166. Balance and the Soul's innate pursuit of it

How do people know what balance for them means?

In this thought-provoking episode, Eldar and the crew dive deep into the elusive concept of balance. Joined by special guest Warren, a long-time friend and first-time guest, the group explores what balance truly means in the context of human suffering, personal growth, and societal expectations. From the pressures of social media to the challenges of parenting, the conversation unpacks how ego, pride, and attachments can pull us away from our soul's innate desire for harmony. The episode weaves personal anecdotes, philosophical insights, and practical wisdom, culminating in a powerful discussion about aligning with universal truths to find peace and purpose. Tune in for a raw, honest, and transformative exploration of how to navigate life's imbalances and reconnect with your inner self.

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Chapters

• 4:11 The Concept of Balance
• 22:33 Adapting to Chaos
• 33:35 Parenting Challenges and Life Lessons
• 43:26 The Universality of Pain as a Teacher
• 49:05 The Importance of Balance in Life
• 1:07:02 The Role of Coaches and Team Dynamics
• 1:15:24 Anxiety and Personal Growth
• 1:27:17 Balancing Work and Personal Life
• 1:49:16 The Search for Balance and Inner Peace
• 2:03:56 Athletes and Identity Crisis
• 2:20:53 The Importance of Time
• 2:33:14 Achieving Balance and Enlightenment
• 2:38:34 Concluding Thoughts on Balance

Transcript

[00:00:00] Dennis: On this week's episode, 

[00:00:03] Dennis: The word balance, right? At the end of the day, it's a nice word and I think everybody heard it at least once in their lifetime. But attaining it, it's one of the hardest things to do. It's one of the hardest things. 

[00:00:12] Toliy: Those moments on vacation, they will always feel like the best moments.

[00:00:16] Toliy: 'cause you're not thinking, if you have time to focus on yourself and your own wellbeing, you'll be able to bring that beach with you anywhere you go. 

[00:00:22] Eldar: Holy 

[00:00:23] Toliy: shit. 

[00:00:23] Eldar: Did we just 

[00:00:23] Toliy: talk about a hack? 

[00:00:25] Warren: There's two states that is extremely close to fully balance and only one is absolute balance. 

[00:00:34] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:00:35] Warren: You ready? Yeah.

[00:00:42] Eldar: Today we definitely have a, a special guest on our podcast. Right? All podcasts are special, but this is a very special guest. Why is he special? Well, I've known him more than anyone in his room, right? 

[00:00:55] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:00:55] Eldar: Wow. Um, and I'll, to be honest, did I know? No, I knew Josh a little bit more than I knew Warren. Yes. And then, and then when I met Ia, Ilia introduced me to you.

[00:01:04] Eldar: Okay, so yeah. But it's been how many years for, 

[00:01:08] Warren: since 12th. We've been friends since seventh 

[00:01:11] Eldar: grade. Eighth grade. Eighth grade. That's 13. 

[00:01:13] Warren: That's 1999. That's right. 

[00:01:16] Eldar: No, we graduated in 1999. Yeah, so 1998 because I came to this country in 1997. Yeah, 1998. I met you. And then we graduated in 99 from C. Yeah. Oh my God.

[00:01:27] Eldar: Yeah. So, so we have a special guest. First time on the podcast. We've been doing this for more than probably around five years now. Plus, you know 

[00:01:33] Toliy: what's crazy? 1998, I was five years old. 

[00:01:36] Eldar: Yeah, that's pretty crazy. And in 

[00:01:37] Toliy: 1998, Harold wasn't even born. Uh, I was born in 98. 

[00:01:41] Eldar: Nah, nine, nine year dick. Wow. Wow.

[00:01:45] Eldar: That's pretty sick. You understand? That's so, it's pretty special. You see that? Yeah. You know, 

[00:01:50] Harris: you happy be here? You guys met when I was born, man. For sure. 

[00:01:53] Eldar: War. How we usually do this is, um, typically this podcast is about self-improvement, I would say. And, um, we like to talk philosophy, talk about psychology, the, you know, um, generally speaking, I'd probably say we try to figure out, uh, human suffering, right?

[00:02:11] Eldar: Overall, right? If you were to put one title to it is, uh, we as humans, we, you know, endure different sufferings during our lifetime or during our time here. And, uh, obviously we all have different, um, stories, different experiences. Different pains. Right? And a lot of times we bring out some of these examples on the podcast and we, and we discuss it, right?

[00:02:31] Eldar: And we try to employ what we call critical thinking. Mm-hmm. Right? And reason and logic in order to solve some of these problems that we are experiencing. Right? And if you tune into a podcast, you probably know some of these, some of these problems, right? And a lot 

[00:02:44] Harris: of times they're targeted in a specific direction.

[00:02:48] Eldar: Hi. Well, the reason why, uh, Harris at least feels like he's being targeted right now. Um, he's the newest member of the podcast, right? Rightfully so. Um, he's trying to, you know, uh, integrate somehow and figure us out as well. But he's coming with a lot of baggage, right? Aren't we all? Yes, we are, but some of us obviously have more, and those who are not versed in critical thinking, right?

[00:03:12] Eldar: They've been stepping in the same mud over and over again. Right? Uh, and I think it's, I think it's interesting to have you here because I know that, uh, for a very long time we shared this, um, maybe way of thinking or understanding life and how we do things in order to better ourselves in order to, you know, not take life, not take life so seriously.

[00:03:31] Eldar: Like a lot of people do. You know, we like to have fun. And I think, uh, in that sense, you're, you're special, right? Or your approach to life is special because I think you've preserved that aspect of life. Uh, you know, you take life seriously, but you also know how to have fun and that's awesome. Yeah. You have to, you have to.

[00:03:49] Eldar: Right. Especially in the line of work that you are working with, a lot of the things that you share a lot of times can be very, I'll say serious. Um, can be hard, right? 

[00:04:00] Warren: Yeah, 

[00:04:01] Eldar: yeah, yeah. But you found a way to navigate those waters in, in a more lighthearted way, the best way you can, and then share it with those around you.

[00:04:09] Eldar: So that's pretty cool. 

[00:04:10] Warren: Thank you. Yeah. You know what? I just, I think it's all about balance. Life is about balance. You just have to work when you're supposed to work, play when you're supposed to play, relax, when you're supposed to relax, whatever it is you gotta do, you have to balance it out. 

[00:04:25] Eldar: For sure. And that word, as much as we love it here, right, um, we're gonna have to challenge you throughout, as you can see in this podcast, to probably define what that means.

[00:04:34] Eldar: Because when you say that to a regular person, Hey, Harris, why don't you just balance it? He's gonna say what? I don't understand what you're saying. Really. A hundred percent. We have to break it down 100%. We have to break it down to the first grade level. 

[00:04:45] Harris: Hey, how you doing, man? I'm a dumb ass.

[00:04:52] Eldar: Yes. So, uh, so that's, that's the gist of the podcast, right? Human suffering. We all have it. We all experience it. We're going through shit. How do we alleviate it? How do we do it in such a way where it, it hurts a little bit less? And how do we maybe expand on, on the fun part of it, you know, have fun with it, enjoy it, maybe have fun with it together, share those moments together, right?

[00:05:14] Eldar: Uh, yes. Balance is definitely a nice word, but it's a, it's one of those cliche words, like Yeah. You know, why don't you just, uh, be in the moment? Well, what does that mean? 

[00:05:22] Warren: Well, I'll tell you what it means to me. Um, okay, so for me, it came from my mom, actually, you know, I don't really want to quote her too, too much because trauma, but, um, I remember I was going through something back in the day, years, years, years ago, and she said that life is about, you know, balance.

[00:05:43] Warren: You have to have time with your significant other time with your family, time with your friends. Time with your pets. Time by yourself. 

[00:05:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:05:52] Warren: Time at work, time at play. And what happens is when you are not balanced, one thing takes over more than the other. Why? Because you're outta whack, you're out of 

[00:06:06] Eldar: balance.

[00:06:07] Eldar: But why? But why do we, well, sometimes we gravitate towards one thing. Think it's life. 

[00:06:11] Warren: You know, like you just get caught up running on a, running on the wheel. Sometimes not, not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. What do you mean not good enough? Well, it's, 

[00:06:17] Eldar: it's a bad explanation. You gotta give like a really concrete, yeah.

[00:06:20] Eldar: Why, why does our human psychology tends to put us out balance, right? Like you say, Hey, just life. Well, that's not a good enough answer, especially for an individual who's trying to learn the ropes.

[00:06:34] Warren: Well, that's a, that's a, that's a deep question because here we go. Like, you know, sometimes our priority is work. Sometimes our priority is family. There you go. Sometimes our priority is just every day. 

[00:06:44] Eldar: But why? Right. Why, why? Sometimes our priorities work. Why is sometimes our priority just family. Mm-hmm.

[00:06:51] Eldar: Right? So you start asking these types of questions as to like, okay, so why do we behave the way we do in order to then step in shit and make ourself out of balance? Right? Why? Good question. It's a good question. The a word. Huh? 

[00:07:05] Toliy: The a word. The A word. 

[00:07:07] Eldar: I think he's referring to attachment, right? You think so?

[00:07:10] Eldar: Yeah. So for example, right? Let's hear it. I'm scrolling through, you know, if I'm stupid, I'm, I'm scrolling through social media and I'm seeing all my friends on these vacations, on these trips, and they, you know, having all this fun and they're making all this money. And I'm like, yeah, money is the most important thing.

[00:07:26] Eldar: You know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna get cash first. 

[00:07:29] Harris: Yo, what the hell man? 

[00:07:30] Eldar: What 

[00:07:31] Harris: you're quoting me, man, I am that that's what you're going through. Uh, so war to give you a little insight I brought up on the podcast, I don't know, several months ago that I'm, I, all the guys I went to high school with, right?

[00:07:48] Harris: They're successful suits, you know, BMWs, Mercedes, mortgage brokers, all this thing. And I looked back on my life, I'm like, what the fuck have I done the past nine years? You know, like you were jerk. Uh, jerking off bulls for cash, man, fuck you, man. But, you know, and ELD brought up to me, he goes, how do you know what's really going on?

[00:08:14] Harris: How do you know it's not a front? What's really going on in their life? Are they happy? Do they enjoy their job? Are they stressed? 

[00:08:22] Eldar: He goes, right. So, so what happens a lot of the times is that we start seeing things out there in the world, right? Start. We start comparing ourselves to it, right? Next thing you know, we realize like, oh, I gotta make money.

[00:08:32] Eldar: I gotta work hard. Right? Then you start becoming obsessive about your job, and then next thing you know, you're working, you're putting in so many hours at work and what happens to you? You become out of balance. I was thinking 

[00:08:44] Mike: you guys saying, I have a different thought that came to my mind. Um, I'm not sure if it, it relates, but I'm not sure if it like, uh, fits, but people gravitate to doing things that come easier to them, right?

[00:08:57] Mike: So like, um, what if you doing things that, that come easier to them? Right. How so? Um, well if you're, if you like to hide, like, uh, if you like to work, right? Mm-hmm. Versus do something like, I don't know, spend time with your family, you're gonna work more because it's easier for you to do that than spend time with your family if you like to work.

[00:09:18] Mike: Uh, no, not if you like to work, but if it's easier than spending time with your family. Okay. So there has to be a contrast. There has to be the contrast. Yeah. 'cause like, um, people, like, there's less pain in working. Yes. That might be the thing too. Yeah. 

[00:09:32] Harris: You quoted me again, man. Uh oh. 

[00:09:34] Toliy: But there's also, I feel like the way that things are laid are, are laid out.

[00:09:38] Toliy: Is that I like, I think it's both the combination of people's attachments. Mm-hmm. And then how things ought to be, right. Like there's a certain outline, a certain idea that people have as to like what your life's supposed to look like. You're supposed to, for example, like, not like work, right. That, that's like a very common thing, right?

[00:09:56] Toliy: Yes. Like eight to 10 hours a day, you gotta do what you gotta do. Doesn't matter how you feel about it. Right. Only what, like, probably the last, like maybe what, let's say like 15, 20 years max, was it like, okay to, to like, like you are allowed to stay home 'cause you have, I don't know, some mental health issue or something like back in the day, like what?

[00:10:17] Toliy: You have mental health issues, you got work to do. Whatcha talking about? You think those factory workers Yeah. At those, they're not allowed to do that. Car plants are gonna call their boss and say like, Hey, I'm not feeling well today. I have anxiety. I'm not coming to work today. You know, like that, that stuff back in the day never existed.

[00:10:34] Toliy: People didn't even know like what this was. Right. And then slowly, um, it started integrating into more mainstream society where, where like that stuff is probably more common than, than like physical pains, right. That people have. 

[00:10:47] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:10:47] Toliy: Um, and then it became very like, you know, how people act in the work, like in the work environments, right?

[00:10:53] Toliy: Like how, like, uh, what kind of support they have, what kind of support they don't have, right? Like, all that started to become more mainstream and now more, more popular. And now everyone's like super careful with everything now. Right. Can't say this. Can't say that. Um, so the point I'm trying to make is that I think that people have an outline as to how things are supposed to be.

[00:11:13] Toliy: And then, um, like if you don't think that things could be a different way, you'll never, uh, well, not, not never, but you're not likely to like question things or think, like, if you think that the whole world is right here in this room, right in this like, you know, 10 by 10 space, for example, like right here.

[00:11:33] Toliy: If you think that, why would you ever like, think to like, look anywhere else, right? Like, if you think that this is it. And I think for a lot of people, they've maybe seen how their parents do things or their friends or just like what TV says or what, like, you know, the social media says. And then they operate within those confounds, right?

[00:11:52] Toliy: And then like, yeah, 

[00:11:53] Warren: most people live in a bubble, bro. 

[00:11:54] Toliy: Yeah. And they never think that like, well, maybe there's a better way to do this, or maybe there's a different way to do this, or maybe you can actually enjoy what you do and also be stable financially. Or like, maybe you could do this, or maybe you have the power to do that.

[00:12:08] Toliy: And I think that like some people in society were more like, uh, like, um, like innovative, right? They've chosen to break through that kind of area, right. And they've, um, maybe like painted a new picture for others to consider, right? Like, you could work anywhere in the world and do something online, for example.

[00:12:26] Toliy: Or like, well, Warren came in and he started 

[00:12:27] Eldar: giving me compliments to say, Hey, elder, like, I love what you, what you did like, right? Like the space that you guys have, the friends that you work with, like you guys actually enjoying yourself and stuff. Like, that's a different way of doing shit, but still make money.

[00:12:40] Eldar: He is like right away. What is he thinking about? He's thinking about his girls, his daughters like, yo, I want my daughters to work like that. I, I don't want them to have the nine to five grind, you know, busting ass. Right? So there you go. Like, that's that outside of the box thing, right? 

[00:12:54] Warren: Well, you know, most of the people in the world are followers anyway.

[00:13:02] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:13:03] Warren: So. It's natural. It's, it's, it's almost like majority of people are conditioned. You are gonna go to school, go to college, get an education, get your job. But where does that conditioning happen? Where does it happen? I don't know. Like, I, that's good question. I 

[00:13:16] Toliy: think pe most of the people are followers.

[00:13:17] Toliy: I could tell you they were oppressed. 

[00:13:19] Warren: Tell, I could tell you that was condition to me by my parents. 

[00:13:23] Toliy: Yeah, yeah. There, '

[00:13:25] Warren: cause it was important to get a stable job, work for 25 years, 30 years, uh uh, get a pension and retire and quote unquote live happily ever after. 

[00:13:38] Speaker 9: Oh yeah. 

[00:13:39] Warren: But that doesn't really work.

[00:13:43] Speaker 9: Mm-hmm. 

[00:13:43] Warren: Sometimes, especially if you beat yourself far or it just becomes like Yeah. A dependency. Yeah. Just for survival. 

[00:13:49] Eldar: Just for survival. 

[00:13:50] Warren: Because people don't wanna get a second job. They don't wanna get a third job. Yeah. They don't wanna, you know, suffer in order to get the, to drink champagne later 

[00:14:01] Eldar: on.

[00:14:01] Eldar: So what you're describing is the thing that you just talked about, you are out of balance a hundred percent. So there you go. Right. So I think it's a lot more complicated than just saying, okay, fine balance. Like where and how The thing is most likely because of your perceptions, attachments and understanding about the world made you out of balance.

[00:14:19] Eldar: And you don't even know that you are out of balance. Yeah. 

[00:14:21] Toliy: For, for some people, like, okay, like, uh, like for like what, what you look at someone else, like they may, they may say, oh yeah, like, I'm in balance, but for you, like, their life is crazy. But to them, like, this is okay. 

[00:14:35] Warren: Yeah. So like, and you got the fakers, you know, um, for example, I call Instagram.

[00:14:39] Warren: I call it Instagram, and I call Facebook fake book because people will only portray what they want you to see. 

[00:14:47] Eldar: That's right. 

[00:14:48] Warren: And then it's easy to live a life of a lie because nobody can question it. Because look, here's proof I'm in, uh, you know, first class, here's proof. I'm in Turks and Caicos. Okay, here's proof.

[00:14:59] Warren: Meanwhile, you spend three years saving for that one vacation. Let's just say, you know, so, 

[00:15:06] Mike: you know, or you had to take a deep, you don't have to take a deep to get on that trip. 

[00:15:11] Warren: Wow. Whoa. Not me, but why 

[00:15:15] Toliy: you pointing at me, man? Nah, I'm just saying, man, maybe, you know? Yeah. And, and then from that, from that kind of life, people also get then like, influence.

[00:15:21] Toliy: And now they start wanting that, and then now they're willing to go out of balance and do whatever it takes. Yeah. Yeah. To give that, they gotta give 

[00:15:29] Warren: up their cheeks. Yeah. In order to get by. 

[00:15:31] Toliy: Yeah. So I, so I feel like a lot of people don't understand, like, at all what that means, like balance. And they could say like verbally, like, Hey, yes.

[00:15:39] Toliy: Like I'm, I, I have balance. And then you start like asking 'em a few questions and their life's all, all messed up. 

[00:15:46] Eldar: All kinds of fucked up. It's, it's just, yeah. Like, you know, you're judging their book by its cover. Yeah. Right. The Instagram, Insta, Insta Sham Or a face. A fake book. Fake book. Yeah. Fake book.

[00:15:56] Eldar: You're judging that cover. And that's what Harris is talking about. Right? 

[00:16:01] Warren: So what do you think people gain from that? 

[00:16:04] Eldar: I think like you just, I think what you said is that, um, for the moment they don't have to hold themselves accountable for the bullshit. Right? So they create an illusion. 

[00:16:11] Warren: But let, let's, let's break it down.

[00:16:12] Warren: What does that mean? That's a, that's a, 

[00:16:14] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:16:14] Warren: I'll break it down to I'll give it to you to say, 

[00:16:16] Eldar: yeah, I'll give it to you. I have low self-esteem and I need some points. 

[00:16:20] Warren: Yeah. I need, I need kudos. That's right. I need a pat on the back. That's right. 

[00:16:23] Mike: I have low self-esteem right now. The, I think also it helps, um, by getting the, whatever you guys just said, kudos Or maybe the, nobody's gonna say, oh, you're in first class, you're a loser.

[00:16:34] Mike: They're gonna be like, wow, that's great. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. But you need that, those liars to lie to you so you can sell yourself to lie even further. Like to really solidify it. 'cause you don't really believe it. So you go there and you look for, you need 

[00:16:47] Eldar: somebody else to reinforce that.

[00:16:48] Eldar: Yeah. Reinforce the prison that 

[00:16:49] Mike: you're in is okay to 

[00:16:50] Eldar: be in. Yeah. Yeah. But you obviously, because there's plenty of people don't, it don't, you said most people are followers. Yeah, 

[00:16:56] Toliy: but I, but I also think that like, for them, like may maybe like, they were initially like pretending but knowing what's going on.

[00:17:03] Toliy: But I think that they got so far into it that they don't have a separation between like 

[00:17:07] Speaker 9: mm-hmm. 

[00:17:08] Toliy: What they, what, what like what they're pretending and what they like, uh, like they, they, they've tricked themselves. Yes. Like they first started to trick others. Then now they get to a point where they, they, they trick themselves and they lost complete control.

[00:17:21] Eldar: Wow. You 

[00:17:21] Toliy: know? So it's 

[00:17:22] Eldar: already on subconscious level of like, they're just doing it without even 

[00:17:24] Toliy: thinking. Like they're living in like a, uh, like made up world illusion. 

[00:17:27] Mike: Imagine there was like a, like a social media where be like, you actually say, like, you post a picture, be like, Hey, actually it took me five years to save, to sit in this first class.

[00:17:36] Mike: Like, instead of saying like, regular shit how people say like, oh, this is my regular life. Mm-hmm. But if people were actually to say how they actually, you want, 

[00:17:43] Eldar: you want community notes, like how c community notes would people actually Yeah. Like I if you were 

[00:17:47] Toliy: to do that, I, I I I, I saw some like, recent like ex posts, right?

[00:17:51] Toliy: Yeah. About like, uh, Antonio Brown and like some other people, they were like filming some like, I don't know, music video or like, you know, doing, doing something like that in, in Dubai. 

[00:18:01] Speaker 9: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:01] Toliy: And they flew out like a bunch of girls there, and they promised them, Hey, we're gonna give you guys, you know, shopping spree course clothing course.

[00:18:08] Toliy: We're, we're gonna pay for your rent for the next like, three months course. Right. Like, where you like live, we're gonna fly you there. Fly you back. Like, yeah, yeah. Pay for everything. Pl plus give you cash. Right. Yeah. And then, um, they started sending them like, like angry, like messages, like threatening to like expose them and stuff like that.

[00:18:25] Toliy: Because apparently their team like cut them all off and then like, into 'em, shit, they're showing the messages. And then the messages, they're basically saying like, Hey, like we, we like, like saying like, I don't even have enough money to fly back home. Good. Good. So like, imagine what they were originally telling people.

[00:18:40] Toliy: We're going to Dubai, a music video showing them pictures in the airplane. Yeah. Beautiful. They, they went there. They're they're there already. Wow. And they're saying, and they got stuck. And they got stuck there. Basically they're saying like, yo, we don't even have money to fly back. 

[00:18:52] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:18:52] Toliy: So like, think about, you don't even have, have enough money to fly home in an emergency, but I guarantee you, if you look at their igs and everything before that, it's the best.

[00:19:01] Toliy: It's the hottest shit. Like they're in the most exclusive club. Like, wait, I forgot I'm not 

[00:19:05] Eldar: wearing the right watch. 

[00:19:06] Toliy: Yeah. They, they, they have like cool names. David, David, can 

[00:19:08] Eldar: you gimme my watch please? My podcast watch. 

[00:19:12] Warren: Yeah. I call it microwave era, where people post these things and it looks like, oh my God, they're instantly successful overnight.

[00:19:20] Warren: But the truth is, there's no shortcut to success. You have to work, you have to grind, you gotta put in the pain, and that's how you move forward. 

[00:19:30] Eldar: My podcast watch, 

[00:19:31] Warren: what's the difference? 

[00:19:33] Eldar: It's a rollie with the diamonds on it. There you go. Mm-hmm. So they know. Let 'em know. Soon as can't see it though, they can hear it.

