151. Taking a stance: From Indecision to Clarity and Confidence

Is taking a stance in life the path to self esteem?

This week's episode delves into the journey of building self-esteem by taking stances and learning from mistakes. The hosts discuss the importance of confronting personal truths, the consequences of indecision, and the impact of avoiding criticism. They explore personal anecdotes, including Mike's struggle with self-esteem and Tom's journey in accepting his past and finding direction. They highlight the significance of asking questions, facing criticism, and the role of humility in personal growth and confidence.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: The Path to Self-Esteem
• 1:32 The Importance of Taking a Stance
• 1:54 Learning from Mistakes and Building Character
• 3:15 The Consequences of Indecisiveness
• 9:43 Public vs. Private Decisions
• 21:08 Criticism and Self-Image
• 31:15 Mike's Realization and Moving Forward
• 38:29 The Art of Taking a Stance
• 52:10 Understanding Human Salvation
• 57:16 Mike's Struggle with Social Anxiety
• 1:08:02 The Importance of Direction
• 1:18:03 Tom's Journey of Self-Discovery
• 1:36:07 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Transcript

[00:00:00] Eldar: On this week's episode, is this the path to self esteem? It starts with taking stances, learning how to be wrong. And at times when you are right, you're able to take something from energy, which builds confidence and self esteem. 

[00:00:13] Toliy: Because if you ask questions for a short period of time, you don't give yourself the opportunity to.

[00:00:18] Toliy: Learn, for example, right, and then you will again put yourself into a new prison that you create and then start complaining. 

[00:00:25] Eldar: You're supposed to understand it. I want you to understand it. I think that he's laying out a very specific [00:00:30] blueprint to human salvation. You know, especially those who are suffering from arrogance, pride and ego.

[00:00:35] Eldar: Of course, I want you to understand that you're supposed to understand it.

[00:00:42] Eldar: It is Friday. It is podcast day. We had some technical difficulties trying to get Mike in here through the phone Next time we'll be more prepared. Mike is not here because he's homesick, but he wants to chime in anyway, so Mike Yes Let's talk about it Yeah, [00:01:00] 

[00:01:01] Mike: let's talk about it. 

[00:01:02] Eldar: Let's talk about it. You be you, you know, this was your week, right?

[00:01:05] Mike: This was a very exciting week for me. 

[00:01:07] Eldar: This was a very good, exciting week for you. Um, we've uncovered a lot, you know, and, um, I think that everybody would be very interested in hearing what is it that you've, uh, what's some epiphanies that came about and why they came about, and what do you think we can help others learn through the lessons that you're going through right now.

[00:01:24] Eldar: So why don't you try to hit us with it? 

[00:01:27] Mike: All right. Well. Um, [00:01:30] there's a lot to start. There's a lot of different kind of directions my mind goes, but I think the most recent one and the biggest one that we spoke about yesterday is, uh, my issue with self esteem, right? And, um, I said to you that, uh, that I was trying to understand why it's happening, you know, and, uh, we were saying that.

[00:01:54] Mike: The reason I can't, I don't have self esteem, um, and I guess [00:02:00] it's tied to making mistakes is because when I make mistakes I never actually learned a lesson, um, and that is what's preventing me to actually stand on my character, uh, stand on the truth, um, and learn from those mistakes and to then to build my character to have something, um, real to like rely on.

[00:02:29] Okay. [00:02:30] 

[00:02:30] Mike: I don't learn from like, uh, previous experiences and problems that I faced. I just kind of like Maybe brush it under the rug, or, uh, ignore it, or it's the same thing. 

[00:02:43] Eldar: Okay, a couple of questions, and I'm going to try to translate a little bit because I know this is like, probably will sound like inside information, right, to some.

[00:02:54] Eldar: It also stems, and is very closely connected, obviously, to your premise of what you've observed about Mike [00:03:00] Tolley. And that is a very specific thing, right? And that thing is, you know how just Mike just said, Hey, like, I don't stand on the truth or whatever. Well, the, what Toli actually thinks is that Mike doesn't stand on anything.

[00:03:11] Eldar: A lot of the times, right? So, what, what you mean by that, right? Or you, what I understand what you're saying is that Mike never likes to take a side or pick a side, right? Pick a point, right? A lot of the times he'll just kind of be in between, this limbo, um, in between and really not [00:03:30] stand on Whatever it is that he's thinking, be it truth or be it something that's false, right?

[00:03:36] Eldar: So, right, I think that's closely tied to what you're saying is that you're not actually then right? Ever learn a lesson, right? because it's almost impossible to learn the lesson if you don't pick a side like totally says because you don't experience the consequences of choosing a side Let's just say in the case of learning a lesson the wrong [00:04:00] side, right?

[00:04:00] Eldar: If you were to stand on on on on a very specific principle that you have and you were wrong Right, but you took a side, right? So if you took a side you actually own it if you don't you don't own it so you almost exonerate yourself from Responsibility, right? So if anything does happen, you kind of like I was here and I was there.

[00:04:22] Eldar: I was never here. I was there, you know, so you can never be pinpointed or feel the [00:04:30] experience of an individual who did take a side. And I think we have a good example from last week with Paris took a side. Right. He was wrong, but he did take a side and you heard it, Tom, it happened in your car. You want to remind me?

[00:04:42] Eldar: Uh, oh, 

[00:04:44] Tommy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He took a 

[00:04:45] Eldar: side, right? He said, oh, that never was discussed and all this other crap, right? Little did he know that actually he was wrong. We did discuss it. I mentioned it on the text, right? And I explained to him that this is what actually the truth is. I stood on my truth, right?

[00:04:59] Eldar: And he stood on [00:05:00] his quote unquote truth. And guess what? Somebody was wrong. One of us was wrong, right? It clearly wasn't me. And I have the evidence and obviously the guys also saw it in the, they heard the conversation, know exactly what we were talking about. Harris didn't, right? For whatever reason, Harris's, you know, um, self esteem, self image, right, uh, didn't, didn't allow him, right, uh, well, It dictated his actions and why he [00:05:30] decided to stand a very specific, um, stance.

[00:05:35] Eldar: Um, and he took that stance and he owned it, right? He's like, I'm taking the stance and that's it. And I'm going to stand on principle. We can't jump over this. But then he realized he was wrong. And he actually, I think, right? Uh, maybe learn something from it, right? And he actually even apologized, right? So he moved on from that moment, right?

[00:05:52] Eldar: By coming out of the car and then having a conversation with me and apologizing. He said, Eldar. Uh, the truth of the matter is I know what happened, right? And [00:06:00] something else is at play here, right? My self esteem is at play here. It's not the facts of the matter. It's my self esteem. And then we started unpacking that and unpacking that, right?

[00:06:08] Eldar: So what happens a lot of the time, he was also 

[00:06:09] Tommy (2): very, um, he was angry. He was very angry. He fought against any, um, any, any kind of, uh, any kind of argument. Uh, yeah. Yeah. For, for, for just accepting the truth. I remember that. That's right. Hey, you know, why, why this or why that? And he was like, no, it's fucking principal or something.

[00:06:29] Tommy (2): Yeah, yeah, [00:06:30] yeah, some 

[00:06:30] Eldar: bullshit. Yeah, so he was wrong. But he actually took a side. In Mike's case, a lot of the times, what Tully says at least, right? Mike doesn't take a side. And Mike, you know, came to this epiphany that the reason, you know, why he's not actually learning anything, right? For one of the reasons is that he never takes a side in the first place.

[00:06:49] Eldar: Go ahead, Mike. Hmm. 

[00:06:51] Mike: Yeah, yeah. I think, uh, the indecisiveness, like I was telling you. 

[00:06:57] Is 

[00:06:57] Mike: that when it comes, when I'm faced with a [00:07:00] decision, right, that I'm not sure which side to take, it becomes very paralyzing and it could be something very simple, like, can I go to the gym or should I go, I don't know, have breakfast, like, uh, or should I not go to the gym, you know, like some days when I have the indecisiveness, it becomes like almost paralyzing.

[00:07:18] Mike: It is pretty frustrating, um, but it's kind of like the way I've been. You know, obviously certain things that I'm more consistent in, I don't have that thing. But, [00:07:30] uh, some days when I'm like, when I'm faced with a decision, like maybe I'm tired and I don't know if I want to go to the gym, I'd be like, damn, should I blow through or should I do what's right here for me actually, you know?

[00:07:42] Mike: Well, in the moment, obviously I don't know what's right for me, but now that I think about it, if I don't, if I'm questing the gym, then I must be tired, I must need rest. But I'm willing to compromise, you know, but that whole like a back and forth trying to figure out What's the right thing to do? It's paralyzing and I'm not able [00:08:00] to actually use logic or any reason because the decision itself It becomes so paralyzing like having to make a decision.

[00:08:06] Mike: It's like a It puts me into a blender completely 

[00:08:10] Tommy (2): Yeah, it's kind of like anticipating. Um, the outcome, you know that that you'll feel kind of Uh, you feel more anxious doing what you think is going to make 

[00:08:23] Mike: a mistake and do the wrong thing, you know but not being able to Own 

[00:08:29] Eldar: it [00:08:30] 

[00:08:30] Mike: Yeah, I mean, not being okay with it, like, okay, like, okay, what if I go to the gym or what if I go do this, like, okay.

[00:08:38] Tommy (2): Yeah, like you said, it's a consistent thing, but you suddenly build anticipation for that thing that you, you think you, you, you 

[00:08:45] Mike: benefit from. Sometimes, I have those days, yeah. Maybe I'm a little bit more grumpy, I'm a little bit less sleep, you know, and I'm like, I want to go to the gym, for example, but sometimes, because it's part of my routine, in the morning, I mean, like, you know, a lot of the time [00:09:00] it happens in the mornings.

[00:09:00] Mike: Yeah. Uh, and I'm like, I want to go, but, uh, I'm like, I should be, I shouldn't be abusing my body because I'm tired. I got not good enough sleep and things like that, you know, I pushed through and so, so like, I can't use logic to say, like. Damn, logically I should rest because I need it, but my mind starts going like, should I go?

[00:09:24] Mike: Should I not go? Maybe I can go later or maybe you know, what? Okay, if I don't go, what should I do? I don't want to go home. [00:09:30] If I stay home, i'm gonna be bored. There's nothing to do Like so a lot of these like, uh crippling things come in and then i'm faced with like, uh You know, just kind of, I don't know, raise the situation internally.

[00:09:43] Eldar: Yeah, I think that's a good example of the internal decision making that you might be going through and what you're experiencing, but totally you more so probably talking about the external one, right? 

[00:09:53] Toliy: Uh, as in what, like, 

[00:09:54] Eldar: as in like Mike just explained, like how he kind of making, uh, decision, his decision making when it comes to [00:10:00] like going to the gym.

[00:10:00] Eldar: Right. But that's internal. Yeah. Like he's not really like, you know No, I'm talking 

[00:10:04] Toliy: about like Yeah. Physical decision making. 

[00:10:07] Eldar: Yeah. External. External ones. Yeah. 

[00:10:11] Mike: No. Yeah. But, but, uh, I, I don't get, I don't understand the difference between the two. Like, 

[00:10:17] Toliy: yeah, neither do I, like, 

[00:10:18] Mike: I 

[00:10:19] Toliy: Well, what the, there's a big difference between the two.

[00:10:24] Yeah, 

[00:10:24] Toliy: I agree. One, one is like a internal out of self where you're like the judge, the [00:10:30] jury, the, the executioner, right. Second one. It, um, it shows your decision to the public eye and the people around you, and it opens a door for judgment, for accountability, for criticism, right, for, I don't know, to get laughed at, to get trolled, to be, to disagree with, yeah, to be disagreed with.

[00:10:53] Toliy: Right. So it like, it becomes reality when you're wrestling with something in term really, [00:11:00] um, you can hide it a lot more and you can like, you know, have whatever conclusions you have and they'll, and they'll just kind of stay within you. But when you take a public stance on something, it's completely different because of that, because now you're put in a, in, in, in like a potentially a vulnerable.

[00:11:18] Toliy: Scenario and that and that I think is like the only time where you like you can make real progress or really Or yeah, 

[00:11:26] Tommy (2): basically like going to the gym with your drooping eyes and taking it like a man [00:11:30] You know actually making it through there and living through it and saying to yourself. Okay Well, there's the consequence my monday is fucked up because I spend sunday drinking all night or something 

[00:11:39] Eldar: That is I wish I can say that that is what he said 

[00:11:42] Tommy (2): Well, yeah.

[00:11:43] Tommy (2): When you take a stance, you know, you, you're going and you're showing, you're showing this person as yourself, you are going out as yourself, presenting yourself mm-hmm. In an environment, just your gym. Another, lemme give you, lemme press the button and people who you know might, might see you looking 

[00:11:58] Eldar: like this.[00:12:00] 

[00:12:00] Eldar: I'm gonna give you two small examples. Lulling, you know. Yeah. Two small examples. And it's you sitting at home right now. Right? And telling yourself, guys, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, not guys, you're telling yourself, I'm going to go to school this semester. Yeah. You just said this to yourself, in the room, with nobody involved.

