173. The Art of Communication and Personal Growth: Harris' Journey to Get His Life in Order

If you want to change your form of communication, where do you start? 

In this engaging episode, hosts Harris, Eldar, Mike, and Toliy dive deep into the complexities of communication, personal growth, and breaking subconscious habits. The discussion kicks off with Harris reflecting on a heated disagreement with his colleague Tom over vaping in the workplace, sparking a broader conversation about emotional triggers, self-awareness, and the challenges of changing ingrained behaviors. The team explores how childhood experiences shape automatic responses and the importance of conscious effort to rewire those patterns. They also introduce the "Get Your Life in Order Plan" (GYLIOP), a wraparound service aimed at helping Harris improve his physical health, sleep, diet, and quit vaping, with each host taking on a coaching role. Special guest Joe joins remotely to offer insights and agree to oversee the plan as a mediator. Packed with humor, raw honesty, and practical advice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to understand the power of communication and the journey to personal transformation.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Self-Reflection
• 6:12 Understanding Triggers and Reactions
• 18:52 Childhood Influences on Behavior
• 26:01 Strategies for Better Communication
• 40:34 Understanding Sensitivity to Insults
• 47:12 Consistency of Character
• 56:43 The Plan for Change
• 1:19:18 Balancing Work and Relaxation
• 1:25:01 The Importance of Sharing
• 1:36:57 Accountability and Support
• 1:43:05 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

Transcript

[00:00:00] Dennis: On this week's episode, 

[00:00:01] this here's my m and m moment. I'm a dumbass. Yes. All right. A piece of shit. Okay. Selfish piece of 

[00:00:08] Eldar: shit. Okay. Okay. See, I think m and m believed it. Yeah. Yeah. And he understood it. I think that I have a better perception of your life than you do. You don't think in my life is a lot of times miserable.

[00:00:18] That's why my question is, why are you so hell bent on trying to defend illusions 

[00:00:25] Mike: and the journey that Harris is specifically on? I think the most important thing is realizing that every thought is actually very important. Wow. The more you share, the further you get.

[00:00:43] Eldar: Harris. Hello? Ding ding, ding. What is it? Paging Dr. Harris. Yo. Yo, yo. 

[00:00:52] Harris: Um, 

[00:00:53] it's great to be back, man, since you had 

[00:00:56] Eldar: an incident today. Incident. A communication incident. A communication error. A communication error. Right. It's only right that we allow you to introduce the topic because you decided that you want to practice your communication skills.

[00:01:10] Toliy: But before we proceed, I would like just one brief spelling of the word communication. Okay. 

[00:01:16] Harris: Uh, I'd like you to kiss my ass. 

[00:01:18] Toliy: I like that. We'll take that. Come on 

[00:01:20] Harris: one. 

[00:01:20] Mike: One try. Alright. How about 10 on it?

[00:01:27] Harris: I'm gonna 

[00:01:28] Mike: pass, man. 

[00:01:28] Harris: Okay. Are you serious? I'm not in the mood for a spelling bee, man. It's been a long day. Just try it one little time. Little stressful. Yes, you know, 

[00:01:35] Toliy: but, but just try it. If you fail, you fail. It's no big deal. Uh, how about you kiss my s 

[00:01:39] Mike: what's the first letter? Okay. Yes, it's C. Alright, the second 

[00:01:42] Toliy: one.

[00:01:44] Harris: Oh, wait, the third one. What's after that? Come on. Second. Yeah. What the fuck? You're on a roll here, dude. You're on 

[00:01:49] Toliy: a roll. You're in your way, man. COW. 

[00:01:54] Eldar: No. Why don't you say, why don't you say it slowly? The first three, three letters. It's COM. What does that make? Calm? What? Are you 

[00:02:03] Harris: serious? Are you serious? Dude, I can't say Jared.

[00:02:08] What the fuck? Man? What the hell you communication, bro. Come. Communication. Communication. So how do you spell it? You, you're right there. C-O-M-C-U-M. He said 

[00:02:18] C, CUM. I said COM. Sick. Fuck. Alright, so COM. Okay, well fuck you guys, man. I'm not doing it right now. You're, you're already there. He's saying that's a, that's a sound dude.

[00:02:28] Come on, let's 

[00:02:29] Eldar: get this topic started. Alright, let's get this topic started. Harris, you had some problems with communication today, obviously. Mm-hmm. It landed, it landed you in the hot water. Mm-hmm. Sorry, Joe. Your protege is, um. Gbe is in Gbe right now. Uh, but nonetheless, right. He's trying. I missed what happened actually.

[00:02:48] Like I showed up after. Oh, you were here. I I thought you did. Jared, were you here? 

[00:02:51] Toliy: No, no. I saw it was something with him and Tom, but I didn't see or hear what happened. 

[00:02:55] Eldar: Yeah. Him and Tom got into their usual little 

[00:02:58] Harris: scuffle about I wasn't, 

[00:03:00] it was a disagreement. Well, okay. Let's call it disagreement, verbal disagreement.

[00:03:05] Why don't you go ahead and 

[00:03:06] Eldar: what, what did you extract from it and what should the topic be for today's podcast? 

[00:03:10] Harris: Uh, Tom has very, should I explain what happened? 

[00:03:14] You can if you want. Okay. Briefly. Tom has be nice though. Yeah. Be nice. Uh, a very strong attachment to smoking. And anybody that smokes, you know, Tom loves smoking, is 

[00:03:28] Mike: what you're saying?

[00:03:28] Harris: No. Uh, Tom dislikes smoking. 

[00:03:31] Mike: Okay. Tom has a very strong attachment to anti-smoker. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Better communication. Better communication. All right. Thanks, Aris. 

[00:03:37] Harris: Uh, yeah. So he doesn't like that I smoke. Uh, and, uh, he went on a whole rant. Mm-hmm. Anyway, uh, uh, calling me inconsiderate, all this other stuff.

[00:03:52] And because why Inconsiderate explain. Give it a little bit of context, 

[00:03:56] Eldar: people. Yes. Harris, you sit next to him. Yeah. I 

[00:03:59] Harris: sit next to him in an sometimes 

[00:04:01] Eldar: Huh. In an office environment. Yeah. 

[00:04:04] Toliy: And occasionally I hit my vape. Mm-hmm. Why? Why do you use the word like, I hit my vape? 

[00:04:10] Eldar: All the time. Yeah. All the time.

[00:04:11] Again, you see, yeah. With proper communication comes, you know, you have to be also honest, honestly, I think comes with proper communication. Okay. 

[00:04:17] Harris: I hit my vape all the time. 

[00:04:19] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:04:20] Mike: How many times did he suck on, on a day? Thousands. Thousands. Wow. Okay. 

[00:04:26] Harris: Okay. Yeah. So he doesn't like the fat, he doesn't like the smell, he doesn't like all this shit.

[00:04:32] Uh, which it's mint, so I don't know what's going on here, but, okay. Mm-hmm. 

[00:04:36] Eldar: Uh, you, you, you felt like the need to, uh, put that in there, right? Yes. Correct. That it's mint. Okay. Mint is a, who doesn't 

[00:04:42] Mike: like mint, right? Yeah. 

[00:04:43] Eldar: I, 

[00:04:43] Mike: I'll raise my hand. I like mint. Who doesn't like 

[00:04:45] Eldar: mint? 

[00:04:46] Mike: Uh oh. 

[00:04:48] Harris: But anyway. All right. Yeah.

[00:04:51] Uh, we had a disagreement about that. He, you know, and, you know, he started hollering. He wasn't in a good mood when he walked in. He's been, uh, asking me to quit for some time, trying to mm-hmm. Tell me to quit and all this other stuff. Okay. And he didn't know what we've been planning and all this other stuff.

[00:05:11] Mm-hmm. So he made assumptions that I don't wanna quit, you know, and all this other shit. Okay. And, uh, I blew out of proportion. 

[00:05:19] Eldar: Okay. What did you do in this case? Like you, I, I 

[00:05:22] Harris: started off trying to be respectful. Nice. Like you said, but, uh, I ended up getting irritated and. Matching his tone. 

[00:05:30] Eldar: Matching his tone.

[00:05:31] Yeah. By using revenge tactics. Right? Bringing certain stuff about him. Yeah. Hell yeah. Right By, by even hitting the vape on purpose again. Hell yeah. Once, yeah. Once, yeah. You know, you did some revengeful stuff. Oh yeah, I did. I had 

[00:05:44] Harris: a revenge story. Yeah. 

[00:05:45] Eldar: Okay. And okay, so what did you learn from the whole 

[00:05:48] Mike: thing?

[00:05:48] That I went around it the wrong way. Okay. And what would you like the topic to be? 

[00:05:54] Eldar: Uh, 

[00:05:55] Harris: identify certain things. 

[00:05:57] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:59] Harris: Uh, to change it. 

[00:06:01] Eldar: To change it. Why? 

[00:06:04] Harris: What do you mean? 

[00:06:05] Eldar: Why, why do you wanna change it? It's not 

[00:06:08] Harris: suitable for anybody. 

[00:06:09] Eldar: It's not suitable for anybody. Okay. And then when we were driving Right, the question at hand that was, um, what's everyone's, I guess, threshold to pain, right?

[00:06:20] How much pain do they need? They need in order to then become more 

[00:06:23] Harris: Oh, that was wasn't a question. Okay. 

[00:06:25] Eldar: Self-aware. Well, we talk about 

[00:06:27] Toliy: self aware everything. Self aware. Why is not suitable for anybody?

[00:06:33] Harris: What do you mean? I love, I love when you do this Well, like for me, it raises my blood pressure, which is not a good thing. 

[00:06:38] Toliy: Why not? 

[00:06:41] Harris: It 

[00:06:41] Eldar: doesn't 

[00:06:41] Harris: feel good. No. 

[00:06:42] Toliy: Yeah. But like, he's been doing it for a long time. Oh my God. And if you don't, if you're not saying anything in that moment, or people are not, like, most people would just view it as I like.

[00:06:51] Hey. Like, they're, they're just like, you know, fighting. Yeah. Like whatever. Just regular shit. Yeah. You know, just couple of bros going at it for a little bit. What's wrong with that? 

[00:06:59] Eldar: Yeah. But I think that in an environment that we are in, at least, that we're constantly trying to raise awareness about what's right, what's wrong.

[00:07:04] Right. What feels good, what doesn't. Right. Uh, naturally we bring awareness to certain things that, um, come up like that, you know, so people with, you know, who have awareness of this stuff, of their own pain or whatever, or their own, uh, I guess behaviors, right? They wanna do something about it. They wanna change, they want to be happier, right?

[00:07:27] They wanna have less pain. Right. So I think that's why Okay. Which is, which is not a bad thing, I think. Right? Yeah. You know, I think that yeah. In the regular world, maybe a lot of times people would just kind of flare up their, their hands and get upset or whatever, angry, and then kind of go about their day, maybe not reflecting at it at all.

[00:07:45] Right. Um, like I said, in this environment, at least we try to bring awareness to these things. 

[00:07:51] Harris: So what do you want? Well, we need to, I need to identify, uh, ways to kind of, I don't wanna say ignore. 

[00:07:59] Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:00] But, uh, why not? What, why don't you want to ignore? Because that's like a stupid petty thing to just 

[00:08:08] Speaker 8: uhhuh 

[00:08:09] Harris: ignore.

[00:08:10] Speaker 8: Okay. 

[00:08:11] Harris: You know, uh, I don't know. Identify ways to change it. Explain why I do certain things like we talked about. Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:20] Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:21] Uh, which leads it back to again, communication. 

[00:08:23] Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:24] Uh, which I'm terrible at.

[00:08:29] Mike: Well, yeah. I think there's like, uh, two sides to that. Yeah. 

[00:08:31] Eldar: I think there is two sides to that. I think that, um, to some degree you are pretty good communicator. Mm-hmm. Uh, there's certain things that you communicate really well. Mm-hmm. Okay. Like, for example, your rebuttals, your excuses. Right. Would you say that?

[00:08:43] Sure. Thank you. Thank you. 

[00:08:45] Harris: Thank, 

[00:08:45] thank you. That's not how I look, 

[00:08:47] Eldar: man. No, no. That's a pretty good depiction. I take it. That's admissible and we're gonna take it. I wish I had a picture of that, but yeah. I think that when it comes to communication, I think people communicate their feelings pretty well, generally speaking.

[00:09:00] Right, right. Yeah. Um, especially you when it comes to rebuttals, excuses and stuff like that, you are very good. You, you know, you, you know, the thing is, it's 

[00:09:11] Mike: not, it's not like a thing of poor communication. The communication is in the backend is not desirable, but the communication is actually excellent.

[00:09:19] Mm-hmm. Because it's representation of who you actually are. Yes. At the moment. Yeah. In the moment. But I think that probably most people mm-hmm. Afterwards have some kind of sense the question, do most people stop and pause and think about it? Yeah. Are they happy about it? Yeah. What transpired. That I'm not too sure about the reflection part, part.

[00:09:39] No, but I didn't 

[00:09:39] Toliy: feel like that part is even like, like a slim, like a very slim chance that happened. Oh, that's what I said. I'm not too sure about like Yeah. Like, like, yeah. But I think 

[00:09:48] Mike: people do feel it. Like they just don't think about it. They don't stop for long enough to really observe it. 

[00:09:52] Eldar: Listen, we have the subject right here.

[00:09:54] We can ask him right now. Yeah. Paris. During that whole exchange. Mm-hmm. Right. Where, where I was trying to break through to you and Mike was trying to break through to Tom. Right. To kind of diffuse it or help you raise awareness about it. Right. Give us some feedback or give us some, like what, what would you reflect on?

[00:10:12] Yeah. Like, because totally says that's a farfetched thing. Like where, like what Mike is saying, that, you know, 

[00:10:18] Toliy: after, if you, if you apply fire to a tea kettle mm-hmm. With water, it's gonna start to boil. Okay. And that's an uncontrollable feeling. 

[00:10:28] Mike: Why is he speaking louder? You done man? Why is he doing riddles again?

[00:10:31] Yeah. 

[00:10:32] Harris: Done. Okay, go ahead. All right. So what was going on in the situation? I was trying to listen to what you were saying. Yeah. But I had a guy that was like a louder voice. 

[00:10:43] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:10:44] Harris: Right next to me. Okay. And I could not focus on what you were saying. 

[00:10:47] Eldar: Okay. There you 

[00:10:47] Harris: go. 

[00:10:48] Eldar: Stop right there. Why is that guy has a louder voice than I do?

[00:10:53] And just sounded louder to me like he was screaming. I get it. He wasn't screaming, but he was just, I think saying very specific things that triggered very specific things in you. Mm-hmm. Right. And therefore you were very concentrated on what he was saying versus what I was trying to say. Mm-hmm. Why does that happen?

[00:11:13] Mike: I don't know. It hits a nerve. I don't know what nerve, 

[00:11:16] Eldar: A nerve uhhuh what some of the stuff that he's saying is it's because he's saying what's, it's true. It's not true. I don't know in a moment. Just it's hitting some kind of a nerve. Yeah. Okay. You don't know how to control yourself, so therefore you get into a fight.

[00:11:33] You mean control myself? Well, you think you, you wanted to control, what the hell, I tried to start it 

[00:11:38] Harris: off as under control. Okay. 

[00:11:40] Eldar: And you quickly failed and you resorted to what you do best. Yeah. 

[00:11:43] Mike: Was there like, um, some back and forth between like the guy on your, that was yelling versus what other was saying?

[00:11:49] Or, or the guy there was no chance at other, anything other was saying was like coming through? I don't know 

[00:11:57] Eldar: man. I don't know how to answer that. I, I was trying my best. Yeah, I know. Yeah. You know what I mean? Obviously I could have like, you know, got up and probably shook you or something, you know, a little bit.

[00:12:05] But I tried, I was staring right at you, bro. You were staring right at me. You didn't hear a word I was saying. 

[00:12:11] Toliy: You should have given a purple nurple. A purple nurple. 

[00:12:14] Eldar: What is wrong with you, bro? Yeah. Um, again, it's an interesting moment, right? Where an individual. Tom, right by the name Tom was able to control you, control your mind, and everything that you were gonna respond with.

[00:12:29] And to me and to Mike, who were observing the situation very carefully and to Totally too, we came later, right. And Tara as well. It was pretty obvious where it's going. Even Tara said, Hey, like, I, I know what this is gonna happen. Like you guys about to have this black moment, right? She's, she's called a dark, dark moment.

[00:12:43] Yeah. I didn't hear what said whatever. She, she said this before it happened. Mm-hmm. She was like, oh, I know where this is going. Because she heard his tone. She heard his tone. Mm-hmm. And, and I'm like, all right, let, well, let's see. Mm-hmm. You know, and it transpired the way it did. Right. So everyone is observing the moment except the individual that actually in the moment you have no clue what's going on.

[00:13:03] You have no patrol. It's 

[00:13:04] Toliy: the opposite. The, the only person in the moment is that individual. Like he's in a, like a bubble in that moment. 

[00:13:12] Eldar: In the moment. 

[00:13:13] Toliy: Yeah. You know? Well, that's 

[00:13:14] Eldar: only his moment. 

[00:13:15] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:13:16] Eldar: But there's a other general moment that was happening as well. 

[00:13:18] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:13:19] Eldar: That he was not willing to participate in or, or pay attention to it.

[00:13:21] No. 

[00:13:22] Toliy: That, that would require like an, like a almost an out of body experience. 