[00:19:41] Eldar: Bling. Bling. Yeah. 

[00:19:42] Harris: You want to tap 

[00:19:42] Warren: it real quick? Let everyone know what you're wearing. 

[00:19:46] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:19:47] Warren: Yeah. So balance. Yeah. That's my word. That's what I think. I think it, you know, especially for me, you know. With my job is very stressful. Every day is stressful. Every single day is stressful. It's, if it's not one thing, it's another thing.

[00:20:02] Warren: And then if it's not another thing, it's something else. And when you think it can't get lower than it already is, it goes even lower. So for me, you, I have to find an outlet and, you know, I, I just gotta thank you, Eldar, because um, for years you've always kept me in the loop. You know, let's go snow tubing, let's go to Bermuda, let's go here, let's hang out, let's do hookah, let's do this.

[00:20:24] Warren: I remember you introduced me to Hookah way before everyone else knew about this. Yeah. It was way, a long time ago. This was at least 15 years ago. Yeah. You weren't about it though at the time. No, no. Nobody was about it. It was, it was up and coming and, and you know, the whole, I think everyone, everyone has their way of alleviating stress.

[00:20:43] Warren: That's right. And I think you just have to tap into what works for you. Like, for example, some people might just like to sit down and read. Yeah. Some people might wanna sit at the beach and relax. Yeah. Some people might wanna party. You know, it's just a matter of what works for you, what puts you back in balance.

[00:21:02] Eldar: Again, that word, that elusive word, the truth of the matter is, um, I'm gonna go, go from this angle now. Uh, balance, like, like, like another word of gratitude, for example. I think it's a level where it needs to be earned, right? You are out of balance for a reason, 

[00:21:19] Toliy: but how do, do people know, like for their own self, what balance for them means?

[00:21:24] Eldar: No, absolutely not. 

[00:21:25] Toliy: Yeah, 

[00:21:27] Eldar: absolutely not. 

[00:21:27] Warren: I think that that's what you mean. They don't know or they just are unaware. 

[00:21:31] Eldar: Well, it's thing it might be the same thing. 

[00:21:33] Warren: Alright. But well, well meaning like intentionally, well, 

[00:21:38] Eldar: well like for example, I think no one knowing does wrong. We could talk about that later.

[00:21:41] Warren: Yeah. 

[00:21:42] Toliy: Like for, for example though, 

[00:21:43] Warren: you teach, I, I could, I'd push back on that. Of course you would. Because in the profession that you're in. Yeah, 

[00:21:51] Toliy: yeah. Like for, for example, your life could be a particular way right now based on like how you work and what, what you do and like, uh, what what you do in your off time.

[00:21:59] Toliy: And there could be a a time where you could say, Hey guys, like right now I'm in balance. Right? But maybe five years from now, right? Right. When you're like retired for example, and you're done and you live, and if you live a different life 20 months completely. Yeah. And 20 months, then you have a new routine, a new life.

[00:22:16] Toliy: Five years from now you're gonna be like, oh. When, when you said that you were in balance now, that would've been out of balance. Absolutely. In five years you would've been like, what was I thinking? 

[00:22:26] Warren: Yeah, 

[00:22:27] Toliy: that was a crazy time. Right now that could be you saying that you're in imbalance, for example. 

[00:22:33] Warren: Do you think people normalize living in chaos?

[00:22:37] Eldar: No. I think that people naturally adapt to chaos. Adapt. Adapt as, as humans, we have to find a way to survive, right? So if it's chaotic, we find a way. We always do. I'm gonna tell you right now, huh? I'm gonna tell you right now, when Harris was giving you those examples of the shelter and all those other hardships that he was going through, you throw him in that shelter right now, he's not gonna be able to survive.

[00:22:57] Eldar: He'll commit suicide right there on the spot. Yeah. You know why? We don't want that. No, no, no. But I'm telling you, you know why? Because he's finally saw the light a little bit. And I was like, that's not life. He's not going back. He's not going back. Never. That's impossible. You shouldn't, you understand?

[00:23:12] Eldar: Because as you level up, like Tolio also says right As you level up, that's stuff that used to be like, oh, okay. Like that's not okay at all. Like that's impossible. It's taboo now. Yeah. It's taboo now. Correct. 

[00:23:24] Toliy: Yeah. Chaos also, I think. But it gives people purpose. 

[00:23:27] Eldar: Yes. But in the moment when he was struggling, he needed to adapt to it, and he did.

[00:23:32] Eldar: And ev everyone should, I think we, we have that, uh, prebuilt in us innate to find a way to survive. So we adapt to whatever does not necessarily mean that we're following the, the path of balance a truth, but we do it. 

[00:23:45] Toliy: But, but it's also like our current, like lives, like, like the routine we have and the repetitions we have on it.

[00:23:56] Toliy: They help us adapt to what? Like, like someone can view as chaotic, but for that person, it's nowhere near what an outsider is viewing it as. Right. 

[00:24:06] Eldar: So it could be subjective. Like, 

[00:24:07] Toliy: like, like, like the way that I'm built, I'm not set out for your life. Right. And maybe the way that you're built right now, you're not set out for my life.

[00:24:15] Eldar: A hundred percent. What do you mean that's a hundred percent? Yeah. You could, we cannot throw you into his environment and vice versa. Yes. Both of you will not be able to survive in each other's environments. 'cause we 

[00:24:23] Toliy: have particular repetitions Correct. And comfort and understandings in our environments and what we, um, do.

[00:24:31] Toliy: Yeah. We're conditioned. 

[00:24:31] Warren: We're conditioned. 

[00:24:32] Toliy: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Um, yeah. That's why I think Al they're saying that like Yeah, if you throw him back in there 

[00:24:39] Harris: Yeah. 

[00:24:39] Toliy: He's already gotten a taste of a much better life. 

[00:24:41] Harris: Like, you throw him back in there, it's gonna be like, 

[00:24:43] Toliy: it it, it's the same thing. Talk about this old 

[00:24:46] Harris: man, like this is where just summer keep end up back.

[00:24:48] Harris: You know? Yeah. It, it, I it's the same thing when they talk about the fighters. Understand what you said. 

[00:24:53] Toliy: Like UOC fighters. Right? Fuck yeah. Like, uh, like Conor McGregor or someone. Right. One once, once you got the money, you can't wake up early anymore like that. You're not gonna train like that anymore. 

[00:25:03] Eldar: So when you tasted the silk sheets Yeah.

[00:25:05] Eldar: Hard. It's hard to wake up at three in the morning to go running. 

[00:25:07] Toliy: Yeah. You're gonna go wake up at three. It's hard. And do all that. 

[00:25:10] Eldar: It's hard for what? Where's the hunger coming from? 

[00:25:12] Toliy: When, when it's different. When you were that poor person with nothing and you slept in the street or like. Whatever you had to do.

[00:25:19] Toliy: Right. Katherine's 

[00:25:19] Eldar: example, right? She used to work for people, right. We have the privilege that she's not working for people anymore. People that weren't so nice, that weren't so fair, just right. Try to send her back people right now. Right. Try to favoritism. She's like, wait, what? Nepotism would be like a 

[00:25:35] Katherine: death sentence.

[00:25:35] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:25:36] Eldar: It's like a death sentence right now. You know why? 'cause she's figured out that she was out of balance and out of whack for a very long time. Okay. Yeah. So more than anything, our podcast and what we do here is try to raise awareness of the pain that you're not even aware of. You might be in pain right now, that you're not aware of.

[00:25:50] Eldar: You know why? Because you've adjusted to it. You've normalized it. You've normalized it for yourself. The things you see, the way you respond, all this stuff, you have to do it. That's why when you retire, it's gonna be a very interesting transition for you. 

[00:26:01] Warren: Yeah. I'm looking forward to it too. 

[00:26:03] Toliy: Yeah. That's like, but but it could go two different ways.

[00:26:06] Toliy: It can go, I think like one way where, where it's like life becomes better and you find like other things that make you happy and you find other ways like to enjoy your life and like better ways of living. But I think some people, they will find the chaos again. 

[00:26:21] Eldar: No, no, no, no. I'm, I agree a hundred percent with you.

[00:26:23] Eldar: You know why? Because at that point they almost become addicted to that. 

[00:26:26] Speaker 9: Yeah. 

[00:26:26] Eldar: And they don't even know how to function any other way. Just like they say when the inmates come out of the jail. Right? They don't know how to, how to behave. They don't know how to associate themselves in society. They don't know how to integrate.

[00:26:35] Eldar: Right? Yeah. Same thing probably for, for maybe cops, right? Or individuals that were doing the same work for a very long time. If you don't know how to. Reintegrate into normal society or the vets from, from armies and stuff like that. Yeah. You go crazy. 

[00:26:47] Harris: Yeah. Yeah. My boy Marine Rob. No, we're not talking about imaginary friend that you made up when you were only in the shelter.

[00:26:54] Harris: Man, he an imaginary man. Stop with the imaginary 

[00:26:56] Harris: shit. Yeah, but no, fuck. When he came back from the Marines, he had a traumatic brain injury. He came back and he ended up getting hooked on drugs and fucking different shit, bro. It's a whole nother life he used to say. Yeah. He goes, they build you up into something.

[00:27:11] Harris: Yeah. And then they throw you to the wolves when you, for Warren, 

[00:27:13] Eldar: right. He's probably, uh, his adrenaline spike is so high on a daily basis that, uh, he probably would have to have some kind of thing where the adrenaline has to spike in order for him to function. 

[00:27:23] Warren: You gotta take him yes or no rock climbing when he retires.

[00:27:26] Warren: You know what? I don't even know. I don't 

[00:27:28] Harris: know. It's just, know what I mean? 

[00:27:31] Katherine: Like, not until you're there. 

[00:27:32] Harris: Yeah. What goes through your mind when you kicking them down them doors? Uh, 

[00:27:39] Warren: ah, man, you know what? It's funny. In the beginning I used to be scared as hell. I used to be so scared. I used to say like a little small prayer while everyone's in the, in the van or whatever car we're in, making noise, like, yeah, hard.

[00:27:53] Warren: Let's go. I used to say like a little short prayer. Now it just becomes normal. But, um, nowadays it's more like because I'm at the finish line or, or I could see the finish line. It's like, let's just get this over with. 

[00:28:08] Speaker 9: Mm. 

[00:28:09] Warren: You know, it's like, I just hope nothing goes wrong. But then you can't be fearful either.

[00:28:13] Warren: Yeah. Because you have to make a decision. You gotta be on 

[00:28:14] Eldar: point. 

[00:28:16] Warren: I mean, you've put on the gear. Yeah. What do you think? 

[00:28:18] Eldar: It's crazy. Plus all the other variables, all in that type of environment. Are you kidding me? All the things, like I said. That's what I'm saying. Like you don't even know that you are all, like, probably the way you function is like you on adrenaline all the time and you just normalize the adrenaline because that's part of it.

[00:28:34] Eldar: Yeah. You know what I mean? You had to learn, like if you throw us into this environment war, we're shitting, we're gonna be shitting bricks. We need diapers. 

[00:28:40] Warren: Don't worry. We have people that do that too. No names. Well, there you go. You got guys that throw up before the warrants. Yeah. There you go. Throw up, of course, have accidents on themselves.

[00:28:48] Eldar: Normal. 

[00:28:48] Warren: That's normal. These, 

[00:28:49] Eldar: these are normal people. 

[00:28:51] Warren: Yeah. 

[00:28:51] Eldar: These are normal people. 

[00:28:52] Warren: Right. And sometimes these are the same people who have been doing it for years too. 

[00:28:56] Eldar: Yeah. Well that's good. That's, I think that's a good thing because to, to be completely de synthesized to that kind of thing. It's probably not really good for your health.

[00:29:06] Warren: Yeah. 

[00:29:08] Eldar: You know what I'm saying? 

[00:29:10] Warren: Yeah, I understand. That's, it's, it's, it's not easy man. And it's, it's hard to even speak about it sometimes because it's like, wow, you don't realize that it's not normal until you talk to people who don't do stuff like this. Correct. And they're in awe of what you do. Correct.

[00:29:24] Eldar: Well, like, like the army people that go over there, kill people, dismember them and shit like that, you know, blow them up and then they come to regular civilian life, they're like, like this doesn't work like that here. You know what I mean? That's all they saw for years. They go, Afghanistan, Iraq, killed 

[00:29:38] Harris: someone in civilian life.

[00:29:40] Harris: Yeah. They'll lose their minds. 

[00:29:41] Eldar: They'll lose their minds. Right. So, yeah, I mean, um, balance is, um, I think to me, like what I was saying earlier is that it's almost has to be earned right. And understood thoroughly in order to then say, you know what? I'm gonna follow the, the life of balance or life of peace.

[00:30:00] Toliy: Yeah. It's very hard, I think to, to actually know what that means, what that is or what that, uh, look, look looks like. Yeah. Because yeah, like if no one ever, like, if you're just looking at what others say or what others do, which I think is what most people, people do, like whether they are, are conscious about it or not.

[00:30:17] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:30:18] Toliy: Like, yeah. Like how are you supposed to come up with your, with, with your own solution to things. Correct. This is like the 1e-05% of people that can maybe even, oh, and we talk about, consider doing, 

[00:30:29] Eldar: we talk about this all the time. Where, where, uh, to be objective about your own experience, your subjective experience is very difficult.

[00:30:37] Eldar: Yeah. 'cause you have a horse in a race, meaning like, I'll give you an example. Um, Joe hit me up, right? He's like Eldar, um, you know, he wasn't doing so well physically, you know, and, um. He needed a break, an actual break from physical activity, mental activity, all the stuff they used to do all the time.

[00:30:57] Eldar: Mm-hmm. But Joe was always, he's like a, you know, he always wants to help, he always wants to contribute, he always wants to lift heavy things and stuff like that, you know what I mean? Like, he's not a lazy kid. Right. Um, so that mentality has ingrained in him, but unfortunately that mentality cost him, cost him, right.

[00:31:15] Eldar: His health. Yes. Correct. So, when he recently called me, right, I was trying to remind him of this balance where he was debating to do the work at his house on his own. He's like, oh, it costs a lot of money, you know, to, to renovate the house and stuff, you know, I'll do it myself. I'm like, Joe, we just went through a crazy thing together.

[00:31:33] Eldar: Like, I'm reminding you that you shouldn't be doing this. Forget about this shit. It's not worth the money. Just throw the money at it. You know what I mean? You have the money, you pull the money out of the, of the house, throw the money at it, let the people do it, let the professionals do it. You know, he's like, it's hard, you know, he has attachment, right?

[00:31:47] Eldar: Yeah. He's like, oh, you know, that attachment is the imbalance that I'm talking about. Where Joe has always been a certain type of way, doer. A doer, right? I'll do it myself. I can do it. You know, or maybe you even attached to money, right? Maybe he was chief bastard too. You know, if you are attached to that, you don't see an objective perspective.

[00:32:05] Eldar: I gave him the objective perspective. 'cause I don't have a horse injury, so I'm a Joe. 

[00:32:09] Toliy: But it's also like the, the, the actual scenario of what's going on is the judgment of cost, right? Yeah. Joe is looking at it from one person saying. I'm not gonna throw this kind of money at this. I could do it myself.

[00:32:19] Toliy: This cost too is 30,000 on the bathroom. What? What? It costs too much. Yeah. Right. When like, and then elder can look at it and saying, well, no, what you're saying is gonna cost more. 

[00:32:28] Eldar: Yeah. Because if you do it, 'cause your health in the state, yeah. It's worth 

[00:32:32] Toliy: a lot more now can cost a lot more than the 30,000 or whatever.

[00:32:34] Toliy: Why do you need this shit? You know what I mean? Yeah. So this 

[00:32:36] Eldar: is why Tony's talking about that you need to sometimes introduce an outside perspective, a therapist or someone who can tell you like, yo, you are an idiot. What the fuck is wrong with you? Right. And maybe in a very polite way, 

[00:32:48] Toliy: you know? Yeah.

[00:32:48] Toliy: It's very hard to like self do that to yourself, that you're, you're an idiot on a particular subject. 

[00:32:54] Warren: Yeah. Well that's why all these high company, these successful companies have board of directors or board members to give advice, guide guidance. Say, Hey, listen, no, we're not gonna do this. We're gonna do this, that so on and so forth.

[00:33:06] Warren: Correct. You know? 

[00:33:07] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying is that attachments to certain things and perspectives and, and, and your perspective about the world sometimes is incorrect. And what happens is, yeah. If you never asked 

[00:33:16] Toliy: that question, right? Yeah. You throw 

[00:33:18] Eldar: yourself off. 

[00:33:19] Toliy: Yeah. And if you never asked like that question or to someone else, or get an outsider who knows what they're talking about, how do you ever get out of that y your own thinking?

[00:33:28] Warren: Yeah. 

[00:33:28] Toliy: Like, if Joe didn't ask that question, he's gonna go, go, go do this project on his own. 

[00:33:33] Eldar: Kill himself. Yeah. Literally. 

[00:33:35] Warren: Right. For what? It's funny, I was talking to another friend of mine about the exact same thing we were talking about raising kids and you know, there's no secret, you know. I'm having some challenges with my daughters, you know, and, um, he's having some challenges with his daughter as well, as well as Uncle Morgan's.

[00:33:52] Warren: He's, you know, he has his challenges. 

[00:33:54] Eldar: Teenagers. Yeah. Hardest years. 

[00:33:56] Warren: Yeah. And, uh, we all talk about it and it's like, I was talking to my friend yesterday and we were like, yo, this is crazy. We're trying to give our children the cheat code to life. That's right. And they don't want it. All Right. They want to learn the hard way.

[00:34:11] Warren: They want to go through the hardship. We just had this episode, the 

[00:34:14] Eldar: unsolicited advice. I'll tell you why we talked about this. 

[00:34:17] Toliy: The cheat code is the hard way. 

[00:34:19] Warren: You think so? 

[00:34:19] Eldar: Yes. Mm-hmm. You are not leveraging life. Yeah. And life's lessons. Yeah. To teach them against their ego and pride. 

[00:34:27] Toliy: Yeah. You asking somebody to be humble, they wanna from people and to, to listen.

[00:34:31] Toliy: Yeah. That's much harder than going to get hit over the head. 

[00:34:33] Warren: What if they're down a

[00:34:38] Warren: semi dangerous path? What is that? And you try to avoid that. 

[00:34:41] Eldar: Define it. 

[00:34:44] Warren: A path of destruction. 

[00:34:45] Eldar: Well give some, give some examples. Stick their finger in a fire. 

[00:34:51] Warren: Friends. 

[00:34:52] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:34:52] Warren: Let's say friends who are not so productive members of society. Okay. Gang members. Okay. People who do the wrong thing every day. 

[00:35:05] Eldar: You don't think you will have opportunities to sit down with your daughter when she actually gets hit in the head with that kind of stuff.

[00:35:10] Eldar: It's too late 

[00:35:11] Warren: though. No, 

[00:35:11] Eldar: she got hit. Good. Right. Good. And then that is, that is actually was telling me about this. Right. Let's find out who's actually who, who you should what, what gang. You should be part of the family gang. Right. That's what you're trying to do. Right. But if you need to go get hit over the head, 

[00:35:29] Eldar: try it.

[00:35:29] Eldar: It hurts a lot more over there.

[00:35:36] Eldar: I hear you. Yeah. I think he, he, he, 

[00:35:38] Toliy: he's 

[00:35:39] Eldar: saying that 

[00:35:39] Eldar: like, no, I get a war. It's your daughter and you don't want her to get hurt. Of course not. Of course not. Nobody does. And trust me. But sometimes, right. The ego, the pride and their attachments to things, whatever their, you know, social media raised them, for example.

[00:35:52] Eldar: Right. They've built an attachment that goes against your family's values. Yeah. You know what I mean? And at the end of the day, you have to say, Hey daughter, these, this is what I'm preaching and this is what I'm about and this is what they're preaching and this is what it's about. And, and I've seen this before because I deal with these people.

[00:36:09] Eldar: They get hurt when it hurts. I'll be here waiting for you with open arms. 

[00:36:14] Toliy: Yeah. But I see. But, but, but see, I think that like you're painting a scenario where you need to be okay with the, like the worst outcome happening. 100% 

[00:36:24] Warren: of that. And also you're painting a scenario from an outsider looking in when you're emotionally invested.

[00:36:30] Warren: Yeah. You have a horse in a race. I get it. The, the, the, it it, it gets a little more blurry. A 

[00:36:34] Eldar: hundred percent. I think that first you, before you get to my level, you have to get over Tony's level. 'cause Tony's been through this many times. 

[00:36:40] Warren: Oh yeah. 

[00:36:41] Eldar: Yeah, he's got like, he's a professional have, he has anxiety for his family.

[00:36:44] Eldar: He's professional at this o 

[00:36:47] Warren: don't we all? 

[00:36:49] Toliy: Yeah. The, the difficulty is, yeah, like to have that conversation the way that elder is talking about it. You actually have to be ready to like, to say goodbye. 

[00:36:58] Katherine: It's acceptance. Yeah. You 

[00:37:00] Toliy: know, it's 

[00:37:00] Katherine: fine 

[00:37:00] Toliy: because on, because I think that only if you carry that kind of attitude, I think that's the only chance you have of, of, for example, your daughter to listen to you because it's proof that like, um, you're actually okay with whatever decision that you, that like, like it's proof that you're not pushing an agenda.

[00:37:20] Toliy: Like nobody wants to listen to somebody that, that has a horse in a race, right? They know right away. So if you bene, if like, if they, if she smells that like you benefit from something, like she would never listen to you because you're giving that advice for your benefit and it means that like you don't care, for example, about her.

[00:37:38] Toliy: So where's 

[00:37:38] Eldar: the balance? Well, there you go. I think that's the key of finding this balance between this relationship right here where she's pulling one way and you pulling the other way. Right? You have to find a way to find a way to find, uh, meet each other in the middle. But, but it sounds like almost right.

[00:37:55] Eldar: Your daughter or your daughters have to get a hit on the head on that side in order to come crawling back to this side. And you might have to watch them get hit in the head and wait for their return patiently. If they already didn't get hit. 

[00:38:09] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a matter of like having the belief that that's the actual most effective, like, like a method.

[00:38:18] Toliy: I think that that's like, yeah. The, the hard part I think to jump over is that that's the actual effective method. Well, I, well, yeah, I, people struggle the most Well 

[00:38:26] Eldar: correct because obviously you know his daughters, he doesn't want to see them in pain. Yeah. But rightfully so. I think because we disrespected the fact that pain is sometimes the biggest, is the best teacher.

[00:38:36] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. Pain. Pain proves to be it. Pain. Pain is the first thing. Right. But then has to come love. Right. And love he has for his daughters obviously. Right. And then he leads with love. They'll become receptive as to say, you know what? My dad is a good guy. What the fuck am I doing here? 

[00:38:52] Warren: Yeah. 

[00:38:52] Eldar: They will carry that subconscious feeling internally into those bad.

[00:38:56] Eldar: Did you feel 

[00:38:57] Warren: that way about your parents? What? You thought your parents were good guys, or you thought they were just messing up your flow? 

[00:39:03] Eldar: Of course they're messing up my phone. Oh yeah. At the time. Oh fuck. See, I wanna chill. I gonna say something. Leave me alone. 