[00:12:16] Eldar: Yeah. You, you made that decision yourself. The difference is, right, the second option is, you're coming through the door, through our office door, is that a mouse? Uh, you come through the door. And when we're here, me, totally Mike Harris, [00:12:30] whoever, and you say, Hey guys, I decided to, you know, enroll into school again, two very different things totally said the first one, when you in your room by yourself, there is no judge, there's no executioner, there's nobody's going to call you accountable, but yourself, and if you really don't have a good system on how to do that on your own, right, you most likely going to be, you can be a, you know, You can just be talking out of your ass to yourself all day long, right, and you're not gonna hold yourself accountable properly, okay?

[00:12:58] Eldar: However, if you come in [00:13:00] into this room, and there's three people who are listening to what you're saying, right? Right, and taking it in seriously, right? Hey, guys, I'm going to school. Tony's gonna say, why? I'm gonna say, Are you serious? Mike's going to say, no, you're not, you know, now you open yourself up to, like totally said, criticism, judgment, right?

[00:13:21] Eldar: Disagreements, right? It's a completely different experience. Okay. And I think this is important. What's what was 

[00:13:27] Tommy (2): totally his relationship to this specific [00:13:30] external and kind of experience? Why? 

[00:13:31] Eldar: Why is it? No, I think that's the key struggles. No, no, no, no. I think no. Totally has been critical. Critical or has been vocal when it comes to Mike's, uh, how Mike does not actually take stances publicly.

[00:13:45] Eldar: He does. He likes to shy away from it, right? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Mike has explained to you now that I've been doing that because I'm scared, right? Maybe to be judged to be criticized, maybe to get into a confrontation because he's not used to it. So he shies away from [00:14:00] speaking these things out loud, even though he does them.

[00:14:03] Eldar: In a very peculiar way. For example, Mike leads with like a question answer type of statement. Uh, can you give me one totally? Um, can I give you one? Mike, can you give us one? Do you have one? In the barrel. 

[00:14:20] Mike: Uh, not, not from, just send it from the past. I have to think about one. Oh, nothing comes to mind. 

[00:14:24] Eldar: I'm looking at that chart right there.

[00:14:26] Eldar: Oh. And I'm looking at the chart and Tony's looking at the same chart and I'm kind of [00:14:30] going, oh, nano is a dollar 50, isn't it? right is a good one. No, no, 

[00:14:38] Tommy (2): no. I mean, it could be, it could be as simple as saying, oh, I think I'm gonna head up the gym. I might just hit up the gym and I don't know you're 

[00:14:47] Toliy: there, there's like ones where it's like, um,

[00:14:56] Toliy: I'm trying to think that there was a bunch of sports examples. [00:15:00] We had, yeah, there was 

[00:15:02] Eldar: a bunch. I forgot what I'm drawing blank, but yeah, so it's like, it's never, it's, it's speaking in such a way where you almost can be challenged. But you're saying something, but you also can quickly weasel out out of saying, like, no, I didn't say that.

[00:15:17] Eldar: I don't know what I'm talking about, actually. You know, it's like one of those hybrids. 

[00:15:20] Mm hmm. Yeah, 

[00:15:21] Toliy: you're, you're trying to say something without having any, like, uh, consequences to your actions, 

[00:15:28] Eldar: to your actions or your stuff. Or me [00:15:30] and Tony, for example, if you pay attention to how we at least talk about sports or about betting, right?

[00:15:34] Eldar: Uh huh. I take very strong stances, and he takes very strong stances, and we fight. Because of that, right? Yeah, I'll be like, 

[00:15:40] Toliy: yo, that guy is a bum and others like, oh, no, you've got a pussy 

[00:15:44] Eldar: completely. Yeah. So we, we take stances and we fight each other, right? He has his reasons and I have my reasons and our reasons are trying to battle one another.

[00:15:52] Eldar: You know what I mean? We stand on something. When we watch those fights and things transpire, I can draw energy out of the fact that I might have [00:16:00] been right. I said, totally, I told you, and I'm in his face yelling, and he can't say anything, obviously, because he knows his stance, right? And vice versa, like, if I said something out loud, and he says, yo, Bilal is the name, I can't say anything, like, he, like, he beat me, you know what I mean?

[00:16:12] Eldar: Like, he's drawing that energy for himself in that moment, and he's standing on something. Mike, a lot of the times, will say, ah, I kind of don't know, even though he has a stance. 

[00:16:22] Tommy (2): You guys both have these premises and you'll basically see like who's ends up being 

[00:16:27] Mike: [00:16:30] Well, you said to me that you 

[00:16:33] Eldar: a lot of times you do and you kind of like yeah I thought about it and I picked him in my head, but I didn't want to say it out loud 

[00:16:40] Mike: Yeah, sometimes yeah, yeah, but but it's like um The a lot maybe sometimes what happens is that indecisiveness when you guys ask me i'm like i'm not sure But i'm also scared to say it.

[00:16:50] Mike: So it's a combination of both. No, I think it's like obviously in the in the sports world Like it's a little bit Simpler, it's like either A or B who's gonna win, but in [00:17:00] more complicated things, there might be a stance, it'll be hard for me to take a stance. No, but even, no, I 

[00:17:07] Toliy: think, regardless, I think that everyone, that like, everyone has a, uh, internal stance.

[00:17:14] Toliy: Right. Um, I just think it's not being shared, you know, but, but I do think he takes a stamp like, like he, he doesn't turn away towards a situation like, like, it'd be hard for me to believe that there's just like an, I don't know, real, I don't know scenarios [00:17:30] so often, 

[00:17:30] Eldar: especially in the places where he's like exposed to, he's constantly watching, he's constantly talking about it as well, 

[00:17:36] Toliy: some inclination, some feeling like something, there's a lean, there's a, there's a fear of vocalizing it.

[00:17:41] Toliy: Commitment. 

[00:17:42] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. And why? Right. Let's, let's discuss that. Right. Because I think it's important, um, to understand why. Right. Because like I said to, right, I'm, I'm taking a stance and I'm going to draw something out of that stance. Right. If I'm right, if my reasoning [00:18:00] was correct and the fight played out the way it did play out, I gained confidence from the little knowledge that I do have about this particular sport.

[00:18:08] Eldar: Right. But nonetheless, it fills me up for that moment. You know, and I can talk more shit. That's ultimately what it is, right? I can just talk a lot of shit and be like, oh, I remember this. 

[00:18:17] Toliy: Yeah, but I think that like Where Mike doesn't do this. Yeah, but I think like, describing it and talking about it in the sense of this, is different than when you're in the sense of like, life stances and like No, I [00:18:30] think It's a good comparison.

[00:18:31] Toliy: It's a good comparison, I think. 

[00:18:35] Eldar: Um, it's an argument, right? Like at the end of the day, what I'm trying to depict is that I'm not shying away from an argument and you also don't shy away from that argument. And I think we both get something out of this where Mike isn't scared of this confrontation. 

[00:18:48] Toliy: No, no.

[00:18:48] Toliy: Yeah. But I think that when, when you bring it on the scale of like life decisions and like life's dances, I think there's much bigger consequences and there is like, like, [00:19:00] yeah, but if we pick. If we pick sides of like a fight or something like that, I'm not sure like how much long-term, like learning is being done or like how, like, uh, how impactful it is.

[00:19:12] Toliy: Like in like the moment. I would not underestimate this moment. Yeah, may, may. Maybe it, 

[00:19:17] Eldar: it, it just, the ego. Ego is the ego and the ego is present whichever small moment. No. Yeah. But I'm saying that 

[00:19:22] Toliy: like, if, if you're taking a stance about how like things ought to be or how like things work or like. Um, some, something more like [00:19:30] life related in that kind of way.

[00:19:31] Toliy: I think that when you publicize that, right? Mm-hmm . And now everybody knows this is how you feel. Um, I think it, it's like mu much more like impactful. It could 

[00:19:43] Eldar: be. I agree. I agree, it definitely could be, especially if you open yourself up to the criticism and continue the, continue it, right, where you've been challenged, you were proven wrong, and then you come back and redeem yourself, 

[00:19:58] Toliy: right?

[00:19:59] Toliy: Well, that, and [00:20:00] now it becomes like, like more of like a long term thing, right? Because it's like, oh, okay, this is how Mike feels. Yeah. Everybody takes mental note, note of it because it's like a big, like a big decision. Like, I don't know. It's 

[00:20:13] Tommy (2): like saying Mike is also saying I feel fine. And that's his kind of way of isolating.

[00:20:19] Tommy (2): You know, I think of it like that too. When I tell myself, Oh, I'm fine, which I tend to do a lot. You know, um, so like just to give you an example yesterday I showed you a photograph of penny [00:20:30] and I was all excited about it. Mm hmm I saw something and I felt something in that photo, but you were like, this is like the worst photo ever Yeah, and it stuck with me.

[00:20:39] Tommy (2): And so I like I looked at the photos that I took later on We deleted them all no and I I respect to me. I actually tried to understand You know, like where the, where the, the vision I had was like, what, what was, what was creative about it? Did you find it? I find it. I, I put a bunch of photos together and I was like, wow, like I felt the impact.

[00:20:59] Tommy (2): But [00:21:00] when I think about what they were, what they were in their initial state, you know, they're like. You know, they're meh, you know, they're not much. So how does that 

[00:21:07] Toliy: have anything to do with what we're saying? 

[00:21:08] Tommy (2): So, what I'm saying is sometimes you feel this effect where someone is criticizing you. Like, Eldar's like, this is the worst photo.

[00:21:14] Tommy (2): And I'm like, oh my god, what, what, what is wrong with me? Like, I, I, I took this photo in, with in, with it in mind that this is an excellent photo. Like, I saw it. I saw exactly what was happening in that moment. I knew what I was doing [00:21:30] And like penny was on the couch and she was like all cozy with this with this blanket and and then I kind of prematurely show the photo to somebody and Like that's a no brainer.

[00:21:43] Tommy (2): This is fantastic. This photo is amazing, you know Um, and just rejected, totally rejected. He's going to connect them in a second. It's about how I felt. It's about how I felt. What I felt was like, I'm somebody who's been like an amateur taking photos for a long time. And I have a huge [00:22:00] appreciation for like the visual, you know, um, like the visual world and, um, and for framing things and for color and for contrast and for light.

[00:22:09] Tommy (2): This is something I enjoy doing as a hobby. It's a hobby thing to me. And I never really. I never, you know, I never, maybe I haven't put it out, put it out there. I've haven't, I haven't, you know, like you said, taken a stance. I didn't take a stance yesterday. I was just maybe like, what? Um, but, [00:22:30] uh, it, it teaches you something when you say to yourself.

[00:22:34] Tommy (2): You know, just to say, you know, um, yeah, I'm fine with that, you know, I'm fine because who whose opinion is that or, you know, it's like a critic, a critic out there is saying something about you, but how are you dealing with it in response? 

[00:22:48] Eldar: What you did, which is you created a delusion, my friend, a delusion.

[00:22:52] Eldar: Yes. You. Right. Showed me a photo that which you were enthusiastic about like look how good this photo [00:23:00] is, right? That is your opinion on it. I Disagreed. However in that moment you carried an assumption that I would agree Okay, so right I didn't see what you what you saw and a lot of a lot of this kind of shit can be very Subjective Tom, you know what I'm saying?

[00:23:18] Eldar: So what happens is right instead of saying Hey, it's subjective kind of let go of your own attachment, right? You can potentially point the finger of like, Oh, he don't, you don't really see it or whatever, you know, and you might get [00:23:30] upset. And if you get upset, you created a delusion. 

[00:23:33] Tommy (2): Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't say I'm upset, but I would say I would say this that if I wasn't sensitive to this particular kind of it wasn't anything elder said it wasn't anything, you know, like I can't point to anything.

[00:23:48] Tommy (2): All I know is that. Um, what I try to do in situations where I feel, um, uncertain about something, there's nothing really that I can point to relative to this [00:24:00] photo, um, apart from the fact that like I did some edits and I really, really liked them and I think that, that. Someone would've, you know, if I show them to you again, perhaps you would appreciate them after, you know, and then we could talk about, I can't that wait, say how that, to give you the same opinion I give you today, tomorrow.

[00:24:14] Tommy (2): Can I wait, can I show 'em to you right now? Sure, sure. And, and, and just flip, I actually made an album, so it'll be two seconds to Tom tomorrow when you wake up in the morning. 

[00:24:23] Toliy: The first thing that I would, uh, I would choose your next words wisely as . Make sure, make sure that [00:24:30] you realize. But you need to be very grateful that you are in the United States of America.

[00:24:36] Toliy: Hold 

[00:24:36] Tommy (2): on, uh Can you tell me what the fuck just 

[00:24:40] Toliy: happened? 

[00:24:40] Tommy (2): Boom.

[00:24:46] Tommy (2): And flip through them all. Like, that's the whole Penny album.

[00:24:54] Tommy (2): Oh, okay. And I'll just add this. I'll add this. Tom, this is not the pictures you showed me yesterday. Yeah, they [00:25:00] are. They are. 

[00:25:01] Eldar: I'll tell 

[00:25:01] Tommy (2): you just 

[00:25:02] Eldar: zoom in on the fucking head? I 

[00:25:05] Tommy (2): cropped, I edited. 

[00:25:07] Eldar: What do you think? Well, no, I like them now. This is night and day. Yeah, 100%. These are completely different pictures.

[00:25:13] Eldar: And yes, I like these. But I don't know if you remember this, Eldar, but after you said You made them black and white, Tom. And you made headshots instead of fucking a far away body shot. 

