156. Ego - why it's good, and how to trick it

What role does ego play in our lives and how can we manage it? 

In this week's episode, the conversation centers around the ego as a preservation mechanism that protects us from facing harsh realities. The hosts discuss how ego is tied to trauma and how it can be tricked into facilitating learning by introducing social embarrassment. They explore the nature of ego through anecdotes, examples, and questioning its existence. The dialogue exposes the complexity of ego, its ties to personal identity, and how it impacts our actions and perceptions. With humorous interludes and tangential discussions, the conversation ultimately seeks to understand how to navigate ego's influence to foster personal growth and humility.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Ego and Its Purpose
• 0:43 The Role of Ego in Learning
• 1:39 Ego as a Defense Mechanism
• 2:55 Personal Experiences with Ego
• 4:19 Ego in Social Dynamics
• 6:05 Acknowledging and Overcoming Ego
• 8:47 Ego and Learning Disabilities
• 17:20 Ego and Group Dynamics
• 22:59 Ego and Self-Perception
• 40:43 Ego as a Social Creature
• 48:36 Ego as the Evil Twin
• 49:01 Struggles with Correction and Acceptance
• 49:32 The Illusion of Intelligence
• 55:42 The Exhaustion of Perfection
• 1:06:13 The Paradox of Ego and Truth
• 1:14:07 Facing Fear and Anxiety
• 1:28:53 The Transformation of Humility
• 1:32:16 Survival of the Fittest: Mental Toughness
• 1:33:39 Evolution and Adaptation: From Lizards to Humans
• 1:36:07 Ego and Vulnerability: The Struggle Within
• 1:44:11 Relationship Dynamics: Money and Truth
• 2:06:41 Practical Advice: Navigating Social Interactions
• 2:18:28 Faking It: The Art of Pretending
• 2:19:36 The Root Cause of Behavior
• 2:27:03 The Harry Potter Analogy
• 2:39:38 Final thoughts on Ego

Transcript

[00:00:00] Eldar: On this week's episode, it's something that we develop as a preservation mechanism, because every example that I'm thinking about with ego, it's to combat the inability to see the reality and to face the reality. So it's something to protect the trauma. Here's a way to leverage ego in order to get the learning going.

Introduce other people, right? Let it be embarrassing in front of someone. And then the gig is up. 

[00:00:24] Tolis: We talk with my friends. With simple terms, I wouldn't go like, Oh, maybe your ego, the gravities. All

[00:00:43] Eldar: right, guys, this week's episode, we're going to talk about ego and it's elusiveness. That's how tricky it is. Um, what's its purpose and how good it really is. Right. Cause it's pretty good at what it does. Right. I'm not saying that ego is necessarily good. But you have to compliment the fact that ego does play tricks on us, right?

and it's doing a good job because I think it's um, It's taking up a lot, it's taking, taking a lot from us, right? It's taking a lot of time It's definitely make us feel a certain type of way. There's a lot of emotions that are spent There's so much that's tied to the our ego, you know, why is it so good?

Why is it so? Manipulative, tricky. Is the ego something that we created? So let's, yeah, let's try to talk about it. Let's maybe try to even define what that actually is. Right. I mean, I'm sure that we're gonna have a really hard time with the ego itself because I mean ultimately I mean, I don't want to skip the steps, but ultimately Buddhists believe that ego doesn't exist But maybe we'll get to that and see how we can get there.

[00:02:03] Toliy: See you brought that up in our conversation So something with that we're talking about Yeah, 

[00:02:08] Eldar: yeah, yeah, yeah, so that's why maybe we came back came back all the way around So, I mean there's countless examples where our ego, right? It's so detrimental to our lives that it's without fit without finally figuring out how to waste to Put it down or to tame it or to understand it.

We really can't go to the next level I think of what all we totally is always talking about is like humble yourself to start learning, right? You have to be humble, right? You have to have some humility, right? Which then opens up a level of want to learn right? Yeah, 

[00:02:46] Toliy: but yeah, like I'm not sure if I would phrase it that way We're um, we're egos Detrimental I don't think it's detrimental, I think.

To learning? Yeah, I think, like, part of, like, the um, No, no, not, not, well, yeah, so, I'm saying that ego is a hindrance 

[00:03:04] Eldar: to learning. 

[00:03:04] Toliy: It, yeah, it's a hindrance to learning, but overall it's not a bad thing. 

[00:03:08] Eldar: Sure, because you're already seeing it that way. 

[00:03:10] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:03:11] Eldar: Because I think that you probably already understand the purpose of ego, maybe.

Yeah. Maybe you could talk about that, but, But nonetheless, like, for a general public, I think that Ego is a hindrance, right? And a hindrance is for growth. And the only because growth can only happen through learning, 

[00:03:26] Toliy: but no, but, but like, I, I agree with you, but, but, but I think I also disagree, right?

Because like, if we're talking about the ego and its purpose, like in, in the application of learning, right? Like we're calling it a hindrance because we're deeming as like. There's learning that's going to be a benefit for the person and then there's ego that's kind of preventing them right from from from From like accepting that or taking that information, right?

Sure, but For the person that that's obviously not how they look at it, right? they're there they're at that moment under like a Spell like a spell right? They they have a mental Disability at that moment, right? That's happening. Yeah. And, um, for them, their ego is actually protecting them potentially from something fair.

So in the moment, the person, no one's knowingly, like we're saying like, Hey, Um, there's clearly like a pot of gold there. I'm going to not look at it because like my ego is here. Like, like, right. Like they're not like, uh, thinking like that they're thinking, Oh no, no. Your learnings are an attack onto my system.

Your learnings are a bad thing. I'm going to, uh, um, have my ego come out and help me. 

[00:04:45] Eldar: All right. So then talk about a little bit of a purpose or that ego has, why does ego have a purpose and what, what is it? It's purpose then. Well, I think 

[00:04:53] Toliy: that, um, When it comes to like, when it comes to like taking in information, I think that is the The clear difference between mankind and like machines 

Mm 

[00:05:06] Toliy: hmm and robots and like software right software has no ego for example a computer Okay, you download information for it regardless of how it feels or whatever it is Like it's going to to download that that information, right?

Mm hmm 

[00:05:23] Toliy: Whereas for people it's not the same way they hear information and then they react they they react and they feel particular ways Right. Yeah, so that to me is like a huge separating factor and Your question was what? Well, what was the purpose of it? What's the purpose of the ego that it plays in our lives?

Yeah, I think that oh, okay. So so just for my point was I think that the purpose of, of, of ego is to, I think that it enables you ultimately to think. And I think that if we didn't have egos, we would never have to think, and we would just be able to download information. All right. You can't, you, I don't think 

[00:06:05] Eldar: you, I don't think you can go to the thinking part without first expanding on why ego exists and why did we employ it in order to protect us?

Can you talk about that a little bit more? 

[00:06:16] Toliy: Why, why do we employ it to protect us? Well, because like Like how 

[00:06:20] Eldar: does it 

[00:06:21] Toliy: protect us and 

[00:06:22] Eldar: what is it protecting? 

[00:06:23] Toliy: Yeah. Well, I think that ego comes out when Like there's an attack on your understanding right or there's an attack on like your plan or there's like an attack on like What you think so who's in possession over this 

[00:06:38] Eldar: understanding when you say you're 

[00:06:40] Toliy: the person who?

The person 

[00:06:44] Eldar: the 

[00:06:44] Toliy: person or the ego Well, if we're saying that the ego is not part of the person like I think the ego is like summoning who part of them is Part of that personality. Yeah, part of who they are and what they believe in is being some, some, and it's a very concentrated form of that person. So it's almost, it's almost what you're saying is that, I mean, wow.

I think ego in that case is like a good thing because it can either further your stance on something and like extend it. So it becomes, so, so like your, um, eventual fall could be higher and higher, right? Or like a, like a steeper fall. No. Or Um, if you're not, not lucky, but a fortunate situation is you have a problem.

Now, if you have a problem on your hands now, then that's a good thing. I think you, you, you tip tip the scales. Once you get to the, you have a problem.

Because now if you have a problem, the ego is not strong enough to just like bull through it, right? And like continue on. So what is required 

[00:07:57] Eldar: after that? What? What is required then when ego finally hits that wall that you said that it's not powerful enough to go through that. Well, I don't think it hits a wall.

[00:08:06] Toliy: I think that like now there's just like a 50 50 match potentially like forming versus like where clearly people who have a big ego It flares up it gets stronger and then they they move on Like they're, they have like a 90 10 scenario between like the ability to maybe learn and like their, their ego stopping them.

[00:08:28] Eldar: Harris, quick question. Hmm. Okay. A lot of times we have conversations with you. Mm hmm. Okay, a lot. Yeah, a lot of those conversations, you know how they end up? With you kind of making a statement about something that you know, yeah, yes. Yeah. Okay, and we quickly like oh shoot Like here we go. Again. Harris is making a statement about something that he doesn't know nothing about Yeah, right and we disprove you in those things right in that moment when you try to defend yourself, is that ego?

I don't know. It's hard for me come to the conclusion. What that is the defense mechanism. Okay, why

I guess in a way I want to think I know something, right? Mmm. Okay, uh. Is it always 

[00:09:19] Eldar: the case that the ego actually wants to know this? Know what? Know that it wants to know something? Like what he just said? 

[00:09:25] Toliy: Knowing, like The desire to think that, you know, it, something is like a cardinal sin. 

Everyone 

[00:09:31] Toliy: has this cardinal sin.

Like it sets you up, it sets you up to get, like, why 

[00:09:36] Eldar: do you have to say that? That everybody has this to like, kind of like, not feel alone in the MO for the moment. Yeah, man. Okay, cool. 

You know? 

[00:09:43] Eldar: Yeah. Did that burrito want comfort? You 

don't want you, it's a, I, I'll admit it, it's a, uh, defense mechanism that I have that Okay.

Uh, I don't wanna be a total useless piece of shit, right? Mm-hmm . 

[00:09:58] Toliy: No, no, it's like the the fact the phenomenon thing that like people are only okay to be dumb when they're alone But when they when you bring people into the mix That can never happen. 

[00:10:09] Eldar: Is that 

[00:10:09] Toliy: true? 

[00:10:10] Eldar: I don't know So what he's saying is that like you just said right you confirmed and said hey look I don't want to be a total useless guy here, you know, like I miss you guys or whatever, right?

so I have to kind of like Defend myself here. Right? But if you were alone and you mess something up, you completely be okay with it. You wouldn't like argue with anyone. You wouldn't argue with yourself, right? Right? You just kind of take it. Depends what it 

is, you might argue with yourself. Really? Yeah.

Give me an example of that. If I knew I fucked up during the day, like, around people. Yeah. I'll kick myself in the ass, like, you fucking dumb son of a bitch. Oh, okay. Yeah. But no, not not if I fuck up when I'm by myself. What if I'm around someone? Yeah. Oh, that's still like you Yeah, I'll argue it myself.

Like when I get home, I'll say to myself you dumb son. What the fuck were you thinking? You know that type of shit. Yeah. Yeah 

[00:10:57] Eldar: Alright, so you confirming that it's probably your ego speaking because in the moment that when you're with people you don't want to sound dumb You want to be able to contribute to something right?

[00:11:08] Toliy: Yeah and also like the ego always falls for like the trick is that like When a question's asked and you think that you know what you're talking about, you have to say, like, you have to give your input. Yeah. Because like, it's your time, like, it's your chance to shine. Yeah. So, is that the, is that your problem?

One 

[00:11:26] Eldar: of them, sure. 

[00:11:27] Toliy: Especially, I think that this happens the most You understand 

[00:11:29] Eldar: this, Harris. No. How, why does he understand 

[00:11:32] Harris: it? But you understand it, Eldar? You can't just He doesn't, he doesn't understand this? No. You can't just So why do you agree? I can't get rid of it. 

[00:11:37] Eldar: Why do you agree? What do you 

[00:11:39] Toliy: mean?

[00:11:40] Eldar: Why do you agree with what was 

[00:11:42] Toliy: He understands the feeling. Okay. Because it's a feeling. 

Okay, 

[00:11:45] Eldar: but he nonetheless he understands it. Well, yeah, I mean you can't get rid 

of something you don't been doing for some 20 odd years Do you 

[00:11:51] Eldar: acknowledge the fact that you're suffering from it? 

[00:11:54] Toliy: In a way, sure. No, but like, only right now.

But in general, he doesn't. I 

am on, uh, some edibles and some liquor. But that's generally true for everyone. I 

[00:12:04] Eldar: just wanted to put that out there. Huh? Yeah. Was it my No, I'm saying that's the 

[00:12:08] Toliy: case for everybody, no? Well, like, if they're severely struggling with something, yeah. But, like, if they've, like, if they've either, like, understood that more, or like, they're more, like, uh, humble, then no.

Oh, is there a person who's understood, like, everything? Well, not, not, not like everything, but there's people, yeah, no, but there's people who's like lives are severely hindered by it. And then there's people who maybe are like moderate, moderately hindered about it. And then there's people that are relatively, for the most part, not hindered like about it.

So I think that like when you're severely hindered by it. Give me an example of those. Yeah. What like, uh, moderately severe. 

[00:12:46] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:12:46] Toliy: How'd you like gauge those? Well, like 

[00:12:49] Eldar: severe, I looked at like, Hold on one second before you stop this. Um, Harris, are you severely impaired by your ego and your arrogance? I don't know.

You don't know 

[00:13:00] Toliy: parking pass 100% The blue mental, uh, parking pass. Fuck you, man. What? Fuck you. I told you that ain't happening, man. Alright. Can you print a few of those out of there for me? But you 

[00:13:11] Eldar: yourself said you have like a learning disability and stuff like that, you know, and like You gonna put me on 

blast about that, man?

[00:13:17] Eldar: What do you mean on blast? No, I actually Not on 

[00:13:19] Toliy: blast, like 

[00:13:21] Eldar: Every one of my families got one, man. Yep, you know what? Despite the fact that you think you have one, I don't think you have anything. I think you're, you're a very bright kid. I don't think so, man. That's okay. That's what me and you disagree. 

How am I bright?

He's an example, man. Well, first of all, 

[00:13:36] Toliy: you were wearing a yellow sweater all day. 

Zeke the Kid, man. I want to give a shout out. Thanks for the merch, man. You the man. Alright, cool. Thank you, Zeke.

[00:13:48] Eldar: Well, first of all, you acknowledging exactly what you're going through. Anytime that we're pointing it out and stuff, sometimes you fight back, obviously. Your ego fights back. But a lot of times you You come to a conclusion, they're like, ah, shit, I do need some help in this area. I do. I know I do. Like today, right?

Because I have a learning disability, man. Sure. See, now 

[00:14:09] Eldar: I think that it might be the problem that sometimes that people box them in, into this, I have a learning disability factor, right? Where then he himself, right, developed what? A very specific. Attitude, almost like a lack of confidence towards himself because he's been labeled as learning disabled or whatever, you know what I mean?

And you mentioned this today as soon as we had that conversation in there about what transpired after that call You said hey like, you know, I just made a joke about the learning disabled thing No, but literally you're like I do have that and that's why I'm not confident. I 

have one it runs in the family I don't care where it 

[00:14:43] Eldar: runs to okay, it doesn't matter 

Forget about that.

I was a slow learner and they recognized that. 

[00:14:48] Eldar: Fine. Everybody has learning disability. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I think that I personally think that each person learns specifically. Not necessarily all the same. 

Well, it seems like, uh, I don't know. I'm learning better when I actually have someone coaching me in the Well, you see?

Because today 

[00:15:06] Eldar: we deduced these things that you linked it to. You said, hey, like, I do have problems with learning and my whole life I felt this way. Or whatever, or at least they told me, you said, they told me to have this and that's why I have this self-confidence issue. 

I felt, I felt like it too be, I'm gonna be honest with you, and I, I barely scraped through high school.

Like 

[00:15:25] Eldar: that's 

fine. I don't care 

[00:15:26] Eldar: about that. Pretty scraped through high school . You were scrambling and scraping, he said. Barely scraped through. Yeah. 

Yeah. I barely made it through, man. 

[00:15:35] Eldar: I don't know. Uh, this is what I'm saying, that, you know, despite the fact that you might think that like you have these issues or whatever, I see certain things that.

That I don't see that you don't see that actually are playing in your favor, you know what I mean? Yeah, and that's why I think that you still at this thing and you still trying and I appreciate that You know what? I mean? And I think that anybody who keeps trying When shit 

got hard When I was younger, right?

Yeah. I just said, fuck it. And walked off. Uh huh. I'm trying to change my ways. You know, I want to put in the full effort. I want to learn something. I don't want to be a useless piece of shit. So here's to that. 

[00:16:13] Eldar: Cheers to that. For sure. See, that thing alone, I think is good. Right. The acknowledgement of certain factors.

Sure, there's a lot of work to be done and a lot of, there's a big journey to, you know, to go through in order to get to what he's trying to get to. But nonetheless, the acknowledgement of it already is, it's a, it's a spark for change. It's a spark for learning. It's a spark for something. It's a spark for an argument.

You know what I [00:16:40] mean? That he understands that this, he has, he has a problem and because he's understands this, he's raising his hand to say, you know what? I want to be challenged. Tell me what I'm doing wrong. Tell me this, right? Even the way he approached the situation with Joe, right, which I didn't even know but it was a fascinating moment, I think, right?

Oh, yeah, I didn't know that he approached him. That's fascinating. Yeah, that's huge. Yeah that he was able to pick up on that Yeah thing. You know what? I'd love for you to share that. Okay, fine. I'd love for you to share it. Come on All right. I'd love for you to share. Why don't you share it? Oh, I don't know it well, but I'll try it just so just all right So we went to vacation to Aruba all of us together.

All right, it was a big group of maybe 12 15 people or whatever by 14 15 14 14 plus my babish one baby one baby, so 15 people right and Harris Um, has never been to like, let's say a group trip before or never been part of a dynamic where there's a lot of people and there's a lot that's going on, obviously, right?

When it comes to planning, cooking, preparing, cleaning and all this other stuff, right? So naturally, he just kind of sat at the chair at the table, whatever, and didn't do much, right? And our friend Joe, who's been part of these types of group dynamics all his life almost, right? Through having a big family to being part of a firefighter, right?

His career and stuff like that he understands the dynamic and how to kind of be useful and what to do All right, and naturally I think Joe was seeing Harris Not participating or not contributing to some of the dynamic that was happening, right? Be it cooking or cleaning or whatever. He almost was giving him a cold shoulder.

Hope I'm giving you this is correct He was giving Harris the cold shoulder and Harris picked up on it He's like he actually came up to Joe and said hey Joe like what's up, man? Like is something wrong here? What's what's going on? You know, cuz he felt some kind of tension Yeah, 

[00:18:34] Toliy: he even said to me is like man.

I thought you were my biggest fan Yeah, 

[00:18:38] Harris: dude, like yeah, you know 

[00:18:41] Toliy: Really you said it like that? Well, that's awesome. Yeah, he was drunk high and he was smelling the fumes from the grill who Are you serious? I was, I was not drunk. But you were smelling the fumes on the grill wasn't who grill? What the fuck is that that gonna 

[00:18:54] Eldar: do, man?

The pork man. Alright, so get back to the story. So Harris comes up to Joe and he confronts him almost and says, Hey, like, I kind of know. So there's some tension between us, right? Uh, and Joe. And Joe offers his, you know, kind of like, um, why mm-hmm . Why that is. Yeah. Right? And apparently Joe observed this behavior that Harris had, right?

That he didn't contribute, didn't do anything, whatever, just sitting around. And he called him out on it. He said, Hey, look, you know, like the group is doing this, group is doing that, and then you know where to be found. You're just kind of like, reaping the benefits from all, from the group dynamic and stuff, 

and you're not helping.

Yeah. You know, and, and, and, He even said, you know, uh, you're the probie of the group, which means you gotta do grunt work. You know, you gotta, 

[00:19:36] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah, but before that, right, Harris said to him too, he said, Hey, like, I've never been part of this. Like I need a little bit of guidance 

and why I asked him to treat me like a probate.

[00:19:45] Eldar: Yeah. He's like, Hey, treat me like a probate. 

He was doing this in, in Bermuda too. 

[00:19:51] Eldar: Who Harris? Harris was doing that. Yeah. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. You know, uh, but again, he didn't know how to kind of act or react to this kind of type of dynamic. So he asked the guy who's maybe a senior now, right? Um, to treat me like a probie.

I need some orders. You need some orders. 

[00:20:08] Eldar: You need some guidance. And Joe gave those orders to him and gave us those guidance. I said, Harris, you can help. Listen, if you don't know how to cook. You help with cleaning, you know, the throw out the garbage, you know, it's how to throw out the garbage, obviously, and the stuff like that, right, do 

the dishes 

[00:20:19] Eldar: or whatever it is that you can help out, right, putting stuff away, groceries or whatever, carrying some stuff or whatever.

So I thought that was a brilliant kind of exchange where an individual who didn't know, found out, and then he became part of the group and where he was engaged in such a way where he felt good. You know, and everybody felt good in return. And I think probably I hope, or, you know, they both developed a new found respect.

Maybe towards one another where, you know, they now know maybe when we do, we do go on trips. Harris can pull his weight, Joe will pull his weight and they can relate to that. Joe will keep 

guiding. 

[00:21:00] Eldar: Yeah. Keep guiding. Joe will keep guiding him, you know, and I think Harris probably finds a little bit of comfort in that.

