147. Balancing Love, Work, and Wheelchairs with Harris and how lack of self love result in breakups

How do personal and work-life dynamics impact one's ability to maintain relationships and achieve personal growth?

In episode of Dennis Rox, Eldar and Mike dive into a compelling conversation with guest Harris about his experiences working as the night lead for wheelchair assistance at an airport. Harris offers vivid insights into the logistical challenges and teamwork required to manage flight arrivals and ensure wheelchair users are properly assisted. He shares humorous and chaotic anecdotes from his job, including handling missing personnel, passengers needing wheelchairs, and even coordinating with coworkers like Maurice to push two wheelchairs simultaneously. This episode reveals the intricate balance between professional responsibilities and personal life, highlighting Harris's struggles with work-life balance and his reflections on the importance of self-care.

As the discussion shifts, Harris opens up about his personal and romantic relationships, particularly the impact of his demanding job on his love life. He reflects on a past relationship with "Kiki," emphasizing how his career focus led to communication breakdowns and ultimately the relationship's demise. The hosts delve into broader themes of love, self-love, and mental health, exploring how Harris might use the gym as an escape mechanism from unresolved issues. Throughout the conversation, the importance of addressing mental health and healing personal relationships emerges as a central theme, providing listeners with a raw and relatable perspective on navigating life's complexities.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Breathing is essential for human survival.
• 8:13 Discusses accidental relationship dynamics and feelings.
• 23:39 Love and work create personal compromise.
• 35:44 Balance and passion are both essential. Find time.
• 47:00 Love is essential for human well-being.
• 50:00 Address pain honestly to improve communication.
• 56:14 People fear change because it might be bad.
• 1:05:17 Adulthood includes life navigation and responsibilities.
• 1:14:55 Good inputs ensure health and happiness, especially love.
• 1:27:12 Inevitably return to what's most troubling.
• 1:48:12 Self-love is the most important relationship.

Transcript

Dennis [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode.

Harris [00:00:01]:
If you don't love yourself, you can't love anything else.

Eldar [00:00:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:00:04]:
Okay. And then you can love the world, people, friends, job and everything else.

Harris [00:00:08]:
If you don't love yourself, how can you know what love is?

Eldar [00:00:11]:
Wow. So all these things, right, that we're talking about leads to, again, what? You're not putting love as the priority.

Eldar [00:00:20]:
Right.

Eldar [00:00:21]:
And therefore you're going to be suffering the consequences.

Harris [00:00:24]:
Let me ask you a question. What's the first step to self love? Because I know I have to get my health in order. I know I need my rest.

Eldar [00:00:30]:
I know I need one big first step, I think for everyone. For everyone. This is a big one, I think. All right, today's topic, which is.

Harris [00:00:48]:
Probably.

Eldar [00:00:48]:
The most important topic, as we say, right? Love. Yeah, love.

Harris [00:00:52]:
You don't want to be lonely. Bastard.

Eldar [00:00:56]:
Yes, that's why. Let's talk about the quote that I got on my tea yesterday. And the quote was Harris.

Harris [00:01:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:01:05]:
Okay, good. You almost got it. Love is the ultimate law of life. Do we agree?

Harris [00:01:13]:
Why, Absolutely.

Eldar [00:01:14]:
Why do we agree?

Mike [00:01:15]:
I'd love to hear it from Harris first. Yeah, tell us.

Eldar [00:01:18]:
Why do we agree, Harris? Why is love the ultimate law of life?

Harris [00:01:22]:
It's not just about loving a significant other.

Eldar [00:01:25]:
Okay.

Harris [00:01:27]:
You have to love yourself. Okay.

Eldar [00:01:30]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:01:30]:
You gotta love life. Well, you know.

Eldar [00:01:35]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:01:36]:
Gotta love what you do.

Toliy [00:01:38]:
Drive tractors and eat barbecue.

Harris [00:01:41]:
Well, Fatoli, love is sales. You know, he doesn't have a wife. You know, he's been single for two years. Needs definitely a release.

Eldar [00:01:53]:
Okay.

Harris [00:01:55]:
But he loves something.

Eldar [00:01:57]:
He does.

Harris [00:01:57]:
Loves his friends.

Eldar [00:01:58]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:02:00]:
His dogs.

Harris [00:02:02]:
Well, your dogs.

Eldar [00:02:04]:
Well, you know what I'm talking about.

Toliy [00:02:05]:
First off, Warren gave us a card. Well, some of us.

Harris [00:02:10]:
Okay, sorry. Some of us. I got a message from.

Toliy [00:02:12]:
He gave us a card for. Right. For us to get a release from a sticky situation.

Eldar [00:02:18]:
Yes, right. Yes, you did give us a. Yeah.

Toliy [00:02:21]:
Some of us did. So.

Harris [00:02:22]:
Sorry, man, but I got. I got a Message from John J.C. it says, I see you whining and grinding all over the floor.

Eldar [00:02:36]:
All right, that's it. All right, nice. It's a little bit creepy. He's inviting you for a very specific. Okay, nice. That's love, is it? Yeah, it's a form of love. Yeah.

Toliy [00:02:48]:
That. That song is from a love song.

Eldar [00:02:50]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:02:51]:
That's great.

Eldar [00:02:52]:
All right, so you were on topic of love, Harris, you say that, you know, people have different loves. We should love ourselves. And why is it the most important thing.

Harris [00:03:04]:
If you don't love yourself? If you don't love, let's do this right. If you don't love yourself, you can't love anything else. That's the truth.

Eldar [00:03:17]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:03:17]:
How can you love something else? You don't love who you are on the inside.

Eldar [00:03:22]:
So that's almost. What you're saying is like, that's the prerequisite, Right. I'm gonna define that. What that is. That's like almost the easy way to say that is like, before you can love.

Harris [00:03:33]:
That's a quote right there. If you don't love yourself, you can't love.

Eldar [00:03:37]:
That's right. That's good. So that's like the beginning of it. You're supposed to love yourself first.

Harris [00:03:42]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:03:42]:
Okay. And then you can love the world, people, friends, job, and everything else.

Harris [00:03:47]:
If you don't love yourself, how can you know what love is?

Eldar [00:03:50]:
Wow.

Eldar [00:03:54]:
I like it. I like that. Mike. You like it?

Harris [00:04:00]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:04:00]:
No, he's. I mean, I. I gotta agree with him.

Eldar [00:04:02]:
You hear it? You hear it?

Mike [00:04:03]:
I hear him.

Eldar [00:04:04]:
Okay.

Mike [00:04:04]:
But question is, if we agree with it, right. Why is. Why is that quote make sense? Not. Not. Just because you love yourself doesn't make that the ultimate.

Eldar [00:04:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:04:17]:
Law of the universe.

Eldar [00:04:18]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:04:19]:
So what. What. What makes it the ultimate law of the universe?

Eldar [00:04:22]:
Like, why.

Mike [00:04:23]:
Why is it being said with such an importance? Harris?

Harris [00:04:28]:
Because it is very important.

Eldar [00:04:31]:
But why? He's asking why we agree. Let's just say we do agree that it's important. But why make something important? What's the reason that this love thing is so important for everyone?

Harris [00:04:47]:
I guess everyone has their own different definition, right?

Eldar [00:04:51]:
For sure.

Mike [00:04:51]:
But that still doesn't mean it's not up to definition. Right. It's like the way it's being said. Law is like a law. It applies to everybody, not just what you want or what I want.

Eldar [00:05:01]:
I'll give you an example. Loving something is Paris.

Harris [00:05:03]:
Probably one of the most important things in life. Sure.

Eldar [00:05:06]:
But give you an example of what Mike's trying to tell you. Like, a law is almost like we are all human, right?

Harris [00:05:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:11]:
And we all need. What?

Harris [00:05:13]:
Love.

Eldar [00:05:13]:
Okay. No way. Before you go to love, we all need to breathe air, right? We all breathe. That's kind of the law of our bodies. If we don't breathe for, you know, extended period of time, we die.

Harris [00:05:25]:
If you don't have love, okay. In my opinion, you're not experiencing a life to the fullest.

Eldar [00:05:33]:
Agreed.

Harris [00:05:34]:
Right.

Eldar [00:05:35]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:05:36]:
So if you're not experiencing life to the fullest, are you really living up to all the potential?

Mike [00:05:43]:
Yeah, that was a good question. But how'd you come to that. What made you realize or what makes you say that this is the most important thing? Like you have experience or like I.

Harris [00:05:55]:
Had experience with the one that got away.

Eldar [00:05:57]:
Oh, Kiki.

Harris [00:05:58]:
Kiki.

Mike [00:05:59]:
Okay, you loved her just because she let you do her in the booty.

Harris [00:06:03]:
No, I do love her, first of all.

Mike [00:06:06]:
You still do.

Harris [00:06:07]:
Yeah. I mean, that's never gonna go away. I tried dating other women.

Eldar [00:06:11]:
Okay.

Harris [00:06:12]:
But even for the time I did, it didn't feel the same.

Mike [00:06:17]:
So what's the reason that you love her? Maybe we can get it from this direction. The question answered.

Harris [00:06:24]:
We basically had a lot of sex. A lot in common.

Mike [00:06:28]:
Okay, so do you think having something in common is important for love?

Harris [00:06:33]:
No, but.

Eldar [00:06:34]:
So why'd you bring it into the court? Admission as evidence?

Harris [00:06:37]:
I don't know. It's.

Mike [00:06:38]:
Just restrict that from the record.

Harris [00:06:40]:
It was just that type of feeling, you know, it was always fun with her. It was always. Okay, enjoyable.

Eldar [00:06:49]:
Okay, now you're giving us some better clues.

Mike [00:06:50]:
Now you're giving some words.

Eldar [00:06:51]:
Yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:06:53]:
So part of love is being fun, is having fun.

Harris [00:06:57]:
It's having fun enjoying your time with that person.

Eldar [00:07:01]:
Okay. What else?

Toliy [00:07:04]:
Knowing that you and Garth can crush a Big Mac meal at any point.

Harris [00:07:10]:
She might listen to this. So you better watch yourself, man.

Eldar [00:07:12]:
Yeah, he's growing.

Harris [00:07:13]:
She gonna put you in your fate.

Toliy [00:07:15]:
I'm talking about Garth. Who's Garth?

Harris [00:07:16]:
Please, man. Anyway, it's about being able to experience life with that person or, you know, feel that. And someone you can always have a good time with, no matter, I guess, how bad the situation is.

Eldar [00:07:36]:
Okay, that's very good. I think that's very good. Clues. Should we ask him now, then, what constitutes a good time? Or who creates this good time?

Eldar [00:07:46]:
Right.

Eldar [00:07:46]:
Having fun and stuff like that.

Mike [00:07:47]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:07:48]:
Or what you could be doing anything. Right.

Mike [00:07:50]:
But what.

Harris [00:07:52]:
When we work together?

Eldar [00:07:53]:
Well, sure, I think that we have a very special.

Harris [00:07:56]:
It's a boring job.

Eldar [00:07:57]:
Mm.

Harris [00:07:59]:
But we made it fun.

Eldar [00:08:00]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:08:01]:
You know, it's someone you have to be able to enjoy basically everything with even the most boring shit, but also the most fun shit.

Eldar [00:08:13]:
Mm. We'll get to that later, you sick fuck. Okay, now to you. Is this love thing that you've created or experienced with Kiki was created by you two? Or you know exactly what to do? Or is it just kind of like, oops, this is a mere chance that this is just by chance that we both get along so well and it's kind of out of our control, and we're just kind of going with the flow that Makes sense.

Harris [00:08:44]:
What do you mean? So you. What, you want me to tell me how this all started?

Eldar [00:08:50]:
Okay, sure.

Harris [00:08:53]:
We met at work, but it wasn't the two of us that set each other up.

Eldar [00:09:00]:
Okay.

Harris [00:09:01]:
It was actually mutual friends, co workers that convinced us to give it a shot. And we did.

Eldar [00:09:07]:
Okay, nice.

Mike [00:09:09]:
And so you guys just fell in love right away?

Harris [00:09:13]:
No, I mean, sure, we did things. You rubbed bang after the first day. But hey.

Eldar [00:09:21]:
After the first day.

Harris [00:09:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:09:22]:
Wow.

Harris [00:09:25]:
A hotel. And we went back my old own bank. Wow.

Mike [00:09:29]:
So how was, like, the love created?

Harris [00:09:30]:
Like, how come spending time with each other?

Mike [00:09:34]:
How come. How come it. You got this love with Kiki but not other girls? Like, what do you think is different here? Or why did it happen with this person, not somebody else? Was it accident? Chance? Magic?

Harris [00:09:46]:
By chance?

Mike [00:09:47]:
I guess by chance. Do you think chance and law can be like a.

Harris [00:09:54]:
Maybe it was just we were in the right place at the right time.

Eldar [00:10:00]:
Okay, so would you say that in your specific example, the type of love you experienced was just kind of a mere chance of. Kind of lucky.

Harris [00:10:12]:
Or put in the same space for the.

Eldar [00:10:14]:
Mm.

Harris [00:10:19]:
You know, I've always been told, you know, yeah, everyone has. The one that got away, it's not real, and all this shit. I don't know. Did you have one that got away, man?

Eldar [00:10:32]:
Me?

Harris [00:10:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:10:33]:
No, I'm with the one that I wanted to stay. Stay put, you know? She didn't get away. No.

Harris [00:10:40]:
But did you ever experience that?

Eldar [00:10:43]:
The one that got away?

Harris [00:10:44]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:10:45]:
I don't think that's possible.

Eldar [00:10:47]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:10:48]:
Like, when you were younger, did you feel like, yo, that's the one that got away.

Mike [00:10:53]:
Do you think it's possible to confuse, like, a love for something else?

Eldar [00:10:57]:
Oh, yeah, I think so.

Harris [00:10:59]:
Because, like, do you think I'm. I'm doing that?

Mike [00:11:01]:
No, no, no. I'm.

Eldar [00:11:02]:
Well, we're trying to get to the.

Eldar [00:11:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:11:03]:
I think the question you're asking is like, hey, do you have. When they got away. Right.

Harris [00:11:07]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:11:07]:
But if it was love, do you think it would actually get away?

Harris [00:11:12]:
I think there can be things that lead up to it.

Mike [00:11:16]:
Meaning what? What does that mean, get lead up to it?

Harris [00:11:21]:
Like, we ended up going downhill for several reasons. Okay.

Eldar [00:11:26]:
Okay.

Mike [00:11:27]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:11:27]:
This is good because we went uphill first.

Harris [00:11:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:11:30]:
And now we went downhill.

Harris [00:11:32]:
First of all, I was working a lot.

Eldar [00:11:34]:
Okay.

Mike [00:11:35]:
And you had environments, relieve some stress, relief. Some stress.

Harris [00:11:38]:
I was working a lot.

Eldar [00:11:39]:
Okay. External stress.

Harris [00:11:40]:
Didn't. We ended up. It got to the point where we didn't have enough time for each other.

Eldar [00:11:46]:
Okay. So even though in the beginning you were spending time together and enjoying your.

Harris [00:11:49]:
Time together, started focusing on the career I had.

Eldar [00:11:52]:
Okay.

Harris [00:11:55]:
My boss would call me up. I would never say no, because I was trying to get to a certain point. I ended up getting to that point.

Eldar [00:12:02]:
So you traded work for a lot. I mean, love for work.

Harris [00:12:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:12:07]:
Okay.

Harris [00:12:09]:
I ended up getting to that point. I ended up becoming her boss. Unfortunately.

Eldar [00:12:13]:
Unfortunately.

Harris [00:12:15]:
And people were calling me out on letting her slide on things because.

Mike [00:12:20]:
Slide on what? On your thing.

Harris [00:12:24]:
On not doing certain things at work that she was supposed to do.

Eldar [00:12:28]:
The things that you were demanding of her.

Harris [00:12:30]:
Yeah, Okay. I was letting her sitting in the office all day.

Eldar [00:12:34]:
Wow.

Harris [00:12:34]:
On your lap while everyone else was working. I had friends that came up like, oh, you gotta do something because someone's gonna end up fucking reporting this.

Eldar [00:12:42]:
Yeah, yeah.

Harris [00:12:43]:
It's gonna look bad on you. I told her, hey, can't let you do that anymore.

Eldar [00:12:48]:
You fired her?

Harris [00:12:49]:
I didn't.

Eldar [00:12:50]:
Oh, okay.

Harris [00:12:51]:
I was telling her she gotta go to the flights. So this is gonna look bad on me. All this stuff like, you know, get outta here.

Eldar [00:12:58]:
Like, you have to leave.

Harris [00:13:01]:
No. Like, yo, you gotta go to the flights. You gotta meet the character.

Eldar [00:13:04]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Harris [00:13:06]:
You can't just be sitting in here because it was. People were starting to talk.

Eldar [00:13:10]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:13:11]:
But she kept saying, it's love.

Harris [00:13:13]:
No. So who the hell you think you telling what to do?

Eldar [00:13:16]:
Oh, shoot. So she became your boss.

Harris [00:13:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:13:20]:
Okay.

Harris [00:13:20]:
Okay, listen. You know, we got into an argument, several things. If it was under certain circumstances, things might have been different.

Eldar [00:13:32]:
Interesting.

Mike [00:13:34]:
So those. Those things that you.

Harris [00:13:36]:
When they say don't work with your significant other, it's the truth, man. Don't work a full time job with significant other.

Eldar [00:13:43]:
All right?