[00:25:22] Tommy (2): No, Eldar, that's the lens I was using. It's a long lens. So I use the telescope lens, which flattens the space. And it [00:25:30] tends to like, uh It tends to eliminate that separation between background and foreground.

[00:25:35] Tommy (2): Okay. 

[00:25:35] Toliy: But 

[00:25:35] Tommy (2): anyway, listen, 

[00:25:36] Toliy: I don't understand how it has anything to do with the topic that we're talking about, 

[00:25:40] Tommy (2): but, okay, so let me explain, let me explain when, when I say I feel fine, I try to, I try to take that as a red, a red flag and I try to respond to it and say, pretty much everything that I, um, am experiencing, like what, what has been happening and like what.

[00:25:57] Tommy (2): What's happened in like a sequence of a day or a week [00:26:00] or with something that, uh, with, I don't know, sometimes you're, you're troubled, but you tell yourself you feel fine and it's a kind of cop out. It's a cop out because you don't want to, you don't want to, you don't want to spend the time to think about what you're really feeling.

[00:26:13] Tommy (2): Okay. What he's 

[00:26:15] Eldar: saying is that, I don't know, but what I think what he's saying is, and you might be able to tie it together. If you want or not, what he's saying is that, look, yesterday when I show Eldar my photos and my photos are quick, uh, closely attached to what [00:26:30] my identity as an amateur photographer who's been taking photos for quite some time.

[00:26:34] Eldar: Okay. Okay. So. That individual who's been taking photos and who's showing it to a naked eye like Eldar's, who's not a photographer, who doesn't see the things that they see, obviously, you know, it should be obvious that the amateur photographer, like Tom, who took millions of photos should be able to deliver the message in such a way, would he be able to transfer that same excitement that he received from those photos?

[00:26:54] Eldar: Sure. I'm following. He did not receive this feedback. Okay. Okay. [00:27:00] So what happens is, right, there's a disconnect between what he expected and what he got. Yeah, but how does that have a topic because he's completely, 

[00:27:11] Mike: I agree with, uh, I agree with Tom's thing. 

[00:27:15] Eldar: Yeah. I might be able to explain it. So, so he wasn't okay with it.

[00:27:20] Eldar: Right. So internally first, he said, I'm fine with that. Right, but he couldn't sit with it because he wasn't fine with it because his identity is the photographer So he [00:27:30] went and fucking edited the pictures. 

[00:27:31] Toliy: Okay in order to bridge the gap. Okay, that's still I mean That's something that happened. Sure. But how does that have anything to do with what we're talking about criticism?

[00:27:40] Eldar: Right. He originally, he didn't take a stance. Kind of. Maybe he did. Right. He disagreed internally stance was there to take. He took a stance that he thought that the photos were good. And he's like, fuck you all. They're like, you don't see it kind of thing. Okay. But then what 

[00:27:53] Toliy: do you do with not taking a stance?

[00:27:55] Toliy: Oh, well, that I don't know. Yeah, like it has nothing like I understand the [00:28:00] scenario, but I don't understand how it at all ties with what we're talking to. I think you 

[00:28:03] Tommy (2): define you define what you liked about the work that you did and that is a way of taking a stance So your way of responding to this criticism, which in mike's case, I don't think there is anybody Oh, maybe there's a fear of somebody criticizing him.

[00:28:17] Tommy (2): Like you said you he's afraid to have these confrontations, right aldar 

[00:28:21] Mike: Yeah, I think I think maybe Criticisms are definitely Yeah, in my head. They're connected. 

[00:28:27] Eldar: Yes, correct. [00:28:30] Okay, 

[00:28:31] Tommy: there's a connection. 

[00:28:32] Eldar: So maybe Tom you need to jump over that fact first before you can maybe think about what you're saying.

[00:28:36] Mike: Yeah I think what happens is right Tom came Tom came to elder and he said, you know, like hey Check out this picture that Tom is really excited about he's attached to it. He's proud of it, right? And he came and he shared the news, right? He took a stance on that. This is a good photo in his opinion You know, like hey, this is a good photo and I want to share it with elder My elder came with him met him with the opposite [00:29:00] reaction.

[00:29:00] Mike: He's like yo wait like and for me this probably would be the case I'd be like, oh Elder didn't like it. Like then i'm like then I will be scared to continue sharing stuff with him Which is another fear of like, you know taking a stance like 

[00:29:12] yeah 

[00:29:13] Mike: sharing photos sharing things that go on in my life sharing my belief because then Like if somebody is very strong, like if all that was very strong in his response, right?

[00:29:24] Eldar: Wish I was. 

[00:29:26] Mike: I wish he was. 

[00:29:26] Eldar: I even told, I even told Tara, Tara to look at that message. I know, Tara laughed [00:29:30] at it too. 

[00:29:31] Mike: So he's like, fuck my ego hurts. The person could be completely turned off from wanting to share. Tell you know what Tara said? She said, If he would have said, Oh, you know what, Tom? I don't really like you too much.

[00:29:40] Mike: That person would be like, all right, let me go. Like, you know, they'll take it easier. Like, uh, like it might be a lighter blow, but to a person who's already traumatized of taking a stance or. No, but he, no, but in this example

[00:29:59] Toliy: No, but in [00:30:00] this example, he, he, he, he took a stance by showing the pictures like you, you, you brought it out to the real world. Yeah, he did. He did. So this wasn't a scenario where he took the pictures and he was like, it's a marvel. How do you know? Like, uh, judge them 

[00:30:13] Eldar: and said, yo, these are really good, but I'm never going to show 

[00:30:15] Toliy: them.

[00:30:16] Toliy: Yeah. Like that, then I'm like, then, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't know. I, I, I view this as like a. This is just like a separate issue, but, but not, but nonetheless, 

[00:30:26] Eldar: it's an issue that we needed to tackle a 100%. Okay. Thank you. Yes, [00:30:30] fair enough. You've been blind. Yeah, Mike. All right. So where do we go from here?

[00:30:35] Eldar: Where do we go from here? Yeah. Uh, you realize something very specific for you and very important for you totally has been observing this phenomena for quite some time and he's tried to raise awareness on it, right? Yeah. Um, maybe you didn't pay attention before or didn't hear it, but I think, yeah, maybe now it's finally, Let's just say the chicken came, the chickens came to roost.

[00:30:57] Eldar: Came home to roost. Yeah, they came home to roost. [00:31:00] Yeah. You picture the chickens? No, no. You picture that guy, the Asian guy, right? Yeah, that. Boop, 

[00:31:05] boop, boop, boop. So good. 

[00:31:07] Eldar: Yes. Yeah. Mm hmm. So, there's significance there. 

[00:31:12] Yeah. 

[00:31:13] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:31:15] Eldar: So what are you going to do about it? 

[00:31:18] Mike: Nothing, I'm probably just going to not take a stance again.

[00:31:21] Mike: I like it, 

[00:31:21] Eldar: that's a good comeback. Let's practice. It's 

[00:31:24] Mike: not taking a stance, so I'm taking a stance. Taking a stance or no? 

[00:31:27] Eldar: That's a stance, and I like it. [00:31:30] 

[00:31:30] Mike: No, I mean, uh, I definitely don't want to take that stance. Let's 

[00:31:34] Toliy: practice, Mike. Who's going to win? I do 

[00:31:36] Mike: want to actually take a stance, which is, uh, to, you know, to speak more.

[00:31:44] Mike: Uh, speak properly rather, you know, and speak speak how I feel and um, and uh, Another stance is like, um Is to ask you guys to mention it to me when you see me behaving because it's [00:32:00] obviously automatic behavior. So, uh, Um a stance is to ask you guys to keep bringing it out and bring it to my attention You know, that's what I, that's what initially comes to mind.

[00:32:13] Eldar: Mike, as you're saying these words, and I think that people are agreeing with them, if they're listening and understanding what they're saying, the nano, you're pushing the nano up, man. 

[00:32:21] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. Nano's up like 30 percent since Harris got sick. 

[00:32:26] Eldar: Yeah, that's true. He might be the [00:32:30] mush. All right. Yeah. Yeah, very good.

[00:32:35] Eldar: Totally. What do you think you believe him? Oh, no, no, what what he's looking forward to staking a stance. He wants to be more vocal. He wants to find his voice He wants to stand on something even if it's wrong, right and be able to now take criticism to be able to continue to build thick skin Right? And be wrong sometimes or be right sometimes and be able to then extract the proper energy in order to build what [00:33:00] self esteem is this the path to self esteem?

[00:33:04] Eldar: That's my question. I don't care what you wanted to say before.

[00:33:12] Eldar: Is this the 

[00:33:12] Toliy: path to self esteem? 

[00:33:14] Eldar: Is that how you, yeah. Is that how you build? No, no, no, no. I just think it starts with taking stances and then starts with being learning how to be wrong. Right. Okay. And then, and the times when you are right, you're able to take something from it, energy, which builds [00:33:30] confidence and self esteem.

[00:33:33] Toliy: I mean, I think it's part of it. It's not like, come on, man. Yeah. Come on. Speak up a 

[00:33:38] Eldar: little bit. Yeah. Give the people fucking give the people like a fucking some, some, some concrete fucking lesson. Something to fucking go for. Oh yeah. Mike's over there. I think it's definitely 

[00:33:47] Toliy: like it plays a role in it, but I think when there's other, uh, other variables.

[00:33:52] Toliy: Okay. So give 

[00:33:53] Eldar: me some other variables. Because I made the formula very simple and very to the point right if anybody listened to this right anybody who's [00:34:00] fucking undecided out there, right? Start taking 

[00:34:03] Tommy (2): stars. Oh, no, that's right. Yeah, but then 

[00:34:06] Toliy: you're talking about taking stances being able to be Criticized properly by like the right people then you're talking about like taking that criticism properly and then yeah Internalizing it properly Changing properly.

[00:34:20] Toliy: Yeah, like so I said all the right stuff Uh, yeah, but then they would have to like, uh, but I packaged it in a very simple way. They would have to rent proper friends. 

[00:34:29] Tommy (2): But what is [00:34:30] properly? I mean, how do you have control really? Uh, is there, there's no cookie cutter of this when you know what happens and how it affects you, right?

[00:34:37] Eldar: I think that there's 

[00:34:38] Toliy: reality and there's non reality. And I 

[00:34:41] Eldar: think that if an individual like Mike right now who's setting out to go on this journey of like, look, I'm trying to find my voice. I want to find out who I am, right? And that is going to take me taking some stances, right? And that is me sometimes making the wrong choices making the right choices when it comes to these stances, right?

[00:34:57] Eldar: And i'm okay with that. I think it starts from [00:35:00] that. I think it starts from the fact that look i'm an idiot I don't do this now. I'd like to do it because there's benefit here to me, right? And the truth is the truth is the actual truth is 

[00:35:10] yeah 

[00:35:10] Eldar: The benefit is on both sides if you're wrong learn how to take criticism and be okay with it, right?

[00:35:17] Eldar: That's hard obviously da da da but if you're right learn how to receive the energy that comes with being right Which is hopefully in the humble way, but also in the confident way Right and [00:35:30] use it for for the good or for the better to have fun and enjoy yourself So there's lessons on both sides where you can do it's a win win situation if you approach it That's the asterisk if you approach it with what I said in the beginning With awareness that this is what you set out to do.

[00:35:46] Toliy: Yeah, the the difficulty I think at least Maybe for, for, for Mike and others who, who, who are doing this is that, um, because of the mechanisms that they've built over a long period, like periods of time, [00:36:00] um, the, the, the, the feelings that they get when they are wrong, when they called out, yeah, when they're called out or wrong will create particular scenarios.

[00:36:09] Toliy: And if they're not conscious as to what's happening, um, they're going to subconsciously. Um, go into hiding again, which is okay. Right? 

[00:36:18] Eldar: We talked about this. It's a painful feeling, but nonetheless, it's okay. Right? If you go into hiding, right? For example, you announced some shit to your friends and then you were wrong.

[00:36:26] Eldar: They called you out. They're not bad friends. They were good friends and you ran [00:36:30] away, right? For whatever X amount of period of time because you know, you punked out, right? No, no, no. I think that you 

[00:36:35] Toliy: will know. I'm not talking about that scenario. I think that, um, like if, if you're not conscious about it, 

[00:36:43] Eldar: okay, 

[00:36:43] Toliy: your mind will, okay.

[00:36:44] Toliy: Cool. Stop taking stances on things slowly, right? Because it's like naturally. Yeah, it's like I don't want these scenarios to happen. This is painful So subconsciously it's going to steer you away [00:37:00] from from taking them. 

[00:37:01] Eldar: Yeah 

[00:37:03] Toliy: Because it hurts. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I agree 

[00:37:06] Eldar: with that. I think that's, I think that's self preservation.

[00:37:08] Eldar: That's part of self preservation. Yeah. Which is ego self preservation of, that's why we only see you once every six months, Tom. Oh my god. But that's a different conversation. Oh my god. 

[00:37:16] Tom? 

[00:37:18] Eldar: Oh my god. Yeah? Don't do this now? Oh my god. Tom, we love having you back. Thank you. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's great.

[00:37:25] Eldar: Well, we'll keep to the PC speech on that side of the room. 

[00:37:29] Yeah. [00:37:30] 

[00:37:31] Eldar: Mike? Since you're under the gunner, we can be a little bit more loose with our tongue. Yeah. What are you saying? 