Yeah. You know? 

And then before we left, you know, he told me everyone needs a little guidance now and again. 

[00:21:10] Eldar: Yeah. So. Yeah. So I think that that's brilliant. Yeah, cuz I thought I thought I thought the story I think even said to you as a joke came up to Harrison. Yeah, what are you doing? No, you know, you're not doing shit Yeah, but but I because I wasn't paying attention.

I was busy. Yeah, Tony was paying attention Yeah, I was busy running back and forth. Yeah between in and out so Now to hear it. It's like wow, this is a completely different story. It's a sick story. Oh, this is the first time I'm hearing this. Well, I heard you guys talk about earlier today. Yeah, a couple hours ago Okay, but I didn't hear the full version, but that was 

yesterday, but okay.

[00:21:44] Eldar: Yeah Sorry, sorry, so, um I got the bench. Yeah. So what, what are we trying to say with that? Just an example of you're brilliant. You're not a complete disabled learner. Exactly. Exactly. Right. Where like, he clearly feels something. 

Well, if you can't sense attention, then yeah. Well, there you go. That's 

[00:22:04] Eldar: not a basic thing.

So most people are oblivious. Yes. Yes. Most people, I would say they are oblivious, right? Not only that they will never ask, right. What's going on. That's like next level, right? They might not even feel the tension, Harris. And that is probably a more learning disabled person and there's plenty of them out there.

And there might have been some people on the trip who had that condition. Yeah, exactly. 

Just saying. I think one of them sitting in the room.

That didn't do much to the other people. Cousin helps, come on. Yeah, he helped, but he was a loner. Yeah, or he was going through some stuff. He had a stomachache. Yeah. Oh, that was Tommy. Okay. Those are not same people? No. They have a certain, uh. Yeah. No, he was helping. No, he was helping, but he's still to the side.

No, 

[00:22:59] Eldar: Harris, the point is, the point is, is that despite the fact that you label yourself as a person who's learning disabled, right? You understand. The world reality, the dynamic, well, I wouldn't 

say the world, but, okay, 

[00:23:12] Eldar: well your world. Mm-hmm . Right? I'm not talking about the world. Let's just say your reality, your what you're experiencing and you're deducing the right stuff.

You deduced his tension. You realized what it was. I give you props for coming up to him. It took me a couple 

days to realize, you know, listen, but nonetheless, you did 

[00:23:28] Eldar: it still. It was a only couple days trip, man. Yeah, exactly. It's better late than ever. Yeah, that's good. You came up to him, you addressed it.

Yeah. Huge and. And you guys came to a very reasonable resolution. Yeah. That's great. And now you guys have like a different kind of Yeah. girls in a relationship. Exactly. You guys Do you guys Do you want to kiss him? Oh. No, man. You sick son of a bitch. No way, man. What's wrong, man? But when Joe was in the pool, I did see Harris a couple of times brush up against him, you know what I mean?

You 

sick son of a bitch, man. It was a big pool. Are you 

[00:24:00] Toliy: kidding me? 

Okay. No, Eldar has been smoking a lot of shit on that trip. Well, we're trying 

[00:24:06] Eldar: to 

say at the 

[00:24:10] Eldar: end of the day that you're not necessarily learning disabled. You might be perceiving the world differently. You might be concluding differently, but you're still learning and you still have a lot of potential.

Finding ways to tap into it can be tricky. And the tricky part, going back to the topic is the ego. Because the ego 

right. Always plays tricks on us. So I think I should become Socrates for a little bit. You need 70 degrees. Lock me in the cave for , like a month. . And then we become the cave. He's, he's, that's so funny.

Let me become, uh, you know, uh, my will, my soul will be gone, you know? Yeah. Locked in a cave by myself, and I'll be begging for help. Listen, we can 

[00:24:51] Eldar: do that. We can arrange that. So, the ego. Yeah. The ego is the tricky part, right? Because we're trying to figure out what is it that ego is doing. I can't answer that.

Where it's holding you back from Being, becoming the learner that maybe totally has been pushing for for a very long time for you, right? Where you can raise your hand and say, Hey, I would like to find this. Hey, I'd like to find that. More of an eager learner, 

right? This is like next level. I've been doing this for 20 years, what I do, and I don't know how to answer this.

So, is that candid? 

[00:25:23] Toliy: Well, like candid like that's honest right now. Yeah, but but but yeah, do you not 

[00:25:29] Eldar: do you not do you not have the same ability to appreciate the Honesty in the moment and the moment that has pure honesty as 

[00:25:36] Toliy: much as I do. No, no No, I'm like appreciating it now I'm saying, but I'm saying that like, um, like he's saying that now, right?

But if he felt that way in a lot of those moments, he would give himself the ability to uh, to learn 

[00:25:51] Eldar: I actually think that this is I think maybe okay if this podcast or this type of time Right allows him to be him true his true self. That's inside of him Like 

[00:26:01] Toliy: I tell you man, I'm saying though if he did that like if yeah, if I felt How he felt most of the time, or like, a good amount more of the time, he would give himself the ability to learn a lot more.

So is it 

[00:26:15] Eldar: just a matter of time then? That the eagle breaks? Eagle can't stand time? Well, unless they can put it on the side and truth and truth is usually within Not within the confines of illusionary of time illusion of time 

[00:26:32] Toliy: Yeah that that's why I always think that like for you to Overcome like what you need to overcome for you to like get over the hill on whatever that that thing is You need to as much as possible put yourself in a vulnerable states 

[00:26:50] Eldar: agreed I agree, but that's next level again you yes, it's a right advice But it's a hard one to take.

Yeah. I like it. Kaz, are you following the conversation about ego? No. Your example, your example of this, Kaz, you know, you came to me two days ago, or yesterday, you said this to me, you said, Welder, after hearing Tommy's story, I'm a lot more grateful for my life. Yeah. That moment right there, of being able, having the ability to be grateful, right, is putting down your ego, your pride, right, and acknowledging the reality and the truth of the matter, right?

You said, hey. I'm, okay. All right. I didn't I don't have this. I don't have that. I didn't do this This didn't happen to me and you acknowledge those things and you enjoy that moment for yourself. 

[00:27:37] Tolis: Yeah. Sure. This is ego 

[00:27:39] Eldar: No, that's not ego. 

[00:27:41] Tolis: That's not ego. 

[00:27:41] Eldar: That's not ego. The ego is the part that doesn't recognize these things Doesn't see things for what they are and that's why it Has that suffering built in in it,

right? 

[00:27:55] Tolis: Yeah, right. 

[00:27:56] Eldar: Okay, 

[00:27:56] Tolis: but my ego is in a very bad level. 

[00:28:00] Eldar: Really? You have a big ego. 

[00:28:01] Tolis: Yeah, you came 

in today saying you were fixed, 

[00:28:03] Eldar: bro. 

[00:28:04] Tolis: Tell 

[00:28:05] Eldar: me about it. What's big about it? And why is it so big? 

[00:28:10] Tolis: I don't like people to correct me. So this must be bad. So you're really not enjoying your time with me because I'm correcting you constantly.

Me too. I can't say nothing work. You, you are my mentor, you know? Oh, damn. I have just like to, you know, what to swallow it. Swallow it. 

[00:28:31] Eldar: Yeah. No, you know what? Sure. You can swallow it, but have I presented anything that you wanted to kind of rebuttal or you want it to fight back? Because I, I'm not sure if I'm ever wrong, you know, you told me this.

Yeah. So then you have nothing. And this is the, this is the humbling part. 

[00:28:47] Tolis: No, this is the worst thing that I have, like, uh, uh, to fight against you. Oh, I hate this. You don't like this. People that think they know everything. Yeah. And they're always like, uh, you know, 

yeah, 

[00:29:07] Tolis: but I do that also, you know, I don't like people to correct me even today.

Yeah. 

[00:29:13] Tolis: If you, if you tell me right now, like, uh, what do you remember of your day? 

[00:29:17] Eldar: Yeah. You're going to remember those moments. 

[00:29:20] Tolis: You know what? I remember 

[00:29:21] Eldar: Uhhuh , 

[00:29:22] Tolis: like very like 

[00:29:23] Eldar (2): big 

[00:29:24] Tolis: intense. Yeah. 

[00:29:25] Eldar: Which 

[00:29:25] Tolis: one? When we walk the dogs. 

[00:29:28] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[00:29:29] Tolis: And you told me about the le the lease. 

[00:29:31] Eldar: Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. How to do it. 

[00:29:36] Tolis: I only remember this like very 

[00:29:38] Eldar: You are angry.

Yeah, but isn't it a good technique? Yeah. So then what's the problem? Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Because it was cor you were corrected. 

[00:29:47] Tolis: Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I can do it like, like that way. Still gonna work. 

[00:29:53] Eldar: Yeah. You want to do it your way? 

[00:29:56] Tolis: Yeah. 

[00:29:57] Eldar: Even if you look like an idiot. You don't want to look like an idiot because you want to look competent.

Yeah, but you know, it seems like you constantly looking to be competent. So nobody can tell you what to do. Right. But then when you, I give you a more competent way of doing things, you don't want to take it. 

[00:30:15] Tolis: No. 

[00:30:16] Eldar: So how does that work? 

[00:30:18] Tolis: I think that's the ego. 

[00:30:20] Eldar: You think that's the ego. 

[00:30:21] Tolis: Yeah,

[00:30:25] Eldar: sure, 

[00:30:26] Toliy: but something tells a better life is a better life if that means you're being wrong about it 

[00:30:32] Eldar: No, but you know what? You know what the way we work as humans we a lot of times model Behaviors and action and thought or whatever, right? So I'm gonna tell you right now that if he saw his friend walk the dog the wrong way and the leash gets tangled Right, and he knew how to help.

He'll use this method to show him. 

[00:30:54] Tolis: Yeah, I do that always I do that 

[00:30:56] Eldar: you see But I want that back. So what it tells me right what it tells me ego is possessive It just wants to gain the knowledge for themselves It's like they discovered it the ego has to be like I'm the first one to the to the party I found this, you know Discovery I found this knowledge.

This is mine now. It wants to be possessive. So as long as it's yours, it's okay But if it's not yours, it's bad. Yes 

[00:31:26] Tolis: Yes, a hundred percent. 

[00:31:27] Eldar: Yeah, cuz did tell me like a funny story. At 

[00:31:30] Tolis: least for myself. 

[00:31:31] Eldar: I think it's, no, it's not just you, I think it's everyone. 

[00:31:33] Tolis: Yeah. 

[00:31:34] Eldar: He did tell me a funny story. And I 

[00:31:35] Tolis: also, I like to show off, but in a smart way.

[00:31:39] Eldar: In a smart way. 

[00:31:41] Tolis: Like for example, When 

[00:31:42] Eldar: am I gonna see this cuz I've never seen, I haven't seen this in a month. 

[00:31:45] Tolis: I can't do, I can't do that here with you guys. Way too smart guys. 

[00:31:48] Toliy: Yeah. That doesn't work. But what, what's an example of it? Like 

[00:31:51] Tolis: an example, like, uh, if a friend of mine will tell me like, uh, You know, uh, tomorrow come to my house, uh, to fix like, uh, something in the computer, right?

A program, all right? Because he doesn't know how to do that. And obviously he, he's saying like, come here so we're gonna figure out together. You don't know either. 

[00:32:13] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[00:32:13] Tolis: All right? Okay. You, you like that stuff, so maybe you're gonna Figure out faster. Yeah, you're gonna find faster, yeah. So what I do Mm hmm.

Last night I will do the research. I will do the research. You break your computer. Alright? Yeah. I will do the research. Yeah. I go tomorrow. 

Yeah. 

[00:32:31] Tolis: And the first time that I, I'm gonna do. 

Uh huh. 

[00:32:33] Tolis: I'm gonna make a story. Uh huh. An alibi. Yeah. For me. Okay. So I didn't do the research. I will tell you that yesterday I was very busy.

I was with that girl. What? I was eating pizza. Yeah. Then I fell asleep. Yeah. And we're gonna sit. Yeah. To fix the problem. I'm going to go like, 

[00:32:54] Eldar: Oh shit, like you're a brilliant guy. I'm 

[00:32:56] Tolis: a brilliant guy, man. 

[00:32:57] Eldar: Wow. Thank you for sharing that. That's so sick. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:33:00] Tolis: I do that. That's a good example. Yeah. But I do that.

I was eating pizza. 

[00:33:07] Toliy: I was asleep. 

[00:33:07] Tolis: Yeah. I like to show off, you know, to be the smart guy in the room. You know, 

[00:33:13] Eldar: what does that give you? Like, what does that person give you in return that you like it so 

[00:33:19] Toliy: much? [00:33:20] How about this? The more that you, the more that you could be the smart guy in front of others, the longer you could be the dumb guy on your own, 

[00:33:28] Eldar: which is pleasant, but it's 

[00:33:31] Toliy: not, no, but like it, when you're alone, it's completely different.

Yes, I agree with that. Right. Yes. So the longer others in public view you as competent, the longer you yourself can extend. Your attachments and your egos to be dumb. 

[00:33:52] Eldar: Okay. Yes, you're right about that 

[00:33:53] Toliy: The the less people view you this kind of way, that's right. Like for example us. Yeah, we have zero of that Yeah, 

yeah, yeah, 

[00:34:00] Toliy: right view him in that kind of way.

Yeah 

[00:34:02] Toliy: So he's forced to to to like squeeze out his dumb dumbness and and bring that out 

Yeah, 

[00:34:08] Toliy: and work on that pretty much like it's like a pressure Being being being like like put on right? Yeah, but when you're around like other people you have walls to all that No, no, no one sees any 

[00:34:20] Eldar: no one sees it Any of your real you know self 

[00:34:24] Toliy: and the more people view you this kind of way though the longer it extends your time Alone of being done with yourself and to yourself.

Yeah, 

[00:34:32] Toliy: right because Like, you, um, you preserve that, I think, for longer, if others view you as competent. Mmm. You're fueling the ego. It's the ego's ploy, right? Yeah. The 

[00:34:44] Eldar: ego fuels itself. It wants to survive as long as possible. 

[00:34:47] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:34:49] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, almost sounds like it's a vindictive, like a evil plot, but it's not.

[00:34:57] Toliy: But I don't like talking about it, though, it's like, it's like a, like it's not you. It's part of you. For sure. It's part of you. 

[00:35:05] Eldar: Because, no, the reason why I'm saying it's not in totality is you, right? Because we see examples where it's removed or it's on the break or it's in the timeout or it's For the moment, it's not there.

It's not working, right? Because you've hit that logical stance where, like you said, you can't fight this. Like, it has no reasoning there. It cannot go to that realm. 

[00:35:26] Toliy: Yeah, but I feel like, like, everyone on, like, all different topics has, like, breakpoints about that at, like, at, at, at, like, certain points, right?

Which is good. So, yeah, like, I think that, like, we can only talk about it, like, in pre present moments. Otherwise, it's gonna be, like Always a thing where where it's like no, but there's some times where you don't have it but if it's like something that like heavily rules your life, like if it's in that extreme form then like Like, I feel like it's hard talking about it, not in its present form.

So, cause 

[00:35:59] Eldar: who's giving you the energy after you've created this little scene or scenario, a movie that you played out. Right. Where do you get the energy from? Like, where do you get the good energy where you feel good about yourself from? Um, the person's or yourself? 

Myself. Always from the person. No, myself.

[00:36:17] Eldar: No. Whoa, whoa. 

Okay. So how can I be from the self? It's not true. 

[00:36:20] Tolis: No, my, my friend will not care. He got his. What he wanted fixed. 

[00:36:27] Toliy: No, no, no, no, he doesn't care. No, he won't say. Oh, yeah. Congratulations to 

[00:36:31] Tolis: show off I, I show off, like, to myself. It's impossible. That's impossible. Yeah. 

[00:36:37] Toliy: No. What? You stand in the mirror and show off to yourself?

Do you, do you, do you have an imaginary friend? Can you recreate this scenario by yourself? Without another person involved? No way. 

[00:36:49] Tolis: I'm trying to convince myself that I'm a smart guy. 

[00:36:52] Toliy: No. Mm hmm. No. You are trying to extract a feeling from somebody else that you can't create yourself, that that's what you want.

That's why you need someone to show off too, so that like, something that you're doing makes them feel and act a particular way that gets then thrown back at you, and then you get a feeling from that. You know why? 

[00:37:12] Eldar: Because you can't trick yourself.

Yeah. 

[00:37:18] Tolis: Maybe. 

Yeah. Maybe you're right. Uh huh. I'm positive, Tolis. 

[00:37:25] Tolis: Yeah. I don't really think about these things. Well. I never did a thinking about this. 

[00:37:31] Eldar: But that's good that you're thinking about it now. You, you, you explained it to us. We understand why you do what you do. Yeah. Right? You don't 

[00:37:38] Toliy: gel your hair before you go to sleep, right?

[00:37:41] Eldar: Oh my god. 

No. 

[00:37:43] Toliy: No. You know why? You gel your hair, you put on cologne, you, you shower, all that, right? Because you go out to the world. You want to know, you don't want to look bad, you don't want to smell bad. You don't want to, um, others to think that you're dumb. Like, all, all, all of those things is how people feel towards the outside world.

But if they're If they're able to, like, get particular energy from that, they feel particular ways. 

[00:38:10] Eldar: So, would you say that no evaluation is going to be needed if a person gels their hair before they go to sleep? You just admit them straight to the mental hospital? 

[00:38:19] Toliy: If they gel their hair before they go to sleep?

[00:38:21] Eldar: Yeah. Send them straight to the mental hospital. 

[00:38:23] Toliy: No, they should get a bent amount of, like, respect. It's like they're like, that should be 

[00:38:30] Eldar: admired. Should we start this trend? Why don't we start getting ready, like we're going out, but go to bed instead. Huh? Harris, you want to do that or no? No. Why? That's stupid, man.

Why? What if you meet somebody while you're asleep? What the fuck is wrong with you? You're 

meeting someone while you're asleep, man. But Tony 

[00:38:53] Eldar: has a 

good point here. Ah, fuck you, man. Why don't you do your hair before you go to bed? What is wrong with you, man? That's stupid, man. It's just gonna get fucked up.

Alright, well what if you meet somebody? What if somebody walks in in the night and you gotta be ready? Someone breaking into my house and I meet someone? Yeah, so 

[00:39:13] Eldar: it's 

very 

[00:39:13] Eldar: interesting.

Yeah, we're just, I think we talked about this and I think that ego also, right, aside from being possessive and wanting to be the first person to the party and discovering all the cool knowledge and truth, it also needs company. All right, that sounds like it needs company and validation. Well, because you like try to play out egotistical moments, right?

Mm hmm. No, when you buy yourself, yeah, you pick your you pick your nose You smell your own farts You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you get shit in your hand when you fucking wipe your ass Sometimes. Oh my god. Yes, exactly. You know, depending on how you wipe your ass. We're not gonna talk about that.

Totally. What the fuck? What's the point of that? You, man. Whoa. You understand? Yeah. You're embarrassing as shit. Yeah. You're farting up a storm underneath the fucking blanket that you're sleeping on. Right? Those are good. Good flavor you hide you scared because you throw the blanket over here 

girl. You know, why are you farting?

Right, 

[00:40:18] Eldar: all these things right when we're alone. We're nasty. Mm 

[00:40:24] Toliy: hmm We're like imagine if like yeah, like like imagine me toes Oh, they're me and Mike are just staring at you while you drive to Lincoln grill and get five empanadas drive straight home I don't With this 

guy I haven't had the empanadas in months, man.

They're killer. They weren't killer last time, man. Unacceptable. 

[00:40:43] Eldar: So, ego is really a social creature? Like, the way I was thinking about it, um, You know, like, there's a self preservation mechanism, right? That's built into all of us? Mm hmm. You heard about this? Well, yeah. Yeah, of course. With our body, right?

Fight and flight. Fight or flight if you can't breathe on the water you come up. Yeah, there's a mental. There's a physical manifestation of Preservation of preservation and the ego is a development thing. There's a developed thing. Yeah Mm hmm 

[00:41:12] Tolis: that 

[00:41:13] Eldar: I think is developed. I don't think it's innate in us It's something that we develop as a preservation mechanism because every time Every every example that I'm thinking about with ego It's to combat the inability to see the reality and to face the reality.

So it's something to protect the trauma Right. So instead of a physical trauma, 

[00:41:34] Eldar (2): what 

[00:41:36] Eldar: from what, what, what trauma, uh, some realities, trauma, 

[00:41:41] Toliy: reality, or inability to understand things. Yeah. Like I, I, I a hundred percent agree that it's a like learned behavior. It's not like innate. Well, like, I mean, it's innate, but it's, it's a skill that we have, right?

But I feel like it happens because like, like a, a, a, a very like common, common longstanding, like just like saying, is that like the truth hurts, right? Or like the truth is hard. Yeah. Right. Which is like in, in, in face value, it's not like, it's just a truth, right? It just, what is right. Yeah. But nobody here is like, Um, born into like just straight truth and everything being correct.

We're, we're born to understand particular things, process a particular way, act a certain way, think a certain way based on the environments that we're in and the influences that we have by our families, by whatever TV, by, by everything, right? So from all that, from all that, like no one gives yourself, no one gives you the speech beforehand saying like, Hey.