[00:13:29] Harris: What he's talking about me going back into coma again, man, 

[00:13:32] Eldar: I 

[00:13:32] Harris: like that. 

[00:13:33] Eldar: I 

[00:13:33] Harris: expand 

[00:13:34] Toliy: on that. Totally. I 

[00:13:35] Eldar: would like to know what, what do you mean by that? 

[00:13:36] Toliy: Yeah, well, like when that stuff happens, it's, it's the, like the true conscious reaction of the, uh, um, of the person.

[00:13:47] Like, I mean, I mean, I mean, sorry. The true unconscious reaction of the act of, of the person. Um, like show like on, on, on display, you know? Yeah. It's raw. Yeah. And, um, to act the right way, like that wouldn't make sense for like, like yeah. Like everything that happened makes perfect sense and like, to be observant of the moment and understand what's happening is like a next level 

[00:14:19] Mike: difficult boss.

[00:14:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:25] That's why I said right now you're, 

[00:14:26] Toliy: you're like a tea kettle. You throw and you throw a little fire on it, you're gonna start to boil. 

[00:14:32] Harris: You say you throw a little water in the mat 

[00:14:35] Toliy: and, and you gotta put the pond of fire. He's 

[00:14:40] Harris: changing 

[00:14:40] Mike: his 

[00:14:40] Harris: whole, uh, 

[00:14:42] Mike: oh. He is Jamaican. That's all saying. Okay. Yeah. So Harris, you were in the moment and you couldn't hear anything else.

[00:14:51] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:14:52] Mike: Yeah. Like, 

[00:14:53] Toliy: yeah, he, he resorted to like, who, who 

[00:14:55] Mike: he is at the core a hundred percent. But in retrospect, after, you know, the conversation, I'm not sure if he's happy with that. 

[00:15:04] Harris: That's part, that's part of the reason why it's, uh, part of the big plan. 

[00:15:08] Toliy: But the question is that like, beautiful, does that, that unhappiness is mainly like, started from like someone else pointing something out, right?

[00:15:15] Mike: Yeah. Yes. And uh, the thing is, this kind of violations happened 20, 30 years ago for most people, and they've learned how to just put on autopilot and not put too much attention to it. But in the beginning when it happened, oh, oops.

[00:15:32] In the beginning when this happened, it wasn't, um, there wasn't this automatic response.

[00:15:42] Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? In the beginning Yes. When the, when the first and first developed this system of communication mm-hmm. It was a different experience, but after 20 years of doing the same thing, but how do you know that there was a different experience? Mm. What do you mean? Well, how do I know?

[00:16:00] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:16:02] Mike: Well, you can't just drive a hundred miles an hour. You have to start somewhere. Well, it's not a hundred miles an hour. Well, he was going a hundred miles an hour. 

[00:16:09] Toliy: Yeah. But like, if you're a young kid and you grow up in a household where people communicate a particular way, like mm-hmm. Your first learnings of how things work is, is through, through this.

[00:16:19] So I think that like, once you get a little bit older mm-hmm. All, all that is lodged in you as to like what, what, what's normal? Yeah. Um, um, and then like you, like you just operate off of that. So like a lot of our learnings and a lot of our habits come from. The subconscious learning that we've had in our household and, [00:16:40] you know, with our family and how they operate.

[00:16:42] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:43] Toliy: Which is why I think that like, you know, we, we'll, like, we're, we're bound to start our life operating in a very similar way to how they operate. 

[00:16:51] Mike: Yeah. But your parents don't always, or parents don't always, uh, operate in that tone. 

[00:16:57] Toliy: Well, they're operating like in that tone, but they have a particular way about going about things and like Sure.

[00:17:03] Like working through things. Yeah. So I, I feel like, like the big moments where stuff like this happen, that's probably the stuff that, that's like remembered the most. And then like even the stuff that, that's like not a big deal or like, kind of okay or good. Mm-hmm. Um, then, um, um, I think it's still a similar type of communication.

[00:17:27] Like, like, like I think that those parents are just like nasty to each other and nasty to people around them. And then you grow up in a household where this communication is nor is normal and this is all that, you know. Yeah. Maybe, maybe. I'm not sure. I, 

[00:17:42] Mike: I, I couldn't, I couldn't prove it, you know, um, one way or the other.

[00:17:47] But my hunch is that it only got worse as the years progressed. Well, but he didn't start out. I don't think every, I don't think people just generally start out, unless we're talking about in a crazy environment where all people do is yell at each other, that would mean, like, his parents never said anything nice to each other.

[00:18:03] He never witnessed any happiness when he was young. He was never, well, no. He like a happy kid. He, he could witness that he never communicate. 

[00:18:09] Toliy: Yeah. He, he could witness that. But I think that like what's lodged in your memory like this are those types of, um, those types of moments, especially when you're a kid and you're really like attentive in that kind of way.

[00:18:21] Mm-hmm. Especially when you're exposed to like loud sounds. Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:24] Speaker 8: Like, 

[00:18:25] Toliy: I feel like, I think like that's what you learn. But, but then also like for a long time in your life you're like, like when you're a kid, you're not in any kind of a situation to, um, like where like you need to make any of these kind of decisions or have these kinds of reactions because like, you're not put in positions to like deal with these kind of situations.

[00:18:45] So I think that like when, when you are, you are operating from those, those learnings and those observations. 

[00:18:51] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:52] Eldar: Um, so you're saying that, uh, in that moment he's just tapping into what has been learned has been lodged in his subconscious already, so he's just kind of operating out of automatic response?

[00:19:01] Well, 

[00:19:02] Toliy: YY yes. So yes, for sure that, that, that's ex, like, that operation, that unconscious operation is, is exactly who he is at the core right now. Well, that's very interesting. But, but I, but me and Mike were talking about like. Um, my Mike was saying is that like, he picked that up at some point and then he was doing this where I, I, I, and I, I was saying where I think that like this type of behavior was from the very beginning because like all the things that we do is what we've, as a child, like our brain is like a sponge, and we listen to all the arguments our parents have, everything they say, how everybody talks to each other.

[00:19:34] All that is like crazy observed, I think. And then like that what, what's like, like some people find crazy to that family how they communicate, how they operate to, to those people's completely normal behaviors. Mm-hmm. And from the get go, once you're put, once you're old enough to be put in those situations where like this happens, that fight or flight instinct is automatically, um, like a feature that you have as a person based on what you've been hearing for years in your family.

[00:20:05] Eldar: It is interesting to me that you say though, that that's exactly who the person is. So you define the person's makeup as, uh, that which is lodging their subconscious. And if they operate out of that, in those moments, this is who they are. 

[00:20:19] Toliy: Everyone, even like the, I don't know, worst criminals or whoever.

[00:20:23] Right. I, I think if you can summon somebody in the, in like a moment of reasoning, we all have a very high level of ability to be like, yep, that was wrong. Yep. The, this was right, right. Like mm-hmm. That was inappropriate. This was appropriate. Right? Like, we all have that, but someone, but 

[00:20:37] Eldar: someone is defined, I guess it's from their habitual 

[00:20:41] Toliy: or instinctual.

[00:20:42] Um. Act. Well, I think, yeah, I think the most suffering is cause the unconscious behaviors that a person displays lead to the most amount of conscious suffering for that person. Because a conscious person will never act in that kind of way at that time. Only an unconscious animal like will at that time.

[00:21:02] So, but I think part, part of raise raising awareness of it is that when we're conscious we can do particular things to change those habits, but they become difficult because I think that like, um, probably like every year as a kid is probably like, I don't know, five years as like an adult or, or, or more may be be because of like how much your brain like Wow, that's interesting.

[00:21:25] Sponges, right? Yeah, I get it. Yeah, because the older that you get, you're more like ignorant than like not willing to learn shit. Mm-hmm. When you're a kid, you're just like a crazy wire to learn shit automatically. Okay. And you can't turn that off. 

[00:21:36] Harris: Okay. 

[00:21:36] Toliy: So as an adult it's way harder to un things. So you're saying my 

[00:21:39] Harris: childhood is the reason behind this, I guess?

[00:21:42] Eldar: Well, no, he's saying that you are acting pretty much as a child, which you are. Mm-hmm. Right? Uh, and he is too, and Tom is too in that moment, right, where two people are completely like, you know, seeing red and just gonna go all the way. 'cause they're throwing a fit at that moment. 

[00:21:56] Harris: Yeah. But he said it was my what?

[00:21:58] Eldar: But it's your child, the upbringing. Upbringing, right? Mm-hmm. Where you dealt with conflict the way, I mean, maybe your parents dealt with conflict certain type of way. Maybe your dad used to deal with it ended in divorce. 

[00:22:07] Harris: It ended in divorce second when I was in second grade. Exactly. Yeah. There was a abuse when I stop arguing, mom, pick us up relative to the car drive for a couple hours.

[00:22:13] Right? So 

[00:22:14] Eldar: you've Right, you've modeled this behavior from whoever you've observed in those moments, right? Those heated moments. Oh, yeah. And then it turned into Mindy John's 

[00:22:21] Harris: relationship. 

[00:22:22] Eldar: Exactly. 

[00:22:22] Toliy: Yeah. Al also very young kids. Yeah. Like, uh, I, I, I heard this, at least when they hear like people arguing, they don't even know what it's about.

[00:22:30] They, they start to cry, right? Yeah. Because like all these loud sounds are everything. It's too much happening. The energies, right? Yeah. So like all these loud sounds are forever or like, not, not forever, but they're, but ingrained, lodged in that person's like subconscious. Yeah. And they, they automatically operate from those kinds of things.

[00:22:47] Like when someone raised their voice automatically get crazy defensive, right? Yeah. Or they have to go into this like fight or flight mode, for example. Yeah. And 

[00:22:54] Eldar: that's the thing, what's happened to you in that moment, right? Where like certain triggers were hitting you, right? And you went back to the subconscious self, like totally saying in order to respond in accordance to what you were hearing.

[00:23:06] Because the stuff that I was telling you, right? What was I telling you? I was telling you, Hey, offer him some coffee. I did do that. No, after like 800 times I've told you that. And it didn't work because you didn't do it properly. Um, how did it say other stuff? You needed to let it out where you, you didn't make it, didn't make sense to you.

[00:23:24] Like, wait, how am I offering him coffee? Like, how am I gonna be nice to him? Right. Well, we talked about that. You know, a person like Tom, for example, in that moment, you'll have to kill, kill them with kindness. Right? Um, and I was just trying to set an example. I was trying to tell you to make light of the situation, but you chose otherwise because your subconscious responses are a lot more lodged or burn into your brain, right?

[00:23:49] Uh, in order to do that. Now, the question is to you again, at the end of the day, if you want to change your form of communication, where do you start? How do you go about finally raising enough awareness to yourself to say like, I don't need this anymore. I don't want to behave this way. I don't want to perceive the world in such a matter, you know?

[00:24:05] Toliy: Yeah. It's almost like the, uh, the, uh, the metaphor there. It's almost like, like fielding an objection via email versus on like a cold call. Yeah. Cold calls you, you're automatic. Like you're already, like, you get a objection. You either have to know what to say. Yeah. Or you operate into like, what, what, you know, you can't like start the learning process there.

[00:24:25] Yeah. Where an email, you can read it, look it up. Take your time, take your time. Do that. It's, it's completely different. 

[00:24:32] Eldar: Would you like to, going forward, would you like to communicate with Tom only via email? 

[00:24:35] Toliy: Fuck you, man. I mean, I'm 

[00:24:36] Eldar: sorry. 

[00:24:38] Toliy: No. Um. You see that, right? Imagine if that was going on via text. Tom said this and he'd be like, you too.

[00:24:43] See you Jerry. Uh, like if, if Tom said that and then, and then Harris shows you his phone. He is like, here, how do we do this? Yeah. Like this would with without the tone. Without the yelling. Yeah. Without the in person right away. Having to think right away of what to say next or do next. It would've gone completely different.

[00:24:59] Right? A hundred percent. Yeah. 100%. So like that, that vary of the like the, the automatic replies. You know what he said, you should go to jail and be locked up. He said 

[00:25:08] Eldar: That's 

[00:25:08] Harris: not 

[00:25:08] Eldar: what he said, man. That's what he said. He said, you don't know how to communicate live with people, so you should just be in jail and write letters.

[00:25:18] Oh, fuck you man. Right. There's plenty of buffer on, right. That's like a week, right? Yeah. So you write the letter, deliver it, receive something back. Takes like two weeks to be able to think, because I think they got 

[00:25:28] Mike: email now in jail. 

[00:25:29] Eldar: They have email too. Limited. 

[00:25:30] Mike: Limited. 

[00:25:31] Eldar: Uh, yeah. You can't use it all day.

[00:25:32] Twist it all the way around. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:25:35] Harris: They've tablet stay supposedly. 

[00:25:37] Eldar: Do you see, do you hear what he's saying? He's giving you the answer said, look, if you were to communicate the same way with, I'm not gonna communicate via email. Oh, no, I get it. You're not gonna communicate. But do you see the benefits of being able to communicate via email where there's a delay?

[00:25:48] Yeah. Absolutely. For you to think 

[00:25:50] Harris: it's Of course it's something I want to change. Yeah. That's why I put it on the list. Yeah, you did put it on the list. It's not doing anything for me. That's right. I 

[00:25:58] Eldar: agree. It's causing anything more stress. Okay. So in Tom's case, right, I gave you some, some examples of how you can raise enough awareness for yourself to not be able to communicate with him this way.

[00:26:08] What did you take back, at least one example that I gave you in order not to be re that responsive to Tom or that impulsive? 

[00:26:17] Harris: Well, one of the things was you said, uh, I should sit down with him 

[00:26:21] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:26:21] Harris: And have a conversation with him. Okay. And explain, you know, your struggles with the vape. My, my struggles with the vape.

[00:26:27] Correct. Uh, which all of you know totally already says, you know, when we're having a conversation, he sees me getting nervous. What do you say? Hit the vape. Go ahead and hit that. Please Go ahead and hit the vape. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Uh, y'all know this, we know this, right? We know this. Yeah. Tom doesn't, Tom doesn't, Tom just started coming around so he doesn't fully understand Correct.

[00:26:49] What's behind that. Correct. Therefore, he doesn't see the picture. I get nervous, anxiety, stress. 

[00:26:55] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:26:56] Harris: My first go-to is vape. 

[00:26:58] Eldar: Correct? Correct. Another thing I told you about, the attachment that Tom has towards it, right? He was a, a smoker. Yeah. So he used to be a smoker, right? And he likes to educate everyone on the benefits of not smoking and all this other stuff, right?

[00:27:10] He put a very dark cloud over smoking for whatever. He has his own reasons, right? As to he did, why he did that. You know? So I think that when we start to get to know each other and really find out the reasons behind you smoking and him not smoking, you guys can find, potentially find the middle ground between the two where you are.

[00:27:26] Mindful of each other's, uh, attachments, right. But also cordial and respectful towards each other's wishes. Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? Where he is like, okay, Harris, I get it that you can't quit right now, right? I'm Tommy right now, right? Mm-hmm. But you know, if you can do your best to not smoke around me, I don't appreciate that.

[00:27:44] Hey, Tom, you know, it's hard for me to smoke. Uh, I have to, I can't quit right now, but I'm gonna have to keep smoking. But, you know, I understand that you also have this negative effects, or you know, this thing about smoking. So I'll smoke outside of the room, for example. Mm-hmm. Just an example. Mm-hmm. Where two people can get the same page or be on the same page, and then this thing doesn't happen.

[00:28:03] Mm-hmm. 

[00:28:03] Speaker 8: You 

[00:28:04] Eldar: know what I mean? Mm-hmm. But in order to do that, you have to slow down a little bit, like to said and things, things through before you communicate incorrectly. Mm-hmm. How do we buy that time without needing to send an email to Tom every time you communicate? 

[00:28:19] Mike: How do we do that? By raising awareness.

[00:28:21] Eldar: Mm-hmm.

[00:28:25] Mike: So, 

[00:28:25] Eldar: okay. You see that, right? Yeah. You raise awareness to tell him about your problems. He raises awareness about his problems, and you find the middle way. Find the middle ground. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Without needing to rebuttal like you rebuttal 800 times today. And in hope to do what? To recondition the subconscious that you've had for a very long time on how to communicate with your mom, with your dad, with your brothers, where things didn't go anywhere.

[00:28:54] Right. Got into a fight. You guys stopped talking to each other. You held a grudge, you held some kind of guilty feelings, and then you finally reflected time passed. And like you, you went back at it again. Right? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And today, right after that, me and Mike also displayed to you a form of communication where we were completely fabricating a story.

[00:29:15] Harris: I, I, I had a feeling you were, we did 

[00:29:17] Eldar: have a feeling. Right. But nonetheless, you went through certain emotions. Yeah. Right. That we, we wanted to use your emotions or your feelings in order to have a laugh Right. At your expense and it worked. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? We're not taking it seriously. We're just fucking around.

[00:29:29] But you are like, your heart's palpitating. You're like, oh, what the fuck? What the fuck? You know what I mean? Y'all gotta make sound. Yeah. The story was that 

[00:29:38] Harris: mean he wasn't there? You, yeah. He missed out. Next time you join 

[00:29:42] Eldar: us for fo You know what I'm saying? Yeah. What I'm saying. It'd be nice, man. I am, he wants to have a laugh.

[00:29:46] Yeah. Why are you, why are you 

[00:29:48] Harris: revenge? I am. But you know, he, he decided he would go out on his own, you know, you wanna punish him? Snooze. You snoozy lose. We're supposed to have like, you know, a group or do you wanna punish him? No, 

[00:29:56] Toliy: that's not necessarily, what do you mean get side? We we're going to one place, you know, and you flipped it.