[00:37:39] Mike: I'm no punk bitch. 

[00:37:40] Eldar: Oh, I like it. 

[00:37:42] Mike: Is that taking a stance? I understand what's, what's to come, but I also know, uh, that 

[00:37:50] Eldar: The rewards.

[00:37:52] Mike: I also know that, like, uh, I, uh, this is something that I want to do [00:38:00] so I can live a better life. Uh, so I can live a happier life and, you know, have the things in my life that I want. And I also understood how important this is to my overall happiness and my end goal. Uh, well, one of my end goals, I guess.

[00:38:16] Mike: In my life. 

[00:38:18] Eldar: Is he using all the right words, totally? Is he on to something? 

[00:38:24] Mike: Well, you guys asked me to take a stance. So, if you guys don't like the actions to follow, then you better say something. 

[00:38:29] Eldar: Oh, no, we [00:38:30] will, because Mike, even taking a stance is also an art, I think. Right, Tully? Of course. 

[00:38:35] Mike: I'm as a professional at taking a stance.

[00:38:37] Eldar: The art of the stance, I like that. Yes, there's also a ways to take the right stance. Like today, right? You called, and we started criticizing you about some stuff, and you started, like, barking at us, like, because, like, you You know, bad, tough wolf, all of a sudden, you know, like, 

[00:38:51] Mike: No, because you guys were incorrect about what you were saying.

[00:38:53] Mike: No, no. And 

[00:38:54] Eldar: first off, don't say you guys. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you're 

[00:38:57] Mike: right. Yeah. Sorry. Totally. Uh, totally. Actually [00:39:00] understood what I meant. How that was in law land. 

[00:39:02] Eldar: Listen, I was interpreting the conversation. As conversation was given to me. Yes or no? It was plain and I was giving 

[00:39:09] Toliy: feedback. You, you were taking it literally what he said.

[00:39:13] Toliy: But you also assumed without asking like what about the conversation was good or what are you But that's not my assumption. Why? 

[00:39:19] Eldar: It is. But I'm taking the call. I'm breaking down the call piece by piece. You're 

[00:39:23] Toliy: taking his words very, uh, like, uh, literally. Am I good at that or no? 

[00:39:28] Eldar: Yes. Okay, cool. So who was loose with [00:39:30] the words?

[00:39:30] Eldar: What? Who was loose with the words? Me or him? 

[00:39:32] Toliy: Well, yeah, it could have been prevented. By saying? By not requiring me to be a mind reader and Mike specifying. Mike likes for us to 

[00:39:40] Eldar: be a mind reader. He likes to leave things to interpretation. Yes or no? Yes. Okay, cool. So this is not my fault. 

[00:39:46] Toliy: Well, yeah, we're all like he could have definitely prevented it, but by speaking clearly, yeah, by like, what is good about this 

[00:39:53] Eldar: call?

[00:39:53] Eldar: We're talking about. Yeah. 

[00:39:55] Toliy: Yeah. If he said exactly what was good about the call, then you would not get confused. 

[00:39:59] Eldar: Do [00:40:00] I typically like to get confused in these types of things in order to create this kind of stir? 

[00:40:04] Toliy: Yeah, but for the record, I like the practice of the Mayan reading because it keeps you sharp.

[00:40:10] Toliy: I love it. That was epic, whatever just happened. Yeah, don't worry about it, 

[00:40:15] Eldar: Tom. 

[00:40:16] Toliy: We'll tell you when you're older. 

[00:40:19] Eldar: You aging after all. Good, and I'm embracing it. Yeah, alright, good. No, Mike, good. Again, there, yes. The most important thing is to be aware [00:40:30] of it, obviously, I totally said, if you're not aware of it, then you just, your mind just kind of go into the subconscious, what it's, what it does really well, right?

[00:40:36] Eldar: The ego goes into hiding, the pride goes into hiding, right? Up until it's ready and find, I guess, starts to find the most PC shit, oh, fuck, this is such a, like a ick, you have to find the most PC shit out there, that is, like, Like, uh, protects your ego and pride, but strokes you a little bit [00:41:00] at the same time to calm you down, but maybe points in the right direction.

[00:41:06] Eldar: So Thoughtly, 

[00:41:07] Tommy (2): I have a lot to say today, but I'm not gonna say anything 'cause I have no idea where That's okay. 

[00:41:13] Toliy: One thing I wanted to add. Yeah. And this is something that Mike has really bad at. Mm-hmm . One thing that contributes to all of this is being, um, very poor at explaining things. Right. And lots of times Mike cannot explain things like, well, I feel, I think, yeah, I think it's all about communication.

[00:41:29] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. [00:41:30] Part of like when, when you can explain things really well, and they're, for example, like in re in, in the real world, also true. 

[00:41:39] Yeah. 

[00:41:40] Toliy: Then you're then like, I think you're also more confident to take a stance, but when you can't properly explain things, if you can't explain something, how can you.

[00:41:49] Eldar: Yeah, 

[00:41:49] Toliy: stick a stance, a confident stance. How can you put your ticket in and stamp it? Yeah. You know? Because if you can't properly explain it, then you're like, Well, this sounds kind of good, but I [00:42:00] actually don't even know, right? Then you kind of don't even know because you can't properly explain it because maybe you either don't understand it well, or you didn't pay enough attention to be detailed about it.

[00:42:12] Toliy: Would you 

[00:42:13] Eldar: connect this phenomenon to the fact that Mike actually doesn't like betting? That he doesn't like betting? 

[00:42:20] Toliy: He has a chance to lose. Well, a hundred. Well, yeah, 100%. A hundred percent. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I'm like, that's a good thing. [00:42:30] Who, do you have a Rab or Omar, or do you prefer not to share? No. How about this, do you have Armand or Islam?

[00:42:39] Mike: I got, I got, uh, I got, uh, what's it called? I got Islam, but I'll be, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm over Be surprised by Meno. 

[00:42:47] Eldar: No, kind of. Okay. Okay, cool. What about umar? Uh, 

[00:42:52] Mike: I want uh, umar to win. I like the the Story winning, 

[00:42:58] Toliy: huh? But [00:43:00] who do 

[00:43:00] Mike: you have 

[00:43:01] Toliy: winning?

[00:43:05] Eldar: Omar. That's a good question. You see what he did? Yeah. It's important to, because one thing you, who you want to win, and I think we spoke about this with you, Mike, and another thing is who you think is going to win, right? Because I think those two things are different, right? Because we're fans of UFC and sometimes we're fans of some people.

[00:43:20] Eldar: Yeah. Right. And we choose based on who we like. They want Tony to win. Oh, I want, I want John Jones to get, to, to get owned, right? But the truth of the matter is I know that the people that he's fighting, they're not going to win. Or you want Tony [00:43:30] Ferguson to win. Yes. I want Tony Ferguson to win, but we know what's going on with him.

[00:43:33] Mike: So. 

[00:43:34] Eldar: Yes, exactly. Good question. 

[00:43:38] Mike: Yeah. So uh, who do I want to win? Islam or Umar? 

[00:43:41] Eldar: Okay, and who do you think is going to 

[00:43:44] Mike: win? And, uh, what's it called? 

[00:43:46] Eldar: Going forward Sorry, go ahead. 

[00:43:50] Mike: What else? 

[00:43:51] Eldar: Going forward, uh, Toli wants, uh, your picks and reasons for those picks by end of Friday, uh, by on his desk. 

[00:43:59] Toliy: [00:44:00] Okay. I'll try.

[00:44:01] Toliy: You know what I want? You 

[00:44:02] Tommy (2): have a printer? Yeah. Nice. You have a printer at home? Yeah, and if you're not up for it, you just fill everything out as draw. 

[00:44:09] Eldar: Yeah, as draw, that's fine too. Okay. Everything's a draw. Alright, good. 

[00:44:14] I 

[00:44:15] Eldar: Good. 

[00:44:17] Yeah. 

[00:44:20] Eldar: So Mike, any more insights because of this? Are you excited? What, what, one thing 

[00:44:25] Mike: I am, uh, right now I'm not excited at all because [00:44:30] there's too much going on, but obviously when I discovered this, I was excited because I was in a lot more calm state, you know, when I was able to like understand this, but obviously, yeah, when things get back to like a normal, I definitely would like to be, yeah, I'm definitely excited and I want to continue it.

[00:44:49] Mike: And I mean, I'm going to continue now, but I think, uh, you know, 

[00:44:54] Tommy (2): so there's still a lot going on. There's the seed of Pup Pup in it. 

[00:44:56] Mike: Yeah. But yeah, [00:45:00] I am. I am excited. 

[00:45:01] Toliy: Tom, you have 

[00:45:03] Mike: Was that not taking a stance like the way I said it? 

[00:45:05] Toliy: Yeah. No, no, it was. Yeah. Tom, right now, since Eldar went to the bathroom. Yeah.

[00:45:10] Toliy: You have about five minutes to ramble about anything you want with no consequences. Yeah. You could talk about hats. You could talk about Hats? Really? Lima beans. Yeah. Whatever you want. Yeah. 

[00:45:25] Tommy (2): No, I don't have anything, uh, scripted, ready. I can't, can't really, [00:45:30] you 

[00:45:31] Mike: know.

[00:45:36] Tommy (2): What kind of snacks?

[00:45:48] Mike: Yeah.

[00:45:53] Mike: So I will tell you, was that an answer that I gave you or was that a 

[00:45:56] Toliy: Like, for what exactly? 

[00:45:59] Mike: For the [00:46:00] question that Elder asked me, so I'm excited. 

[00:46:02] Toliy: Um

[00:46:07] Toliy: Was that an answer? Like It 

[00:46:11] Mike: was not a stance, that I took a stance in my answer. 

[00:46:14] Toliy: Um, yeah, I guess so, but you were also like, you know, not like one way or like another, you know? 

[00:46:21] Mike: Yeah, no, I mean, I have one way, but I also had to explain. 

[00:46:25] Toliy: I 

[00:46:25] Mike: mean, I don't know if I have to, but I did explain. I'm not sure. 

[00:46:29] Eldar: Well, if [00:46:30] you feel confident about it and you explained it, I think that that's a definitely a good start, you know?

[00:46:35] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:46:35] Eldar: It's a good start, because that's totally pension, yeah. 

[00:46:37] Mike: I said or no? Or you were already I actually went 

[00:46:39] Eldar: to the bathroom. I heard some of it, but yeah, I went okay. 

[00:46:44] Mike: I said, um, I'm nice. I mean, I was very excited when we discovered this But right now I'm a little bit overwhelmed because of everything that's going on.

[00:46:54] Mm hmm, 

[00:46:54] Mike: you know like being sick You know, being up here [00:47:00] now potentially sick. I mean, uh, Teddy over here, you know, I'm worried about him and I don't know if I'm going to be down for two weeks. So, but when I get back, so, like, you know, regular daily programming, I am excited to, you know, pay attention to this behavior and learn from it and.

[00:47:17] Eldar: Yeah. No, that's a, that's a very good explanation. You more, this is more so not taking a stance by explaining how you're feeling. Right. Um, but yeah, but you answered it. You said, yeah, I am excited overall. So yeah, that is taking [00:47:30] a stance. Okay. Um, I'm going to go to totally now and then go back to you. Okay.

[00:47:36] Eldar: Okay. And then go back to, I'm just joking. So totally is Mike onto something. 

[00:47:43] Toliy: Does he onto something? I guess we'll see. 

[00:47:45] Eldar: You 

[00:47:45] Toliy: know, 

[00:47:46] Eldar: Oh, wow. You're going to use a Chinese proverb for this. 

[00:47:48] Toliy: Yeah, 

[00:47:49] Eldar: we'll see. 

[00:47:50] Toliy: Yeah, because, uh, it's very like this type of like of, um, of, of, of action, for example, um, to me is very [00:48:00] uncharacteristic of who I know my to be.

[00:48:02] Toliy: Wow. That already says that you go, you're right. You're shooting in the right direction, you know? Yeah. It's very uncharacteristic. 

[00:48:09] Yeah. 

[00:48:10] Toliy: So it's like, can I picture it right now? That's hard. Consistently? No. Okay. You know, yeah, but do you wish that for him? Well, yeah, I do wish that for him. You got tired 

[00:48:21] Eldar: of speaking in limbo, right?

[00:48:23] Toliy: Yeah, but it's a very hard, uh, like it's like it will be a very, I think, difficult fundamental change. [00:48:30] I think what needs to happen is a conscious conversion of being, um, I think it'll be easier to draw the energy from being right. Right, but what needs to happen is that there needs to be Multiple scenarios where you put yourself out there.

[00:48:49] Eldar: Yeah, 

[00:48:50] Toliy: you're wrong. You understand that you're wrong then then um You get the explanation of like maybe why you're [00:49:00] wrong and you go on the journey of educating Yourself and then you go into the journey of implementing those right things And you feel the the benefit of it and then you grow To like being wrong and then it's more like it's much more easier natural because you know that you're going to end up in a good place and you're resilient enough to take the beating that'll like 

[00:49:23] Eldar: require for this 

[00:49:25] Toliy: require.

[00:49:25] Toliy: Yeah. Because like you have to be vulnerable [00:49:30] for this to work. You need to get shut down. You need to have all those feelings, but then you need to feel the benefits of. Of being wrong, understanding what was wrong and going through the whole process of, of then like being on the right side versus the wrong side.

