where he stands. He's gotta still stay a humble goose for another 20 years, because he's a sinner.

Harris: 1:31:05

She's a sinner, right oh my god, you gotta eat shit. I'm going to hell, man, yeah you are in hell, dude.

Eldar: 1:31:11

What do you mean going? We're trying to pull your ass out of there In 25, you'll be ready. Holy shit. In 25, harry, we're going to have our first Jew president. Huh, because we never had any Jew presidents, right?

Harris: 1:31:28

No, we didn't have any Jew presidents, right?

Eldar: 1:31:29

no, we didn't have any Jew presidents? Didn't we watch? That guy yesterday I didn't know that I'll be the first Jew man.

Harris: 1:31:35

I don't know if it's true but didn't we watch that guy?

Eldar: 1:31:37

yesterday you showed me the video saying there's no Jewish presidents maybe.

Harris: 1:31:41

Maybe I missed that point, that's kind of crazy, though come on, by that time you're not going to be Jewish anymore.

Eldar: 1:31:46

Harris, you're going to be like a. You're going to be the earth person, you're going to be an avatar.

Harris: 1:31:48

I'm going to be elderism religion? Sure, we're going to create our own holiday. Sure, our own holiday. Are you going to turn into an avatar people Based on what we're?

Eldar: 1:31:56

saying here every day is supposed to be a holiday, harris. Oh shit. So fucking Elon Musk, better get Age of abundance, where you don't have to work, you don't have to do shit, because robots are going to roam the earth, mine the earth and feed us and shit.

Harris: 1:32:12

What the hell are you smoking? Don't wipe your eyes, he's on crack, alright.

Eldar: 1:32:19

So in 25 years I'll give him some time To get his shit together.

Harris: 1:32:23

It's going to take more than 25 years. Shit. How long did he say the Tesla Cybertruck was going to come out? And he postponed it even more? A couple years, not a big deal when?

Eldar: 1:32:33

are we going to Mars? I think he said in a couple years, three, four years.

Toliy: 1:32:36

There's like a window Can we put him on the list yet Elder or no?

Eldar: 1:32:41

No, we need him here. I'm sending my mom to Mars.

Harris: 1:32:44

What the fuck? Why are you sending your mom to Mars? She asked. She wants to go to Mars. I'm going to sign her up. She knows she's not coming back, right, she doesn't want to come back, she doesn't want to see you, she wants to get far away from you.

Eldar: 1:32:58

Exactly, she wants to go and make history. She wants to run amok on Mars. She ran amok on Earth. Now.

Harris: 1:33:04

Can you put Tully on the list? Tully doesn totally on the list. He doesn't want to go there.

Eldar: 1:33:09

We're staying here with you, man. We are your right-hand man.

Harris: 1:33:13

Yeah, I get that, but you know what, tommy, he needs to be out.

Eldar: 1:33:18

Yeah, Tommy's going. I think Tommy is ready.

Harris: 1:33:21

He's officially checked out. If I become president, he's officially. You're going to exile him, right?

Eldar: 1:33:28

He's exiled, alright right, I like it All. Right, guys, it sounds like we have final thoughts. Yeah, ready Harris, it seems like you said a lot but said nothing at the same time. What'd? You like you want to click that button don't you.

Eldar: 1:33:42

Yeah, we're going to go with Mike. What are your final thoughts on this regret stuff, mike? Did we hit anything? Did we hit any good points? Yeah, I think um toly said something about regret could be a good aid. Yeah, something like that, and it made me think about a lot of these things right, like um, these negative, I guess, emotions.

Eldar: 1:34:02

Right, there are aids for us to like hurry up and understand whatever you know, like like anger, like yo, something wrong, egotistical upset, impatient, it's all going to show us all these negative emotions and I think that's pretty interesting, or pretty amazing how it's designed, you know. So to me it's fascinating that there's always like a built-in stuff for us to learn from and pay attention to, and to fix our lives if we choose to. But everything's out there to for the taking, for the taking, and you just gotta pay attention. But I think it's pretty cool nice design of it totally thank you, mike.

Toliy: 1:34:45

yeah, I think that um the more um regret you have. I think it points more towards the need for conscious thinking and the less suffering you have. I think it points towards conscious thinking transferring to subconscious thinking.

Eldar: 1:35:03

Wow, okay, you got a formula here and I'm going to roll off that. You said something really cool. Wow, okay, you got a formula here and I'm going to roll off that you said something really cool. If conscious thinking has now become subconscious thinking for you in a good way, where you have abundance of truth and understanding and you no longer feel regret or any of those feelings, it almost becomes that you've created a world of your own kind of abundance or your own kind of maybe little heaven.

Toliy: 1:35:30

If you're not suffering, because you could also just be doing shit, yeah, not having any regret, but then having a lot of suffering, yeah, right, and that's pointing that like you haven't programmed good conscious thinking into your subconscious just yet. But if you're having a lot of fun and you're enjoying your life, then you are pointing that you're you're conscious thinking.

Eldar: 1:35:52

Uh yeah, and that's what I was gonna. Yeah, that's what I was gonna add to that. Yeah, if, if you know, if you did create this conscious um state of mind, that it's already subconscious and now it's on almost automatic pilot, you're having a ton of tons of fun you know what I mean.

Eldar: 1:36:10

You're enjoying your life and you really are like fucking blissful, let's just say, because you have the ability to enter into those moments of focus and complete in the moment moments to enjoy yourself and really do exactly what you want and get out of life, and I think that's pretty cool.

Eldar: 1:36:27

So I think that this, at least this topic, definitely points that, you know, regret is definitely almost a guide or an indicator an indicator that we ought to change something about our life, change something the way we think, so we can get better and have more fun.

Toliy: 1:36:45

Yeah, regret, almost sounds like a, like a directional arrow towards something yeah, right that you point you're not doing what you're doing, right but I think that, like um, the requirement for conscious thinking is what's required to read those kinds of error, like to read those directions yeah, you know to say like what? What is it actually saying?

Eldar: 1:37:05

yeah, you know, yeah. So hurry the fuck up, guys, wake the fuck up. Listen to Dennis Rock's podcast and get your life together, because if not, then you're not having as much fun as we are peace.

Toliy: 1:37:16

Thanks for watching.