178. Personal Power: Navigating Influence and Self-Awareness

How do you handle persistent family pressure without conflict?

In this episode, the hosts delve into the topic of personal power and empowerment through the lens of Harris' journey. They discuss the continuous influence Harris faces from various external sources, including family and doctors, and the challenge of maintaining personal autonomy. The dialogue covers the importance of consistent self-improvement, dealing with external pressures, and the process of developing a strong internal foundation. The conversation centers around staying true to oneself, the significance of a supportive environment, and the journey of turning self-awareness into empowerment.

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Chapters

• 0:10 Discussion on Personal Power
• 2:34 The Role of Stress and Vulnerability
• 7:21 Empowerment and Personal Responsibility
• 17:18 The Importance of Environment and Support
• 32:44 Conclusion: Learning and Humility
• 41:45 The Immovable Wall Metaphor
• 47:57 Empowerment and Self-Realization
• 54:01 Handling External Pressures
• 1:05:17 The Role of Conviction in Personal Growth
• 1:13:33 Final Thoughts on Empowerment

Transcript

[00:00:00] Eldar: On this week's episode, Harris has been impressionable today. He believes me. Yeah. Tomorrow he believes his dad. Yeah. And now he believes his doctor, but then he comes around and comes, believes me again. 

[00:00:08] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:00:08] Eldar: And he's just like a pinball. Right. When will Harris have his own power? 

[00:00:13] Toliy: I think that's like overall very rare to get actual power because like comes with responsibility and most people, like they don't know how to properly do things.

[00:00:25] Mike: The things that do service power will come naturally. Yeah. Because we'll actually be able to focus on doing things that we like and that actually Yeah. Like us back, I guess. That fill us. 

[00:00:34] Eldar: Yes. Yes. They'll like us back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we'll be empowered.

[00:00:44] All right guys. All right. Today's topic again, like every fucking week is an important one. Probably the most important one, right? And I deduced it based on having a conversation and listening to Harry speak about himself, his problems and everything else. Right. But today is relevant because a very specific situation that happened.

[00:01:04] Maybe we can get into it later, but I think the conversation should be about power. Our own power, right? Not empowerment maybe, right? But maybe our own power. 'cause we talked about empowerment last week, but our own power, and why do we surrender this power of ours all the time? We give it away to someone else.

[00:01:31] In your case, Harris has been sick for the last couple of weeks. Obviously when you get sick physically, you go to the doctor, right? And when you get to the doctor, right? Well, typically what happens, you tell 'em about your symptoms, you're not feeling so good. You want a relief. You want someone who's above your.

[00:01:52] Knowledge, grade a professional, quote, unquote, right. To tell you what's going on, to relieve some of your anxiety and maybe even to relieve some of your pain. Right. And we quickly perk up our ears, become very focused and attentive and say, I'll do anything. I'll even suck your dick. 

[00:02:13] Harris: No. Whoa. That's going a little too far, man.

[00:02:15] Far. I I What you be saying to your doctor, bro? Yeah, I some weird shit. 

[00:02:19] Eldar: I'm saying, you told me that your doctor got inflammation in his pants. What is wrong with me? What? 

[00:02:24] Harris: You said My doctor had inflammation in his pants. Right? 

[00:02:27] Eldar: All 

[00:02:27] Harris: right. I don't know how you know about doctors out there 

[00:02:30] Eldar: that have inflammation in their pants.

[00:02:31] Maybe not yours, but some do. Are 

[00:02:32] Harris: you speaking from experience? 

[00:02:34] Eldar: No. So, so what I'm trying to get to is the fact that a lot of times when we are compromised, right, we're trying to seek what answers, knowledge, help, and. In turn, a lot of the times I think we give away some of our power, some of our own knowledge, some of our own truth and stuff like that to someone else.

[00:03:00] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:03:00] Eldar: In this case, right. He came, he told him, I have these chest pains, checked my heart. Mm-hmm. He checked his heart. There's nothing physically wrong with him. Right. Yeah. And a lot of times when there's nothing physically wrong with us, there's no bacteria, there's no fucking, uh, you know, I don't know, broken bone.