[00:49:47] Toliy: Um, and once you can, like, feel that whole scenario play out, I think you'll have a much easier time with being wrong and a much easier time with sharing. How you feel, [00:50:00] okay, and that's 

[00:50:01] Eldar: why I remember Tommy, Tommy, before I asked him this question, I said to you that I'm going to go to you right after I'm going to tie this in.

[00:50:07] Eldar: Was this not an example of what Tommy had that whole experience with the photo with me? He presented it to me. I said, you're wrong. He goes, Oh, shit. Maybe he went through a little turmoil. Then he agreed. I'm wrong. He looked at the pictures that are they subpar. He went, he changed them. For the better came back here, showed them to me and I gave him the feedback that he was looking for.

[00:50:28] Eldar: And now he wins. Is that an [00:50:30] example? 

[00:50:30] Toliy: No, but did he agree that they were like he 

[00:50:32] Eldar: did? No, 

[00:50:33] Toliy: but in the moment he was not. No, no, 

[00:50:35] Eldar: no, no, no, no. It doesn't matter in the moment. Might have he not not agreed. But when he went home, he said he had turmoil. He's like, I was thinking about it and I wanted to revise it.

[00:50:45] Eldar: And he did by revising. He agreed that they were bad. And I'm 

[00:50:50] Tommy (2): also saying that the seed was planted 

[00:50:51] Eldar: from yes from 

[00:50:52] Tommy (2): the moment of 

[00:50:53] Eldar: the I think this is exactly what you just described You said okay now go back to the lab see what you did wrong revise it. [00:51:00] He did that he brought him back I'm looking at like there's a complete different pictures.

[00:51:04] Eldar: I like but 

[00:51:04] Toliy: he didn't come back saying hey, like look elder I realized what you said and I agreed the pictures were actually that's next level man. Yeah. No, but that's part of it I agree. There's a lot that's part of it in order for you to become a good part of is important because you actually Like Like by, by doing that, you make like a men's, the person that you had this marriage with, you acknowledge being wrong again, out in the public.

[00:51:27] Toliy: Right, like, which is a humbling [00:51:30] experience, like, you, you need all that for this to, to work, to click, to work. I agree. Yeah. Listen, but give him some props. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. Yes. But this whole process, be nice. Um, be a little bit PC. Yeah. For, for it to work as intended, it has to go full circle for you to feel all the benefits of it.

[00:51:51] Toliy: Mike, did you understand that? 

[00:51:54] Mike: Uh, what? Totally. He said, 

[00:51:56] Eldar: yeah, 

[00:51:58] Mike: yeah, I understand what he said. 

[00:51:59] Eldar: [00:52:00] Okay. What did I say? Oh, 

[00:52:05] Mike: yeah. Why I wasn't supposed to 

[00:52:07] Eldar: No, no, no. You're supposed to understand it. I, I want you to understand it. I think that he's laying out a very specific blueprint to our salvation, to human salvation.

[00:52:16] Eldar: The, the, you know, especially those who suffering from arrogance, pride and ego. 

[00:52:20] Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . Or some kind of 

[00:52:21] Eldar: self-esteem issue. Right. So I think that of course I want you to understand it. You're supposed to understand it. 

[00:52:27] Mike: Yeah, I understand it. Yeah. And I understand like, [00:52:30] uh, his point. I get it. 

[00:52:31] Eldar: Yeah, do you agree with it?

[00:52:34] Mike: Um, About me? Um, No, I 

[00:52:35] Eldar: don't. I don't think he was talking about you, Mike. I think he was talking in general. Yes, 

[00:52:43] Mike: 100%. In general, I agree. If it's about me, no. I disagree. 

[00:52:50] Eldar: What? About what? What are you disagreeing about? 

[00:52:53] Mike: He's saying that it's very difficult to do. I mean Like, uh, I guess he is not banking on me doing it.

[00:52:59] Mike: That's why 

[00:52:59] Eldar: I [00:53:00] Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. No, he's saying right now it's hard. Right. It's, it's early days. That's why he said, we'll see. You know what I mean? He might be doubting you, right? Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it. Yeah. Gotcha. 

[00:53:11] Mike: I'm gonna, I'm gonna bank on myself 

[00:53:13] Eldar: all. I like it. That's the first stance. 

[00:53:16] Mike: And then we'll see.

[00:53:17] Eldar: We'll see. And then we'll see. Oh, shit. You 

[00:53:21] Mike: know? 

[00:53:22] Eldar: Yeah. Okay. 

[00:53:25] All right. 

[00:53:26] Mike: But Tom, I understand the difficulties other time. I understand it's not gonna be easy. [00:53:30] 

[00:53:30] Yeah. The 

[00:53:30] Mike: first thing is of it coming on the radar. 

[00:53:33] Yeah. You 

[00:53:34] Mike: know, that's the hardest thing to become aware of it. 

[00:53:36] Yeah. 

[00:53:37] Mike: You

[00:53:41] Mike: know? Yeah. So, 

[00:53:42] Eldar: okay, I 

[00:53:43] Mike: understand that. 

[00:53:44] Eldar: Alright, good. Tom? 

[00:53:45] Mike: The general thing. Yeah, I agree. That's, yeah, that's logical. That makes sense. 

[00:53:49] Eldar: Okay. Yeah, because there's like a whole thing that's kind of can, can support you in your efforts if it's done properly, like you said. Yeah. 

[00:53:57] Toliy: Another pitfall I see for, [00:54:00] for, um, well.

[00:54:01] Toliy: This is like, could be for others, but definitely for Mike in particular. Oh, very good. Well, no, but we like particulars here. Yeah. Yeah. Um, at first, taking those especially strong stances will be difficult because I think Mike confuses, um, what happens after you take a strong stance at times for being mean.

[00:54:23] Toliy: Because of that, he naturally goes on like the, like he doesn't want to be like a mean, for example, you know? W [00:54:30] 

[00:54:30] Yeah, yeah. 

[00:54:31] Toliy: Not conversational. He doesn't want 

[00:54:32] Eldar: to 

[00:54:32] Toliy: be mean. Yeah. Mike doesn't want to be viewed as someone who's mean, but it's So sometimes taking the strong stance is just the truth and the reality.

[00:54:40] Toliy: But he will like simp back from it, from like, ah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because it also could be mean at the same time. 

[00:54:46] Eldar: Yes. 

[00:54:46] Toliy: So he could. Backtrack his like point because he'll feel that other people will feel that he's mean. I agree. I've witnessed it many times Yeah, 

[00:54:54] Eldar: well, he retracts his yeah retreat. Oh, that's what we talked about.

[00:54:57] Eldar: He retraces whatever he says Yeah, and then he kind of [00:55:00] poses as a question now, right? He first makes a statement and then quickly like what do you think kind of thing? Like do you think yeah, 

[00:55:05] Toliy: sometimes we're taking the Stances again, it leads to opinions that would be like Mike's an asshole. 

[00:55:12] Yeah. 

[00:55:12] Toliy: All right.

[00:55:13] Yeah, 

[00:55:13] Toliy: but it's not the reality of this Um, situation. Yeah. But it's, but sometimes it could have a hard time. Um, like he could be internalizing or thinking that like, Hey, that person thinks I'm an asshole. So I need to clarify or like, I need to say it a different way or something like that. [00:55:30] Yeah. And, and the back tracking of, of, of it to not be like viewed as like a bad guy.

[00:55:36] Toliy: I think it's also difficult. You 

[00:55:37] Tommy (2): know what I think a lot about elder? Oh, there was a one time we were talking about, um, like, I guess I don't know what it was about, but you, I remember you saying, um, you know, if I feel joy, what the fuck can anybody say to me that will make me feel anxiety? Do you remember what we were talking about?

[00:55:57] Tommy (2): Uh, it's possible. Yeah. But I always think [00:56:00] about that because it is kind of like, 

[00:56:03] Eldar: You know, well, yeah, we were talking about people pleasing that you people pleasing a lot to, you know, I said, when I, when you find your moment or your whatever, who can say anything, you know what I mean? Like that's yours and that's you for you to own.

[00:56:14] Eldar: If you want to invite others, you have to be prepared for what's to come. It can be bad. It can be good. It could be neutral. Okay. You know what I mean? That's part of life. And I think that what we obviously are looking for is finding ways to connect to people in, in ways that we [00:56:30] communicate the truth about.

[00:56:31] Eldar: The world hopefully it is right and then they also feel the same way that makes them feel good. Therefore you start firing the same Endorphins or whatever they feel good. You feel good and you agree and you could pass it on I think that's how we're all connected. I mean we try to

[00:56:52] Eldar: okay, 

[00:56:54] Tommy (2): you know what I'm saying? So Yeah, absolutely. I mean, [00:57:00] I understand people pleasing and, um, I mean, it's, it's, it's pretty wild. 

[00:57:07] Eldar: People pleasing is probably the cheapest, shortest, 

[00:57:13] Tommy (2): fake moment that you can have. 

[00:57:15] Eldar: With another individual. 

[00:57:16] Tommy (2): Here's what's pretty wild sometimes when I think about when you know wrestling about going to the gym, right?

[00:57:22] Tommy (2): um and now this is like it's it's weird because I don't pay for a gym membership right now. [00:57:30] But when I do think about those times when I Want to commit to going to the gym? um and You know, it feels like the time is right You know, it's like you have, I have the energy and I, um, I know what exactly what I'm going to go in there to do and I'm going to like head on to the hop on the treadmill.

[00:57:49] Tommy (2): I'm going to do my routine and all that. Um, but I'm, if I'm wrestling with it, this, um, this anxiety, uh, I start thinking about who might [00:58:00] be there at the same time, who I'm going to, who's going to be around there and like what forces the forces that be. You know, like the, the powers that be will, will be there and how, and, and I already feel this anticipation, like, of, of a feeling discomfort of somebody who, you know, like somebody who I see or, or, you know, my emotional direction, that's, is what I start to worry about, you know, I started thinking about that a lot.

[00:58:29] Tommy (2): [00:58:30] Um, and then I'm like, wait a second, you know, maybe I'm. Maybe I'll be going in there people pleasing, you know, kind of just nice guy. You 

[00:58:39] Eldar: actually see this yourself 

[00:58:43] Tommy (2): Oh, 

[00:58:43] Eldar: you're 

[00:58:44] Tommy (2): just deducing that now. I think so. I just don't want to feel anxieties, uh, social anxieties, you know I feel these social anxieties around, you know, i'm single right now, but i'm not really ready or not open to dating right now Um, and i'm not trying i'm not acting i'm not trying to be [00:59:00] exposed i'm discovering myself And like and I have been for a while.

[00:59:04] Tommy (2): I And I, yeah, I fear exposure, but it's quite, quite unusual. I mean, uh, it's just the idea to me, um, is, and like I said, I'll, I'll, I'll, uh, I'll repeat this. How many delusions did you paint 

[00:59:20] Eldar: over there for, to 

[00:59:21] Tommy (2): people? Like I said, I do not pay for, uh, pay for a gym membership. 

[00:59:24] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:59:24] Tommy (2): So this, this is the point. You know, it's weird.

[00:59:27] Tommy (2): Sometimes I feel like I'm driving my car, right, and I'm [00:59:30] making a statement. 

[00:59:30] Eldar: Is it because you run out of people to put your noodles on? Well, let me just, 

[00:59:35] Tommy (2): let me, hold on, let me cut to the chase here. Alright, fine. Like, these days I'm kind of driving a little bit more like Elder. Like, a little bit more like Mike.

[00:59:42] Tommy (2): Why? Because, you know, like, getting from point A to point B is just like one small stretch of, of, of, it's like a gap between two places that I really need to be. But whereas before. Um, you know, I'm just like this kind of happy go lucky guy, [01:00:00] you know, drifting from place to place trying to like uplift and change the world, like everywhere I go, you know, feeling anxious, feeling like I'm carrying a lot of baggage, you know, um, And trying to avoid obviously trying to survive trying to survive.

[01:00:16] Tommy (2): It's like a survival mechanism. Like you said, you know, but yeah, I do think you know, um, I don't know man. It's one of those things. Like, I, I seriously, uh, I try to [01:00:30] seriously consider the decisions. Um, I may make, um, and to move. To, to think about them, um, consider them as well, as well as I think needs to be, I think they need to be considered.

[01:00:47] Tommy (2): I don't know, in just, in these, in that kind of example, like, what, what could I suggest to Mike? If, if he said to me that he doesn't know if he wants to go to the gym or not. Like, just like I said to you the other day, if I said to you, [01:01:00] Eldar, hey man, like, I'm not sure if I should go to school or not. Um, I mean, I'm proposing it now, and maybe you have some empathy, I'm proposing it, but in the moment, when I'm dealing with this thing, and I have all these wonderful fantasies about what my life could be, or when I have these wonderful fantasies about what happens when I see the hot chick at the gym, and I want to I don't want to go on a date and I don't want to be exposed because right now is not the time for me.

[01:01:29] Tommy (2): But here I [01:01:30] am your pickle still it still gets 

[01:01:31] Eldar: excited. Yeah, you still get a half job once in a while You know what I mean? 

[01:01:35] Tommy (2): This is I mean, this is how I feel sometimes selfish in a way I feel I don't know. I, and I'm not saying this applies to you directly, Mike, but I, I, I think that that's seriously how I feel somewhat selfish, you know, because I'm going for it to be the input to get the output.