Harris [00:13:43]:
Especially when you got a higher up. This can cause problems, especially when you're at it.

Mike [00:13:48]:
So you think the working together ruined your relationship?

Harris [00:13:51]:
Yes.

Mike [00:13:51]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:13:53]:
Even though your relationship was started from you working together.

Harris [00:13:57]:
But I went up in the company, I became her boss. Yeah, I understand why they say, you.

Eldar [00:14:04]:
Know, you couldn't separate the two.

Harris [00:14:06]:
No, you guys, I understand why they say never date.

Mike [00:14:09]:
Yeah, but what do you think someone.

Harris [00:14:10]:
That is your boss.

Mike [00:14:12]:
So do you think that that actually happened because you weren't able to separate the two or.

Harris [00:14:16]:
Because I wasn't able to separate the two. My boss basically told me because he saw it coming. When he found out, I guess someone told him the two of us were dating. My supervisor now, I was the lead at night. Okay, Right. Started out as weekend lead, but still I was the only person in charge.

Eldar [00:14:36]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:14:36]:
Okay. Which at night, supervisor wasn't there. Okay. So I was running the fucking show.

Eldar [00:14:45]:
Okay.

Toliy [00:14:46]:
Out of curiosity, how much nano would you pay for footage of Harris running the show at this airport?

Eldar [00:14:52]:
Yeah. These are gonna be thousands of nano.

Harris [00:14:53]:
I was not running the whole airport. Okay. I was running the wheelchair assistant. So basically they were in charge of pushing customers.

Eldar [00:15:00]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:15:00]:
And unfortunately at night we had a lot of wild teenagers. Cause that's the only time they could.

Eldar [00:15:04]:
Wildlings.

Harris [00:15:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:15:06]:
Is that when they come out, like at night?

Harris [00:15:09]:
Well, we definitely got. I definitely got calls to come down there by the airport police because people were fighting on the fucking jet bridge.

Eldar [00:15:18]:
Wow.

Harris [00:15:20]:
Shit happens. But I think the two should not. My boss basically told me, like, listen, I understand you're dating her.

Eldar [00:15:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:15:30]:
He goes, conflict of interest and stuff like that.

Harris [00:15:33]:
Conflict of interest. He goes, yeah. If it starts causing problems, I'm going to have to move her to dates. Which we were working the night shift. That would have just fucking killed everything, dude. Working two different shifts.

Eldar [00:15:48]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:15:49]:
I didn't get off until 4:00 in the morning.

Eldar [00:15:51]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:15:52]:
Okay. But I started immensely. Myself into my work because at the time, I was the weekend lead. I wanted to be immensely.

Toliy [00:15:59]:
Yourself.

Harris [00:16:00]:
I was throwing myself into the work.

Mike [00:16:03]:
Immersing, by the way.

Toliy [00:16:04]:
Immersing?

Eldar [00:16:04]:
Yeah, like throwing.

Harris [00:16:05]:
Throwing myself into my work. I was weekend lead.

Eldar [00:16:08]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:16:08]:
My boss basically trained me to get to this point.

Eldar [00:16:11]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:16:12]:
Built a relationship with me, got me here. And he wanted to see if I could do it.

Eldar [00:16:16]:
Yeah.

Toliy [00:16:17]:
Which meant what were your responsibilities?

Harris [00:16:20]:
Making sure everyone was at the flights. Which I wasn't doing, technically.

Toliy [00:16:24]:
Like, who was on the flight?

Eldar [00:16:25]:
The passengers?

Harris [00:16:26]:
No, no.

Mike [00:16:26]:
The wheelchair people.

Harris [00:16:27]:
Yeah. They had to be at the flights.

Eldar [00:16:29]:
Yeah.

Toliy [00:16:30]:
Because my boss pushed to the flight.

Harris [00:16:33]:
We had to be at the flight whether there was people in need of a wheelchair when they were coming off or not. If there was an aisle chair, I needed to make sure the specific people that were able. An aisle chair. Do you know what that is?

Eldar [00:16:45]:
I get an idea of. What is it? It's a chair that's in the aisle, but for what? For wheelchair people.

Harris [00:16:52]:
Okay. And what do we do that for?

Eldar [00:16:54]:
So they can be the first ones to get out.

Harris [00:16:56]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:16:57]:
So it's easier to get out.

Harris [00:16:58]:
Okay. First of all, aisle chairs are for people that are paralyzed, don't have legs, and therefore we need to lift them onto the chair and trap them in.

Eldar [00:17:06]:
Yeah, yeah. Okay. So you need the most amount of room.

Harris [00:17:10]:
Okay. And I. What do you mean most amount of Room.

Eldar [00:17:13]:
No, to move them around. So it has to be an aisle.

Harris [00:17:15]:
It's a chair that fits to. Through the aisle.

Eldar [00:17:18]:
Okay.

Harris [00:17:19]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:17:19]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:17:20]:
Specific size.

Eldar [00:17:21]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:17:21]:
Okay. But in order to do this, you need two people front on the back.

Eldar [00:17:27]:
Okay.

Harris [00:17:28]:
So I always needed someone else there to help me. Strongest person. My job was to make sure I coordinated everything.

Eldar [00:17:34]:
And many times you showed up by yourself doing this thing.

Harris [00:17:36]:
Actually, yeah, I did.

Eldar [00:17:38]:
And you would drag the person on the floor.

Harris [00:17:40]:
No. How would you be calling?

Eldar [00:17:42]:
Can you explain to me? How would you lift the front of it?

Harris [00:17:43]:
I'd be calling. Okay. I've had a couple times where legally we're supposed to have two people.

Eldar [00:17:49]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:17:49]:
But they're able to lift themselves onto the chair.

Eldar [00:17:52]:
Okay. So those was like.

Harris [00:17:53]:
So it's like, yo. I was like, listen, you know, I'm still waiting on someone to be like, no, no, no, I can do it. Just help me with my arms. I say, okay, yeah. And they'll be able to.

Eldar [00:18:01]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Harris [00:18:02]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:18:03]:
Swing themselves in legally.

Harris [00:18:05]:
Not supposed to do that.

Eldar [00:18:06]:
Okay.

Harris [00:18:07]:
Because if something happens.

Eldar [00:18:08]:
Of course.

Eldar [00:18:09]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:18:10]:
That's on me.

Eldar [00:18:11]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:18:11]:
Because I didn't have a second person.

Eldar [00:18:12]:
Okay.

Harris [00:18:13]:
But my job is to coordinate everything. Right. My job is to make sure all the employees know when that flight is coming in. My job is to literally watch the flight on the thing.

Eldar [00:18:24]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:18:24]:
And when I see it's on approach, I basically say, wheels down on United.

Eldar [00:18:30]:
You like saying that?

Harris [00:18:32]:
Oh, I love saying that.

Eldar [00:18:33]:
Can you. Okay. Can you get into character and say it right now?

Harris [00:18:37]:
Really?

Eldar [00:18:38]:
Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Hold on one second. Let me close my eyes first.

Harris [00:18:40]:
Like, when it's on a final approach. Okay.

Eldar [00:18:43]:
You're telling the people that are sleeping like, I'm your worker.

Eldar [00:18:46]:
Right.

Eldar [00:18:46]:
Everyone's working here. All right, guys, close it, close it. Close your eyes.

Harris [00:18:49]:
Really? Right now, please. Wheels down on United airlines. United flight 1614.

Toliy [00:18:54]:
Okay.

Harris [00:18:55]:
Gate A6.

Eldar [00:18:56]:
That's pretty good. I'm getting up.

Eldar [00:18:58]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:18:59]:
Then I'd say that on Milwaukee.

Eldar [00:19:00]:
Okay.

Harris [00:19:02]:
I love that point. Everyone's on the way there. The plane's taxiing. Everyone's supposed to be on their way there.

Eldar [00:19:06]:
Are you yelling at any point at this point, telling people to go or. No.

Harris [00:19:11]:
So I'd meet the aircraft.

Eldar [00:19:12]:
Okay. Personally.

Harris [00:19:14]:
Personally.

Eldar [00:19:15]:
Wow.

Harris [00:19:15]:
And when I see I have two guys missing, I know damn well they're not fucking pushing someone still. Because we haven't had a flight for a fucking hour.

Eldar [00:19:24]:
Wow.

Harris [00:19:26]:
So I, you know, what do you do?

Eldar [00:19:28]:
You start scrambling and scraping for shit.

Harris [00:19:30]:
What do you mean?

Eldar [00:19:31]:
What do you start doing? You start panicking probably?

Harris [00:19:33]:
No, I start calling them. I said, okay, you know, and spilled.

Eldar [00:19:37]:
Milk on aisle five.

Harris [00:19:38]:
No. Oh, you know, like some of these planes, we'd have like fucking supposedly 10 people listed for wheelchair.

Toliy [00:19:46]:
What?

Harris [00:19:47]:
Yeah, dude. Like, there were times we once had.

Eldar [00:19:49]:
A. I don't think I ever seen a wheelchair person on one airplane.

Harris [00:19:52]:
Like, I've seen maybe one, like at our airport. Our. We need to have our chairs lined up on the jet bridge so the person can get off the aircraft and get on the plane.

Toliy [00:20:02]:
Wait, is this when you were doing pcp?

Harris [00:20:05]:
No.

Eldar [00:20:06]:
Oh, my God.

Harris [00:20:06]:
So what you don't understand is these people a lot of times are off first.

Eldar [00:20:11]:
Okay.

Harris [00:20:11]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:20:12]:
Of course. They have to be.

Eldar [00:20:13]:
Yeah, yeah.

Harris [00:20:14]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:20:14]:
They don't hold VIP tickets, though. They don't have like first class.

Harris [00:20:18]:
But sometimes we'll still be sitting there waiting for the person to come off because they're slow. Is.

Toliy [00:20:23]:
You have to. Do you have to like, entertain them too and stuff?

Harris [00:20:26]:
No, but. Okay. When I don't have someone there, I get on the radio. Let's use my buddy Maurice for a minute. I go, yo, more Maurice, where you at? The flights here? Where are you at?

Eldar [00:20:40]:
There's no ifs or buts.

Harris [00:20:42]:
Yeah. There's no way you're pushing anybody because we haven't had a flight for an hour.

Eldar [00:20:46]:
Mm.

Harris [00:20:47]:
Doesn't take that fucking long.

Eldar [00:20:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:20:48]:
Obviously Maurice is just mucking around.

Harris [00:20:52]:
Exactly.

Eldar [00:20:53]:
Okay, what is he usually, though? He's like in the back.

Harris [00:20:56]:
Me and him are probably the only guys that took two wheelchairs at once. Like, two people at once. Okay, so we'd push.

Eldar [00:21:03]:
What are some things that Maurice would do? And you would catch him right handed doing.

Harris [00:21:07]:
I let Maurice slide on a couple things because he was one of my. He's probably one of the hardest workers.

Eldar [00:21:11]:
Okay, so give me some examples. What you caught Maurice doing red handed?

Harris [00:21:15]:
Nothing.

Eldar [00:21:16]:
Okay.

Harris [00:21:16]:
Okay. He did, you know, a little, you know.

Eldar [00:21:20]:
Yeah, yeah.

Harris [00:21:21]:
Got it right in the parking lot.

Toliy [00:21:23]:
Okay, wait, you'd be able to wheelchair two people at the same time?

Harris [00:21:26]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:21:26]:
How?

Harris [00:21:27]:
You grab one handle and the other handle and you have to basically together bend over before force and basically use all your force to turn.

Eldar [00:21:36]:
Go back to the mic and say.

Harris [00:21:37]:
That you have to use. Bend over a little bit.

Eldar [00:21:41]:
Are they hitting elbows against each other while you do this with their knees?

Harris [00:21:44]:
No, no.

Eldar [00:21:44]:
Okay.

Harris [00:21:45]:
Of course I'd get the.

Mike [00:21:45]:
Wow.

Toliy [00:21:46]:
How do you wheel two people?

Eldar [00:21:47]:
That's what you just said. You put them together and.

Toliy [00:21:49]:
But then they would have to Be elbow to elbow.

Eldar [00:21:51]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:21:51]:
You. You use one hand here, one hand here, and you push. Use all your strength to make the turn.

Eldar [00:21:57]:
And this is obviously because they. Both those people are going to the same parking lot, same place.

Harris [00:22:01]:
Not all the time, though. Oh, I dropped one off and then.

Eldar [00:22:04]:
Drop the other because I. Yeah. My question. My next question would be, how would you separate yourself into, like, two in order to go to two different places?

Harris [00:22:11]:
You drop one off and then you drop the other.

Eldar [00:22:13]:
Okay. So the other one just kind of, like, straggling around.

Harris [00:22:16]:
Yeah, they're coming around for the ride.

Toliy [00:22:18]:
For the ride.

Harris [00:22:19]:
Like, if I have one person going to the garage.

Eldar [00:22:22]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:22:22]:
Okay. I drop the person that's going to the front desk. Front. Front area.

Eldar [00:22:26]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:22:27]:
I put the breakdown. Leave the wheelchair there.

Eldar [00:22:29]:
What, do you tell them anything? Or you just kind of go.

Harris [00:22:31]:
I'll be like, all right, this is you. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Eldar [00:22:34]:
Okay, nice.

Harris [00:22:36]:
Take the person. The next person to the parking garage. Okay.

Toliy [00:22:39]:
Tip you or what?

Harris [00:22:40]:
Yeah. So much. I've had some dicks that tipped me a dollar. That's someone that tipped me on a bill.

Eldar [00:22:48]:
And you judged them because you knew their life story, why they're tipping $1 versus.

Harris [00:22:52]:
Well, I had someone once, okay. I had these rich people who think they're entitled, the services included. I rolled them over to the valet parking area.

Eldar [00:23:00]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:23:01]:
Dropped them off at their Mercedes G wagon and didn't get a fucking dime.

Eldar [00:23:04]:
Mm. Okay.

Mike [00:23:07]:
How are they driving a car G wagon with no legs?

Harris [00:23:09]:
They have legs. The is wrong.

Eldar [00:23:13]:
They have the special one. All right, Harris, let's get back to love. Okay?

Harris [00:23:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:23:17]:
So to me, at least, the story that you talked about. Right. Was a clear defining factor where why your love.

Eldar [00:23:25]:
Right.

Eldar [00:23:25]:
Was kind of dissipated or this, you know, like you said, got away. The love that got away. Right. But we have a problem because the quote that we read earlier was said. What? Love is the ultimate law of life.

Harris [00:23:38]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:23:39]:
Right? So look, here you are, right? You're in love, and you're having such a good time. You're enjoying yourself, partying, hanging out, having fun. But then on the other hand, your job is standing in the way of you enjoying that. That process. So what happens, right? You become compromised. You compromise.

Eldar [00:23:57]:
Right?

Harris [00:23:58]:
I compromised my love.

Eldar [00:23:59]:
You compromised your love for the job, making money. Yeah, exactly. Okay? And now it's kind of.

Harris [00:24:05]:
A lot of people do this.

Eldar [00:24:06]:
So it's not just. It's not just as, like, love that got away. It's love that you kind of slipped away.

Eldar [00:24:11]:
Right.

Harris [00:24:11]:
A Lot of people do this, okay? They match themselves in their work, and I agree.

Eldar [00:24:16]:
I agree.

Harris [00:24:17]:
The love life goes to shit. I agree.

Eldar [00:24:19]:
So the question is, if love is the law of life, Right. Should we take it a little bit more seriously?

Harris [00:24:28]:
Absolutely.

Eldar [00:24:30]:
Right. Because, for example, I fell in love 15 years ago.

Harris [00:24:33]:
I regretted my fucking decision.

Mike [00:24:36]:
But you're still politicking with the girl.

Harris [00:24:38]:
I'm still. I am now. We reconnected, okay? Yeah, we reconnected.

Mike [00:24:44]:
Are you planning to win her back and fall back in love?

Harris [00:24:48]:
She wants me to come down for a visit to help.

Eldar [00:24:51]:
Wait, what'd you say? You wanted her to come help you visit?

Harris [00:24:55]:
No, she wanted me to come down for a visit. I wanted her to come here. We agreed. We do both.

Eldar [00:24:59]:
Okay. I see where it goes.

Harris [00:25:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:02]:
All right.

Harris [00:25:02]:
We want to see if there's anything still there before we jump into something serious. Yeah.

Eldar [00:25:08]:
Okay.

Mike [00:25:08]:
So the. The things that contributed right. To your love breaking or falling apart. Do you think then the opposite of that is the things that, like, she. Oh, thank you.

Harris [00:25:20]:
Six. I'm just saying some here, so.

Mike [00:25:22]:
Yeah, no problem. No, I'm not.

Harris [00:25:23]:
Yeah, I was four months. She bought promise rings. The whole nine yard.

Eldar [00:25:27]:
She bought promise.

Harris [00:25:28]:
She brought. One day I come in, and I have a Harley Davidson promise ring.

Eldar [00:25:33]:
Wow.

Eldar [00:25:34]:
Beautiful.

Harris [00:25:35]:
I'm like, yo, what the.

Mike [00:25:37]:
Was it a ring or.

Eldar [00:25:38]:
Oh, yeah. What kind of ring was it?

Harris [00:25:40]:
Some ring you put on there. And my buddy Maurice goes, damn, she branded you already. She go. They goes, damn, she branded you already. Damn, bro. She letting other women know. Don't. With my man.

Mike [00:25:53]:
She locks you up, man.

Eldar [00:25:55]:
All right?