[00:03:19] Yeah. Something that's like physically can be tracked to. Right. The doctor will say, what? Need to relax, it's probably stress. Mm-hmm. Because they're well aware that a lot of our symptoms Right. Come from this invisible enemy that we have stress. Right. And then the individual who, let's just say a doctor who specializes in what physical ailments 

[00:03:45] Harris: mm-hmm.

[00:03:46] Eldar: Becomes a psychiatrist. Or a psychologist. Mm-hmm. Or counselor. Yeah. But he might not necessarily Right. Be qualified for Yeah. Or maybe a financial advisor. 

[00:04:00] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:04:01] Eldar: Next thing you know, because your ears are perked up, you are vulnerable, you start listening, you start taking that in. Mm-hmm. And now your whole world is upside down.

[00:04:14] Tell us about your experience, Harris. What happened? What with the doctor? Yeah. The thing we just went over. Yeah. Not the inflammation part. What, what is wrong with you man? Okay. How you relieve this inflammation. What was wrong with you? Okay. How did you relieve your own inflammation in your, of the mind?

[00:04:29] Or did you, 

[00:04:30] Harris: what has it orally early? What was wrong with you? Mm-hmm. So I was feeling chest pain. I went to the doctor. Okay. And had him run the whole EKG shit. Came back clear. He came back in and we started talking and he goes, so we now know it's stress related. He goes, so let's talk about what's going on.

[00:04:51] And I started telling him about, you know, some of the stuff that stresses me out. And he said, uh, one of the most big impact is for you, I feel is the money problem you have. I said, okay. And he goes, so what you're gonna need to do is either get another job and leave your job. Mm-hmm. Or start making more money.

[00:05:10] And then he goes, if you don't, down the road mm-hmm. The chest pain is gonna eventually lead to health problems. Mm-hmm. With the heart. Yeah. Because that's what stress does. Yeah. Stress will then lead to heart attacks if you don't get it under control. All right. And 

[00:05:27] Eldar: what was your reaction to it all? Well, I 

[00:05:29] Harris: went into basically a paranoid anxiety state.

[00:05:34] Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:34] How did the doctor deduce that you had a. Financial problems that was causing your stress? Well, 

[00:05:39] Harris: he was asking me, what's some of the stuff you're stressing about? I said, you know, normal stuff, money, you know, stuff like this. Mm-hmm. He goes, what about money? I said, well, you know, I'm a tiny, I'm a little bit into debt and all this other stuff.

[00:05:50] Mm-hmm. And he started going into shit and, you know, we started talking and this is what he reduced. 

[00:05:55] Toliy: How much, uh, what would you pay out there for video and sound of the doctor visit? I'll give 

[00:06:00] Eldar: a thou I'll, I'll, I'll close this credit card though. 

[00:06:02] Yeah. 

[00:06:03] Eldar: What's wrong with you, man? Wow. I 

[00:06:05] was gonna add a thousand to that.

[00:06:06] Yeah. Nice. Not bad. If you ask the doctor, we'll clear it. That's wrong with you. Ask him for the footage for not inflammation relief. There's no footage. Take that part out. There's no footage. 

[00:06:16] Eldar: It's Can we reenact it? No. Wayne, what? Mike, you wanna dress up as a doctor? I, what's wrong with you man? You can what with you bro?

[00:06:24] And you have inflammation.

[00:06:29] What? He's got ostrich balls. Imagine what you could do with those things. You know what I mean? You could, you could pull one just with one hand and then the other with the other. He's a six. Oh 

[00:06:39] bitch man. 

[00:06:40] Eldar: What do you want 

[00:06:40] to start first? Relieving of the inflammation or the Yeah. Your stuff of the financial, 

[00:06:45] Harris: but the anxiety took over Uhhuh so much so that I started freaking out.

[00:06:49] Okay. Coming to work the next day. Uh, and basically go ape shit. That's right. Uh, Uhhuh. I let it consume me. Mm-hmm. And it ended up coming out that way. 