[00:30:02] No, no one like, you know, asked or talked about it. And that's it. 

[00:30:08] Harris: No. Once you heard foe, you, you are out, man, for some reason. Totally. There was a time when totally was like, yeah, let's go to foul. Like every mm-hmm. Every two times a week, you know, let's go foe, you know? 

[00:30:17] Mike: Yeah. Now it's banned. He's on a protein kick.

[00:30:21] Respect that kid. 

[00:30:22] Eldar: Alright. Now, I would like to shift this conversation a little bit. Now that we understood that Harris needs to work on his communication skills, we, we raised enough awareness, I think about his communication with Tom, right. Especially about vape, right? Mm-hmm. Hopefully he'll do the right thing in order to get to a better place.

[00:30:37] Know. Yeah. 

[00:30:37] Harris: Yeah. I, I think this is a good start. 

[00:30:39] Eldar: I think this is a good start. 

[00:30:40] Harris: Hey, uh, remove myself and smoke somewhere else, man. Got it. Okay. Well, 

[00:30:44] Eldar: no, that's, you can do that. Sure. But nonetheless, I think that communicating right, you're, oh, yeah, that's, I know. That are you just gonna remove 

[00:30:54] Mike: yourself from 

[00:30:55] Eldar: all relationships'?

[00:30:56] Then when we give context, right? When we give context behind our actions, then we kind of understand each other better, and we can live more of the in the Oh and understanding. 

[00:31:04] Mike: Yeah. The thing is, this is, he's not, he's not a good communicator at all. Yeah. He needs to, like, we had a funny communication this morning.

[00:31:13] We might open, 

[00:31:13] Harris: uh, the Google doc, man. You know what I'm saying? Huh? 

[00:31:17] Mike: We had a funny communication this morning. Yeah. You know? Okay. And he doesn't communicate you, but he knows that he's doing wrong. Uhhuh. No, no, no, no. That's, he doesn't know what he is doing wrong. Sorry. That's crazy. Okay, so I forgot. 

[00:31:32] Harris: I know what you're gonna say.

[00:31:35] Eldar: No said, sorry, this is a private story. Okay. Uh, you don't have to say anything. I already pictured the whole thing as a master manipulator in play. Yeah. 

[00:31:42] Mike: What do you mean? He is a, he's a he. But I think that, I 

[00:31:45] Eldar: think that he's smarter than you think. Yeah, 

[00:31:47] Mike: of 

[00:31:47] Eldar: course he is. He's smarter than you think. 

[00:31:48] Mike: He's preserving himself not to, not to He's having an uncomfortable conversation.

[00:31:52] Yes. So what, what happened? 

[00:31:56] Uh, pin the, the fifth. Oh, Jack again. 

[00:32:02] Alright. Well listen, if he's not, if he's not okay with his, he's not comfortable sharing, I think. Yeah. What it revolves around his like, comment. Yeah. This is like transition to Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:32:09] Harris: Right. Bro, are you serious? Yeah. No. This is a agreement me and Mike have that everyone knows about.

[00:32:14] Okay. 

[00:32:14] Mike: Okay. So let's, we have an ongoing agreement. Yes. And he did not fulfill his obligations during the agreement. Okay. As always. And he didn't also mention anything about his obligations when the agreement due dates around. I was going to mention 

[00:32:25] Harris: it, but I honestly he was going 

[00:32:27] Mike: to mention it, but he chose to avoid it.

[00:32:29] Yes. Okay. 

[00:32:31] Eldar: So he obviously, but he had reasons as to why he avoided it, of course. Justification reasons. Therefore, he did not do knowingly wrong. Yes, correct. You did knowingly the right thing for 

[00:32:39] Harris: yourself. Yeah. He did the right thing for yourself. Correct. 

[00:32:42] Mike: And that's, that's the same thing with, with like now going forward, I feel like he doesn't have to, but the right thing to do is to have the conversation with Tom.

[00:32:54] You know, that's how you put the foundation of the, of the groundwork. Of getting on the same page, but we had 

[00:33:00] Harris: a conversation with that as well. Would Tom understand where I'm coming from or will he, 

[00:33:05] Eldar: I think that, um, um, you don't have to jump to that question whether or not Tom will understand you. I think that you can't skip certain steps and I think that having the conversation in the first place is already a good step from your direction.

[00:33:18] Mm-hmm. How Tom will perceive [00:33:20] it, what conclusions he's gonna make, if he's gonna continue to be agro, I think that's on him. Yeah. And I think for you to be able to sit and say your piece to him without attaching yourself to an outcome from Tom Yeah. Is key here. 

[00:33:34] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:33:35] Eldar: Did you understand what I just said?

[00:33:37] No. Yes. A little bit. Okay. 

[00:33:39] Harris: Explain to me what I'm, I'm pushing for. It's, I can't, uh, overlook the out, I can't look at the outcome. Okay. I need to have the conversation. Okay. I should not, my should not attach myself Okay. To his, uh, uh, perception, I guess. Okay. Right. Or reaction. Reaction. Yeah. Same thing, but Okay.

[00:34:03] Okay. Uh, but it's 

[00:34:06] Eldar: necessary, yes. For its own reasons. Uhhuh, outside of how Tom is gonna perceive it and react to it, it is extreme. It's, it still has good for you. Mm-hmm. Right? How he perceives it. If he accepts your apology or whatever it is, your testimony and. Accepts it or becomes more compassionate towards you or whatever, that's on him.

[00:34:29] You cannot rely on that outcome, nor I don't, I think that's a fool's game. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. But nonetheless, you can do the right thing by raising awareness as to why you smoke. Right. The vape and what stress relief it gives you, you know what I mean? And what he does with it that's on him. And I think he has the right to do whatever it is he wants with it, but allowing it to be in his court.

[00:34:51] Right. Uh, and you practicing, um, self-control, not reacting to the outcome is where the growth is. 

[00:34:59] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:00] Mike: As long as you're good, uh, uh, do you put a good effort into thoroughly understanding the proper communication that's needed and then executing it? Right. I 

[00:35:10] Eldar: think that understanding this part that we just talked about, not being able, not, not being, not, not having to hold attachments towards to Tom's outcome.

[00:35:18] Mm-hmm. Going into it like that, expressing it and not holding anything. No expectations. Yeah. Sure. That, that's big. That's that's very big. Yeah. You know? I agree. That's 

[00:35:27] Toliy: also like a crazy advanced thing, right? 

[00:35:30] Eldar: Mm. Well, he understood it. He, he told me everything that I said back to me, so I don't think that it's, but different 

[00:35:34] Toliy: words, but Yeah.

[00:35:35] Eldar: Yeah. No, he said it, he understands it. 

[00:35:37] Toliy: Yeah. But do I picture him doing this? Like, no. Like, this is a very difficult task. 

[00:35:46] Mike: Is it? I don't know. 

[00:35:48] Toliy: Well, how would you communicate 

[00:35:50] Eldar: to Tom? Why do, why am I, why am I suggesting this in the first place? 

[00:35:54] Harris: So I can explain to Tom where I'm coming from. Mm-hmm. And then he can explain where he's coming from.

[00:35:59] Okay. And then the results of it. Mutual understanding. Yeah. Uh, and kind of an agreement, like, okay, here we go. Okay. I'll respect your wishes. You respect mine. Correct. 

[00:36:09] Toliy: Like, I feel like with Tom, you, you need probably like a good like 10 years of just you being angry at him before you can do anything.

[00:36:15] Mm-hmm. He's probably right. 

[00:36:17] Eldar: You're probably right. 

[00:36:19] Toliy: Yeah. Like, like to, to like, because like, I'm not worried about Tom here. Tom's not here. Yeah. Tom's not here. No, I know. But Paris is here. Harris is willing to have the conversation. No, I know. But I'm saying is that Tom is, um, very difficult, um, for someone who's, who has like very, like, what, who's su so who's very easily susceptible to being hot in those moments.

[00:36:42] Eldar: Well, that's why I think Harris is here and we're trying to figure out how not to be hot. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like he's understanding that, look, Tom has some triggers. He pushes certain buttons and he reacts. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's easier to be on quote unquote, better behavior with us, because we're a little bit more lenient, we're a little bit more accepting.

[00:36:59] Mm-hmm. We see things for what they are a little bit more. Right. Yes. Where Tom Tom's not 

[00:37:02] Toliy: gonna have his shit. Right. But, but, but that's also what I'm saying is that I feel that like, like, and I, I'm, I'm definitely like a person who will try to, try to, I mean, like Mike, Mike always says it to me, like trying to teach like someone calculus when they're like trying to do like basic math.

[00:37:21] Mm-hmm. Right. I feel that like an easier win is to do that with, with, with maybe with us the people that are more understanding, you know, than like, like Tom, Tom is to me, like a next level boss on acting the correct way. Because 

[00:37:37] Eldar: I actually think this other, I think no, I think that like, no, I think you underestimate if you, which level boss we are actually to be, I think, I think that you underestimate the fact that like, for Harris', for Harris to actually quote unquote please you and your standards of understanding it's way far further than Tom's No, no, I'm not saying far.

[00:37:57] I'm saying 

[00:37:57] Toliy: that like we can have a, uh, a much higher pass window for Harris. No, no, no, 

[00:38:03] Eldar: no, no, no. We have a higher pass window for him, but we don't, we have a much higher standard, 

[00:38:08] Toliy: that's for sure. But I'm saying is that like initially Uhhuh, um, like if you have at least one party that's able to understand what's happening, it's definitely an easier scenario to navigate and to try to grow in.

[00:38:20] Um, ver versus like Tom is like, when he does this, he's very aggressive. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So I think it's very difficult to take the advice of like, hey, like listen to what he's saying. Try to have a reasonable conversation and do that because like, like Tom Tom's fucking gunning for you. Like, well, I'm 

[00:38:39] Eldar: not, you know, the thing is I'm not even asking, I'm not even, uh, asking Harris to have a reasonable conversation with Tom.

[00:38:45] Harris: See, that's when he sit down and explained why I'm coming. I'm, 

[00:38:47] Eldar: I'm trying to have Harris see things for what they are when it comes 

[00:38:50] Toliy: to Tom. Yeah. But I feel like that's, I mean, I, I, I, I don't know. It sounds very, very, very difficult, at least. 

[00:38:57] Harris: Well, we gotta give a shot, don't we? 

[00:38:59] Mike: Well, I do think it's possible.

[00:39:00] I think we should. Yeah. To have, no, I think a conversation with Tom, Tom is not unreasonable, especially if you come across Correct. That for sure. But I'm saying for Harris to do that, if by himself, it's definitely hard. But if we have a conversation about it and we practice and we prep him, I think you can ex explain that to him.

[00:39:16] Eldar: And ultimately though, at the end of the day, I think that we're measuring against how many times Harris will get his agro moments or versus Tom's, and I think Tom is a lot more susceptible Yes. Still to those angry moments, agro moments, right? Yeah. More than Harris, because Harris is more like in the thick of things now, right?

[00:39:33] Yeah. Where he's taking a lot of the criticism from us and, and he's trying to mold something where he can have, where he can, number one, be nice, and number two, try to have fun with it. Mm-hmm. Because a lot of times Harris does roll with the punches, you know what I mean? We wear him thin sometimes, and he then folds, but nonetheless he does, he tries, right?

[00:39:50] Mm-hmm. And I think that for some reason he doesn't want to apply that to Tom. Right. Which is the interesting part. He rolls with the punches with us mm-hmm. But not with Tom that, because Tom maybe is hitting, build a belt a little bit subject more sensitive, right. Where, where Harris becomes this person, like almost the dad, it says like, Hey Tom, like he's trying to like, explain something.

[00:40:11] Toliy: It's, it's, it's always much more painful when someone is saying something that you feel that that person doesn't understand you or what you're doing. The insults are always mm-hmm. Much, much, much higher. Like much, much more, more the reason to have the conversation for that person in the moment. That's why when, like, if Krispy stole his phone and said, I'm gay in our group chat versus the other one.

[00:40:34] Mm. It's completely different. 

[00:40:36] Speaker 8: Mm. 

[00:40:37] Toliy: Because when you have, like, if you have someone that, that, like, you feel that this person does not understand you, like what you struggle with, who you are, how you're going about things, and they throw out those kinds of insults or like troll you in a particular way. Right.

[00:40:50] Um, you feel much more sensitivity and pain to that because you're like, like this person's, you know, like who I am or what I'm about or what I'm trying to do. 

[00:40:59] Eldar: Oh, okay. 

[00:41:00] Toliy: Versus the other people, it's not as bad because you, you already showed your ass to them. Mm-hmm. We already see his ass. You know what you 

[00:41:06] Harris: mean, 

[00:41:07] Eldar: man?

[00:41:07] Are you 

[00:41:07] Harris: gay? No, I'm not. 

[00:41:08] Toliy: Why 

[00:41:09] Harris: are you gay? 

[00:41:10] Eldar: Oh, fuck you 

[00:41:10] Harris: man. 

[00:41:11] Eldar: Yeah. Like, that's, that's an interesting take actually. That's a very interesting take. That, but, but that's such, that's again, to me it's a such an easier level boss, right? No. 'cause Tom doesn't know what he's doing. Right. And he has all those quote unquote tools or power to say like, he was trying to use it against him.

[00:41:27] He said, Hey, we're coming up with a plan, Tom. We're about to quit vaping. Like, Tom the fuck down. He's not 

[00:41:31] Mike: able to use logic with Tom because the emotion takes over with us. He was use logic, but why? But again, Tony fighting logical. We operate in the currency of logic. Try to, yeah. So he knows that he doesn't have to get emotional with us.

[00:41:45] He can use his head versus when it's Tom. There's no head used there. It's all emotion. Well, 

[00:41:51] Toliy: no, but why 

[00:41:51] Eldar: does 

[00:41:51] Toliy: Tom have more power over logic? Because he has it like with us, he has been, um, like he's put himself in a position where he's vulnerable and we haven't take, taken that and like crushed it. Throw it in his face with it.

[00:42:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So because of that, like as you continue to operate in that kind of way, you, you grow like, you're almost like, like thick skin in like a way. Yeah. Because these people did not crush you. They actually have your best interest. They're actually, they're trying to help you out.

[00:42:18] Trying to help you. Yeah. Or someone like Tom. Yes. Um, the total organiz, like he hasn't shown himself in that kind of way. He hasn't had those kind of conversations. 

[00:42:25] Eldar: But then, but then it almost falls on us. It's we're saying that the environment that we're breeding is so strong that Harris has the ability to thrive in it a little bit more than Tom's hundred percent and have fun with it.

[00:42:36] Hundred percent. But nonetheless, we're not influential enough then for him to take that back and say, Tom, well fucks not the person 

[00:42:42] Toliy: operates from like, um, from the, the influence. Like, it, it, like we're not enough. We we're not enough influence. 

[00:42:50] Eldar: No, no, no. How many times would 

[00:42:51] Mike: I raise awareness to you about Tom?

[00:42:53] No, it's not enough time on the job and not enough challenges. You have to help me out here, man. I don't know what you're talking about, but, okay. It's, it's about being cool. 

[00:43:01] Eldar: It's a different challenge. It's about being cool. 

[00:43:03] Toliy: Yeah. Like he, he's much more like, like for him to, I don't know, like. I dunno, like the, like him, like I dunno, looking good.

[00:43:10] Or like people thinking that of, of him as good as like, I don't give a shit how I look like. It's not about like us, it's about what the world thinks about him. 

[00:43:17] Eldar: The 

[00:43:17] Toliy: perception? Yes. That's where he operates. Okay. What, what, what do you mean you don't give a shit how you look? You see No, what he's saying is that you want a fancy watch, you want a bracelet, you want like nice shit.

[00:43:29] You put my beard and fucking 

[00:43:30] Eldar: Didn't you say you wanted us to buy that tool that would get your dick bigger? What is wrong with you? What? What the hell man? Why are 

[00:43:36] Harris: you always turning gay, man? What do you 

[00:43:37] Eldar: mean? Why are you gay? Man, I'm trying to help you out here. Hell, man, you wanna, you don't have be embarrassed about the pump.

[00:43:44] Harris: This is not, this is not Diddy shit, bro. Fine. What's wrong with you man? Listen, get back to the series. You've been on Diddy all the week, man. 

[00:43:51] Mike: Fine. Yeah. The thing is, the currency is different in here is different currency and the currency out there is different and he still has more time on the, the job that Yes.

[00:43:59] What happens, 

[00:44:00] Eldar: right? Tom threw some shots at him and all of a sudden he has to go and defend himself. Yes. Right. He's trying to protect that image that totally iss talking about. Yes. That look, he's trying to protect this cool image. Mm-hmm. Right? That he's not these things that he is better than that. But to Tom, I'm not, it it like it all dwindles down.

[00:44:18] It's, and totally said it also in that argument at the end he said Nobody's good enough for Tom, bro. Yeah, yeah. But we don't give a fuck. Yeah. Tom is like an upper echelon. 

[00:44:28] Toliy: But we, we also know that Tom's, like, we don't agree with Tom's, like, take whole take to begin with. Like, he's, he's ruled out You didn't rule him out.

[00:44:37] Right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. It, it, it's like this, it's like, like all of us may, maybe either now or maybe at some point in our lives, like you have a, a room that's like messy. Okay. Right? Yeah. Right. Maybe socks on the floor, a hundred percent. Whatever. Rags everywhere. Oh, what the fuck? Sorry, Harris. Only you, man.