[00:39:09] Harris: Alright. I already know me for while, but I'm gonna tell 

[00:39:11] Eldar: you right now.

[00:39:11] Eldar: I'm gonna tell you right now. And this stayed with me for a while and I'm, it, I think it stayed with me forever. The one big lesson that I've learned from my mom is when I was smoking cigarettes, okay. I was smoking cigarettes with Mike. Where's Mike? Um, it was. Uh, freshman, no second, I don't know, maybe sophomore year or whatever.

[00:39:34] Eldar: I was smoking cigarettes and uh, obviously I was hiding it from my parents. Duh. You know, like everyone else was. And one day we were cutting class, me and Mike, and we were sitting on River by River Road over there having pizza and smoking cigarettes, me and Mike. And, um, my mom's supposed to be at work, but that day she didn't go.

[00:39:53] Eldar: Maybe she wasn't feeling well or whatever. And she's walking right next to us and, uh, we turn around and we see that my mom's right there. She's like 20 feet away from us. Mm-hmm. I'm like, oh shit. And I have a cigarette in my mouth. There's no hiding this. She called me red-handed and I'm like, oh, she's about to fucking go off on me.

[00:40:09] Eldar: You know what she did? You know what she did for, 

[00:40:13] Warren: I don't know. Tell 

[00:40:13] Eldar: me, what do you think 

[00:40:16] Warren: she probably stared at you, gave you a look of disgust. 

[00:40:19] Eldar: You know what she did? She, she turned around and went the other way. 

[00:40:21] Warren: Yeah. She went home. Your mom and she quit smoking 

[00:40:24] Eldar: that day. She quit smoking because she was, she was a smoker too.

[00:40:28] Eldar: Mm. 

[00:40:30] Toliy: Right. Yeah. How's she gonna go up to him until 

[00:40:31] Eldar: this day? This is my mom's biggest lesson, I think for me, where it's like, how can you be a, um, hypocritical Right. When it comes to smoking? You can't preach to your son. Don't smoke when I smoke. Yeah. My mom's been smoking for 20 years. She, I saw the look of disappointment Sure.

[00:40:48] Eldar: In me, but she realized in that moment that she's disappointed with herself. She turned around and left. She didn't say a word. We did not have any conversations about smoking that day, or ever. She quit smoking. I was like, holy shit, I won. 

[00:41:05] Warren: What were you thinking in the moment? You're 

[00:41:07] Eldar: like, yeah, I won. 

[00:41:07] Warren: Are you 

[00:41:07] Eldar: crazy?

[00:41:08] Eldar: I didn't know what to think. The stu it stunned me, right? It's like the blueprint's supposed to be, I'm coming home and being grounded forever and my Nintendo 64 is getting pulled away or whatever the fuck I was playing at the time. That's the blueprint. She didn't pull that card. Should said, okay, she'll learn.

[00:41:27] Eldar: Yeah, but I gotta, I gotta do the right thing. 

[00:41:29] Warren: Right? So what made you quit? 

[00:41:32] Eldar: Because it wasn't that moment. I mean, for my, it wasn't, I kept, I kept smoking. I don't remember my own reasons, but I quit. I think it was basketball. I started seeing the effects that it was having on me. Play basketball. Okay, okay.

[00:41:42] Eldar: Which I like more than smoking, obviously. Good. What one? So, but what I'm saying, sorry, what I'm trying to say is that, um, what, what the type of conversations that we can have with our kit. I don't have kids. I have dogs, but I have listeners, you know what I'm, and one daughter, um, yeah. And one daughter, fuck you, man.

[00:42:02] Eldar: He's in the middle of a transition. So guys, please excuse him. As he is doing the transition,

[00:42:09] Eldar: we underestimate that the type of conversations that come from true love and wisdom can actually be lodged in, into our kids' subconscious. And that subconscious will shine through in those bad moments. When she's in the moment of turmoil in the world where it's like, holy shit, something's bad about to happen.

[00:42:29] Eldar: She will feel that. She will have that gut feeling and that gut feeling is a subconscious telling you like, yo, I'm in the wrong place and I shouldn't be here. My dad is on my mind. I gotta go home. Right? This is what I'm talking about. So if there's ways that you can instill yourself in there right through love, compassion, wisdom, patience, and all this stuff, she will always carry that.

[00:42:51] Eldar: Even though she might not be carrying it consciously right now, the subconscious will always be there guiding her in the right moment. It will shine through and she will find her way home. 

[00:43:02] Katherine: She'll. 

[00:43:03] Warren: I hope so. Yeah. There's don't have to immature have Auntie Kat and, uh, uncle Eldar spanker on the, on the butt, but, but there's 

[00:43:10] Toliy: always one language.

[00:43:11] Toliy: Yeah. Like the, uh, the, the good part is that like you can, like put things in particular words to people. They can either like, hear you out, understand you, not understand, you want to listen to you, not wanna listen to you want to be humble, not want to be humble. But, uh, we, um, you were talking about before, about learning through pain, right?

[00:43:32] Toliy: Yeah. And I think that pain is an effective teacher because, um, it doesn't require you to speak any kind of language to understand it. 

[00:43:41] Eldar: That's right. 

[00:43:41] Toliy: Right. For you to have, like for your daughter, maybe to hear you out or maybe have a conversation with you or you, and vice versa. You guys have to speak a particular lang language that like you can both understand, right?

[00:43:53] Toliy: But pain, you don't need to understand anything. You, you, you can't go around it. You feel pain. And that's also why I think lots of people do things through discipline, right? Because discipline is a form of pain that is a familiar feeling, um, for people, which is why particular laws, particular rules of society, are built through discipline and pain.

[00:44:19] Toliy: Because it's a language that everybody understands. Okay, you do this, you get 10 years in prison, it's a painful experience. You either you, you do it, okay, now this is what happens and this is what the consequences are. But if you know that this is what it is now, it's like, it's up to you to make that decision.

[00:44:37] Toliy: And a lot of these little consequences are felt like every day about like different things that you do, right? If you overeat lunch, you're gonna feel tired and sleepy after then it's like a guaranteed thing, right? Like if, right? So if you have a bunch of things to do and you do that, you are going to feel that pain.

[00:44:56] Toliy: You, uh, uh, play video games till three in the morning and you guys wake up for work at seven, right? You're gonna feel tired, pain, like you're gonna feel pain. That day is gonna be a miserable day now, right? Absolutely. So, all of these little things, this is all a language that all of us experience. 

[00:45:12] Eldar: And we constantly have this conversation ongoing for a very long time.

[00:45:15] Toliy: Yeah. And whether we want to have the conversation or not, like whether your daughter is willing to or not willing to, or you're, you're willing to, not willing to. Pain will always teach whoever needs to be taught those lessons with without choice. You can't avoid it. You, you can't say, hey, like, like, like your daughter can opt out of listening to you, right?

[00:45:36] Toliy: Yeah. She can, but she can't opt out of pain. 

[00:45:39] Eldar: You can't, you know what I'm saying? Or no? A hundred percent. Yeah. 

[00:45:41] Toliy: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:45:42] Harris: It's true. Makes sense. See, we're trying to raise awareness that you in pain. Yes, I understand that. But I'm gonna bring something 

[00:45:49] Harris: up from my childhood. And my mom used to come to you.

[00:45:52] Harris: Yeah. I was a bad kid. War. I mean a bad kid. Like I allegedly fake news. No, I was getting in trouble. My mom always came to El 

[00:45:59] Toliy: first bat and gay are two different things. Fuck you man. No, 

[00:46:03] Harris: my mom, like, I was outta control. I was in L'S, youth partnership. Mm-hmm. And my mom used to come to Eldar all the time.

[00:46:09] Harris: Like, he's doing this, he's doing that. Can you talk to him? Eldar, sit me down. He goes, what the hell are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? You know? But never happened. Yeah. Actually did. We had a couple. This is not the, this 

[00:46:19] Eldar: is not my approach at all. No. What 

[00:46:21] Harris: the fuck are you doing? No, I never, what the fuck?

[00:46:23] Harris: But no. But anyway, my mom, anything, my mom would tell me I did the opposite. And, you know, I started getting in trouble. More and more. Cops called on me, uh, getting in trouble with friends. Uh. Set a little fire in the woods. You know, I was no thrown in. Well, they took us in, they, they sat us down in like the cell area.

[00:46:49] Harris: They searched you? No, they did not check the cheeks war. Okay. They did not check the cheeks war. Uh, but we were sitting there, me and my friends were all scared shitless. Mm-hmm. Uh, you know, and I never got in trouble with the law again. But it made, uh, it made an impact with that, that like, Hey, this is where we could be sitting.

[00:47:12] Harris: My parents had to pay a shit ton of money to get certain things repaired and yeah, that was the kick in the ass to not do anything illegal again. So, yeah, I used to do, I never listened to my mom. I probably did the opposite. And, uh, 

[00:47:28] Eldar: yeah. War. There are moments during the podcast when someone speaks and says absolutely nothing.

[00:47:33] Eldar: What, what the hell flick a very specific button. And this time, 

[00:47:36] Billy: what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. What the hell, bro? At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. That's fucked up. Everyone in this room. Is now dumber for having listened to it.

[00:47:51] Billy: That's fucked up. I'm just joking. It was too pour poured, poured it. 

[00:47:56] Warren: Poured his heart out up. 

[00:47:58] Eldar: I'm saying Warren pour his out. What did he be pour his hair out? War. He lit a fire out in the woods. What did he mean? Pour didn't do anything? Marshmallows, 

[00:48:07] Harris: let's put it this way. Yeah. He was doing marshmallow saying what happens if you kill someone?

[00:48:10] Harris: 'cause the woods was right next to a sports complex. Come on man. He brought like ax cans and shit. Man, stop it. Please stop it. So it was a winter time. 

[00:48:18] Eldar: There was snow on the ground. You're not lighting anything on fire. Please. That's why he brought ax cans, man. Yeah, but uh, yeah, you're invalidating 

[00:48:24] Katherine: his experience.

[00:48:25] Katherine: But yeah, anyway. Yeah, 

[00:48:26] Eldar: because he didn't know what he experienced, babe. Of course it's, it's invalid experience. 

[00:48:30] Warren: I was scared shitless dude. I was sitting in a fucking 

[00:48:31] Eldar: Yeah, but cell, come 

[00:48:33] Harris: on, Don think so. Fair long police station. The whole thing was made up for you, bro. You were. They made it up. It and then Louis bailed everything out, man.

[00:48:40] Harris: Exactly. It was a thing. 

[00:48:41] Katherine: Staged thing. I doesn't bail you out. 

[00:48:42] Harris: Huh? 

[00:48:42] Katherine: I thought he didn't bail you out. 

[00:48:44] Harris: Oh no. Louis always POed strings to get things. Mm-hmm. Louie, you sleep with your mom. What's wrong with you 

[00:48:50] Harris: man? Oh wow. I'm sorry. 

[00:48:52] Harris: Louie's known me since I was five. Man know. 

[00:48:56] Eldar: Alright, fine. Fine. Lou's known me since I was five.

[00:48:58] Eldar: So what are we saying guys? Warren saying Warren's Warren came in here with balance. Trying to shoot up the whole place with the word balance. I'm trying to find 

[00:49:05] Warren: my balance, you know what I'm saying? You guys are part of my balance. I come here when I need to decompress. 

[00:49:10] Eldar: There you go. Very good. All right.

[00:49:12] Eldar: Totally. We can se segue to, to totally wanted to say, 'cause I think it's closely tied to this thing called balance. Go ahead. 

[00:49:18] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. I think it was me, me, me, Harrison, Mike. We we're in the car and I was saying that, um, I think that like, there's three things that like, to me keep almost like society afloat, like in like a way, right?

[00:49:32] Toliy: And those three things were, um, birthdays, holidays, 

[00:49:39] Eldar: and Ann Ann anniversaries. 

[00:49:42] Toliy: Those three things, those are all what days that people put. Like what? No, 

[00:49:47] Mike: you just said it. They're funny. What? Like you said, that those are not the three things. That's one of the things. 

[00:49:51] Toliy: Yeah. That, that, that's one of the three, like that, that bundle right there.

[00:49:55] Toliy: Like these is like days are things that people put like an emphasis on, right? To like do something special or do something different, and may maybe even like, act a different way as to how they would typically act. Like, oh, you gotta be nicest person to today, today's an anniversary, today's a birthday, right?

[00:50:14] Toliy: Like, plenty of times in my family, everybody will talk like shit, like shit to each other. But then on that person's birthday, everyone's all nice, 

[00:50:23] Speaker 9: fake, right? 

[00:50:24] Toliy: Everyone's all like respectful, kind, caring, right? Compassionate. Next, next day, back to normal, right? So these like anniversaries do something special for someone.

[00:50:35] Toliy: Holidays, um, and all the stuff like, it's baked into society, I feel like, almost to like a, to help people for balance, right? Like there's just like 10, 10 or 11 federal holidays a year for balance a year, right? Plus, plus the anniversaries and birthdays for people helps on vacations too. Yeah. And yeah, and vacations.

[00:50:55] Toliy: These things help contribute towards people's like sanity, balance Yeah. And their vanity of what's going on there. You sanity, sanity. Sanity. Sorry. Sanity. What the hell you drunk. Um, of what's going on, right? Um, I agree with that. And, and yeah, so that, that was one of them. Um, the second one was ignorance, right?

[00:51:15] Toliy: People's like ignorance to, to things. And that's kind of what we were talking about before, is that like people only know what they know, right? Like they don't know anything outside of that. And if what they know, like, um, it, it could be helping contribute towards like a non truthful life and if that's what's going on, the fact that they're ignorant to what's actually real and what's actual reality, right?

[00:51:39] Toliy: Like maybe as an example, for example, like whatever your daughters are doing or get or like, uh, getting mixed up with, they don't know the reality. Of what it actually is. They have their own bubble as to like, oh, we're just trying to party, or we're just trying to hang out. Or like, it's not that bad, like, or like, whatever it is.

[00:51:57] Toliy: Right. They may not see the picture that someone else like you might see, for example. Absolutely. Right. So they live in their own, what they consider reality, but it's, it's ignorance. Like they're ignorance to what could happen or what, what, what's out there. Right. And um, the third thing, Mike, good luck and luck, right.

[00:52:17] Toliy: Um, luck was the third, third thing, and I feel like oftentimes when something happens to somebody, right? Like, um, a small example was this was like we were eating, um, not yesterday, but the day before me, Mike and Harris, and Harris spilled like some like ketchup or some white sauce, but what the hell? Hell Bud and Harris 

[00:52:38] Eldar: white sauce.

[00:52:39] Mike: But in his defense, yeah, on his pant, he wasn't actually eating, I think it was inhaling. He was inhaling 

[00:52:45] Toliy: the food and he, hes, he spilled some on his, um, pants, right? And he used expressions, like, I'll see just my luck. Right. And a lot of the times in different moments of someone's life, they credit good or bad luck for particular things.

[00:53:01] Toliy: Usually in the way that it's, I think used more frequently is in a bad luck way. Right? Yeah. Luck is an explanation to certain people for things, right? So like when people say 

[00:53:12] Warren: karma too. 

[00:53:14] Toliy: Yeah, yeah. For example. But like for example, like if you do particular things at work, I. That lead to you not getting a promotion, but you are thinking you're gonna get a promotion.

[00:53:25] Toliy: Right. And you don't get it. Now when this happens, you need an, everybody needs an explanation to things. They, they can't not like something can happen. And like everybody here has to have an explanation for everything. You can't like move on with your life without it. So if you were gearing up for promotion and you didn't get it, you might say, oh, it was just bad luck, for example.

[00:53:46] Toliy: Or like, they didn't choose me like it was just, wasn't in the car something. Well, that's just a cop out. It's a Yeah. It's, it's a, it's, it's a lazy excuse. Yeah. Well, yeah. It's, it's their explanation for what's going on. No, but 

[00:53:57] Eldar: no, no, no. It's a ignorant, like a ignorant No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's a, I mean, for the lack of a better word, it's a stupid person's, uh, reasoning way of no thinking ing.

[00:54:08] Eldar: I think it's a lazy, that's what it is. It's a lazy Yes, it's 

[00:54:11] Mike: a lazy excuse. 

[00:54:12] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. But, but whatever it is, it's, it's comes from stupidity. 

[00:54:15] Toliy: Yeah. But lots of times, well, yeah, laziness 

[00:54:17] Mike: is due to ignorance. 

[00:54:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:18] Toliy: Yeah. But lots of times I think that people use, use this to explain why something's happening.

[00:54:24] Toliy: And because they use this bad luck, for example, component to it. They, they, they think that they did everything right and they didn't get the result they're looking for because of bad luck. So you actually did everything that you were supposed to for the job. Right. And it's bad luck. Or, or they could use it in a different world.

[00:54:42] Toliy: Like, oh, they're hating on me, or like, they don't want me to succeed or something. Right. Where like they feel like, almost like I. They're doing everything right, but the world is like oppressing them, 

[00:54:52] Eldar: for example. Yeah. Right. Well, I think what it is is that I think we are naturally wired. Our brains and our minds are wired in such a way to look for causality.

[00:54:59] Eldar: Yes. To find what causes, what if this then that. Right? Yeah. The explanation. Explanation for what's actually going on in the world. We're trying to explain that. And at times when we can't find it, we'll use things like karma. Yes. Bad luck or whatever it is to kind of blanket it. A miracle. A miracle, yeah.

[00:55:16] Eldar: All these little things. Yeah. God right. Will have whatever it is. You know, 

[00:55:21] Katherine: I think it's, it's a way to try to control something that you didn't have control over in a, in a sense well not control over make sense of 

[00:55:27] Eldar: Yeah. Like, you make, 

[00:55:27] Katherine: make sense of something that you in the moment. Yeah. 

[00:55:29] Eldar: Like, you, you make sense?

[00:55:30] Eldar: Well, yeah. No, no. You didn't do a good job of sitting down and taking your time to find out and investigate as to actually what happened in the world. Well, yeah. You don't actually 

[00:55:37] Toliy: know what's going on and what, why is happening. So if you, for example, in 

[00:55:42] Eldar: his example of, uh, not getting a promotion, maybe you are fearful to come and go into the boss's office and say, Hey boss, can you explain to me why I didn't get a promotion?

[00:55:52] Eldar: Because I was working so hard towards it. I want an explanation. Right. So if you have a fear, right, that you're not willing to confront in that moment, you will use this cop out excuse just to say, oh, it's bad luck. But really you don't wanna just address the fact that you're scared shitless of your boss.

[00:56:06] Eldar: Mm-hmm. For example, like that's an example. Right. 

[00:56:11] Toliy: Y Well, yeah, that, and you, that's one of the reasons you could also be thinking that, that like, you actually are doing the correct things and you're just not getting it. So no, you could be under wrong impression. And now, yeah, now, like you, you like, uh, you need an explanation as to why, and you can't be like, yeah, I actually didn't get it because like, I'm a dumb ass and I've been doing the wrong shit, for example.

[00:56:32] Toliy: Right? Or like, like, you can't come out and say that. So you need these Bs ex explanations as excuses so that you don't feel bad about what's going on. So like, luck, luck contribute. Like the idea of luck, for example, contributes towards people's like sanity almost, because then it, no, but it's absolves responsibility.

[00:56:51] Toliy: You 

[00:56:51] Eldar: know what, most of the time it's a, and it's an external, a social, um, construct because you don't, most of the time you don't go like, oh, that was bad luck to yourself. Usually you vocalize it. It's to say, if somebody asks you like, Hey, how come you didn't get that promotion? Uh, you know, not lucky. I was just unlucky.

[00:57:08] Toliy: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Now, when that happens though, it, it, it doesn't, it, it prevents you from learning, right? Because why ha Why do you have to learn anything if it's bad luck? What? What do you mean? Well, that's the thing. Why do you have to learn? If you're 

[00:57:21] Eldar: in a social setting where you have an individual who's maybe inquisitive like you, if Harris came to you and said, oh, hell's bad luck, you're gonna say, what do you mean by that?

[00:57:29] Eldar: And then next. So, you know, you're like, oh shit, I gotta think about this. What do you mean by that? Like, you are not gonna accept that word as like, what actually happened here? You're gonna start digging. 

[00:57:38] Toliy: Well, yeah, like, well, so when he said that, right? Like, I think everybody here would associate Harris as being a very fast and sloppy eater.

[00:57:46] Toliy: A hundred percent. So him getting ketchup on his pants, it's a 

[00:57:49] Eldar: natural phenomenon. It's normal. It's a perfectly normal occurrence. I, man, and it's 

[00:57:52] Toliy: supposed to happen. 

[00:57:53] Eldar: Yeah. You are walk, walking, talking ketchup bottle, bro. Yeah. 

[00:57:57] Toliy: Fuck yeah. Right? So, like, that, that to us is like, what are you talking about? Man?

[00:58:01] Toliy: It's not bad luck here. 

[00:58:02] Harris: It's you. 

[00:58:03] Toliy: My 

[00:58:04] Harris: two minutes, 

[00:58:05] Toliy: shit 

[00:58:05] Harris: gone. 

[00:58:06] Toliy: Every ev everything that you're doing is leading up to those actions like that. That's a very small example, but this idea of unlucky or lucky or luck or this or that. Yeah. But accepting that about yourself 

[00:58:16] Eldar: is sometimes difficult. 

[00:58:18] Toliy: Well, yeah. It, it, it, it's d You're not gonna say, ah, I'm a fucking idiot.

[00:58:21] Toliy: Well, well, no, it's, it's, it's difficult. But that reply is a trained re is is a trained reply that people have to protect the 

[00:58:29] Eldar: ego 

[00:58:30] Toliy: Well, well, yeah. To protect the ego and give people a reason. That's very understandable as to why something is happening. 

[00:58:37] Eldar: No, uh, the, the most people not, this is like most 

[00:58:42] Mike: people, this is an example of it's not gonna work in this circle.

[00:58:45] Mike: This like a, it's like a, to me, I hear it as like you put a period on it and then you don't have to visit it. Why would you have to, it's, it's again, against a Socrates thing that comes to mind is like, uh, if you stumble upon the truth or you got some white cream on your pants, don't just off shrug it off, man.

[00:59:02] Mike: Find like, I mean, you don't have to, but you should find out what the hell is happening. Why every time I go I eat, um, it doesn't have, I'm covered in some kind go. It doesn't happen every time, 

[00:59:13] Harris: man. It happens once in a while. Maybe 

[00:59:15] Eldar: he always goes to the same restaurant and he really likes the waitress.

[00:59:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:59:18] Toliy: If, if, if you just get a car wash 

[00:59:21] Speaker 9: mm-hmm. 

[00:59:22] Toliy: And then you park your car and a bunch of birds shit on your car, you could like say, okay, unlucky. Right? Or like, all right, like this does, this happened, right? Like yeah. That's your explanation as to why this happened. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Now, if you have BHA in your car every day, right?

[00:59:38] Toliy: You have to examine it. Go, are you parking under, under the tree? What's going on here? Is this a man right here feeding birds? Is there, is there a whole nest here or something? Or is this like, like, right, like you have to go and like investigate. But like, um, when, when, when you attribute things to lucky or unlucky, that's it.