Harris [00:25:56]:
And, like, if I wasn't wearing it, she. She pointed out, like, yo, where's the ring?

Toliy [00:26:01]:
What would you say?

Harris [00:26:01]:
Pull out your pants. You. Bro, it was a ring, like, on the ring finger. She'd be like, yo, where's your ring? Yeah, my buddy Maurice would just kind of smile and chuckle a little bit, walk away like, you in trouble.

Eldar [00:26:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:26:16]:
Did. Did you sometimes wear the ring on your finger and also on your.

Harris [00:26:21]:
You, man. Yeah, but.

Eldar [00:26:26]:
So. Okay. Yeah, so it got away.

Harris [00:26:27]:
It got away, and I regretted it for a while.

Eldar [00:26:30]:
So it let.

Mike [00:26:31]:
No, you let it get away.

Harris [00:26:32]:
I let it get away.

Mike [00:26:33]:
You let it get away.

Eldar [00:26:34]:
Okay.

Harris [00:26:35]:
I wasn't taking it seriously in the end of it.

Eldar [00:26:38]:
Yeah, I regretted it because ultimately, what, you can't be having fun anymore, right? You're not enjoying yourself as much. You're not in love.

Harris [00:26:48]:
What do you mean?

Eldar [00:26:50]:
Well, after.

Harris [00:26:51]:
After.

Eldar [00:26:51]:
After everything. Like, you guys broke up, obviously.

Harris [00:26:53]:
Yeah, I beat myself Up.

Eldar [00:26:55]:
You beat yourself up.

Harris [00:26:58]:
It ended right where it started.

Eldar [00:26:59]:
So what'd you stand for?

Harris [00:27:03]:
I like it.

Eldar [00:27:05]:
Was it a heartbreak?

Harris [00:27:06]:
Yeah. I was devastated when she said that. Like, I felt it in my. In my chest.

Mike [00:27:11]:
Like she broke up with you?

Harris [00:27:12]:
Yeah. Like, have you ever felt that when someone breaks over you, it's like.

Eldar [00:27:15]:
Yeah, I felt, like, pain. Yeah.

Mike [00:27:18]:
Did she say why?

Harris [00:27:25]:
She said it wasn't working out anymore. She was right.

Eldar [00:27:29]:
She was right.

Harris [00:27:30]:
Yeah. We weren't having fun. We weren't enjoying ourselves. I wasn't spending a lot of time with her. I wasn't banging her brains out. Cements in myself and work. And I. I guess I kind of pushed her away.

Eldar [00:27:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:27:48]:
So it wasn't working out. So you guys. You did certain things that pushed her away? That pushed her away and stopped the fun.

Harris [00:27:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:27:57]:
Mm.

Harris [00:27:59]:
Weren't going on dates.

Mike [00:28:02]:
What are some type of things that stop people from having fun? Not necessarily. Not only in romantic ones, but could be any relationship. Please show with yourself.

Eldar [00:28:12]:
Right.

Mike [00:28:13]:
Or with a friend or a parent. What do you think stops the having fun?

Eldar [00:28:20]:
Right.

Mike [00:28:20]:
Like me and you were having fun all of a sudden.

Eldar [00:28:22]:
Right.

Mike [00:28:22]:
We're hanging out, we're having fun, and then. And then all of a sudden, now we're not. What has. What changed? What do you think happened?

Harris [00:28:31]:
I did something. You did something.

Mike [00:28:33]:
You know, this doesn't matter.

Eldar [00:28:34]:
Well, one person's, you know, focus on the job. Focus on work, for example.

Mike [00:28:38]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:28:39]:
You know, decided to go and kind of. We were all.

Harris [00:28:41]:
I thought me focusing on my job would create me having enough money to.

Eldar [00:28:50]:
I guess, have more fun.

Harris [00:28:52]:
Have more fun and, you know, create a life.

Eldar [00:28:54]:
How come. How come she was. That conversation wasn't had.

Harris [00:28:58]:
It wasn't had.

Eldar [00:28:59]:
It wasn't.

Harris [00:28:59]:
I didn't have it with her.

Eldar [00:29:00]:
Oh, yeah. So you.

Harris [00:29:01]:
I thought me going higher up in the company.

Eldar [00:29:03]:
Okay.

Harris [00:29:04]:
Would set us up for better success.

Eldar [00:29:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:29:06]:
You kept that a secret.

Harris [00:29:07]:
The pay wasn't worth it, so it wasn't creating really anything.

Eldar [00:29:10]:
So why'd you keep it a secret? You didn't want her to know how much money you have.

Harris [00:29:15]:
Hold on. When I was in Jacksonville, okay, I was in love with my girlfriend, but I chose work.

John [00:29:23]:
Can I use this coaster, please?

Harris [00:29:25]:
Working. Go ahead. I chose working non stop instead of my love for her. All right, so back to what I was saying. I thought I was creating a life for myself, for us, but, no, I didn't have the conversation with us, but I automatically thought she would appreciate it. I thought. I assumed, I guess she would appreciate Me being a hard worker and all that. But no, I didn't have the conversation with her.

Harris [00:29:58]:
And I guess I focused too much on work and neglected my response.

Eldar [00:30:02]:
Why wouldn't you share something like that with the person you love? Because it sounds like a very important piece of information. Yeah, right. Especially if you want to build a life.

Harris [00:30:10]:
Kind of slipped my mind, I guess.

Eldar [00:30:12]:
Really?

Harris [00:30:12]:
I focus on it. And I guess I forgot my responsibilities as a boyfriend.

Mike [00:30:16]:
So you knew what the right thing to do was, but you forgot it?

Harris [00:30:20]:
I guess I didn't realize I had to have the conversation. I thought she'd see where I'm coming from. I wanted to move up into the company.

Eldar [00:30:29]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:30:30]:
And hopefully provide a better life for all of us, including Garth.

John [00:30:36]:
So you're not hard working, Right?

Mike [00:30:39]:
No.

Eldar [00:30:39]:
So you didn't accomplish that when I was.

Harris [00:30:42]:
Let me. Let me put it this way. When I was a laborer, I immense myself into the work and I guess. I don't know. So I want to have a personal life again. Okay. All right. Yeah, I guess it's not a good idea to just throw yourself.

Harris [00:31:01]:
Just nothing but work. Like I said, I'd work the night shift. I'd work until 4am My boss would call me, hey, is there any way you can come in again on your day off at 10:00am sure, no problem. Okay, so I get off from 4:00am, go to sleep for a little bit, get up. Not take my meds, by the way. So I'd rest, I guess, not sleep, get up, go to work, half asleep. Wow. Do another thing because, hey, he said, yeah, we got a lead opening up.

Harris [00:31:28]:
Lead position.

Mike [00:31:29]:
I think he was yanking your chain, even though you might like getting your chain yanked.

Harris [00:31:32]:
But no, because I did move up.

Mike [00:31:35]:
He didn't. He did actually move you up. He wasn't playing you.

Harris [00:31:37]:
Okay, but.

Eldar [00:31:41]:
But you've learned a lesson. You said, hey, like, I can't be killing myself working, working, working all the time. I'm not having any fun.

Eldar [00:31:47]:
Right.

Eldar [00:31:48]:
You can say you don't have your own personal time.

Harris [00:31:49]:
It wasn't worth the money because I was getting paid $10 an hour to be elite.

Eldar [00:31:55]:
Okay. Oh, wow.

Harris [00:31:57]:
$10.

Mike [00:31:58]:
But this is.

Eldar [00:31:59]:
This is.

Harris [00:31:59]:
This is Mexico, though, Plus tips.

Eldar [00:32:01]:
This is in Mexico.

Harris [00:32:02]:
Plus tips.

Mike [00:32:03]:
No, this is in 1950s Mexico.

Harris [00:32:04]:
I got to get out of here.

John [00:32:05]:
This was amount.

Harris [00:32:07]:
This was.

Toliy [00:32:07]:
Wait, how much were you getting paid before you got the promotion?

Eldar [00:32:11]:
Wait, that's right.

Harris [00:32:12]:
The leaders less.

Toliy [00:32:13]:
So you went monopoly money. 10. And this is how you were trying to start a life for.

Eldar [00:32:17]:
You were you excited when you got a raise?

Harris [00:32:19]:
I didn't have a. I didn't have a college diploma. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of options. Jacksonville was kind of cheap to live in. Yeah, right.

Mike [00:32:26]:
You're illegal.

Harris [00:32:27]:
I was paying about 350 for a fucking room. $3.50, 350 for a room. Of course, I wasn't in the best area. I was in the hood. Let's put it this way. The Black Panthers were right down the street. There was a street gang known as the Black Panthers.

Mike [00:32:47]:
What's the Black Panther?

John [00:32:48]:
If you really saw that movie, if.

Toliy [00:32:50]:
You really wanted to make a, you know, some extra pay, were you offering any other services?

Harris [00:32:56]:
No, I was delivering bags when there was no flight. Yeah, I was.

Eldar [00:33:02]:
Okay.

Harris [00:33:03]:
I was carrying bags for people.

Eldar [00:33:05]:
All right, well, listen, we started with the conversation about love.

Harris [00:33:08]:
I neglected.

Eldar [00:33:09]:
And you said. Right. You said, before you can love anyone or have love from someone else.

Eldar [00:33:13]:
Right.

Eldar [00:33:14]:
The most important thing is to love yourself. To love yourself.

Harris [00:33:16]:
Which I did not do. I abused myself.

Eldar [00:33:18]:
Yes, you abused yourself. So the, you know, no sleep.

Eldar [00:33:22]:
Yes.

Harris [00:33:24]:
And I decided, you know, did you.

Eldar [00:33:26]:
Learn that lesson finally?

Harris [00:33:27]:
No, because I was gonna do it again. Remember, I said I was gonna go home.

Eldar [00:33:31]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:33:31]:
And work until 9:00 at night.

Eldar [00:33:33]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:33:34]:
You know, and I still don't, I guess, love myself. Right. Because I'm still going out, getting up and getting sick and not watching my weight.

Eldar [00:33:45]:
Wow.

Harris [00:33:47]:
So I guess I'm not fully loving myself. Sure. I'm trying to find the work life.

Eldar [00:33:50]:
Balance, but for some reason, when you were saying all those statements to me, you looked like you were. You were jacked. I was like, you were jacked.

Harris [00:34:00]:
Like I was.

Eldar [00:34:01]:
No, not like, jacked, like, up. I'm saying, like, right now, like, you know what you get?

Toliy [00:34:05]:
You're just growing, like, jacked up on Mountain Dew.

Eldar [00:34:08]:
Like, jacked.

Eldar [00:34:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:34:09]:
Like, he's strong.

Harris [00:34:10]:
Like, he looks strong.

John [00:34:11]:
Jack in, off.

Harris [00:34:12]:
I. This is very serious conversation.

John [00:34:15]:
I am serious.

Harris [00:34:16]:
I seriously, I guess I'm work. Doing the work life balance.

Eldar [00:34:20]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:34:21]:
But I'm not taking care of my health. I'm not.

Eldar [00:34:24]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:34:25]:
I'm still trying to. Because I told Dolly, like, I was like, yeah, like, I'm gonna go. I want a laptop. Because I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna work until 9pm yeah. He said, you can't do that. You know, that's just gonna kill you.

Eldar [00:34:39]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:34:40]:
But I guess it's still there in the back of my head that, hey, I. I can do this. I can work until 9pm I can. I can push it a little.

Eldar [00:34:48]:
Okay.

Mike [00:34:49]:
So I guess when they made the statement, work harder, not smarter, they're talking about you.

Harris [00:34:56]:
I don't fucking know.

Eldar [00:34:57]:
I think, Yeah, I think that the. There's an important thing about balance and knowing how to balance yourself. However.

Eldar [00:35:03]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:03]:
However. I think that there's a big difference between following your passion, following something that you really like, and overdoing versus doing something.

Eldar [00:35:12]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:12]:
Well, mindlessly not knowing where it's going to get you.

Eldar [00:35:16]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:16]:
And why, and you're not really passionate about. There's two different things. Because I think that you can maybe work a little bit extra if you want to because you actually like every day. Yes. Some people work all the time because they really like what they do. And I think we should all try to strive towards something like that.

Eldar [00:35:34]:
Right.

Eldar [00:35:34]:
So it's not like, oh, I'll just work Monday through Friday and then we can even.

Harris [00:35:38]:
Mike pointed it out. He goes, you brought up the fitness that if you do this, you have no time for the gym.

Eldar [00:35:44]:
Yeah, no, I think that, like I said, balance is very important. But I'm saying that those people who actually like what they do and they do it long enough, you know, they just naturally lose themselves in the process or what they do because they like it, and time to them becomes irrelevant. And does. That does not mean that this is not good for them. I actually think that it is good for them. You know what I mean? But nonetheless, I think that if you do want to go work out or you. You want to do something for yourself, you should definitely find the time to do so.

Harris [00:36:14]:
Which I've been neglecting for the past.

Eldar [00:36:16]:
Correct. Correct. So in your case, I don't think you found the balance yet between, let's just say maybe working, you know, business and pleasure. Right. But when you do construct those things, I think one doesn't hurt the other. There's a fine balance and there's a nice line where you can enjoy both. Because like I said, a lot of times when me and Tolly talk about the conversation about work. Right.

Eldar [00:36:37]:
On Sunday. Right on Sunday. Or even during the weekend. A lot of time like, damn, I wish I was at work. I. Doing something, you know, like with you guys for whatever reason, because we actually like work.

Harris [00:36:47]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:36:48]:
Right.

Eldar [00:36:48]:
So I enjoy.

Harris [00:36:49]:
I. I enjoy.

Eldar [00:36:50]:
Yeah, Monday. So we enjoy Mondays.

Harris [00:36:52]:
You don't, you don't understand this because you're Spanish. No, because John, do you have a micromanager?

Mike [00:37:01]:
No, he doesn't know what that means.

Harris [00:37:02]:
Do you enjoy your boss?

Eldar [00:37:04]:
Wait, no.

Harris [00:37:06]:
Do you like working for.

Eldar [00:37:07]:
Every time he's. Wait, wait, wait.

Harris [00:37:09]:
Hold on.

Eldar [00:37:10]:
I'll ask one question.

John [00:37:11]:
He's okay.

Eldar [00:37:11]:
When the boss is climbing the ladder, are you looking underneath his skirt?

John [00:37:18]:
I gotta get. I gotta get out of here.

Harris [00:37:21]:
That's your answer. But do you like working for your boss? Can you shoot this shit with him? Do you chill after work?

John [00:37:30]:
No, I don't chill after work. Catch.

Harris [00:37:34]:
Do you like working for your boss? Can you shoot the shit with him? Can you have a conversation with him?

John [00:37:39]:
I try not to.

Eldar [00:37:43]:
Why? Oh, go ahead.

Harris [00:37:46]:
Why?

Eldar [00:37:47]:
No, no, no, I'll retract it.

Harris [00:37:49]:
Why?

Eldar [00:37:49]:
No, no, retract mine.

Harris [00:37:51]:
Why?

John [00:37:53]:
Because he's annoying.

Harris [00:37:57]:
So you don't have work life balance? Well, no. You don't have an enjoyment at your work?

John [00:38:03]:
No, I like working.

Harris [00:38:04]:
You like working?

John [00:38:05]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:38:06]:
Do you like the people you work with?

John [00:38:08]:
Because from what we discussed, we got some annoying people.

Harris [00:38:11]:
Okay? Some annoying people at this workplace.

Mike [00:38:16]:
Ah, we're all annoying.

Harris [00:38:18]:
We're all annoying. But we're also. We enjoy each other's company. We fucking shoot the shit. We have a good time.

Eldar [00:38:25]:
Well, look, I think he, he, he accomplished one thing. He likes what he does. That's what it sounds like, right? However, not everyone can also have a good boss on top of that. That's like a bonus.

Harris [00:38:37]:
You can't all have an elderism over here, man.

Eldar [00:38:39]:
This is true. You know what I mean? But obviously he would like it. Anybody would like that, right? To do both.

Harris [00:38:47]:
Back to what we were talking about. I think we talked about this a couple weeks ago. That I haven't been loving myself. And then I've been abusing the shit out of my. That's right, my body and. Yeah, killing myself.

Mike [00:39:02]:
That's why you've been getting sick, you said.

Harris [00:39:03]:
Yeah, yeah, I've been killing myself. Yeah, I've been partying, drinking, not giving myself a chance to fucking recover because then what did I do the next day?

John [00:39:16]:
Party and drink.

Harris [00:39:18]:
And I've been abusing the shit out of it. And I haven't come to the realization that I'm not as young as I used to be, that I can just get over it the next day.

Eldar [00:39:26]:
Okay, so no self love.

Harris [00:39:30]:
No self love. So I guess I can't really talk on the subject. Yeah, okay. I guess I just identified that, didn't I? That I hadn't been giving myself self love.

Eldar [00:39:40]:
That's right. That's right. And the most important thing, right, like you said, it starts. Love starts with yourself.

Harris [00:39:47]:
Yeah, right. I guess I've been abusing the shit out of myself.

Eldar [00:39:50]:
So would you say that you're ready to be in a relationship with Kerry?

Harris [00:39:55]:
Probably not. Oh, I got. Maybe it's time I take a little time to focus on myself.

Eldar [00:39:59]:
Did you think about this situation in this, in this way before we talked about this just now?

Harris [00:40:05]:
No. No.