[00:44:54] There's no rags everywhere, man. Right. All right. And you're fine with that. Correct. Like, no problem. Right? Right. Like, yeah. You're okay with that? Yeah. Yeah. Nobody sees it all right. Now, there's like maybe a second level, like your mom walks in your room, you're fine with it, for example, or someone like family or like, while you're beating it, right?

[00:45:10] Oh my God. But, but right. Then, then you have a next, like, the next level after that is what, like your, like your friend, like your boy comes over and you're clearly not gonna have like, I don't know, just like porn open or like, whatever, right. Are you serious? Might watching that? Nah, man. And, and then it, it, it keeps going, right?

[00:45:28] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like, like, for example, like there's a certain level of cleanliness or something like that, that's like, okay for us. Yeah. But then you start inviting people over, you start doing that, right? Like, yeah. It, it, like your outlook changes completely because it's like, yo, when those people come over, they can't see that this is messy.

[00:45:44] Yeah. Right? 

[00:45:45] Eldar: Yeah. You wanna put an image, 

[00:45:46] Toliy: but, but like, I don't know if you're coming over No, no problem. For example, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then there's the like, like the, there's levels to it. There's tears to it. Yeah. Right? Like you, like everyone's okay with like certain levels of things. You start introducing the outside world to it.

[00:45:59] Now you're no longer doing that. Right? So, so then did he not then qualify Tom properly? Well, it, it, it's not about qual. Well, well, yes, but it's also a thing about like, what's actually important to you. It's not like, you're not a, like, that person's not a person who operates off, off of, like, they judge things based on how they feel and what they want to do and, um, like the, like the truth that they operate on.

[00:46:26] Okay. They operate on, on like what the outside world feels of him or not. 

[00:46:31] Eldar: Okay. Here's my next question then, to you Harris, I understood everything totally said, and my question hopefully will prove that. Don't ask him, man, that's fucked. Why the fuck are you trying to defend a ro a illusion or perception about yourself?

[00:46:49] Toliy: Excuse me, Uhhuh. Yeah. Like that. That's the money question for, for everybody. 

[00:46:54] Harris: Yeah. For everybody. Why are you trying to defend an illusion by yourself? Man? Me? Yeah. I don't have to defend anything. I'm the prophet motherfucker. No, but 

[00:47:01] Mike: that's the thing. The, the reason is Uhhuh, short, short version is there's not enough consistency in character.

[00:47:06] He hasn't decided who he is, and this is why we're gonna pivot to the next topic. 

[00:47:12] Eldar: Mm-hmm. Wow. Consistency of character. 

[00:47:16] Mike: Is that what you want? You want to transition something? Is this what you're going, going for? This 

[00:47:19] Eldar: is 

[00:47:19] Mike: okay. Right? 

[00:47:21] Eldar: Showing character and consistency of it. Now that you came about this truth, right?

[00:47:28] You stumbled upon something where you can learn, right? You came up, you, you had this scuffle with Tom, you had this problem. You realized that you are a bad communicator, right? Why are you then not hell bent on diving so deep into this in order to become a good communicator? Why don't you have the stamina for that?

[00:47:51] Why aren't you really like, you know what? There's gold here. Because the truth of the matter is if you look around and it survey this room, at least here, me, I'll start with it. I think that's gold. Totally. 

[00:48:01] Toliy: I mean, of course, like you are asking like the, the, the, the million dollar question of life. It's like, yeah, if you stumble upon the truth, why don't you just dig it, immerse yourself Yes.

[00:48:11] And drop everything. That's it. And do it. It well, yeah. It's like, it, it's it, it's impossible to do that because you have. So many, you, you have way more unconscious thoughts than you do conscious thoughts. Wow. And those unconscious thoughts and re reasons, way overpower. And you kind of like conscious thinking that Harris might have for like little pockets that piled up with being like stressed, tired, and sufferings so much like, like you're completely battered by life and, and you want someone to jump in and like start changing shit about themselves and like, what the fuck?

[00:48:44] Delve into the bible of life. Fuck that. 

[00:48:46] Mike: You want a translation or not? Go into fuck man. You wanna 

[00:48:49] Toliy: go into a tub of fucking chocolate and, and, and fucking, you know what moments all day said, 

[00:48:53] Eldar: there's only one thing that you should be doing right now. You should be taking your car with nice fucking car and going to Home Depot.

[00:49:00] Go to Home Depot and get the biggest shovel you can find, okay? And start digging your own grave. Oh, fuck you. And after you fucking done, you fucking bury yourself and fucking die. 

[00:49:11] Harris: Fuck you. 

[00:49:13] Mike: Did you understand anything he said? What the fuck, man? Yeah. That's fucked up. You know what you just described? He described hell,

[00:49:23] Harris: what's his problem? I, I knew. Yeah. He's not on board the whole you 

[00:49:25] Mike: just described. Hell. 

[00:49:28] Harris: He, 

[00:49:29] Toliy: he is negative. I definitely didn't say what other J just said. But you did say now that he's thinking about it, him do, that's like, 

[00:49:35] Eldar: oh, it's that word. 

[00:49:36] Toliy: No, I'm saying that's fucking hell. That's just the reality of what's No, but that's reality.

[00:49:39] Yeah, that's, that's bad bro. That's, that's the reality of what's 

[00:49:41] Mike: going on. It's, it's not bad. It's just reality, you know? It's just what it is. It is what it is. Damn bro. You're a fucking sinner, bro. Explain to Thank you man. I'm not sure if you understood. Yeah, 

[00:49:49] Harris: I'm the son of a center. 

[00:49:51] Eldar: Oh, okay. Cool. That's a nice little, um, story you've been telling yourself for a little while.

[00:49:55] Jelly Roll. 

[00:49:55] Harris: You don't know that song? 

[00:49:56] Eldar: No, that's, yeah. I dunno. Who do he understand? [00:50:00] Who the fuck 

[00:50:00] Harris: is that guy? Oh, fuck you man. You know Jelly. I underst jelly, nor 

[00:50:04] Eldar: do I care about jelly. Fuck you Jelly. Fuck you. This alright. You wanna suck jelly off? What is wrong with you? I just wanna see how close you're to him, man.

[00:50:13] What is 

[00:50:13] Harris: wrong with you? He's got some good, what the fuck? Good bro. Good thighs, good socks. 

[00:50:19] Eldar: Fuck you. Look at his thighs. Good songs wrong with sick. Fuck all. Holy shit. So what are we talking about here, motherfucker? 

[00:50:26] Harris: You see what he just said to you? Yeah, he, he said he done. Man, you're going to hell

[00:50:34] Eldar: no. He said that. No, he, he didn't say you're going to hell. You are in hell and you don't know that you are in hell. Well, I know I'm in hell. Really? 

[00:50:43] Harris: You think, uh, my life is all, uh, enjoyable? Oh, I definitely don't, 

[00:50:48] Eldar: I definitely don't. You don't think a lot of times I'm miserable. Trust me. I think that, I think that I have a better perception of your life than you do.

[00:50:54] You don't think my life is a lot of times miserable outside of here. But that's why my question is, why are you so hell bent on trying to defend illusions? No. No. But you are asking him a question that he can't answer. He'll no. No, no, no, no. He should hear this question. His subconscious should hear this question.

[00:51:13] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:51:15] Eldar: I'm planting a seed. Okay. 

[00:51:17] Mike: Why is he defending it?

[00:51:24] Because that's all you have. That's 

[00:51:25] Toliy: all you, is that all you have? That's all he 

[00:51:27] Mike: has. Yeah. That's all you have. That's 

[00:51:29] Toliy: the truth. Yeah. That, that, that's why throughout the, what it's called, the winning moment is when Eminem went on the mic and said, yeah, I'm white trash. I live in the trailer park. Yeah. I'm, I'm a piece of shit.

[00:51:40] I'm a piece of shit. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You fucked my girl, right? Yeah. And, and what, and what, what else you got to say? Yeah. Yeah. He said everything and then the other guy froze. He's like, yo, what the fuck? Like, that's right. This guy, like, he finally said like, yo, fuck all this nonsense. I'm not gonna, all 

[00:51:54] Harris: right here, here, do this.

[00:51:55] Here's my m moment. And 

[00:51:56] Toliy: he 

[00:51:56] Harris: killed that. I'm a dumb ass. Yes. All right. A piece of shit. Okay. All right. Uh, selfless piece of shit. Selfish, selfish piece of shit. Okay. Okay. 

[00:52:09] Eldar: See, I think, I mean, m believed it. Yeah. Yeah. And he understood it. And he understood it. And I think that probably contributed to his success, obviously.

[00:52:16] Yes. Yes. You know what I mean? And then he, he ran with it. He used it. He leveraged it. 

[00:52:23] Toliy: Yeah. His, his last, his last line went when he handed him back to Mike was Right. No. Which, wait, so what you gonna say about it? Right. No. Tell me something that I don't know about. I know about me. That's right. That's what I said.

[00:52:35] Yeah. He's like, tell me something I don't know about, I know about me. Because he said everything. 

[00:52:38] Eldar: He said everything. 

[00:52:38] Toliy: It was done. That guy was speechless, he was done. All those things that those guys were dis about. You can't just start repeating them. 'cause it's not funny. It's not funny anymore. It's the gig up.

[00:52:46] There's a person finally. That's right. Admitted it. You know, 

[00:52:50] Mike: you see, 

[00:52:52] Eldar: so, so then our progression to some degree comes from accepting that which has been hidden or we've been hiding ourselves from 

[00:53:04] Toliy: Yeah. That, that's the liberation of things. Like the process of liberation is doing that, seeing it, and then like, like once you have that out in the open and then like you're consciously like taking actions to like, to work on it.

[00:53:18] Speaker 8: Yeah. 

[00:53:19] Toliy: Like you are reprogramming who you are and what, what you're made of. But up until then, it's just like a stalling process of like defending a, like a land that you don't like to begin with, you know? Yeah. Like you're gonna put all your energy in defending that. Like, like, you know. 

[00:53:38] Eldar: Gimme some of your thoughts.

[00:53:38] You have a lot to say. Yeah. Like right now you look Yeah. Like a hog. Just Yeah. Just the way that you're saying. Yeah. It seems like you want to eat, eat, eat. Me. Yeah. Starting from, from the dick up. What? 

[00:53:47] Harris: What the fuck? Six. What the hell, man? Yeah. See, this is why, uh, you know, you have a little bit of gay in you, bro.

[00:53:54] There problem, you immediately do. Yeah. Yeah. The whole week you've been on did this, did da listen. You know what I'm saying? Listen, I'm trying to 

[00:53:59] Eldar: snap you outta it because you were staring at my crotch. I was not staring at your crotch. You called you, you were 

[00:54:03] Harris: staring at my crotch. I was staring at your fucking head, man.

[00:54:06] You were 

[00:54:06] Eldar: staring at my 

[00:54:07] Harris: crotch and I felt uncomfortable. I'm not staring at your crotch. You sit, fuck 

[00:54:10] Eldar: you cro. So tell me what the fuck you have on your mind. I want, you know, 

[00:54:15] Harris: man, you basically saying a lot of bullshit, man. Yo, how so, man? You saying I gotta live like this until God knows how fucking long, man.

[00:54:30] Eldar: There you go. No, no. You know who does actually, you, you see that moment of clarity, of understanding like, wait, what the fuck? That's that, that what the fuck supposed to grow Every single time we raise awareness and to the point where sooner or later you won't have gapping moments to escape from it.

[00:54:49] You're gonna be like, oh shit. I'm in it. I gotta do something about it. 'cause I don't like it. Yeah. 

[00:54:53] Toliy: You know? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also like a mentality, um, shift there where it's like you said, only God knows how long, like, like I think. I'm not sure if God knows, let's say like what's gonna be your next move or what, like what's the next step?

[00:55:08] I think that he might see like, like how people act and what they do and what they're typically going to do. Right. But I think that like, like if you believe in choice, like you are the only one that can know, like when you actually take steps to start turning this around. Do you believe 

[00:55:25] Mike: that? No. What's his fucking problem?

[00:55:30] Harris: He, he's all negative man. He's been negative. What for the fact, all week, I'm the most positive person right now. Are you kidding me? Man, you've been locked in the office last three days, man. So talk to us, Harris. Give us some 

[00:55:43] Eldar: fucking feedback. You're in the ocean right now. You, you, you, the waves are crazy.

[00:55:47] Wherever you went, even though you were staring at my crotch. 

[00:55:50] Harris: See, I was not staring at your crotch, bro. I was staring right at directly at you. But you were staring at me. No, before the record you did say I wasn't staring in your, your 

[00:55:57] Toliy: crotch. I was staring at your head. Yeah. He's Which head were you 

[00:55:59] Eldar: staring at?

[00:56:00] Oh, shit. 

[00:56:01] Harris: Directly like this, right at your fucking face. Yeah, 

[00:56:03] Eldar: but you have, you have crooked eyes, so I don't know what the fuck looks, are you staring directly at you have the, you have the same eyes as 

[00:56:11] Harris: from Mr. Davis. Little bit, bro. Huh? Harris, you got on my nerves a little bit. Harris. Yeah. Yeah, Harris. Why?

[00:56:18] Why, why, why? Because you're saying I gotta live like this for eternity until I figure it the fuck out. Well, that's gold. Well, what 

[00:56:25] Toliy: else are you gonna do? Yeah. Like, isn't it not reality if you don't, and it's, but I'm trying 

[00:56:30] Harris: to figure it out, but I don't wanna live like this for a 

[00:56:31] Eldar: fucking while, man. So prove it.

[00:56:34] Listen, I'm on your side here. You know what I mean? I'm, I'm trying to challenge the fact that you can kickstart this motherfucker and say, you know what? I had enough. I'd like to change this shit. What do you think 

[00:56:43] Harris: I'm trying to do with this fucking plan? Man? 

[00:56:46] Eldar: I know you're trying. I'm not, I'm not going against that.

[00:56:49] I, and that's why I don't like 

[00:56:50] Harris: living like this, man. 

[00:56:51] Eldar: All right.

[00:56:55] Harris: Why are you giving me that look, man. 

[00:56:57] Toliy: The thing is that like, no, no one really likes to live like this, but like. Uh, reality is that like you're gonna have to continue living like this until you slowly make particular steps to like start changing. What do you think we're trying do, man? All of these types of things.

[00:57:16] Yeah. What we're 

[00:57:16] Harris: trying to do, man. 

[00:57:18] Eldar: The No, he's just trying to bridge the gap between your memory lapses, right? Yes. Because a lot of times what's happening is that we're talking about this right now. We having a really specific moment, and I think this moment is big for everyone because it's always a special moment, right?

[00:57:31] Where we raise awareness and like, oh shit, there's work to be done. I'm suffering. I need help. I'd like to change, right? But then life happens, right? You're gonna come outside and then you're gonna have a different moment. And that different moment's gonna be with your dad, with your mom, with your brother, with your friend.

[00:57:50] And those different moments do what they require. Attention. Your attention. Mm-hmm. So the attention that you've given us now here, right? You've given totally me, Mike, it's not gonna be there because you're gonna have to give attention to your dad, to your brother, to your mom. And that is the attention deficit that we have, right?

[00:58:12] You can't continue to stretch that moment. You can't continue to raise that awareness. The, the faster that you figure out a way to extend this moment past just this moment. The more awareness you will raise and the faster you'll find solutions. Hey man, I've been 

[00:58:28] Harris: remembering to, I, I've been asking about the plan for how many days now, 

[00:58:33] Toliy: but, but, but it's also, you're pretty consistent.

[00:58:36] What, what do, what do you call somebody that wants something? Yeah. Right. Um, but then like, um, stay with us Harris, but then their actions, for example, are not like in compliance with that. What, what would you call that kind of person? 

[00:58:54] Eldar: Sick. 

[00:58:56] Toliy: Okay. Like what, what else? Like more more specific. What? My, he 

[00:58:59] Eldar: didn't want that one.

[00:59:00] Toliy: Well, well, like for example, like that's a regular person. I, I know. It's not like we're, we're, we're in the beginning stages of like the plan, right? But like, like for example, like I could say like forever, Hey, like I want to get in shape, right? Yeah. Like, how many times have I said that out loud? A thousand.

[00:59:14] Or like, I wanna lose weight. How many times have I said that out loud? A thousand. But my actions what? Don't, don't, don't, don't do. Why not? Yeah. I'm, I'm saying what I want. So like, I hear what you want, right? And you probably also want to like lose weight, right? But then in a different moment you want to stuff yourself with, with, uh, desserts too, right?

[00:59:33] Like the person that's stuffing himself with dessert and the person who wants to 

[00:59:37] Harris: lose weight. But technically I didn't have a big dessert. I want it. Hey, 

[00:59:40] Eldar: you don't have to defend yourself. Yeah. He's making example. Don't to technically, why did you feel like you needed to make a fucking defense for yourself here?

[00:59:46] Harris: Well, he making it sound like I stuck my face, man. I stuff my, why did he have to there? 

[00:59:52] Eldar: Harris. You see, you don't see that He's just making an example, a relative example, so you can relate to it. He doesn't say, well, he's not accusing you that you fucking ate 

[01:00:01] Toliy: jerk. You know, also, fuck. Like, until you can come to terms with those examples, you can't change.