[00:59:54] Toliy: Yeah. Like Mike said, you put a beard on it and then you never have to go look and see what's actually happening here. Are you being dumb? Are you doing the wrong things? 

[01:00:02] Eldar: So what he's saying is that you actually in very good hands, Harris. 'cause around this group, your bullshit is not gonna fly. 

[01:00:08] Harris: Yeah. I already know this 

[01:00:09] Eldar: man.

[01:00:09] Eldar: Okay, good. Right. War. Tell him, remind him of this. 

[01:00:15] Harris: I already know this, man. Yeah. Look, I'm called out on everything, man. 

[01:00:18] Eldar: Look, the word balance right? At the end of the day, it's a nice word, and I think everybody heard it at least once in their lifetime, but attaining it, I think it's a, it's a, it's one of the hardest things to do.

[01:00:29] Eldar: It's one of the hardest things. 

[01:00:30] Harris: What do you mean, man? The hardest thing is, uh oh, optics. 

[01:00:32] Eldar: Optics. 

[01:00:33] Warren: Gotta get your optics 

[01:00:35] Harris: is one of the hardest things I gotta say, is the ego, right? Yeah, sure. That's the hardest right there. Yeah. 

[01:00:41] Eldar: For a very long time yet. Right. You perceive the world, you interacted with the world in a very specific way.

[01:00:47] Eldar: You come here and you make conclusions about the world where as soon as we start challenging you, you're like, wait a second. That, that doesn't make sense. This doesn't make sense. Right? Your reasoning doesn't stick here. Right? So your whole perception about the world might be incorrect. 

[01:01:00] Harris: Yeah. So war and therefore you might be in pain.

[01:01:03] Harris: I wanna say this, this is gonna go off topic for a minute, but I gotta say it. 

[01:01:07] Harris: You want to go for when I was, uh, in the shelter, right? I built a persona and I came here. Yeah. And Eldar totally. Mike, they called me out. They said, what's all this tough bullshit? And to be honest, I did that for so long where I, I built up persona.

[01:01:23] Harris: I'm a hardcore guy, you know? I had to fight, I had to do this stuff, and I tried to blend in with my surroundings to let people know, Hey, can you 

[01:01:29] Eldar: show us how you rolled the train? I have the jacket. 

[01:01:33] Harris: My dad said back in the day, he used to roll in the train where he, he'd sit in one of the back cars. He put his hand in his jacket to make it look like he's okay.

[01:01:43] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:01:44] Eldar: Packing. 

[01:01:45] Harris: And my dad said no one ever fucked with him. What a loser. But yeah, I, I used to ride, ride on the train like that at the subway. Right. And I used to stick my hand in there. I'm sure if a cop saw me, they'd walk over like, what you got in there? 

[01:01:59] Warren: Maybe. I think we've all done that though. Yeah.

[01:02:01] Warren: Because I know I've done it. 

[01:02:03] Eldar: You 

[01:02:04] Warren: know, you try to overcompensate or you know, whatever, 

[01:02:07] Harris: but then you meet a gun and it's like, you know. Yeah. So 

[01:02:09] Eldar: you were making a point. 

[01:02:10] Harris: Yeah. So when I came here, I had this persona. I built it up Right. That I was, I had to be hard and all this shit. Whoa. Like, why you got it gay man?

[01:02:20] Harris: Hard. What the fuck? Fuck you. But, uh, it's no Diddy party, bro. Hey, you saying YP days? You want me to sit on your lap, right? No. Okay. 

[01:02:29] Eldar: Those days are over. 

[01:02:32] Harris: Um, but yeah, they called me out on it. They're like, what the fuck you do you, why are you doing this like this ain't you? You're a nice kid. You're a pussy.

[01:02:42] Harris: You know? And, uh, I'm sorry to say, yeah, I'm a bitch man. All right. 

[01:02:48] Warren: Don't say that. Don't say that. I'm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you know what? That's good though because that means you circle called you out on something they saw. I'm not this 

[01:02:55] Harris: hard guy. I'm a nice guy. 

[01:02:58] Warren: And you know, but maybe you needed to be hard in the moment.

[01:03:01] Warren: I did. Or maybe you needed people to think you were hard. I did in the moment, 

[01:03:03] Harris: but I, but I kept going on that. Even when I lived in Nebraska, I had this persona I'd never broken. And then they called it out like, Hey, you don't need to do this shit no more. That's right. That's the power of 

[01:03:13] Warren: a good friends group.

[01:03:14] Warren: A good friends group. Nobody's above correction. Nobody's above, you know, being spoken to. And it'll only make you a better person. That's right. 

[01:03:24] Harris: Yeah. As I say, you don't gotta do this anymore. You're safe. You know, you ain't that surrounding anymore. That's right. 

[01:03:29] Eldar: Because we're trying to tackle a different beast here, right?

[01:03:31] Eldar: War. We're not trying to fight some random criminals that he used to like come across. We have a different fish to fry. We're trying to succeed as people in life. You know what mean to build? Trying to build Right. Build that attitude. It's not gonna stick here. It's not gonna work. It's not constructive.

[01:03:47] Eldar: It's it's not destructive. It's destructive. Exactly. They've been 

[01:03:50] Harris: breaking it down. And now I've basically come to the conclusion, you know, and I was, I agree with them, you know, I'm an idiot, you know, I am a nice guy for now I deep down 

[01:04:00] Eldar: you are a nice guy and you an idiot for now. Yeah, it happens 

[01:04:03] Warren: to me at work.

[01:04:04] Warren: I did that at work too. Um, something very simple. Uh, first of all, shout out to Joey bat. We was talking about him earlier. Um, my boy Paul, you didn't meet him yet, but when I became the union delegate in my office, you know, I was very kind of, sort of like antisocial. Mm. I sat by my desk. I didn't say anything to anyone.

[01:04:21] Warren: I didn't do anything. Well, you know, I was just quiet. Stayed to myself. Yeah. Didn't wanna be bothered. When I became union delegate, my, my boy looked at me. Paul, shout out to Paul. He said, yo, listen, what's wrong with you? He goes, you're the union delegate. Now you represent these guys. Mm-hmm. You have to go shake hands.

[01:04:40] Warren: Kiss. You have to smile. Yeah. You have to network yourself. You have to show these guys that you're available. 

[01:04:45] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:04:46] Warren: Uh, both mentally and physically here and mm-hmm. You know, you have to show these guys that you're capable of taking on some of their gripes in the office and you sitting in the corner by yourself, being antisocial doesn't showcase that look, this is the job I'm trying to do.

[01:05:05] Warren: That's right. So it made me, you weren't compatible. For the job. Well, I was, but I was conditioned. 

[01:05:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:12] Warren: To just staying quiet, being semi antisocial, not, you know, just I was burned out, you know, burned out. Yeah. So, you know, that was a same thing. Like you, these guys called you out on it and when they called you out on it, you correct the behavior.

[01:05:28] Warren: And then guess what? Now you're a better version of yourself. It's almost like you leveled up 

[01:05:31] Eldar: 100%. Yeah. 

[01:05:33] Warren: You leveled up. Because like, I like to quote my dad on this one. Um, my dad used to play basketball when he was a young man. And he said to me one day, he goes, do you know why there's coaches and players?

[01:05:49] Warren: And you know, I'm like 10 years old. I don't know. Like Yeah, who cares? Yeah. He's like, the reason why a player can't coach is because when a player's on the field playing, he can't see the mistakes that he's making. 

[01:06:02] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[01:06:03] Warren: So that's why it takes a coach to be on the outside looking in for sure to say, Hey, look, you didn't do this correctly, or you didn't do that correctly.

[01:06:12] Warren: Or you could adjust by doing this, or adjust by doing that. And it'll just make you a better version of yourself at the end of the day. So, you know, it's good to have a good team and it's good to have a good a, a, a, a team that is not afraid to say, Hey man, knock it off, or Hey man, do this better. Or, Hey man, good job.

[01:06:30] Warren: I think that's very important. And building. Relationships. That's right. And building whatever it is you're working on. 

[01:06:38] Eldar: So you agree with me when I told you this is a hundred million dollar company. Right? A hundred percent. Good, good, 

[01:06:44] Katherine: good. And that's exactly like the, uh, that's a good warranting. The, 

[01:06:48] Toliy: the coach and the players, like, again, like the, the, the players, someone that has an attachment, like to, to like compare it, right?

[01:06:54] Toliy: Yeah. Someone who has attachment to something and then the, uh, the coach is like, uh, the person without the horse in the race. 

[01:07:01] Eldar: That's right. That's right. And I actually experienced that too. We, we, uh, we've played a long time without a coach. Mm-hmm. You know, and, uh, totally got injured. Mm-hmm. You know, and he's like, I can coach, or I don't remember.

[01:07:13] Eldar: We nominated him to be a coach. Right. He'd be that pair of eyes that it's outside perspective. He didn't have a horse in a race. I mean, he obviously wanted us to win, but he saw things you can't see while you're, that we couldn't see. And obviously when he made corrections and if we listened to him, we did better.

[01:07:28] Eldar: Absolutely. That's it. 

[01:07:29] Toliy: Yeah. And the, the players like they want to win, for example, but for example, sometimes the way that they act, they don't actually want to win. No, that's correct. The coach is actually the one that wants to win. Yeah. Because, and they have the, the, uh, like the perspective of what's going on because they're not playing, but the players like, who can't be coached or like, who don't allow the coach to coach, they're gonna like prove that they don't want to win and then the team doesn't wanna win.

[01:07:55] Warren: Yeah. 

[01:07:55] Toliy: Right. But it's all Yeah. But like, yeah, as the coach, you need to find the right words and the right ways to communicate properly to the players. Maybe by understanding what's important to them first. Right. And like finding good ways to communicate with them. And I feel like the best coaches and the best teams and, you know, all, all different kinds of sports, um, they win because they, they, they do the proper things, right?

[01:08:21] Toliy: Like, yeah. Like if you're, if you're a Dennis Rodman and you're good at defense and rebounding, you can't be thinking about scoring the ball. You gotta let Jordan score the ball or you gotta let someone that can score, score the ball. So yeah. I feel like any times we've always had it where like the person who's good at defending, if they're gonna go defend and they're, and they embrace that role and they take like ownership of it, like the team is gonna be successful and the people who are good pastors are gonna pass.

[01:08:46] Toliy: And the people are good scorers score. Yeah. Right. But lots of times on teams, people wanna do things that they're not good at and then they throw off the balance, I guess. Right? Or like the, the, the dynamic of the team, 

[01:08:59] Eldar: right. 

[01:08:59] Toliy: Um, by doing that and not even sometimes realizing it. 

[01:09:03] Warren: Yeah. In my office, the biggest issue, and I, I talk to these young guys too, you know, 'cause I'm responsible for mentoring them as well.

[01:09:12] Warren: And um, the biggest issue they have is they compete against each other. And I told them, a team that competes against each other will always lose because you're busy trying to, uh, what's the word? Uh, one up show up or one up your. Your teammate. Everybody can't be good at the same thing. Everybody has to bring what they're good at into the table, apply it accordingly, and then achieve the goal 100%.

[01:09:40] Speaker 9: Yeah. 

[01:09:41] Warren: Balance. Balance. Like on my teams, you know, I don't wanna blame anyone, but the, the supervisors have this thing where they're like, oh, these guys run cases. Let's get these guys all on one team. You can't have eight investigators running cases because it's chaos. 

[01:09:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:09:59] Warren: You need two investigators to run cases.

[01:10:01] Warren: You need two guys who are good in the street. You need two guys who are good at, uh, debriefing or, or interrogating, whatever. You know, you just need torturing. No, no. I don't know about that. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Over, 

[01:10:13] Toliy: yeah. 

[01:10:14] Eldar: And 

[01:10:14] Warren: those are G days. I'm sorry, Harris. 

[01:10:16] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:10:16] Eldar: Gbe. Gb. What's that? Gbe. Guana Bay. He talks about that all the time.

[01:10:22] Eldar: Oh yeah. 

[01:10:23] Harris: We keeping that open, man. 

[01:10:25] Eldar: When he becomes president, 

[01:10:26] Harris: we keeping that open. 

[01:10:30] Eldar: Very good. Yes. Balance. Thank you. 

[01:10:32] Warren: Balance. 

[01:10:32] Eldar: Yeah. So 

[01:10:37] Warren: what do you got, Mike? You've been quiet. 

[01:10:39] Eldar: So Mike, why are you outta balance then, if it's so simple? 

[01:10:43] Mike: Well, I told, I told you initially what I said is that people like to do the things that come easier to them.

[01:10:50] Mike: For me, balance is, um. Well, I'll give an example. I guess for me, balance is going to the gym instead of cleaning my room, for example. Right? Yeah. That's a very simple example, obviously. Okay. But for me, uh, going to work and doing finance stuff, it's easier to do. I could do more of it than me and going to work and counting envelopes, for example.

[01:11:12] Mike: Yeah. Right. One might be my job, my responsibility. The other also might be my responsibility. But, and I think universally everybody does this. We like to seek out the things that we enjoy. And then if we have to choose the, the, what's that expression? Lesser two evils, right? Evils, yeah. We're gonna gravitate towards the one.

[01:11:32] Mike: If we are both. If we're not happy in, in our job, we're not happy in our family, in our relationship, we probably, the job is not as bad as the relationship hatred or difficulties. So we're gonna stay, work more, you know? So instead of dealing with our problems, uh, we choose to get this i this imbalance. 

[01:11:55] Warren: Mm.

[01:11:55] Warren: So what do you think is your problem? 

[01:11:57] Mike: Yeah, mine. I got a lot, man. 

[01:11:59] Warren: Can't be not cleaning the room. 

[01:12:01] Mike: Me? No, no, it's not that. Uh, my problem. Dig deep, deep. Um, probably insecurity with girlies. You think so? Yeah. But why? 

[01:12:16] Warren: You have a lot to offer. That's what you think. I, I, that's what I know. I see. 

[01:12:20] Mike: No, yeah. But I, I don't feel that sometimes.

[01:12:23] Warren: Well, let me give you your flowers. Ooh. You have a lot to offer. Sure. But 

[01:12:28] Eldar: y'all have 

[01:12:28] Eldar: to be That doesn't work, man. We tried that 

[01:12:30] Harris: already. Yeah, 

[01:12:31] Eldar: yeah. No, try something different. 

[01:12:34] Mike: Yeah. But that's just one example. You're doing better man. 

[01:12:36] Eldar: Huh? 

[01:12:37] Harris: You've been doing better. You've been talking to him. 

[01:12:39] Mike: Yeah. No, but that's just giving an example of something I've been working on for a while.

[01:12:43] Mike: Mm-hmm. You know? Um, and how do you see your 

[01:12:45] Warren: improvements? I'm sorry. 

[01:12:46] Katherine: No, I'm sorry. 

[01:12:48] Mike: Do I see improvements? Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. You know, 

[01:12:52] Katherine: just recently, Mike, I, I've seen a difference in your behavior. Uhhuh, putting yourself out there more. Yeah. 

[01:12:57] Mike: I've been trying to go out more. I went on a date a couple days ago or like a, on the weekend, you know, she been clapping 

[01:13:03] Warren: cheeks.

[01:13:06] Mike: Uh, I don't kiss and tell. Ooh, oh shit. But it's, 

[01:13:10] Katherine: it's a, it's, it's a, you're going in the right direction, you know? Yeah. I'm trying to, especially just me that, 'cause I'm trying to overcome it for you and that's how you overcome it, you know, I'm 

[01:13:19] Mike: trying to overcome those things. Yeah. I mean, obviously have a lot of stuff that I'm imbalanced in, you know, but that's a big one.

[01:13:26] Mike: You know, I gravitate towards things that I like to do and I try to stay away from the things I don't like to do. Like, uh, I don't know. I like, I like points. I like the air, the miles and all that point. I gravitate towards that. You gimme a whiff of it. I'm in there. I'm searching. I'm going, you're shifting the 

[01:13:43] Warren: conversation.

[01:13:44] Warren: We wanna talk about the girls. What's up? No. Yeah, I'm just giving you an example. Making us married. Guys wanna invite Carries who live through you. What's up man? What's 

[01:13:54] Harris: going on? Making detective come out, man. Time to interrogate this problem. 

[01:13:57] Warren: Okay, 

[01:13:58] Mike: go ahead. 

[01:13:58] Warren: Interrogate. What's up? Were you told me? How's it going on that end?

[01:14:05] Warren: On the balance 

[01:14:05] Toliy: end, on that end right now? 

[01:14:07] Warren: No. No. 

[01:14:09] Eldar: He's a high value man. Right? Of course. All you guys. All of us. That's what I'm saying. We have a lot to bring to the table. 

[01:14:18] Toliy: Yeah, I think we like, we probably all, all, I mean, we not, not probably. I think we do, but I mean there's different things. Things. No, but I think there's d different things that are like, well, like different priorities or different, like, uh, 

[01:14:34] Eldar: well, yeah, why don't you speak about your priorities.

[01:14:38] Eldar: I think, I think it's one thing is, um, just saying maybe like what you have versus what you should strive for. Maybe. And I think it's, a lot of times people want the best, you know what I mean? And they, a lot of times they, they want to like maybe hold off or they have their own kind of maybe bar that they set for themselves that they're going against.

[01:14:58] Eldar: You know, maybe that can hold you back or maybe that can motivate you or make you a better person 

[01:15:03] Warren: you don't know. Or make it make you withdrawal too. Or, or that, yeah. Well let, let's, I can do whatever 

[01:15:07] Katherine: totally 

[01:15:08] Eldar: though. 

[01:15:08] Warren: Yeah. 

[01:15:10] Harris: That's good question. You said a lot, man. No. Wow. Wow. That's a lot, 

[01:15:15] Toliy: dude. Yeah. That's deep shit.

[01:15:16] Toliy: Yeah. I mean, I don't know how, how do, how do I, like best, best explain it? I mean, um,

[01:15:24] Toliy: well, like in, in, in general, for a long time I had a lot of, uh, in imbalance in my life. Like very anxious, very poor sleep. Like, um, I don't know what, what else? Like, um, yeah, yeah, like anxiety for, for me has always been a very big thing. Mm-hmm. You know, um, about all, all different kinds of things. Family things like personal things, like all kinds of like, uh, scenarios.

[01:15:53] Toliy: So like, I always felt that I wanted to like, uh, Archie, 

[01:15:56] Eldar: oh, I'll give you an example. Archie went to the vet yesterday. He said, Hey, how do you do with that shot? And they had to give him a shot, you know, the vaccine, how do you do? I'm like, I'm not telling you, bro, 

[01:16:06] Katherine: but you weren't there. 

[01:16:10] Eldar: Did I give you a little bit of insight?

[01:16:11] Eldar: You know why he is asking anxiety? 

[01:16:15] Harris: I, I, 

[01:16:16] Eldar: he's anxious, right? He's worried, worried. 

[01:16:18] Harris: Eldar had me take the dogs to his parents. Yes. And totally said, maybe you should call, make sure they got there. All right. Oh, fuck. You see, I've done this 

[01:16:28] Warren: like four times, bro. 

[01:16:30] Eldar: Anxiety. Anxiety. What am I gonna 

[01:16:32] Warren: do to the dog?

[01:16:33] Warren: These, 

[01:16:33] Eldar: these are just small examples, right? That are. That he might be suffering from, and then there's a lot more, obviously there's a huge thing to unpack. 

[01:16:42] Warren: Yeah. You 

[01:16:42] Eldar: know, 

[01:16:43] Warren: well, that's why we're here. You right. It takes a village. 

[01:16:46] Eldar: Yeah. And it takes balance. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think that's what he's talking about, that for a very long time, he was unbalanced.

[01:16:55] Eldar: Babe. You can relate to the anxiety part. Of 

[01:16:56] Katherine: course. 

[01:16:58] Eldar: Anxiety is their best friend. I'm, 

[01:16:59] Katherine: I'm still trying to balance myself daily. Yeah. Yeah. Anxiety will throw you off and you can't like live, like, let's say like a normal person would like get up and do your snow. Like it interferes with everything. Yeah. If you don't, 

[01:17:13] Eldar: yeah.

[01:17:13] Eldar: An anxious person wants everything under their control at all times and everything has to fit their little, um, understanding. They're check box checkers. They want to make sure everything's perfect, and if it's not, it causes them stress. They have, they hold crazy attachments to that, to those outcomes.

[01:17:31] Eldar: Right. For these two individuals, at least they're learning ways to start to let go. Right. One, one thing that we discussed, you have anxiety for your daughters. You might not know it. I have 

[01:17:43] Warren: anxiety for a lot of things, but go ahead. 

[01:17:45] Eldar: Okay. Yeah, so Totally. I think we 

[01:17:47] Warren: all do. We just show it differently? 

[01:17:49] Eldar: Uh, yes, for sure.

[01:17:51] Eldar: We definitely do. And we have different attachments for different 

[01:17:53] Warren: things. I'm what, what's the word, introvert. Yeah. So I take things in, I let it build up inside. Yeah. Pause. Yeah.

[01:18:03] Warren: My brain is going a hundred miles an hour. Oh, that's me. Oh, Jesus. But from the outside looking in, you, I, you don't know. So calm, cool, and collective. Yeah, that's right. Well, look at how Gina 

[01:18:13] Katherine: always tells me, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Mm-hmm. But Catherine like, what is it? She always tell me, Catherine, you're so zen.

[01:18:19] Katherine: And I'm like, oh Gina, if you were in my brain, you would, you would say that it's not true. You would never say that. That's me 

[01:18:24] Warren: too. 

[01:18:24] Katherine: Yeah. Yeah. But I look calm 

[01:18:27] Warren: and I'm thinking 4, 5, 6 steps ahead. Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:18:30] Katherine: Do you, do you think of all the different scenarios, a hundred that can happen with one. The 

[01:18:34] Warren: bad ones too.

[01:18:35] Warren: Me 

[01:18:35] Katherine: too. 

[01:18:35] Warren: Good. Bad. And it, it's like torture. 

[01:18:36] Katherine: It's torture. Yeah. 

[01:18:38] Harris: It is. 

[01:18:38] Katherine: Absolutely. See 

[01:18:39] Harris: or I have a problem with that we talk a lot about, about this, right. This, this office is my zen, my getaway good. And when I go home, that's my, now, so imagine you get paid to be in Zen. 

[01:18:51] Eldar: No, no. He gets paid to go to school. This is school?

[01:18:53] Harris: Yes. I'm in college right now. He gets grade. You're in first grade. Fuck you, man. Four 

[01:18:59] Eldar: times four. 

[01:19:01] Harris: Yeah. I'm not doing this right now. I'm a drink man. 

[01:19:05] Eldar: Fine. 

[01:19:07] Harris: That's a really tough one. Me go fine, fine. No, it's not a tough one. I'm a drink in, man. Okay. I'm feeling good. You can't do four times four with a drink.

[01:19:16] Eldar: You drink four 16. Okay. You, you, you drank two hours ago. Yeah, one shot. 

[01:19:21] Harris: But if you say you're tipsy. Tipsy, 

[01:19:23] Eldar: that's it. Five times five. 

[01:19:24] Mike: Leave him alone. He's tipsy. 12. He loves five times five guys don't give it to him anymore. Yes, he loves that one. 