Like, look, uh, like, three year old or four year old version of you, right? Like, you're about to endure on, like, a long journey of, like, uh, learning a bunch of things, right? And before you take all these tickets of things that you believe in or feel, be very careful when doing so, right? Because You're going to believe these things for a very long time once you accept them.

Like no, like no one gives you that speech before they give you the information. You're, you're just given the information from your parents, from whoever around you, whichever environment that you're in. Right. And then you want to, and, and, and then as you get older, then as you get older, you're like, inevitably going to face moments of like you of, of universal truth, right?

And if you so happen to not align with it, right. It's going to be difficult to face, or it's going to be difficult to understand. It's going to be difficult to, to come to term, to terms with order to face, which is why you're The learned behavior of your ego to preserve like it's a It's a battle between like your perceived truth and the and the truth That's that's what it always is like you actually have a a truth You you like you think you have a truth and that truth needs to be protected disproved Yeah, and and also the feeling of you being incorrect about it Like how that plate is out and you being wrong about that and everything that you've ever thought about or done when it comes to That has to be protected as well.

It only because you 

[00:44:21] Eldar: have 

[00:44:21] Toliy: attachment 

[00:44:23] Eldar: But yeah, what um, what made me think about when you were saying this It sounds like the ego is developed in a young like a very young age Very young when we're not old enough to communicate or our parents are not in like able to understand what we're saying And we get ham hugged, because in childhood we get ham hugged a lot.

No, like, like, 

[00:44:43] Toliy: you're, you get put in a situation where nobody tells you the rules of engagement, but they, but they throw you into the game. And they start telling you things, right? But they don't give you the heads up of like, hey. I'm about to give you feedback on a bunch of things. There's a chance I could be wrong about, like, all of them, so be careful.

They, they just, once your mind starts to have the ability to, like, think a little bit, you get thrown into a game without being told what the rules are first, or how things work, or what are your possible, like, Like, uh, like what are the warnings, right? No one gives you that. They just give you information, and then you accept that information.

Okay. 

[00:45:22] Toliy: Like, like, like that, that happens first, and then the process of being potentially wrong, then that happens. But if you're, like I don't know if you would need to have all that if you get right away, like, born into the right situation, raised the right way. How does that look like? Yeah, I don't know, I, I, I have not seen that.

[00:45:43] Eldar: It's a perpetual cycle, chicken and egg thing, right? How can the parents teach the kids if they don't know any better, right? Like, uh Yeah. They're working with limited understanding of The proper way to then, then, then what you're saying is, then what you're saying is right. If the parents not necessarily able to pass down something that they don't know themselves, should those people be parents?

[00:46:07] Toliy: Amen. There would be no population. 

[00:46:11] Eldar: But who would it be then? But the thing is, this is the long cut, 

you know? Oh nice, totties. 

[00:46:24] Eldar: I think this is the part of, uh, of the evolution of people where Is ego reproducing itself because it's scared? Ego is driven out of fear, yeah. So I feel like everything is either like, like, I don't know, two things.

It's either good, bad, evil, fear. Or you know strength like it's always that and I think a lot of things are driven from either Just those two things and I think ego is gonna be driven out of fear because it's driven from ignorance So it's gonna act irrationally is gonna behave irrationally and then the person is gonna behave that way, too Yes, cuz it's not supposed to be logical.

You have something on your mind. No, I am really 

[00:47:17] Tolis: What can I do? To stop that, like, to get bothered when someone, somebody wants to correct me. 

[00:47:29] Eldar: You probably have to understand it for what it is. See it for what it is, right? Did I correct you today for what reason? To hurt you or to help you? To help me. So then what it is?

Why 

[00:47:40] Tolis: I'm getting angry about that. 

[00:47:42] Eldar: Well, because you have those little things. You want to be right. Yeah, you want to be right. You want to be competent. You don't, you know. This is like you've attached yourself to that identity and because you have attached yourself to that identity all the good stuff gets labeled as bad because it's not pertaining to that thing.

You value this as the most important thing in your life. That's why. 

What, you don't realize? Which 

[00:48:03] Eldar: is, which is, you've attached yourself, you have attachment and all suffering, you know, as per Buddhists. They say that the reason why we're suffering is because we have attachments. 

What you don't realize is we're going through the same shit and I'm nuts.

But that would be very good. 

[00:48:20] Tolis: Tom Harris. What do you mean same shit? Explain your 

We're all, we're all battling our ego. And if, what it sounds like to me, is you're having trouble with the same shit I'm having trouble with. 

[00:48:31] Tolis: Wow. Yeah, that's one part. 

Well, there's different parts, but guess what? We're ego brothers.

We're battling that motherfucker. He's the evil twin, you understand? Your ego is your evil twin. 

[00:48:45] Tolis: Your ego. Yeah, but there's no way you really think that you're smart than other people. 

I never said I'm smarter than other people, but it's an eagle. Why not an ego? You understand that? 

[00:48:58] Tolis: You don't have the ego 

wants you to always be right.

Okay. You don't wanna be corrected. 

[00:49:07] Tolis: You do that also, 

weren't you not listening to the whole fucking beginning of the podcast, bro? 

[00:49:13] Eldar: Every sorry to, I have to tell you something. You're not special. Everybody that is alive Yeah. Is going through the same shit that you went through. 

Didn't we just talk about by a problem with this and 

[00:49:26] Tolis: podcast?

He's not speaking English. Yeah, I'm trying to understand, but it's hard for me to understand everything, man. 

He's saying. You're going through the same problem with the ego. He said he dissed Harris, like, hard. He said, do you think that you're actually smarter than somebody else? Yeah, like, dude, what the fuck?

But what he doesn't get is, at the beginning of the podcast, you asked me the same question. I was describing the same thing he's going through. Correct. I know 100 percent this. And he's not understanding. Yeah. What are you talking about? That's okay. And then he said, he basically confirmed, you're a dumb son of a bitch.

Do you think you're smarter than other people? Yeah. That's [00:50:00] fucked up, man. You're supposed to be my brother. 

[00:50:01] Eldar: Yeah, man. That is what makes a difference between you and him. He considers you his brother. Yeah. And you consider him as an ogre. And that's why he's smarter than you. Yeah, you come in 

here and you go, you know, he comes in here, he comes in here and goes, Oh, you're my brother.

Good to see you, my brother. He lying. Yeah, yeah, I know he's lying. Cuz. He doesn't consider me a brother, man. Why do you, 

[00:50:19] Eldar: why do you, why do you want to get rid of it, cuz? Why, did you just, did you just identify that this is bad? Or this is a good thing, bad thing? 

[00:50:26] Tolis: I don't know if it's bad or good, but I just can't take 

[00:50:30] Eldar: it.

You can't take it anymore. I just 

[00:50:32] Tolis: can't take it. Like, Oh no, I can't just take it. Like people correct me. I just can't take it. 

[00:50:37] Eldar: No, no. I'm saying, what do you want to correct? The ego part that you're doing with your friend? Were you making stuff up? To look smart, that what you want to correct, or you want to correct something else?

[00:50:47] Tolis: I want to just be okay when people trying to help me, correct me about something, maybe like show me an easier way, easier way like to do that. But do 

[00:50:57] Eldar: you see how it's tied to that example that you've made, that you actually want to be the smartest person in the room? It is tied. Those two things are tied.

[00:51:05] Tolis: Yeah Because one guy once told like the sexiest thing in the entire world is to be really smart 

[00:51:15] Eldar: The sexiest the sexiest who told you this? Huh? Who told you this? What was the name? 

[00:51:23] Tolis: Ashton. 

[00:51:23] Eldar: Ashton what? Ashton 

[00:51:24] Tolis: Kutcher? Yeah. 

[00:51:25] Eldar: Okay, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna reach out to him. He's an idiot. 

[00:51:28] Tolis: He, he, he, he did a speech, I saw a speech, like, uh, I, I, I think ten years ago.

Okay. Actually, your sister, like, uploaded that story. Uh 

[00:51:36] Eldar: oh, then I'm gonna go get to my sister. Okay. Wow, you remember this? 

[00:51:40] Tolis: Yeah. Holy shit. I remember that thing. Yeah. He said the sexiest thing in the entire world is to be real smart. Everything else is crap. Do you feel sexy when I'm s No, 

[00:51:55] Toliy: but I, no, but did he say that sexiest thing is to be smart or to be the smartest person in, in, in, in the room?

Because the second time you said that, he said that it was the sexiest thing to be smart 

[00:52:09] Tolis: in the entire Yeah. The sexiest thing in the entire world. Yeah. In general. Yeah. 

[00:52:12] Toliy: It's to be smart. Mm-hmm

[00:52:17] Eldar: And you interpreted that and took it in. 

[00:52:20] Tolis: Yeah. I think it was like around 10 years ago or something. 

[00:52:23] Eldar: Yeah. Uhhuh . No, 

[00:52:24] Toliy: but like, why, why, why is that a bad thing? 

[00:52:26] Eldar: So why do you think it's a bad thing? 

[00:52:30] Tolis: Because I'm not smart. 

[00:52:34] Eldar: Well, what do you, what do you mean? Because it's interpreted incorrectly. You can't say those words without explaining what your definition of what you mean by being smart.

[00:52:43] Tolis: I told you, like, I'm doing your research. I'm not 

[00:52:46] Eldar (3): like, 

[00:52:48] Eldar: he's interpreting it the way he wants to interpret it. 

[00:52:50] Eldar (3): Like, 

[00:52:51] Eldar: and then he's using that to, to 

[00:52:53] Toliy: me, there's two different, like, if you're interpreting is that it is that that's the best thing to feel that way, like in a particular setting or like, if, if, if we want to say room.

Right. Now you're asking for definitions. No, no, but I'm saying that, like, if you're thinking that, then yes, that's very bad. But if you're thinking it as just, like, the best thing, for example, is to be smart. And you define, like, I think we all want to, that, like, we probably all agree with that. That, like, the best thing is to be, like, to, like, properly understand things, right, on, like, 

[00:53:26] Eldar: Oh, you're not saying smart.

What? I think, I think society defines smart in a very particular way. No, but, you know what I'm saying? I think it's tied to something he said before. I don't know if he said it to you guys or, um, when it was, but he wants to present a perfect image and I think a person who's smart doesn't make mistakes, he's perfect.

And I think, uh, is that tied to it? It's everything. It's 

[00:53:51] Tolis: everything. Not only smart, like, good looking also. Like, my style is always like On point. On point. Yeah. Everything.

[00:54:08] Toliy: Yeah. But, but, but see, it's like a, um, I think it's also a very, uh, funny, uh, cycle that happens, right? 

Yeah. 

[00:54:16] Toliy: Like. People want others to feel this way about them, right? And they think that this is what's happening, right? 

Yeah. 

[00:54:24] Toliy: But what if those people on the inside's like, Tulsa, dumbass. Yeah. But they don't voice it.

Of course. Of course. Now, now, now it's like, The illusion, the illusion is created by you. Yeah, one person is thinking that, Yeah. This guy thinks that I'm very smart. Yes. And the other person's like, He's an idiot, but I'm not saying anything. Plus, I don't even care if he's smart. Yeah, like, One person is thinking that, like, This is what people feel.

But oftentimes, People are not honest about how they feel. 

[00:54:49] Eldar (2): Yes, they're not. Yeah, it's true, right? So you know 

[00:54:54] Toliy: what's happening actually 

[00:54:56] Eldar: an illusion Yeah, an illusion cuz you become a magician you have the ability to trick yourself really well And I'm start believing that you could put that on your resume as your trait.

I'm the best at tricking myself I'm the best magician in the world.

Yeah, but what you want to trick others is not working so well, right? Well, the thing is the fuel that you get is not actually everlasting. 

[00:55:27] Tolis: Yeah, 

[00:55:28] Eldar: you can never get enough fuel from it's impossible Like a bad evil negative. It's impossible as much as you can from good. Correct. It's impossible. It's impossible Because it's a possibility deep down.

You know that it's bullshit. It's a yes. There's nothing there's no yes 

[00:55:42] Tolis: And and trying to be all this the perfect guy is exhausting very exhausting 

[00:55:48] Eldar: That's it starting Monday and I come to work and I can't do this 

[00:55:53] Tolis: and I can't take it 

[00:55:55] Eldar: anymore 

[00:55:55] Tolis: It's a very exhausting, but Monday you be a perfect guy smartest guy yeah to be the most good looking guy to have Everything.

The biggest baloney. Baloney. Did you have the 

[00:56:09] Eldar: surgery or no?

[00:56:14] Tolis: Ah, 

[00:56:18] Eldar (3): yeah. 

[00:56:19] Tolis: It's very exhausting. 

[00:56:21] Eldar (3): You're convinced of this.

[00:56:27] Tolis: I want to be this to be real. Which. If I'm smart. 

[00:56:31] Eldar: Which. Yeah. He wants to be actually smart. 

[00:56:33] Tolis: I want to be actually smart. If I'm like good looking, I want to be actually good looking. Try to be. But 

[00:56:38] Eldar: do you realize that being smart is not in the place where you were doing it?

[00:56:45] Tolis: What do you mean? Uh, so. 

[00:56:46] Eldar: Like, whatever you were doing, that's not being smart. Right, it's pretending to be smart, like you said, right, for a very long time, right? So I knew that 

[00:56:57] Tolis: in that, in that time, I knew that. Oh, you 

[00:56:59] Eldar: did know that? 

[00:57:00] Tolis: Yeah, always knew that. So when did you start? Why, why did you, why did you like?

It was good. It was a good feeling, like. You're tricking people? Yeah, that I'm smart. 

[00:57:12] Eldar: When did you, like, learn, like, when did you decide that, like, you're gonna start tricking people, like, like you said, Oh, I'm gonna just trick them, like, you had that kind of a feeling? Low self esteem. No, 

[00:57:22] Toliy: I think that, like, You don't fall into, you don't choose that kind of thing.

If you can't, like, actually be smart or feel smart, like, and actually do, like, So you, you know, like, how do you, how do 

[00:57:32] Eldar: you, how do you birth the idea 

[00:57:34] Toliy: of, I'm gonna trick them into it? Well, well, I'm not, well, like, You have to trick them out of it because like I think people innately in in just the act of life They're competitive, right?

Okay, and The ego competition is a big ongoing competition Right? So it's like, if he's competitive, then he like, he has to, for example, come up with these things. 

[00:58:03] Eldar: Well, then you'd thrown another thing into it, you know, the variable into it, competitiveness. 

[00:58:07] Tolis: No, and also my mom says I'm a loser and stupid, so 

[00:58:11] Eldar: That helps drive it.

Maybe. Mmm, that definitely is a good kicker. But it doesn't. Where, Mike, explain to me where did he decide that he's like, I know that this is not really smart stuff that I'm about to do, but I can do it in such a way that I can trick them and look smart and still get the benefits. When you get like put down a lot like when others 

[00:58:35] Toliy: are like yeah 

[00:58:35] Eldar: and secure Yeah, 

[00:58:36] Toliy: like when other driver 

[00:58:38] Eldar: so that you're saying that the mom situation is correct Well, his mom is putting him down saying you lose it.

You don't know nothing, right? He has to come up with a ploy where somewhere he knows something. Yeah. Yeah hundred percent. 

Yeah, 

[00:58:51] Eldar: but because he Because the ego doesn't want to look for the long cut. It wants to look for the shortcut 

Yeah, 

[00:58:57] Eldar: he's always gonna try to present the image of being perfect successful smart.

You're gonna Instead of actually doing working towards that why why yeah, isn't Should the ego be a little bit smarter to know that soon? It's gonna end the Because that's why you cannot the evil cannot use good for its own benefit. Yes. That's a very good fucking statement Hold on one second. Hold on one second.

That's a fucking t shirt. You have a lot of t shirts to make man evil Cannot use the good the 

good 

[00:59:29] Eldar: for its own benefit. 

Yeah, you have a lot of t shirts to make man Hurry up, man. Why is waiting you're falling behind. 

[00:59:36] Eldar: This is episode 56 motherfuckers 

You got a quote from me. You got a quote from totally you got a quote from mike.

I deleted all your quotes What the hell man? 

[00:59:45] Eldar: That's fucked up. You deleted 

my good quote. 

[00:59:48] Eldar: You know what I did. I just summoned your ego. Hi Huh? I told him, I said, the 

ego's like an evil twin that popped out, man. You see? 

[00:59:56] Eldar: Hi. How you doing ego? Fuck you, man. Alright, cool. I deleted all your quotes. 

Fuck you,

Thanks. That's fucked up, man. I had one good quote. You . Can you put that on, on, on the shirt? Yeah, of course. I had one Good quote. When are you gonna start making, uh oh, fuck you, uh, merch, man. When you stop asking. 

[01:00:15] Eldar: Oh, that's fucked up, man. That's 

fucked 

[01:00:17] Eldar: up. Yeah, Mike. Mm-hmm . That's a very good point. I can't it's so fucking dumb.

Yeah, like a criminal can only think in criminal ways That's so sick, that's so sick, yeah, and I think that's that's why it's uh, Yeah, there's it's actually they have there's a conversation. I I don't remember it fully but in the republic There's a conversation about about something like this. Really? Yes.

All right. Here we go. We resurrecting people Yeah, it's something about People, uh, something about deceiving people, I'll find it. But I don't remember. Uh huh. People cannot, uh, you cannot use the truth. Something about people cannot voluntarily be deceived. Uh huh. They can only be deceived like, uh By participation!

Something like that. I don't remember. Holy fuck! You're fucking right! Yeah, I'll find it. I'll have to listen to it. Yo, that's a fucking sick thing. You're 100 percent right. I just thought about it. I was like, yeah, people have to be willing participants in order to be tricked. 

Yeah, 

[01:01:25] Eldar: that is a very interesting thing.

Yeah, I'm not sure if that was the thing I was like, thinking about, but Yeah, they almost have to sign up for it. Yeah, 

that's for sure too. 

[01:01:36] Toliy: Harris, I just made sure the fortress that Harris is in and, and around his house, everywhere is like, welcome signs to be tricked. Like, hey, I'm willing, 

I'm willing, I'm willing.

[01:01:47] Eldar: Yo, fuck you, man. That's a good thing he's saying, man. Wow. Ah, fuck. So? Ego is stupid, but it's 

[01:02:00] Toliy: but nonetheless it works. Yeah, I feel like Like overall, it's probably like a bad thing. Oh Overall, right like if you were to judge Yeah, if you were to judge it from something from like a place of understanding of what it is, right?

But in the place of not understanding that it's it's a good thing. It's it's a tool Like like maybe you need to have the ego flare up and you need to have that I'm not having that kind of pain To build the resilience maybe one day eventually have the pain and and and go like through it like like does it build?

Okay. Okay. 

[01:02:36] Eldar: So then you almost 

[01:02:36] Toliy: saying that look 

[01:02:38] Eldar: black but then the way it's 

[01:02:39] Toliy: made ignorance is bliss Yeah, like cuz always says like he's looking for the next door to open Yes, right and I feel like for you to level up And some like in, in these different good things about life, there are certain things you need to leave out the door for the door knob to like, to open.

Right. And like, oftentimes in like, like, like the act of like, uh, learning, right. What do you need to leave at the door? You need to leave your ego at the door. You need to like come a particular way and like, uh, um, act in a particular way. Right. Um, and then that door opens. Right. But if you're not willing to leave that stuff at the door.

And you're wanting to hold on to it, that door is going to be closed forever, for as long as it takes for you to leave what you need to leave at the door, so that you can go to the next door, and then you need to leave certain stuff there before the next, at that next door, right? And that, and that's the continuous, like, evolution of life, of you needing to let go of particular things, so that you can level up, so that you have a, like a, uh, innate desire to, like, learn, and not an innate desire to be right, you know?

[01:03:46] Eldar (2): Mm 

[01:03:47] Eldar: hmm. 

[01:03:47] Toliy: Cause. 

[01:03:49] Eldar: You a fuckin Neanderthal. You're caveman cause you know,

[01:04:00] Tolis: you have you guys have to destroy my ego Because because that's profound right because I can't fight you back, you know, yeah Yeah, you got i'm just like, you know, i'm just powerless against you. So, you know So you just have to destroy my ego because if you don't do that with all this like Bullying. Yeah that i'm getting right now.

Yeah, if I go back it will be like I will destroy the world. I will destroy the 

[01:04:33] Toliy: world. I'm gonna be on another level. You need to extract everything that Cuzz just said in a sentence. I want it to be like a, can you set it up with the door that every time Harris goes in and out of his office He clicks the button and it goes off.

As soon as he enters in and out, only detected to him, this message plays. Fuck you, man.

You got a good one. That was a good one. Can you imagine that? Every single time it's a him only, like he goes 

[01:05:00] Eldar: in and out and starts saying exactly what you said. That was good. You just destroyed the ego. That was profound. That was profound. Yeah, but the funny part is, is that It can only be destroyed if you allow us.

[01:05:17] Toliy: There's no other way. Yeah. That that is a very like interesting part. Yeah. That's the part about you need to put yourself in a position where you can get hurt. Yeah. Like you have to do that. That's the only way, 

[01:05:30] Tolis: which is crazy. I'm only, I'm only hurting man. I'm only suffering. I can suffer more. No problem.

I like it. That's good. That's courage. 