[01:00:04] Harris: Yeah. He doesn't realize he's been waiting for me to ask and ask and ask for help. Right. For the past week or even before the end of the week. Mm-hmm. I've been asking for help every day consistently. Yeah. To come up with a plan. Yeah. And this is what he's supposedly Uhhuh been waiting on. Yeah. But he 

[01:00:23] Mike: still doesn't believe it.

[01:00:27] Well, what's wrong with that? Uh, well, why do you have 

[01:00:29] Eldar: like a gripe towards it 

[01:00:32] Harris: Forward? 

[01:00:33] Eldar: Because my, my breaking breaking point boy. 

[01:00:37] Harris: Really? Yeah. How so? I need to change, bro, unless I'm not gonna survive. All right. Can we take it seriously? Well, I'm sure some people in this room can, you know, I'm not sure about much.

[01:00:50] I think it's, no, I think that, I think everyone can take this serious. Yeah. I think it's much 

[01:00:53] Toliy: easier, um, um, for us to take it seriously than for you to take it seriously. 

[01:00:59] Harris: I'm the one that's been on everyone's case. No, but Yeah. But I think that you're 

[01:01:03] Toliy: discounting Yeah. Your subconscious replies and operation and it, but, but it is very difficult for that, for the person who's in it to connect those two things, Harris.

[01:01:14] Eldar: To 

[01:01:14] Toliy: be 

[01:01:14] Eldar: honest, I want to be pleasantly surprised with your dedication towards this plan. 

[01:01:18] Toliy: Yeah. Like 

[01:01:19] Eldar: I can 

[01:01:20] Toliy: be, 

[01:01:20] Eldar: I I, and I'm, I can be and I'm optimistic. Yeah. Totally. Is not totally pessimistic, but I'm optimistic. I can, I think Mike is more optimistic as well. 

[01:01:26] Toliy: I, I, I can be with a plan that with, with a plan at a knowledge room.

[01:01:31] Like, uh, what, what's the word, Don? Nausea. Nauseating, nauseating way level. Like to, to the point, like, you'll tap out faster. The, I mean, we always say, say that the people who want the help tap out way before our offerings of help. That's right. Our offerings of help way exceed the people who are asking for it and ready to receive.

[01:01:49] We have to see about 

[01:01:50] Harris: that, won't we? 

[01:01:50] Eldar: Yes, 

[01:01:51] Harris: yes. 

[01:01:52] Eldar: That's what we want to hear. Yes. Mm-hmm. However, Harris, however, I'm gonna tell you right now, we're very good at what we do. And the fact that he's saying this, he's giving you a warning. Right. And this should be your cheat code, where it's like, Hey, we ain't gonna give up.

[01:02:09] Toliy: You're Yeah. Like, you're gonna give up. The person's playing like a, like a minesweeper, you know? Yeah. Like, like you're, you're blindfolded right now, and there's mines every, everywhere. 

[01:02:18] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:02:20] Toliy: But you don't see them, 

[01:02:21] Eldar: you know, and we have, we have this, these glasses, these special glasses to see those mines Yes.

[01:02:28] On that field. And that's why we're trying to warn you for them, right? 

[01:02:30] Mike: Yes. 

[01:02:30] Eldar: Uh, like I saw the mind that you were afraid a little bit of the plan. So I, I was like, okay, cool. It seems like we need to just introduce some of the little concepts of what we're gonna do with you in order for you to relieve some of that anxiety.

[01:02:41] Did I do it? Mm-hmm. It worked. You calm down a little bit. Mm-hmm. Did you know that was doing it? No. You see? 

[01:02:51] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:02:51] See, 

[01:02:52] Eldar: you see, because I try to foresee certain things and play chess instead of playing checkers to make sure that you feel better, feel good and comfortable with it, so you can be persistent in the plan, how it's gonna come out.

[01:03:06] We're gonna see it's all up to your character. It's all about your strength, your thick skin. What the fuck? Sick 

[01:03:11] Harris: fuck, 

[01:03:11] man. 

[01:03:12] You want to eat that? No, man. All right, fine. Smell it a little bit. What 

[01:03:17] is wrong with you, man, that's profit Mike Jx fucking my way. So I can fucking smell. It's sick. It's good flavor.

[01:03:23] Okay. That was a running, so totally. Kit 

[01:03:26] Eldar: Toley is almost giving, giving out cheat codes here. He, he likes the cheat codes. You know what I mean? Mine's a little bit more hidden and they just happen to you, but totally gives them to you straightforward, but they're nonetheless invisible to you. So if you really pay attention, he wants you to succeed.

[01:03:42] But he also knows how hard it is to succeed from experience, from experience, but it's also from universal things that we've been discussing for a very long time on this podcast that it's hard to change. It's hard to change those, um, subconscious behaviors that, of bad habits that you've been going on for a very long time.

[01:04:02] Right? You've been shackled in this prison and this hell for a very long time. And a lot of people are, we're just challenging them. That look. The thing is, despite the fact. Despite the fact that you've been shackled in pri is in this prison, you have something in you. All of us have it in you, right? Our soul, our minds, right?

[01:04:22] And our ability to reason that, that's the key to unlocking all that nonsense. If you tap into your mind and really try to think, you can figure this thing out, and I, I al I always, I always optimistically bet like, bet on that. You know what I mean? I sometimes get blindsided, you know what I mean by by certain outcomes, you know?

[01:04:46] But I'm okay with it because I think that maybe my ignorance is bliss, uh, moments of optimistically doing the right thing or doing the thing, uh, is to give it my all. Maybe in that moment where then if it does fail, it fails. Not on my accord, but maybe on someone else's. And I feel better about that. You know what I mean?

[01:05:06] We talk about this all the time, you know, so when people do walk out the door, it's not because of me. That's because they chose to walk out the door. 

[01:05:14] Mike: You know what I'm saying?

[01:05:18] So we'll see. I'm excited. I hope you, 

[01:05:23] Eldar: as excited as I am right. You showing some character right now, and hopefully you'll show that character because like totally said, this is gonna be, this plan is gonna be a very difficult one. Um, because there's so much in it. 

[01:05:38] Toliy: Yeah. Like there, there's a much higher likelihood of you telling us to fuck off with this plan.

[01:05:42] Then you going th through with it. 

[01:05:45] Harris: We'll just see about that one. We, that, that, that 

[01:05:47] Toliy: that is just reality. But it's not a bad or a good thing like that, that that's just the reality of it. Because like complete overhaul change is way more unlikely than resorting back to old, old habits. Right. Like you'd agree with that.

[01:06:02] Sure. Right. It's much harder to do that, 

[01:06:05] Eldar: but let me know, you know, what Tony doesn't mean that's not possible. But I'm gonna arm, um, Harris a little bit here, despite the fact that this plan might be hard and difficult. I think that we've never done it the way we're doing it now. Okay. Um, the fact that we're putting all our hands together, assigning very specific tasks, very specific goals in order to accomplish a general universal goal that we're trying to help 'em with.

[01:06:31] Right. Starting with physical health, right. Losing weight, dieting, you know, um, sleeping better, feeling better, everything. Right. Okay. [01:06:40] Um, I think because of the fact that we've united to do this on individual, but yet together level, uh, we've never done this before, so I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be excited to see how this turns out.

[01:06:53] Toliy: Yeah, no, that part for sure. My, my main con like, uh, concerns at least is that like, um, um, like at least in my experience of learning, um, like you could want to do something right, but um.

[01:07:13] Like the, the focus of what you actually want and what you set out to do and what you desired and like all that. Right. Um, is oftentimes like, um, broken up by the other stressors in your life. Right? Yeah. But I think And that makes it more difficult Yeah. To overcome those, those things because it's like, yeah.

[01:07:34] Like, it, like, like it's always like the thing of like, well, like, um, if for example, like, I don't know if you have, like you have, uh, are the priorities. I get it. Yeah. I get it. I 

[01:07:45] Harris: get 

[01:07:45] Toliy: it. Paris, 

[01:07:46] Eldar: is this the most important thing? 

[01:07:49] Harris: What I'm 

[01:07:50] the plan? 

[01:07:50] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. It is the most important part. We're gonna have to remind you of that.

[01:07:54] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:07:55] Eldar: For quite some time. Yeah. Okay. So right now you, you've giving us enough trust, maybe respect, right? Yeah. Uh, to get you kickstarted. 

[01:08:04] Toliy: He has an umph right now. Yes. Right. But when you get tired or stressed out in the process Yeah. That umph goes down. Right. Okay. And then it's like, well, one day off isn't bad.

[01:08:16] Right? Yeah. For, for example mm-hmm. Just metaphorically, right? Yeah. Then the next time that'll turn into two and three. And then Harris, for example, I'm gonna give you 

[01:08:22] Eldar: a disclaimer, despite the fact that everyone here in this room at least is willing to help you. Right. And we'll try to do their best to help you.

[01:08:30] I want to give you a heads up. We've never done this before in this matter. 

[01:08:35] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:08:36] Eldar: However, I think it's a, it's a pretty cool experiment. To see whether or not we can combine our efforts. Right. And everything that we've learned in order to bring you to the success line. If we can do that again, we can prove out.

[01:08:49] See, that's persistence. 

[01:08:51] Toliy: Yeah. Can you be like Penny? Yeah, 

[01:08:54] Eldar: yeah. Can. This is the plan and this is you. Right. Can you outpace us when it comes to like, I want to do more. I'm ready and willing and able right now you're like Archie 

[01:09:07] Harris: actually 

[01:09:08] Eldar: no, he's been, come on. Give him some credit. Fine. 

[01:09:11] Harris: I've been on your case, boy.

[01:09:12] Yeah, you told me. Don't gimme no time frame, man. Get closer. I've been on your case and you told me don't give no damn timeframe, man. That's right. Yeah man. 

[01:09:22] Eldar: You understand? Yeah. So it's gonna be interesting, as interesting as it is for you, it's gonna be interesting for us. Mm-hmm. So I'm giving you disclaimer, the fact that we've never done this before.

[01:09:29] So you are an experiment, uh, experimental lab rat. Yeah. 

[01:09:34] Harris: In a way. I'm looking forward to that. 

[01:09:35] Eldar: Alright, that's awesome. That's a good attitude to have, you know what I mean? I think anytime we talked about a student, a teacher dynamic or relationship, I think excitement to get things going. You know what I mean?

[01:09:47] With a good attitude, uh, is one of the prerequisites in order to succeed, I think. Yeah. So I think that if you have three willing and teachers here to be able to get 

[01:09:57] Mike: you on the right track, um, that'd be good. I'm gonna excel so you better watch out. You know, I'm looking to excel. 

[01:10:09] Eldar: Um, sure man. Okay. And I think that everyone else is gonna try to excel, you know?

[01:10:14] So You gonna I'm looking 

[01:10:15] Harris: forward to what everyone comes out with. 

[01:10:16] Eldar: Yeah. Good. That's awesome. 

[01:10:19] Harris: Especially this guy over here, man. 

[01:10:21] Eldar: All right, Mike. Mm-hmm. So what do you think about this consistency of character thing? Well, 

[01:10:27] Mike: up

[01:10:31] to tie it into Harris thing, it's the thing I say all the time, the, but it's a hard, it is a hard thing to do. The, the subtraction, 

[01:10:41] Eldar: removing some of the stuff Yeah. To be able to focus. If you wanna be consist 

[01:10:44] Mike: in character, you have to start building it one brick at a time. Yeah. And the less distractions you have, the better, the better you can focus on building that character, that building that foundation.

[01:10:54] Speaker 8: Yeah. 

[01:10:56] Mike: And I think that's what tolls was referring to, the worries that yeah, one day you may feel good. Mm-hmm. You may be on top of your game. Yeah. And then the next day you like, yo, I wanna take a deal. I don't wanna deal with this shit. I'm tired. Like I have my own problems. Yeah. I'm excited about something else.

[01:11:10] You know, and I think that maybe it's part of the process 

[01:11:15] Eldar: too, and I think this is a very important thing that you're saying now, and I'd like to expand on it mm-hmm. To, to, maybe this is for us as the quote unquote coaches here. Right. Or the mentors and our own respect fields, um, that we're being assigned to, not to say that we're experts in it.

[01:11:30] Mm-hmm. Um, that we have to keep that in mind. The fact that, uh, Harris, right, who's a real human boy. He's a real boy, is wrong boy. Do you know Pinocchio? Are you stupid, man? 

[01:11:43] Mike: Well, I'm just saying though. You know what I'm saying? Does your dingus grow when you line?

[01:11:49] Harris: He's mean. Man. I thinking about my dingus man. 

[01:11:53] Toliy: He, he actually has like a Pinocchio. Yes, he does. He has that like 

[01:11:58] Eldar: he's a real boy. 

[01:11:59] Toliy: Yeah, he's a slope. Yes. And he likes to EDOs laugh 

[01:12:03] Harris: sick. And Tom being the Jao guy's sick. Fuck yes. 

[01:12:09] You know who Pinocchio is? Of course. I watched him when I was a kid. That's sick.

[01:12:12] And who's Jato? And I had to watch it with my nieces. Who's Jato? Wow. Uh, the guy that takes care of him, man, 

[01:12:20] I 

[01:12:20] Eldar: say his 

[01:12:20] Harris: dad. 

[01:12:21] Eldar: Yeah. Just bad. Yes. I'm a real boy. Yes. Right. Harris has, is gonna come across what those, uh, hurdles those Yes. Uh, speed bumps. Yeah, of course. And we have to be mindful of the fact that we're gonna come across those speed bumps.

[01:12:37] So I think that in this case, we have to almost support each other's thing to know that like, look, like, you know, there's gonna be speed bumps here and we have to be persistent enough to be able to stick through it with him. Yes. To know that, um, it's not always gonna be easy because he's trying to do a whole life transformation.

[01:12:53] Well, 

[01:12:53] Toliy: yeah. Like a, a lot of a lot of it is like amne, like amnesia based. Yeah. Right. As I, like you forgot. What you're doing. You forgot how this feels. You forgot like, yeah, like, it's like, like for me, a good example right now is like every time, like probably 99% hit hitch chance when I go to the gym. Yeah.

[01:13:11] And like, like I actually go through with it. I do my whole routine. I do the song, I fake news, do everything fake. Like the odds of me feeling good afterwards are like extremely high. Yeah. Right. But I, I also know that like, if I do that enough times, like my con my like my conscious moment knows that and understands that.

[01:13:32] Yeah. But my subconscious yet doesn't Oh, it's not connected yet. No. Okay. So me doing that enough times I will automatically remember is like, no, no, this feels good. Like this is a good feeling. Enjoy doing this. You don't have to convince yourself anymore. Enjoy this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there there's no more of like forgetting what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how you're doing it.

[01:13:49] And that's when it becomes automatic, automatic. When you no longer have that, you, you can't have amne, um, um, amnesia because you're not remembering something like, and, and, and like, it, it's a phenomenon of like, if you understand something, you don't need to remember it. You heard this new quote that you're gonna be wearing.

[01:14:09] Say it. If you understand something, you don't need to to remember it, you know? 

[01:14:15] Harris: Hmm. 

[01:14:16] Mike: So the, so in your case, the action of doing it hasn't lined up with the understanding of it yet? 

[01:14:22] Toliy: Well, it's, it, it's growing to that it. Okay. Right. But like. There's an undeniable feeling that like you have afterwards. Yeah, of course.

[01:14:30] Right. That like, you, like, I mean any, like any task of doing it, like you feel great. Oh yeah. You feel it, you know, but it needs to get ingrained into like an automatic, like there's no more need to remember, like, you understand. And for you not, not to do it, like, uh, uh, like, like it, it would need to be, some kind of exceptions are happening for you, not, not to do what you understand.

[01:14:53] Eldar: And you know who said that as well? Mm-hmm. She's going along the lines of Socrates who said, you don't need to write stuff down. Mm. Because it only messes up with your memory. Because if you understand something mm-hmm. You don't have to remember it. 

[01:15:04] Harris: Yeah. Why'd you say fake news, 

[01:15:06] Mike: man? 

[01:15:06] Eldar: About what? 

[01:15:07] Mike: When he No, I was just busting his ball.

[01:15:09] Yeah. You know, so it's, it's good. Yeah.

[01:15:18] But I also think that whatever is happening is regardless, is still part of the process, is the pro and the, the distractions. They may be, I'm not sure, but they may be necessary to a certain extent because the work that's being done is very challenging. Mm-hmm. And it's very strenuous, you know? 

[01:15:37] Eldar: Um, no, I think in a 

[01:15:38] Mike: certain degree, 

[01:15:39] Eldar: yeah.

[01:15:39] I think the challenging work becomes when the individual actually starts feeling better about themselves in whatever it is that they're doing. 

[01:15:46] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:15:46] Eldar: Slightly better. So what's gonna happen is, right. Mm-hmm. This is the prophecy that you like for me to give out. You know, the prophet is gonna give some prophecies in the moment.

[01:15:57] Mm-hmm. As soon as you start feeling better. Right. Day five, day seven, day eight, the fact that you are on the diet or on exercise mm-hmm. Or whatever it is Right. Was gonna start happening as you start feeling good. 

[01:16:08] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:16:08] Eldar: That feeling of good is gonna wanna materialize previous habits of, of what you like to do.

[01:16:14] However, the previous habits are not carry, they're not conducive to you, they're bad habits. Mm-hmm. Right. So there's gonna be a conflict between the two. Yes. Do you stay focused or do you go and pursue those things that you actually quote unquote, like Yeah, 

[01:16:26] Mike: that's a big one, 

[01:16:28] Eldar: but let's see. 