Eldar [00:40:06]:
Oh, wow. So what are we thinking, Mike? Interesting turn of events. And Harris's realizations on love and how important it is to have self love for yourself before you can start branching out relationships and all this other stuff.

Mike [00:40:21]:
Oh, yeah.

Eldar [00:40:22]:
You know.

Mike [00:40:23]:
Yeah. I mean, I had that realization not too long ago myself. So yeah, I know where he's hand.

Eldar [00:40:27]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:40:28]:
But for a long time you don't think like that.

Eldar [00:40:30]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:40:31]:
Nor do you know what's going on actually. What's the actual thing that's going on. You don't see that you don't love yourself. You don't treat yourself right.

Eldar [00:40:39]:
Or yeah.

Mike [00:40:40]:
You know, you don't respect your body and respect yourself and all kinds of things. You know, operating out of certain things.

Eldar [00:40:47]:
Yeah. And I think that love or love for self and not having the ability to be in that state or, you know, enjoy yourself properly. Right. You. You almost feel deprived. Right.

Harris [00:41:03]:
Damn.

Eldar [00:41:04]:
You feel deprived for a very long time. Right.

Mike [00:41:06]:
I think what. I think it's interesting. I was just thinking about this. His behavior.

Eldar [00:41:12]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:41:13]:
Is of a like a very deprived person.

Eldar [00:41:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:41:15]:
Because even though he's lacking, he's tired, he needs rest, he still wants to go out and beat up his body. Which is. I think a lot of people do do this.

Harris [00:41:25]:
Like when I get home from work. Right. Or I got home from your basketball gym. Normal. The normal thing, Right. Would be to go to bed, right?

Eldar [00:41:36]:
Yeah.

John [00:41:37]:
And then check off me.

Harris [00:41:38]:
I'm like, nah, you know what? I'm gonna watch some tv.

Eldar [00:41:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:41:42]:
Oh, that's not bad.

Mike [00:41:43]:
That's not bad.

Eldar [00:41:43]:
No.

Mike [00:41:43]:
I thought you said you were saying.

Eldar [00:41:44]:
Yeah, I thought you said.

Harris [00:41:45]:
Then I was like, you know what? I'm having a good time. I'm watching some.

Mike [00:41:48]:
Let me make a.

Harris [00:41:50]:
No, let me continue watching.

Eldar [00:41:52]:
And I attack myself.

Harris [00:41:53]:
Yeah. And I continue watching instead of going to bed.

Eldar [00:41:57]:
Sometimes, you know, it's like you overdo it. I overdo it.

Mike [00:42:00]:
But I think that's like, that's part.

Eldar [00:42:02]:
Of learning about yourself.

Mike [00:42:03]:
But I think that's not bad. Like coming home watching TV is not terrible.

Harris [00:42:07]:
But doing it until midnight, one o'clock in the morning.

Eldar [00:42:09]:
Yeah, it might. It just an excess probably is worse.

Harris [00:42:13]:
It's like you're watching something and you don't want to stop.

Mike [00:42:16]:
Oh, yeah. I think that's it. Probably you could have said, actually, no, I'm gonna go take a ride into New York City because I wanted to get some pizza. That would be a little bit more Right.

Harris [00:42:27]:
Maybe. Yeah.

Mike [00:42:28]:
You know, but staying home, watching tv. Like after that game, I also stayed. I came.

Harris [00:42:32]:
Yeah, but how long? How. What time did you stay up?

Mike [00:42:36]:
Probably till one. But I came home.

Eldar [00:42:38]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:42:39]:
Actually after the game, I ate something a little bit, probably. I don't remember what I had. I ate something and then I turned on the tv, I made myself some tea. I stayed downstairs in the living room. Like, I relaxed. So it was like. To me, it wasn't like. It was more of like a winding down self care routine.

Eldar [00:42:57]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:42:58]:
Versus like beating myself up, like, thing.

Harris [00:43:02]:
I just want to stay. Yeah. Okay.

Eldar [00:43:04]:
Oh, yeah, please.

Harris [00:43:05]:
I just texted my brother. All right. He's terrible with communication, which I told you about.

Eldar [00:43:12]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:43:14]:
He talked about me coming tomorrow night to see him.

Eldar [00:43:18]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:43:19]:
So I texted him Tuesday after we talked, said, hey, Ari, I hope you had a good day. Is there any news about this weekend? I'm trying to see my nieces and nephew. These guys.

Eldar [00:43:30]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:43:31]:
Okay. Before I go to Nebraska. Because I'm trying to give them a little time.

Eldar [00:43:37]:
Yeah, of course.

Harris [00:43:38]:
Before Christmas.

Eldar [00:43:39]:
Absolutely.

Harris [00:43:40]:
And he said, maybe this weekend. I said, great. He goes, I'll let you know. And this was Monday night that he's like, I'll give you a call back, let you know what Jaleesa says. Great. So I texted him Tuesday, the day after. Cause I didn't hear anything from him.

Mike [00:43:54]:
Well, he said, give me some time. And you text him the next day?

Harris [00:43:57]:
No, he said, I'll call you. I'll let you know tonight after I talk to Jaleesa. Okay.

Eldar [00:44:01]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:44:02]:
So then I text him today, just now. Cause he didn't say nothing. He didn't see the text. He was terrible communication. I should have went through his wife, which everyone tells me to do. But hey, I don't want to seem like the brother that goes through the wife. I want to give my brother a shot.

Eldar [00:44:15]:
Okay. Wow.

Harris [00:44:17]:
And so Friday, today I go, are we on for tomorrow or do you want to do it some other time? His response, shit, my bad. I'll get back to you in an hour. I'm sorry.

Eldar [00:44:31]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:44:31]:
Fuck, man. If you have a phone, use the fucking phone. You don't need a phone then. Dude, if you're not gonna text anybody back.

Eldar [00:44:42]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:44:45]:
Sorry. This just frustrates me.

Eldar [00:44:46]:
It's okay. It's okay. You let it out though, right?

Harris [00:44:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:44:49]:
You feel better?

Harris [00:44:49]:
A little bit.

Eldar [00:44:50]:
Okay.

Mike [00:44:51]:
I think you're frustrated because you.

Eldar [00:44:53]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:44:53]:
You're not carrying yourself properly.

Harris [00:44:55]:
I don't know. He.

Mike [00:44:56]:
Because you're not loving yourself.

Harris [00:44:58]:
I don't think it's loving myself. I think I'm just frustrated that he's not very good with communication.

Toliy [00:45:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:45:04]:
Why are you frustrated with him or with yourself?

Harris [00:45:07]:
Why would I be frustrated with myself?

Eldar [00:45:08]:
Well, because you're getting frustrated, right? Yeah, but like.

Harris [00:45:11]:
Yeah, my head. I just gave myself a fucking headache.

Eldar [00:45:15]:
There you go.

Eldar [00:45:16]:
Right.

Eldar [00:45:17]:
Because what. Because you decided to react a certain type of way to his style of communication.

Harris [00:45:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:45:22]:
Even though you said, hey, my brother doesn't communicate really? Well, you already know this about this about the situation, but you still decide to react a very specific way to that which you already know.

Harris [00:45:32]:
Which everyone tells me to contact.

Eldar [00:45:33]:
Exactly. You even said that.

Harris [00:45:35]:
So my brother David told me to contact his wife.

Eldar [00:45:38]:
So who's doing this? You are.

Harris [00:45:40]:
Him to myself.

Eldar [00:45:40]:
Okay.

Harris [00:45:41]:
I just, you know, because I think.

Eldar [00:45:42]:
That'S what Mike was trying to.

Mike [00:45:43]:
I'm trying to say that you are frustrated, but with yourself, because the way you're carrying yourself is you're actually not showing yourself love.

Eldar [00:45:51]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:45:51]:
By going in situation that you already know what's going to happen. Predictable.

Eldar [00:45:54]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:45:55]:
And I just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Eldar [00:45:57]:
And Harris. And Harris, I want to remind you before we started this topic, if you remember what we talked about, Toli was actually highlighting the fact that you have a problem with communicating, especially with the people around you, especially your family members.

Harris [00:46:11]:
I'm communicating.

Eldar [00:46:12]:
And guess what? You just brought up an example where you get frustrated because of the communication styles that are happening.

Harris [00:46:19]:
Oh, he's just always been terrible like me.

Eldar [00:46:22]:
Do you see how the topic of communication and property communicating is actually tied to self love and the greater thing about love.

Harris [00:46:29]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:46:30]:
You didn't communicate to Kiki that you were.

Eldar [00:46:33]:
You didn't communicate to Kiki that you. You had a grandiose plan about working harder, working more in order to provide a better life for each other, in order to maybe move in together and build a life together. You didn't communicate that 10,000 an hour.

Mike [00:46:46]:
You're not gonna be able to feed Garth at all. No chance.

Eldar [00:46:48]:
Oh, no. You know what I'm saying?

Harris [00:46:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:46:52]:
So all these things, Right. That we're talking about leads to again, what? You're not putting love as the priority.

Eldar [00:47:00]:
Right.

Eldar [00:47:00]:
And therefore you're going to be suffering the consequences, not feeling good, not having Fun. But love, I think right. Is a general thing, right. Which is like water, like anything else that we need as humans, right. I think we do need love. Sometimes you need to release that form of love as well, John. I know, I know.

Harris [00:47:26]:
A lot of times you go in there now. How many times you going over to that place now?

John [00:47:31]:
What, the Kona Big Way?

Harris [00:47:33]:
No, that secret party and did he with the Asians.

John [00:47:41]:
I'm waiting for you to go.

Harris [00:47:42]:
How many times are you going over there, man?

John [00:47:44]:
I haven't got a long time. I'm waiting for you. You say you wanted to go, so I'm waiting for you. All right, so tonight after New York and we get pizza.

Harris [00:47:53]:
I don't have the money for that.

Eldar [00:47:55]:
All right, so the love thing, like I said, that's a general. Generally love, I think requires a whole bunch of things, Communication being one of them. Proper communication.

Harris [00:48:04]:
I think I need to go love myself. So I think in the bathroom right now, a 10 hour trip to Bermuda and then back.

Eldar [00:48:12]:
Okay.

Mike [00:48:13]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:48:13]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:48:14]:
You are leaving right now.

Harris [00:48:16]:
Are we going?

Mike [00:48:17]:
Well, you said you need to love yourself.

Eldar [00:48:19]:
We're good.

Mike [00:48:20]:
We're not complaining.

Eldar [00:48:20]:
We're not complaining.

Harris [00:48:21]:
You're the one that said you fly.

Mike [00:48:22]:
Around here, you know, I'm asking you a question. Flying out now.

Eldar [00:48:25]:
Yeah. So love, I think it requires a lot of things to go right. In order for it to be manifested in your life.

Eldar [00:48:33]:
Right.

Eldar [00:48:33]:
So then you can have that fun that you talked about.

Eldar [00:48:36]:
Right.

Eldar [00:48:37]:
Both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom. You know what I mean? Some of the prerequisites or some of the requirements that love has is proper communication.

Harris [00:48:47]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:48:48]:
This is huge. Another requirement you said earlier said is self love to make sure you feel yourself before you can give back. Okay. This is very important. I think love have a lot of these types of things that are tied to probably virtues, all virtues in life, like honesty.

Harris [00:49:06]:
Let me ask you a question. What's the first step to self love?

Eldar [00:49:10]:
Oh, it's a very good question. We had a lot of discussions on this.

Harris [00:49:16]:
Because I know I had to get my health in order. I know I need my rest.

Eldar [00:49:19]:
I know I need, I think one big one big first step, I think for everyone, right? For everyone, this is a big one, I think is to realize or recognize your pain, that you are in pain. Okay. Somewhere you are in pain.

Harris [00:49:38]:
And when you realize what that is.

Eldar [00:49:40]:
For, everyone is different maybe.

Eldar [00:49:41]:
Right.

Harris [00:49:41]:
But I think mine is my, my health.

Eldar [00:49:45]:
Fine.

Eldar [00:49:45]:
It could be your health, a major one.

Harris [00:49:47]:
Another one is communication.

Eldar [00:49:50]:
Sure. When you start recognizing Right. Like, for example, today totally recognized that you had very poor communication with your dad over text. Right?

Harris [00:49:58]:
I didn't want to talk about it.

Eldar [00:50:00]:
Yes, you did not want to talk about it. You had. You felt very uncomfortable. You could clearly see that there's pain behind this thing. Total is notorious when it comes to spotting these things and knowing when people don't know their shit in that specific subject. This is why he was calling you out and saying that you have very poor communication style with the people around you and that is why you feel pain. So that's what I'm saying, that the first thing that everybody should do and could do is to recognize that there are in pain and be honest with one another, with themselves especially, that they are in pain. When they start doing that, what happens is you start raising awareness on what the fuck is going on.

Eldar [00:50:41]:
And then when you raise enough awareness, sooner or later your mind's like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I want to change this. I had enough of this communication style. I had enough of this. I had enough of this job. I had enough of this boss. I had enough of everything. Right. Because you raised enough awareness that you like, I'm in pain and I don't like it.

Eldar [00:51:01]:
I don't like this feeling. Yes, the pain can come in many different ways. It could be a mental health issue, you, that you develop. It can be a physical pain, but nonetheless there's going to be pain, anxiety, whatever it is.

Mike [00:51:11]:
Yeah, right.

Eldar [00:51:12]:
The way it shows itself. And when it does, you can start raising awareness to yourself that you don't like something about yourself. And that is when you can have a little bit more honest conversation. And hopefully you have friends around you that can also maybe nudge you. Like totally nudges him. Is to say like, hey, what's wrong with you, man? Why are you communicating like this?

Toliy [00:51:30]:
Well, well, it's also, it's like a very clear and easy identifier. Is that like there's someone complaining about something over and over again. That's a very easy way of identifying pain.

Eldar [00:51:42]:
Yeah.

Toliy [00:51:43]:
And like seeing a pain.

Eldar [00:51:44]:
Yeah.

Toliy [00:51:44]:
And if the person wasn't complaining about it, they wouldn't be complaining, then they wouldn't be in pain.

Eldar [00:51:50]:
So totally took it to another level.

Eldar [00:51:52]:
Right.

Eldar [00:51:52]:
So he's saying like, look, elder, sure, the pain is true, but how do we identify this pain?

Eldar [00:51:57]:
Right.

Eldar [00:51:57]:
We can see it by you complaining Again, your style of communication by complaining like, oh, my dad this, oh my dad that, or. Or my brother. I heard this, my brother.

Harris [00:52:07]:
Yeah. But I don't Even know how to change the communication because first of all, my dad's gonna hate it. That's number one.

Eldar [00:52:14]:
Well, before you start jumping into conclusions, right. I think that you've been committing a crime against yourself and the people around you for a very long time. Before you start jumping in these types of conclusions where you think that your dad's gonna hate it and all this other stuff, you need to understand what the truth of the matter is. You need to realize what the reality of things are.

Harris [00:52:31]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [00:52:32]:
I actually. I actually think that you are mistaken completely that if you change the communication style with your dad, your dad will be in much better health and he's going to be much happier and he's going to just overall be in a better place because of you changing the communication style with him. However, you an pessimistic, negative Nate right now, which is okay.

Harris [00:52:55]:
Oh, thanks for pointing it out that I'm fucking Nate again. Thanks.

Eldar [00:52:58]:
Oh, yeah, that's what he was. He walked around with a dark cloud over his head all the time that everything's bad.

Harris [00:53:03]:
Would you like to point out that my hairstyles like Nate right now?

Toliy [00:53:06]:
No, I like it.

Harris [00:53:07]:
That's great. They grew on him. Yeah, it's like Nate.

Toliy [00:53:10]:
No, you. I told you. You mugged the horse and you chopped off its tail.

Harris [00:53:14]:
Oh, thanks. This is great news, man.

Eldar [00:53:17]:
John, did you know that. That he mugged the horse and he took the tail.

John [00:53:20]:
That explains everything.

Harris [00:53:21]:
Now, do you realize the word mugged is kind of like what your brother used to say?

John [00:53:26]:
What the fuck you talking about?

Harris [00:53:28]:
Instead of fuck? Muck.

Eldar [00:53:29]:
Oh, that was a.

John [00:53:32]:
Stop changing the subject.

Eldar [00:53:33]:
Yeah. So what were we saying? We're saying that.

Harris [00:53:36]:
Look, muck. Paris, can you tie my shoes?

Eldar [00:53:40]:
You're complaining and we hear it. Especially because you right now sitting closer to totally, totally hears all this stuff. He understands this.

Harris [00:53:48]:
Yeah, he's trying to be weird, man.

Eldar [00:53:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:53:49]:
So before you make conclusions that by changing your communication style won't work on your dad, I'd be careful.

Harris [00:53:56]:
I don't know how to change it.

Mike [00:53:57]:
But I have a question, Mr. Harris. Your assumption about changing your communication style. Your dad's not gonna like it, right? No. Now that we've, you know, we've had a conversation for a little while, what is more important for you to have self love or to make your dad happy? Even though it might not be in my best interest? Well, it might not be the right thing to do or.

Eldar [00:54:17]:
Or not be in his interest like you said.

Eldar [00:54:18]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [00:54:19]:
Would you rather take it deep from your Dad, I actually.

Eldar [00:54:21]:
No, no, no, no, no. I actually think that. I think that interest right now is to please continue to please his dad, quote, unquote, please his dad the way he knows.

Harris [00:54:30]:
I guess there's a fear in there, right?

Eldar [00:54:31]:
Oh, hold on one second.