[01:19:32] Harris: But, all right. So I love that one. 'cause he used to fuck me up four times.

[01:19:36] Harris: Three and 

[01:19:36] Toliy: three times four are the biggest, uh, the biggest culprits. Yeah. So I'm 

[01:19:39] Harris: just gonna say, right. Uh, I have huge attachments to everything that goes on at home and these guys pointed it out. I didn't even realize that I used to bring it to work. Okay. Where I couldn't focus on my work. I still do bring it to work where I'm focused on, oh great, I'm about to go home and I'm gonna deal with the hell at home.

[01:20:06] Harris: And you know, it absorbed me. Still does. 

[01:20:09] Warren: What's going on with your love life? What's up with that girl text the other day? What happened? She hit your back. 

[01:20:14] Harris: Nah, bro. She goes to me. 

[01:20:15] Warren: Mm-hmm. Her loss, she goes to me. I think we were too direct. 

[01:20:22] Harris: I think she liked that 

[01:20:23] Warren: one. Honestly, I think you should read the text over the podcast.

[01:20:26] Warren: I think it had a lot of spice. Okay. Hands. Yeah. Oh my God, that was a fun day. But 

[01:20:34] Harris: yeah. But yeah, my home is, I don't know. Is it correct to say my health Well, 

[01:20:43] Eldar: well no, I think, no, not necessarily because I think that like, if you actually unpacked it truthfully, it's so easy. And like, but it's 

[01:20:51] Harris: not easy for me.

[01:20:52] Eldar: I, I get it. Yeah. It's easy for us. That's okay. That's what you cannot rely on yourself in order to make the good decisions in life. That's a fact. Yeah. You need either a therapist or you need us. Yeah. If we're your therapists, this is easy for us. Very easy. Mm-hmm. For Warren, it's very easy. 

[01:21:09] Toliy: No. But you don't think that being here is harder than being at home for him?

[01:21:13] Eldar: No. Absolutely not. Definitely not because he's closer to being himself here than he's at home. But the challenges that he experiences here, well, I can be myself here. The hardest, no, the hardest, the hardest challenge is to, to be an actor 

[01:21:24] Harris: out in society. I can't be myself. What do you mean by that? Here, right.

[01:21:29] Harris: When I'm around everyone around you, when you say 

[01:21:31] Warren: society, what do you mean by that? 

[01:21:33] Harris: Outside you won't catch me. Making the jokes I make, uh, being myself. The, oh, fuck you. You know, if I'm around my family, I won't do that. Uh, you know, I'm an actor. I don't do that around my dad. You know, I don't joke with him a lot, you know, because in his eyes, that's, it's just bad.

[01:21:55] Eldar: He can't be himself 

[01:21:56] Harris: is what he saying. I can't be 

[01:21:56] Harris: myself. Right. I had to be pulled out. That is why he's his 

[01:21:59] Harris: dad. No, dad. Uh, that is why he's referring to this space or coming here is his mike safe space. Mike 

[01:22:07] Harris: can now call his dad by his first name. If I did that, who the hell are you talking to? You know, it is like, you know, I.

[01:22:17] Harris: My dad, I don't know if you've listened to the podcast a lot. Um, my dad has been pushing me to find another job. He's let off my case a little bit. I think he's getting the point that I'm not interested in that shit. Mm-hmm. Um, but he's like, he wants me to get a government job, state job town, job work 20 years, retire, you know?

[01:22:39] Harris: Yeah. That's what we talked about. 

[01:22:41] Warren: Yeah. Run on that wheel. Don't do it. I'm still doing it. 20 months to go. 

[01:22:46] Harris: My dad goes, you're not a salesman. A salesman has to, has have no soul. You know, maybe I have to be able to sell something to their, to their grandmother that is gonna break down in a couple years. You know, dead grandmother.

[01:22:58] Harris: Yeah. You know, and he's like, what do think got salt? No, we're selling a product. People need one. Those people. So, so what does that if I, there has been times when I did that a couple times where I tried to maneuver things around. Other would call me out like, yo, what the fuck are you doing? We don't, you know what, 

[01:23:17] Warren: that was one of my hardest gripes.

[01:23:18] Warren: Mm-hmm. Um, growing up in Caribbean culture, it's like, your parents are never wrong. Like, it's like you could tell 'em, but. The facts are this, mom, the facts are that, that, no, it's not like that because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You ever seen the movie, uh, Waterboy? Yeah. That, that's literally, remember when he is like, but, but Mama said, mama says, that's literally like growing up in Caribbean culture.

[01:23:45] Warren: Like, the parents are never wrong. That's every 

[01:23:48] Toliy: culture though, right? You think so? Yeah. Like our, I mean our, our cultures the same exact thing. Oh my God. Somebody dad, 

[01:23:54] Harris: right? The sales and shit. He goes, I worked in sales, I worked in fabric selling shit. Mm-hmm. Like, he would sell shit to companies, but he wouldn't sell shit.

[01:24:02] Harris: He goes, sales is hard. He goes, it's not a, uh, career you can have. Right? It's not a consistent money maker. You know, you're not gonna do anything with this. He goes, I'm telling you, gonna, and what do you think? I, I think I'm learning, at least trying to learn. And, uh, but I have his voice in the back of my head every day, or I did.

[01:24:23] Harris: He's let off a lot now because I've, I've kind to like let him know, like, I'm not interested in having this conversation in my own way, you know? Uh, and he goes, uh, he, he wanted me to set a timeframe, three months if I don't make it leave. And, you know, uh, at first I was like, yeah, yeah, whatever, you know? Um, but more and more I'm like, you know, I actually told him I didn't want have this conversation.

[01:24:52] Harris: He goes, I know you don't wanna have this conversation. 

[01:24:54] Eldar: Did you tell him that? Um, the other day you closed a deal and you got a half chub? I did 

[01:24:59] Harris: not tell him I gotta have, yo, it 

[01:25:01] Eldar: doesn't help his case. 

[01:25:03] Harris: No, but you know, he, he lives at it like this. Right? He is now 64. He's gonna be working until he is 70. Uh, and he's looking at his friends who retired when they were in their forties for taking that state job that his parents told him to take.

[01:25:21] Harris: But he says he doesn't regret his decision, so why can't he let me do what he did and basically not listen to his parents and still be successful? 

[01:25:29] Katherine: He's trying to prevent your suffering. Yeah. All protect 

[01:25:34] Toliy: you. Yeah. All parents I think are gonna try to like, like feed you, want, want letter for you as to like, he don't want you to 

[01:25:41] Warren: come off the tit.

[01:25:42] Toliy: I, I, I get that. But if he doesn't regret, he's right. 

[01:25:45] Harris: If he doesn't regret his choices. Right. He enjoys what he does. Yeah. Why can't he let me try something? Well, because he feels that 

[01:25:52] Toliy: he, he learned something. He failed May maybe like, let's just call it the hard way. Right. And maybe he wants a easier, better way for, for you.

[01:26:01] Toliy: And that's his like, under, they're standing behind it. Like, like our parents are very like, um, like, they, like, they like. At least for example, my parents, like, they grew up in like Ukraine. Right. And like Soviet Union Right. And all of that. That's right. And like, like my grandma still like, like if, if we buy something, you gotta buy 10 cans of that because 

[01:26:25] Eldar: it's deficit.

[01:26:26] Eldar: Yeah. You 

[01:26:26] Toliy: don't know if, if you're gonna come back, it's gonna be there still. Like she's been in America for like, like, uh, 31 years now. Right. And she still offers, offers, operates. Well, so for con, 

[01:26:37] Eldar: for context, Warren, the reason why he's referencing that is that in Soviet Union, back in the day mm-hmm. Right when we were little, our parents had shortage for all the shit.

[01:26:46] Eldar: For example. Yeah. There was a time where like that to make a huge line in order just to get a loaf of bread. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. A, a bag of sugar. Right. So it was crazy deficit. So his grandma still has that mentality even till the day. Yeah. 

[01:27:00] Toliy: So like, if there was something that could be like stocked away, like available, you would have to get like one year's worth of that.

[01:27:06] Toliy: 'cause you might not see that again for the next year. God, she's got a lot that's be gone BJs. So like you could be here for 31 years, but there's still our, our parents still have mentalities of like, security, right. Of like particular like financial security for example. Uh, rations on things. Right? Like they're operating from a different mindset when we're like, we're, we're like.

[01:27:27] Toliy: Young and like we, we have a different outlook on life. Like, we're not worried about particular things. Right. That they're, that they worried about, but they don't understand that. So when they're giving you advice, they're giving advice from like, what's important from them. Like, I dunno, like young people don't think about like, I don't know, retirement.

[01:27:44] Toliy: Right. And like IRAs and like, I don't know all this type of stuff, but maybe parents to them it's like, oh shit. Like they're older and they maybe realize like, I don't have anything. And then there's a certain point where like, they're not gonna be able to work like that. And like, they might push particular things like, oh, you get a government job.

[01:28:01] Toliy: Well, you know, you got pension for life. Yeah. Right. My, like, my, my, my dad always pushed, I mean, I mean my, I mean, my mom al always pushed my dad to go to the MMTA, for example, like elder's dad. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. And go get a job there and work there. And my dad didn't wanna do it and my mom wanted him to do it.

[01:28:19] Toliy: So like, you know, you have good insurance, you have good pension benefits, everything, like steady pay, secure job security, all that. And my dad didn't do it. I mean, he's been stuck at like the same, like, shitty job for a very long time. But like, yeah, he has like, no retirement, no savings, like, like none of that.

[01:28:39] Toliy: So like, for her that's like a forever like, ingrained thing that like the, like this is a good thing, for example. Yeah. So like his dad made particular, I don't know what he calls maybe mistakes. So like, yeah, his advice is gonna be pushing a very particular agenda that he was suffering with. Not knowing if this is something that's even relevant for where Harris is at.

[01:28:59] Toliy: He can't correct basic 

[01:29:00] Harris: math now, now, this past year, he, or a couple of like four months, he, he's been realizing like the way he's going, he can't continue it like working. And he's come up with like this idea that, uh, he wants me to take over his business and, uh, keep it alive because his dead brother rest in peace.

[01:29:24] Harris: Uh, started it. Okay. Rest in peace brother. If you listening. Yeah, if you I never met the fucking guy. Okay, cool. Uh, he started it and now my dad created this idea that I should take it over. So he trusts you. Trust me. I think he's loves you trying to keep a 

[01:29:42] Warren: legacy alive. There's gotta be some trust, 

[01:29:46] Harris: you know?

[01:29:47] Eldar: And look, your dad, right, like totally said, is operating out of a very specific pain. 

[01:29:53] Warren: My dad does the exact same thing. My dad hates the fact that I'm in law enforcement and tells me to my face, he hates the fact that I'm in law enforcement. And then behind my back I'll catch him talking to family members.

[01:30:06] Warren: Yeah. My son's in law enforcement. He's bragging about it. Oh man, how come he never, you know, did you ever meet his dad Elder? 

[01:30:13] Eldar: No. You never met his parents who wards? Oh, I did. Yeah, yeah. Of I met his parents. Yeah. I thought, I thought you said that, Harris. No, no, no. You met my, you met mother. No, no, no. The thing is, whatcha talking about Harris?

[01:30:24] Eldar: No, I've never met your dad. My mom. Your mom. Of course I met your mom. Yeah, the thing I met my parents, 

[01:30:29] Harris: bro. 

[01:30:29] Eldar: Yeah, yeah. Your dad, um, Harris's dad is operating on a very specific thing, thinking that like, look, he missed out on it, right? Yeah. Oh shoot. You, the reason why he thinks that he missed out on is because he's 67 or 70 years old, still working and he can't retire.

[01:30:44] Eldar: So he is like, oh, of course the guys that got in at 20, retiring at 40 are in a better place. Yeah. However, right? Even the guys at 40, like my friend Warren over here, he's counting down the days, you know, why 20 months? 20 months? You know why? Because he is not happy. He's trying to get out. You know what I'm saying?

[01:31:02] Eldar: So at the end of the day, like for example, I'm not counting my days when I'm gonna retire from letter friend or. Whatever it is I'm doing because I'm enjoying myself. Yeah. Yeah. But my dad, I would like to do this for until I'm a hundred if I can. 

[01:31:14] Harris: My dad. Do you understand? Yeah. But my dad's not counting his days anymore.

[01:31:18] Harris: Mm-hmm. He's more like, he's raking in as much money as he can because as he says, he's making, this was his best year ever. So he is like, I'm gonna flow with this, but I can do like this one customer into my seventies, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. So like, if you're enjoying what you're doing, you know? Yeah. 

[01:31:34] Eldar: You should stick with it.

[01:31:35] Eldar: Yeah. So like, he's giving you an advice where it's like he's operating, think thinks that you hate your job or like, I never 

[01:31:41] Harris: expressed that though. Exactly. 

[01:31:43] Eldar: That's what I'm, that's what we're saying is that we never really talk about it. He goes, how was your day? 

[01:31:47] Harris: Yeah. And I, I, I do tell him, I said, I'll close the deal and the first thing out of his mouth is not like, that's great.

[01:31:52] Harris: Right? Yeah. It's, you know, what does this do for your money situation? 

[01:31:56] Eldar: Hmm. Like, tell him nothing. Dad. Uh, the handler that I have, it does something for him. He's gonna go on a nice Greek vacation for this money that I booked and I'm gonna stay back here 'cause I'm a slave. Say it like that. What's wrong with you?

[01:32:12] Eldar: What? I maybe he'll like that answer. What? 

[01:32:16] Harris: What's wrong with you? No, you know, he, he's, he only focuses on money, but that's held our, has made clear money. Doesn't grow on trees. No, money's not everything. You know, you could be rich by just enjoying your life. 

[01:32:32] Eldar: Wow. That's why this company is a hundred million dollar company.

[01:32:36] Eldar: Yeah, exactly. For now? Yeah. For now. Going, it's gonna be 

[01:32:39] Harris: a billion. 

[01:32:39] Eldar: We're going for 50 billion. That, that was my goal. It went from 

[01:32:42] Harris: a billion to 50 billion. No, we're just gonna leap. 

[01:32:44] Eldar: Yeah. We're just gonna leapfrog this shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Balance. Boy, you went 

[01:32:52] Mike: around the room. Easy. Easy word, man.

[01:32:54] Mike: Easy word. What's up? We went around the room, asked us what our imbalances, I think, uh, well, he gave us his, yeah. He struggling with kids. His daughters. Yeah. 

[01:33:02] Warren: Yeah. That's part of it, you know. 

[01:33:04] Eldar: Yeah. That's one. It's a different, that's a, that's a very interesting conversation. Raising kids and stuff like that.

[01:33:09] Eldar: And obviously we 

[01:33:10] Warren: have imbalances on all levels. 100%. Mm-hmm. 

[01:33:14] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:33:14] Warren: It's just a matter of the priority for me. My priority is my children, but my family, you know, work because you can't support the family without work, but you, but you can't, 

[01:33:28] Eldar: you can't work without supporting yourself first. Right. End of day, say like, the number one priority should be you.

[01:33:34] Eldar: Number one priority should be you. That's why you're here, right? Ooh, you said, Hey, don't say that too loud. 

[01:33:38] Toliy: Yeah, 

[01:33:38] Eldar: yeah. No. What, 

[01:33:39] Toliy: what, what use can you be for others if you don't? If you, if you, if you're not balanced, that's why 

[01:33:43] Warren: I need to pop out. 

[01:33:45] Eldar: Pop out. If you're not balanced, how can you balance others or help but influence others in a better way?

[01:33:49] Toliy: Yeah. You, you have to be well, well, well rested. You have to have balance. You have to, uh, put priority on 

[01:33:55] Eldar: rest. 

[01:33:56] Toliy: What's that? 

[01:33:57] Eldar: That's why when you, when you came here, you gave us the compliments, right? You said, Hey, you guys doing it right? We're trying to figure this thing out where we can play, we can work, we can enjoy ourselves and do it in such a way where it's not forced.

[01:34:11] Warren: It's funny. When we came out from Aruba, I was talking to Mike, um, I said to Mike, I said, Mike, what's the next vacation? Because my vacation was ruined. Day one. I remember I sent you the videos in the group text. Yeah. After the vacation in Aruba, like day one was chaos. Really? Mm. At work. So I was talking to Mike and I'm like, yo, when's the next vacation?

[01:34:32] Warren: And Mike's like, well, you know, and us we're, we're still pretty relaxed. Like, fuck you guys. Yeah. So, yeah, I get it. You know? Um, as far as balance with 

[01:34:47] Eldar: me more, to be honest, the testimonies that I don't know about others, but for me, I don't look forward to vacations. Every, 

[01:34:55] Toliy: every day is vacation. 

[01:34:57] Eldar: I'm chilling.

[01:34:59] Eldar: So when the vacation happens, people ka ka asking me all the time. She's like, are you excited for Greece? I'm like, no. She's like, why not? It's Greece. I'm like, I am excited for the fact that my friends are coming with me. Like I, I'm gonna share that experience with them. I'm excited for that, but I'm gonna get really excited when we get on the plane, for example, because we're gonna be all there.

[01:35:18] Eldar: We're gonna be talking our shit. We're gonna enjoying ourselves, we're gonna crack jokes and all this other stuff. That's what I'm excited for. But the truth of the matter is, I'm not living in the future. I'm living day to day. And I think also totally threw me a question too. He goes, so how do you like evaluate your day-to-day life?

[01:35:34] Eldar: Whether or not it was successful like you. Right. What'd you say? 

[01:35:37] Toliy: Um, like, do you, do you, do you think, like, do you think about if like, uh, like not, I, I think I asked like, that's something cu with cu with cus would ask. That's like 

[01:35:46] Katherine: an Ivana move, you know? No, no. I think I asked like, how 

[01:35:50] Toliy: often does your day go bad?

[01:35:52] Toliy: No, no. How often does your day go exactly like you want it? 

[01:35:56] Eldar: And I'm like, I couldn't answer that because like, everything goes according to I want it. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how I actually feel. I mean, obviously there's certain things that I don't like that happens, but like, what do I genuinely have to complain about?

[01:36:10] Eldar: Like, I could, I can't. It's, it would be, it would be like, like I be You're grateful. You're 

[01:36:16] Warren: grateful. 

[01:36:16] Eldar: I'm 

[01:36:16] Warren: very 

[01:36:17] Eldar: grateful. 

[01:36:18] Warren: You know what I'm saying? So like, well I don't know about you. I'm very excited about Grace. 

[01:36:22] Eldar: Me too. 

[01:36:23] Warren: I can't wait. 

[01:36:23] Eldar: I can't wait. Yeah. And I, and no, and I think that the people that are mostly in pain, that experience pain, daily pain, they should be excited for those types of things.

[01:36:31] Eldar: I think 

[01:36:31] Warren: that's the majority of the people in the world, bro. Yeah. 

[01:36:33] Eldar: And I'm not, I'm not excluding that. I'm definitely, I agree in agreeance with that. I'm definitely in agreeance with that, that because of the fact that the daily life is hard, the trips are the things that we look forward to the most.

[01:36:49] Eldar: Mm-hmm. And I'm not sure if that's balance mm-hmm. Is my thing. And that is why I, right. And that is why maybe one day Cat will understand me, right? When she goes, oh, I want to go on the trip with you, just me and you. You know what I mean? I'm like, I more the merrier, right? Is because I get the most probably from that, where like, I could share this with everyone, not just me and you.

[01:37:11] Eldar: You know what I mean? Like that's what's popping for me. You know what I mean? But I also understand why it's meaningful for her to go alone as well. 

[01:37:19] Warren: Yeah. 

[01:37:19] Eldar: You know what I mean? 

[01:37:20] Warren: You have to balance her. 

[01:37:22] Eldar: Correct. But that necessarily is not how I feel internally. Right. Because for me, the more the merrier because I think that, uh, if I can max out the most amount of fun for the most amount of people, that's an accomplishment.

[01:37:38] Eldar: And like, that's awesome. Like it's, it feels less selfish. You know what I mean? 

[01:37:47] Eldar: I get 

[01:37:47] Eldar: it. Like Sonny said, you know why I can live anywhere in the world, wherever, in any, any penthouse I want. 

[01:37:55] Toliy: Hmm. 

[01:37:55] Eldar: You know why I live here? Availability. He wants to be closer to the people. 

[01:38:00] Toliy: Availability is the best ability. 

[01:38:02] Eldar: Hmm.

[01:38:03] Eldar: You know what I'm saying? See my Rolex bitch. Talk nice to me. Bitch. 

[01:38:08] Harris: Know I was actually talking to Brittany the other day. Right. Uhhuh. And Who's Brittany? Girl? My brother's wife. Whoa. Whoa. You guys have a one-on-one chat? Yeah. What's up? She tried calling me when I was working. I was like, you know, I put it to voicemail.

[01:38:25] Harris: She called again, I put it to voicemail. Mm-hmm. Me and Mike were in the car. I forgot where we were going. We were going to New York. Mm-hmm. Uh, for that thing. And uh, I called her back. Mm-hmm. She didn't pick up. So I said, okay, I'm gonna give her a little, you know, you said the dick pick? No, her a little double tap.

[01:38:40] Harris: I called her again. She picks up, she goes, there's a reason I wasn't answering you. I was like, what the fuck? You know? And she goes, yeah. I was like, uh, you called, you know? And she goes, yeah. The kids were pretending to talk to Uncle Harris on the phone. So I figure, uh, I asked 'em if they wanted me to call Uncle Harris and I called you.

[01:39:00] Harris: I was like, yeah, I was working. Sorry about that. Well, my kids wanna talk to you. You pick up the phone. I'm like, what the fuck? And, uh, my Mike whispered something like. Tell her I'm an executive now. 

[01:39:12] Speaker 9: Talk nice to me. So 

[01:39:13] Harris: I did, I said, I said, I'm an executive 

[01:39:15] Warren: now. Talk nice 

[01:39:16] Harris: to me. Yeah. And then she makes a remark.

[01:39:18] Harris: You always be my bitch. 

[01:39:20] Warren: Oh, she said to you? Yeah, 

[01:39:22] Eldar: yeah. You always will be my bitch. Now we know what kind of relationship you had over there. Oh yeah. She used a fuck you trying to make here. 

[01:39:29] Harris: You always be my bitch when my kids call. You pick up the phone. I'm like, what the 

[01:39:32] Mike: fuck? You are her sex slave. What's wrong with man?

[01:39:35] Mike: Be honest man. It's cool. What's wrong with you? It's 

[01:39:36] Harris: cool, man. That's my sister-in-law, man. 

[01:39:38] Speaker 9: Oh man. It's 

[01:39:39] Harris: fine, man. She doesn't have no friends for you. It's Nebraska man. 

[01:39:46] Eldar: They get down like, you know, intermingle the family itself. Yeah, yeah. Anything, anything goes cross pond. It's Royal Rumble in your terms.

[01:39:55] Harris: It's just Royal Rumble, man. You got daddies with a shotgun waiting on the porch, you know, 

[01:40:01] Eldar: you don't wanna Yeah. Do too much. So guys, did we say anything about balance? This, this topic organically, um, was brought forth. 