[01:05:40] Tolis: But, or she's dead. I don't know the way you can. Do that to me, you know, I mean, but not to be a pussy, you know, I want to be like a coward. I want to be like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, 

[01:05:52] Eldar: no. I think that, well, you wait 

[01:05:55] Tolis: and having my way, you see, but the ego 

[01:05:57] Eldar: again is playing its role.

It's under the impression that you're going to be a pussy. No, no, no. That the people that are trying to do this are trying to make you into a slave versus actually empower you to be your own leader in your own boss. Right? And in, and in turn be attracted by many other people because you know your shit, but the ego is set up in such a way where it's like, nah, they're trying to hurt you to make you a fucking even smaller than you are right now, which is crazy, but that's because the ego is smart, but it's dumb.

It's a paradoxical phenomenon. It's the more you think, the more you think about it, the dumber it is, [01:06:40] the less you think about it, the stronger it is, the more props you give it. Yeah. That's how it is, you know, everything like this, everything, this is paradoxical. I'm like, you said in the beginning, uh, somebody said is I'm not even sure if the ego is this.

So who said this? Yeah. The beginning. Yeah. We said that. Yeah. I'm not sure if anything like this exists. Yeah. I think it's all just, it's illusions. It's all illusions. It's all illusion. Yeah. Yeah. It's all ignorance. Yeah. But 

[01:07:06] Tolis: a leader has to have like a strong ego, right? A good leader. No, he can't like, 

[01:07:16] Eldar: yeah.

Stand. Well, I think that we talked about this, that there's a thin line between confidence and ego. Yeah. You know what, what, what the, the perception of what he's referring to is as an individual who has the ability to use and manipulate ego to his advantage in order to make something. Yes, this is, yeah, he's good.

No, he doesn't understand this consciously. Yeah, you're bad cuz. 

[01:07:47] Tolis: I'm good or bad. 

[01:07:49] Eldar: You're stupid cuz. You're good and bad at the same time. Yeah. Paradox. Yes. Yes.

That was interesting. 

[01:08:00] Toliy: Yeah, I think that like, if you, if like, if you're carrying the truth and you actually consciously understand that you are, I think in like any conversation, you'll always yell, like you will always be the loudest. Yeah. Like you can't out. Like, uh, beat that, but you actually are whispering.

No, I 

[01:08:26] Tolis: didn't get it. 

You didn't, you have to explain it. You have to explain the paradox. To you, 

[01:08:30] Eldar: the way you feel when you're being egotistical, you feel the strongest, but actually you're being the weakest. You're the biggest pussy. 

Yeah. 

[01:08:38] Eldar: But you feel like the biggest dick. You are fucking like, you know, 

King Malacca.

It's a paradox. 

[01:08:45] Eldar: Yeah, and it's and it's alright Yeah, you know and the time when you actually know something like totally says if you actually carry the truth And you know it and you're able to speak it and say it that is the loudest you can be Mm hmm, but right to the naked ear Mm hmm. You're whispering.

Yeah, you're not saying anything but because the truth what carries humility You know, you know what? That's a very good question.

[01:09:19] Toliy: I dunno if the truth that carries humility. I feel like no ignorance has always canceling like a yes. Headphones, yes, but the ignorance lot, it has an invisibility 

[01:09:28] Eldar: cloak where, where the truth is able to, the, oh, I have to describe it, is like in words, it's very tricky. The truth is able to pass. The ego's thing.

It could be quiet and you can't even detect it. It has like an invisibility cloak. The truth is, but it carries the most amount of power. Yes. Like it's, yeah. You know. 

[01:09:51] Toliy: Yeah. The, the, okay. Here, here, here is the difference. 

[01:09:54] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:09:55] Toliy: The truth doesn't need the acknowledgement of being correct. That's right. Where the ego needs needs an acknowledgement.

Needs it. Yeah. Yes. Okay. You understand? Cause like, so if, if the truth is the truth and no one hears it, the truth doesn't give a fuck. 

[01:10:08] Eldar: Doesn't give a fuck. 

[01:10:09] Toliy: Correct. Right. But the he but the eagle will try to yell louder and louder until somebody hears it. 'cause it has an attachment. To get that feeling from somebody else.

[01:10:17] Eldar: That's right. You know, that's right. No, you got to understand 

[01:10:21] Toliy: cause 

[01:10:22] Tolis: you guys have to discuss it and tell me like to a sentence. All right. 

[01:10:27] Toliy: That's it. We said, he said, we said it like the real truth. It doesn't give a fuck whether others acknowledge it or not. If anybody 

[01:10:38] Eldar: says, Oh yeah, good job. It doesn't care.

It doesn't care about this. It doesn't want compliments. Yeah. Truth doesn't want compliments. No. 

[01:10:46] Toliy: Yeah. Um, right. Right. For example, like if, if cause. Embodies the truth. He should not give a fuck whether you go one way or the other way and when you feel that You know somebody like when you actually feel that, you know that somebody um, like like Like like I think that when you feel that you get time of day Like you you give that person the opportunity like you you start to listen to that person or give them the opportunity To say something because the real truth, it does not care one way or the right way you go through the good door or the bad door.

For example, the truth is the truth. Like it's just going to be there, right? Where the ego it needs. Acknowledgement, or it needs something from somebody else to give a feeling to you, to feel a particular way it needs it, and it will continue to scream louder and louder until it gets that acknowledgement.

[01:11:48] Tolis: Does that 

[01:11:48] Toliy: make sense? 

[01:11:48] Tolis: You mean, you talk about verification, confirmation, I always say. From someone. How 

[01:11:55] Eldar: about this? Before I forget this. Dennis Rock's podcast. 

[01:12:01] Toliy: We speak to your sleeping soul that I don't like the sleeping part. It's a little too nice. Oh Speak 

to your ego do something to your 

[01:12:14] Eldar: sleeping soul.

All right. Sorry guys. I just came to mind when he was

That's funny It

was good, I mean, yeah, but Are you sleeping or no? You agree you're sleeping? Why 

[01:12:38] Eldar: are you asleep? Because you're scared? What do you mean? You're asleep because you're scared. What do you mean asleep? I'm awake. You know what I'm talking about. No, you're not 

awake. 

[01:12:48] Eldar: Does he know what I'm talking about? No, not yet.

Okay. You ever been asleep while you're awake? Remember we talked about that thing that you have that skill where your eyes are open but you're actually sleeping? I'm not sleeping now. Not right now, sure, but you've done it before, right? Plenty of times. 

When I barely got any sleep. 

[01:13:07] Toliy: No, that's not what we're talking about, Harris.

No, when you got plenty of sleep, but you're still asleep with your eyes open. You weren't here. 

[01:13:13] Eldar: Yeah, you acknowledged it several times. I have it on video. I'm somewhere else. Yes. 

Yes. I'm awake, but I'm somewhere else. Far away. Far 

[01:13:24] Eldar: away, yes or no? Yeah. Probably drinking lots of milk. Would you say you're across the country, like far away?

Like At least to California and back, easy, right? I'm on Mars. There you go. 

Your mind is somewhere else, you can't be present. There you go. 

[01:13:38] Eldar: So, are we, are we talking to your sleeping soul? Are we trying to talk to your sleeping soul? If so At times, yeah. Why are you sleeping? 

Because you're too focused on something else.

What is that? It depends on the day, 

[01:13:51] Eldar: right? But most of the time, what are you focused on? Bullshit at home. Stress? So you're 

scared. Stress causes fear. Fear. Can't stop thinking about certain things. There you go. There you go. So you're scared. Anxiety. Okay. 

[01:14:07] Eldar: Do you realize that waking up cures fear? Yeah. 

I mean, I don't do it all the time.

Like right now, well, right now my problem is, uh, away for 10 days. Yeah. So, yeah. Oh, wow.

And my problem is away for 10 days, which is also why I came here with a smile today and all this big 

[01:14:31] Toliy: illusion. That's your problem. 

One of the problems, big problem. Leave the kid alone. Leave the kid alone. All right, fine. Let me enjoy, uh, my peace and quiet vacation, man. I'm not washing the dishes. Wait, we have to feed 

[01:14:43] Eldar: the cat every day, right?

My time on your time. I like it. I like it. You're putting your foot down. Yeah, I love it. That guy has cameras inside 

where you watch it. Yeah. First of all, he doesn't check. And second of all, the motion detected now. Sick. Literally. 

[01:15:02] Eldar: All right. So Harris, you are sleeping and you don't want to wake up. You don't want to wake up because it's kind of scary, right?

You would wake up if it wasn't scary, right? Mm hmm. Yes or no? 

Yeah, let's call it anxiety. 

[01:15:17] Eldar: Nah, like the way that others are talking 

about 

[01:15:19] Eldar: it. Fine. We can, we can, we can name, you want to name it something? 

Why you say scared, bro? It's anxiety. Why 

[01:15:28] Eldar: does he like it? Yeah, ask him. Why, why don't you like it? Scared is like, uh, 

pussy shit.

[01:15:35] Toliy: But you are being a pussy in that moment. Ah, fuck you, man. 

[01:15:40] Eldar: Right or no? Come on, why, you, you have to say it, man. Huh? You have to say it. What? Is he right? What? In that moment, are you being a pussy? 

[01:15:53] Toliy: Some people will look at that, that way. Sure. Okay. You mean some people will look at it that way. , are you being a pussy or not?

I plead the fifth. 

Why don't you want to answer it? Why does you want to answer it? What? Why does you want he's a pussy? You want me to admit? 

[01:16:09] Harris: Sure. It could be pussy like, 

[01:16:11] Eldar (2): uh, why? Why is a pussy like, '

cause 

[01:16:15] Eldar (2): you don't wanna face your problems. 

[01:16:18] Toliy: No one. No one's okay with someone else seeing them crap their pants.

No one crapped their pants 

at 

[01:16:26] Toliy: all. It's having like a bad call. Like a little version of, um, crapping your pants. Well, of course. Of course. And then it's seeing someone else watch. It's not a version of crapping your pants. 

It's more like you're balls tighten up a minute. Elder. Is he just really old and we have to 

[01:16:45] Toliy: take care of him?

Rated one through ten. Fuck yeah. Is that a sleepy fucking joke? Elder, rated one through ten. Yeah. Ten being the worst, one being the least, right? Uh huh. How bad would it be to crap your pants, doesn't matter where, but you're by yourself? One through ten. Zero. You're not necessarily at home, but like it happens.

But I can get out of the 

[01:17:09] Eldar: situation. 

[01:17:10] Toliy: Yes, but it's still like it's without anybody knowing. 

[01:17:12] Eldar: Yes. 

[01:17:12] Toliy: Yeah, it's probably zero. No, not zero. It's still a bad situation like it's like No, okay, it's dirty like oh, it's nasty, but it's not embarrassing. 

[01:17:20] Eldar: It's No, it's like a one or two. Okay, fine. Who gives a fu If, like, you guys weren't here and I know nobody's coming here and I need to take a shit and I go to the bathroom and I shit myself, cool, it's inconvenient.

Yeah, 

[01:17:31] Toliy: so it's still bad, but it's not, like, yeah. It's inconvenient, but it's not, no embarrassment or nothing. Yes, okay, now imagine you did it at, like, a dinner party or something. Yeah, 

[01:17:39] Eldar: in front of everyone. 

[01:17:40] Toliy: Yes. 

[01:17:40] Eldar: That's, like, a ten. 

[01:17:41] Toliy: Exactly. So, if you make a call and you're sitting in the office, like, alone, and no one hears you, and no one ever hears you.

Yeah, you never beat yourself up over it. It's not that bad. But if you did it in front of everybody How bad is it? 

[01:17:57] Eldar: Hey, man, I think he's on to something, dude. And that something is you. 

[01:18:00] Toliy: Well, if you're talking about it is like in, in terms of the truth, like the reality of both scenarios are, are identical.

Wait a second. One scenario has another party. 

[01:18:10] Eldar: No, no, no. But you know what? You said a very important thing here. Mike, you have to pay attention to this. You can't be sleeping. He's sleeping? He's sleeping. Get the fuck out of here. 

[01:18:18] Harris: Hey, sleepy Joe. Wake up, man. We already have 

[01:18:20] Eldar: Paris sleeping over here. Yeah. So.

Sleepy Joe. Here's a way to leverage. Ego in order to get it to start learning, not it, but in order to get the learning going, he said, introduce other people, right? Let it be embarrassing in front of someone and then the gig is up. Then you have to face the facts. When I was taking the piss just now, I said.

The way because I said, oh, I cut said I need help. I need help I don't know you can help us is that every time that you have that moment where you get angry Yes, you have to every single time you feel you have to do it. We have to always we always talked about this. Yeah 

He's literally falling asleep you have to say it if you want to help yo, you have to There's a guy he's 

[01:19:06] Eldar: hiding, and the more you let him hide, the longer you're going to 

delay it.

I'm done with this guy, man. Is he right, Kazo? No. 

[01:19:20] Tolis: I don't like when I'm thinking. Because when I'm thinking, I hate myself. I hate my life, but I hate the thing that I can't change my life right now. I don't know the way, so it makes me angry. And I just want to like Hit the wall or something. 

[01:19:40] Eldar: Okay. Mm hmm.

That's fair. But how do you know that you can't change anything? 

[01:19:46] Toliy: Well, he he believes that 

[01:19:49] Eldar: I know that we believe that but that's why I don't like well, it's fake news, bro You don't believe that and then go you do your hair and make sure you're dressed up nice. No, no, but it's momentarily exactly It's moment to momentarily.

[01:20:01] Toliy: Yeah. Right now he hates himself? No, but they, uh, like, there, there are certain things that are felt and there are certain things that are unfelt. So I think, like, he could do a lot of, like, automated responses or, like, a lot of automated things that, like, you can identify as, like, hey, like, this is, like, you have preference on food, you have preference on looks, you have preference on this, this is bad coffee beans, this is good coffee beans, this is good, right?

Like, Those are like proof that you actually do have self-love, right? Mm-hmm . But to the person themselves, they, they don't like, um, like that, that's not like conscious self-love. Mm-hmm . Being, being, being played out. 

Okay. 

[01:20:37] Toliy: Right. So I feel that like, um, 

how I say it, like, um, 

[01:20:44] Toliy: like those things are things that you identified, but they don't, but, but they don't feel that same way about those things.

Understood. Because they're, I understand. They're not like, okay, 

we're 

[01:20:52] Eldar: good. Okay. Can you shut the fuck up, please? Yes, I can. Thanks.

You understand cuz 

[01:21:01] Eldar (3): or no? 

No, 

[01:21:07] Eldar: he's angry at himself because He doesn't have the answers, but

it's hard to think Yeah, and I think that the reason why it's supposed to be hard to think is because your way of thinking doesn't work anymore Right. It's not work. It hasn't worked. It didn't give any proof So what you're sitting with it's like I don't know what to do, you know And obviously the hard part about ego and the way it's set up, right?

It's set up a very prideful Dynamic or a fortress around yourself, right? So anything that goes against the pride it hurts right and what goes against pride asking for help Somebody telling you what to do. Yeah, right Not being the leader and all these other things, right? It's it goes by default right a person who's been functioning this way for a very long time He's supposed to have feelings of this type of reactions.

Yeah 

[01:22:01] Toliy: There's no way that if you're 29, 26, 31, 40, 39, right, you got something wrong this whole time.

That's how you feel. Like, there's no way that like, this is it. And I think that like, you can't come to terms with that. You got it all wrong. Yeah, like, you can't come to terms that like, You're not like 13 or like 14, right? Yeah. Because you had a dip, you had like a depiction your whole life that like you would understand things by like a certain time, right?

Like we, we all felt that way, right? Oh, the time thing. No, I mean, 

[01:22:38] Eldar: but how, like what? I don't know how that is. Like, I don't know how you could, but, but you thinking about, are you thinking about it? Logical terms? Me? Yeah. I'm not even thinking about it. What you saying? I'm thinking about how and when did we come up with these timeline?

Is that a logical thing that you just said? How? I'm asking a question. I'm asking a question, yes. Is it logical to be asking a logical thing? Of the illogical thing? Can you ask an ignorant thing to give you a non ignorant, like Yes, because then that the ignorant thing has to reply with more ignorant stuff not to be able to defend itself.

So then I can understand what's happening. Yeah, but that's, but that's you because you're not in it. Yeah. A person who's in the ignorant, they cannot, [01:23:20] they cannot handle those questions. This is true, probably, yeah. So then what do we do? What are we left with? The thing is, it's, it's, uh, like a lot, a lot of times, I say at least, it's survival of the fittest.

How much do you really want this? Are you going to keep fighting and asking questions every single time and putting yourself under the gun to show that you're an idiot? What does that mean? Survival of the fittest to be curious? Like, I don't understand how those two things are together. Right now, he's not, it's not about being curious.

Right now, it's putting yourself under the gun. Then after you understand the importance of sharing and it's no longer for him right now to share those things It's not pleasant to say like yo, I don't like you teaching me Yeah, you know because he's like I don't want to show people that I'm angry for example, right?

but once you understand the importance of actually sharing how you feel and honestly It's no longer a pain. So then but then within itself you've transformed right there and then

that's how that's how it happens 

Okay, 

[01:24:26] Eldar: the more you understand like the thing is like when you rely upon So then almost the knowledge is not even a knowledge itself It becomes the knowledge is in the in the surrender part that you just said and said finally when you realize like, okay I have to ask I think that was a huge part, yeah.

That's a huge part or is it the part? 

[01:24:46] Toliy: I'm a little bit tipsy right now. 

[01:24:48] Eldar: Harris. 

[01:24:49] Toliy: That gummy just hit me like in the last 10 minutes. Crazy. What? I feel like I'm saying something. And you're not saying anything. And then like I lose track of what I'm saying. And then I have to continue. The gummy that you 

[01:25:03] Eldar: didn't take, just want to clarify.

[01:25:05] Toliy: That was not a gummy. 

[01:25:06] Eldar: It was Oh, you actually took a gummy? Yeah. No, it took a little bit. Yeah. I did not, yeah, I was about to say, that'd be crazy. Yo, 

if you tell me that was nothing. 

[01:25:15] Eldar: Yeah, that was, that'll be wild. Yeah. Okay. I forget what we're saying, but that's what you talked about. Oh, what you're saying is, is that when the transmission happens, uh, if you have acknowledged Right?

Yeah. You have acknowledged like, yes. Yo, bro. Yes. I see what you're saying. We suck. Mm-hmm . We suck, bro. Like we, we suck. When you admit that you know nothing. Yes. Like we suck let's go out there and get some help. Yeah is the moment of transformation if you believe it Yes, if you believe well, obviously I'm talking about the genuine experience.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah The biggest step what the fuck? That's disgusting the biggest step and I think totally have said this before is not the actual actions of doing But it's like is the acknowledging something like this That is why i'm fascinated by some of the times with charis comes up with the shit When I ask him certain stuff 

[01:26:08] Toliy: Oh, here.

He's still here. Yeah. We like, 

[01:26:10] Eldar: we, we discuss these things and then Harris like completely acknowledges everything that's been said. Understands it for the moment. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, oh shit. And then alerting, maybe commands. Yeah. That's a very interesting group therapy. The a crazy thing. 

[01:26:27] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like there's a very interesting, 

[01:26:30] Eldar: I'm sorry, uh, to, can you gimme a beer please?

And if you can be nice about it, that'd be great. Cousin. 

He's the bartender, man. 

[01:26:40] Eldar: No, but you the probe. I'm not that, no. Right now he's very angry. He can't do anything, you know? 

No, he, he pretending he's tired. I, I saw him. No, I'm 

[01:26:47] Tolis: not tired, man. Back and forth. He's fuming. I'm not physical. Tired. 

[01:26:51] Eldar: Yeah. He's angry.

He wants to kick you in the spleen. You 

wanna 

[01:26:55] Toliy: kick me? , 

[01:26:55] Tolis: not you, man. 

[01:26:57] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:26:57] Eldar: The, the world. Me. 

[01:27:00] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like that like. And, and I think that we've all, um, felt 

[01:27:05] Eldar: it. So right now, actually what he's experiencing, Uh huh. What I just thought about, I don't know if this is true, but right now it's ego is fighting.

Right now what he said, I want to kick the world. Yeah. This is the ego, again, putting the blindness on you. Because what you need to do is kick yourself. Yes. Instead of the world. Yeah. You're saying, yo, it's not me, bro. It's the world that's doing this. Yeah. It's not taking responsibility again. Yeah. The ego is fucking Well, I don't know if it's I don't know if the ego exists.

I'm just gonna like say that I 

[01:27:32] Tolis: don't know what ego but ego if it's ego that if what this what this is ego I told you my ego right now is a very bad. 

[01:27:41] Eldar: Yo, why are you grabbing that dick like that? Delta man, that's weird. Sorry cuz yeah, I'm actually excited the fact that you stuck your thumb in there 

That's nice, man.

Yeah, I'm excited to lift this bottle now. 

[01:27:56] Eldar: Yeah. Wait, were you scratching your butt earlier? That's disgusting. Mmm! Is that good flavor? Is that what I'm tasting? Yeah. Oh, fuck, man! Shut up, man. 

[01:28:05] Harris: I got a little half job. I didn't stick my fucking 

Dry skin on that, man. You fucking dick! You sat on that dildo, dude!

Are you kidding me, man? Fuck you! Fuck you! Wait, how's it behind you? It's again behind you! Oh, my God! 

[01:28:19] Toliy: Man. Oh, my God! Yeah, I was, I was, I was saying, I think we all, um, felt that like, uh, one point or like another where we're like, like, even if we're asking for help, right? We're like, um, like, we will, we, we almost like, oh, the words, like, I'm ready for change, right?