Harris [00:54:34]:
Oh, boy. I think we got a fear over here. What the.

John [00:54:39]:
Was that?

Harris [00:54:40]:
Is that me? No, I'm not sure that was me. It was that five year old.

Eldar [00:54:45]:
Then you have good memory. What'd you call him out on?

Harris [00:54:48]:
He had a fear of what he insisted he had. No, he wasn't fearful or anything. Yeah, and I. Bro, I got.

Eldar [00:54:57]:
I got 100 nano if you say it to the point.

Harris [00:54:59]:
I don't remember what I called him out, okay?

Toliy [00:55:01]:
There's no way I would say that. I'm not fearful of anything.

Eldar [00:55:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:55:05]:
Paris, you up again? You actually called me out. You said this to me.

Harris [00:55:09]:
Oh, yes.

Toliy [00:55:10]:
What were you calling me out on?

Harris [00:55:12]:
You. What were you calling me out on?

Toliy [00:55:15]:
What were you calling me out on? Exactly.

Eldar [00:55:17]:
Exactly.

Toliy [00:55:17]:
Absolutely.

Eldar [00:55:18]:
I got 100 nano if you tell me what you called me out on when you said that.

Toliy [00:55:21]:
Come on.

Harris [00:55:21]:
I don't remember. I gotta go back in the podcast.

Eldar [00:55:25]:
Okay, me too. Yeah, no, I actually remember.

Harris [00:55:27]:
What is it?

Eldar [00:55:29]:
When you guys were like, yo, you got. Last week. You guys, like, you guys, you're gonna miss UFC night, man. And I'm like, yeah, maybe I can sneak like, my. You like.

Harris [00:55:37]:
Oh, that's right. Because, yo, you're like, you don't want to do it because Cat was gonna go off on you. Oh, yeah. We got a fear over here.

Eldar [00:55:45]:
We do. So the talk. Talk. Talk to me about your fear now with your dad.

Harris [00:55:50]:
I feel like with my dad, right, I'm on the brink of ice when I do certain things, right? My dad's the type of guy that if he feels you did something to him, like, wrong or he doesn't like change, he will tell you that. Like, I don't want to hear, like.

Eldar [00:56:09]:
Well, how about this? How about this? Before you. Before you conclude whatever you want to conclude.

Harris [00:56:13]:
I'm not including anything.

Eldar [00:56:14]:
No, no, no, no, no. But, but, but you said, you know how people don't like change and stuff like that. What if change was good? Because that's another whole nother subject. The reason why people don't like change is because. What? A lot of the time. Because of the fear. Because the fear of what? That the change might be bad?

Harris [00:56:31]:
Scary. So the. The thing I was pointing out was him and my sister stopped talking fucking completely for fucking two years.

Eldar [00:56:40]:
Okay?

Harris [00:56:41]:
Because she did something, called him out, I guess. And he's like, I'm not fucking having this.

Eldar [00:56:49]:
Is he the idiot that spells sugar with a T?

Harris [00:56:52]:
That's you.

Eldar [00:56:52]:
Okay, fine.

Harris [00:56:54]:
John, did you know sugar was spelled T, S, U, a G?

John [00:56:58]:
You know, I spelled your dad package.

Harris [00:57:00]:
You got it? I got it. Oh, good.

Eldar [00:57:02]:
I think he's a good friend, huh?

Harris [00:57:04]:
Yeah. You're welcome.

Eldar [00:57:05]:
I think he deserves a gift.

Harris [00:57:06]:
What'd you say?

Toliy [00:57:07]:
Wait, you took his dad's package?

John [00:57:08]:
He told me to. I think Eldar is right. That is a dildo.

Harris [00:57:14]:
No, the way it's shaped, it's actually. Should I bring it out? It's actually a samurai sword.

John [00:57:20]:
Is that what it is?

Toliy [00:57:21]:
Wait, so you were holding his dad's package?

John [00:57:24]:
I went inside.

Eldar [00:57:25]:
Oh.

John [00:57:26]:
And then I took it.

Toliy [00:57:27]:
With your hands?

Harris [00:57:28]:
Yeah.

Toliy [00:57:29]:
And you grabbed it?

Harris [00:57:30]:
I did.

Eldar [00:57:30]:
Oh, my good.

Harris [00:57:31]:
But back to I forgot to wash my hands. After that, he cut my sister off. And my sister made certain demands. Tried to change my dad a little bit.

Eldar [00:57:39]:
Okay.

Harris [00:57:40]:
My sister tried getting him in order for them to have communication again.

Eldar [00:57:44]:
Okay.

Harris [00:57:45]:
Tried to get ready this family therapy.

Eldar [00:57:47]:
She gave him a pocket pussy.

Harris [00:57:49]:
No. Tried to get him to go to a family therapy session. My father's like. My dad's like, I'm not fucking having this. Yeah, get the fuck out of here with this fucking therapy shit. Yeah, the fuck out of my face. Oh, he didn't say it like that, but that's basically what he says. Like, I'm not going to therapy.

Harris [00:58:04]:
If you don't want to have a relationship, fine. I'm not doing it.

Eldar [00:58:07]:
Okay?

Harris [00:58:07]:
Like, my dad does not like, change.

Eldar [00:58:09]:
Okay?

Harris [00:58:10]:
Like, my sister was like, listen, I wanna set some boundaries. Oh, screw that. Not happening.

Eldar [00:58:15]:
Yeah.

Harris [00:58:17]:
No.

Eldar [00:58:18]:
Mm. So she. She wanted to set some boundaries and take him to therapy.

Harris [00:58:22]:
Take him to therapy, but also sets boundaries. Like, hey, let's meet up in a public place.

Eldar [00:58:27]:
Oh, my God.

Harris [00:58:28]:
Just for the both of us, so we both feel comfortable. Because they. They haven't had communication. He's like, fuck that shit. He goes, if you don't wanna come over here, you don't want me to go over there. Not gonna have a relationship.

Mike [00:58:38]:
Maybe she had a good idea, but she had a bad approach.

Harris [00:58:42]:
But, you know, like, my dad does not like change. Right.

Eldar [00:58:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:46]:
You know what? I'm gonna take your dad's side here. I'm gonna say that your sister is probably a numb nut.

Mike [00:58:49]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:49]:
And the way she approached it was completely wrong. Guess what?

Mike [00:58:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:54]:
We don't miss, bro.

Mike [00:58:55]:
Yeah. That actually loves change. Especially the ones he doesn't recognize has changed.

Eldar [00:59:01]:
What?

Mike [00:59:02]:
Oh, did you just say.

Harris [00:59:04]:
You're making my head hurt. My.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
Yeah. So easy. Conundrum.

Mike [00:59:10]:
Easy, easy.

Eldar [00:59:10]:
Equation for Harris to be dad with finding love. To actually be in love. Right. With himself first and then obviously, you know, share a lot of people.

Harris [00:59:19]:
You love yourself for a long time, don't you?

Mike [00:59:22]:
30 seconds every night. I heard.

Harris [00:59:26]:
Oh, my God.

Eldar [00:59:27]:
Whoa.

Harris [00:59:27]:
Keep your pants on, motherfucker.

Eldar [00:59:29]:
Yeah, keep your pants on.

Harris [00:59:30]:
Okay. This ain't that type of show, man.

John [00:59:32]:
It's not?

Harris [00:59:32]:
No.

John [00:59:34]:
Where's my present?

Eldar [00:59:36]:
It's coming.

John [00:59:36]:
It's coming?

Eldar [00:59:37]:
Yeah, it's still coming.

Harris [00:59:39]:
But. What?

John [00:59:41]:
Should I get the package out?

Harris [00:59:44]:
No, no, I said he was gonna burn it, man.

Eldar [00:59:46]:
Oh, If I see this thing, I'm burning it.

John [00:59:48]:
Okay, I'll be back.

Eldar [00:59:49]:
All right, Sounds good.

Harris [00:59:50]:
What are you doing, bro?

John [00:59:52]:
Didn't hear what I just said?

Harris [00:59:53]:
No, you ain't doing that.

Eldar [00:59:54]:
Yeah, we're gonna open it.

Harris [00:59:57]:
Yo, leave it there, man. Don't open it. Don't open it. My dad does not like people with this package.

Eldar [01:00:04]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:04]:
Should we put stickers on it at least?

Harris [01:00:06]:
No.

Eldar [01:00:06]:
What?

Harris [01:00:07]:
What we have to do?

Eldar [01:00:09]:
Yeah, whatever.

Harris [01:00:09]:
No.

Eldar [01:00:10]:
All right, well, Paris, did we solve your problem or no? Yeah, we did.

Mike [01:00:15]:
Wait, what?

Harris [01:00:16]:
I need to solve my biggest pain right now.

Eldar [01:00:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:20]:
Learn how to communicate with it.

Eldar [01:00:21]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:00:22]:
So you don't know how to do that?

Eldar [01:00:24]:
Oh. Do you know who does?

Harris [01:00:25]:
You guys.

Eldar [01:00:26]:
Oh, Tony is really good at this.

Harris [01:00:29]:
I'm actually kind of scared, man.

Eldar [01:00:31]:
Uh huh. You see?

Harris [01:00:33]:
I'm actually kind of scared.

Eldar [01:00:35]:
Look at this. Why? Why? Why are you scared?

Harris [01:00:40]:
I don't know. It's gonna change, I guess, our relationship a little bit. It's not more. I mean, sure, there's some parenting still there, unfortunately, micromanaging.

Mike [01:00:51]:
Do you think changing the relationship is gonna. It's gonna bring you to a more fun place or less fun place?

Harris [01:00:57]:
I don't know. I think. Cause some tension, maybe a little bit.

Eldar [01:01:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:01:02]:
Well, yeah, no, I was gonna make it a ritual. Like a thing, you know, like where we finally liberate Harris from his dad. By burning it. By him burning it.

Harris [01:01:14]:
Hey, I hope you have that spare bedroom set up, because I'm back on the street now.

Eldar [01:01:23]:
Something tells me you won't.

Harris [01:01:25]:
The package.

Eldar [01:01:26]:
All right, look. I mean, this is great, huh? We have direction.

Mike [01:01:31]:
We have direction. Yeah.

Harris [01:01:32]:
You don't have enough room, man.

John [01:01:34]:
We share in the same bed, bro.

Harris [01:01:38]:
I've seen your room, man. Share it with your brother, man.

John [01:01:42]:
He's not there anymore.

Eldar [01:01:43]:
Oh. Even Better Sick. You could pretend to be his brother.

Mike [01:01:47]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:01:48]:
What do you mean? I basically am. His mother used to call me her white adopted son.

John [01:01:51]:
We gotta cut our hands.

Harris [01:01:52]:
And then I went everywhere with his family. I was her white adopted son, man.

Eldar [01:01:56]:
My brother.

Harris [01:01:56]:
Yeah.

John [01:01:57]:
He didn't hear what I said.

Harris [01:02:00]:
You want to make a blood pact? You want to mix our blood? I'm kind of nervous, man.

Eldar [01:02:07]:
You're nervous?

Harris [01:02:08]:
This can cause invention.

Eldar [01:02:09]:
Really? Is it necessary? Tension?

Harris [01:02:16]:
I don't know. Is it?

Mike [01:02:17]:
Wait, can you be the president? Scared of your daddy?

Harris [01:02:20]:
Oh, I think you're supposed to.

Eldar [01:02:23]:
We have to Hunter Biden.

Harris [01:02:25]:
Fear a little bit. No, really?

Mike [01:02:27]:
Fear your dad?

Harris [01:02:27]:
Fear your dad a little bit.

Eldar [01:02:28]:
Really?

Harris [01:02:29]:
I was always.

Eldar [01:02:30]:
Is that part of love?

Harris [01:02:31]:
I was always told you have to respect him.

Eldar [01:02:34]:
Well, sure. Respect him is one thing. Fear is two different things.

Harris [01:02:39]:
You supposed to know your place.

Eldar [01:02:43]:
What does that mean?

Harris [01:02:44]:
Know your place? You're supposed to have a little.

Eldar [01:02:47]:
What does this mean? Like. Like, there's, like. It sounds like you're almost like putting somebody above you, like on a pedestal.

Harris [01:02:52]:
Well, they're supposed to be above you.

Toliy [01:02:53]:
Well, why?

Harris [01:02:54]:
Why? When you were raised, your dad was on top.

Eldar [01:02:57]:
Sure.

Toliy [01:02:58]:
Of your mom.

Eldar [01:03:00]:
On top of your mom.

Harris [01:03:02]:
Walk on and on. Your parents. You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:03:06]:
No, I didn't.

Harris [01:03:07]:
Oh, lucky you.

Eldar [01:03:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:03:09]:
Why? Wait, you saw your dad's balls.

Harris [01:03:12]:
Me and John walked in on my mom and my dad banging me and you. Huh? What?

John [01:03:21]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:03:22]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:03:22]:
I'm not saying it again.

Toliy [01:03:24]:
So you and Crispy.

Mike [01:03:25]:
No, no, wait. They said you and John.

John [01:03:28]:
That's what you said.

Eldar [01:03:29]:
Okay, okay, okay.

Harris [01:03:31]:
But I think the way I was raised was he's on top.

Eldar [01:03:36]:
Why? Everybody wants to know why.

Mike [01:03:38]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:03:39]:
Because what he says goes. Supposedly, that's the way it always been.

Eldar [01:03:43]:
Okay?

Harris [01:03:44]:
He lays down the law, you listen. That's it.

Eldar [01:03:46]:
When do you become that? When do you get that authority?

Harris [01:03:49]:
I don't think my dad will ever give me that authority, man. If anything, I would have to take it.

Eldar [01:03:56]:
We want to take it up the ass.

Harris [01:04:01]:
Okay, John, you weren't here for this segment, but. Okay.

Eldar [01:04:04]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:04:05]:
We talked about how eventually the kids become the parents. Understand?

John [01:04:14]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:04:16]:
Do you understand that? Do you understand that?

Eldar [01:04:18]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:04:18]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:04:18]:
Yeah. You do?

John [01:04:19]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:04:20]:
Did you become the parent of your mom yet?

John [01:04:22]:
No.

Harris [01:04:24]:
No, no. Why?

John [01:04:26]:
Are you the parent? Are you the parent?

Harris [01:04:28]:
I'm not. That's what we're talking about right now. Eldar became the parent of his parents when?

Eldar [01:04:35]:
Just the other day.

John [01:04:37]:
Damn.

Harris [01:04:41]:
His mom. We were having a problem with the deck and his parents told him, you need to kiss the feet of the contact. The specter who was building told his deck. And Eldar said, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not doing that. But he put them in their place. He made them understand.

John [01:05:04]:
Okay, is that a true story or is he lying?

Eldar [01:05:08]:
No, this is a true story. But that's not when I became the parent.

Harris [01:05:11]:
No, he's just the parent.

John [01:05:13]:
Example.

Eldar [01:05:14]:
That was just in one of the examples. Yes.

John [01:05:16]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:05:17]:
Or sometimes, right, you get to a point in your life where you. You became an adult, right? Like, you know your now. Like, you know how to navigate life, right? Like, for example, you have a job, right? One way where, you know, you kind of become almost certified about knowing something is getting a job, getting education, maybe getting a wife, getting a house and stuff like that. When you start ticking some of these boxes, right?

Harris [01:05:41]:
Yeah, I haven't ticked any of those boxes, no.

Eldar [01:05:43]:
Sure, sure, sure.

John [01:05:44]:
This is what you don't got a job.

Eldar [01:05:45]:
This is where some. Some. Our parents esteemed some of these boxes is what I'm saying. Right? And when you check those boxes, you kind of like, okay, cool. Like, he knows his now let me kind of like allow him to think for himself. I also think that there's different ways to check those boxes, right? You don't have to have a job, you don't have to have your own house, you don't have to have a wife and all these other things. What you need to have, I think, is closer to what have certain virtues, right? Be a reasonable, logical human being, right. And know what you're talking about, right.

Eldar [01:06:18]:
Actually, no. One way to do that is pay attention, right? Reason, Reason and logic to understand the argument, argue back questions, ask questions. And all these different things allow you to kind of certify yourself in the eyes of who your parents, who always don't take you seriously, right. They're like, oh, he's the little kid that doesn't have his own place or he doesn't have a job and all this other stuff, right. I think that's a. That's a. That's a. It's a bad argument that they have, right.

Eldar [01:06:47]:
I actually think that you. You can become your parent. I mean, your parents parent right before that, right? By showing that you know what you're talking about.

John [01:06:56]:
Sure.

Eldar [01:06:56]:
Maybe you don't have a job yet, no problem. Maybe you don't have a wife yet, no problem. That stuff takes time. And just because they got married at 19 or 20 and had their first kid at 21 or whatever. Or 18.

Eldar [01:07:07]:
Right.

Eldar [01:07:08]:
This doesn't mean that this was the right thing.

Harris [01:07:09]:
Yeah. John's mom was 16 and pregnant.

Eldar [01:07:12]:
Oh, okay. That's not.

John [01:07:13]:
She was 14. Get it right.

Harris [01:07:14]:
Was she?

John [01:07:15]:
No.

Eldar [01:07:15]:
Okay. Even better.

Harris [01:07:17]:
She started young.

Eldar [01:07:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:19]:
There you go. Right. This does not mean that you have to follow the same path or trajectory.

Eldar [01:07:24]:
Right.

Eldar [01:07:24]:
To show your competence. Do you understand or no?