[00:07:03] Eldar: Yeah. See, and I think that that whole process that transpired within a couple of days, let's just say obviously maybe it was a buildup because you were also sick and stuff.

[00:07:11] Right. So that didn't help, but that buildup right, in those couple of days resulted in what blow up, uh, yeah. You blew up again. Right. And you started throwing a fit, despite the fact that you have a team around you, you have these opportunities, um Right. But you're not empowered enough to be able to say, you know what, doc, I hear you, but I don't hear you.

[00:07:36] Yeah. 

[00:07:36] Eldar: But at that moment, he needed to hear him. Right. 

[00:07:38] Well, I think also, I think what's playing in the background is both the doctor mm-hmm. And, uh, Harris are both not qualified. Mm-hmm. Obviously. Yeah. What do you 

[00:07:49] Harris: mean the doctor's not qualified? 

[00:07:50] Well, he is an idiot. 

[00:07:52] Harris: He's got a degree, man. 

[00:07:53] Uh, when he, when you told him you had, uh, financial problems, did you tell him that you work half the year on and half the year off because of your sickness?

[00:08:00] Yeah. Brought up, I 

[00:08:00] Harris: actually did brought up that I was sick throughout the year, like six hours. Yeah. So how, and he goes, okay, I'm gonna stop you there. He goes, but is it like cold? I said, yeah, I had cold and I had the flu that one time. 'cause I'm gonna stop you. There he goes. I have a lot of patients that come in one year and they've been sick many times throughout the year and the next year they're not sick at all.

[00:08:22] Some years you get sick a lot, some years you don't. 

[00:08:25] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:26] Harris: He goes, it's a phenomenon. 

[00:08:28] Toliy: Yeah. What, does that have anything to do with what we're talking about? 

[00:08:30] Harris: Well, he knows I miss a lot of work, 

[00:08:33] Toliy: but like, like you don't give him any kind of background. You don't tell him that you're like. A dumb ass that you're a numb nuts.

[00:08:39] You don't tell him that. You just sit around. Your health condition is really bad that you smoke, you overeat, you don't, uh, exercise, get good sleep. You don't exercise. You don't see sunlight. Like did you tell him that? I already 

[00:08:49] Harris: told him I did smoke 

[00:08:51] for all those years. Yeah, but the thing is you are, the way people tell their story is usually not accurate because he has it 

[00:08:56] Harris: in the records.

[00:08:57] Records. 

[00:08:58] Harris: He just found out I quit. Mm-hmm. He said you were a smoker. 

[00:09:03] Eldar: You know, you're a smoker. How did he find out? Did he quit? Did that you quit 

[00:09:06] Harris: because I told him, 

[00:09:08] how do you know it wasn't 10 years of smoking that's causing you str uh, chest pains. And it was just stress because he checked the heart and 

[00:09:15] Harris: the lungs, 

[00:09:16] the finances, stress.

[00:09:17] That just started about a week ago. He checked the heart in the lungs. Oh, he checked the lungs. How? You listen to them? Yes. Oh, okay. That's 

[00:09:25] Harris: what a checkup is, Mike. 

[00:09:27] Yeah, I don't know. I'm not a doctor, man. That's why I'm asking the question. And when was the last time you went to the checkup? Man, I 

[00:09:31] Eldar: don't go to the doctor.

[00:09:31] So, okay. So again, so you guys, his rebuttal was he's a professional. 

[00:09:34] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. But Al Al also, one thing I wanted to add, you, you said that, um, like when someone's like a, not not empowered or, or they're vulnerable. 

[00:09:45] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:09:46] Toliy: Right. Like someone, like a doctor could, could do this. But I would say that like, like I agree with that with a lot of people, but in Harris's case, like I think he's permanently v Vulnerable.

[00:09:56] Vulnerable. Yeah. I would probably agree with that as well. 'cause like anyone at any point could tell him anything. Yeah. And they put him on like this. Oh, put him on. Correct. Yeah. So like, because he doesn't have any kind of base or like backbone faculty stand his own faculty. Yeah. Like whoever, like, like that's why his dad can bother him the way it can bother him.