[01:01:53] Eldar: I got a, I got a hundred dollars on, on going to a whorehouse.[01:02:00] 

[01:02:01] Eldar: How much you have? For what? For the whorehouse, for Tom to, to visit a whorehouse. I got a hundred dollars. You got a hundred? Alright, two hundred. Mike? Sir, how much? Okay, three hundred though. Okay. Okay. Sounds good. 

[01:02:11] Tommy (2): Ten exit, and then give me the opportunity to take fifty percent, uh, and, and not go. Yeah. Or just go in and just talk.

[01:02:17] Tommy (2): You have three hundred dollars. And be allowed to talk, you know? Do your thing, Tom. Sometimes you just need somebody to sit with and talk to, you know? 

[01:02:22] Mike: Yeah. These things just go to a nice place where they listen to your, your thoughts. Listen, you can just sit 

[01:02:28] Eldar: there in your underwear and it can be wet [01:02:30] or see through.

[01:02:30] Eldar: It doesn't matter. But you don't have to even touch or do anything. You can just speak . Well, 

[01:02:34] Tommy (2): could my, could it be these narratives? 

[01:02:36] Toliy: Hey, excuse me. Can I confuse you for 300? Can I use you for no, confuse You? Confuse you for an for an hour for $300. Yeah. Can you imagine? Yeah. In my underwear sitting there and just say, I'm just going to talk.

[01:02:52] Toliy: You're going to smoke cigarettes and confuse people 

[01:02:54] for an hour. 

[01:02:55] Toliy: Okay.[01:03:00] 

[01:03:01] Eldar: Make you feel a little bit uncomfortable, but, but not did that way. Okay. Hold on. I have something. I have something. I have 

[01:03:08] Toliy: something. 

[01:03:09] Eldar: I have something pretty big here. She's like, I'm on to something. They don't even have to fuck me. Yeah. You fucked their brain. 

[01:03:15] Toliy: What did you do last night? I got confused for an hour for money.

[01:03:18] Toliy: Yeah. Hold up, 

[01:03:19] Tommy (2): hold up. I just realized something profound. I think I, I think I'm on to something here. Yeah. The idea that. [01:03:30] That you are ashamed if you cannot first help yourself. Yeah. Is kind of something that I, I totally get. Because I try to be Well, you embody it, that's what you get. an executioner. No, 

[01:03:44] Toliy: because he has an executioner, that's why he's ashamed.

[01:03:46] Toliy: That's exactly, it's, it's, it's a 

[01:03:48] Tommy (2): shame of, of It's a shame about presenting this thing that, that truly you, uh So, so, so like my issue is that sometimes I come up with, [01:04:00] you know Like the 

[01:04:02] Eldar: gap, the gap or the disparity between the reality and what you made up in your head is so big. That is why it's hard 

[01:04:09] Toliy: because he has a huge, huge ego.

[01:04:12] Eldar: He's very arrogant. That's the disparity, right? The disparity between the reality and the perception of yourself. Yeah. Right. Or what you think you are, what you are capable 

[01:04:21] Tommy (2): of and 

[01:04:23] Eldar: what you present out there into the world. Right. 

[01:04:25] Tommy (2): Right. Right. Right. Right. So, and, and these things, like they're not, they're [01:04:30] not, they don't like these fantasies, they don't exist, you know, they exist 

[01:04:35] Eldar: in your brain, but the truth of the matter is the reality is the reality maybe for a moment to be able to, like you totally said to sit there and confuse someone and try to make you believe into your fantasies is a hard, it's a difficult, it's a hard stretch, right?

[01:04:47] Tommy (2): But also with certain, um, Yeah. I guess they, they come with certain, uh, uh, inceptions, I guess, like they come with certain, you know, like these suggestions that you make, they're totally, they're totally [01:05:00] possible. I could apply it and go to Paris. Yeah, but Ten years ago, hold on, hold on, ten years ago, there was no college, uh, possibility for me.

[01:05:07] Tommy (2): There was no university possibility for me. So like a recent realization of mine is that a lot of my dreams have actually been, they've come true. A lot of the things that I've wanted to happen in my life have been, I've received. But how come you don't lead with that? That's an excellent question. That's an excellent and like I have to like literally shut this off and start somewhere else to talk about it I [01:05:30] think I think We can 

[01:05:32] Eldar: go there if you need to.

[01:05:33] Eldar: These 

[01:05:33] Tommy (2): are fantasies that I live in right? Yeah Which is why are you not good enough? 

[01:05:39] Eldar: Why are you not good enough in the reality and the dreams that you've accomplished already? 

[01:05:44] Tommy (2): Yeah, it's clearly not Um, acknowledging the positives in my life, you know, not, not actually, um, you know, being grateful for what you do have or what you've experienced.

[01:05:57] Tommy (2): Yes, that is also, I [01:06:00] think that's a component of it. Part of it is also, um, you know, these, 

[01:06:09] Eldar: yeah, it's, it's true. Probably the biggest punishment or the biggest, uh, let's not, let's not call it punishment, erase that guys. Um, consequence. Right of not living in accordance to truth and reality is right Not [01:06:30] being able to be grateful.

[01:06:33] Eldar: That's only 

[01:06:34] Toliy: what they look the consequence of not being 

[01:06:38] Eldar: grateful No, no the consequences of not seeing for what they are seeing things for what they are and not Aligning according to reality, right? Because of the fact that your ego is so big, right? The consequence is that you can't be grateful for the smallest things that are actually are very powerful.

[01:06:54] Eldar: No, that's for sure. 

[01:06:56] Toliy: Let's give it 

[01:06:57] Eldar: there. So, yeah. So if [01:07:00] anybody's listening and don't have the ability to be not be grateful for the things that you do have in your life, she. No, no, no. The opposite, 

[01:07:10] Toliy: though, you're saying that. That the lack of being grateful is a consequence of not aligning with reality. So, yeah, if you're, yeah, what, what, what, what you're saying, I think, is that if you're not grateful, you're probably not aligning with reality.

[01:07:28] Toliy: Yes, [01:07:30] correct. 

[01:07:30] Eldar: Yeah, correct. And because having the ability to be grateful, right, if you ever were grateful, felt. Grateful, right? It's a, it's a level of what? It's a level of contentment. It's a level of peace. Right. Yeah, it is a level of confidence, right? Because you know, you standing on like, wait, things are good.

[01:07:52] Eldar: I am good. I feel good. I know why I feel good. I like it. And this is what it is. 

[01:07:57] Yeah. 

[01:07:57] Eldar: So if you can't draw enough [01:08:00] energy for yourself in order to, 

[01:08:02] Toliy: yeah, but it's also, it's very A lot of people in their life, they don't have concrete, uh, direction. And when you don't have concrete direction, there's no chance that you could ever have peace, for example.

[01:08:15] Toliy: Because having, right, having peace, like, you can't have peace if you don't have direction. And if you don't have direction, you're constantly, yeah, that, and then like, you're constantly like, looking for something. Yeah. So how can you be grateful if you've never found it yet? [01:08:30] 

[01:08:30] Tommy (2): So could you put a suggestion to what you just said, you know?

[01:08:34] Tommy (2): If you, so you feel, do you feel you have concrete direction? You're saying a lot of people do, but can you give a suggestion that you have things that you look for if you don't have, like, you know, uh, if you don't. 

[01:08:48] Eldar: That's crazy. 

[01:08:48] Tommy (2): He's asking 

[01:08:49] Eldar: you that question. Why is that crazy? Because he's right now actually setting out to do something very specific that is explaining [01:09:00] or going towards accomplishing that goal for himself.

[01:09:03] Eldar: So not to be able to relate that to yourself, Tom, you're a fucking sinner, bro. You just did a whole 180 on there. I had to bro, because you asking him like for a specific example, whatever, like your example, to be able to like engage or incorporate, to try to like. You know, get involved here the way you want to get involved is that solution of what he's talking about?[01:09:30] 

[01:09:30] Eldar: But you can't see it because of what you experiencing and what what it is So you then that almost tells me that you still operating out of that other nonsense. 

[01:09:39] Tommy (2): I mean I could I could understand What he's looking for, but I'm just kind of like trying to tap him for that understanding, you know, do you have direction?

[01:09:47] Tommy (2): You know, this is something that's come up in my in my life recently. Do I have direction? It's a question that I You're asking 

[01:09:53] Toliy: me if I have direction. 

[01:09:55] Tommy (2): No, i'm asking what are some examples of suggestions for people of [01:10:00] these things? Um 

[01:10:01] Toliy: Of how to find direction or what 

[01:10:03] Tommy (2): happens when you don't, you're saying a lot of people when they don't have direction, they end up looking for things and what sorts of things, I don't know.

[01:10:11] Toliy: So if you don't, if you don't have trouble, thank you, Mike. But you're asking all their, I mean, I mean, Tom is asking advice if you don't have direction and what, what would you do? What would you do? Yeah. Well, um, I [01:10:30] think lots of the, the main reason. Why people don't have direction is that they're very arrogant.

[01:10:36] Tommy (2): Okay. And when you say they go looking for things, you, you mean like going by things or trying to please them? So I'm not 

[01:10:43] Toliy: talking about in, in like the, like the physical sense necessarily. Um, I'm talking about more in like, um, yeah, yeah. Like if you don't have direct, like if you're trying to, like everyone is trying to it by default, [01:11:00] human nature as to what, to try to figure out how to be happy.

[01:11:04] Toliy: Right. Um, most of the people you speak to are probably not overall happy with themselves and like where, like how life is going, they may have too many bills or they made some bad decisions, right? Or like they live a particular way and they can't get out of it. Or maybe they were like Born in particularly bad scenarios, right?

[01:11:26] Toliy: Or like, um, situations. So, like, the [01:11:30] constant that you always hear is complaining, right? You hear complaining very frequently when you speak to people, like, in general, right? Or, like, you look at, you know, the news, you look at social media, whatever it is, right? There's more complaining. So, when there's a ton of complaining, it leads me to believe that there's a lack of, like a, like a lack of understanding of what to do or, like, direction, right?

[01:11:54] Toliy: Um, because if you, um, like if you are more humble, for [01:12:00] example, and like if you have an internal complaint, it should follow with a external question. So people are not asking questions. They're complaining, right? So, like, if you were asking questions, then you would be in a much better place as to how you can find direction, but oftentimes people that don't have direction, they have their own conclusions as to, like, what to do, why things are, why this works this way.

[01:12:27] Toliy: How does this even work to. To begin [01:12:30] with, what should I be doing? How should I go about doing it? Right? All, all those like, internal questions are being answered by who themselves and their understandings of it, right? So then they're, they're like in turn trapped in their own prison that they then like create for themselves, you know?

[01:12:50] Toliy: So, um, if, yeah, if you don't have direction, the best thing that you can do is start. Asking questions and listening [01:13:00] for an extended period of time so that you don't put yourself back in that prison because if you ask questions for a short period of time, you don't give yourself the opportunity to learn, for example, right?

[01:13:11] Toliy: And then you'll again put yourself into a new prison that you. And then start 

[01:13:15] Tommy (2): complaining. Yeah, that's great. A great way of putting it. Holy shit. Thank you for putting it like that. Because you know what he said so much just now, I'm going 

[01:13:25] Eldar: to ring a very specific, uh, button, but for a very specific reason, if [01:13:30] you answer me as to why I did it.

[01:13:32] Eldar: I give you 20 nano. 

[01:13:33] What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. 

[01:13:50] Eldar: Yes. Why? Why did I press 

[01:13:51] Tommy (2): that specific button? He totally perfectly explained what he, what he, what he meant.

[01:13:59] Tommy (2): [01:14:00] Why did I press the button?

[01:14:06] Eldar: 50 nano, 

[01:14:08] Tommy: it's got to be 10, 000 50 

[01:14:12] Eldar: nano right now, 

[01:14:12] Tommy: 75 bucks.

[01:14:17] Tommy (2): Yeah. I mean, it, it, it, it makes it clearer to me. I mean, um, you know, I find that I find that, uh, humbling would totally just explain humbling. And if you didn't find it humbling, you know, then [01:14:30] it's no longer in my hands. 

[01:14:33] Eldar: The thing is you use the right word. Well, you described the wrong event. What word the reason why I press the button is to keep him humble because he actually did say something.

[01:14:43] Eldar: Oh, damn Damn, but you apply it to yourself where I think you applied his shit to yourself, which is fine Which is you supposed to feel that way. That's why I press the button First Mike. Mm 

[01:14:59] Mike: hmm. [01:15:00] 

[01:15:00] Eldar: I don't know if you know, we're just transpired Yeah, it's okay because Tom's trying to still catch 

[01:15:06] Tommy: it it's still in the air Wait, does it make sense we're trying to help this guy?

[01:15:15] Tommy: I'm only kidding, Mike. Yeah. I'm only kidding. No, I 

[01:15:17] Mike: mean, I heard what he said he started with. He's saying that the reason that it's happening is because the people are too arrogant. 

[01:15:27] Yeah. 

[01:15:29] Mike: You know, and then [01:15:30] He started rambling and I lost it. 

[01:15:32] Toliy: Yeah, like one one crazy like dead giveaway thing. Is that uh, Like if you want to put it in like in like the most literal terms, but figuratively for for people, right?