Harris [01:07:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:07:30]:
So Therefore what I'm saying is that maybe, just maybe your dad has it wrong and that perception.

Eldar [01:07:37]:
Right.

Eldar [01:07:38]:
Of his reality and understanding about life is nowhere near close to what you're looking at.

Mike [01:07:44]:
Yeah. Also, it's in. I think it's in also areas. It's not like universally. It just doesn't happen universally that you become their parent.

Eldar [01:07:51]:
No.

Mike [01:07:52]:
You know, and one thing that. That came to mind, why I said that is because the recent conversation you were having with your dad. I'm mostly about the job and his outlook on the job. You're supposed to hate your job. You're not supposed to enjoy like, wait, dad, you're wrong. You actually challenged him. That's you saying, like, hey, on this, I'm actually that on this subject, I'm going to explain to you that you actually can enjoy your job. You should love your job.

Mike [01:08:18]:
You should enjoy what you do and enjoy your life because it's a huge part. You spend a lot of hours on there and that is you slowly introducing your understanding on the subject and your knowledge and your ability to. To use your. Your brain. And like, did you understand this point?

Harris [01:08:39]:
I did. I stood up to my dad.

Eldar [01:08:41]:
This is way of standing up to your dad. This is not when you puff up your feathers, you know what I mean? And start throwing on the floor.

Harris [01:08:47]:
I told them.

Eldar [01:08:50]:
The mothballs. Yes, let's talk about the mothballs. Yeah, this is another one.

Harris [01:08:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:08:56]:
What'd you say?

Harris [01:08:57]:
Balls. I told them, suppose. Did you know we smell like mothballs? I did your thing and John doesn't know what the going on here.

Toliy [01:09:07]:
Okay.

Harris [01:09:08]:
You remember going to your. Oh, yeah. I can't even. I can't even say. Do you remember going to your grandma's house because your grandma lives with you.

John [01:09:16]:
She does.

Harris [01:09:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:17]:
He's a permanent mothball.

Harris [01:09:19]:
Like the old people thing. On your grandma.

John [01:09:23]:
I got my grandma on my. On my dad's side.

Harris [01:09:26]:
Okay. Do you remember going to her house and it smelled like an old person?

Mike [01:09:29]:
Like old people?

John [01:09:29]:
Yeah, I don't remember. That's a long time ago.

Mike [01:09:33]:
Actually, he prefers this.

Harris [01:09:35]:
Did you ever go to an old person's house?

Eldar [01:09:37]:
No. You have to Start any. No. You can't have this conversation without first asking him whether or not he prefers to be a mothball.

Harris [01:09:41]:
Do you prefer to be a mothball? Do you know what that is?

John [01:09:46]:
No.

Harris [01:09:47]:
Okay. Did you ever go to an old person's house and it just smelled different? It smelled weird.

John [01:09:55]:
It's your house, I think.

Eldar [01:09:59]:
Yeah. I think he's right.

Eldar [01:10:00]:
Yeah.

John [01:10:00]:
You see, Exposed.

Harris [01:10:02]:
I guess I live there. I don't even notice it anymore.

Eldar [01:10:04]:
You're not supposed to. That's right. And.

Harris [01:10:07]:
But I. I told my dad, I said, do you realize we smell like waffles?

John [01:10:12]:
He took your dad.

Harris [01:10:16]:
I convinced him to buy. I convinced him to buy.

Eldar [01:10:21]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:10:23]:
Extra scent beads that you put in, like.

Eldar [01:10:25]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:10:26]:
On top of the. On top of the detergent.

Eldar [01:10:28]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:10:29]:
Clothes don't smell like volleyballs anymore.

Eldar [01:10:31]:
Yeah. He smells good. We smelled it today. See, that's one good example where you stood up to your dad. That's correct.

Harris [01:10:38]:
He's like, you like, smell of us.

Eldar [01:10:39]:
This one, Paris, as you start accumulating these arguments, as Mike said, moments, right. Where you're more competent in those areas, like the mothball area, the smell.

Eldar [01:10:49]:
Right.

Harris [01:10:50]:
Egg area. The.

Eldar [01:10:51]:
Which one?

Harris [01:10:52]:
My dad started buying eggs.

Eldar [01:10:54]:
Yes, the egg area. Yes, exactly Right. Slowly, you start teaching him your ways.

Eldar [01:10:59]:
Right.

Eldar [01:11:00]:
And as your daily life starts to improve, you become happier, he becomes happier. Right. There's going to be a shift, there's going to be a tide where you become the mothball.

Harris [01:11:17]:
The king.

Eldar [01:11:18]:
The king. The king mothball. Yeah. You become the king mothball of mothballs.

Harris [01:11:25]:
And your dad let you smell my house one day. You tell me if it smells like wild balls.

Eldar [01:11:30]:
I can't wait.

Mike [01:11:30]:
Can you put it in jar, bring it to work?

Eldar [01:11:32]:
Yes.

Toliy [01:11:33]:
There has to be a clone out there in the market.

Eldar [01:11:35]:
Mothball clothes.

Harris [01:11:36]:
So he doesn't see on the ring cam.

Mike [01:11:37]:
I'll.

Harris [01:11:38]:
I'll take you through the back.

Eldar [01:11:39]:
All right.

Eldar [01:11:40]:
Sounds good.

Harris [01:11:40]:
We'll go there right now.

Eldar [01:11:42]:
No problem.

Eldar [01:11:43]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:11:44]:
So, yeah, this is. This is an example is what we're talking about, right. As you become more competent, you can have more. Better communication. And then therefore, you become the parent of the parent. And I think. And I. I personally think part of life, I think that is part of our purpose is actually supersede our parents.

Harris [01:12:04]:
That everything just like.

Eldar [01:12:06]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:12:06]:
Totally does supersede him in sales.

Eldar [01:12:09]:
Well, yes. Yes, that is the goal, Right. If it's. If for totally to be truly successful, Right. He should be able to raise someone.

Harris [01:12:18]:
And in 25 years, Totally's gonna be. I'm Gonna be working for. Totally.

Eldar [01:12:24]:
Working for you.

Eldar [01:12:25]:
Yes. Yes.

Harris [01:12:25]:
I'm gonna be president. We. We. We discussed it. Okay. You're gonna be the landscaper.

Mike [01:12:35]:
Yes.

Harris [01:12:36]:
At the White House. You're gonna be the landscaper. You can't talk to me. Yeah, okay, you gotta.

Eldar [01:12:40]:
But can he make us, like, a signal with his hands, like some kind of, like. Yo, what's up, man?

Harris [01:12:44]:
Well, I mean, you gotta go through security. Well, no, he's got ice. No, it's not what it's called, man. Chief of staff.

Eldar [01:12:53]:
Chief of staff.

Harris [01:12:53]:
You gotta go through chief of staff. But in being the landscaper, you're protected from being deported.

John [01:12:59]:
Jabba's a. Jabba.

Eldar [01:13:00]:
Yes.

John [01:13:01]:
I accept.

Harris [01:13:01]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:13:02]:
He accepts. You see?

Mike [01:13:03]:
You'll be able to live in the White House soon.

Eldar [01:13:04]:
Yes.

John [01:13:05]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:13:05]:
Is that true? Like the basement area?

Eldar [01:13:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:13:07]:
Lame.

John [01:13:08]:
Okay, wait, I'm listening.

Mike [01:13:09]:
But you'll have, like, a special telephone that only goes into his bedroom.

Eldar [01:13:12]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:13:13]:
You guys can communicate and there might be a tunnel.

John [01:13:14]:
Can we get the cups?

Mike [01:13:15]:
Yes.

Harris [01:13:17]:
I can't communicate with the help.

Eldar [01:13:19]:
Yes, but not in public. Not in public. You guys have to wear masks.

Harris [01:13:23]:
Like, we already made it away for the president. Right. He leaves the Secret Service.

Eldar [01:13:27]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:13:27]:
Or he goes out back with a baseball cap with one guard.

Eldar [01:13:30]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:13:30]:
And you can Monica Lewinsky him anytime.

Eldar [01:13:32]:
Oh, my God.

Harris [01:13:32]:
Oh, my God. Exposed. Catch this. Okay. You know, but catch it. You know, the press can't see it. You know?

Eldar [01:13:41]:
Yes.

John [01:13:42]:
The Monica Lewinsky.

Harris [01:13:43]:
No, you know, us communicating, you know.

John [01:13:48]:
Okay.

Harris [01:13:48]:
Because you look crazy.

John [01:13:50]:
I look crazy.

Harris [01:13:53]:
You look crazy.

Eldar [01:13:55]:
Listen, every time.

Harris [01:13:56]:
Stuff in the drinks, man.

Eldar [01:13:57]:
Every time we talk about love, I think we discover new things.

Harris [01:14:02]:
Inauguration ceremony, man. You're very dangerous. Gonna.

Mike [01:14:07]:
What was the question?

Eldar [01:14:08]:
Hold on.

Eldar [01:14:09]:
I don't finish.

John [01:14:10]:
That was gay.

Eldar [01:14:11]:
He's trying to. Yeah, he's trying. You saw what he was doing.

Harris [01:14:12]:
Yeah, that was gay. Put something in the drink, man. He can't be going to the inauguration ceremony.

Eldar [01:14:16]:
Inauguration. I like it. All right, let's get back to it, Harris.

Harris [01:14:20]:
All right.

Eldar [01:14:22]:
I say every time we talk about love, we kind of discover almost the equation to it. Yeah, it's hard. It's not easy, but it becomes more clear, at least to me.

Harris [01:14:32]:
I love it.

Mike [01:14:34]:
I love a life.

Eldar [01:14:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:14:36]:
And it almost. It becomes almost like if this is true about us as humans, if love is the air that we breathe, right? Like as the law. Right. As the necessity, then obviously we can breathe bad air. Like, there's plenty of people that live in fucking crazy cities like New York City, Shanghai, and they have pollution, all this stuff.

Eldar [01:14:54]:
Right?

Eldar [01:14:55]:
But obviously they're linked to then, you know, cancers and sicknesses and all that stuff, you know, or eating bad food and all this other stuff, right? Yes, but optimally, right, if we put good stuff into our bodies, we live longer and we're happier and all this other stuff, Right? So certain things, our makeup at least, right. Can be identified as, like, these are some requirements. These are almost like the laws that make us thrive versus just survive. Right? And love being one of the big ones.

Harris [01:15:23]:
Jesus once said, okay. I don't know.

Eldar [01:15:27]:
He said he doesn't know.

Harris [01:15:28]:
Okay.

John [01:15:28]:
And he died.

Harris [01:15:29]:
Water into wine.

Eldar [01:15:30]:
Yeah, he had fun.

Eldar [01:15:33]:
He had fun.

Harris [01:15:34]:
Well, I don't know if that was fun. He got. Okay.

Eldar [01:15:37]:
I think he was chilling.

Harris [01:15:39]:
He was chilling on the cross.

Eldar [01:15:40]:
Yeah, I think he was chilling. I think he solved the. The thing on pain by that. By that time, you know what I'm saying?

Harris [01:15:45]:
But he did experience love, right? You follow me? Yeah, I'll take care of you.

Eldar [01:15:50]:
There you go.

Harris [01:15:51]:
Yeah, he had his loyal followers, I think the story goes, man. He had orgies with all those people, man.

Eldar [01:15:59]:
Oh, my God. I think you got it mixed up with the other guy, man. Did he love.

Harris [01:16:04]:
No, man. What? But his mother definitely experienced horror. Mother Mary. There was. There was supposedly.

Eldar [01:16:14]:
Wait, that wasn't his mom. That was his, like, apparent mistress.

Harris [01:16:18]:
Mary was his mother? No, no, that's how it went.

Mike [01:16:21]:
The Virgin Mary?

Harris [01:16:21]:
No, Virgin Mary was the mother, yes.

Eldar [01:16:23]:
Oh, it wasn't Virgin Mary, but she.

Harris [01:16:25]:
Wasn'T, I guess, really a virgin.

Eldar [01:16:27]:
No, but who was the other lady that they met? Yeah. Oh, that one. Okay.

Harris [01:16:31]:
Virgin Mary. Virgin Mary was supposedly.

Mike [01:16:35]:
Or maybe it's the same. What? Is Mary Magdalene the same?

Harris [01:16:38]:
Yeah, that's what I heard.

Eldar [01:16:40]:
That's what I heard.

Harris [01:16:41]:
Virgin Mary was a prostitute.

Mike [01:16:42]:
Yeah, I heard that.

Harris [01:16:43]:
So she experienced a lot of love.

Eldar [01:16:45]:
A lot of love.

Harris [01:16:48]:
Every night.

Eldar [01:16:48]:
Yes.

Harris [01:16:50]:
So the question is. There's a question. Is God really as well?

John [01:16:57]:
We'll find out in next episode.

Eldar [01:16:59]:
Yay.

Toliy [01:16:59]:
I think the meds are all right.

Eldar [01:17:02]:
Tell me your final thoughts about love then. We've discussed a lot.

Toliy [01:17:06]:
Love's dead, man.

Harris [01:17:07]:
Love is not. Definitely not dead.

Mike [01:17:10]:
Oh, wow.

Harris [01:17:11]:
You need to love yourself. And some of us need to work on loving ourself before we can continue in the love aspect.

Eldar [01:17:21]:
Wow.

Mike [01:17:22]:
Why are you looking at crispy when you say that?

Harris [01:17:23]:
I'm not.

Eldar [01:17:24]:
Why are you looking at a very specific region? What do you.

Harris [01:17:27]:
Wait.

John [01:17:28]:
Follow the eyes.

Harris [01:17:29]:
I'm talking now, you sick son of a. Yeah.

Eldar [01:17:35]:
All right, finish It.

Mike [01:17:37]:
Not him. Finish it.

Harris [01:17:38]:
Not him.

Eldar [01:17:38]:
Yes.

Toliy [01:17:38]:
You already told me you would do a civil union with crispy.

Harris [01:17:42]:
I definitely would not.

Toliy [01:17:43]:
Yes, you did. You said if it was a 4000.

Harris [01:17:45]:
You said that, man.

Eldar [01:17:46]:
4000 nano.

Harris [01:17:47]:
No.

Mike [01:17:47]:
Oh, Don.

Harris [01:17:48]:
No, I definitely would not. Even though he would love that.

John [01:17:52]:
I'm out of here. I'm gonna return that package back.

Harris [01:17:55]:
What back is that?

John [01:17:57]:
I don't know. Somewhere.

Harris [01:17:59]:
Okay, you don't know what you're talking about. Okay. Okay. So before you can love anything, you need to love yourself. And sometimes you need to work on that, on yourself. And I think that's what we discussed on me doing is working on myself.

Eldar [01:18:14]:
Okay.

Harris [01:18:14]:
Going to the gym, which requires a membership, by the way.

Eldar [01:18:18]:
Street food staff is working on it.

Harris [01:18:20]:
Well, he's not working hard enough.

Eldar [01:18:22]:
That's true.

Harris [01:18:24]:
You need to put them in the fucking place. Just like I'm gonna do the with the ref Monday night.

Eldar [01:18:30]:
Good.

Harris [01:18:30]:
But you need to work on yourself. You need to get your health in order. You need to.

Toliy [01:18:37]:
You basically need to get your shit checked, man.

Harris [01:18:39]:
You need to get that pain in check.

Mike [01:18:41]:
Yes, I think the pain in check.

Eldar [01:18:43]:
Yeah, Yeah.

Mike [01:18:44]:
W. And the question.

Eldar [01:18:45]:
Get your pain in check. That's it.

Mike [01:18:47]:
The question you asked.

Harris [01:18:48]:
It's gonna be very hard.

Mike [01:18:48]:
I think you asked this question. I remember.

Harris [01:18:50]:
But they never said solving the pain is going to be easy.

Eldar [01:18:53]:
Wow. Get your pain in check by Harris.

Mike [01:18:56]:
Wow. You're getting a quote, Harris.

Eldar [01:18:58]:
Wow.

Harris [01:18:59]:
Am I gonna get a shirt, too?

John [01:19:00]:
Checking stuff before I'm out of here.

Harris [01:19:04]:
John, have you seen Eldar's shirt?

John [01:19:06]:
I'm looking at it now.

Harris [01:19:08]:
Can you read it?

John [01:19:09]:
No, I can't. No, I can't read. Can you read it for me, please?

Harris [01:19:13]:
Eldar, thick skin is your hearing aid. Where is it? Thick skin is your hearing aid to the truth. Totally. Who wrote that, John? Who created that quote? Who created that quote?

Eldar [01:19:32]:
This is a trick question.

Harris [01:19:35]:
Who created that quote? You want me to give you a hint?

John [01:19:38]:
Yeah, please.

Harris [01:19:39]:
He's sitting in this room.

Eldar [01:19:40]:
Wow.

John [01:19:40]:
Is it a guy or girl? Give me another hint, please.

Harris [01:19:42]:
Fuck you. He's sitting in this room. His name is on the fucking shirt.

John [01:19:47]:
Can you use it in a sentence?

Eldar [01:19:49]:
Yes.

Harris [01:19:50]:
What is this? I just did? Thick skin is your hearing aid to the truth. Totally.

Eldar [01:19:58]:
Does that make any sense to you, John? It shouldn't, so don't worry.

John [01:20:01]:
Okay, then no.

Eldar [01:20:02]:
Okay, cool. Thanks.

Harris [01:20:03]:
He's sitting right across from you.

John [01:20:05]:
Can I get another hint, please?

Harris [01:20:07]:
I'm done.