[01:16:29] Mike: But, but I also do think, I don't know if it's like a stressful or, or it's, it's, you know, the process of discovering all the things you're doing wrong.

[01:16:38] It is heavy, you know, to a certain extent it is. And it is. You do want to relax and you do want to like a release, you know, she wants a release, big release. 

[01:16:47] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:16:48] Mike: A big, he's doing a gay thing. Beautiful release. He's always doing the gay thing, man. 

[01:16:52] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:16:52] Mike: Yeah. And I think that's, that's important. That's important to release.

[01:16:56] Yeah. To have that stress relief. 

[01:16:58] Harris: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:16:58] Mike: But I think 

[01:16:59] Harris: as you mature, so you're saying go out and, uh, get releases with the girlies. I'm so saying. 

[01:17:04] Mike: No, I'm saying that's possible. Yeah. I'm saying that the old primitive, let's just call 'em primitive. Yeah. Ways of releasing. Yeah. Resorting to that is not necessarily good.

[01:17:14] You want to find new ways to release or to relax or to decompress. As long as it's providing the same thing, that line that I, that doesn't take away from your progress. Yeah. But again, it's also hard to do. Yeah. Because you don't think to say, you know what guys, I'm really tired. I want to release, I want to relax.

[01:17:31] We, we 

[01:17:31] Eldar: just gave 

[01:17:32] Mike: you another warning. 

[01:17:33] Eldar: Yes. Mm-hmm. It's a warning. Explain to Mike and Tony what warning that is. While I go pee, 

[01:17:38] Harris: there's gonna be points where I feel like, uh, I need to break AKA release being tired and all this other stuff. Tired from what though? You have to explain that. 

[01:17:46] Mike: I don't know. Doing all the work.

[01:17:47] Well, because the, the self discovery is a stressful thing. You're learning about all the things you've been doing wrong. And it could be overwhelming to a person who hasn't dove in guess way. All their bad habits 

[01:18:02] Harris: is when you quit nicotine. Oh. Not only that, or all this, right. Uh, you need to, your, your time needs to be taken up by something.

[01:18:10] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:18:12] Harris: So why can't we do all this other stuff as, 

[01:18:17] Mike: but the nicotine is, there's a physical manifestation of the mental work that's gonna be done. 

[01:18:21] Toliy: Yeah. But you know, you're not gonna have enough stamina. What do you mean to constantly be doing something?

[01:18:29] Because like, the, like the nicotine, like you like, like, like it, like, it's not like you said, okay, I'm gonna, I have this two hour block every day where I smoke. Like you smoke while doing other things. Mm-hmm. So it's not necessarily that like you would have more time, for example, or some something to do, but, so like this, you need to keep your 

[01:18:49] Harris: mind busy.

[01:18:50] No. Yeah. 

[01:18:50] Toliy: But also like this kind of work requires a lot of, of, uh, of brain power. Yes. And you, you would, you would be like burnt out. You burn out like this. Exhaustive. And the way 

[01:19:02] Mike: till you, that you currently deal with exhaustion is what do you do? You drink, you eat, you smoke, you go out, you jerk off, you jerk off.

[01:19:10] You make out with crispy. Yeah. Fuck you man. What the fuck? What the hell? Man? Man, I might 

[01:19:14] Harris: just need to go out and get some girlies every night. Yeah. To get the release. 

[01:19:18] Eldar: No, but that's, that's a very important, um, suggestion is that despite the fact that you're gonna be doing a lot of work, you also need to relax sometimes.

[01:19:26] Mm-hmm. And obviously your feedback, your communication has to be good enough for us to take that in consideration. Because if we're, quote unquote your coaches here, we have to take that in consideration in order to help you out there. Right. Or like, Hey guys, like I'm, I'm fucking spent. You know what I mean?

[01:19:42] Mm-hmm. Like if we're, because remember like, we're gonna be shooting in the dark here. We don't, we don't know your strength, we don't know your resilience. We don't know your, you know, habits and all this other stuff. So I'm gonna 

[01:19:50] Harris: work out, sometimes I push it too hard. 

[01:19:53] Eldar: Yeah, correct. 

[01:19:54] Harris: That Mike was like, yo, when we were, when the mic was helping me, he was like, yo, slow down.

[01:19:58] You need to slow the hell down. Correct. Mm-hmm. Correct. Because I was like, uh, we were doing, what was it? That machine. I was like, I could do five more. Mm-hmm. And he is like, it's not, yeah. I don't know. The thing 

[01:20:07] Mike: is, we don't know 

[01:20:07] Harris: your 

[01:20:07] Mike: levels. 

[01:20:08] Eldar: We don't know your levels. We need to get to know one another.

[01:20:10] Right. And, uh, we also know that you might overdo things where we're gonna push towards finding the middle way. 

[01:20:17] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. 

[01:20:17] Eldar: Right. Where we, you know, just enough so you can continue doing it without needing to Yeah. Hurt too much. Slow and steady. Slow and slow and steady. Get you to a place where you're comfortable with that you can continue doing growing and then hopefully getting addicted to see when I was a better lifestyle 

[01:20:31] Harris: when I was working, like, uh, began working out.

[01:20:36] Yeah. I always thought, you know, like, you know the term feel the burn. 

[01:20:39] Speaker 8: Yeah. I 

[01:20:40] Harris: thought that's what the goal was, man. Yeah. Yeah. You see no pain, no gain, boy. Yeah. Feel the burn. You know how everyone goes, feel the burn, you know? Yeah. Well you 

[01:20:48] Eldar: should definitely feel a little bit of burn, but you definitely don't wanna feel the burn where you hurt your shoulder or you can't come back tomorrow.

[01:20:53] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:20:54] Eldar: You know what I mean? Yeah. Yesterday I felt the burn in my shoulder and I'm not gonna come back for three weeks 'cause I'm an idiot. 

[01:20:59] Harris: What the fuck? Oh yeah. My ego got the best of me yesterday. That's not, it's not gonna be three weeks, but, okay. 

[01:21:04] Eldar: No, I'm just saying. I'm giving you an example. All right. I went rock climbing, said I was gonna accomplish that.

[01:21:08] I really pushed it. I almost accomplished it. I didn't accomplish it, but I did accomplish it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Uh, and I hurt myself a little bit. I pushed it, I did accomplish it. Rightfully so. An idiot pushes is gonna get hurt. Like I got what I, what I deserved. 

[01:21:23] Toliy: Yeah. And sometimes from like a workout point, it's like one intense workout or like.

[01:21:28] Seven consecutive, like, moderate, normal, you know, normal. Yeah. Like consistent ones. 

[01:21:32] Eldar: Correct. That's the Buddhist way, that's the eastern philosophy. Yeah. Alright. Um, do we have any more insights? Do we have any more things that we want to add to this persistence, this showing character and actually honing in?

[01:21:47] Maybe you can, you can talk about your example, Mike, yesterday you, you know, I know you were rock climbing and you were doing that stuff and you definitely were focusing or zeroing in on it. Mm-hmm. How was that? And, uh, maybe you can give us some, uh, real life examples. Uh, yeah. 

[01:22:02] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:22:02] Eldar: How you feeling? What you're feeling, what, what, what you need to still feel?

[01:22:07] Mike: Well, yeah, I mean, I have a much better attitude about what I'm doing now. Mm-hmm. I'm still working on the same climb for like, the past five sessions probably. Yeah. And how's that? You know, I have a much better attitude. I'm happy about it because I decided that I'm gonna see it through to the end. 

[01:22:21] Eldar: Yeah.

[01:22:22] Mike: And that I may never accomplish it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, well, not that it's never the, the fact that it's might be changed. It might be changed. Yeah. Yeah. 'cause of just the timing of the They're gonna change the routes. Yeah. But I may not be able to get it done. Mm-hmm. But just coming in there, trying new approaches, you know, pushing myself and having a positive attitude and, and, and enjoying the process and laughing about it.

[01:22:43] Yeah. It's, um, it's a different process. You've never done it before, right? Different because you've been different and, um, I'm very happy. Yeah. You are happy. 

[01:22:52] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:22:52] Mike: Okay. Yeah, that's good because I'm not beating myself up about it. Yeah. I'm not talking down to myself. 

[01:22:58] Eldar: And, and if you notice, I don't know if you notice this, right?

[01:23:01] Mm-hmm. You are becoming more creative in the way you approach the thing in the first place because Yeah. Now, where before a lot of times your, your, uh, your thoughts were going towards, I can't do this. I'm not, my body's not cut out for this. Now you're like, okay, how do we do this? Mm-hmm. Right? And now you, you try new [01:23:20] things.

[01:23:20] Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. You've come up with a lot of new strategies in the way you're trying to, uh, approach the damn thing. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Even though it's challenging, you're like, you know what? I'll try this. I'll try that, I'll try that. And I think that's a, that's probably an example of perseverance, showing character and Yeah.

[01:23:36] Doing the damn thing. 

[01:23:38] Mike: Yeah. It's hard to, you know, like it's, uh, it is, obviously, it's hard to focus and try to think of new things. Mm-hmm. But like you said to me, oh, your shoulder's really close to the wall. Yeah. Like, and I was like, oh, okay. The left one. Okay. Yeah. So I want, I wanted to find out why is, why is that perspective?

[01:23:54] Mm-hmm. Why is that happening, for example? 

[01:23:56] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:23:56] Mike: Based on the way I'm setting up before I jump for the, for the grab. Yeah. So I'm down trying to adjust because I know there's an important factor here. Mm-hmm. Being close to the wall, that's the shoulder like. So I'm fine tuning it, but also because I'm listening to what people saying.

[01:24:14] Mm-hmm. I'm watching other people do it. 

[01:24:16] Speaker 8: Yeah. 

[01:24:16] Mike: And I'm trying to figure out how I can, like, uh, if my physical body cannot jump five feet from the vert 

[01:24:25] Harris: mm-hmm. 

[01:24:25] Mike: But there's a way I can hack it, like, you know, jump off the wall, kick it the wall, and then land it. Yeah. That's my approach to, to doing a 60 a five foot vert.

[01:24:34] Right? Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm looking for is instead of just saying, no, I can't do it, I'm looking for my way that my body can do that. Yeah. 

[01:24:44] Eldar: In a modified way. Yeah. Modified way. 

[01:24:45] Speaker 8: Yeah. 

[01:24:46] Eldar: Without just throwing your hands up and saying like, I can't do this. Yeah. My shoes don't work, you know, my feet don't work or whatever.

[01:24:51] Yeah. 

[01:24:51] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:24:52] Eldar: I think that's, that's, that's perseverance. So what do you have, like what advice do you have for someone who's trying to persevere like Harris and the thing that they're doing? 

[01:25:01] Mike: Yeah. Like, um, and the journey that Harris is specifically on, you know, as, um, I think the most important thing is realizing that every thought is actually very important.

[01:25:13] Wow. Fuck man. And it should be shared. What the fuck? The, the more you share it, the further you get. Because we ourselves, a lot of times as a student, we're not qualified to know what's important and what's not. That's toy's camp right there. Okay. You know, because we don't know. 

[01:25:30] Toliy: Hmm. I hear you Harris. I hear you.

[01:25:32] You want some barbecue? I hear you 

[01:25:35] Harris: out. Yes you are. I'm fine. You hear what you're saying, 

[01:25:39] Mike: man. I'm saying that you may think that, oh, I don't need to share this with the guys, but, uh, you should share as much as possible because that's gonna help us to do a better job. And in turn, it's gonna help you to do a better job and what you're trying to achieve, which is trying 

[01:25:54] Eldar: live a good life.

[01:25:56] You know, you know, you know what he's trying to say when it comes to sharing, 

[01:25:59] Harris: share everything that's going on in my life. No, it's 

[01:26:00] Eldar: very one specific thing. Show your tits to him. 

[01:26:04] Mike: You sick. 

[01:26:05] Harris: Fuck.

[01:26:08] Mike: When you say, when you sharing is when you like, oh, you're battling something, and you are like, damn, I want to like smoke this vape. But instead of calling and saying, Hey, I wanna smoke this vape, you're sitting there for two hours ruminating, you know, and nonstop thinking about it. That's one example.

[01:26:25] Instead you call and say, Hey, I want this vape. Help me to like, calm me down. Talk to me. Help me understand. Remind me of the reasons why I'm doing this. Gimme the logic hat. Put it back on my head instead of being emotional. That's, it's hard. That's one example. Hard. That's advanced math. Again, that's, yeah, 

[01:26:41] Toliy: because it's like the craziest paradox is this, is that.

[01:26:45] The most important tidbits to like the, um, the teacher is the most meaningless thing to the student. Yeah. Nonetheless, 

[01:26:51] Mike: the see. Yeah. 

[01:26:53] Toliy: It's totally 

[01:26:53] Eldar: sad. The answers are in the details. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The more detail oriented you are, the more successful you probably will be. Mm-hmm. And this is true. Yeah. 

[01:27:01] Toliy: Yeah.

[01:27:02] It's like the client asking only about price. Yeah. For example. Yeah. They have one thing that's on their mind. Mm-hmm. Right. And you maybe s like a teacher of the service or like the product. Right. You already know that like, there's like 20 really important questions to go over here. Yeah. 

[01:27:17] Harris: And I, I've had those clients where I continue to ask questions.

[01:27:20] Yeah. I guess that could work, but what would the price be on that? You know, they're, they're hyper 

[01:27:25] Toliy: focused on price. The dumbest people are focused on that one thing. Right. And then they shoot themselves in the foot later because like, they didn't ask the right questions, they didn't think about the right things.

[01:27:35] They're not concerned about messaging or this, or like, they're, they're not concerned with things. Right. And that's how it always is with like the teacher student thing, is that it's difficult for the student to, to like, share everything because like, you, like, for them it's like, well, you can't, like, like this isn't important.

[01:27:51] I'm not gonna share this is gonna, this is important. But to the teacher, all those things are very important, all those little details. But I think that that's always a difference between like, the person that, that knows something and the person that doesn't like, they're the ones that, that value the details while the students like the one that's like only looking at like the end results of things, 

[01:28:11] Mike: you know?

[01:28:12] Mm-hmm.

[01:28:18] Mm. Mike, you have anything on that? 

[01:28:22] No, no. I mean, yeah, I, I, I agree with to, but yeah, I think, um, saying that maybe it plants a seed, you know, to him to know, see, because see 

[01:28:32] Eldar: like, what are we doing here? 

[01:28:33] Mike: Yeah. That's it. The thing is, we're only planting seeds and I think that's, we're planting seeds that we don't know when, you know, hopefully we 

[01:28:39] Eldar: can water, water 

[01:28:40] Mike: those seeds Yeah.

[01:28:41] Over time, and they can sprout. I think that's, that's like a, we don't have a, we are not gods and we can't predict what's gonna happen. 

[01:28:47] Speaker 8: Yeah. 

[01:28:47] Mike: To the fullest extent. 

[01:28:49] Eldar: But I think, but that's because we're not doing a good, good enough job, Mike. I think that, um, if you actually paid attention to what you're doing and what you're trying to do or trying to accomplish mm-hmm.

[01:28:57] If you measure all those things, all the inputs versus the outputs mm-hmm. I think you can predict exactly what can happen. 

[01:29:03] Mike: Yeah. I think the prediction, if you really wanted to, prediction is possible, but not like pinpoint to the day the time and everything like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying I don't think that anybody who's doing 

[01:29:12] Eldar: any real predictions would care about actual date and time when it's gonna happen.

[01:29:16] Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's 

[01:29:17] Mike: true. But I think, um, we can't predict that, but I think, you know, putting the right seeds into the, or investments into the kid, that's, that's gonna sprout one day. And I do believe that maybe one day. But not today is totally would say. But maybe one day down the line when we're with, with us or without us, whatever.

[01:29:40] Maybe next life. Maybe the next life. Yeah. Fuck. Why you gotta go there, man? Well, no, I'm 

[01:29:44] Eldar: just saying playing. You're the one who keep smoking the way you're smoking. Dude, listen. That's why it's on the list, man. I know. That's good that you put that on the list. That's 

[01:29:51] Harris: why I'm think, you know, like who would be better served as the advisor on that?

[01:29:57] Eldar: Well, listen, Tom will give you hell yeah. Joe would be more compassionate. May I know, 

[01:30:04] Harris: but who would be better fit for it? I'm able to help you. That's 

[01:30:06] Eldar: a good question. You see? Huh? I may be able to help you too, because I'm smoker even with the, even with the, some of the like questions or things that he does have like little bit insights within the moments.

[01:30:17] It just shows that like we're working with a subject that is working Yeah. Or is trying to work out because he is trying to think things through and he thinks, you know, like, yeah, these are small glimpses. Sure. But I'll take 

[01:30:28] Toliy: him. 

[01:30:29] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:30:29] Toliy: Did you guys ever hear about that? Um, and, and like, here we go. What he already knows.

[01:30:37] No, he knows. No. Have you ever heard about but may, maybe Eldar, right? Um, have you ever heard of that philosopher Ro Robert Van Vans Worth? No. You, you probably the only one that's ever read read his thing. 

[01:30:51] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:30:52] Toliy: He actually did a whole, like a thing, like a whole Socratic approach to smoking and quitting and quitting it.

[01:30:59] Really? Yeah. Don't remember this. So he wrote a paper on this Uhhuh and he actually said there was only one way Uhhuh to guarantee to quit. Okay. And this was a, like a high-end philosopher. Okay. You, you, you never heard of 

[01:31:11] Harris: him? No. But, uh, I'm, I'm intrigued, Harris. You sold me. I'm guess what it is. Let me get that.