[01:15:44] Toliy: Like it like what what i'm about what i'm about to say is literally what you should do, right? um, but but it's meant for like a like a like for uh, figuratively for people right when you don't know where to go What should you [01:16:00] do? Yeah. Ask. Ask for? Directions. Directions. Oh. Right. I like that. But, and, and like, if you want to make that like figuratively, right, if you don't have purpose, if you don't have direction, if you don't know what to do, well, why not start by asking?

[01:16:17] Toliy: Yeah. Why not start by asking questions? Well, you know why not. You know, instead, you need to believe that you're capable of reading this fucking hieroglyphic map and that you're gonna [01:16:30] figure out, like, what to do, what to say, how to do everything, right? Like, it's a very arrogant approach. 

[01:16:36] Eldar: Wow, Tom. 

[01:16:38] Mm hmm.

[01:16:40] Eldar: Tom, you're ours. No matter what happens, you're ours.

[01:16:45] Eldar: So, Mike? Mm 

[01:16:47] Mike: hmm. 

[01:16:48] Eldar: What do you think? 

[01:16:50] Mike: About Tom being arrogant, but he's being ours? Are we on to something 

[01:16:54] Eldar: or not? 

[01:16:57] Mike: Yeah, we are on to something. Of course. What are [01:17:00] we on to? We always are. 

[01:17:03] Tommy (2): This one was a good one. When I have to replay this later, 

[01:17:06] Eldar: I might have to, is it good? Because what your intentions to come here was good.

[01:17:11] Eldar: And it became good or is it good because 

[01:17:14] Tommy (2): it's inherently good No, because I thought a lot about what might transpire here on my way here What 

[01:17:23] Mike: Sorry tom, we're gonna cut you off because you weren't I knew you weren't gonna say 

[01:17:26] Eldar: anything. Oh, 

[01:17:27] Tommy: oh 

[01:17:27] Eldar: mike, are you 

[01:17:29] Tommy: all right? [01:17:30] I mean 

[01:17:31] Eldar: Like, I hope you feel better so you can attend the event tomorrow, man.

[01:17:34] Eldar: Tony's already trying to put me on, like, uh, what's his name, uh, Tabasco duty. 

[01:17:39] Mike: I know, I know, I know. I think I'll be okay. 

[01:17:41] Eldar: Alright, cool. 

[01:17:42] Mike: As long as he doesn't try to take me down again, yo. Yeah, he's like, yo, you gotta call Mike, 

[01:17:46] Eldar: find out what the green tomatillo sauce is. You know? I'm like, what? 

[01:17:53] Mike: Yeah, no, I think I'll be okay tomorrow.

[01:17:54] Tommy (2): Alright, cool. I'm thinking about, uh, Kant, right? [01:18:00] Immanuel Kant. Okay. Uh, something I read about him. He had this understanding of what reality was when he was young when he would just like travel into the mountains with friends and would have these intellectual conversations. 

[01:18:12] Mm hmm. 

[01:18:13] Tommy (2): And, you know, one day he was like, I'm gonna write a book.

[01:18:17] Tommy (2): Mm hmm. You know, I'm kind of making this a short story. Okay. And, um, you know, he would write to a friend of his, whoever it was, and he'd say, you know, I'm, I'm getting, it's getting, it's coming along, you know, [01:18:30] and 10 years passed. And um, and that's how it went. He just kept saying it's coming along. It's coming along And this book ended up being the critique of pure reason like his major thing, right?

[01:18:43] Tommy (2): But this guy had something in mind, you know Um, and he kept saying I think like elon musk like I think next year. I think next year. I think next year. Um, and uh In that I [01:19:00] see like, you know his struggle with What he the profoundness of what he probably realized this of this knowledge You know, so I think I think like I think that's like something that kind of anchors me a little bit It's not necessarily his story but What anchors me a little bit is, um, I guess, uh, You're aging gracefully.

[01:19:26] Tommy (2): Sticking to my values. You're aging gracefully. Um, [01:19:30] You're aging gracefully. Okay, yeah, I'll take it. I like that. But, but I also want to put my own words to it. No, but like, you're aging gracefully. Something like, I don't know, um, I don't know. There's, there is something lately that I totally connect with that's someone like that, you know, I connect with, you know, um, the source, like, you know, the infinite and like, I just try, you know, on, on my way here, like I said, I was [01:20:00] thinking about what am I, you know, I have all this stuff on my mind and I'm like, damn, like today would be the worst day if the guys, you know, like they started, you know, some like, You know, like poking at me or something like that, or, uh, or, um, you know, uh, ganging up on me and that kind of thing.

[01:20:18] Tommy (2): And so I was like, Oh my God, today it's like, I better not slip up here. Yeah. Something like that. 

[01:20:24] Toliy: Don't worry. Just remember one thing. Yeah. It's the most important thing to remember. 

[01:20:28] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:20:29] Toliy: Wherever we're going, [01:20:30] we're taking you with us. 

[01:20:33] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:20:33] Eldar: I don't think you have a choice in the matter, dude. 

[01:20:35] Toliy: Yeah, 

[01:20:36] Eldar: that's it.

[01:20:36] Eldar: You are ours, Tom. Yeah, that's 

[01:20:38] Mike: it. All suffering is due to ignorance, and all ignorance is due to ego. 

[01:20:45] Eldar: Okay. Whoa! Did you read that from Mustapha Cap? 

[01:20:50] Mike: No, I was just thinking about that, like you guys talking a lot about Suffering and ignorance, you know, 

[01:20:56] Eldar: and 

[01:20:56] Mike: the way to salvation is actually through [01:21:00] justice, which is like we discussed a long time ago, is to learn.

[01:21:03] Tommy (2): Yeah, it's to learn, yeah. So say it again, all suffering is, is ignorance? 

[01:21:09] Mike: All, all stress is due to suffering. All stress is due to suffering? 

[01:21:13] Tommy (2): I 

[01:21:13] Mike: mean, uh, all, all, um, all suffering is due to ignorance. Yeah, and then all ignorance is due to ego, and something like that. I don't remember, Tom. I was [01:21:30] freestyling, man.

[01:21:30] Tommy (2): It's all good. I'll just make it short. The thing that I was thinking about is really, um, you know, not being ashamed for the things that I, uh, that I think I may like, which it's, it's You may lack? I like. I may like, you know? Um, and I'm not talking about, I mean, how many things are there that we You know, I guess there are things out there of, of unknown things, of unknown places that, uh, you know, are unknown to us, like, well, I mean, like [01:22:00] I would not have thought of going to a rock mine, for example.

[01:22:03] Tommy (2): Yeah. And I, uh, yeah. Yeah. Um, and so there are things of that nature where you may not have thought about that. You may not have thought about tumbling rocks, picking up rocks, may not have known. But, you know, and then nature speaks to you, right? You might have not known that rocks exist. And yet might not have gone out into the stream, you know, like I did when I like found a, you know, [01:22:30] um, you know, how often we walk across bridges, for example, but how often do we actually peek under them and look at the structure underneath?

[01:22:37] Tommy (2): That's right. So, like, I think that's a profound realization in a way because you're so used to the downstairs mix up. You're so used to the, um, the convenience and, uh, and, uh, the, the first nature of a bridge, right? It's like you're going, you're going over it. And I don't know, you know, I, I, um, [01:23:00] I've been thinking about what really relates to me and like, what, uh, what is true, not true, but what do I, um, What are some, you know, so I mentioned to you, I mentioned to Eldar specifically while, uh, like a few weeks ago, we were, we were standing out in the parking lot and I was like, you know, and I told you this too, Mike, we, we, when I was, you know, younger and I had my friends in high school, like there were things like music that I listened to and, and that's normal, I guess later on, [01:23:30] you know, you may, you don't listen to the same stuff you listened to in high school.

[01:23:32] Tommy (2): Maybe you do, but, um, There are things that I'm ashamed about from my past that that I don't allow to, um, that I don't allow myself to associate in any way with include like, you know, I've kind of disconnected from a life of, you know, that. I've kind of like packaged and sealed and called a total shame, a total failure, [01:24:00] you know, I'm not allowing the good things in my life or the positive moments in my life to really shine through because I look at it as a causal chain and it's a causal chain that led to an entire failure, you know, total failure of things like, you know, If, if when I was 18, I couldn't go to university, it was because of all the stuff that led up to when I was 18, so it's kind of like, you know what I mean, it's all a chain, but if I let the good things [01:24:30] come through, like the moments in my life where a good teacher, like, you know, helped me out, or Um, or, you know, uh, where like, I kind of like fell in love with like rock music, you know, different kinds of rock music and, or, uh, or I did, it did well in art classes and stuff like that.

[01:24:49] Tommy (2): Um, then I'm true, I'm, I'm appreciating my true self in a way. So like, I don't know, lately I've confused kind of what the true self is with, you know. [01:25:00] I've kind of conflated two things. Uh, I've conflated the idea of your true self being You know, maybe that the kind of shame that you feel doing something um what you shouldn't feel or your true self being like I like music, you know, or I like this certain kind of music.

[01:25:20] Tommy (2): Um, and maybe they're the same, but, you know, creativity is something I value. So what I try to do [01:25:30] is be true to myself, you know, and it might lead me down paths I never imagined before. You guys know that I had a cork with tech, like I love the computers and stuff like that, but I never really did much. I mean, never applied it or, or I loved just the idea of.

[01:25:49] Tommy (2): Maybe it'll lead me, it'll lead me there. I never applied it. I realized this, you know, um, Don't, I don't need a very expensive camera and I don't need a very [01:26:00] expensive computer. Um, and it's just this kind of, uh, nervous nature of, you know, it's like, It's this nervous nature that I get from, from, for me, for me, it's kind of being young.

[01:26:19] Tommy (2): So this, this. This thing lately has told me, you know, um, be yourself and [01:26:30] allow yourself to really experience things wholly and without judgment against yourself, you know? So, so when I used to listen to techno and stuff like that back in the day, I was really just like a wild kid. I was really like, I look at that and I say, all that was partying.

[01:26:47] Tommy (2): All I remember is Fridays and Saturdays, you know? And why would I listen to this garbage? And I can summarize I associate in my mind in my mind [01:27:00] in my heart my soul like I associate it I associate it with this this this ugly person that I was um And but but that's that's like me shutting out the past and not allowing myself to really accept Who I am I can summarize this all in one 

[01:27:16] Toliy: sentence and tom will probably agree.

[01:27:20] Eldar: Would you like to hear 

[01:27:20] Toliy: it tom? 

[01:27:21] Eldar: Yeah Yes, I would. Oh, wow. Not from 

[01:27:24] Mike: He doesn't wanna hear Fromt though. That was 

[01:27:25] Eldar: a little bit of a hesitation. Right. I'm, I'm a little [01:27:30] hesitant. Give a. 

[01:27:35] So Tom, pretend like you don't 

[01:27:37] Toliy: know what's happening. Perhaps, perhaps. You can summarize this whole situation that Tom is in. In one sentence.

[01:27:44] Toliy: It'll be very clear. 

[01:27:45] Eldar: It's 

[01:27:46] Tommy (2): already unclear. Because he's suggesting, he's proposing, but he's not getting to share. 

[01:27:52] Toliy: And here it goes. Tom, 

[01:27:56] Eldar: well before you start, Tom is art. [01:28:00] And he's ours, 

[01:28:00] Tommy (2): fine. 

[01:28:01] Eldar: Tom is art and 

[01:28:03] Toliy: he's 

[01:28:04] Tommy (2): ours. Um, 

[01:28:08] Toliy: Tom got stuck. At the last time that he got scared.

[01:28:16] Eldar: Oh, wow. I'm done. Okay. I'm done. You know. I think we're done, Tom. Okay. Take off your, um, headphones. Are you fucking out of your mind, Colin?[01:28:30] 

[01:28:31] Toliy: Yeah. Got him. Does it make sense or no? A hundred percent. Tom, I think we have to drop the mic. We have to leave Joe 

[01:28:38] hanging. Cause he's listening. 

[01:28:43] Mike: I said Tom, are you stuck at the train station from the Matrix? 

[01:28:46] Tommy (2): So, like, can I just talk, I mean, we don't, this doesn't have to stay in the thing, but, you know, we talked about editing lately, it excites me very much.

[01:28:55] Tommy (2): And I don't know how to impress that upon you guys enough, [01:29:00] because, you know, I recently had to make this decision. I had to make this particular kind of thing on taking a stance against going and doing one thing or going and doing another thing. And I thought I had prepared myself to go and study some stuff and in a way, I just had to kind of, um, reel it back in.

[01:29:22] Tommy (2): Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Say it in a way. Yeah. I have, I've had to reel it back 

[01:29:26] Mike: [01:29:30] in. You think it's office a minute for the first time ever. 

[01:29:39] Tommy (2): Right. I would usually do that. Right. I would say no. Yeah, I think, I think You just repeated what he said without knowing what he was saying I think I really had to reel it back in 

[01:29:50] Toliy: Reel it back in How'd you have to reel it back in, Tom?

[01:29:55] Toliy: I know, I know Can you explain 

[01:29:57] Tommy (2): to me this? So, okay, listen, this guy has a poet kind [01:30:00] of sensibility And that's a good thing You had to reel it back in He's here, he's here 

[01:30:04] Tommy: singing people's praises Are you realizing what the fuck is going on here? 

[01:30:08] Toliy: How'd you get him to say that? Tom, you, you agreed that you really had to reel it back in What did you reel in?