John [01:20:08]:
I said please.

Eldar [01:20:09]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:20:09]:
Come on, Anatoly, you did a great Job.

Eldar [01:20:13]:
Thank you.

Harris [01:20:14]:
With him.

Eldar [01:20:15]:
All right. Is that your final thoughts?

Harris [01:20:18]:
Yeah, it is.

Eldar [01:20:18]:
It is. Wow.

Harris [01:20:21]:
It's gonna. You need to solve your pain.

Eldar [01:20:23]:
Solve your pain.

Harris [01:20:27]:
Used to say you need to identify a pain to solve it for the prospects, you know, identify pain and solve that with our product. So I need to, I guess, take time to identify my pain and solve it, which we just identified.

Eldar [01:20:46]:
Yes.

Harris [01:20:48]:
Mike Crispy, you're a pain. No, I'm kidding.

Mike [01:20:52]:
My final thought is maybe more of like a question, but Harris asked like earlier, he said, how do you know which paint where to start? Right. He said something like that. And I guess I was thinking, do you start whichever one hurts the most or whichever one hurts the most, but is also the easiest, like the more low hanging fruit, for example.

Eldar [01:21:24]:
It's a good question.

Harris [01:21:26]:
So you know, the one that hurts the most, I guess we identified, is my dad.

Mike [01:21:31]:
It's not your health, you're saying?

Harris [01:21:35]:
Well, it's, it's up there. But I think I need to get.

Mike [01:21:39]:
My, like, is there an order of events? Right sequence.

Harris [01:21:48]:
Which one is, I guess, more of a pain? My dad or health? I mean, which one is easier to solve? I live with one pain. I come home at one pain every day.

Mike [01:22:02]:
Which one is more simpler to solve? Maybe, or is there a difference between there? Are they all the same to solve?

Harris [01:22:10]:
Well, you're the one that's good at identifying pain. Maybe you can identify which one is.

Toliy [01:22:15]:
Well, I think, I don't think that this pain with your dad actually exists.

Harris [01:22:24]:
You just said it did, bro.

Toliy [01:22:26]:
No, I didn't say it then. I think I, I, I think, yeah, the, the pains with yourself.

Harris [01:22:36]:
That doesn't help me. So do I work on both at the same time?

Toliy [01:22:41]:
I, I, I don't, Yeah, I don't think that that pain is a result.

Mike [01:22:44]:
Of the lack of self love. So it's not really with your dad, it's with you.

Harris [01:22:49]:
We just solved your problem.

Eldar [01:22:50]:
My problem?

Harris [01:22:51]:
Yeah. Well, the question, oh, he asked me.

Toliy [01:22:54]:
What'S a bigger pain, A pain with the pain with his health or the pain with his dad? I told him that there is no pain with your dad. The pain's with himself. You know, first off, so then which.

Eldar [01:23:06]:
One is it was with himself regarding the dad or the pain with the health? Which one?

Toliy [01:23:10]:
Well, like, I guess like the overall health, like everything mental and physical, right?

Eldar [01:23:16]:
Well, yeah. Which one is it you think?

Harris [01:23:18]:
Don't close.

Toliy [01:23:19]:
Well, it's definitely not with the dad. Like they're, no, no, no.

Eldar [01:23:21]:
Remove the dad part. Like you said, we Just redefine pain with the dad now. Peeing with yourself.

Eldar [01:23:27]:
Right.

Eldar [01:23:27]:
And the specific one is the mental pain I'm talking about.

Eldar [01:23:30]:
Right.

Eldar [01:23:30]:
With the dad.

Eldar [01:23:31]:
Right?

Toliy [01:23:31]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:23:31]:
Versus his physical health. Which one is the priority or do.

Harris [01:23:35]:
They go hand in hand?

Toliy [01:23:36]:
I mean they're definitely both like important, like physic. Physical health, you're saying? And like.

Eldar [01:23:41]:
Well, he's asking the question, right? He.

Harris [01:23:43]:
The health of my well being and physical. Well being and mental. I guess.

Toliy [01:23:48]:
Well, I think, yeah, they go hand in hand and they're both like.

Eldar [01:23:52]:
No, I'm not saying that's more important. Like which one's more definitely.

Harris [01:23:55]:
Which one's harder to tackle?

Eldar [01:23:57]:
Which one's harder. Which one do you. Do you concentrate on first?

Mike [01:24:00]:
Yeah, yeah.

Toliy [01:24:00]:
I don't know how you can not concentrate on both. You know, like they're.

Eldar [01:24:05]:
I think you can concentrate on both for sure. Yeah.

Toliy [01:24:08]:
Like they're. They're closely tied together.

Eldar [01:24:11]:
I think that the mental man.

Harris [01:24:13]:
The gym will take me more. Give me more time away from my dad. There it is, man.

Toliy [01:24:19]:
Yeah, yeah. Like this like the, the pain you have is with yourself. And I think that once you figure out like what are all. What, what are all these different pains you have and where did they stem from? I think they're going to all lead to you. And if you start working on yourself then the pains will.

Harris [01:24:39]:
I didn't want to talk about my dad and problems I'm having with my dad.

Eldar [01:24:43]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:24:43]:
But we're here.

Eldar [01:24:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:24:45]:
It always comes out like that, man. You know why you.

Harris [01:24:48]:
You have a tendency to have the ability to just pull out the problems. Sorry John, your seat was taken.

Eldar [01:24:55]:
Oh no, that's. John.

Harris [01:24:59]:
They are the same skin color. Yeah.

Mike [01:25:02]:
And the same jacket.

Eldar [01:25:05]:
Okay.

Mike [01:25:05]:
Yeah. So that's the question. Do you go for lower hanging fruit? The ones that you think are easier to solve. The one like if you have a pain. Right. I think you're just solve one versus the other.

Eldar [01:25:17]:
Right.

Mike [01:25:18]:
Like if the one sounds scarier or more difficult. Regardless if they are or not the truth about them.

Eldar [01:25:23]:
Right.

Mike [01:25:23]:
Do you tackle the one that you feel is more. More close?

Eldar [01:25:27]:
No, I think that. I think that the one that has the most impact and I think the most impact.

Eldar [01:25:31]:
Right.

Eldar [01:25:31]:
I think the sickness.

Eldar [01:25:32]:
Right.

Eldar [01:25:33]:
That he went through with his physical body. Let's just. Is nowhere near in compar comparison.

Harris [01:25:38]:
Are you out of your goddamn mind?

Eldar [01:25:40]:
Listen to me.

Mike [01:25:41]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:25:41]:
Is nowhere near to the mental pain that he's experiencing on a daily day to day life with his dad. Therefore I don't think that Jim is necessarily priority here.

Mike [01:25:51]:
Right.

Eldar [01:25:51]:
You know what I'm saying? Because what. He's fine right now. Is he sick? He's not sick. Right. He can go hang out right now. He can go drink, do whatever. Whatever he wants. You can do with his physical body.

Eldar [01:26:02]:
He's fine. That's the pause that you get. You know what I mean?

Mike [01:26:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:26:06]:
Every single day he comes home, he gets mental pain from his dad.

Mike [01:26:09]:
But the question is. Right, like we talked about this. I don't know if it ties in, but meeting the person where they're at.

Eldar [01:26:14]:
Right?

Eldar [01:26:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:26:15]:
The person's like, yo, I'd much rather focus on the gym because my dad.

Eldar [01:26:18]:
No, no, no, no, no. Or in this case, it was completely wrong.

Mike [01:26:21]:
He's wrong.

Eldar [01:26:25]:
You. You trying to apply the wrong approach to the wrong scenario. Because. Because he might say and come to you. This is what it is.

Mike [01:26:34]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:26:35]:
You as a smart individual who asks questions and inquires of what's actually going on, you realize that the dad situation is way more important than the gym. Most likely, he's escaping into the gym to get away from his dad.

Harris [01:26:47]:
Such a bad idea first.

Eldar [01:26:48]:
And that's what he's talking about.

Harris [01:26:49]:
Is that such a bad idea first? Getting in shape and escape. Using it as your escape.

Eldar [01:26:53]:
Well, totally. Can talk about this phenomenon for a very long time. He tried to hack it this way.

Harris [01:26:58]:
Is that Razzie. Such a bad idea.

Toliy [01:27:01]:
Well, I mean, it's not gonna work. That's the thing, is that it doesn't matter where you think to start the pain. Like, you. Like, you're not gonna be able to ignore what's going on no matter where you wanna start. Like, there.

Eldar [01:27:12]:
There's.

Toliy [01:27:12]:
I don't think you have a choice in the matter as to, like. Like what. What you. What you tackle. Like, you're gonna think that you're making progress on one thing, and then you're gonna have this dark cloud hang. Hanging over you and this ongoing pain that's gonna always route you back to this thing. So, like, no matter which other direction you go, you're gonna always go back to whatever is bothering you the most, regardless of what choice.

Eldar [01:27:34]:
What.

Toliy [01:27:34]:
What. What choices you make.

Harris [01:27:36]:
I'm not gonna lie. A lot of times I do either sit in my car, drive around, or just sit in my car outside the house.

Eldar [01:27:43]:
You see, there's a very. That's actual pain and ongoing pain.

Harris [01:27:47]:
The other night, Mike called me. Right?

Mike [01:27:49]:
Yeah. Me. And you were on the phone and you were jerking in the car. Why are you still sitting in the Car.

Harris [01:27:53]:
Mike. Mike called me. Mike called me. It was last week when you called, hey, where are you at? And I said, over here in Fairlighting. And you said you were passing by. And then we went out to dinner. Because I didn't want to go home.

Mike [01:28:07]:
Yeah, Yeah.

Eldar [01:28:08]:
I think Mike has this. Mike had the situation for a very long time with his dad, and he.

Harris [01:28:13]:
Was talking to me right after. Right after the game.

Eldar [01:28:15]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:28:15]:
I drove home and I said, yeah, I'm back in Fairload.

Mike [01:28:17]:
Yeah, yeah.

Harris [01:28:18]:
And then I was sitting out and talking to Mike for. We were talking about. For a good 45 minutes while I said I was outside the house. I didn't go in.

Eldar [01:28:25]:
Yeah, yeah.

Eldar [01:28:27]:
So it's. This is clear to me.

Eldar [01:28:28]:
Right.

Eldar [01:28:29]:
This is not a matter of even, like, a discussion. That physical is the same or whatever the priority now. I think that the mental pain that he receives.

Eldar [01:28:37]:
Right.

Eldar [01:28:38]:
It's such a big anchor that I don't think that he's going to be able to even work out or even have a good job without doing both.

Harris [01:28:44]:
I use Dunker Hut as an excuse to stay out of the house.

Eldar [01:28:47]:
You see that? What kind of motivator is that?

Mike [01:28:50]:
Yeah, it's crazy.

Harris [01:28:51]:
I went to doctor.

Mike [01:28:52]:
You never shared that. So I. I didn't know that.

Harris [01:28:54]:
I. I'm trying to get healthy, but at the same time, I want to prolong.

Eldar [01:28:57]:
Yeah, you gotta get.

Mike [01:28:58]:
You gotta gain 50 pounds, man. That.

Harris [01:29:00]:
I wanted to prolong it.

Eldar [01:29:01]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:29:02]:
So when we were at Dunkarak, I didn't want to go home. And a lot of times I didn't go home. We went out to eat afterwards. We did different. And I. I don't know. I just try to stay away from the house as much as I can to the point where my dad goes.

Eldar [01:29:15]:
Upstairs and passes out.

Harris [01:29:17]:
Goes upstairs, need a drink, and he.

Eldar [01:29:19]:
Puts a sock on the doorknob knob.

Mike [01:29:23]:
You put the sock in the doorknob?

Eldar [01:29:24]:
Oh, you do it.

Mike [01:29:24]:
You put the sock in there on the chewy.

Harris [01:29:27]:
You probably put the sock on the doorknob, too. So your mama knows not to come in.

John [01:29:30]:
The door's open.

Eldar [01:29:31]:
Hello? Who learned the technique from who?

Harris [01:29:35]:
No, he says he leaves the door open, so when his mom's coming upstairs, she just sees him jack it off.

Eldar [01:29:40]:
Oh, my God.

John [01:29:41]:
I learned it from you. Remember when your mom used to do that?

Harris [01:29:43]:
No, my mama. Dick Dominica did walk in a couple times. Whoa, whoa. Get dressed. What are you doing?

Eldar [01:29:51]:
Yeah. She yelled at you?

Harris [01:29:53]:
No.

Eldar [01:29:54]:
You splashed her or.

Harris [01:29:55]:
No, sorry. You know, Sorry. You need help?

Mike [01:29:59]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:30:00]:
All Right. So totally final thoughts on this topic? I think a very important one. Very good one.

Toliy [01:30:06]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:30:06]:
I feel like I'm still going to the gym.

Eldar [01:30:09]:
We never said you shouldn't.

Harris [01:30:11]:
I'm just dating.

Eldar [01:30:12]:
No, we never said we shouldn't. You have to understand this.

Harris [01:30:15]:
I just thought, you know, good thing.

Eldar [01:30:18]:
No, no. Our job is to tell you from now, our job is to try to try to allude to the fact that you have options and there might be a better route for you. However, you might not see that better route, so you might see only your own.

Harris [01:30:29]:
It's a good idea to just stop going to the gym altogether and solve this problem.

Eldar [01:30:33]:
Stop going to the gym? You don't go to the gym.

Harris [01:30:35]:
Well, I mean, working out.

Toliy [01:30:36]:
You don't work out.

Harris [01:30:37]:
Well, I'm waiting on my pass, man. Yeah, I'm tired of going there. No people recognizing me and saying, oh.

Eldar [01:30:45]:
I think there's a possibility where you can do both at the same time. Where you can go to work out and you can also work on this problem. What's wrong with that? You don't have to drop everything you're doing. I mean, sure, you can focus on one. One thing at a time if you want to, if that's your choice. But you. And in the case of a gym and you're solving your dad's problem, I think they can go hand in hand, potentially, or maybe not. I don't know.

Eldar [01:31:06]:
I don't know your capacity, you know?

Harris [01:31:08]:
Back to the gym. Yo, Mike, what the. Is going on? Are you still communicating with these people?

Mike [01:31:13]:
Yeah. When do you want it done, man?

Eldar [01:31:14]:
That's it.

Mike [01:31:14]:
I had enough.

Harris [01:31:15]:
Yeah, I mean, where's the corporate account? Where. Where's.

Mike [01:31:17]:
When do you want.

Harris [01:31:18]:
When's the waiting list open?

Mike [01:31:19]:
When do you want it done?

Eldar [01:31:20]:
Listen, the plan that we came up for you, it's. It's mandated. You have to go to the gym. That's it. All right, Totally.

Mike [01:31:26]:
When you start work, by the way?

Harris [01:31:28]:
Because unless I have a plan, I do. What do you mean?

Mike [01:31:32]:
Started working already?

Harris [01:31:36]:
Yeah, I just got. I just got my pay stub today, man.

Mike [01:31:40]:
Oh, shit.

Eldar [01:31:42]:
Maybe it was a mistake.

Mike [01:31:46]:
From.

John [01:31:46]:
You're texting your man?

Harris [01:31:48]:
No, from. Okay, Brenda sent it to me, but the guy named Gary, it's. It's. It's. It's very similar to Mike.

Eldar [01:32:00]:
Don't say it.

Harris [01:32:00]:
Don't say it's a good guy. A lot of reviews. Go check him out, man.

Eldar [01:32:04]:
All right, totally. Finish your thing.

Toliy [01:32:06]:
I think, like this. Like. Like. Well, a lot of these topics, like this one, I feel like it's like a permanent cat and mouse game that, like, you play with yourself, you know? And I think it takes time to, like, identify what's. What's actually going on and. And figure out, like, the right moves to do.

Harris [01:32:29]:
You got it down, huh? But you got life down, man.

Toliy [01:32:34]:
But I think that, like, the. The process of getting there, I mean, I don't know, it's weird. It's like an interesting navigation as to how you try to outline what you think you should be doing versus what you need to do. Right. And I think that that's almost like the permanent cat and mouse game that you're playing with yourself.

Mike [01:32:59]:
But I think that cat and mouse game is part of the learning process, like, to.

Harris [01:33:04]:
Who here is going to be the.

Mike [01:33:05]:
GPS to learn that you actually don't know anything? Like, you have to finally.

Toliy [01:33:11]:
Yeah, well, believe that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it. Yeah. It seems like all these problems all stem from, like, from. From a lack of humility, you know?

Harris [01:33:27]:
But it's like, you can get this tattoo, man. Yeah.

Toliy [01:33:35]:
It's an interesting stance because the people in pain always know the most, and.

Eldar [01:33:40]:
That'S, like a. Yeah, well, thank you for saying that. This is a very interesting phenomenon. The people that are most in pain know the most. What he's drawn is a correlation between arrogance and pain. And pain.

Mike [01:33:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:33:55]:
And why you got there. And, you know, and, like, almost like there's a reason why you're there. Right. And this is the reason.

Mike [01:34:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:34:02]:
And you ought to be experiencing this because you're this type of person.

Harris [01:34:06]:
What?

Eldar [01:34:08]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:34:09]:
Yeah, exactly.

Toliy [01:34:10]:
And, like, any scenario that you can outline, like, your mom, the person that, like, is either asking for some help or in, like, a crappy scenario, like, they know all the outcomes. They know exactly how things are gonna go. They know what's gonna work, what's not gonna work. But they're fucking sitting there in mud and shit.