Or like, I'm ready for this. Like, we, we say it. And I think that like, once we're there. Like, I think that if we kept pushing, we'll be very close to like, you can't like say that, like, Hey, like, okay. Like I'll listen. I'm going to be humble right now. Right. I think you can only be humble. Yeah. So whatever that you're saying that you're ready for, I feel like you can't be ready for it.

You have to. Just be it. Okay, 

[01:29:00] Eldar: so talk to me about the transformation part. That little line. That's where it is. That's where The real grind. That's where the Yeah, like he's totally saying it's the real grind. That's where when somebody says You guys talking about like the Being determined? That's why I said it's survival of the fittest.

Because If he comes and says y'all i'm humble I want to learn and totally says no you're not ready You're not fucking you're just saying it, but you're actually not okay. That person has a choice to say like, okay Fuck you. Totally. You don't want to teach me. Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. I hate you or whatever or to say Damn, this motherfuckers pissing me off.

I want to keep learning. I want to find out. I really want to find out. Yeah, but You're confusing me with the word survival of the fittest I'm like because you're saying that survival of the fittest is that if I hold my breath right here sooner or later My hands are gonna go and i'm gonna survive. No, I 

[01:29:47] Toliy: think he no, I think he's saying that like um, um I, I, I think at least, um, I saw a video of someone like describing like, uh, I, I don't know if it's an actual Socrates, uh, quote.

Yeah. 

[01:29:58] Toliy: Right, but, but, but I said it to, to Coserly because I saw it in some video. Someone was saying it as if Socrates said this, but I don't know if he actually did. 

Okay. 

[01:30:06] Toliy: So he said that like, um, Yeah, like if you, if, if, if someone takes your head, right, and forcibly puts it below water, after some time, what, what are you going to do?

Fight. You're going to fight. Correct. Right? And you have a huge attachment to what? To breathe. To breathe, right? To be alive. You'll do anything to get some air, right? 100%. Like, you, you have that feeling. Yes. Right? Now, if you have that same feeling and desire, um, to learn, like, that, that is like that, like, next level, uh, Transformation.

Well, that's what I'm saying that Mike is using the survival. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying Is that like that that desire to actually go up and get water? That's a survival instinct. That's just coming out, right? Yeah, but if you have that same thing for the desire to be humble or to get like knowledge, right?

Then I think those same similar things like happen. 

[01:30:58] Eldar: Yes Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but how also because you're saying it's like you're trying to explain that survival is a fitness but like where and how Is it the way I understand the survival of the fittest? Yeah is he has a choice what kind of life he lives Like I'm like or everybody has to live a life.

That's like 

[01:31:17] Toliy: also he's saying it from an observational standpoint 

[01:31:20] Eldar: like a Life that's like just a regular. Uh huh, right? You could just be a fucking but that's a life 

[01:31:27] Toliy: That that would be like your observation of survival of the of the fittest 

[01:31:32] Eldar: I'm not sure how you guys using survival of the fittest to be honest here.

Yeah, 

[01:31:35] Toliy: he's like he he's observing it as like he either has a good choice to make or a bad choice to make and those will Dictate like where in the survival of the fittest cycle of overall life Does he end up being does he kept keep end up being a piece of shit and keep like progressing towards that?

Or does he evolve and go up and become like a really good person? Yeah, my thing 

[01:31:55] Eldar: is the more evolutionary, like do you evolve and now you understand there's something more to life? And you start thinking completely different? Or you still stay But does he have a choice in the matter, Mike? I don't think he does.

And like The survival, the survival of the fittest phenomenon is a biological one where he has no choice in the matter. Yeah, to me, it was, it's a more of a choice. It's like Phil and Dennis and Dennis and Nate. Yeah. All those people, they came in for the survival of the fittest. Uh huh. They couldn't survive.

Okay. They were not cut out to take those ego blows. And they said, y'all want to stay with my ego. Fuck this. I'm not ready to be put under the gun. I'm not ready to face myself. I'm not strong enough to survive this fucking barrage. For the moment. For whatever time, this lifetime, next lifetime, whatever, this moment, ten years, five years, whatever time that they, they got.

But in this moment, they're not fit enough to survive what's required for them to get to the next level. That's the way I see it. You know? But the way to survive of the fittest, how do you do it, bro? You got to be tough as fuck. And I'm not talking about the way they talk about it. It's physical. I'm talking about a mental survival of the fittest because you're going to come here.

You're going to open your mouth. You can say, yo, I'm angry at you because you fucking tell me how to do the leash. 

Yeah. 

[01:33:06] Eldar: He's going to get hit over the head. Yeah. Anything else? You're going to come out with ignorance. You're going to get hit over the head and you have to keep surviving that. So you fucking realize, yo, wait, I actually understand the importance of asking questions, being vulnerable.

And it's not because of fear. It's to actually learn because it's going to help me to transform my life.

That's the way I see it.

[01:33:35] Eldar: You know what we're trying to describe Paris? Nope. The line between when the lizard becomes a Monkey. 

Oh shit. 

[01:33:47] Eldar: Then the monkey becomes a human, obviously. We're trying to understand that line. It's very hard. Totally. You buy what Mike's saying? That is not happening in nature like those animals, right? That first, wasn't there some kind of animals that were first all in water and then they fucking became land?

They were first land, then they became water. Iguanas and the Galapagos. 

[01:34:13] Toliy: Yeah, yeah, 

[01:34:16] Eldar: because 

[01:34:16] Toliy: they were running away from like some shit, right? 

[01:34:18] Eldar: No, no, they had to, they had to eat. They either came to this island somehow or whatever. I think, you know, whoever landed there brought them there from a different country and the iguanas obviously don't go underwater.

Yeah, but they didn't have enough to forge for food. Well, the avatar too. Remember that movie? Yeah. The second avatar, same story. Oh yeah. They had to learn how to go. They learn how to dive. That's right. They had to learn how to dive and then they developed gills and stuff like that. Almost like fish. Yeah.

Yeah. Where they can be on the water for a very prolonged period of time in order to eat the algae or whatever. Mm-hmm . Yeah. Whatever the fuck it was. 

[01:34:47] Toliy: But I think for that, like that, like, so I feel like survival of the fittest is, is playing out, but I feel like. For you to view it that way, like you have to buy into it, like you have to buy into that, like that's actually the survival of the fittest where someone else might be like, look, if you're not trying to make as much money as possible and like squeeze out every cent and like weekend and in your day all day, then like you're going down in the survival of my 

[01:35:07] Eldar: thing is the survival of the fittest and evolutionary, because I do believe that we are evolving right from a lizard monkey lizard to a monkey to a human to AI to like, uh, I don't know, a philosopher king that is the survival of the Yeah.

You want to live your life as a lizard monkey or a lizard? 

Mm hmm. 

[01:35:25] Eldar: That's your choice, but like, or you, you survive what's required to get to the next step of evolution, you know? 

Yeah. 

[01:35:32] Eldar: As, as a, as a, of your mind. Yeah. And your species. Maybe your body, man, because that body's weird. That little nub of his?

That nub. It's 

nubbin. 

[01:35:43] Eldar: Nubbin. Fuck you. I like 

[01:35:46] Toliy: your nubbin. The nub is nice, man. Do you lead with that when you meet girls? How many times have you hung your coat on it? 

[01:35:55] Eldar: Did you ever let anybody pet it? Oh my god. What is wrong with you, man? Pet it. Hey, girl. I got a nubbin. You want to pet it? Are you serious, Iris?

Okay, ego. Fuck, man. Ego is not the amigo, huh? Cuz, ego is crazy, man. You got a big one. What are we gonna do with it? We have to monetize it, 

man. 

[01:36:17] Eldar: Let's go trick people, man. Into believing that you're cool. Or hot shit. Or smart.

How many people can we, like, trick? Yeah, like, the thing is, the ego The biggest thing that scares the ego Right? Is to be honest is to say like right now the hardest things for the egos to come clean and to say everything Yeah, which is what it is to be the ego to be honest to be the truth Yeah to rely on good.

Yeah to fucking evict the bad evict the bad. Yeah, which is a sick thing. Yes That's why he cannot open his mouth. Yeah, you'll stop yelling. Uh huh, even though he's saying a lot. Yeah, that's the sickest thing Right there that's happening. Yeah, he's screaming right now. He's have to lower his 

volume. Yeah, please.

Thank you

[01:37:03] Eldar: You know, wow, that's what's have you ever met a singer that never sung? I know a writer that never wrote a painter that never a salesman that never sold. Oh, fuck you 

guys. Fuck you guys. Yes. And this is the time you already said. You get it, you ask it, huh? Kicked, huh? 

[01:37:32] Tolis: Yes, cuz. And this is the time that I'm saying that my only thinking right now 

You want 

[01:37:38] Tolis: us to kill you?

What I want to say is like, you guys don't get it. 

He wants 

[01:37:42] Eldar: to kill you. We don't get it, right? Of course we don't get it. I don't think we're supposed to get it, cuz. 

[01:37:49] Tolis: Like, you don't understand. 

[01:37:51] Eldar: I know. We don't. 

[01:37:53] Tolis: The only, right now, thinking in my mind, right now 

[01:37:57] Eldar: Cuz. If you if you try your best your best you won't understand either

i'm convinced of this There's nothing that you can explain to me that it's gonna make sense About this ego thing 

[01:38:17] Tolis: not everything but only It's 

[01:38:20] Toliy: impossible, yeah, because like you can't like You can't possibly understand that that's how you feel. Yeah, like there's no actual way. 

[01:38:29] Eldar (2): Yeah, 

[01:38:30] Toliy: they're like, you know this 

[01:38:31] Eldar (2): Yeah, 

[01:38:31] Toliy: like like that's how it yeah, it feels.

[01:38:34] Eldar: Yeah, but the truth is 

[01:38:37] Toliy: there's there's a very 

[01:38:38] Eldar: But you understand that if you try to explain it, it's gonna fall flat on its face every time. 

[01:38:44] Toliy: Yeah,

that's also right. Yeah, right Well, that's cool. That's also why that like, um, you were saying before that, like, I know I need to hear, hear people out because like, they could be wanting to help me or something. I don't even necessarily feel that like, it has to be that. Like, it's always good to like, just see like, regardless what, what, what they're saying almost, right?

Cause either like, it's gonna go like two directions if you have that attitude, right? You're either gonna like, prove that you are correct. Or maybe you're going to have the opportunity to learn something new. So it doesn't even need to come from the angle that like, Oh, I need to listen because they're going to help me.

[01:39:33] Tolis: I don't know, man. All I hear right now is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 

[01:39:40] Eldar: Yeah, the thing is, uh, good thing or bad thing. He has to, uh

[01:39:48] Tolis: I just feel like nobody can understand. Yeah, it's normal. And all you say is like, blah, blah, blah, you say your thing. 

[01:39:55] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[01:39:56] Tolis: But you don't give me the answer. 

[01:39:59] Eldar (2): [01:40:00] Yeah. 

[01:40:01] Tolis: You're just saying, you're just saying stuff, like you say, you say things. 

[01:40:06] Eldar: And you think, and you think that you're saying something.

[01:40:13] Tolis: I don't know. I'm bad at, uh, I'm, uh, talking, you know, expressing myself. I'm bad at this. I never did that in my life. 

[01:40:22] Eldar: But do you think if you tried, you think you're going to be able to convince us that yours make sense? 

[01:40:28] Tolis: I just want a straight answer, like question answer, question answer. No, no, no, no. No theories, no 

[01:40:33] Toliy: David Fernaldi, I think he's saying that like And what you're saying, like, like, you're not actually telling him what needs to be exactly done step for step so that like, like, uh, he instantly feels like, uh, yeah, good things from, he's not 

[01:40:52] Eldar: saying 

[01:40:52] Toliy: anything either.

He's not giving us an example of, I'm angry about this, this and that. No, but I don't think he's coming from that direction that like he's saying that. Oh, yeah. Where is he coming from? Yeah, I think that he's saying that, like, we're, we're saying things that like. Theories. Yeah. Maybe like theories or like concepts on particular things, but you're not actually telling him step by step.

That like, okay, like, this, this, and this, and then you, and then you get right away to feel something. Yeah, 

[01:41:21] Eldar: but we talked about this, there's a reason for that. The ego is not supposed to see what's being planted underneath the subconscious. So we are able to fly low enough to go into the subconscious, it's there now, whether he likes it or not, it's gonna come to fruition.

That's how ego gets tricked. Yeah. It's not supposed to know the good stuff. 

[01:41:41] Toliy: Yeah, like the ego wants the final product right now. Yeah, 

[01:41:44] Eldar: the ego is just, yeah, actually the ego is really dumb and easily tricked. There 

[01:41:48] Toliy: you go, you 

[01:41:48] Eldar: see? 

[01:41:48] Toliy: Again, you conclude that. But it's also really smart at the same time because it never knows that it's tricked.

No, no, it's 

[01:41:54] Eldar: smart only against yourself who is really dumb, but not 

[01:41:57] Toliy: against outside something. The ego physically never gets tricked because then when it's Like in there over actually gets like like like defeated right? No, it's like it's either there or it's not. 

Yeah Yeah, it's not like 

[01:42:09] Toliy: they're loses and then and then yeah, and then stops.

Yeah. 

Yeah, 

[01:42:13] Toliy: like it's just no longer there then 

Yeah, you know Yeah, 

[01:42:16] Toliy: like for example saying something like that Cause is like, oh, what are these guys talking about? Yeah. Gimme an actual example where like, this happened. This happens. Yeah. And then I feel this. You wanna 

[01:42:24] Eldar: play that game? We can do that. What?

We can play that game too. What do you wanna know? Cause you, you just intrigued them. 

[01:42:30] Tolis: I told you all my love. 

[01:42:32] Toliy: He's very intrigued right now. There. Yeah. He like this. Yeah. Before . 

[01:42:35] Tolis: Yeah. 

[01:42:36] Toliy: He like this one.

Just like you predict. That's Tony. Yeah. He likes is what I'm doing. Right. He's like, okay, I'm gonna.

[01:42:50] Toliy: Where can you make, uh, water into gold? Okay. 

All my life I've been wanting to know, 

[01:42:58] Tolis: you said, you said like you've been through this. Yeah. All of you, you've been through this. So you know, yeah, exactly the steps somebody has to go. 

Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:43:12] Tolis: To get over it. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So why you just don't tell me the steps?

We don't know how to communicate cause 

[01:43:20] Toliy: yeah But also why are you the impression that you're not already getting the steps? 

[01:43:24] Tolis: I'm not I'm just getting theories But no, 

[01:43:26] Toliy: but you know, you think right? You're not able to listen. What no, it's not even that that that's what you think, right? Yeah, you think that it's supposed to go a particular way where like they first need to tell me this Then they need to tell me this and then this and then it'll equal this right but like you think that

[01:43:47] Tolis: All right, before I come here. Uh huh. You 

have to listen. 

[01:43:51] Tolis: We had a video call. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I talked to you I was in my car and I was talking to you about my problems what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And what you said to me don't be too hard to yourself. Like, uh huh. All right, what's this? Okay, everything fixed.

I'm not hard to myself. 

[01:44:09] Eldar: Don't be too hard on yourself. 

[01:44:11] Tolis: Tell me why my ex downed me Why? Because you suck. Because my ego is she's crazy. No, I told you, we talked about this. No, you told me she's crazy and I was justified. 

[01:44:24] Eldar: No, I didn't say that. I, no, I told you that she's crazy. Yes, that you allowed, you allowed the crazy to take over the relationship.

I told you this. You, right, when you heard the things that she was saying, you knew inside that she was wrong, and you didn't say anything. You promoted her to continue to do crazy things in the relationship, and you kept being silent. Why? Because you said, I was desperate myself, I needed her to validate myself, and I need to keep her To start a new life.

To start a new life. 

[01:44:58] Tolis: Yeah, but why? I still both. So you 

[01:45:00] Toliy: had an attachment to that, so you were willing to do everything Yeah. Possible to preserve that? Yeah. That, that you, her, that idea, her, your, your idea was to go start a new life and for X, y, Z to happen. So prior to that happening, you're willing to do anything to get to that point, and that's where you sold yourself out.

Because 

[01:45:18] Eldar: you have a timeline. Oh, by 30, I have to have a girlfriend, I have to have a good job, I have to have a plan. 

[01:45:24] Toliy: No, no, yeah, yeah, like, like, like, you having a plan, like, you having the plan is a better depiction, like, you have a plan. Yeah. And because you have a plan, you'll do anything possible to make sure everything goes to that plan.

And even if it's you have to speak out the truth, for the plan to be done right now, right? Like, lots of times, like, when, when, when, like, someone's wrong about something or whatever. Like we hold court right now. There's no set up a day. See, well, who's available? Both sides can make it. Court is held right now.

[01:46:00] Tolis: But why? I still think, like if I had back then with my ex mm-hmm . If I had the career and like a million dollars mm-hmm . Everything would be good. I think. 'cause when I expose myself everything. Yeah. 

[01:46:15] Toliy: Well, well I think that certain, certain things could, could have progressed further for just a lot if you just have that, that thing.

But. Other problems would rise once the money's already accepted that like, okay, like we have money that that's already understood That's no longer. Wow an issue. Yeah, like if you had the money, it's not like those people every day are grateful. We're like Wow, let's wake up and give prayers. Thanks all money.

Thanks so much for for for marrying me like you really changed my life, right? 

Yeah, 

[01:46:44] Toliy: maybe they felt that one time for example or for a little bit but after years happen, you don't feel that way Yeah, right like that already now just becomes normal normal for you, right? So other problems other bad things would have hundred percent happened.

[01:47:01] Tolis: So you say if if I had that money back there It would like takes like after two 

[01:47:07] Toliy: years, it would just prolong the 

[01:47:09] Eldar: problem, 

[01:47:10] Toliy: making it two years, 10 years, 20 years. That is why we tell you that you're lucky now. Like think about it. I, I, I, I think we, we've all experienced this on, on, on different levels, right?

When, for example, um, in the very beginning, before we were alive, and our parents met, right, they liked each other, whatever, they fell in love, something happened, right, or like, they liked each other to some point, and then they got together, and then they got married, and then they have kids, right, and then what happens to our parents?

In their later years, how do they feel about each other? Yeah. Well, you know, they don't like each other, right? Agreed with my parents Yeah, my parents too, right? What happens parents mine too? Yeah, what happened? Where what happened before all those years before slowly what happens? because they're they're they're they did not live up to the truth for for like They at some point dropped off the truth and they were carrying like bullshit for a long time and then eventually That bullshit.

Like you can't build life on that. Yeah. If, if, if eventually like you get tired, this and this and this and that and that, then it, like everything falls apart. But it can hold it, it can hold things together for some period of time. But if it's not built on truth and that truth is not maintained by both parties Right.

It's gonna 

[01:48:35] Tolis: fall 

[01:48:36] Toliy: apart. 

[01:48:38] Tolis: Yeah. But I still believe like 90% of the people out, uh, out there mm-hmm . 90% of divorces. It's about money. 

[01:48:51] Eldar: Well, there's probably actual statistics that you can look up to see whether or not that's the truth. 

[01:48:55] Toliy: There's probably also, I'll tell you right now, everything 

[01:48:58] Tolis: else, if you talk, it's gonna like solve, but if you don't have money, that's it.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean that 

[01:49:08] Toliy: it's actually about money. Yeah, you could have the relationship, like, probably 90 percent of those relationships. Financial 

[01:49:14] Eldar: issues are contributing factor 20 to 40 percent of divorce, of all divorces. Okay, there's a study. 20 to 40%, but that's also not 90, it could be fake news because the relationships are built in fake news, fake stuff.

And they fight about money because the relationship actually has no foundation. No, but they probably surveyed these people, right? Yeah. Right, and you know, they probably asked them a series of questions just to say like, Hey, what was the contributing factor? What would you, what would you fight on a daily basis, right?

And people probably answered money, money, money, money. Yeah, but people who valued money? No, it's fine, but this is what I think, this is the, I think it's still a statistically mixed problem. 

[01:49:51] Toliy: Yeah, I definitely, yeah, but I also think that a lot of relationships, They probably start on money and start on particular things like, Oh, why is he a good guy?

Why is she a good girl? Oh, she has a good career. He has a good career. For example, like people will say those things as like reasons Why they feel someone is good or bad. 

Mm hmm. 

[01:50:10] Toliy: So like like the foundation like if the foundation Starts on bullshit things. It's gonna eventually collapse, right? If you build a house on a poor foundation Eventually, it's gonna fall apart Right.

And that's the, and the same thing happens for the relationships that we all see in our own families. Right. Why does that happen? If it was built on truth and that truth was maintained the way that they felt about each other on day one is the same way on, on like day, you know, uh, 10, 000. 

[01:50:46] Eldar: Well, because most couples don't go into a relationship saying, okay, what does money mean to you?

Yeah. What does money mean to me? What is money? How do you have fun? Do you buy fun or do you create fun? Right. Going hiking. It's free. 

Mm-hmm . 

[01:51:08] Eldar: Going out to a club and a movie and a drinks. It's not Okay. Which one do you prefer? If you prefer one. Okay. Do you have a good job to sustain this type of thing?