[01:40:13] Toliy: Who, who, who here can pro, can properly, uh, explain what balance is other than maybe 

[01:40:20] Mike: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[01:40:21] Mike: What? Put pressure on me. This is a new segment we're adding.

[01:40:30] Toliy: Well, no, I mean we're, we're, we're all talking about it, right? Yes. And I think, 

[01:40:34] Eldar: I think, I think 

[01:40:34] Toliy: Warren did a really good job. Who, who here can, can properly explain what balance means or Oh, 

[01:40:41] Warren: or is? I think Warren is, uh, if, if being honest, I think you're never gonna be fully balanced. 

[01:40:47] Harris: Why not? Because you don't know yourself.

[01:40:50] Harris: There's always 

[01:40:51] Warren: gonna be factors beyond your control. 

[01:40:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:40:55] Warren: Like meaning, I don't know. Your boiler goes out. Yeah. But if you understand, maybe your roof needs repair, but, but 

[01:41:03] Eldar: if you expected that, yeah. Like, isn't that part of life? You're sick, 

[01:41:06] Warren: you can't make it to work. Oh, 

[01:41:07] Eldar: maybe it's part of life 

[01:41:08] Warren: and you accept it.

[01:41:09] Warren: That fact, if 

[01:41:09] Toliy: you understand, like if, if for example, if you're like, but you could never 

[01:41:13] Warren: understand. Well, no, because your knowledge is from the cradle to the grave. You're always learning. You're always improvement. There's never even the smartest guy in the world has to learn more. 

[01:41:26] Toliy: Yeah. But I think that there's a lot.

[01:41:27] Toliy: So it's almost like infinity. 

[01:41:28] Warren: It's infinity. 

[01:41:29] Toliy: Yeah. But I think that there's a lot that we can account for now. Yeah. Yeah. Like for example, like there, there's two different reactions to your boiler going out. What the fuck? Right. Like you can be fur furious and start cursing and like, be angry. Right. Or you, or you could just be like, all right, like, I mean, what's the lifespan of these things?

[01:41:46] Toliy: Yeah. Like what's the lifespan of 20 years? Oh, this should lasted 25 

[01:41:49] Eldar: years. I'm fucking grateful it lasted five years more. 

[01:41:52] Toliy: Yeah. Like, you should cheer. Yeah. Yeah. Like my, my family's a yeah. 

[01:41:58] Warren: To to, to one man, but to the new homeowner who dumped his 20% life savings. Yeah. His life savings. 20% into this new home.

[01:42:08] Warren: That's a fixer upper. And the boiler goes, 

[01:42:12] Eldar: yeah. But someone who did that, but was, was he not, was he ignorant then that he didn't, I didn't, she didn't account for it. 

[01:42:17] Warren: Dream. He had a dream. Okay. There you attachment. 

[01:42:19] Toliy: Sounds like not like a smart person though. Attachment. 

[01:42:21] Mike: Well, we 

[01:42:21] Warren: can't say 

[01:42:22] Mike: that. Why not? Why not?

[01:42:23] Toliy: This is what we say every day. Yes. 

[01:42:25] Mike: But you can be a smart person every single moment. Well, 

[01:42:28] Eldar: no, the thing is, I think totally is challenging the fact that we can't account for certain things all. I agree with that. When you buy a house Yeah. Right. Part of a house comes a boiler. Yeah. The boiler has a lifespan, like any other thing has a lifespan.

[01:42:39] Eldar: Right. Sure. If you, accounting for that is one thing, but if you are having an attachment saying that I'm a new homeowner. Yeah. I can't wait to get my first house. Mm-hmm. You know, yada, yada, yada. And you dump your 

[01:42:49] Toliy: whole life savings. Yeah. If you dump 

[01:42:50] Eldar: the whole life savings and then don't account for the fact that a house also comes with a boiler.

[01:42:55] Eldar: Yeah. Then of course you're gonna get sideswiped. That's a hundred percent. You're 

[01:42:58] Toliy: gonna get a surprise that you don't like, and you're supposed to react in a poor way because, like, 'cause you're an idiot. You're, yeah. You're getting 

[01:43:03] Warren: punished. No, I, I wouldn't say idiot. I would say you're at a level where maybe you're not at, well, your experiencing that you accounted for this.

[01:43:15] Warren: Maybe, I don't know. I'm a new homeowner. I didn't know that in purchasing this home, the boiler is gonna go the next day. True. 

[01:43:25] Toliy: Yeah. But I feel like with your life experience, right, you can make the choice as to how you, um, approach things, right? Or re no. React to things. Yeah. Well, well, I'm saying like, first is how you approach things and then how you, like, how you go about researching and understanding and learning.

[01:43:42] Toliy: And if your process is bad about doing that, like you will continue to suffer in that kind of way of a person who doesn't do their research, for example, and then, and then like, um, um, like, uh, acts out in like poor ways, right? But, but like, if you have particular things that you suffer from and then you go about actually like learning them and understanding it when things happen, like when things happen, um, in your life, you're much better at reacting properly and like accounting for them.

[01:44:15] Toliy: And when things happen, you don't need to have those types of reactions of like anger or like frustration, right? Like you kind of, uh, but we all have that. 

[01:44:25] Eldar: No, no, no, no, no, no. But that, no, but I think that's why we have this podcast in the first place mm-hmm. Where I think that we're trying to Yeah. And make it 

[01:44:29] Toliy: right.

[01:44:30] Eldar: Just because we all have that and we suffer from it doesn't make it right, number one. And doesn't doesn't mean that we can't improve on it. 

[01:44:36] Warren: Yes. 

[01:44:37] Eldar: Right. At the end of the day, we're trying to, we're trying to have critical thinking on our side as to say like, look, the truth of the matter is these things happen.

[01:44:46] Eldar: It's our choice how we react to them. However, sometimes it's not our choice. Why is it sometimes not our choice? 'cause we have a horse in a race because we're attached to something, right? We're celebrating something else, and we're enjoying this moment, and then we get sideswiped with a bad moment. You know, all of a sudden we react.

[01:45:02] Eldar: We are emotional, all stuff. But at the end of the day, we're trying to figure out a way to have that self-control and balance that you talked about this whole time. 

[01:45:09] Toliy: Yeah. Where 1, 1, 1 example, I just wanted to, to bring in like, it would be like if your daughter is hanging out with, for example, someone named John and John is a gang member, and then you're trying to raise awareness, maybe saying how like, hey, like this is what it is, it's not a good idea.

[01:45:24] Toliy: Or like, this is that, and your daughter says, but dad, everyone's friends with John.

[01:45:33] Toliy: Right? Like, just because everyone's friends with that person or everyone's doing something does not make it right. You know? Correct. But for that person, they're gonna be like, what are you talking about? Everyone's friends with him. 

[01:45:41] Eldar: Everyone likes John. He's cool, cool as shit. He's cool as fuck. Everyone's 

[01:45:44] Toliy: cool, 

[01:45:45] Eldar: right?

[01:45:45] Eldar: You're like, oh wait, John's gonna end up in jail. Yeah. You're like n Well, he's, he's loved by everyone. 

[01:45:50] Eldar: Yeah, 

[01:45:50] Eldar: he's cool as hell. He's got, he's gonna be in prison. He has 

[01:45:53] Toliy: 10,000 followers. What are you talking about, dad? 

[01:45:56] Eldar: Yeah. Dad, you're not cool. You don't have 10,000 followers. Who are you? Dad? 

[01:46:00] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:46:01] Eldar: Who are you?

[01:46:02] Eldar: Right. Because we esteem. 10,000 followers. Yeah. Dad doesn't have 10,000 followers. So who do you have to say? I told you I have a pH I I had this too. I was on, on spaces on X and I was listening and I only have about 300 followers for the podcast. Right. And I'm listening to this nonsense that people are spewing.

[01:46:20] Eldar: And I got up on stage and I started saying some stuff, which I think is sensible. Obviously. Duh. How can I not say sensible, un sensible stuff. The person says, you only have 300 followers. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm like, what? 

[01:46:33] Katherine: Wow. Not bad. 

[01:46:35] Eldar: You understand? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, my man. 

[01:46:37] Katherine: He's taking it as like, you, you must not know what you're talking about.

[01:46:40] Eldar: I know exactly what I'm talking. 'cause the, the subject of matter is not about social media and getting followers. It's about something reason or whatever it was. Right. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Right. I didn't defend myself, but then I realized that I'm in a space where the first thing that they check is, it's like face control.

[01:46:58] Eldar: Like how many followers you have. Oh, you have 300. I'm not even listening to you. Like, how relevant are you? What are you talking about? You an idiot. Gigs up. So dad, right. Dad gigs up, you'll loser. I'm gonna talk to John who has 10,000 followers. There you go. That's what we're talking about. Go is allowing her to experiencing pain that John is gonna inflict on her and then she's gonna crawl back on her knees and say, dad, you are right.

[01:47:24] Eldar: I'm sorry, I'm humble Now. Which is, which is. A 

[01:47:27] Warren: proper response, but is the damage is done and it's no coming back. 

[01:47:33] Eldar: The thing is, that's the thing. The thing is, I think that maybe then, based on what I'm sensing, you might have lost that. You might have lost that battle already.

[01:47:44] Eldar: I don't know. Maybe that that conversation is too late to have this type of dynamic, this type of con conversation. 

[01:47:50] Warren: I don't know. I just know teenagers ain't like us. When we were kids, I think life was a lot easier. There was less social media. I think that 

[01:47:58] Eldar: all the old heads talk about like this. I think if I'm just being honest with you, you're an old head.

[01:48:01] Eldar: I don't want hear it. 

[01:48:01] Warren: Yeah, you're right. Um, I think that if we're being honest, look, my childhood, maybe you're a Sue Kat. I come from a, I guess a Caribbean Afro-Latino culture. Every Sunday you go to church. 

[01:48:16] Eldar: Yep. 

[01:48:17] Warren: I think that the social media has replaced a church 

[01:48:20] Eldar: a hundred percent. And the social media 

[01:48:23] Warren: is every single day.

[01:48:26] Warren: Yes. Not social media is on the toilet. Yes. Social media's on the car. Ride to school. Yeah. Social media's on the car, ride to work. Social media's everywhere. 

[01:48:35] Eldar: Yeah. Wow. 100%. And again, 

[01:48:37] Warren: I'm not blaming it because you have to find your balance. You have to know when to turn it off. Yeah. Like for example, like the cyber bullying.

[01:48:42] Warren: I don't believe in cyber bullying. I believe if you are annoying me, I'm just gonna turn it off. 

[01:48:47] Eldar: Yeah, 

[01:48:47] Warren: that's it. Yeah. That's the balance. But. These kids have been indoctrinated into, 

[01:48:53] Eldar: they've been brainwashed into it. Mm-hmm. 

[01:48:55] Warren: Into, oh, that you're not lit if you're not popping Molly's or Yeah. Doing mushrooms or what, whatever, whatever the, the thing is, topic is the new dance, the new plain hooky from school, whatever it is, new shoes or whatever.

[01:49:08] Warren: Yeah. I dunno. So the balance is, you gotta find as much balance as you can. 

[01:49:16] Eldar: N the thing is No, I think the balance, uh, the way I'm gonna conclude this is that I think that balance is a reward of understanding yourself and the world around you. 

[01:49:28] Toliy: Yeah. Ba the balance almost finds itself correct. When you align in proper ways, in according to truths.

[01:49:34] Toliy: Not something that like you need to do to get it. Yes. Like it's going to, it's gonna come to you maneuver in your life. Yeah. As you if, if you know yourself. Yeah. If you know yourself and you live as close as possible to the actual truth, not like your own perceptions of it. 

[01:49:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:49:51] Toliy: Right. Because like lots of times people will say a saying like, I, perception is reality, for example.

[01:49:56] Toliy: Yeah. Right. Or they'll say that. Or, or, or, or, or like, sorry. They'll say like, perception is not reality. Liddy. Right. But the 

[01:50:04] Eldar: no perception is reality is what they say. 

[01:50:05] Toliy: Well, well, well, no, like, so some people say perception's not reality, but I think that like for, for a lot of people, their perception is their actual reality.

[01:50:14] Toliy: Yeah. Like subjective, whatever that you perceive right now is your reality. I. But it may not be the actual reality of it. Yeah. Right. And we were talking about pain is the teacher to basically stupidity like that. Everybody understands it. Right? And if you're doing, if, if you don't align with actual reality, but if your perception is super strong of what what you think is right, that's when you experience that pain.

[01:50:39] Toliy: And that's when you don't have a choice. You know? And 

[01:50:42] Eldar: most of the time, what are we talking about? War? We're talking about ego and arrogance. Yeah. And pride, right? Are the drivers of this, quote unquote realities subjective reality, right? In order for you to get to the objective reality, you have to suffer.

[01:50:59] Eldar: You have to get hit in the head. Right? War you have to go to jail. Yeah, man. Yeah. You gotta get hurt, you gotta bleed. Some people only learn the hard way. That's right. What's wrong with that? But that's, but they proved to them that that's the, what's wrong with that? And the thing is, I'm gonna tell you right now, war, my theory is that everyone, everyone in this world have a, has, has their own threshold of how much pain they need in order to break through their own ignorance, their own ego, and to learn.

[01:51:29] Eldar: Now the question is, what is your daughter's pain threshold? Let's find it. Well, that's her journey, not mine. No, no, no, no, no, no. The thing is, you are attached to this journey, so it is part of your journey as well. Until she's 18, you're gonna endure it as well. And she's on her own. You kicked her out? Hell no.

[01:51:46] Eldar: So what the hell you talking about? She's on her own. I said until she's 18. Oh, okay. And then she's on her own. Okay. How old is she now? 13. Oh, okay. She got five. 

[01:51:54] Warren: You 

[01:51:54] Eldar: kicking her out? 

[01:51:55] Warren: Hell no. I'll never do that. But don't tell her that. Okay. 

[01:51:59] Eldar: She won't listen to the podcast 'cause we're not cool. We don't have 10,000 We're three.

[01:52:04] Eldar: What do you mean 10,000 

[01:52:05] Warren: followers? Bro, you need like a million followers nowadays, right? Yeah. 

[01:52:10] Eldar: We can buy a million followers right now. Harris, you wanna do it? No, man, Harris is the hook needs to blow up on his own man. I can Exactly. We can buy that right now. From, from the Indian 

[01:52:20] Harris: PB like this. Yes. Well we went to the PBR, 

[01:52:23] Harris: we tagged, uh, 

[01:52:24] Harris: the PBR in an announcer.

[01:52:26] Harris: He doesn't know what PBR R is. You have to explain that. 

[01:52:28] Harris: What is that professional bull riding, uh, circuit. And Mike tagged the guy and got, that's where you rub your, that's 

[01:52:34] Eldar: where you rub your balls against a bull. 

[01:52:36] Harris: Hey yo. 

[01:52:38] Eldar: It's dangerous. 

[01:52:39] Harris: Yes. But uh, yeah, we watched a couple injuries. 

[01:52:42] Eldar: Yes. 

[01:52:42] Harris: And, uh, Mike tagged the guy and how many debts All it takes is one.

[01:52:46] Harris: Like from the guy and we can skyr, 

[01:52:48] Eldar: you know? But you said absolutely nothing. I'm gonna click that button if you keep talking. 

[01:52:52] Harris: Oh man. You can kiss my ass. 

[01:52:54] Eldar: I got you. You click the RU down. Oh, fuck you 

[01:52:57] Harris: daddy goddamn 

[01:52:57] Warren: mind. 

[01:52:58] Eldar: Alright guys, let's do some final thoughts on this balance thing. That war sprung up upon us.

[01:53:03] Eldar: Did he, did we say anything? Did we learn anything? But how about this? Yeah. How about we do something different? What did we learn? Harris, we'll start on with Totally. 

[01:53:16] Toliy: Thank you. What? 

[01:53:17] Eldar: Yeah, 

[01:53:17] Toliy: I think, oh, you wanted, yeah. What did we learn? I think I've made an interesting conclusion. 

[01:53:21] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:53:22] Toliy: From, from all of this.

[01:53:23] Toliy: Okay. Right. If you wanna make this into a shirt, oh, that's completely fine. Uhoh, 

[01:53:28] Eldar: we do that as well. We have shirts. 

[01:53:29] Toliy: Alright. But I don't know, I'm gonna try to figure out how to word it properly. I think through, through our actions, nobody actually wants balance. We prove otherwise for it. But our soul wants balance.

[01:53:44] Toliy: Our, our, our soul wants the balance. Mm. The like the, the soul's what wants it. And it always tries to redirect you, I think, in like a particular way to put you in a position to get it. But people, because I, I don't think that like the soul has like attachments, like your inner self doesn't have those kinds of attachments that your, I dunno if you wanna call it outer self has and the outer self.

[01:54:08] Toliy: Like, it, it, it takes much longer to learn. Right? And like, we always make particular decisions or do particular things that shows that we actually wanna live a life not in balance by what we do to ourselves. Right? Either like, uh, overworking or overeating or doing something stupid or like, you know, whatever it is.

[01:54:29] Toliy: Right. Um, stressing about things like being anxious, whatever it is, right? Like we're. Making choices that create imbalance in our lives. But I think that like our, our, our like inner self and our soul is what always tries to help us balance things out or find that kind of way. 

[01:54:49] Eldar: Does that bring anybody comfort and peace?

[01:54:51] Eldar: No. Why? What? He just 

[01:54:54] Harris: said absolutely nothing. 

[01:54:56] Eldar: You didn't understand what he said? No. What he said is profound, whether you like it or not, your ego, your pride, your quote unquote personality and the facade that you put on every single day doesn't mean anything because deep inside there's a soul and it is aligned with universal objective truth, like gravity, right?

[01:55:18] Eldar: Guess what? Everybody knew that when I let this go, it's gonna go down. Your soul is like that. Mm-hmm. It's looking for balance. It's looking for gravity, whether you like it or not, it's looking for that. All the 

[01:55:30] Katherine: imbalances feel, you know, I actually thought that I was natural or eventually overwhelming or whatever.

[01:55:35] Katherine: It's sooner 

[01:55:35] Eldar: or later, sooner or later, your personality and the bullshit that you spew yourself. The box checking that Catherine does all day long. You know what I mean? The totally anxiety, right? You so deep inside's gonna say, yo, you out of whack, my man. Enough is enough. Here's your pain and joy. Gravity.

[01:55:54] Eldar: Yeah. I think 

[01:55:54] Toliy: the more, the more, 

[01:55:55] Eldar: this is profound. 

[01:55:56] Toliy: The, the more we learn and the better we get at learning. 

[01:56:01] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:56:01] Toliy: The closer we then align with the soul. Yes. And we don't have to go so far out to then get the balance to come back in. We can, you know, like our, our mistakes are not like, as crazy or big or like as impactful in that kind of way where we don't have to go, uh, we, we, we, we don't need to go do 20 years in prison, for example, to like learn a particular lesson or go do something like whatever it is, right?

[01:56:25] Toliy: Um, as we get better at learning, we will be closer and closer to our soul. And then I think that you can get to a certain point where like, like, we live like, like we're, like, humans are all habitual creatures, right? It's not like, okay, like one day you're like doing this, the next day you're doing something completely different.

[01:56:45] Toliy: Like we're relatively, I think for the most part, doing very much similar things every single day. And there's rare times where we do completely different things right? Or have crazy surprises. And I think that we can account and we can react properly in a particular ways to almost every, everything that we do.

[01:57:05] Toliy: And if we do that, we'll be, I think, much closer, um, aligned with our souls and we'll, we'll, we'll get that balance that we're, we're talking about now, 

[01:57:16] Harris: you know about, 

[01:57:17] Eldar: and when totally asks you the question that about your day and how your day goes, and according to how you planned it to be, your answer would be, of course, it goes to the way I want it to be.

[01:57:28] Eldar: How do we have to plan for it? Fuck is wrong with you? 

[01:57:31] Speaker 9: Yeah, 

[01:57:31] Eldar: because what he said is that because we are habitual creatures, and if we fine tune that, ha those habits around our day, that's gonna come out the way you want it to come out because you thought about it, you are intentional about it, and you get exactly what you want out of it, and therefore you're happy.

[01:57:49] Eldar: Therefore, you have no surprises. You're not an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. So, follow up question. I dig deep, deep. I 

[01:57:56] Warren: wanna dig deep. 

[01:57:57] Eldar: Okay. Hold on one second. So, is the soul the closest thing to God or the natural? 

[01:58:02] Toliy: I think the, the soul is like the actual connection to God, for example. There you go. That's the exact I agree with that.

[01:58:09] Toliy: A hundred percent wine 

[01:58:10] Warren: war. Alright, here we go. Oh, oh, ohoh. So I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pee back off of what totally said yes and I'm gonna add a layer. Whoa, 

[01:58:20] Eldar: whoa. 

[01:58:20] Warren: This might add, we love this kind of stuff. Another hour to this podcast. We love that after I say this, 

[01:58:25] Eldar: Hey, hey, if you break out records six hours, man, we're good with that right now.

[01:58:29] Eldar: Well, I don't know if I can break six hours. 

[01:58:30] Warren: We did too. We did too. Alright, so balance. Let's start with the root balance. He's saying that the I soul, you're never gonna be in balance. 

[01:58:41] Eldar: No, no. But he's saying that the soul is always looking for you because it is in innate. 

[01:58:45] Warren: Lemme get to that. Lemme get to that.

[01:58:45] Warren: Yeah. Yeah. So whenever you're, so it's like a scale, right? You ever see those old school skills where you try to get it to mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. So it, the, the, the purpose is to get it exact 

[01:58:58] Eldar: correct, 

[01:58:58] Warren: but it'll never be exact because you might be balancing the friendship side of your whatever situation.

[01:59:09] Warren: Mm-hmm. Okay. And then the marital side may be out of balance. Mm-hmm. And then the recreational side will be out of balance, work, the work, whatever it is. Right. So, I agree, you're never gonna be fully balanced, but I believe there's two states that is extremely close to fully balance and only one is absolute balance.

[01:59:34] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:59:34] Warren: You ready? 

[01:59:35] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:59:35] Warren: The first state that is probably the, actually actual closest to balance sleep is a state of relaxation. Sleep. No, no relaxation. Okay. Fine. 

[01:59:49] Eldar: Balance may be death where you're completely at rest. 

[01:59:56] Eldar: A hundred percent. 

[01:59:58] Warren: 100%. I have not considered 

[01:59:59] Eldar: that, but 100%. 100%. Think about it. 

[02:00:04] Warren: 100%. Think about it.

[02:00:06] Warren: What do they say? Rest in peace. No, no, no, no. Sleep in peace. 

[02:00:09] Eldar: Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. But the, there's a reason why we sleep. Mm-hmm. You thought about that. I know. Okay. Okay. What, why does sleep after actual deep sleep. We feel what? Rejuvenate. Why? Because we have to restart the day and figure this thing out in order to then what?

[02:00:28] Eldar: Find the balance in reality once again. Yep. Yeah. But if you don't, if you don't, if you don't find balance and check out this way, the way this works. Right. Death is inevitable. Right? Well, 

[02:00:41] Warren: regardless. 

[02:00:41] Eldar: No, no, no. It's regardless. But sometimes it's premature for the individuals who was highly imbalanced.