[00:10:13] That's why his doc, the doctor can, yeah, he is a pinball. 

[00:10:16] Eldar: Yeah, he's a pinball. You know, today Mike can bother him today. Tomorrow you can bother him. Mike can bother him. His dad, his mom, whoever. And he's just bouncing back and forth off the thing. So, so what's happening is where we're talking about the power, right?

[00:10:27] Your own power, your own ability to reason, to deduce the truth, find the truth, and stick by it. You know? 

[00:10:37] Yeah. What then what you're describing is people don't give away their power, it's just they don't have their own power. 

[00:10:43] Eldar: Yeah. Probably, probably some of it is that, but the thing is like, um, I would've said that he had something going right, or at least the beginning stages of something, right?

[00:10:54] Yeah. A plan of the gi up, get your health in order plan for Harris, right. Where it's like, sure. It's in early stages, right? But it's something, yeah. It's a pretty elaborate thing that we came up with. That we discuss many times during our meetings. Right? 

[00:11:07] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. But, but it's a no. Like, um, like, like I think a lot of people can follow different types of, you know, like plans or like, stuff like that.

[00:11:19] But I think that if there's at any point from any kind of like direction of like, importance, if there's any kind of pressure applied, any kind of plan like that is thrown out the window. 

[00:11:29] Eldar: It's not thrown out the window. Well, that, that's the issue. 

[00:11:31] Toliy: I mean, I think that's No, it is at, at that time. It's thrown out the window.

[00:11:36] Harris: It's still in place, man, 

[00:11:38] Toliy: I'm saying at that time. 

[00:11:39] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:11:40] Toliy: It's thrown out the window. That plan course at that point was dead. No, I was 

[00:11:43] Harris: already, I was still on the plan. I wasn't, I told you right then and there, I didn't wanna give up the plan. Totally. Trying to make a point. I understand where he is 

[00:11:51] Eldar: coming 

[00:11:51] Harris: from.

[00:11:51] Yeah. 

[00:11:51] Toliy: Like you, you were about to leave here, the plan was dead. 

[00:11:53] Eldar: Yeah. You know? Um, so, so the thing is, what we're saying is that right? I. Um, your power, your personal power, right? It's fluid. It goes anywhere, right? Mm-hmm. One day it's here. One day it's there. One day it's there. It's never kind of set, and you can, you never really feel, um, truly empowered to really have your own kind of direction and your own focus.

[00:12:18] Mm-hmm. And that's a problem. Mm-hmm. I think that's a problem for many people. You know what I mean? This is a very interesting case because obviously I know that, you know, a doctor who's, who has authority. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah. Has that, has that influence, you know what I mean? And I've also been there where it's like, I'm vulnerable, whatever, and I'm going through something, obviously I need answers.

[00:12:37] Mm-hmm. Somebody gotta gimme answers. I'm gonna listen and I'm gonna be more prone to taking advice and be in influenced by certain things. Mm-hmm. Right? But this thing applies to everything. Right. Your dad, for example. Right. Watching the news. Yep. Right. Or Catherine watching social media. Mm-hmm. Right. Uh, Tony's dad watching the news and catastrophizing everything.

[00:12:58] Yeah. You know what I mean? I think a lot of times what's happening is that we're like a pinball, and the society kind of dictates where our emotions are gonna go. Yeah. Here, here, here's this problem. Boom. Next thing you know, they're, they're sucking us dry because now we're stressing about this problem.

[00:13:14] Boom. There's another thing, there's another thing. There's another thing. Mm-hmm. We never have kind of a ground that we can stand on or we can always return to in order to say, you know what, I don't give a fuck what's going on. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. It's out there. 

[00:13:26] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:13:27] Eldar: I know I need to, what I need to do, I need to focus on myself.

[00:13:30] I need to solve my problems. Right. And I need to keep pushing forward. You know?

[00:13:38] Why is it such a big problem, Harris? I dunno. Think about it. You, you're, you are suffering from it, and many other people out there are suffering from this. 

[00:13:50] Harris: Well, I think we had a little bit of a conversation on our personal mm-hmm. Messaging. 