Thing if you do not, you are most likely be unhappy because you like this. Mm-hmm . But you can't afford this. Yep. Okay. And the other side, right? If you like hiking, do you, how much money do you make in order to do hiking? Well, I don't need much, so I don't make much and I'm okay. It works. But if it doesn't, especially for long periods of time, like you said, sooner or later, you're going to come out like what's happening here.

We have money problems. No, no, no, no. You don't have money problems. You have value definition problems, understanding problems. Yeah. That's what you have. You don't have money problems. You just stupid. Mm hmm. So what is it that you actually have right? No, people don't go into relationships talking about these things in an Elaborate way.

Mm hmm. All right people like to say I like nice things What the fuck does that mean? Nice things. Do you like fake jewelry that Looks really nice, but it's fake or do you like Gucci Louis and fucking all this other crap? There's two different things nice things. You have to define what that means. Mm hmm.

What is nice things? Yeah, people don't talk like that. That is why they find themselves In a very specific relationships, which end up in divorce and problems and all this other stuff, which they should yeah, because over time Your ego can't sustain keeping up with this image and that is why you feel exhausted That's why we can talk about this nonsense For the long periods of time and not feel any type of way and actually feel probably recharged Afterwards and I like it versus someone who's struggling with this kind of stuff is trying to tap in It's gonna have a very hard time.

Yeah. Yep. That's why your back probably hurts right now. Or your nubbin is screaming at you. 

[01:53:12] Toliy: If you need to excuse yourself, it's completely fine. Yeah. If you're hungry and if you want to sit there 

[01:53:17] Eldar: naked, take off all your clothes, because you're gonna feel not restricted anymore. Guys. Mike? You saying something?

The ego as you said, it's fucking stupid as fuck, huh? 

Mm hmm. 

[01:53:29] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah,

it's a naked ear It's pretty good person. The ego is very smart, but to a smart person the ego is very stupid. Yeah, that's always the case though That is always the case always like that or from the outside perspective. No attachment. So what is happening? Okay so then so then you have to ask almost right the people that don't have I mean are not struggling with the ego and able to be humble and Learn and stuff like that.

What is their purpose, right? Is it their purpose actually almost are in what Socrates always talked about that our ethical obligation almost like innate? Featuring us that we need to go back and help the ones that do have an ego Yeah I always felt like that's the super important to bring more people out of the cave Somebody else talking to somebody was a Harris or told us , uh, toes was, oh, toes was saying something to me.

He is like, I'm very grateful. Mm-hmm . Like, you're doing, like, you know, you're doing, he told you this. Hmm. He's like, I'm very grateful for you. You're picking me up and you're doing all this stuff. And like, you know, I'm like, 'cause it's nothing. Yeah. I don't feel like I'm doing anything. Like Yeah. I'm just doing what I regularly do.

Yeah. 

[01:54:38] Eldar: He's like, yeah, but you're going outta your way. We have like something to do in the morning. I'm like, no. 'cause Yeah. It's not that serious. Yeah. You know? I know. He made it serious to me too. Yeah. Before we spoke about it, I thought it was funny, you know, but I think, uh. Not that that's like an example, necessarily an example of it, but I think the most, um, you know, I said to him, uh, something, but, but the most important I think is, is to help others come out of the cave.

If you understand it, if you came out and, or you've coming out, you'd obviously want to help. Would you say that that feature or that almost innate feeling to help or do is almost a prerequisite to being awake then, or being You're not sleeping in the position that you can't help yeah, it's like automatic which is pretty cool then yeah, yeah Yeah, I don't know if this was the same conversation or not Maybe it was like but I said I said to cause I was like And we've said this many times, but happiness is best when it's shared, right?

If I have discovered something about life that's amazing, and I'm happy because of it, why wouldn't I want to share it with everybody else so we can all be happier together? Again, I don't think you have a choice in the matter. Yeah, I don't think you have a choice. Yeah, that's why, like, um, I wonder if, like, the thing with, with the Joe, um, the situation with Joe, like, uh, and Harris coming to him, where'd that come from?

With Harris. Like, why did he come up with that? Oh, because he's, he's human. He's has a soul and he feels pain and he understands. He understands. Yeah. But 

[01:56:27] Toliy: you also said that he mainly did that because he wanted to get a hug out. Right. But 

[01:56:31] Eldar: he 

[01:56:31] Toliy: liked Joe's body. 

[01:56:32] Eldar: Yeah. He is a firefighter. That's crazy. You like Joe?

Like that, man. That's cool, man. I think he's married though, man. To a woman. 

He's a sick [01:56:40] fuck, man. 

[01:56:42] Eldar: Yeah. You said he's your number one fan. I didn't know, like, maybe you thought he's going to do something extra for you. What? How about this? How about this? Uh huh. The question is, did that action, Harris's initial action, came from a, came from an ego point or not?

What was the question, sorry? The question was, that initial action that Harris took, totally Mike, came from an ego standpoint, or did it come from a humble place? That's a good question. What, what, what initial action? Of like him confronting Joe. That is a good question. Acknowledging his pain and then confronting Joe.

It can be, uh, ego. You sure? It doesn't logically make sense to me initially thinking about it, but. Well, the only reason why I'm asking this too is because I also have evidence. Yeah. Which I didn't know before, but it was brought to court. Mm hmm. That the stakes were being made? No. Oh. That he mentioned that Joe was his biggest fan.

Yeah, so hey Joe, what's up with you? I thought you were my biggest fan. Mm hmm. Who's talking? Yeah He's just a hurt little boy. No, maybe oh fuck you man, or or Those were two separate moments Hey, Joe, what's going on? I don't like what I'm seeing. I don't like the reaction. I thought you were my biggest 

fan.

No, I think also it's too separate. Yeah, 

[01:58:15] Eldar: I think it's, yeah, maybe it's too separate, but also it's, which one was it? It's the thing is, I think, uh, maybe it's part of it is it's hard to humble yourself, so you kind of come in like a halfway. Okay. 

[01:58:27] Toliy: But which one was it? No. Yeah, I think it's two separate moments.

There was. First, a, uh, moment of like, uh, humility of humility, no, no, like knowing that something is wrong. And then there was a moment where like, maybe like some reasons that were logical made sense. The ego came out to flare up. It was like, I thought you were my biggest fan. Yes. And then it kind of went, went, went from there.

[01:58:52] Eldar: You have to help us. I 

[01:58:53] Toliy: don't know. 

[01:58:55] Eldar: You don't remember. Is it because you love Joe? 

Huh? 

[01:58:57] Eldar: No. Was it because you like, I feel it. Huh? He needs a Chinese buffet. Oh 

my god, 

[01:59:05] Eldar: why do you look like a Chinese buffet? Oh my god, why you look like that dish? Dim sum? You look like a dim sum, like a big 

kind of dumpling.

He's just a dim, right? He's just a dim with no sum. Yeah, why are you trying to do that, man? I'm not about that. Oh, fuck man. Damn Harris man. 

[01:59:31] Eldar: Don't worry man. We'll get it. So, so, 'cause that'll say everything, right? That'll tell us a lot. That'll tell us a lot, Mike. If that's the case. Mm-hmm . Then it, it's only through pain.

You can fucking kickstart the fucking humility train. No, I think we agreed with that a long time ago. Okay, fine. Yeah. Okay, then then like again all these motherfuckers that are trying to like, oh be nice and use the fucking this, you know Namaste fucking approach. Yeah, the gigs up bro Kick is up if that's the truth if he led with it because of pain, how can you rid?

Ignorance or yes ban ignorance ego If not, through something even stronger, right? A lot of times when we're faced, right, with people and, people and egos and our own egos. Yeah. We only listen to somebody who's even more stronger than ours, us, but not with the truth or more arrogance or, you know, but not genuine maybe necessarily, but emphasize it to prove a point to that person like, 

[02:00:42] Toliy: yeah, 

[02:00:43] Eldar: you know, 

[02:00:43] Toliy: cause you have to watch what dreams may come.

Next 

[02:00:47] Toliy: this is 

[02:00:47] Eldar: too complicated. He needs time. He needs one plus one equals two It's time and you and I think he needs questions to his to his questions. He needs questions I don't even want to 

[02:00:58] Tolis: talk about ego, but because ego doesn't make sense to me Why not? Maybe it's not even real. Hmm. So it doesn't make sense to even talk about it.

Why do you say that? It's not even real We don't know what's ego, what's the word ego. It's 

[02:01:14] Eldar: very, everything is very real to the person who makes it real. Just like truth or courage or discipline. For those people, it's all real. 

[02:01:23] Toliy: You, like, yeah, but like, in the moment of like, where, where he, like, in the way that he's thinking about it now, or the way that we With collectively think about it now like it's like it's correct you like ego is not a real thing and it doesn't make sense Yeah, so it's not supposed to make sense for you right now if you're thinking 

[02:01:42] Tolis: or everybody 

[02:01:44] Toliy: Yeah, but when you're not thinking and the ego is naturally happening, 

[02:01:49] Tolis: right?

You're just confusing everything man. What do you mean? 

[02:02:00] Eldar: Remember it's comedy night Oh my 

god, 

[02:02:03] Eldar: of course not we're not taking you You're not invited, man. Yeah, you're not invited. Dude. Fuck off. No thanks. 

[02:02:09] Tolis: No, he, why ? No. Oh man. He's fighting for 

you? 

[02:02:14] Eldar: No. 

What are you talking about, man? We were supposed to to liar.

You already goddamn mind. I don't know, man. Harris, stop crying, man. It's okay. Oh, fuck you. 

[02:02:25] Tolis: He still 

loves you, man. Yeah, 

[02:02:26] Eldar: he loves you, man. You can see when I'm talking. So no ego hot. Cause 

[02:02:30] Tolis: yeah, like it doesn't make sense to me, so it's not real. It's only like nobody gonna talk about ego. And like in a daily basis, you only hear about Dico when you go to the therapist or some 

[02:02:49] Toliy: see it, but that's your perception of it for us.

We can, we talk about it every day. Yeah. Because you 

[02:02:55] Tolis: guys are all therapists, like in a way. Right. Yeah, but that can 

[02:03:01] Toliy: be 

[02:03:02] Tolis: that can be like normal people like normal friends. We don't talk about ego People the under 

[02:03:11] Eldar: pressure that you're normal. We don't think you're normal. We think you're sick Your friends are sick.

That is why you don't talk about the ego as often as we do. 

[02:03:22] Toliy: That's why sick people suffer in, in, in, from, from illusionary things. Think about that. How can you suffer with something that's not real? How do you feel about that? Like, if you see somebody, like, who's suffering from something that doesn't exist, how do you feel about that person?

[02:03:41] Tolis: Think about it, Klaus. No, we just, like, make it, things more simple. Like, when I have a problem, like, not me, Because I don't talk about my problems, but when somebody has a problem, all right, he's saying like that's my problem and we advise him like what to do, we don't go like, oh, maybe you have ego, maybe the theories of Socrates, or maybe we don't say this stuff.

We just advise him about our experience. And you've been doing good with this? 

[02:04:10] Toliy: How has it been effective? 

[02:04:12] Tolis: Yeah, I was trying I was giving advices like but I wasn't going like very hard because I Wasn't always sure if my advice is good. Hmm. So I was so we just surface level Yeah, I was giving advice but I was saying like it doesn't mean that you have to do this like it's your choice So it's you know, yeah, I'm just Saying, like, if you want, that's it, it's simple.

I wouldn't go like, oh, maybe you're Igor, maybe you're arrogant, uh, maybe you, some theories, what Socrates are, the gravities, you 

[02:04:49] Toliy: would say like The funniest, the funniest thing I said, like, the whole month he's been here, do you remember or no? 

Which one? 

[02:04:58] Toliy: This was like, yo, like, fucking reckless funny, he said it last week.

You don't remember? Well, I wasn't here 

[02:05:04] Eldar: last week for 

[02:05:04] Toliy: the, for the podcast. No, but you were dying laughing. Oh, yes, I do remember. He said, I'm gonna go, what, I'm gonna go back to Santorini, go to owner of restaurant. Owner of restaurant, you 

must hire me. I'm changed, man. You know, like, I have no ego. I'm humble now.

Look at my current life. Yeah, bro, that was hilarious. 

[02:05:23] Tolis: We just, like, we, we talk with my friends. Uh huh. Or people, or Everybody around me with simple terms when somebody asks me like, yeah, no, no, 

[02:05:35] Toliy: but wait. Wait, you're labeling it right now as simple terms, but if you tell me some of these scenarios, I'll show you why they're, what you're saying is extremely complicated, right?

If someone's like, hey, like if someone says, hey, I need money and my advice to you, just go work. Yeah, go work. Am I giving you simple advice, right? Like on paper, I guess, right? Does that sound really complicated to you? No, just go get work. No, no, but I'm saying if you're a person that, that's if I'm a thinker.

Yeah, of course. No, no. If, if you're not, if you're the one saying that, like, yo, like I need money, like, like that. Right. And then I tell you, just go work. How does that person feel? Who's being told this simple advice? Yeah, like crazy like what the fuck? Yeah. How do the people on the other end of this simple advice feel?

Oh tolls that that makes sense. Okay Okay, 

[02:06:25] Tolis: i'm not giving this advice, but i'm no what what what's an example? I don't know like exactly Usually i'm not gonna say like he's gonna say okay. I need money. Okay, you see this. This is gravity. I'm not gonna say this He's gonna say okay, you're crazy, man 

[02:06:41] Toliy: Tell me like give me an example of when someone asked you for something and you gave them advice One one example.

[02:06:48] Eldar: Wow, it's humbling. You asked him to humble himself, you 

[02:06:52] Tolis: know, 

[02:06:52] Eldar: like because he knows we're gonna say that he was wrong 

[02:06:54] Tolis: Sometimes we don't give advice. We just make someone like feel better 

[02:06:59] Eldar: smoke a cigarette and have a coffee 

[02:07:01] Tolis: like 

[02:07:02] Toliy: no But what's advice you've given when does somebody asked you for advice?

And what what did you tell him? Like what do they ask you for? And what what'd you say? 

[02:07:12] Tolis: Like I had a friend. Okay with every girl that he was around Mm hmm

Like he, he just could not make it like with, but didn't work, didn't work. And he was saying that to me, okay. I got a problem 

[02:07:33] Eldar: that I can't make it work with the girls. 

[02:07:34] Tolis: Yes. 

[02:07:35] Eldar: Make the dick work. 

[02:07:37] Tolis: Yeah. Nothing, 

[02:07:37] Eldar: nothing. 

[02:07:39] Tolis: He was like, oh, like, like 26 or something, five. He couldn't 

[02:07:43] Eldar: do it. Yeah. So you told him to buy Viagra?

Huh? You told him to buy Viagra? 

[02:07:48] Tolis: No, he couldn't reach at that point. Like when he, when he, like. He was saying like, nobody, uh, no, no, nobody, girl, like likes me, like, you know. 

[02:08:01] Eldar: Oh, he couldn't get a girlfriend. 

[02:08:03] Tolis: Yeah, I can't get a girlfriend, you know? 

[02:08:05] Eldar: Okay. 

[02:08:06] Tolis: You understand? Okay. Yeah. 

[02:08:08] Toliy: Yeah. It's like, it, it doesn't work out for him and girls when, when he tries.

Okay. So what did you say? He can't settle down with somebody, right? Uh, 

[02:08:15] Tolis: I was saying, man, like, uh, what you doing, man? Like he's saying, I'm doing nothing. That's a question 

[02:08:22] Eldar: because. 

[02:08:23] Tolis: Yeah, what you doing? I didn't say like about gravity. Okay. Okay. So what'd you say you 

[02:08:27] Eldar: say? 

[02:08:28] Tolis: Okay Okay, I said because he was like not a friend like was close to me And I told him okay.

I have to see what you what you're doing there. 

[02:08:38] Eldar: Yeah, 

[02:08:39] Tolis: I got to see 

[02:08:40] Eldar: I was asked the same thing. Okay. Yeah 

[02:08:42] Tolis: He said. Okay. And when I did, because I had like some friends around that had like girls Uhhuh, so I tried like to pass girls to him to see what he's doing. What do 

[02:08:54] Eldar (3): you mean pass girls to him? 

[02:08:55] Tolis: Like to, to meet girls.

Hook him up. Like hook him up. Hook him up. Girls with girls. Okay. To do like to meet new, new girls. Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . So I can see what he does from the start 

[02:09:06] Toliy: when he meets them and then it doesn't work out. He wants to see what that process is like. 

[02:09:09] Tolis: Yeah. What he's doing. 

[02:09:11] Eldar: So you would, you know, these girls.

Like there will be like, like, like around, you know, 

[02:09:16] Tolis: from work or 

[02:09:17] Eldar: you know them and they will come back to you and give you this information on what he's doing wrong. No, I'm just saying 

[02:09:22] Toliy: he would have like, he would be at a bar and be like, Oh, hey, meet like a Samantha. Right? Okay. I will 

[02:09:27] Tolis: call her and him in the same bar.

Yeah. 

[02:09:30] Toliy: And you would watch this with them. Yes. Watch his interaction with them to see what he's doing. 

[02:09:35] Tolis: Okay. And I would tell him. Like, okay, you go there, go attack to here. Okay. I'm not saying to that, to her, I'm just saying like, you, you want to come for a drink? Like I'm going to with my friend, you know, if you want to join and I see the process, what he's doing.

All right. And I see the results and I'm going to say to him in a simple way, like what, what do you say? The example is like, I went, we went to a bar. Uh huh. Okay. With him. And I saw him. Trying to talk to her. Okay. Okay, and he was like his body was like And every every time she was trying to talk to her, uh huh She was doing like this to her like like whispering.

He was praying but with it She can't hear when you're like this, but he thinks that he he told me after that. Maybe he didn't brush his teeth. He speaks No, he speaks when he talks. Okay. 

[02:10:42] Eldar: He doesn't like his speech Are you serious? 

[02:10:47] Tolis: Yeah, so he's saying what he told me that after That's why he's doing that But if you go to a girl like this it's gonna be like You know when people like, sometimes, like they, they talk, wait, 

[02:11:02] Toliy: and it was not loud in the room, or it was very loud.

Of course it was loud. He's in a bar. It was loud. You drink this, it? Yeah. Okay. And I like, 

[02:11:08] Tolis: don't talk to her like this. It's like, it's weird. Okay. 

How much would you pay for this, this conversation? How much would you pay?

What's up with this guy's house? I 

[02:11:30] Tolis: don't understand. I don't understand, like 

I don't know, 

[02:11:36] Tolis: man. I don't know, man. what the fuck. I'm just saying, like I give an example.

What is wrong, man? What is wrong, man? 

[02:11:49] Tolis: I don't even know what's going on here. I don't know why they're laughing so hard. I don't know what's going on. I can't listen. I can't get it to 

stop laughing. 

[02:11:58] Tolis: I don't 

know what's going on. I don't know what's happening. Sarah, she likes big bananas. What the fuck? You like bananas?

Anyway. 

[02:12:11] Tolis: Anyway? 

Anyway? 

[02:12:16] Tolis: Alright, um

Did you just send her that? Yeah! You sick fuck! Yo, there was someone on Yeah, I did. There was someone on this dating app. 

[02:12:33] Tolis: Why so funny? Yo, 

hold up, time out, time out. That was the sickest video clip ever. Time out. Like, where it went to? I need to share this. Sure. Yo, there's someone, I just was I was looking at chicks on his dating app, Mike's looking at, and there was a chick named Wenny, so he liked her, and then sent her a message and said, Penny Wenny.

That was pretty good. Bro, you gotta understand, totally, 

[02:12:59] Eldar: you gotta understand that, like, I took this 

[02:13:01] Harris: shit Penny Wenny, question mark. Pyrus, hold 

[02:13:03] Toliy: on one second. Yo, Mike. No, that was for sure a part of Gummy, 100%. 

[02:13:08] Eldar: You guys ate an edible or no? Yes, bro. I, I took this shit so seriously. You gotta listen. Yeah. 

The, I was listening.

Focus was like, yeah. I was like, wait, I [02:13:20] better not miss anything he says, because I gotta, I gotta deal on my best 

[02:13:22] Toliy: behavior here and give the answer. Yeah. Like he broke it to him that he realized that his friend, like, throw shit on everybody. Right? Like, like that. That's where, up, where like he grabs his.

Like The place where it went. I 

thought this mother fucker had a 

[02:13:37] Toliy: psychological issue. 

And we're like, he's 

[02:13:40] Toliy: saying the wrong 

shit. And then we go through it. She can't hear him and he fucking spits. Like Like that. He's trying to control his spout. You know? It went to like a Water issue. Like it's a Cuz, what the fuck, man?

I thought you was gonna be bad at something. Yeah. We're like, you know. Okay, okay, about this? And what advice did you give him, you know? Like, bro, 

[02:14:05] Toliy: I lost my shit immediately. As soon as he started saying, he lifts his shoulder like, uh You know? I was like, where the fuck is this going? 

[02:14:14] Eldar: Like, you know, less, more.

But he, bro, I understand the shoulder thing is okay, fine. Like thing with shirt. Yeah, but there's more like, okay, but what, wait before you go to the other stuff. Okay. What advice did you give? Tell me. Wear like those masks. Covid mask. Covid mask. No, I The same 

like what practical advice did you give? Yeah.

Don't drink water before the date. Yeah. Like I started thinking about it. What advice? 