[01:31:18] No, no die. Actually, he actually said something. No, that's pretty good actually. I'm running with Har with Harry. 

[01:31:24] It's to 

[01:31:24] die. 

[01:31:25] He 

[01:31:26] had a method. He's got a smile on his face right now. No, he had a 

[01:31:29] Toliy: method, a proven method, A proven method to guarantee to quit. To quit Smoke. Listen, did he sell us the shit? Uh, we, uh, is out.

[01:31:37] Eldar: Curiosity peaked. Mike, have you heard of this book? It's Peak, but I feel like by the smile on his face I have, it's gonna be the 

[01:31:42] Toliy: dumbest thing we ever heard. No, I love it. Him, I love to hear it now. Alright, go ahead. Yeah. What do we got? I have heard of him. So he, he had one, one even. No, because I'm, I, I thought Elder would've heard or heard about him.

[01:31:55] Listen, 

[01:31:55] Eldar: I must have forgot. 

[01:31:56] Toliy: Yeah, he into philosophy, but go ahead. But Mike's been doing it recently. I heard of it. So he said this, every time you wanna smoke, you have to do one thing and you guarantee will not wanna smoke like, like the next time. It's less and less every time. What the fuck? It's 

[01:32:14] Harris: gonna be 

[01:32:14] Toliy: something weird.

[01:32:16] Go ahead. He, he said this, and this is the Vance Worth method. He said, every time you sm you wanna smoke. You need to shove a dildo in your mouth. 

[01:32:27] Harris: He said, fuck, I knew it was coming to something like this with holy bro. Wow. When he has a smile on his face, what's, and can keep a straight face. This is, he's got something done.

[01:32:37] Say where going. I knew going, that's why in the morning his, his name was Dick. This is why in the morning. Yeah. Right. If I'm having a conversation with Toley and all of a sudden a smile starts to creep in and a little bit of a chuckle. I know he used to be there about to tell me what I look like. He's about to say something dumb, you know, trying to be funny.

[01:32:59] Eldar: See, you're reading the 

[01:32:59] Harris: man. That's good. Well, for certain things. Yeah. Listen, he had me going, no, I knew by his smile. Yeah. I said, here we go. Here we go. Yeah. Like I knew something like, 

[01:33:07] Eldar: there we go. Yeah. All right. You're becoming corny to him. Here we go. Be better. But 

[01:33:12] Harris: totally will. Secretly, when he has something on his mind, even before he says something, he'll yeah.

[01:33:17] He'll, he'll tweak a little bit. Right. You know, like, yeah. Go. He's giving it away. He's not even that good at it. He can't keep a front the face for these things. Yeah. When he comes up with a joke, like he needs to say it. Yes. And he starts laughing at it even before he says it. Yeah. 

[01:33:33] Toliy: But to it be fair, it would work.

[01:33:35] Right. But it's wrong with 

[01:33:37] Eldar: it. It probably would. 

[01:33:38] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:33:38] Eldar: Don't think about it. Should we try 

[01:33:39] Harris: it? No, we should not. If you have to 

[01:33:40] Eldar: stuff a dildo in your face every time. 

[01:33:42] Harris: Mike, I know you said you could help me with the vape. 

[01:33:46] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:33:48] Harris: You have two things at once, 

[01:33:50] Mike: well then I can, uh, you know, multitask. Multitask or remove one.

[01:33:58] Eldar: No, I think that every where, where things are is pretty good 

[01:34:01] Mike: and I also think we're all gonna be helping in all other areas. 

[01:34:04] Eldar: I agree. I think it's all tied together. Yeah. 

[01:34:05] Mike: If you can't reach me about food, you may call, they'll be like, yo, or if you can't reach me about like a, a job about smoking. Yeah. Make der be like, Hey, talk me off the 

[01:34:13] Eldar: sledge.

[01:34:13] Help me to like, well, toy's and mine are pretty, pretty tied together. I told you though, like, you know, I can help toley by having you exercise to a point of exhaustion, for example, but I have a conflict because I'm not sure if I want to do that because I want you to continue to be able to be consistent with it.

[01:34:28] I don't wanna hurt you. Right. Yeah. So it's, it's, it's a tricky balance that, uh, everything needs to be considered. 

[01:34:33] Harris: No, but they're all 

[01:34:34] Mike: connected. 

[01:34:34] Eldar: Obviously. They're all connected. Yeah. Nonetheless, 

[01:34:36] Harris: at the end of the day, we have to decide, you know, who's gonna be better for the vape? Because at the end of the day, 

[01:34:45] Mike: I think who's gonna be better for the vape?

[01:34:47] I think the more you can dedicate to understanding why you want to do it and really talking about it and like understanding the reasons that's gonna help you to don't underestimate your own power. Overcome. Yes, I 

[01:34:58] Harris: understand that. But Tom has been pushing it for a while. Yeah. But then again, Joe has been like, 

[01:35:05] Mike: the thing is Yeah.

[01:35:06] If you don't have your own reasons for wanting to do it and remind yourself every day, I have my reasons. 

[01:35:12] Harris: Like I already told you I'm coughing a lot more. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Chest pains come and go. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh, 

[01:35:21] Toliy: more prone to be gay. Yeah. What the fuck? 

[01:35:23] Harris: He said? It's a side effect though. The, there's no, I never said that you're using, man, 

[01:35:27] Eldar: would you say that you sucked on the thing more than anybody else?

[01:35:30] Oh my God. What is wrong with 

[01:35:32] Harris: you? What, 

[01:35:33] Eldar: what is wrong with me? You have, you wanna make it? Yeah. Gay. What was the only person in this? Why, why? 

[01:35:37] Toliy: Who's the only person in this room right now that sucked on something? That sucks on something repetitively every single day. And you have a lot of experience. I'm 

[01:35:46] Harris: taking a hit off the vent.

[01:35:48] Toliy: And how do you get the, 

[01:35:49] Eldar: the, uh, in your mouth? Do you open your lips? Do you stick a round thing in your mouth? Ha, 

[01:35:54] Harris: you hail it? Okay. Do, do you stick a round thing in your mouth? Not round. 

[01:35:58] Eldar: Did you have to put your lips around it? 

[01:35:59] Toliy: First off, inhaling is with your nose, man. 

[01:36:03] Harris: It's 

[01:36:03] Mike: not with your nose. Yes it is.

[01:36:05] Mm-hmm. Inhale.

[01:36:10] His nose doesn't work. His nose is actually in his mouth. 

[01:36:14] Eldar: Alright. Paris, it's your topic. What was that? We started with communication. We ended it with perseverance and showing character by staying consistent with our efforts, um, by the look, the way you look. I'm gonna skip you. 

[01:36:31] Toliy: No. 'cause I have 

[01:36:32] Eldar: Okay. You do have something.

[01:36:33] Oh, I, 

[01:36:33] Toliy: I, I, I also question this plan. Yeah. Are we like, like are we policing him? Are we on top of him? Are we not on top of him? Are we just giving him like. Uh, like, like for example, for like a sleep routine. If I have a particular sleep routine or like thing to do, am I make, am I asking him every day whether he did it or not?

[01:36:52] Or am I giving him like a plan and like, I 

[01:36:55] Harris: already answered this question to you, or, 

[01:36:57] Toliy: uh, 

[01:36:57] Harris: Al already answered this question when we had the, the first meeting where it's accountability and, uh, you know, we're gonna double check things. We're gonna look at things. Uh, that's, no, it's a good question. It's good question.

[01:37:09] We else talked about this. What, 

[01:37:10] Toliy: what kind of pressure is being applied here? 

[01:37:12] Eldar: Yeah, I think that's a very good question. Also one we already kind of talked about as well. Okay. So then if we talked about it, then you probably have some more insight on answering that question. What kind of pressure are we, uh, applying?

[01:37:28] Harris: Well, you said you're gonna make sure you're, you guys are on top of things. 

[01:37:30] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:37:31] Harris: Okay. Uh, what does that mean? Well, for Tolis, right? His is sleeping. Okay. Okay. I'm guessing the phone check. Well, wait, wait, what do you mean guessing? Uh, um, assuming assu, but, but like, I'm pretty sure Well, what then? I'm sure Okay.

[01:37:47] You want me to use my right words, keep words it? 

[01:37:48] Eldar: No, but we didn't even talk about that. So how can you be 

[01:37:50] Harris: sure of 

[01:37:51] Eldar: that? 

[01:37:51] Toliy: Yeah. Like, how do you know of, of any of this? 

[01:37:53] Harris: Well, no. Well, if you're a coach, you're gonna be on top of things. Like, listen, you know? Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. I know with totally, it's probably gonna be, you know, he's gonna check the phone, see what I'm doing at, like, see, I think that, I 

[01:38:02] Eldar: think that his paranoia level is so heightened totally.

[01:38:04] That like he's only gonna resort to the things that he knows or remembers that you've done with him before. So he is only gonna rely on those things. He's gonna gravitate towards that. Oh, okay. Oh, 

[01:38:14] Toliy: checking my phone 

[01:38:15] Eldar: or this and that, whatever, you know? Yeah. I, I 

[01:38:16] Toliy: was not planning on checking your phone that one time.

[01:38:19] Harris: Uh, I, I think it'd be a good thing, but Okay. Keep me accountable. Okay. 

[01:38:23] Eldar: Yeah, I think that, uh, look, so it's gonna be, it's gonna be, I think that What kind 

[01:38:30] Harris: of coaches are you gonna be, man? 

[01:38:32] Eldar: Uh, it's a very good question. Mm-hmm. I think that you were thinking of one picture, and you're gonna get something completely 

[01:38:39] Mike: different.

[01:38:39] Great. I'm excited. Um,

[01:38:45] okay. Mm-hmm. What was your question? That wasn't a question. 

[01:38:48] Eldar: Mm-hmm. What was that? A burp? No. Okay. 

[01:38:51] Toliy: So, can someone answer my question? Well, Harris, can you answer my question? No, he cannot. We just, we just try it. Oh, okay. So go ahead. Yeah. So I was asking like, what, what are we doing, like from that perspective?

[01:39:01] Are we, uh, 

[01:39:04] Harris: you know, he wants to know, uh, how much pressure he has to put. 

[01:39:10] Eldar: Yeah. I think that, um,

[01:39:16] I want to give like a easy one, but I know totally is a fucking pest. 

[01:39:19] Harris: He's gonna keep pest until he gets the correct thing. He wants like an elaborative thing, 

[01:39:23] Eldar: you know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm gonna give him what I was gonna give him like a, you know, 

[01:39:29] Harris: a brief, A brief one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So him, then he's gonna come.

[01:39:33] Yeah. 

[01:39:34] Eldar: Okay. I'm gonna say, um. 

[01:39:38] Mike: Be inquisitive enough to find the balance or the middle way.

[01:39:45] Here we go. Well, what does that mean? I 

[01:39:49] Eldar: know, 

[01:39:49] Harris: but I wasn't Smile's coming. All right. Speak it, 

[01:39:52] Eldar: you 

[01:39:52] Harris: know, speak your mind. I can 

[01:39:53] Eldar: elaborate a little bit on it. Right? I think that, um, questions such as how you feeling, [01:40:00] you know, versus let me see your phone. How many hours did you fucking, do You know what I mean?

[01:40:06] Mm-hmm. Like, how are you feeling? You know what I mean? You need 

[01:40:07] Harris: to observe certain things. How awake I am. You know, yours is pretty simple. Yeah. 

[01:40:12] Eldar: Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Pretty simple. Don't, don't you get it, man. Yeah. Um, yeah. Stuff like that. I think that like, you know, be inquisitive, to find out, like to really care about what the person's, uh, standing is, is, is, is where you should start, you know?

[01:40:29] Uh, accountability will happen on the backend of finding out what's going on. And I think it's more of a conversational, um, approach more than anything else, than the physical one. You know what I mean? The 

[01:40:42] Mike: accountability has to be on him. Yeah. If he's cheating, he's cheating himself almost. 

[01:40:46] Eldar: Yes. And I think totally understand that.

[01:40:47] I think totally understands that the honor system. So, 

[01:40:49] Toliy: so, so, so we're, we're he's holding himself accountable 

[01:40:53] Eldar: throughout this. No, I think that, no, I think that you are raising awareness for him to be able to hold himself accountable. Great. Does that make sense or No? 

[01:41:00] Toliy: You're raising awareness for him to hold self accountable.

[01:41:03] Somewhat. Yeah. 

[01:41:04] Eldar: Yeah. So like. You're not just throwing it at him and be accountable. No. You're trying to raise awareness for him to want to be accountable for himself. And I think that's a completely different approach. 

[01:41:15] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. 

[01:41:17] Eldar: You know what I'm saying? Empowering an individual to be self-governing rather than, um, being a robot and, uh, you know, reporting for duty every single time.

[01:41:32] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:41:33] Eldar: And I think that balance right there is a, is a hard one to come by. So look for that. 

[01:41:38] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:41:39] Eldar: If it's not clear, you can ask me. I mean, I can try to expand on it, but I, I I think we get it. 

[01:41:44] Mike: Okay. 

[01:41:45] Eldar: Mike? No, I'm good. You're good? Yeah. No questions about that, about, uh, the governing 

[01:41:52] Mike: of the the mm-hmm. 

[01:41:53] Eldar: Harris?

[01:41:54] No. Alright. Um, alright. So you, what's your final thoughts? 

[01:42:00] Harris: I'm excited for this, uh, adventure. Really? Yes. Wow. Uh, and, uh, I look forward to it. I believe you Harris. 

[01:42:11] Mike: Do you 

[01:42:11] Harris: believe him 

[01:42:13] Toliy: right now? Yes. 

[01:42:14] Harris: Uh, I look forward to it. I know this is gonna be a lot of hard work and challenges ahead. Yeah. 

[01:42:20] Eldar: Uh, 

[01:42:21] Harris: but I look forward to the future.

[01:42:23] Eldar: Sick. That's a crazy testimony. I'm excited 

[01:42:27] Harris: mm-hmm. 

[01:42:27] Eldar: For him being excited. Yeah. Thank you Harris for that testimony, Mike. 

[01:42:32] Mike: No. Yeah. I'm excited to see, uh. I see it as well. I think it's 

[01:42:37] interesting. I like his own. I like his, uh, yeah,

[01:42:45] so it's good. Interesting. Let's see where, where we go. Yeah. How we go for sure. Totally. Um,

[01:42:54] the Purple Ddo option is available. What it, well, even though you said no earlier welfare. Yeah. 

[01:43:02] Eldar: No, I don't have anything to add. Alright, cool. So, so my final thought is also Harris. I'm excited because I mean, uh, we've never done this before in this, in this manner, you know, so to me it's exciting to see where this lands because, you know, obviously we've tried helping people and we weren't successful with certain people.

[01:43:23] We were successful with some, but not all. We obviously want to have a better track record in helping people. Mm-hmm. Uh, I think this is a, a wraparound service where you can benefit a lot from each and every single teacher. Um, here in this room, if you are wishing to benefit from them, the amount of wishing that you do will dictate the amount of giving we give.

[01:43:51] You know? Um, and the truth of the matter is like, I'm optimistically excited for the journey because I think that we can, I think we have the tools in order to mold you. Um. Let's 

[01:44:07] Mike: see if your makeup is actually up for the, for the task. Mm-hmm. And what is, is this

[01:44:15] almost how I view this?

[01:44:20] We definitely have the tools to mold you. Mm-hmm. 

[01:44:23] Toliy: But it's gonna depend on what kind of material you're made out of. So you're gonna be in the hot sun and for made out of like, like a chocolate for example. You're gonna melt real quick, but if you're lick you up Yeah. But if you're, uh, if you're made out of like a better material, then you're gonna be able to withstand the sun.

[01:44:47] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:44:48] Toliy: Long enough to be molded 

[01:44:51] Mike: into a little boy. 

[01:44:52] Toliy: Mm-hmm. What the fuck? He's trying to fuck you. 

[01:44:55] Harris: That's sick, bro. 

[01:44:57] Eldar: He has been con he has been hoping, did he gets outta jail? Yes. With no, no sense. He's screwing you, man. Hard. Alright, so we're gonna call in Joe real quick and give him the brief and, uh, have his thoughts on here all Joe.

[01:45:13] Toliy: I tell Joe that we're not on the, on the right now.

[01:45:21] Joe: Hello? Hello, uncle Joey. What's up, little Harris? 

[01:45:27] Harris: Why, why you guys say it like that? Yeah. What the hell, man? 

[01:45:30] Joe: What's up son? Why, why little are 

[01:45:33] Eldar: you trying to keep him humble? What's 

[01:45:35] Joe: up little 

[01:45:35] Eldar: guy, Joe? So we just had a, what we always call a profound, um, podcast session. And you probably would agree because you listen to all of them and you probably find them pretty good.

[01:45:51] Joe: That's why I keep listening. 

[01:45:52] Eldar: I know. Thank you. And Joe's a fucking, you know, like, he's like from the industry, you know what I mean? So like he is, he's high up there. So if he's listening and we got his attention, that means we might one day get one more person to listen to the podcast. We'll get old Des.

[01:46:05] Yes. All the thems. Yes. 

[01:46:07] Joe: Alright. Joe, all I listen to all I listen to is Joe Rogan, who's the number one podcast in the country. And then Dennis Rock. So it's like, yes, you're right. Underneath that. 