[02:00:47] Eldar: Absolutely. Therefore, death is inevitable and it's an escape in order to To restore balance. Correct. To restore balance. Yeah. 100%. That's why there's suicides do to try. That's why there's suicide. That's why animals don't suicide. You know why? Because they're closest to God. 

[02:01:03] Toliy: Yeah. And I, and, and, and I feel like a lot of our like, like, um, like because our soul is balanced, a lot of all the actions we di we we take, we're like running away from the balance.

[02:01:16] Toliy: So we're like our ego, our attachments, like all that is like what's causing the imbalance. So like, the thing we're searching for, I, I don't think that like, we need to look for something. We're, we're running away from something versus like looking for it, you know, because our, our inner self and like that, that state that you're talking about, like re relaxation for example.

[02:01:38] Toliy: Right. What, what's, what's happening when you're relaxed, you're probably not thinking, right. Well, I'll tell you what happens 

[02:01:42] Warren: for me when I'm relaxed, and Kat can probably relate when I'm on a, like, let's just say I'm on a beach with my, with you guys wearing baby beach in Aruba. It depends on what I'm doing.

[02:01:54] Warren: I might be just walking to go get a beer and my mind is at complete ease. Okay. I'm not thinking about work in that moment. Yes. I'm not thinking about the kids because they're right behind me. I'm not thinking about the money in my pocket because it's not necessary right now. Yeah. I'm not thinking about the light bill, the water bill, the gas bill, the, the, the new solar panels I put up.

[02:02:18] Warren: Okay. I'm just thinking about what a view 

[02:02:22] Toliy: You're in the moment. Yeah. So then you're, you're basically, you're present, like your testimony is that when you think you are in, in balance. Right, because he, he, he said that he is like the most state of like, of, of balance and relaxations. Like he's at the beach or just walking like on vacation for example.

[02:02:40] Toliy: Yeah. You said he is not thinking about work or the kids or money or like this or that. Yeah, so I'm saying that like, like if you give that kind of testimony, you're then saying that the state of you thinking is imbalance. Right? 100%. Especially if that thinking 

[02:02:53] Eldar: is constant. The way your 

[02:02:54] Toliy: thoughts and the way that you go about life causes you then imbalance that when you go on vacation and you relax, now you have it.

[02:03:02] Toliy: 'cause now you're, you don't have that anymore. 

[02:03:04] Warren: It sounds like. You have to keep coming back to this podcast, dude. Absolutely. I'll be back. I'm off Friday, Saturdays now. Sick. It fucked me at work. 

[02:03:11] Eldar: What do you mean fucked? You? You have to look at it the right way, dude. 

[02:03:15] Warren: What? 

[02:03:15] Eldar: They inconvenienced me. Yeah. But now you can come here.

[02:03:18] Eldar: We so we can help you liberate your ass balance. 

[02:03:21] Warren: Yeah. The universe did that. That's right. 

[02:03:24] Eldar: No, no, no war. Bad luck. Or, you know what it is, how it's happening? I think it's happening is that we're gonna help you transition. Yeah. It's 

[02:03:32] Harris: not the way we're trying to don't. Yes. Don't throw 

[02:03:34] Eldar: war in that circle, man.

[02:03:36] Eldar: No, I mean, of course. Listen, in 20 months he has to completely change his identity. It's gonna be a fuck. But I 

[02:03:42] Warren: don't want to completely change. 

[02:03:44] Eldar: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not, we're not trying to change you for the worst. Don't be scared here. No, no, no. But I think that there will be some kind of change.

[02:03:50] Eldar: And I think that it absolutely has to be, there has to be. It's not change. It's growth. It's growth. Yeah. For the better growth. Oh yeah. Think about 

[02:03:56] Toliy: like Yeah, I think like the only, like the closest thing to like relate to it like a, like a career span wise, right. Is like an athlete, right? 

[02:04:07] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:04:07] Toliy: They like a long professional career is like 15 to 20 years.

[02:04:11] Toliy: Yeah. And then they're like, yeah. Around the age of 40, right. 38, 37, around that place. And now they need to stop what they've been doing for what they consider like their whole life. 'cause you can't do it like that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. And then now like, yeah, a lot of them go nuts. They go like. Like, like, like completely nuts.

[02:04:28] Toliy: Because now, like their identity is completely different as to who they are. This athlete consumed 

[02:04:34] Eldar: by 

[02:04:34] Toliy: it. Yeah. Like now they, like, they have time. They like, like, uh, like a lot of them don't wanna retire because like, they don't wanna lose who they are, for example. Right. And I, and like, like in, and like in what warned us, for example, like he's been doing the same thing for, he's consumed 

[02:04:48] Eldar: by it every single day time.

[02:04:49] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. He's consumed 

[02:04:50] Toliy: by it. By it. So Yeah. Like, like if he doesn't prepare properly, I definitely think he will have like a, 

[02:04:56] Eldar: he might take a long nap just to struggle. 

[02:04:57] Toliy: Just to rest. Yeah. 

[02:05:00] Warren: And that's why for me, it's very important for me to re ingratiate myself with you guys. That's right. Because it's, you know, you guys are gonna keep me balanced.

[02:05:08] Warren: 100%. We're looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to it. 

[02:05:11] Eldar: Good. Yeah. We're gonna travel more. We're gonna chill. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. And I, I, I can relate to the sports thing too, because I've been playing basketball for a very long time on a very, my, uh, these high level. And now that me and Mike started rock climbing, it's a completely different experience.

[02:05:27] Eldar: You know, completely learning about our myself on a different sport is, is crazy. Like, 

[02:05:34] Warren: well, you know, they say athletes go through two deaths. 

[02:05:37] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:05:38] Warren: They go through a death of their primes. 

[02:05:41] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:05:42] Warren: And then they go through a death. With their relevancy. 

[02:05:45] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[02:05:46] Warren: For example, Carmelo Anthony, remember when he was on the nix, he, towards the end, he wasn't looking good.

[02:05:50] Warren: He couldn't jump. He was looking terrible out there. Yeah. And then now he walks down the street, nobody knows who he is. Nobody cares. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh my God, why's this happening to 

[02:06:00] Eldar: me? Yeah. 

[02:06:01] Warren: It's a universe's way of balancing you. That's right. Because that fame bringing a humble Yeah. That notoriety, that's not normal.

[02:06:07] Warren: That's not normal. Yeah. That's not normal. Yeah. We're not meant to be like, like a Beyonce. She can't walk down the street. Yeah. She gets swarmed. Yeah. You know, that's not normal. That's not, 

[02:06:16] Katherine: yeah. 

[02:06:17] Toliy: Yeah. And some, some, some athletes, I think they, they mean they go through this in the very beginning. Mm-hmm.

[02:06:23] Toliy: Right. Because they say that like, like they have a hard time being like a specialty role. Like you're just a shooter, for example. 

[02:06:29] Speaker 9: Mm-hmm. 

[02:06:30] Toliy: Because like that person that's on the bench doesn't get any playing time in high school and college. They're all conference all state. 

[02:06:36] Warren: Yeah. Superstars, superstar superstars.

[02:06:38] Toliy: Right. In the newspaper, all county most points scored at that high school. Everything. And then they make it to the NBA. They're noddies. They're nobodies. Right. So like that guy that would average 30 a game and do everything, how's he supposed to now? Like he could get more playing time by just playing defense and getting rebounds in blocks than trying to score 30.

[02:07:00] Toliy: But they go in there with the mentality of trying to score 30 because their whole life, they're these superstars on this lower level and they can't find the role. And then they never make it in the NBA because they can't just say, Hey, I'm just gonna shoot threes. I. This is what I'm good at. That's it.

[02:07:16] Eldar: Look, at the end of the day, we're all talking about balance, but balance is closely tied to our soul. 

[02:07:21] Toliy: Yeah. 

[02:07:21] Eldar: And the faster we find out what our soul actually requires for us to be in balance and peaceful and happy, the, the, the better we'll do, because these identities, right. Uh, a basketball player, a cop, a sales guy, whoever, these are all identities, constructs that we've created based on social, social things.

[02:07:43] Eldar: Then there's a soul. And our soul is very specific. And the faster that we find balance 

[02:07:50] Eldar: for the soul, the faster that would be better off. You know? That's 

[02:07:56] Toliy: good. Why? And the funny thing is that like, I, I was, I was, I was saying when you were in the bathroom, but we're always trying to like, find something.

[02:08:03] Toliy: But I think in this case, it's more of like a letting go thing. 

[02:08:05] Eldar: Oh, yeah. 

[02:08:06] Toliy: Because your, your soul, like you already have all these things. 

[02:08:09] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:08:09] Toliy: But it's difficult to have the mentality of Yeah. Letting things go, to get, I guess, more almost, right? Yeah. Rather than going to find things to gain, like the, the, the process of finding something to get more is what we all like is a very easy concept to un to understand.

[02:08:25] Toliy: Right? Like, you have, you go from one apple to 10 apples, you have more apples. Right. But in these kinds of things, letting go of things is like, you're, you're losing something almost. 

[02:08:35] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:08:35] Toliy: Right? And like oftentimes that, that, that's like a crazy battle. Like the anxiety world is like. The process of letting something go, um, is difficult because it feels like you're losing something, but you're not actually losing something.

[02:08:49] Toliy: You're actually like gaining something. But that concept is difficult to understand because the way that we grew up, it's like the complete opposite of everything that we've ever been taught. 

[02:08:59] Eldar: And I think that's probably, if you're gonna relate to this war, and I think that's probably gonna be the role that as a parent, um, has to be redefined for you when it comes to your girls, right.

[02:09:09] Eldar: Where maybe you are a parent, but maybe you have to transform that a little bit, maybe into their cheerleader. Right. Uh, and I know it's probably hard to hear, right? But very, yeah. You know, uh, where you were the educator, right? A lot of the times. But I think that you might have to mask the educator with a cheerleader for a little bit in order to be heard, right?

[02:09:32] Eldar: Because now you are looking for and grasping for little pockets of freedom where they're gonna be receptive for your knowledge. Because I think you have a lot to offer and obviously it's good, but the truth of the matter is, right. Uh, you're not relevant, bro. You don't have 10,000 followers. That's how it goes.

[02:09:47] Eldar: You know? That's why you still wearing Jordans. Just trying to relate. Yeah. There embarrassing. I'm 

[02:09:50] Warren: still trying to be young. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. I, I, I always used to think to myself like, man, I'm the coolest parent. Like, I'm incorporating what my parents did, the good things, and I'm incorporating into nowadays, and it's like.

[02:10:06] Mike: Nope. 

[02:10:07] Warren: Not enough. What's going on? It's not enough. Not enough. You see, let's go back to balance. 

[02:10:11] Eldar: Oh, 

[02:10:14] Warren: in Rastafari teaching. 

[02:10:15] Eldar: Okay. 

[02:10:17] Warren: We are all way out of balance 'cause we're not in tune with nature. 

[02:10:22] Eldar: Agreed. 

[02:10:25] Warren: When we were quote unquote cavemen, let's just say, 

[02:10:27] Eldar: yeah. 

[02:10:28] Warren: We would walk through the jungle, the bush, the mountains, whatever, and we'd go, Hey, look, that plant right there, that's poison ivy.

[02:10:36] Warren: Don't touch it. 

[02:10:36] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[02:10:37] Warren: Oh, look, that bush right there, we can put it on our skin for the sunburn. So on and so forth. And now we're so outta whack. There's a pill for everything. 

[02:10:49] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:10:49] Warren: There's a cream, a ointment, there's a diagnosis, there's a prescription for everything. Yeah. So we're way out of balance, 

[02:10:57] Eldar: for sure.

[02:10:59] Eldar: Agreed. Some thought. Agreed. And I think that they're speaking to the soul. 

[02:11:04] Warren: To the soul. And Rastafari teaching. Correct. What you call a soul. We would say, well, I'm not a, I don't consider myself a rockier, but I did learn some of the teachings. It's called like life. So you put me on some good 

[02:11:18] Eldar: music, man.

[02:11:19] Warren: Absolutely. Yeah. Life the soul is like the, the word would be like life, let's just say, right? Yeah. And in the teaching of Rastafari, there's no ending to life. 

[02:11:29] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:11:30] Warren: So what happens is it's almost like, for example. There's only one life, but the vessel named Eldar is carrying the same life that the vessel named Penny is carrying.

[02:11:47] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:11:47] Warren: So it's almost like a building. The building is here. 

[02:11:50] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[02:11:50] Warren: But if you remove the building, the life is still there. 

[02:11:53] Eldar: Life is life. Yeah. 

[02:11:54] Warren: Life is life. Yeah. Just some food for thought, just something to 

[02:12:00] Katherine: for sure. Life is life. 

[02:12:01] Warren: Life is life. 

[02:12:02] Toliy: You don't have to believe, Warren, that you can look that up. Are you done?

[02:12:06] Toliy: Man, 

[02:12:09] Eldar: baby? What do you think? What are you saying? This is 

[02:12:12] Katherine: a great topic. I I, 

[02:12:13] Eldar: you needed to hear that. 

[02:12:15] Katherine: Yeah. I, I, you 

[02:12:16] Eldar: realize that you miss out on a lot of stuff because you don't come. 

[02:12:18] Katherine: Yeah. Oh shit. I do. 

[02:12:21] Eldar: Where are you baby? 

[02:12:24] Katherine: Well, every other week, you know, I'm hosting my mom. 

[02:12:26] Eldar: Oh, okay. That's, that's a pretty good excuse.

[02:12:28] Eldar: Harris. Does that excuse pass or no? Can't. I can't. No. 'cause you're pretty good at those excuses too. 

[02:12:33] Harris: Sorry, Kat. 

[02:12:35] Warren: Maybe we should incorporate your mom into the podcast and maybe one day we can incorporate you guys nieces into the podcast. We would love that. Maybe even Jalen. Absolutely. We would love that.

[02:12:46] Warren: Of course, nephew. 

[02:12:47] Eldar: Absolutely. We always welcome 

[02:12:48] Warren: whoever. 

[02:12:49] Katherine: Yeah, everyone is welcome. 

[02:12:50] Warren: However you think we're cool enough for them though. 

[02:12:53] Katherine: We're not. Cool. 

[02:12:54] Warren: I have Rolex. Does that count or no? I have an Invicta. 

[02:12:58] Harris: I got a 

[02:12:59] Eldar: fex as a Well, do they know what a Rolex is? No, that's still, that's still relevant in they mine too.

[02:13:05] Eldar: I can wear How many 

[02:13:05] Warren: followers do you have? That's the more I could 

[02:13:07] Eldar: wear another watch on my right wrist. I know that that's a big thing nowadays. Tell 

[02:13:10] Warren: him, 

[02:13:10] Harris: uh, Harris is the hooks. You know, we, we could also just start throwing some 

[02:13:14] Toliy: cash in like 

[02:13:15] Harris: the, uh Oh 

[02:13:15] Eldar: yeah. On the floor. 

[02:13:16] Harris: Yeah. 

[02:13:17] Eldar: All right. Cool. 

[02:13:17] Harris: There's, uh, there's five Tesla sitting outside right now.

[02:13:21] Harris: I think that's gold. High rollers. 

[02:13:22] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:13:24] Eldar: So baby Mike. 

[02:13:28] Katherine: I don't have a mic. Mic is not mic. I air. I, I don't think I have final words, but, but I, 

[02:13:33] Eldar: yeah, you asked me. Yeah, baby. Say it. I 

[02:13:35] Katherine: don't, I don't, I think you guys did a great job at like, I guess summarizing what we spoke about or, or, um, I hadn't thought about what you said before.

[02:13:45] Katherine: Mm-hmm. About how balance is almost like, did you say a gift or, um, a reward. That's a 

[02:13:52] Eldar: almost a reward. 

[02:13:52] Katherine: Yeah. I had, I had, like, if you had asked me about that before, I would've never phrased it that way. But now that I think about it, I, I like how you expressed that. I also agree with what totally said.

[02:14:03] Katherine: Mm-hmm. And I also agree with Warren said so. 

[02:14:06] Warren: Yeah. This has been very thought provoking. Yeah. Very thought provoked. Like, I'm in a tug of war 'cause I'm listening to what Toley says and I'm like, no. 

[02:14:13] Speaker 9: Yes. 

[02:14:14] Warren: Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah, hang on. That's a good point. Yeah. You know, and it's like, yeah. I think it, it is good to stimulate the mind, you know?

[02:14:22] Warren: Oh yeah. You to stimulate the mind. 

[02:14:24] Eldar: We'll do it 

[02:14:24] Warren: every Friday and this 

[02:14:25] Katherine: is how we learn. So it is nice and a lot of times, you know, sometimes we also learn about ourselves. 'cause our ego might, might be telling us like, oh absolutely for me, my to resist. But 

[02:14:33] Warren: my favorite thing though is the, the perspective that's offered because, you know, I, I believe that we're just, like you said, we're habitual creatures.

[02:14:46] Warren: We're just locked into whatever we have going on. Mm-hmm. And sometimes you don't really see the other side and there's numerous other sides. That's right. You know, so it, it just offers so much perspectives. And then once you get more perspective, you have more options. And once you have more options, you have more avenues to navigate in order to find your own balance.

[02:15:12] Eldar: A hundred percent mind. 

[02:15:13] Toliy: Yeah. But I think, think it's very difficult. It's very diff difficult, I think, to have that kind of mi mindset where, where like you view what other people say as like different options or different like considerations versus like. But 

[02:15:29] Eldar: he esteems that. Yeah, he says that. Like, look, I appreciate that he's aware of that and that No, I know.

[02:15:33] Eldar: That's what, what I saying, that puts him like above like 99.9% of people. Yeah. 

[02:15:37] Toliy: Yeah. I think Mo most people are gonna like, don't have that attitude. Yeah. They don't have that kind of attitude that like, okay, like let's say you think something and I think something, right. We can have a conversation about it and like, it's not about like necessarily like agreeing or disagreeing.

[02:15:50] Toliy: It's just Yeah. It's about, 

[02:15:51] Warren: it's just, yeah. Like the fluidity. Fluidity of it. Yeah. Maybe 

[02:15:55] Toliy: I'll have two good points. You'll have two good points and you can go back and forth on something and it's all, yeah, it's all different options and opportunities for you to then consider this or consider that, but yeah, I think most, most, most people view it as like more like, um, like, uh, like negative things, like an attack.

[02:16:14] Eldar: Well, no, I, you sure. But at least in this circle right here. I think we're trying to get to the bottom of it. No. Yeah. Like we're trying to get to the bottom of the fact that we all have souls. They all are very sensitive and they need the truth in order to function properly and good and balance. 

[02:16:30] Katherine: We 

[02:16:30] Eldar: have, I balances, you know what I mean?

[02:16:31] Eldar: Yeah. We're all humans and like, and at the end of the day, if one has it and the other one doesn't, we're trying to give that. Knowledge. Mm-hmm. To the other individual. If they fight, sure. You can fight for so long. Right. We're trying to literally brainwash Harris into our perspective in order for him to feel better.

[02:16:48] Eldar: Warren is trying to brainwash his kids into that perspective so they can feel better. Right? Yeah. He's trying to give that to them that John, who has 10,000 followers, is trying to brainwash his kids into his perspective. 

[02:17:00] Toliy: Yeah. 

[02:17:01] Eldar: Right? Everybody's trying to influence one another into their own perspective.

[02:17:05] Eldar: Yeah. Whether or not it's good or bad or whatever. But the truth of the matter is the soul does never lie. They're 

[02:17:09] Katherine: literally called influencers. Isn't that ironic? 

[02:17:12] Eldar: It's not ironic. 

[02:17:13] Katherine: Well, the people that it's, 

[02:17:14] Eldar: it's proper. Yeah. It's proper. It's proper. 

[02:17:17] Toliy: It's a very well thought out word. Correct. Very 

[02:17:19] Eldar: well thought out.

[02:17:20] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And the truth of the matter is, we're the best podcast in the world. Thank you. Word, 

[02:17:28] Warren: but nobody heard about us. I also like this show. I like the fact that my phone is put down. I feel like I'm watching you Ever watch that movie? Are dances with wolves. Oh, I think I did. Yes. Oh, did, but a long time ago.

[02:17:39] Warren: Yeah. There's obscene and, and I guess this goes to like these ancient culture, I don't wanna say ancient, but a lot of older cultures before phones and all that stuff. Mm-hmm. Where, and, and the first thing that came to my mind was dancing with wolves where the, the guy sits in with the Native Americans and they're in a big circle around a campfire and they just talk.

[02:18:00] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:18:00] Warren: And they tell stories. 

[02:18:02] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:18:02] Warren: And that's how the knowledge, the wisdom and the understanding passed on is passed down. 

[02:18:07] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:18:07] Warren: From generation to generation. Yeah. To generation 100%. And it's like, look, look, we're sitting in a circle right now. Yeah. Just talking reasoning. That's right. That's right. And it feels good.

[02:18:17] Warren: Of course. There you therapeutic? Yeah. I'm 

[02:18:20] Eldar: free. There you go. Matrix

[02:18:26] Eldar: Harris, calm down please. Are you fucking done? Oh, fuck 

[02:18:29] Warren: you Harris. We didn't, we didn't get Harris's 2 cents. Let's, yeah. All right, Harris, 

[02:18:32] Eldar: leave us with something, man. Let's sell. So something good balance. I don't think, is it real? Is it not? Is it a fucking made up 

[02:18:39] Harris: word? Fake news? What is it? It's real. But I got a long way before I'm balanced.

[02:18:44] Harris: Boy. I'm unhinged. Okay. 

[02:18:47] Eldar: That's 

[02:18:47] Harris: fair. No, that's a, that's a 

[02:18:50] Eldar: truthful testimony. Boy, that's good. That's good that you're saying that you disagree with what 

[02:18:54] Mike: No, I agree with what you're saying, but I also think, uh, also disagree in, in a certain way. 

[02:19:00] Harris: My, my life is completely unbalanced. You see? I mean, Mike, I think that's a very good thing.

[02:19:05] Harris: I think there's 

[02:19:05] Eldar: a very good, good start to right. To say like, you know what guys? Based on what I'm hearing, based on what's going on, and my reflection point is that like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah, that's good. 

[02:19:15] Speaker 9: Yeah. Sooner or later 

[02:19:16] Eldar: is gonna say, yo, enough is enough. Like, I want to figure my life out.

[02:19:18] Eldar: Right? Yeah. Life, I'm in pain. Mm-hmm. 

[02:19:20] Toliy: It's, I wanna reduce 

[02:19:21] Eldar: my pain. 

[02:19:22] Toliy: I, I think it's very good, but I think the question will always, but, 

[02:19:25] Eldar: but, 

[02:19:26] Toliy: but, but I think the question is how long can he extend that feeling? Right. 

[02:19:31] Eldar: If he's here and he continues to think, 

[02:19:34] Toliy: yeah. 

[02:19:34] Eldar: Not so long, because sooner or later you're gonna run out and you be like, what the fuck is wrong with me?

[02:19:38] Toliy: No, no. 

[02:19:39] Eldar: I have to do something about it. Don't 

[02:19:40] Toliy: saying like, the longer he extends that feeling and the longer he actually believes that mm-hmm. The better it is. 

[02:19:46] Eldar: Yeah. For him. 