[02:14:39] Tolis: Like, bro? No, no, there's one more. Okay. Because like. Then I said to him, like, uh, like, try to dance with her. Here 

we go.

[02:14:54] Tolis: She was like on me. Like she was talking with me and she was behind here. And I saw him like doing like , like grabbing and like grabbing like something like, I don't know, a burger or something, you know, . And I said like, I, okay, I saw that. And then like the way he was dancing was like, like very weird dancing

Yeah. So after all this night, the next day we went for a coffee and he told me, alright, that girl told me, please don't. Uh, don't ever like, um, let him like touch me again. Don't let him like talk to me again. Okay. I said like, okay, this is normal. Every girl says that to him 

[02:15:40] Eldar (3): in the beginning. 

[02:15:41] Tolis: But right now I, I saw what, what happened the whole night.

No. 

Yeah. 

[02:15:48] Tolis: Uh, and one more, and he also like, he's trying to drink, because he's not confident, and drinking helps, but he pushing the girl to drink, he order drinks, and he says like, drink, drink, drink, come on, you're not like the caveman man, you have to be kind with woman, like grabbing her like this, that's crazy man, like, They're gonna be scared of you, you know, no matter, be afraid of you.

You know? 

Yeah. 

[02:16:21] Tolis: And I told him that that's that. That's your problem, man. Yeah. You are a caveman. 

Yeah, . 

[02:16:27] Tolis: Okay. You have like to be like, excuse me, like, it's not like, excuse me, it's not gay, man. You don't have like to be the man like crazy. You're not, she's not an animal, you know? Yeah. She's a human. 

[02:16:40] Eldar: Can I wanna see this picture please?

Can you show the picture? Yeah. Can you show us a picture? 

[02:16:43] Tolis: So, yeah. Then I told him, you, you, you dancing weird man. Like, and, and the way you talk like and be like, he was saying like, listen, talking. What the fuck is this man? I, I told him like, yeah. Be like, okay. Like, be like, yeah, okay. If you have some speed, okay.

Like, it's okay. Like don't drink water before 

[02:17:05] Eldar: you go on the date so you have a little bit more dry, dry mouth cotton and 

[02:17:09] Tolis: don't make. Don't try to make the girl to drink, because girls, normal, they don't drink like you, man. Yeah. If you have five drinks Irish girls 

[02:17:17] Eldar: do, right, Harris? 

[02:17:18] Tolis: Irish girls, yeah, they're crazy.

But, normal girls have like, maybe two glass of wine, you know, that's normal. And you can have five drinks, you don't have to push the girl to drink, because you drink. What happened after that? 

[02:17:32] Toliy: You told them this, and then what's next? What do you say? Practical advice. 

[02:17:38] Tolis: I had with my best friend. 

Yeah, 

[02:17:40] Tolis: we said like we're gonna help him.

Okay. Yes. Okay. He was like desperate to find a girl Yeah, he was almost 24. 

Yeah, 

[02:17:47] Tolis: and probably he was virgin He told me he had the one girl. Uh 

[02:17:53] Eldar (3): huh. Well, this was a lie 

[02:17:54] Tolis: from another town, you know 

[02:17:56] Eldar (3): Yeah, one of those stories 

[02:17:57] Tolis: the stories I had one girl and with my best friend like You know, that guy, we were together, he's happy now.

[02:18:07] Eldar: Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. My favorite story. 

[02:18:12] Tolis: And we talk about it because we're good in this. Like we can talk with yours. We're not that bad.

At least like in the start, I can do that. 

[02:18:23] Eldar (3): Yeah. 

[02:18:24] Tolis: The 

[02:18:25] Eldar (3): in the future in the future. 

[02:18:26] Tolis: I'm not good. I'm bad. I'm very bad. 

[02:18:28] Eldar (3): But in the beginning is 

[02:18:29] Tolis: the beginning I can't do that. It's very easy for me. Okay, I can act you know, I can be like 

[02:18:33] Eldar: Yeah, I 

[02:18:37] Tolis: can talk easy like I can like say the story that they want to hear 

yeah Yeah, 

[02:18:47] Tolis: but I'm faking like, you know, I'm saying I'm saying bullshit 

yeah, 

[02:18:50] Tolis: I'm not being real It works.

Yeah. 

[02:18:56] Tolis: So, uh, with him, we did it like, with another, like, maybe six, seven girls. 

Mm hmm. After that. 

[02:19:04] Tolis: Yeah. 

Okay. 

[02:19:06] Tolis: Every girl, she came to me and she told me, don't, don't let, don't let him. 

[02:19:13] Eldar (3): Touch me. All the girls. 

[02:19:15] Tolis: All the girls. He was doing the same thing. Okay. He was still weird and no doing this crazy. The crazy work.

Yeah. Right. So it didn't make sense. 

[02:19:27] Toliy: So one plus one advice did not work, right? 

Yeah. 

[02:19:30] Toliy: And why wasn't that one plus one for him?

[02:19:36] Eldar: Why it didn't work cause you said like, you know, like practical advice, simple solutions, but it didn't work. Yeah, it 

[02:19:43] Toliy: didn't work. Why not? Why not? Cause why, how can simple solutions, simple terms, not work. Cuz sit there. Okay, cuz move there do this. Why did that not work for him? 

[02:19:57] Tolis: Yeah, it didn't work actually.

Yeah, and with my friend we said like after so many girls we said like the signs Put the hands up, you know, we don't know what to do. 

[02:20:08] Eldar (3): Yeah put the hands up Yo, 

[02:20:10] Harris: why are you 

[02:20:10] Tolis: fucking, we, we don't know what to do. You, you, you are, you are hopeless. You know? Yeah. That's it. 

[02:20:18] Toliy: But why didn't the, the easy advice, like the 1, 2, 3 advice work, 

[02:20:24] Tolis: it's not an advice like Yeah.

Tequila. Yeah. It actually didn't work. 

[02:20:30] Eldar: You see? 

[02:20:31] Eldar (3): But you know why you said the story in the first 

[02:20:32] Eldar: place?

How many drinks did you have? 

[02:20:39] Tolis: It doesn't matter. I forgot. I think 

four. Oh shit. 

[02:20:42] Tolis: Doesn't matter. Yeah. So you, you're saying to me like it didn't work. But if I was saying all this, you guys talking about theories gravity and stuff, it would work. 

[02:20:53] Toliy: Yeah

There's probably Um, much bigger problems at bay, right? And maybe there would be a much longer, like, process and like, uh, like asking a lot of questions and learning about a lot of different things and not just saying, 

[02:21:13] Eldar: don't do the handle. Yeah, it's not the spitting or the sitting. Yeah. It's who he is.

It's what's causing him to spit and sit like that. Yeah. That's who he is as a person. The reason he behaves like that. You're like, oh shit. Is the problem. Yeah. The reason why he is because of the way he is. That is just like an action. And that is not gonna solve, and by you just telling him, don't speak like this, is not gonna solve that.

If you eat and you take a shit, is it because you took a shit or is it because you ate and then you took a shit? There's a result. What are you talking about a result of a bigger bigger issue? Something caused him to behave like this. Yes. He didn't just behave like this. Naturally. Yeah, there's a big problem insecure low self esteem Trauma trauma, right small Chiwi, you

know

You love me. I love you, man. You own the same cars? So you didn't, you, like, you proposed an argument, but you, you know, you're trying to say, you're trying to, you're trying to solve the car. The car is wet. You're trying to wipe it with a towel while it's raining. You're not fixing the rain problem, putting the car in the garage.

You're trying to fix, you're trying to drive a car while it's raining outside. 

[02:22:33] Tolis: Which one? The blue sir, on the right.

It's not like the best good looking man in the world, you know? He doesn't look like him. He doesn't look 

[02:22:43] Eldar (2): terrible. 

[02:22:44] Tolis: He doesn't look like right now. It was like five years ago later. Oh, he's a 

[02:22:49] Eldar: Neanderthal blue shirt. 

[02:22:51] Tolis: Right now it's like this. Okay. He's like, 

[02:22:54] Toliy: what does he look like? Elder quick? Let me see. And no, 

[02:22:57] Tolis: let me see.

[02:22:58] Toliy: And don't get this wrong. You'll see just the face. Come 

[02:23:03] Eldar: on, everybody. You see, don't say it. Let me think. Let me see. Art of mobile. 

[02:23:09] Toliy: It's a hard one, but they look the same. Mike UFC fighter. He speaks with an accent. The UFC fighter? Yes. Yes. Yes. He does not speak good English. Yeah, he looks like a kid, man.

Okay. We just watched them fight. Elder. Eon Kutubala? 

[02:23:34] Eldar: Oh my god. A little bit maybe, but no. He looks like him. I gotta go, guys. Alright, Mike. Thank you. So, you said, hey, look, we usually provide very simple advice and to the point. We're saying that 

[02:23:48] Tolis: it's not going to work every time. 

[02:23:50] Toliy: Well, it's not even that it's just that yeah, like these things that we'd label as like simple advice is actually very very Complicated.

Yeah, very difficult to understand like like if I like if for example others says hey cuz okay like the solution to all your problems is to be humble Yeah, 

[02:24:12] Tolis: but we're 

[02:24:13] Toliy: humble. So how, how does that sound to you? Okay. 'cause mm-hmm. I am humble now, right? Or like, yeah. How are you gonna show that you're humble?

Right? Like, you're gonna have a hard time 

[02:24:21] Tolis: even taking that information, even if this more humble, it doesn't make sense to you. Yes, but I'm just saying 

[02:24:24] Toliy: that like, giving someone direction. If like, like if you want to get money or you want to have money, and I'm like to just, just go find a good job, man.

You're gonna look at me and be like, you an idiot. Like you are gonna say I'm an idiot. Like, what are you talking about? Do you know? How hard is it? There's no jobs increase. There's this like, I don't have like this, like they're not even hiring for this like. You're going to feel a particular way, but to me, I'm saying like simple advice, just, just go get a job or like to it, to anyone.

Yeah, you could say it right 

[02:24:57] Tolis: to the bottom. I want you guys to, to help me. All right. 

[02:25:00] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:25:01] Tolis: Do 

[02:25:01] Eldar: you think that we can help you? 

[02:25:04] Tolis: Not right now, 

[02:25:06] Toliy: but you believe this? Not yet. I have to believe it. Not yet. He's looking to see what he could do to believe it. I don't think he believes it. I, 

[02:25:16] Tolis: I told that before. And I'm telling that again, if not this.

Then what 

[02:25:24] Eldar: but you also said earlier that you said you guys are not saying anything. 

[02:25:28] Tolis: Yeah, that 

[02:25:28] Eldar: makes sense to me Well, that's what I'm saying. So it's like you have to if we're not saying anything. How can we help you cause I can't 

[02:25:37] Tolis: I think you're gonna find the way you think to make Yeah, I think you guys are you think we're looking for the way or we already know 

[02:25:44] Eldar: the way

[02:25:48] Tolis: I think you're looking for the way You think we're looking for the way come on because you don't know how to make me

understand, you know, 

[02:26:00] Eldar (2): yeah, 

[02:26:02] Tolis: you ask, you're waiting for me like to ask questions and you can understand and then you're gonna find the way to make me understand 

[02:26:15] Toliy: what do you think that we're, we're making you ask the questions, maybe that's the goal

[02:26:26] Tolis: right now. I think you don't know the way you by by listening. You're gonna find a way eventually, but right now you don't have the solution my problems. 

[02:26:40] Toliy: Yes Yeah, I feel like it's the opposite. We have the solution from the first day, but you can't but you can't hear You have headphones on you're playing music and we're like This is how it sounds like right now 

[02:26:55] Eldar: He's trying to read the lips.

[02:26:56] Toliy: Yeah, you can't hear us right now. 

[02:27:02] Eldar: You believe him 

[02:27:03] Toliy: Do you, do you see the, do you see the Harry Potter movies cuz or no? Every. Every? Yeah. Do you remember when No, he didn't see it. 

No? No, he didn't see it. 

[02:27:12] Toliy: Okay, maybe he'll remember the scene. From the commercial. Yeah. What you mean? Do you remember when Harry was in that, in the Goblet of Fire?

And he had that golden egg, everybody got the egg and they had to go figure out what's the clue? 

[02:27:26] Tolis: Yeah. 

[02:27:26] Toliy: And when they opened the egg, what happened? Scream. Scream. What happens when he went into the water? With the egg and he went into the bath. 

[02:27:34] Tolis: We're singing. 

[02:27:36] Toliy: That's what's happening. 

Oh my god. Same egg

Do you remember that scene out there or not? I know what you're talking about. Yeah, you remember this you've told this before 

[02:27:47] Toliy: Yeah, I remember the scene before it goes Yeah, when you open it, you have to slam it shucks. I'm so fucking scary and annoying I'm gonna go on the water and then and then it's a beautiful hurdle the dead girl the ghost.

Yeah, what do I do? And he's like, well, you know, this person, like she gave him a hint and she's like, why don't you try going underwater or something, right? He took it underwater, he opened it, and it's a marvelous harmony, beautiful voice, right? Same egg. Right now we're above the water. We bring, go underwater.

You're going to hear something different from the same thing 

[02:28:25] Eldar (2): because I don't know man. You don't believe okay 

[02:28:30] Tolis: You give me an example like a magical example again. No, but that's what's happened. I'm gonna do it do it I don't see that How did he 

[02:28:38] Toliy: end up in the bathroom and how did he end up going it somebody told him for a lot of things?

But think about it, he had to go and venture off into the girl's bathroom out there. Oh my god. This is, this girl is a dead girl, Myrtle. 

Yeah. 

[02:28:52] Toliy: Yeah, I remember. Yeah. So he has to go to the bathroom. 

Mhm. Like, 

[02:28:56] Toliy: and bring this, like, has this idea to go to the bathroom and do, with this egg. 

Yeah.

[02:29:05] Toliy: This is what's happening right now. 

[02:29:08] Tolis: Why is he so convinced? So what I'm supposed to say. Oh yeah, you right the egg under the water. Yes. . Yeah. I You go the, nah, nah, I got it boss. I found the egg. I listen to the egg and I can hear it. Yeah. I had the egg here. Gimme the job and the money. Gimme the job. I'm good.

And I go back to my ex. I had the egg there, now I have it there. He's singing. Yeah. Come to me. 

Yeah, 

[02:29:35] Eldar: yeah, 

that's 

[02:29:37] Toliy: what's going on cuz 

[02:29:38] Eldar: yeah to think about life to be this simple. It's a simplified is to disrespect the whole thing 

[02:29:44] Tolis: Simplify everything why I want to like Complicated, like going that way, that way.

I just go straight, tell me the solution of 

[02:29:54] Toliy: that shit. Yeah. But always like the truthful, like the advice that lines up with the truth or [02:30:00] these things are like, they're very easy concepts. Like, man, just all you have to do is go listen and learn. 

Yeah. Like 

[02:30:10] Toliy: that's it. 

Yeah. 

[02:30:12] Toliy: Is that difficult? Yeah. You can't just listen to something and learn and take your time and go through the process.

[02:30:20] Tolis: Is that difficult? Oh my god, when I every time I hear take your time, it's the screaming inside of me. 

[02:30:27] Toliy: Yeah, 

[02:30:27] Tolis: there's no 

[02:30:28] Toliy: time Yeah, let's go. This is what I was saying today the The real practical advice of taking steps and going through in a particular way When when you feel that everything is bad and you come to terms that everything's bad and you feel that way 

Yeah, 

[02:30:44] Toliy: you can only take advice.

That's Big advice big changes immediately right away advice. 

Yeah, 

[02:30:50] Toliy: it's very difficult for you to stay through You just realize everything's bad and now you need big changes right now and you're telling me to go take it slow Are you crazy? 

[02:31:01] Eldar: But that's the thing, right? Because um It has to be the effect of the ego being so big that the answers have to be big enough for the ego But the truth of the matter is the answers in the smallest things.

It's the smallest steps That give you the biggest results. 

[02:31:17] Toliy: Yeah, but the ego 

[02:31:18] Eldar: cannot accept that. 

[02:31:19] Toliy: Yeah, it cannot accept any small steps. It needs big steps with big change right now. If you give me that, it's gonna go down. Right? That's why It's negotiating constantly. That's why, for example, 

Yeah. 

[02:31:31] Toliy: If they always say, for example, Like, when there's someone, I don't know, like, they get wealthy at a young age, or maybe they know someone who's wealthy, who like Well, like, like they'll always say, Oh, like that person has a bunch of yes men around them, right?

Because they're afraid of like standing up to this person and then losing out on the money. 

Yeah, 

[02:31:48] Toliy: right 

Yeah, 

[02:31:49] Toliy: so they'll act a particular way to not be like a yeah honest with that person 

with that person. Yeah Harris hmm put your shirt back on man. Yeah, what the fuck man? Are you serious? You can't be sitting here naked like that.

Shut up, man. Come on, bro. Oh, fuck you. 

[02:32:05] Eldar: Thank you. Everything's okay. Go back to what you were doing. Mm hmm. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna do it. I know you're relaxing. Okay. 

Yeah, you're hanging you're hanging on to the nubbin 

[02:32:18] Eldar: Oh the nubbin is hanging on to you. 

Oh my god. 

[02:32:24] Eldar: Nubbin has its voice of his own or no.

Fuck

Right now his nubbin hurts. 

[02:32:32] Eldar: All right cuz Say something, man. You didn't say anything.

What are you saying, guys? 

[02:32:40] Tolis: Yeah, mind why I hit that button? I joke a lot. I talked a lot for me. I talked a lot. Yeah, no, I 

understand what you said 

[02:32:47] Tolis: though. Yeah, I, I'm trying But you think we just don't understand. You just said you said nothing, 

[02:32:59] Eldar (3): so we don't understand. 

[02:33:01] Toliy: I think you need to hit that button. I think we understand everything that you say.

[02:33:04] Tolis: Whatever I was thinking. 

[02:33:06] Toliy: Yeah. Not, not nothing that you've said so far in the last month has been remotely confusing. Not one part of it. 

[02:33:13] Tolis: All right. But right here with you. 

Yeah. 

[02:33:19] Tolis: What I was never doing in my life. It was saying what I'm thinking right now. 

Yeah. 

[02:33:26] Tolis: If it's bad, good. If it's gonna be, if it's gonna be like, uh, offensive to you, you know, I don't care here.

I'm just saying. 

Yeah. 

[02:33:37] Tolis: What I'm thinking. It's good. So if I'm like really stupid, this is my thinking. Okay, you understand. Yeah, if I'm smart, you know, 

yeah, 

[02:33:48] Tolis: because what I'm thinking I'm saying to you 

Yeah,

[02:33:56] Tolis: I told you you met like I'm getting angry. 

Yeah 

[02:34:00] Tolis: about things. I will never do that 

[02:34:03] Eldar: Yeah, 

[02:34:03] Tolis: again, I would never do that. I will never say that to a person. I'm getting angry 

[02:34:08] Eldar: But you realize that you also getting angry and you're still saying it without saying it Your body language the way you feel is projected in the world and those people can read it.

You feel it.

[02:34:25] Tolis: What do you mean?

Just your whole yeah, the what yeah, I can tell from your body language. She's very 

[02:34:35] Eldar: sensitive person I'm not 

but you read Joe pretty well, 

[02:34:40] Eldar (3): huh? You read Joe pretty well We thought I could 

also tell because you also have an attitude when you get angry boy You got an attitude. 

[02:34:50] Tolis: Bad attitude or good attitude?

Bad attitude, man. Bad attitude. You 

[02:34:54] Tolis: sure? Why, there's like angry people that have a good attitude or what? 

No, but you have a bad, bad one, dude. Like, you get, you might not be able to tell, but you can tell by just the way You you carry yourself at that time and the way but 

[02:35:12] Tolis: i'm not mad about you man 

No, but you take it out on people and you don't mean I 

[02:35:17] Tolis: don't want to kill you I want to kill me when I have this attitude.

I got a place you need to visit It's called burger regional boy I thought I could tell you a little bit about it, bro. You're regional. Yeah 48 hour evaluation pal No, but You gotta get that check man 

[02:35:39] Toliy: Do you know that, uh, Harris told me, that when he needs to switch his meds, he's done this multiple times, he said.

Where, what, was it 48 hours, or? 

What? 

[02:35:50] Eldar: Check himself 

in? No, no, no, no, no, it's like, uh, They used to have like this 72 hour sleep test where they hook shit up to your brain and they monitor it for three days. Oh wow. He 

[02:36:01] Toliy: has to lay in like the, the pod, the, the uh, bed. It's not, no. With wires hooked up 

to 

[02:36:06] Toliy: his head.

It's not 

to change the meds, it's to look at my brain and see, you know, the processes, yeah. So 

[02:36:12] Toliy: he's had to do this multiple times where he has to go and commit. 72 hours of time somewhere else somewhere else to go lay there. Holy name with with wires attached. It was pretty good, man 72 days. He just lays there all day.

Does the nurse jerk you off of there? No, 

what no They're looking at his screen most of the time. Are you naked at this time? 

[02:36:30] Toliy: Yeah, 

I do have like one of the gowns on Yeah, can 

[02:36:33] Toliy: you imagine with wires? 

Well, they monitor your brainwaves, see what makes you kick, uh, What about down there? Oh, no, fuck off, man.

What, 

[02:36:41] Eldar: the nerve endings they don't check? 