[01:30:16] Toliy: Yeah, what did you reel in? What kind of carpet corker were you fucking wrestling with? What kind of carpet corker were [01:30:30] you wrestling with? Wrestling with the fish? Fucking huge dick. Carpet Croak! 

[01:30:37] You remember that time we were I do, 

[01:30:39] Eldar: I do. That fish is a hard nose Carpet Croak. And that's one thing you gotta reel in.

[01:30:45] Eldar: He said 

[01:30:46] Toliy: What? What did you say exactly? Tom, why did you agree to this? You got bamboozled. Ok. [01:31:00] Come on. Let me 

[01:31:01] Tommy (2): finish what I was saying. I've learned something from this. I've learned something from making this choice. 

[01:31:08] Okay. 

[01:31:08] Tommy (2): Um, because like I told you guys, I was trying to bring two worlds together. I was trying to pursue this thing and pursue that thing.

[01:31:17] Tommy (2): And, and, and then what I said to you was, you know, Uh, I would like to give 100 percent to this, this, this thing, it's, it's, it's new. It's like, um, it's, it's something that, uh, [01:31:30] uh, that, uh, that will be fun and that I could learn from, um, and, and it relates to my interests. Um, so there's, there's that ultimatum, like there's the dilemma, uh, of this.

[01:31:41] Tommy (2): Of this person, I guess like this person saying, uh, okay, so it's different. It's uh, It's uh, you know, you don't know what the outcome will be here. You're taking a risk in a way [01:32:00] Um, because as you see there are two choices like there were two paths that I could take And I thought I had it figured out. I thought I thought I thought You know, my life would go in this one direction and, and that's why it really, uh, it tested me to, to think, you know, um, maybe I should, maybe I should say, I want to do this.

[01:32:21] Tommy (2): Maybe this is the opportunity. And I talked to something, I talked to my mom and, you know, my mom said, um, like, this is a great opportunity [01:32:30] and, you know, you can always go return to school. You know, and um, she gave the blessing, she did, she, she did. And, but the thing is, I'm, I'm tough, like, I'm very stubborn and I won't really submit very easily.

[01:32:43] Tommy (2): Um, and I realized that there, there's reasons for that. We won't get, we won't get into, but like. You know, what I learned from this, um, is that, uh, that you, you really do connect when you allow yourself to open up, [01:33:00] um, in like the right way, you know, um, and it's that simple, you know, like I've taken a stance on this, I've dealt with it, I'm not going into those details now, but I've taken a stance on it, right, and I've said, this is how I feel about it, and it's, Uh, something I want to take seriously for, for certain reasons and for good reasons that I believe to be good intrinsically.

[01:33:25] Tommy (2): Well, for the moment being, Tom, I'm going 

[01:33:28] Eldar: to 

[01:33:28] Tommy (2): have to say, 

[01:33:29] Eldar: welcome [01:33:30] back. For 

[01:33:31] Toliy: now. Thank you. You really reeled this one in, Tom. Yeah, he really did reel this one in. A relief, a relief. Look at that. It's like taking a shit. 

[01:33:41] Eldar: Yeah. Wow. Are you proud of yourself? I gotta pee. Release. Thomas is 

[01:33:50] Mike: forever the big fish from Big Fish.

[01:33:52] Mike: I do. I do. I do feel proud of myself. This is true. I do. 

[01:33:55] Tommy (2): Yeah. I do. Um, and, and there's something that we [01:34:00] really touched on that really makes, I mean, I, that I actually brought up, right? This idea of like your people pleasing, um, and it's like not one of those situations, you know? Um, you have to like. See, uh, you have to see through, like as you say, act in accordance with the truth.

[01:34:20] Tommy (2): Act in accordance with the truth and to, to, to discover that truth. I think it might be some tough, tough nut cracking to do, but [01:34:30] you know, you crack that nut eventually when you, when you persist and you believe Wow. And you stand, stand behind your values, you know? 

[01:34:36] Eldar: Is he onto something to totally. I, I zoned out for that last part, that part.

[01:34:41] Toliy: Yeah, 

[01:34:41] Eldar: well, rightfully so again, no, don't worry about it. Yeah, I will keep this one from you. Okay, good. It's between me and you. I'm going to polish this rock on my own. Yes, I like it. Everything you said he'll like, but the reason why he wasn't paying attention, because we needed to lodge it into the subconscious for now.[01:35:00] 

[01:35:00] Eldar: Dude, if you make me laugh, I'm literally going to pay myself. No, but we did. 

[01:35:03] Toliy: We have to pack that fucker away. Yeah, we probably, yeah, 

[01:35:06] Eldar: see, we listen. We can't say that we didn't tell him because he was here. It's lodged in his subconscious. So going forward, it's gonna be like a flower right now It's in the dark and the flower is not open But slowly we're gonna bring him to the light this flower or add light to it sunshine And it'll slowly start to open up and he won't be so shocked.

[01:35:28] Eldar: He'll be naturally [01:35:30] gradually Accepting of it and blessing it because it's already in there and you just planted it Wow now go pee Wow. Yeah. Mike? 

[01:35:44] Mike: Yeah, sorry. I couldn't focus on Tom's rant today. 

[01:35:47] Eldar: Okay. Are you still with us? 

[01:35:49] Mike: Physically or mentally? 

[01:35:52] Eldar: Yeah. Physically, 

[01:35:54] Mike: I think I'm still here. Mentally? Uh, no. I needed you to press that button about 30 minutes ago.[01:36:00] 

[01:36:00] Toliy: Oh, I get it. Mentally, Mike's trying to figure out what to order. Yes. No, 

[01:36:04] Mike: no. I 

[01:36:06] Toliy: So, 

[01:36:07] Eldar: Tully, final thoughts, what do you think, on what Mike proposed, on what Mike proposed, on what Mike, Mike You know had an epiphany on our realization. Yeah, I 

[01:36:18] Toliy: think it's definitely a good idea I I still stand I like it would be a huge change of character my new mantle Man, you mantle.

[01:36:27] Toliy: Yes. Yes, it would be a menu mantle. Yes [01:36:30] change in character. Yes I think it's doable, but I think it'll be very hard, you know, but I think with with enough Persistence, it's possible.

[01:36:45] Eldar: I would have to agree with him Mike Um, I do agree with them. I think, um, all these things that you've come to, you know, realize slowly, but surely, you know, I think you're still, you know, on to something here and you can continue to polish your character and this is [01:37:00] a good one, right? Monumental, that's all you can say, um, for you if you crack this nut.

[01:37:06] Eldar: You know what I mean? So, yeah, hopefully you, uh, systematically, you know, chip away at it. Yeah, 

[01:37:13] Toliy: I think one, one, one big result, I think that'll happen. Um, as this is getting closer to accomplish when you speak. Um, like when, when, when you'll speak to people, they'll, [01:37:30] they'll finally know who you are. 

[01:37:32] Eldar: Oh, okay.

[01:37:36] Eldar: That's good. 

[01:37:38] Mike: Mm hmm.

[01:37:42] Eldar: Yeah, Mike. What are your final thoughts on this since you brought this up? What'd you learn? What do you think? 

[01:37:50] Mike: Yeah, I mean final thoughts. I agree everything that was said. I mean, I understand the money mentalness of it When I [01:38:00] was talking to Joe about it, I was telling him how serious this is I don't understand how serious it is how affects my life So I definitely understand the monumental size of it.

[01:38:12] Mike: And, uh, I mean, I look forward to over what is it accomplishing to, to, to beat this thing, 

[01:38:23] Eldar: to 

[01:38:23] Mike: working on it, to getting better at it. 

[01:38:25] Eldar: Okay. Sorry, Mikey. I thought you were finished. All right. Good. Very good. Tom, [01:38:30] um, we were sharing some final thoughts on the original thing that we talked about with Mike, uh, about some of the stuff and, um, I would like with your permission.

[01:38:40] Eldar: For me to reel it back in right before you say your final thoughts 

[01:38:45] Tommy (2): to reel it back in. 

[01:38:46] Eldar: Yeah. Can I reel it back in? 

[01:38:48] Tommy (2): What do you mean by that? 

[01:38:49] Eldar: I said my final thoughts, but I didn't really expand on it But now if the mic said something I wanted to 

[01:38:53] Tommy (2): yeah, 

[01:38:53] Eldar: I'll reel it back in please Okay, and maybe this will help I personally get excited.

[01:38:59] Eldar: All right, [01:39:00] at least About the things that we discover about ourselves, right? Not necessarily myself, but obviously myself too, but obviously my friends when they come across some of these things You know what I mean? Yeah, like what Mike just came across because now it almost feels like we're totally suggested before it's important to have direction, okay?

[01:39:24] Eldar: And I think that through certain pain that we learn about ourselves that we're sitting on, right? Or we have an [01:39:30] ongoing pain that has been on some conscious level. We finally were shining light on the Conscious level of this pain and if we're able to actually see it and feel this pain, right? What naturally almost comes to play is that we find direction, you know, and the direction is very simple, right?

[01:39:50] Eldar: It can be all this complicated words We just said and all these theories and all this other stuff, which I don't think is very complicated I think it's very common sense. But nonetheless, maybe it's a naked eye or naked ear it is [01:40:00] in the layman terms Mike found direction that he was in which was pain and now he'd like to be Relieved of this pain.

[01:40:10] Eldar: He would like to relieve this pain for himself. Relieve it, you know And that's it and that's as basic as it gets Mike found that he was in pain And this was causing him pain and he'd like to find ways Practice ways and get advice and follow advice and do something for himself in order to change that direction To not be in pain [01:40:30] anymore, and I think that's awesome, you know, especially when you see your friends going through these processes and changing the character for the better so they can open themselves up to opportunities and right realities that weren't presented to them before because of the prison that they were locked in personally in.

[01:40:52] Eldar: You know, so it's awesome, right? And I hope that Tommy for you as well, that, you know, that what you're seeing right now is [01:41:00] also tied to a very specific perception that you're finally making yourself, making clear for yourself that in fact, that you come here and maybe collaborate with us on the very specific project that is on, maybe it's a little new, I'm not done yet.

[01:41:13] Tommy (2): For me, I mean, uh, sorry, I thought I'd just chime in. Maybe it is a little new, maybe a little early, right? But that could possibly be true. I 

[01:41:22] Eldar: just hope that it's tied to, right? The perception that you've had for a very long time that you were in pain and now this potentially can be [01:41:30] out of pain and, you know, get yourself out of.

[01:41:32] Eldar: This pain. Yeah. And hopefully it works for you where you can connect those dots and you no longer have to operate out of the fear or this scared place. I totally talked about earlier, right? Which, yeah, for me is, and that'll be, I think that'll be, yeah, I think that'll be liberating for you, for Michael, whoever else is going through the process of finally getting themselves out of their 

[01:41:51] Toliy: pain.

[01:41:52] Eldar: Remember, Tom, 

[01:41:53] Toliy: for you, it's not what it's how and with who. 

[01:41:58] Okay. [01:42:00] 

[01:42:00] Eldar: It's very powerful. And he just said a lot without saying, with saying only two words. 

[01:42:05] Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:42:06] Eldar: And if you'd like to find out what those two words are, right, to really go into depth of what we're talking about here, you have to sign up to our Patreon.

[01:42:13] Eldar: However, we don't have one.

[01:42:20] Tommy (2): So good luck. But it is actually him, if you notice, uh, repeating his earlier say, what he said earlier, [01:42:30] you know, he's saying it another way, but you have to ask questions. Um, you have to have, you have to ask your direction. You have to ask four directions if you don't have one, right? 

[01:42:40] Eldar: Yeah, but he's saying it very specifically.

[01:42:42] Eldar: That was a nice pithy saying. It's not what, it's not what, it's with who. 

[01:42:47] Yeah. 

[01:42:49] Eldar: The introduction is, right, for your liberation, is to go through the process of removing yourself from what you were doing in your head on your own. And now introducing yourself into the world and doing it [01:43:00] with someone to be able to be liberated.

[01:43:02] Eldar: Right. 

[01:43:04] Tommy (2): Yeah, I agree with that, absolutely. I do. And there are details there, there are characteristics here to this kind of, you know, this issue, um, you know, that I, uh, that, you know, it's, it's, it's interesting, you know, you, if you should drop your set of problems. And you, uh, you kind of, uh, allow yourself to be vulnerable and [01:43:30] open up, um, with the willingness to listen to other people.

[01:43:35] Tommy (2): Um, that's like, in a way, you're committing to your belief in your, in your actions, and that could bring. I think I can bring good things into somebody's life, and this is precisely what I want to be engaged in today. Um, so it has been a journey, um, a journey of recovery, I think, a journey back, I guess you could say.[01:44:00] 

[01:44:00] Tommy (2): Finding your home. Finding my home, yeah, and in, in, in art, I think, you know, in art. 

[01:44:07] Eldar: Alright, that's it. Let's not go any further because that's a big one to 

[01:44:11] Toliy: one, one, one last statement, Tom, in a movie I watched a long time ago, it was a basketball movie and it was, it was the air, but no, the players were playing selfish coach goes to one on one.

[01:44:28] Toliy: You guys have no chance, [01:44:30] but as a team, you'll guarantee to win. And that goes for Tom one on one. He has no chance. 

[01:44:40] Eldar: Thank you totally for the blessings. And, uh, Tom, thank you. Good luck. You're real. Thank you, [01:45:00] Mike.