[02:19:47] Toliy: For for him. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. That's when I think the questions will change and the actions will change when you actually like, capitalize on it.

[02:19:55] Toliy: Amount of time. Yeah. Yeah. Believe that they're like, Hey, because it was like, if you actually think about it and your shit is out of whack, you can only be out of whack for so long. That's right. Before you become humble and you're ready to ask and, and learn and ask for help. 

[02:20:09] Eldar: Yeah. Right. So let let your daughters be outta whack.

[02:20:12] Eldar: Okay. Yeah. The faster gonna ask you. I'm say, I'm here whenever you're ready. I'm here. I love you. I care for you, and I'll be here when you're ready. But right now you have to get hit over the head by reality. I'll let God take his course. Reality 

[02:20:27] Eldar: is undefeated. 

[02:20:29] Speaker 9: Yeah. 

[02:20:29] Eldar: Yes or no?

[02:20:33] Speaker 9: A hundred percent. 

[02:20:35] Eldar: How about this hard question. Ready? And maybe this is for next topic, food for thought. Do you feel a little bit, um, guilty or maybe Yes. Negligent that? Yes. You did. You do. Okay. So it hurts a little bit. Lemme tell you 

[02:20:51] Warren: why. No. Not in a negative way. So what happens is, yeah, you're out of balance.

[02:20:57] Warren: Yeah. It's passed on. So I cannot give my children in time. 

[02:21:01] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:21:01] Warren: I give them with money or gifts or rewards. Yeah. Yeah. When a lot of times time is one of the most important things. 

[02:21:10] Eldar: It's the most valuable. Yeah. 

[02:21:11] Warren: And you know what's funny too? Even in in that's honest bro. In like police culture. 

[02:21:14] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:21:14] Warren: Uh, I, I had a, I, I think I learned this from his old timer.

[02:21:18] Warren: I used to say like, you know, uh, time is for criminals. Mm-hmm. Money is for me because then in our job, we can take our overtime in time. 

[02:21:27] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:21:28] Warren: Or you can take it in whatever the cash value is, time and a half holiday pay, whatever. Yeah. So the police culture is like, yo, I gotta get the overtime. I gotta get the overtime.

[02:21:38] Warren: Yeah. The time is for the criminals. Mm. They get time behind bars. Yeah. Yeah. But a lot of time now that I'm 

[02:21:46] Eldar: looking at 

[02:21:47] Warren: it, now that I'm actually. One year, eight months, 13 hours, 44 minutes and 42 seconds away from retiring. 

[02:21:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:21:58] Warren: Time is actually just as valuable. Yeah. Maybe more. Who knows? 

[02:22:03] Katherine: Yeah. 

[02:22:04] Warren: So, um, yes. So you, you have that.

[02:22:08] Warren: Okay. Of course you're being honest with, so listen, no, I, I don't, I don't think, I think even the parent 

[02:22:13] Eldar: was that, was that the only grade that, that, that told you that you might be doing something wrong? 

[02:22:17] Warren: Wait, I'm sorry. 

[02:22:18] Eldar: The grade of the fact that like, you're seeing your kids maybe fuck up a little bit and that you weren't there when No, 

[02:22:22] Warren: listen, let me not sit here and, and, and, and, and, and portray something that's not accurate.

[02:22:29] Warren: My children are doing excellent, bro. Mm-hmm. Brooklyn is on the, the highest honor roll. She's in seventh grade. She's on pace to be valedictorian again. 

[02:22:42] Katherine: Oh. 

[02:22:42] Warren: Mm-hmm. And Chiquita is right there, uh, 87 grade point average, which is, you know, you, you of course you want your kids to strive for number one, but that's something to applaud too.

[02:22:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:22:57] Warren: I'm just having, I think the biggest issue I'm having is the fact that, um, you know, and I think we 

[02:23:06] Eldar: all did it at some point, you know, we follow.

[02:23:15] Warren: Right. Like I, I, I think my daughter is a bit of a follower. She's a bit of a trend seeker and not trend maker. Setter. Setter. Correct. And, um, you know, like, I, I think we all can say, yo, we, you feel bad about 

[02:23:32] Eldar: that, 

[02:23:33] Warren: obviously. No, I don't feel bad. I think it's part of life, but I just No, obviously you would want her to be a trendsetter.

[02:23:38] Warren: Of course, everybody listen. Lauren wants her to be empowered, but you have to understand something in life. Somebody has to clean up the garbage in life. Somebody has to make millions of dollars in life. There's everybody in between that. Yeah, those two. 

[02:23:57] Eldar: But you can't come to terms with the fact that your daughter might have to do it.

[02:24:00] Warren: No, not at all. I do. I just, I just want what's best for them. Yeah. And I want to see them win, of course. And I don't want to see them struggle, but. Maybe they have to. Maybe they have to. Yeah. Is and that's fair. And, and yeah, they will. Yeah. 'cause everybody struggles. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Even the, the, the multi-billionaire with all the resources Yeah.

[02:24:22] Warren: Mm-hmm. Are gonna have issues. 100%. So I don't know, it's just different 

[02:24:27] Eldar: because the soul of, it's 

[02:24:28] Warren: just like, you know, I don't want compare Penny and Archie to my daughters, but at the same time, if you didn't do the, all the work you did with them mm-hmm. To know when they need to go out, when they need to do this, when they need vet, when they need trim, they'd be out of balance too.

[02:24:41] Warren: That's right. But look, they're chilling. 

[02:24:43] Eldar: She's 

[02:24:44] Warren: out of balance. One of us got a little hum. Catherine was doing bad job. That's okay.

[02:24:50] Warren: Nothing wrong 

[02:24:51] Harris: with the Pam. Of course you would relate to Pam. 

[02:24:54] Eldar: Win and think about it. 

[02:24:56] Warren: Yeah. My girl. Man, you better watch out. 

[02:24:58] Eldar: I know. Alright 

[02:24:59] Warren: guys. 

[02:25:01] Eldar: Did we say anything about violence or no? 

[02:25:03] Warren: Did we solve it or no? We said a lot. No, there's no solving, there's just building. 

[02:25:08] Eldar: Okay. You have a problem with the world solving.

[02:25:11] Warren: There's no, there's no solution. 

[02:25:13] Eldar: We, we figured it out Well, because we figured it out. A 

[02:25:16] Warren: solution for you. 

[02:25:17] Eldar: No, but no, no, no, no, 

[02:25:18] Warren: no, no. About this. Right. 

[02:25:20] Eldar: Are, are we objectively agreeing the fact that we all have souls? 

[02:25:24] Warren: Yes. Yes. 

[02:25:25] Eldar: And and that's our souls are the closest to the natural. The natural. 

[02:25:30] Warren: Yes. Okay. Or supernatural.

[02:25:32] Eldar: Right. Oh, fine. Supernatural. And they all follow gravity, right? God. Nature. Nature, right, right here, every single time it's not gonna float. It's gravity. Our souls like that. So what did we get wrong? The fact that our soul needs balance. 

[02:25:50] Eldar: Yes. 

[02:25:51] Eldar: That's it. Yeah. But I feel that's a universal truth that all, all, all of us are objectively agreed on.

[02:25:58] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. My my 

[02:25:59] Eldar: What's wrong with That's nothing wrong. Nothing. 

[02:26:02] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like, like, not like, like he's got a problem. Yeah. He's got a problem, he's got a problem, he's got a, have a problem with, uh, with, with saying that like, we can't solve something. Right. Because I feel like, and Warren's been saying that a lot.

[02:26:17] Toliy: Yeah. Are you giving up on me, man? Yeah. No, there's 

[02:26:19] Warren: no giving up. All it's, it's, it's, it's understanding. 

[02:26:22] Toliy: Yeah. I think that you're, you're, you're underestimating, hold on, hold on, hold on. Your, your own abilities, own understanding. No, no, no. Understanding. 

[02:26:28] Warren: There's no, I i, I, I firmly believe that there's temporary fixes and I believe that you may solve something here and then the problem shift to something else.

[02:26:43] Warren: So, for example, maybe, I don't know, I don't wanna be vulgar or anything, but I'm just gonna be as blunt as possible. Maybe this kid might need a DHD medication to calm down, but maybe this guy. Might need his dick suck to calm down. You know what I'm saying? Demon on him. There's no, there's no, yeah. Every, your solution may not be the same as mine.

[02:27:10] Mike: But what you're saying is you are using the words using, it's not, that's not balance. 

[02:27:16] Warren: No. You need balance. No, 

[02:27:17] Mike: no. But, 

[02:27:18] Warren: but everyone, everyone may require something different. Different. No, I agree. So you may require a party to relax. Yeah. I may require a massage. Yeah. But tomorrow, yeah. You may require massage.

[02:27:29] Warren: A massage, and I may require a party. Yeah. And I think it just, it just goes, it moves. It moves is the 

[02:27:35] Mike: balance is not in the action though. It's not in the getting your, your dingdong sucked or going to the party. It's just state of mind and that you could, you know, like some people relax, like, uh, with a heavy metal concert and some people relax.

[02:27:50] Mike: No, when 

[02:27:50] Warren: I say that, because you have to remember. Mm-hmm. It, it's, it's the balance. Mm-hmm. Be attributed to stimuli. Right. You, you just make an, 

[02:28:03] Eldar: I think he's Just make an example. Yeah. Example. Yeah. I think balance. So you may need 

[02:28:06] Warren: stimuli, you may need a hundred percent stimuli Yes. Based on where you're at.

[02:28:10] Warren: And I need 20% stimuli 

[02:28:12] Eldar: in that moment based on where you're at. He's saying that there's 

[02:28:14] Warren: different ways of, there's different, and there's no, so for example, can 

[02:28:18] Mike: you call that bound though? 

[02:28:19] Warren: So now 

[02:28:20] Mike: that's the true form of bound. So now 

[02:28:21] Warren: hold on, hold on. Even you, you said you don't wanna go on vacation, you're chilling, you're this No, no, no.

[02:28:25] Warren: I do, but, but what about the guy who's a monk in the Shalin temple? He'll give a fuck about nothing. Exactly. Yeah. Correct. He's like, listen, I don't need to, I have water. 

[02:28:34] Eldar: Yeah. I have, exactly. 

[02:28:35] Warren: I'm good. 

[02:28:36] Eldar: Yeah, he's good. Oh, 

[02:28:38] Warren: I have nature. Mm-hmm. I have grass. I have this moment. I have this moment. Yeah. Yeah. The, oh, I'm just saying things shift, things change.

[02:28:47] Warren: It's, it's never stationary. It's always gonna be free flowing. Yeah. But then it's, and my needs no, may differ from your needs, but the, 

[02:28:55] Mike: but the balance is not a state, is not a fluid thing. 

[02:28:59] Eldar: That's what he's saying though. He's saying that exact thing. Yeah. No, 

[02:29:02] Mike: balance is, is like a, I don't know how to use the right words here, but balance is 

[02:29:07] Toliy: like a No, I think that he, he's saying that like, you may have one thing I balance in balance, for example, but then something else is gonna weigh, weigh down.

[02:29:14] Toliy: But, but like, to me it's like, like Har Harris brought me this Rubik's Cube as an example, right? Mm-hmm. You can get one whole side in green. Mm-hmm. Right. It doesn't mean that all the other sides are, are like, you have to get all of them for, for this to be solved. They all have to be solid colors. Mm-hmm.

[02:29:30] Toliy: On each side, right? Mm-hmm. And maybe you get one, but if you don't get all of them, then that, to me is not the balance. And I think that like, like the way I, the way I hear you say it, at least, like, you almost seem that you, you're almost saying that like it's not possible, like it's not humanly possible.

[02:29:45] Warren: Correct. Now look, that Rubik's Cube is a perfect example when you get all the colors correct? Yeah. 

[02:29:53] Mike: Yeah. 

[02:29:54] Warren: It takes one move to completely make it unbalanced. 

[02:29:58] Mike: Yeah. The thing is, I agree with you're saying, but I think so now 

[02:30:01] Warren: you gotta start over. 

[02:30:01] Mike: No, no, it's not, I don't think, I don't think the way I think about it.

[02:30:05] Warren: Mm-hmm. 

[02:30:06] Mike: And I think life is not like, uh, it's not just like a, it's like a, you know, you're driving on a highway and there's brakes in the, in the, in the lanes. Mm-hmm. It's not the right side. It was one just solid line. Mm-hmm. It's the one in the middle between the two lanes. So while I'm saying that is because when you are on that beach, you gotta balance, right?

[02:30:24] Speaker 9: Mm-hmm. 

[02:30:24] Mike: When you step off the beach, you're back to a different place that's imbalanced and then maybe later you go on balance. There's no wrong answer. Life is moment to moment, right? The more you are able to control the moment of your life, the more you will stay in that balance state. So you think like, Hey, I can only be balanced on the beach.

[02:30:41] Mike: I'm challenging you to say like, actually you could be balanced everywhere. But I'm not saying that you'll be balanced everywhere forever at all times because there's this factor of time, which I'm not sure. If it exists or not. But there's this factor of time where we live moment to moment. Right. 

[02:30:55] Eldar: War, I think.

[02:30:56] Eldar: I think what he's trying to apply, uh, uh, apply to the, the balance thing is an objective truth about moment to moment experiences. Mm-hmm. And I think he might be onto something here that the truth of the matter is it doesn't matter. There's no wrong 

[02:31:09] Warren: answer. 

[02:31:09] Eldar: No, no, no, no. I think there is, 

[02:31:11] Warren: what's the wrong answer?

[02:31:12] Eldar: The wrong answer is where you are judging it based on how you experiencing certain things, what some person needs or whatever he's saying. More so like, look, the truth of the matter is if we took life moment to moment and applied the right medicine to the moment itself, you will be balanced no matter what.

[02:31:32] Eldar: He's not wrong. He's not wrong. Yeah. And I think that's the universal, which is very hard to achieve. 

[02:31:38] Mike: Yeah. Yes, of course. Very hard. I think tie it into Buddhism, which you guys were talking about, Rasta. Yeah. Buddhism, balance and enlightenment. I would say, my guess, I'm not a hundred percent, but Buddhism and Buddhism and balance and enlightenment is the same thing.

[02:31:51] Mike: Once you reach balance, you reach alignment. 

[02:31:53] Eldar: Yes. Yes. 

[02:31:54] Mike: And what that means is that you are always able to stay in a balanced state. Correct. And once you reach a, uh, always able to stay in a balanced state, it doesn't matter. Yeah. You already, uh, you are become enlightened and then nothing exists. Like 

[02:32:04] Eldar: Yeah.

[02:32:04] Mike: These problems or these things. It's like you always in that state. But to achieve that state. To extend that state. It requires a cra, like, not crazy, but it requires 

[02:32:14] Eldar: focus. 

[02:32:14] Mike: Focus. A focus, focus. Yeah. And every single virtuous thing and all these things that we talk about is being 

[02:32:19] Eldar: applied subconsciously onto it.

[02:32:21] Mike: Yes. Yes. You know, when you drive on the highway, you are on automatic autopilot. You're not like, oh, I wanna merge. Right. Okay. What do I do? Do I turn around and look at the car? No. No. You're like, boom. Done. You are not thinking about it, bro. A lot of 

[02:32:34] Eldar: times I drive home. I don't even know how I got there.

[02:32:36] Eldar: Yeah. I don't even know how I got home. Yeah. Did 

[02:32:38] Mike: did you ever see that? It's automatic what he's 

[02:32:40] Eldar: saying. So, so 

[02:32:41] Mike: you achieve proper balance when virtuous life automatically, then you become balanced full time and there's no thinking about it. I agree. 

[02:32:48] Toliy: Did you ever see War? War in the movie? Uh, little Buddha.

[02:32:52] Toliy: No. No. It's a very good movie. We're 

[02:32:55] Eldar: inviting you for a showing. Yeah, yeah. Let's do it. 

[02:32:57] Warren: I'm on Friday, Saturday. Good. 

[02:32:59] Toliy: I like it. Good. Yeah, because, because it talk, it, it displays this. Yes. The, this thing that we're talking about right now. Yeah. Like it actually shows it happening, like the whole process.

[02:33:09] Toliy: That's dope. We could do 

[02:33:09] Warren: like a movie review. Hell yeah. 

[02:33:11] Toliy: Yeah. 

[02:33:11] Warren: Let's do it. 

[02:33:12] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. 

[02:33:12] Mike: Elder has a sick, sick ass. And I think also, um, also in Buddhism, they always talk about this thing about impermanence because they understand we all, our souls are all striving to be imbalance at all times. But we have other things at play, ignorances and attachments, personalities.

[02:33:32] Mike: Personalities that stop us from re uh, and we live in this impermanent state. But once we realize that we are the ones who control it and actually able to change how uh, our lives are moment to moment, then we can extend those balance. Like if you come to terms, for example, with the situation with your daughters, right?

[02:33:54] Mike: That will bring more balance into your life. Peace for a more party a day, a certain piece of your day that when you at work or when you driving like, damn man, these my girls man, I'm worried about them. Won't you stop having those thoughts? You're in balance now. You're driving and you listen to music and you fucking zone the fuck in you.

[02:34:11] Mike: Why? Because before you would drive to work and, and you think about the girls, now you in the fucking moment and you like you on the beach in Bermuda, you in the music. You in the music. And you and you, yeah. In balance. You made the beach right there. You have no problems. You made the beach right there.

[02:34:24] Mike: Yeah. In your 

[02:34:24] Eldar: car. In your car. 

[02:34:24] Toliy: Yeah. I think that like the, the perfect state of balance is when like thinking becomes your, your best friend rather than like your biggest like foe, right? And like if thinking right now causes pain 'cause you think about this, you think about that, this and that, then like, yeah, tho those moments on vacation or on the beach or this and that, they will always feel like the best moments.

[02:34:47] Toliy: 'cause you're not thinking really during, during that time. Right? But I think that like, if you have time to focus on yourself and your own wellbeing, those everyday days will, will, will become that. Like you'll be able to bring that beach with you. Anywhere you grow, you go, 

[02:35:05] Eldar: you know. Holy shit. Did we just talk about a hack?

[02:35:12] Mike: Well, the hack is, I think, has always been there. 

[02:35:14] Eldar: The thing is, it's a crazy thing, right? Where it's like, you know there's a game. Yeah. And there's cheat codes. Yeah. And if you got the cheat codes, you could just apply the CHI codes towards the game. Yeah. There's cheat codes here. You can't apply them towards this game.

[02:35:25] Eldar: No. Yeah. Because you can't cheat ego 

[02:35:27] Toliy: and pride and all that. Yes. Yeah. 

[02:35:29] Eldar: You cannot cheat, you know? The shit, you cannot fake the shit. Mm-hmm. Right. With that being said, I'm gonna leave you with what Catherine really likes to listen to, which brings her maybe some balance, Carol G. Ready 

[02:35:42] Speaker 9: looking 

[02:35:43] Sophia Spallino: the secret.

[02:35:44] Sophia Spallino: You just have to let go, go, let go. Let go of the judgment towards yourself, towards all, but how radically. Except it wasn't okay, but it's all okay now. Now, now in this moment, I choose my healing. In this moment, I choose ending. In this moment, I choose. My beginning.

[02:36:11] Sophia Spallino: In this moment, I choose healing. I let go of what doesn't serve me. I release what hurt me. I'm thankful for experiences that taught me physical illusions. I'm letting go. Pain is not mine to hold. Judgment is not mine to own. Peace is what I know.

[02:36:41] Sophia Spallino: The past does not define me. I am love. I am forgiving. I am overcoming dualities and illusion. There is only oneness, wholeness. My healing.

[02:36:56] Sophia Spallino: My healing is my belief. My healing is my knowing. My healing is accepting. My healing is taking responsibility to let go. To let go right now, to let go. To choose not to hold anymore. Forgiveness is not condoning. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Controlling my present moment now so I can be here now.

[02:37:21] Sophia Spallino: My present is a gift this moment and I miss no more dwelling on what doesn't serve me. This freedom now. 

[02:37:33] Eldar: Alright guys. Thank you so much. This was great. Um, to finish this off, 

[02:37:40] Toliy: why is Harris holding Mike's hand during that? What the fuck, man? I saw you reaching for a, are you 

[02:37:45] Katherine: serious? I saw you reaching for a, you wanna mention name and the artist for whoever might wanna look that up 

[02:37:52] Eldar: or whoever wants to look that up.

[02:37:53] Eldar: If you don't have an Android and a Google Pixel, you can't, you can't do it. You can't do it then fuck off. You know what I mean? No, no, that's right. Sorry babe. We're not gonna plug them because we're not paid sponsors. They're not paid sponsor. But no, it's called, uh, my Healing by Sophia Paulino. I think it's a very nice song.

[02:38:10] Eldar: Mm-hmm. And, um, maybe it has something to say. I hear it every morning and Catherine listens to it all the time and stuff. And during yoga. During yoga and Yes. Trying to balance ourselves in morning and I think that, yeah. Morning, my morning 

[02:38:22] Warren: drives. Yes. Is this you guys first convo about balance? 

[02:38:25] Eldar: No, no, no.

[02:38:27] Eldar: We always talk about balance in the conversation. Balance is huge. 

[02:38:30] Warren: It is. 

[02:38:31] Eldar: It is huge. But I like the way that we zeroed in on it today. It's awesome. Is this the first 

[02:38:35] Warren: time you zeroed in on it 

[02:38:36] Eldar: like that? Zeroed in on it, for sure. Yeah. But 

[02:38:38] Toliy: we talk about it on different things every single day. 'cause every, every single thing is this.

[02:38:43] Toliy: We're proving, you know, imbalance and then we're showing the pain and then we're talking about it. Yeah. Try to figure out. So war, thank you so 

[02:38:50] Eldar: much for coming in. It was a good 

[02:38:51] Warren: surprise, right? 

[02:38:52] Eldar: It's crazy good. A 

[02:38:53] Warren: big surprise. Are you kidding me? I think my accomplice Mike once again. Yes. 

[02:38:56] Eldar: Yes. Mike. We appreciate the fact that you set this up.

[02:39:00] Eldar: Yeah. And when war came in here, I had the biggest smile on my face as always, you know? Yeah. Tony 

[02:39:04] Mike: was very upset with me. 

[02:39:05] Eldar: Why? 

[02:39:06] Mike: For the lunch thing, because he kept prying. He's like, yo, where are we going for lunch? What's the plan? Like, what are we doing? Yeah, yo. He's like, if I guess it will you tell me? I'm like, yeah, sure.

[02:39:14] Mike: He was bothering me all morning. 'cause we were having breakfast together. Yeah. And then after we came to the office, he kept bothering me. After, like, you know, and then when I told him the news like, yo, actually, I'm sorry. Lunch is canceled. You got even more pissed. Yeah. But when he realized how Oh, the surprise was worn.

[02:39:28] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:39:28] Mike: I think everything, you know, he said we were having G Lizzies with a big red. Oh my 

[02:39:33] Eldar: God. So yeah. This, this, this was great. That's awesome. Yet again, another great podcast guys. Yeah. You know, uh, another one for 

[02:39:42] Warren: the books. Another first, my first hopefully comes 

[02:39:45] Eldar: for sure. A hundred percent. We loved it.

[02:39:47] Eldar: Thank you guys. Thank 

[02:39:48] Warren: you. And I'm out.