Eldar [01:34:27]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:34:28]:
They're sitting there, really, in a fucking tub of shit.

Harris [01:34:30]:
Back to that Aries. I can't take. It's not that I can't. I want to take Toli's advice on dealing with my dad. I understand I was being arrogant by saying, you don't know my dad, but the problem is, do you have a census? I have. I knew I was arrogant. Well, first, I have a fear.

Eldar [01:34:49]:
Oh.

Harris [01:34:52]:
God, not again. Boy, I think we got a fear over here. Damn, I sounded mad country in that one, man. Jesus. I don't realize sometimes how country I sound.

Eldar [01:35:03]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:35:05]:
I have a fear tolly And I'm afraid to go there, bro.

Toliy [01:35:10]:
Go where?

Harris [01:35:12]:
Down that rabbit hole.

Toliy [01:35:14]:
But where's your fear?

Mike [01:35:14]:
But how do you know what actually lies on that rabbit hole?

Harris [01:35:17]:
That's the fear, man. Is it gonna be the fear of what?

Mike [01:35:20]:
The unknown?

Harris [01:35:21]:
Or is it gonna be a bad.

Toliy [01:35:23]:
Well, what. What is it now? Is it good or bad?

Eldar [01:35:26]:
Manageable. Yeah, it's to his. To his standards. Manageable.

Harris [01:35:30]:
Yeah, but going down that rabbit hole, is it gonna cause a huge argument with my dad? And you say, hey, pack your bags and get the out? Yeah, you gotta understand, all right? I was at that place where I had nowhere to go.

Eldar [01:35:48]:
You think that totally would guide you in the direction of you getting kicked out of your house?

Harris [01:35:53]:
No, but my dad's not like the average guy, okay?

Eldar [01:35:58]:
You think your dad is a little bit more complicated for us to solve?

Harris [01:36:01]:
Yes.

Mike [01:36:01]:
Yeah, but haven't you already experienced some things where you actually are implementing things? And you seeing him change the mothballs, the eggies.

Eldar [01:36:10]:
That doesn't count.

Mike [01:36:11]:
Oh, sorry. Never mind. Take it back.

Eldar [01:36:13]:
Those are not real examples.

Toliy [01:36:14]:
I think that your dad is a simpleton. He's the easiest person to navigate to, figure out.

Harris [01:36:19]:
You haven't even met the guy, man.

Eldar [01:36:20]:
We don't need to. We met him through you.

Harris [01:36:22]:
Yeah, my dad would never come on a podcast.

Eldar [01:36:24]:
Of course not. He's a punk.

Mike [01:36:25]:
He's a paper tiger, man. He's all talk.

Eldar [01:36:29]:
What's he gonna do? You gonna tell me that he has a shinobi life stand just like with his girlfriend?

Mike [01:36:35]:
He's a punk. Where he holds. Yeah, same thing here, man.

Eldar [01:36:41]:
He would become my son automatically. Crazy.

Harris [01:36:45]:
What are you laughing at, man?

Eldar [01:36:46]:
What do you think? He believes it. That's why he's laughing.

Harris [01:36:49]:
His parents are his daughter and his son.

Eldar [01:36:51]:
That's right.

John [01:36:54]:
Your dad doesn't exist.

Mike [01:36:57]:
What?

Eldar [01:36:57]:
His dad doesn't exist.

Harris [01:36:58]:
I think this guy is high right now.

Eldar [01:37:00]:
Yes. So, yeah, totally. Very good point. It's a very good point. Totally said.

Harris [01:37:05]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:37:05]:
Yeah. It's like an. It's just like. It's such a sick phenomenon because we've all been in those kinds of scenarios. You know, we're like. We're in a bad place or like something's going on. Not good.

Eldar [01:37:18]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:37:18]:
We're also under the impression that we know everything on that subject as well, which is like, a sick phenomenon.

Harris [01:37:26]:
I have a shield right now. Okay. Yeah, I have a shield and I'm afraid to open. Take off the shield. You understand?

Eldar [01:37:37]:
Last episode that we spoke about was about fear, and you kept Raising your hand, saying that, hey, I'm trying to live the life to the fullest. I'm trying to break all my fears.

Harris [01:37:45]:
I'm living the life to the fullest. I'm the outside of the house. Of the house, my friend.

Eldar [01:37:51]:
You in the closet.

Harris [01:37:52]:
Yeah, I'm what?

Eldar [01:37:53]:
You in the closet.

Harris [01:37:55]:
I'm living life to the fullest on the. Out on the outside of the house.

Toliy [01:38:00]:
You live in a dark closet, and you have honey on your knees, and you can't move, and you have cement.

Harris [01:38:07]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:38:08]:
And you.

Eldar [01:38:09]:
You're an actor, my friend.

Harris [01:38:10]:
Yeah, I'm not an actor.

Eldar [01:38:12]:
You're an actor.

Harris [01:38:13]:
I enjoy Crazy Bermuda was probably the most fun I had. Not just because it was a good time.

Eldar [01:38:19]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:38:19]:
Because I got away from, of course, all the. That was Going on.

Eldar [01:38:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:23]:
You escaped. Yeah, for the moment. The jail that you're in.

Harris [01:38:28]:
And then I was like, damn, I wish it could be longer.

Eldar [01:38:30]:
Of course you do. Of course you do. You need to. You need more escape.

Mike [01:38:35]:
Unless you change something.

Harris [01:38:36]:
And then on the plane ride home, I was like, yeah, yeah.

Mike [01:38:41]:
He's all about staying behind, leaving homeless in Bermuda.

Harris [01:38:44]:
No.

Mike [01:38:45]:
Okay.

Harris [01:38:45]:
We can arrange banging the landlord's, you know, niece, you know. You know.

Eldar [01:38:50]:
Yes.

Harris [01:38:51]:
Making a life there, you know. You know. You know, support.

Eldar [01:38:57]:
That's right.

Mike [01:38:57]:
Probably can get her pregnant. Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:59]:
Listen, Harris, I think there's a lot of good stuff here for you, man.

Harris [01:39:05]:
Yeah, I know.

Eldar [01:39:06]:
I think it's a lot of good stuff for everyone here, and I think we're pointing in the right direction. I think if we solve this equation of what we're talking about, actually, we have a chance at a good life. The question is, should we do it? The question is, should we strive for it?

Harris [01:39:23]:
Well, that's pretty.

Toliy [01:39:24]:
Well, someone told me that they want to live life to the fullest.

Harris [01:39:27]:
It's pretty obvious. So I guess I didn't realize my dad's issues.

Eldar [01:39:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:39:33]:
How big it is. You see that the first thing to it is start recognizing the pains that you have and how much it weighs.

Toliy [01:39:39]:
On you, but it's not it. But, like, I don't view it as, like, a dad issue. It's just a. Like an overall Harris issue.

Eldar [01:39:47]:
Well, of course.

Harris [01:39:48]:
Don't say my name on here, man.

Mike [01:39:49]:
I think that.

Harris [01:39:50]:
I think that I got warrants, man.

Eldar [01:39:52]:
Yeah. I think that anytime you go through, like, this kind of journey, you've come to realize that most of the power is probably. Is within you. Probably all.

Toliy [01:40:01]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:40:01]:
That at the end of the day, that it's all on you.

Mike [01:40:03]:
But just bouncing off that person is easier to see.

Eldar [01:40:06]:
Yes.

Mike [01:40:07]:
It. Much more bright.

Eldar [01:40:08]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:40:08]:
Highlighted.

Eldar [01:40:09]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:40:09]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:40:10]:
And I actually think that, like, the most crippling and, like, overwhelming part is not even, like, the actual learning process of learning everything. It's the accepting of the amount of time that it takes to undo a lot of these messes.

Eldar [01:40:26]:
Really? You think that's the biggest.

Toliy [01:40:28]:
I think that is the most crippling.

Harris [01:40:30]:
Part about all this. John thinks we should jump my dad.

Eldar [01:40:33]:
Where they just did.

Toliy [01:40:35]:
Yeah. Because when you're actually in. When you're past that and you're. And you're in, like, what do we call that?

Eldar [01:40:46]:
Acceptance.

Toliy [01:40:47]:
No, no. When you're just kind of doing things.

Eldar [01:40:50]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:40:50]:
In that flow state.

Eldar [01:40:51]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:40:52]:
Learning is pretty easy. Like, and like, the progress that you make.

Eldar [01:40:55]:
Oh, wow.

Toliy [01:40:55]:
This happened. This happened.

Harris [01:40:57]:
Right?

Eldar [01:40:57]:
Yeah, yeah.

Toliy [01:40:58]:
And you could see it. But the, to me, at least, the overwhelmingly difficult part and like, the most grueling part is one, the acceptance of what's going on. Right. Like, being humbled by all that. And then. And then the realization of how much time that, like. Like, you make a judgment call as to, like, this is going to take a long time. And you feel that.

Eldar [01:41:26]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:41:27]:
And that. And that squeeze. Wait. Yeah. Yeah. It's very crippling. And it doesn't allow you to, like, learn for a very long time because naturally it sounds more of something that is maybe either, like, not possible or something that you might not even want. Want to do because of the.

Eldar [01:41:45]:
The magnitude of this amount of work.

Toliy [01:41:47]:
So you put in, like, he won't even be able to learn how to do anything until he accepts that. That part of it. But then the coincidence or the paradox.

Harris [01:41:57]:
So you're basically saying, I need to go up here.

Mike [01:42:00]:
The.

Toliy [01:42:00]:
The paradox behind it is that once you're actually in it and you're in that flow state, the changes that you experience and how it happens, like, time doesn't move it, like, any faster than that.

Eldar [01:42:09]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:42:10]:
You know, so.

Eldar [01:42:11]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:42:12]:
You know, it's almost like.

Eldar [01:42:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:17]:
Something like that. Something like that. That's very interesting that you actually threw time into it too, because then what you're saying is that. That one of the reasons why we suffer as much as we do is because we have the wrong perception of time.

Toliy [01:42:30]:
What's the attachment for people to do what?

Eldar [01:42:32]:
Do everything fast.

Toliy [01:42:32]:
Do everything fast. That's an automatic, natural thing that we all have.

Eldar [01:42:36]:
Yes, that's an attachment.

Eldar [01:42:37]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:42:37]:
Like, get it done tomorrow. Not standing traffic, for example. Right. Like, get to the destination fast.

Eldar [01:42:42]:
Yeah. Become Successful.

Toliy [01:42:46]:
So you're saying big aspirations. Now, now, now.

Eldar [01:42:49]:
Right.

Harris [01:42:50]:
So you're saying continue living a. I'm not gonna say miserable.

Eldar [01:42:57]:
Say how you want to say what registered from. From what he said to you and how did you understand it?

Harris [01:43:04]:
It's not quick. Right. It's not a time frame on it, but that continues. I had to.

Eldar [01:43:12]:
He just gave you an out. He just gave people, like, if you actually zoom in and understand what he just said. He explained the antidote to suffering, if you get it and you practice it, the cure to suffering. He explained it.

Harris [01:43:30]:
Right.

Eldar [01:43:31]:
He said, look, the truth of the matter is we have attachments. To what? To get everything done as fast as possible. As much money as possible, as many girls as possible. Fast. Everything fast. You know what I mean? We have this attachment as soon as we let go of the time factor. Attachment. What happens to us is that we then focus on the present or at the present problem, whatever it is, and time is no longer relevant and we're getting shit done.

Eldar [01:43:59]:
We're in that flow state. In that flow state is where we feel the best.

Harris [01:44:03]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:44:04]:
Once you no longer have an attachment to time, what you actually want for everything to be fast is the reality now of the situation.

Eldar [01:44:10]:
Yeah.

Toliy [01:44:11]:
Because there is no time now.

Eldar [01:44:12]:
There is no time now.

Toliy [01:44:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:44:14]:
You understand this.

Toliy [01:44:15]:
So you operate on the actual speed that you actually want to and should be on.

Eldar [01:44:18]:
That's right at that moment, within that moment.

Harris [01:44:21]:
Jesus Christ on a motorbike.

Eldar [01:44:23]:
You called him Jesus Christ, man. I think that Jesus actually understood this point.

Harris [01:44:28]:
I did not call him Jesus Christ. I said Jesus.

Eldar [01:44:30]:
But I think that Jesus understood this point.

Harris [01:44:33]:
It's totally the new Jesus.

Eldar [01:44:35]:
Maybe he's Socrates. That's for sure. We already gave him that title.

Harris [01:44:39]:
What the fuck, man?

Eldar [01:44:40]:
We're just trying to figure out who you are.

Harris [01:44:41]:
I thought that I was Socrates.

Eldar [01:44:43]:
No, when I told you this, when.

Harris [01:44:45]:
I was the president, bro.

Eldar [01:44:46]:
You're the president, dude.

Harris [01:44:47]:
Yeah, I know.

Eldar [01:44:48]:
That's different. You're gonna be philosopher king in the future, right now you're just a dipshit.

Harris [01:44:56]:
So is he supposed to be my Socrates?

Eldar [01:44:59]:
Yeah, you might be Plato, his student.

Harris [01:45:03]:
What?

Eldar [01:45:04]:
Plato was his student.

Harris [01:45:06]:
I thought Plato is the toy.

Eldar [01:45:11]:
Yeah, Plato.

Mike [01:45:12]:
That's different.

Harris [01:45:12]:
They named Plato after this guy.

Eldar [01:45:15]:
I think those individuals that we're talking about, the Jesuses, the Buddhas, the Socrates. Right. I think they understood this point. I think that's one of the reasons why they lived a very specific life where it was less suffering.

Eldar [01:45:26]:
Right.

Eldar [01:45:27]:
And more of understanding and living in the moment. And therefore experiencing as close as possible to God.

Harris [01:45:32]:
Okay, I just want to do something real quick.

Eldar [01:45:34]:
Yeah.

Harris [01:45:35]:
Oh, hell, Socrates. Oh, hell, Socrates. Yeah, I just had to do that.

Eldar [01:45:45]:
No problem. Completely. Completely understandable. Imagine. Imagine there was billions of people. What's his name? Listening to this. They'd be saying the same stuff.

Harris [01:45:54]:
Give us a quote, Mr. Socrates. Mr. Mr. Socrates. Give us a quote, God damn it.

Eldar [01:46:02]:
How about you tell God damn it.

Harris [01:46:03]:
Mr. Socrates, give us a goddamn quote.

Eldar [01:46:06]:
Paris, if you tell me what I have on my shirt that was said by Tole, I give you 100 nano thick skin.

Toliy [01:46:15]:
No way.

Harris [01:46:16]:
It's like hearing aids to a big.

Toliy [01:46:22]:
Back chew that.

Harris [01:46:27]:
To the soul.

Eldar [01:46:28]:
Oh, you were so close.

Harris [01:46:30]:
Thick skin is your hearing aids to the truth.

Eldar [01:46:34]:
All right, so this is important. This is another little hint that totally's thrown at us saying that. Look, one way to try to get to the truth of the matter, right, Is to have thick skin. All right, that's a different topic.

Harris [01:46:47]:
I already have the experience, okay? I built it.

Eldar [01:46:51]:
We've been pushing you, and sometimes we. You. We saw. You see red.

Harris [01:46:55]:
Everyone sees red once in a while.

Eldar [01:46:57]:
Well, that's what I'm saying. So I don't know how thick that skin really is.

Harris [01:47:01]:
Thick skin, man.

Eldar [01:47:02]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:47:03]:
Okay, that's probably the gayest thing you ever said. Yeah, but that's okay.

Harris [01:47:07]:
It's not that type of thick, skinny something.

Eldar [01:47:09]:
All right, fine, fine.

Harris [01:47:10]:
Some bitch.

Eldar [01:47:11]:
All right. You done?

Toliy [01:47:12]:
Totally, I'm done, but I'm not finished.

Eldar [01:47:15]:
Okay, cool. John, I would love to give you your final thoughts, but that would be.

Harris [01:47:19]:
Criminal of me because you don't have any.

Eldar [01:47:21]:
You don't have any? Yeah. Then don't be offended. Yes, officer, My final thoughts. I think I said everything that I wanted to say on this topic.

Harris [01:47:32]:
That's a great question. Did I give it back to you? No, he gave it to the dog. Give it to the dog. Yeah, you did.

Eldar [01:47:39]:
I guess the only one thing I want to add is the fact that like a lot of times when we talk about love, it's almost like it's felt or understood as like, we have to talk about Roman romantic love. Let's just say a partnership love or relationship love. But it is true. Right, but it all starts with first. An individual love.

Eldar [01:47:56]:
Right.

Eldar [01:47:56]:
And it has to be first. Just a very philosophical attempt.

Eldar [01:47:59]:
Right.

Eldar [01:48:00]:
Reason and logic through really understanding yourself before you get any kind of romantic love and stuff like that. When bouncing that off to another person.

Mike [01:48:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:48:08]:
So it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy how that.

Mike [01:48:11]:
Well, the same principles apply.

Eldar [01:48:12]:
Yeah, no, I think to the next level. They do apply. They definitely do apply. It's just a lot of times when we talk about love, right? Everybody just wants to talk about relationships and stuff and all this other stuff, but we start reducing it it and realizing that it's not relationship at all yet. The relationship, the most important one, is with yourself. And that's not a romantic one. At least maybe sometimes when you get horny.

Harris [01:48:34]:
What's wrong with you, man?

Eldar [01:48:36]:
All right, guys, thank you so much. This was great.