Like, if you wanted to go to the bathroom, you had to go with the wires attached to your head and shit. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. He has 

[02:36:49] Toliy: done 

this multiple times, Elder. That's so sick. Can you do that? Elder. I had 

[02:36:53] Toliy: to. Elder, it's a three day commitment. That's crazy.

Like, imagine you're like, okay, Elder, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah. These three days. They did this 

when I was a kid. They wanted to see. If there was any, uh, yeah, malfunctions and is this where the hospital? Yeah. Holy name. He would go in the hospital for three days. That's sick. Laying there. It was good cause, 

[02:37:14] Eldar: for the good cause.

Yeah. He was the, like, 

guinea pig study. Yeah. 

[02:37:18] Toliy: Multiple times. 

Yeah. I was a kid. They, they tell my mom he needs to do this and she would go ahead and do it. Take me to the hospital. 

[02:37:26] Tolis: Right now, I think, like, if I had those wires in my brain, the machine would explode. It would explode, yeah. Yeah. 

It's not what you think it is.

It's checking for, like, uh, if you have any, like, tumors or something like that. There's anything that can explain what's going on other than mental health. They want to see if there's like, you know, something missing. You can't 

[02:37:50] Tolis: control 

something. You 

[02:37:52] Tolis: can't control. 

Yeah. Like, uh, I don't know how to fucking describe it, dude.

TBI or something. Yeah. Tuberculosis? They want to make sure it's not traumatic. Traumatic brain injury. Yeah, they want to make sure it's not. They want to make sure you're not taking medication for no reason. Certain medications. So they want to make sure you're faking it. Yeah. No, not faking it. Oh. If you have something else.

Neurological. Okay. If you're faking 

[02:38:19] Toliy: it. So. Hold on. He ain't even gonna conclude after a 72 hour test. No, they wanna see. It's neurological, man. They wanna see. This guy's just fucking around, you know. He's good. The meds that don't fucking get you high. 

That just fucking, they're happy pills. You know. No, I'm checking for neurological shit.

This is for real, bro. This guy is a mad smart. He's just fucking with you guys. You know? To come up with that conclusion? That this guy is fucking with you? Yeah. Yeah, they check to see if there's anything neurological. Yeah, family trying to look for answers. 

[02:38:58] Eldar: Brother, his case is 100 percent for that. Yes or no, Harris?

You thought about that kind of shit before? 

No, 

[02:39:05] Eldar: what if there's a case you don't like to pretend you don't like the pretend game. Come on, man Everybody likes a pretend game. 

You were faking it. 

[02:39:12] Eldar: No I think he still is I wish I think you still are. Oh my god. That's a different conversation. I 

wasn't on my beds 

[02:39:21] Eldar: All that war boy, that's what you think.

Yeah, that's what you think. That's what i've been told. Exactly 

[02:39:28] Toliy: That's 

[02:39:29] Eldar: Very good. Yeah, that's very good. You see that's a good sign that you just thought said that Totally you you sleeping bro. He's done. He's done. All right, let's do the final thoughts then You have to get to the mic. Why don't you give me some final thoughts on the ego part?

We talked about ego and how detrimental it is sometimes to our lives. When 

you do it for so long, it takes time. And eventually, I don't know, it breaks or you die with an ego. Wow. 

[02:39:59] Eldar: Thank you, Harris. Um, cuz, final thoughts on the ego. Go ahead. Is it real? Is it not? Why is it there? 

[02:40:09] Tolis: I don't want to talk about it because for me it doesn't make sense.

That's 

it. That's a great final thought. 

[02:40:15] Tolis: But I've I think if there's ego out there

if you can't control it and it controls you It's bad. It's very bad. 

[02:40:31] Eldar: How do you know the difference? 

[02:40:33] Tolis: I I think I'm the I'm in a position that I know very good because right now I'm As you say, I'm controlled about, uh, by it, by it. 

[02:40:48] Eldar (2): Hmm. 

[02:40:49] Tolis: How do you know this?

All this stuff that I talked to you about, and you're saying to me, like, it's about ego. 

Yeah, but you don't believe it. 

[02:41:03] Tolis: Yeah. But if there's, if that's real, that you say that then I am controlled and this is not a good thing. Yeah. 

But you gotta get over that denial, pal. No. He just said he doesn't believe the ego.

[02:41:16] Tolis: Doesn't make sense for me. Yeah, okay the world ego Some other great 

people don't got no ego is what you say. 

[02:41:24] Tolis: No, everybody has ego. 

Okay Everybody So you 

[02:41:31] Eldar: if it's controlling you it's bad, but 

it's not controlling him you said but it's hard to believe in it 

[02:41:39] Tolis: Yeah, because it doesn't make sense 

But everyone has an ego, but it doesn't make sense.

God if 

[02:41:44] Tolis: you if you say what you say And it's real.

And why we say ego? We don't say something. 

I can't connect to the Wi Fi network. 

[02:41:56] Tolis: She called you 

out on your bullshit. 

[02:42:00] Eldar: Why we call it ego? It's called ego, bro. What would you want to call it? Well, what is this thing that's playing these tricks on us? What's ego 

[02:42:10] Tolis: means? 

It's just a word that was created in old English.

No, 

[02:42:16] Tolis: no, you don't know What's the letters of ego? 

[02:42:20] Eldar: E G O? Yeah Yeah, what does that mean? Because Greek Greeks 

[02:42:25] Tolis: do come up with this. You know, what's what's E G O? Oh, tell us. Idiot? In Greek. Oh, it means ego. Oh, 

it sounds like it, dude. Echo. 

[02:42:36] Tolis: Okay. G is in Greece. Okay. Okay, so it's aro. E. It's a. E is A. Okay. G and O is O.

Oh, okay. Okay. E. What means? It's basically saying you're an A-hole. . What hole? 

It sounds like it. You're a fucking, a-hole. 

[02:43:01] Tolis: A hole means I. I A ho. Yeah. I go. I. Okay. That's what ego means. I. I. The self. Yes. Okay. 

Great. So. 

[02:43:23] Tolis: So what 

[02:43:23] Eldar: is 

[02:43:23] Tolis: this thing I? 

Yeah. What are you trying to get at man? 

[02:43:27] Tolis: What? It's about you. I. I. It talks about you.

[02:43:31] Eldar (2): Yeah. And what is you? It's 

[02:43:33] Tolis: all about you. 

[02:43:34] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[02:43:34] Tolis: Your ego. 

[02:43:35] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[02:43:36] Tolis: It's all about you. Okay. 

[02:43:37] Eldar: Okay. And what is you what bro? What is you? What do you 

[02:43:46] Tolis: mean? What do you 

[02:43:47] Eldar: what is you then? What what is told us? He's asking what you are. Yeah, well you are what is the what is the compilation of you? Who are you? What do you have that makes you you?

[02:44:03] Tolis: I know 

why they call it. I man why because you got to be right only you ego, man

It's all about you, man 

[02:44:17] Tolis: Alright. Right. All right. 

You don't even know what it stands for, man, but you're saying all he might be Right. Who are you? Hi,

I'm Tous and I'm alcoholic. When you say my 

[02:44:26] Tolis: ego is high, what we say I I is high. High. 

Like high? 

[02:44:35] Tolis: Yeah. 

You asked me that. 

[02:44:39] Tolis: No, you don't get it. When we say ego, my ego is. 

[02:44:45] Eldar: My ego is high up there, so I 

[02:44:47] Tolis: I'm high. Yes. 

[02:44:49] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:44:50] Tolis: We get this, not what it means, you know? 

[02:44:53] Eldar (2): Yeah. 

[02:44:53] Tolis: So if ego, it's real, it means I, 

yeah. 

[02:44:59] Tolis: Okay. 

I am high.

That's what you're saying. No, 

[02:45:04] Tolis: no high like Smoking high, you know high like pedestal above 

other people above 

[02:45:14] Tolis: other people. Yeah, that's fucking ego, bro Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Grab a man. So if the ego Controls you uh huh, and you feel like you're your god. Yeah, and everybody else is ants just 

Yeah, 

[02:45:34] Eldar: yeah, so he's bad.

Well, it's not I don't think it's bad I think it's wrong, 

[02:45:42] Tolis: but I don't know even how is a what's a good way for your ego. Uh huh To even have ego. 

[02:45:50] Eldar (2): Yeah, 

[02:45:52] Tolis: like 

[02:45:53] Eldar (2): how how would it be humble? How would it look like 

[02:45:58] Tolis: to be up there? Like be be a god Your ego's high. 

Yeah. 

[02:46:03] Tolis: But the good way is like to be humble and say, okay, you guys are lower, but you will make it like, not like me can.

Like, you're gonna do it. No 

[02:46:15] Tolis: problem. You're gonna do it. 

I'm gonna do you ain't, you're never gonna, yeah. You never gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. You ain't

[02:46:30] Tolis: Okay, if I, if I don't, no problem, man. You gotta 

keep in touch with her, bro. And you gotta go back. Or, 

[02:46:37] Harris: or you're just gonna fall back into your old ways. [02:46:40] You know what I'm saying? What a sick thing. You gotta keep in touch, man. Yeah, you're gonna fall back, same old ways. You're gonna go back to working at that bar.

Yeah, what's up with this guy, man? 

[02:46:51] Tolis: That, that's, that I don't want to, again, you know? That's what I. I'm here. Yeah, but what 

happens when you go back? Yeah, 

[02:47:01] Tolis: I don't know. That's why I say I got no time Yeah, I need to fix something right now, man. 

We can hide you in the attic. No problem. 

[02:47:10] Tolis: It's not the same man 

It 

[02:47:12] Tolis: is the same bro.

What's 

[02:47:13] Eldar: the name that uh during the holocaust and and uh and hathaway 

Frank Ank, Frank Ank No, Anne Frank Anne Frank You 

[02:47:26] Tolis: should 

[02:47:26] Harris: know this bro, we're 

[02:47:28] Eldar: jews Yeah, I did know, I told you Yeah, 

[02:47:31] Harris: no, you said Frank Anne bro Listen, Anne Frank She 

[02:47:36] Eldar: was hiding like Anne Frank in the gutter No, but Anne Frank 

[02:47:38] Harris: was eventually captured 

bro She was?

Yeah, she died in a 

[02:47:41] Harris: fucking holocaust 

bro She died of like tuberculosis if she was in one of the camps 

[02:47:48] Toliy: What the fuck are you guys talking about? 

[02:47:49] Harris: You don't know who Anne Frank is? 

[02:47:51] Toliy: Anne Frank is the girl that hid in the attic. She's the Jewish girl during the holocaust 

[02:47:56] Harris: days. She wrote like How the fuck does Harris 

know this?

He's Jewish, bro. Look at him. 

[02:48:00] Harris: You're a 

fake Jew, man. 

[02:48:02] Harris: Everyone knows who Anne Frank is, man. He doesn't know. He don't 

[02:48:05] Toliy: care. Let's go tell her then. 

[02:48:08] Harris: Isn't she like an 

actress or some shit? But Anne Frank, yeah, she's, uh, So he wants to hide cousin like 

[02:48:15] Eldar: Anne Frank in the attic. She 

died and her father released her 

[02:48:18] Eldar: books.

Her, her journals. She only has to hide for 25 years until you become president and you give him immunity. 

No, no, no. When immigration calms down a little bit, you know Yeah. Calm down a little bit. Or you gonna get a, get him a gold card. Our daughter and Kat will bring, uh, food up to the attic every day. , no problem.

[02:48:39] Tolis: What if Trump listen to this? 

Good. Good. 

[02:48:43] Tolis: Yeah. Good luck 

finding his address, man. He doesn't know his name.

[02:48:49] Tolis: Good point. 

We'll just uh, he 

[02:48:51] Tolis: knows everything man. 

Yeah, we'll just we'll we'll play you like a hot potato, bro Let's put you in Tolley's house one day. We'll put you in my dad's attic above his bedroom We'll put you in Elzar's We'll pass you around to different attics, bro Put you in the back of a box truck everyday You're gonna be the attic boy Put you in the back of a box truck everyday Drive you around to each house Instead 

[02:49:12] Eldar: of their boy is gonna be attic boy Yeah.

Yo. We'll even set up a computer, but you gotta use the name Attic Boy. 

Yeah. When they ask, why are you called Attic Boy? You gotta tell 'em. I've been an attic. I'm hiding out of the attics, man. I'm one a man.

[02:49:27] Tolis: You done with this ? If you talk I, you think I'm gonna understand what you're saying, man. You gotta 

stay in the attic, bro. We're gonna pass you around to Toy's Attic one night. He's saying that you sound like Far Farmer Friend. Oh, fuck. Far as Gump, you're gonna live in the attics. But you're gonna get the help you need It's just gonna feel feel like a little bit of jail, bro.

[02:49:48] Tolis: No problem. 

Yeah, he's ready. 

[02:49:50] Tolis: Yeah, 

he's ready and build your soul 

[02:49:54] Tolis: To go with other people. 

So with other people where 

[02:49:58] Eldar: you all right So what's the final thoughts on an ego cause no no no ego, but you have ego you confused 

[02:50:05] Tolis: Okay, so ego if it's there. Mm 

[02:50:08] Eldar (2): hmm. I need help with it. 

[02:50:11] Tolis: I need help. You say ego is like everybody Has, right.

[02:50:21] Eldar: Well, I, I don't wanna speak for the whole world, but a lot of people do mostly on different 

[02:50:25] Tolis: levels, on 

[02:50:25] Toliy: different subjects. 

[02:50:26] Tolis: Yes. Like, okay, like normal, happy people Javi go. What? And normal happy people. What does that mean? Normal, happy people. Normal, happy. Like you 

[02:50:38] Eldar: Oh, I do like totally said, in some areas I do.

I definitely do. Do I struggle with it every single day? I'm not sure, probably not, because I think that ego is associated with pain. And if I'm egotistical every day, I'll probably experience more pain. So I try to be humble, I try to be good, you know? So, you know, but then, I don't know, you know? In some areas I'm egotistical, in some areas I'm not.

I hope that majority of my life is not egotistical, I hope so. I hope that I'm doing the right thing. You know, am I, can I give you my testimony that I'm happy? Yeah, I can't complain. I cannot give you a complaint about anything in my life and be truly. I can have a conviction about it. Like I, I don't believe it except for maybe like my body, like my, my, my right side hurts a little bit, you know?

That's true. But it's physical pain and I know it's gonna go away, so I can't really complain about that. 

Getting a little older. 

[02:51:41] Tolis: Yeah. Which is normal. Probably. You do the same thing like my sister does. I ask you a question and you just say like a hundred things, 

[02:51:51] Eldar: but you say your sister's very 

[02:51:52] Tolis: smart. Yeah.

So, so that's example. I was maybe I'm very smart too, then. Yeah. Just like give me an answer, you know, what are you asking me ask me i'll try my best Do you have ego? 

He already answered that man. He said yes in some way. 

[02:52:07] Eldar: Yes. No, he told me like, yes, I'm not ego less. No. Yes, I do. 

[02:52:13] Tolis: Yes. Do you don't have to go like, oh, you're, well, how does that help 

[02:52:16] Eldar: you?

How does that help you? Yeah, it can help you to relate with me. It's more 

[02:52:21] Tolis: simple like, 

[02:52:22] Toliy: no, but how does that help you? No, but like yeah, with, without like an explanation. Like, 

[02:52:26] Tolis: I can do the, I can do another question. Okay. If, if I want to know more. Okay, go ahead. You don't have to explain me like. Ten questions in a row.

Oh, before I ask them. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah right now. I have no question You told me everything so I did a good job

I 

[02:52:47] Tolis: didn't want to know like all this information. Oh He 

wanted to keep asking questions How would you yeah, why not? 

[02:52:56] Tolis: Why not? 

[02:52:57] Toliy: Why not? Why 

[02:52:58] Tolis: don't you wanna I'm covered, you know with just Yeah. 

Oh, okay. No. Well then that's easier. Deep down. He wanted to ask more questions. Yeah. He's okay. Like he's okay 

[02:53:09] Eldar: with that answer and he doesn't need to know more.

That's because you told him everything. 

[02:53:15] Eldar: Yeah. Okay. So I can play this game. This is easy for me then. 

Yeah. Just one. Yeah. One word answer. I just don't think how that's going to 

[02:53:26] Eldar: be. It's not going to do anything sooner or later. You're going to have to want me to expand. I don't see how. 

[02:53:32] Harris: I'll 

[02:53:33] Tolis: do the questions.

Oh, I told you he wants to ask more questions, but you you just give him to it man. Yeah. 

[02:53:39] Eldar: Okay. All right Why do you want to ask the questions?

[02:53:45] Tolis: When I feel like i'm gonna I want to do the questions i'm gonna do your own time 

You know what i'm realizing? Oh, it's the ego again, man. He wants to feel like the smartest man in the room Okay. I could play that game with him. You have to play the dumb guy. 

[02:54:01] Eldar: I could play the silent guy. He's asking me to be more silent.

Oh 

[02:54:03] Tolis: yeah. I got no final thoughts. I don't know. . No, you did rule. He done. He's done. He's done. He did this thing. Yeah. Shit. Fall. I tried this. Now you have to click the button. I tried that way. I tried the other way. I don't know. 

Now you gotta click the button, what you just said. Mm, I got you. What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.

At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.

Any thoughts on 

[02:54:40] Eldar: that?

Any thoughts on that? Yeah. Totally. Give me some final thoughts on the ego. 

Um. Too easy? Yeah. I mean, I don't know 

[02:54:53] Toliy: what, like, what final thoughts, like, uh. 

[02:54:55] Eldar: It's playing its role and it's super necessary. Yeah. 

[02:54:57] Toliy: I feel like you have like a. Well, maybe we collectively have like a, like a, uh, a hundred percent guaranteed, like metal detector to BS, you know, like a hundred percent BS detector.

Yeah. 

Proof. And, um, Yeah. Like Mike went home with the second sandwich. It wasn't really for his sister. He went home and ate it. Oh my God. You know, so I don't know where I was going with it, but there you go too easy. Yeah, I would say ego is, but it's a pretty ego, the traditional thing to say, but yeah, I think it feels that way.

Yeah, 

[02:55:39] Eldar: but the thing is, it's like, it's almost like, like I said, it's turning the ego on its, on its head and use it against itself is probably the coolest or the funnest thing to, to do in life maybe. 

[02:55:52] Toliy: Yeah. 

[02:55:53] Eldar: Yeah. It's one of them. If you have, what I'm saying is this, right? If you finally realized that you were egotistical, and you finally became non egotistical, right, to your best abilities, but then you're using the ego, right, for a hook, to be able to hook others.

Or have fun, a creative specific scenario. You can really enjoy yourself to the fullest because the impressions you can create, 

[02:56:20] Toliy: you're basically using illusion to create an illusion. 

[02:56:23] Eldar: Yes. Yeah. And, um, in that sense, it's almost like it's foolproof because ego will never be able to detect it. That's own ego.

[02:56:32] Toliy: Yeah. But see, like times when you do that to me, like that, like I'm the most mad during those times, I didn't feel that because like, you're like, Using your ego, which like, like when you use that thing, it usually is like Yo, like you're an idiot like, you know, like leave me alone. Yeah Yeah, like you're making it a point to the other person.

I like yo, you're a dumbass Yeah, because you're not someone who uses that. Yeah, like in who you are So when you do it and I feel it that's like, you know, you're dead wrong. You're like, okay 

Done. 

[02:57:04] Toliy: Yeah hands 

up. Yeah. 

[02:57:06] Eldar: Yeah. Okay but but You you understand it's dynamics and you've employed it before yourself Yeah many times and when you do I think you have the most fun Yeah.

Which is the most interesting part. And the thing is, Harris, I'm glad that you're here because we can say anything we want right now and you can agree to it without knowing what we're saying. Yeah. And you can agree to it. And do me a remember it. Oh, fuck you. Yes. You, you won't be able to even remember it.

So it's like plain men in black if you ever sell the movie. Yeah, yeah. Right 

now like 

[02:57:38] Eldar: And we have fun at your expense. 

Yeah. That's great news, man. . Yeah, man. I'm glad someone's having fun, man. And so you can do about it. 

[02:57:45] Eldar: Yes. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're like a pinata 

right now. Yeah. You 

[02:57:48] Eldar: are like 

a pinata.

You're more shaped like one, man. Why don't I go over across the border real quick?

[02:57:58] Eldar: Yeah, so ego is ego your amigo or what no it always is it always is all right Well, my final thoughts on the ego is that's probably the coolest thing ever created if it exists Because you can have the most amount of fun at an expense and when you get to that point

[02:58:25] Toliy: You know, it's also, I just realized out there, when, when you said that, what's funny about it, is like, if two people squawk, and something happens, and then things end up going worse, it's always like, oh my bad bro, that was my ego, and the other person's like, no, I know, it was flaring up, you know, it's almost like a thing where it's like, you could've Mess with that person, but you're not actually messing with that person.

And then no one's mad at anybody, right? So you can, you as the ego identifier, I can see that the ego swearing up. This is why this is happening in the person with the ego, when they get humbled and they're wrong, and then they kind of have that thing. You're like, yeah, my bad, man, my ego, you know, 

[02:59:00] Eldar: of course.

So it's like a very, it's a very funny, but teachable moment. Yeah. Hey, 

[02:59:06] Toliy: You know who Harris was? He was one of those workers on the farm of Napoleon dynamite when he was getting paid 

in. 

[02:59:23] Eldar: Thank you so much. This was great as always.