[01:46:16] Eldar: Underneath that. Yeah. That's Joe. That's a fucking, that's diss because you know me. No, no. Joe got shit on us. Joe.

[01:46:23] Joe, Joe, Joe. Be honest. No, 

[01:46:25] Joe: no, no. Yeah. In subscriber. Yeah, in the terms of subscribers. Okay. Thank 

[01:46:29] Eldar: you. Thank you. 

[01:46:30] Joe: Andra And ranking, but like in genuine knowledge and then value. Yeah. Yeah. Dennis Rocks is the most valuable podcast out. You see that? 

[01:46:38] Eldar: Mm-hmm. And see that's proper communication right there, Joe.

[01:46:41] We just had a, a podcast about proper communicating, so you just properly communicated that exact thing. Gotcha. However, we also segmented. Towards a plan, which is called Harris. What is it called? Get Your Life in Order Plan. Yeah. Which is called Gi up. 

[01:46:59] Harris: Gi Up. Gi Up. It's 

[01:47:00] called GI Up. 

[01:47:01] Eldar: Yes. And part of the plan we've identified, um, for Harris, right, to get your life in order plan, um, to swallow four hot dogs a day.

[01:47:11] What the fuck? You always sick, bro. You could stick one 

[01:47:14] Joe: of them 

[01:47:14] in 

[01:47:15] Joe: a dip hole if 

[01:47:15] Harris: you're all, oh, what the fuck? Hell man. Well, why Joe Gate too, man, everybodys gay here 

[01:47:21] Eldar: today. Yeah. Alright, look. Yes. Part of the plan is for him to get his physical health in order. And there was other things that he needed to get in order, but physical health was one of them.

[01:47:30] And, uh, four things that we've identified was, uh, eating better, right? So dieting, physical activity, which is, you know, exercise, um mm-hmm. Sleeping better, which is sleeping, obviously. And then a vape, quitting vape, okay? Mm-hmm. And we wanted to do like a wraparound service, which would never have done before with our friends or whatever, where we assign each task to each individual.

[01:47:52] Mm-hmm. We've assigned, uh. Eating to Mike. Right. Okay. We assigned sleeping to Tolli, we assigned exercise to me, and we were gonna assign vaping, quitting vaping to you, however. Mm-hmm. We've identified today, we had a scuffle, and you hear it on the podcast, that Tom and, and Harris had a scuffle today about vaping, and Tom really battered him and, and you know, Paris lost his top and shit and all this other stuff.

[01:48:18] Mm-hmm. But, so Tom maybe be, would be a good candidate to help him with quitting vaping because Tom has a very big attachment towards it. Uh, instead of you. Yeah. And we thought maybe that's true. Maybe having you since you're remote. Right. Uh, to oversee the whole thing. To oversee all the plans and hold us all accountable and almost act as a board of director towards, uh, making sure that we all succeed and do the right thing by Harris.

[01:48:48] Joe: Okay. So everyone checks? I could check in with everyone. Yes. I got Mike to check in with. Totally. Yeah. I, Tommy, Tommy, I might leave, I might leave hanging every now and then. Yeah. And I'll, but, but yeah, I could get, I could definitely come in and oversee it. 

[01:49:02] Harris: Yeah. I might also need, uh, more often therapy sessions with Uncle Joey.

[01:49:06] Ooh. I 

[01:49:07] Joe: mean, I could, I could make, I could make, I could promise you once a week phone calls. Okay. All right. We can start there. That's awesome. So we could do like a weekly, a weekly cap, and if, and if you jo, run into a bind and you're like, you know, Jones in because of one of the four, uh, IESs. Mm-hmm. And you could, uh, call me as your like sponsor and be like, I don't want to, I don't wanna chime into, you know, the, the guy who's, uh, what, what do you call, what do you call each individual there that handle?

[01:49:36] They're 

[01:49:36] Eldar: coach. Well, we're coaches. We can say we can be coaches. Yeah. 

[01:49:40] Joe: So if you don't wanna directly consult with your coach, you could, you could chime in with me. 

[01:49:46] Eldar: Yeah. And Joe can be the mediator almost. Right? Because I think that he's gonna run into some bumps. There's gonna be some hard times, right.

[01:49:52] Where he might be disagreeing or having a hard time and he can vent to Joe and Joe can be the mediator. 

[01:49:57] Harris: Well, the last That's true. Yeah. The last week Joe has been a mediator. 

[01:49:59] Eldar: That's awesome. 

[01:50:00] Toliy: Wait, Joe. Do, what's it called? The, the last time we were, um, speaking, you mentioned that you did have a large enough, um, stroller for Harris to wheel him around.

[01:50:10] Oh, come on man. Come on man. What's wrong with you man? What Benny be playing in the park and he'll, he'll be pushing you back and forth and talking to you. Yeah, 

[01:50:18] Joe: it's like the, it's no big deal. Radio flyer. Yeah. 

[01:50:21] Toliy: No, but it's no big deal. 

[01:50:23] Joe: Put you in a car. I 

[01:50:24] Toliy: just pictured Joe ride riding a motorcycle and then Harris being like the um, side card.

[01:50:31] Harris: What's wrong with, 

[01:50:33] Eldar: you know what I'm talking about? Yes. It's like he put on the headphones today when, when he was fighting with Tommy. Yeah. All Joe. So look, if you are up for the role, because we're trying to do this whole wraparound service, I think that you could be instrumental when it comes to his success.

[01:50:45] So if you up for it, that'd be awesome. 

[01:50:47] Joe: Can I ask one question? Yes. What the fuck is Harris gonna do for any of us? That's just a question. Holy shit. I'm just curious. Oh, okay. There's a lot of, today, 

[01:50:56] Eldar: I'm, I'm gonna give you a sneak peek. Joe. Joe, I know. This is a very good question, right? It's, and today, earlier in the day when we were working, I was like, listen, you are a whole, you know what I mean?

[01:51:04] You're really not, uh, providing any sales and stuff like that. He's like, yo, I'm in college though, which is right. He's in college, right. However, Joe, I did get a sneak peek preview today. I. Okay, I would like to share this on air. Okay. We live today, right when we were doing a podcast in the middle of it, right in the middle of the podcast.

[01:51:23] At some point I caught him staring at my crotch. 

[01:51:26] Harris: My God, I staring 

[01:51:29] crotch. Fuck. I was staring at your fucking face, man. You was staring at my crotch Joe. Sick. Fuck footage. Listen. Yeah, yeah. We can put you're sick, man. 

[01:51:40] Listen, you all have been a little gay this week. So look, 

[01:51:45] Eldar: so look, Joe, uh, I'm not saying that this is what's in store, but I wanted to give you a little bit of sneak peek.

[01:51:51] Sick that there's some possibility there. 

[01:51:54] Harris: You're sick, man. I was staring at your face all pissed off because you were ticking me off a little bit. Yeah. Because you said I was gonna be in hell for years. Yes. 

[01:52:03] Joe: I'll, I'll let, I'll, I'll let you know. Now. I have many homosexual friends. Oh, hell no. Hell no, hell no.

[01:52:09] There's nothing wrong with that. And we love them all. And we love them all. That's right. Uh, 

[01:52:13] Harris: Joe. Uh, with respect. This, this could be the catalyst that's holding you down, Joe, with respect. Fuck you. 

[01:52:22] Joe: I love it. I'll tell you, I, I'll tell you one thing. That's the last time you're gonna say that to me. Okay? Ooh, I like that.

[01:52:29] I like that. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy it. Because that's the only time you're gonna ever get Yes. Say that. Unless I'll give you, I'll give you the, the privilege to do it if you knock out these four, you know, uh, Gillies. Well, 

[01:52:42] Harris: Joe, I did say with respect. That's right. 

[01:52:44] Eldar: You did promise 

[01:52:44] Harris: it. 

[01:52:44] Joe: That all do with respect it all due respect.

[01:52:47] Okay. Alright Joe, so now you know, 

[01:52:49] Eldar: now you know what we stand. You have anything for us? You have any blessings for us? 

[01:52:54] Joe: I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I blessed it. I, I, I accept it, but like I said, uh, there's a lot gonna be dumped into, you know, dumped into this sky and I just wanna make sure that we're gonna expect some things as well.

[01:53:09] You know, like, it can't be, it can't be, you know, one way there's a, well, there's a well, uh, Harris and when you go and try to pump water out of the, well, you can't just be the guy pumping water and taking water and never putting back into it. 

[01:53:22] Eldar: How about this, Joe? What if I gave you this little shortcut to it?

[01:53:26] If we do right by him and he ends up going into the world and making a difference or doing the right thing, is it not enough? 

[01:53:34] Joe: Well, yes, in retrospect, but you know, those guys giving back go around in their trucks and they, they're picking those people off the street. Yeah. Or addicted to drugs and like, I got this program I could put you in for free.

[01:53:46] I can sponsor you, fly you to Florida right now, put you in this program. You can, you can get your life back and know you get clean and they jump on it and they, and they go to this thing and then they just hit the street again. Because you gotta understand that when there's an incentive or a drive when they're like actually doing something that, that they can lose or they'll never get again.

[01:54:08] You know, they, they, they, it matters more to them, but when it's something that, like, whether it happens or it doesn't happen, or they take it serious, or hey, if it doesn't work, whatever, you know, it's almost like you gotta, you gotta, you gotta have some type of accountability or, or, or, or to show that, you know, what people are putting into it.

[01:54:30] They're gonna get some type of r oi, ROI on it in a sense where we're not wasting our time. You know what I mean? 

[01:54:36] Eldar: Yeah. But are we doing it for a return, anybody? Well, you know, like, I mean obviously I'd love for Harris to grow up to be a better human, but be a better person. Be a good salesman. Let's 

[01:54:47] Joe: put it this way.

[01:54:47] Yeah, I agree. But let's put it this way, Harris, instead of asking, you know, for all I, let's just say ask Harris a question, what is it that you could, you know, say to us, or, or, or, or give to us verbally or physically or whatever. That like what we're about to do is, is something that we're not gonna be wasting our time.

[01:55:08] I just wanna know what, how he feels about it. 

[01:55:12] Harris: Well, I know there's needs to be a change because I've come to the realization, Joe, that if I keep the way I'm at Joe, I'm not gonna end up surviving. 

[01:55:22] Joe: Okay. Uh, so you need, you're worried about your, your living. 

[01:55:27] Harris: Yeah, well I'm worried about my living, my health and I also know if I keep going the way I'm going, uh, my life is not going to get any better as much as I put on a show.

[01:55:38] And, you know, like, uh, my life is grand. It's not. 

[01:55:42] Joe: Alright. Well it sounds serious enough. Sounds like you're Yeah, but he didn't, 

[01:55:46] Toliy: he didn't answer your question. Yeah. I think Joe just wanted you to, to wash his cars once a week. 

[01:55:53] Joe: Well, I mean, y you know Yeah, you did give me the reason why you wanted to change, but, but Yeah, but what else is it said?

[01:55:59] I think that's, 

[01:56:00] Eldar: that's the next level boss Joe. Right? Right. Yeah. Before, before you can start giving back or, or even thinking about giving back or something, you know, you have to first have self-preservation and I think that's where the level he's at. And I think that that level alone well tells us where he's at.

[01:56:15] Joe: Well, I just want a little collateral, you know, so, so 

[01:56:17] Harris: what I, what I said during the plan, Joe was me getting me conquering these things. Yeah. Me conquering these things, right? The end result would be is I get these things in order so I can focus on improving my life. Uhhuh, I can focus on being better in the group.

[01:56:37] I can focus on being better at my job. [01:56:40] Uh, my mind would be off all the stresses I'm having. 

[01:56:46] Joe: I'll tell you this, it's like I said to you earlier. Mm-hmm. It's easier said than done. It's gonna be tough, but I, I want to treat it almost like a pawn shop. You're over here, you're gonna bring in all your things, right?

[01:56:56] We're gonna hold it, and then if you can't pay for it to, to get it, you're not getting it back. And we're gonna sell it. Meaning I'm gonna smash your, I'm gonna smash your, uh, vape into a million pieces if you basically aren't taking it serious. You understand what I'm saying? 

[01:57:11] Harris: Well, Joe, the, the whole point of here is I have to hand over my vape.

[01:57:16] Joe: Yeah. That's the collateral. I'm, I'm gonna smash into a million pieces. If, if you don't take it serious. 

[01:57:21] Harris: Well, what happens if I ask you to smash it into a million pieces anyway? 

[01:57:25] Joe: Then that's progress. That's what we're looking for. 

[01:57:29] Toliy: All right. 

[01:57:29] Eldar: We're on the same page. I told you 

[01:57:31] Toliy: Joe's a 

[01:57:31] Eldar: strict 

[01:57:31] Toliy: one. You have to give your, you have to give up your collection that you've been holding onto for 20 years of all your ADEs.

[01:57:39] Joe: That too, we'll call that res and collection 

[01:57:41] Toliy: of dildos. 

[01:57:42] Harris: What is wrong when you man 

[01:57:44] Joe: Harris, let's do, do, do one thing for each of the one, four. So one of them, right? Obviously trying to give up vape. The vape will be, you know, something we could, we could destroy. But out of the other three things, I don't know, maybe there's something you could think of, but I'm on board if I'm going a little, a little beyond where, where you were looking to, you know, to direct this guy.

[01:58:05] No, I think 

[01:58:05] Eldar: that, uh, I think that you're setting, I think that you're trying to set a, a, a bigger standard. And I like that. I like the fact that you're looking towards the future. And I think that for Harris to hear it, it's a good thing, right? He's like, look, the truth of the matter is he wants to self preserve.

[01:58:19] He wants to live longer, and he wants to not die. He also wants to feel good, and he also also wants to enjoy his life. However, right? Joe is telling you, Harris, that that's not where it ends. The truth of the matter is when you have your cup full, right, you can now give back. Mm-hmm. That cup will start overfilling overflowing.

[01:58:37] He just wants you to kind of maybe focus on what is it gonna go overflow towards, right? Can you do the right thing? Can you give back to the society? Can you give back to us potentially in the future? Um, and have a. Like a circular thing where everybody kind of wins, you know? And I, I don't think that's unfair.

[01:58:55] I think that's, it's a good thing to hear, to listen to and, uh, hopefully to look forward to. You can cut my grass every two weeks. You don't have to keep staring at my crotch on Friday. No one is staring at your fucking 

[01:59:09] Joe: crotch Man, Harris, the last thing I wanna just say is just like having a little, having a little accountability, you know, always, always, like, hold you in the in place when it, and it comes to it, it's like, you know, that'll, just for an example, if I, if you said you were hungry, right?

[01:59:25] And I'm like, all right, you are hungry and I cook you a big plate of food, and I put it in front of you, and then you eat a few bites and you're like, I don't like it. Or I'm, I'm full, I'm done. I don't want this. And then I'd have to throw it away. It's like, the gratitude isn't there because you asked for something, you know, I, I pulled, I pulled all this food out.

[01:59:43] I paid for all this food. I made it, I gave it to you. And then there's, there's no actual gratitude towards that. 'cause you didn't finish it. You didn't care to finish it. You don't see the, the ripple effect. It, it plays. Mm-hmm. When you, when you ask for something, someone gives it to you and then it's thrown out.

[02:00:01] Right. That's what I'm trying, I'm trying to make you understand that aspect. So you, you're gonna reach into a lot of people's pockets here. I just want you to understand the, the magnitude of it and have a little, you know, uh, obviously you'd be. Just accountability, you know what I mean? Like, don't let things go to waste.

[02:00:20] 'cause that's gonna be the worst part about it. 

[02:00:22] Eldar: Mm-hmm. I think that's one of those warnings that we talked about during this podcast as well, which is, is a good one, Joe. But I think Harris is right now is, is is genuinely distracted by looking at my thigh. 

[02:00:32] Harris: Yeah. First of all, no one's looking at your thigh, even though you, you, you're trying to, you're trying to force me to look at your thigh by poking the shit outta it, 

[02:00:41] Joe: you know?

[02:00:42] You know what they say? The more you deny, the more you, you know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I think Eldar 

[02:00:47] Harris: right now is trying to get some gay action 

[02:00:50] Joe: because he's been, he very defensive right now. Yes. Well, 

[02:00:52] Harris: L's been talking about Diddy for the past week. Yeah. 

[02:00:56] Joe: Paris. Lemme just say if none of this says actually true, you wouldn't even, you would let it roll right off your back, you know what I'm saying?

[02:01:02] Oh, 

[02:01:03] Eldar: alright. Joe, thank you so much for the input. We always, it's always appreciated. Uh, I think we all on board. I'm glad you on board. I knew you were be on board. See you dust too forward. We see you and dust too. 

[02:01:15] Joe: See you and dust too. Thanks Harris. Put put together the, the plan proposal. 

[02:01:19] Eldar: We are, we're, no, 

[02:01:21] Joe: let Harris draw it out, you know, put a diagram, get the, get the dry erase.

[02:01:25] Oh shit. Start, start, start going in there like, you're from that movie. Uh, how do you like that Apples? What's that movie? Good little hunting. Oh, get in there. All right, 

[02:01:33] Eldar: well, wow. I like it. Alright, well, we'll think about that. We'll keep that in mind Joe for sure. Have him also put some, put some, put some of his input in there as well.

[02:01:42] And Harris, for the record, 

[02:01:43] Toliy: how do you spell diagram? 

[02:01:46] Eldar: Is, is it gonna start with your favorite two words? DICK. What the fuck? All guys. Thank you. Alright, thank you. Thanks Uncle Joey. Thanks, Joe. You're.