[00:13:54] Eldar: Okay. First gust of wind, everything falls. All the dominoes fall into negative, negative place.

[00:14:01] I don't 

[00:14:02] Harris: say first gust of wind. 

[00:14:03] Eldar: Okay. Okay. Second or third? No, 

[00:14:04] Toliy: it's a gust of wind. Think of it. One person that like you don't even know, right? Could just like destroy everything that we've ever built and we have like an intimate daily relationship. 

[00:14:19] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:14:21] Toliy: And you have that with multiple people. 

[00:14:24] Eldar: You shaved my armpits the other day.

[00:14:25] Uh, 

[00:14:25] Harris: no one never shaved your armpits, man. That'd be weird, man. No, we didn't do that. No, you're fine. 

[00:14:30] Eldar: What intimate relationship was he talking about then without bringing that up? Okay. 

[00:14:34] Harris: What's wrong with you man? He's doing weird stuff, man. He had weird stuff in his office since you were 12. 1 1, 1 old 

[00:14:40] Toliy: guy.

[00:14:40] One old doctor comes in, tells you common sense. Hey, if you're gonna keep stressing your. Probably gonna have a heart attack or like, you know. Yeah. Some, something could, could happen. Yeah. Well, duh. Yeah. Right. 

[00:14:52] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:14:53] Toliy: You know, and then, and, and after he tells you that to, all of a sudden now you need to make more, more money.

[00:15:00] All of a sudden you need to do all these things. But like, not, not only do you listen to him, but you like, wipe out your whole, like, accountability of like every, like, everything that, like you're responsible for in the process of getting you to where you were at that moment.

[00:15:21] You completely try, try to, like, like you, you go into the camp of people that like, you're, you're like, like you have a misfortune, you know, that, that like, you didn't get yourself there, like you didn't make those choices. You, you, you like choose to do less. Right. Like those things, these are the cards 

[00:15:39] Eldar: that I'm dealt.

[00:15:40] Toliy: Yeah. Like, like that. Like, you, you act like you're like a, like a victim. You know, at that moment, um, versus like taking responsibility for like where you've arrived and like that, that's part of what I was saying before. Like, if you don't know how you got here or like what happened, I guarantee you this is gonna happen again.

[00:16:01] That's gonna happen very soon. 

[00:16:03] Eldar: Guarantee. So, so the plan of the gi up, whose choice was this? It's mine. You came to us and said, guys, I, I need to something. I never said the gi up was a mistake. No, no, no, no, no. We, we know that. Forget about it. The, we're Harris right now, despite the fact that you might think that we're like bashing you or whatever.

[00:16:19] Mm-hmm. Yes. It's your example is very, you know, relevant here. So don't take it personal uhhuh. I am trying, we are trying to tap into your reasonable mind right now. Reason, right? So you can de do certain things and really understand what we're trying to say. We're trying to say that this phenomenon happens all the time to everyone.

[00:16:37] All the time, and we're trying to help you [00:16:40] prevent this from happening again. And how are we doing it? By trying to empower you in different areas. You, yourself came to us first trying to get a job here, right? Train me guys. I would like to learn some skills. I'd like to learn how to make money. Right? Then realize it's, you're not ready for that, right?

[00:16:58] Why you keep getting sick, your health is not in order. So you said, guys, I need help with my physical, you know, I need to change my whole life. I said, okay, no problem. We sat down and now we're trying to empower you there. Right? You have a whole team around you. You have five, five people that are trying to hold you up even more.

[00:17:15] If you start counting the, the people that work here, right? Mm-hmm. In different areas trying to empower you in order to get where to the place that you are trying to go. Mm-hmm. You wanna do this, you wanna lose the weight, you wanna stop smoking, you want to be healthy, you want to be stronger. These are all the things that we're talked about, right?

[00:17:35] Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Is this the path? Not right? No, it is right. It is right? Mm-hmm. Have we done it long enough for us to say, you know what, we need to start changing direction towards something else. No. No. Should we continue the course? Yeah. Yeah. We think so. I think that you are on the right path.

[00:17:56] You understand? I think we are. You understand? Mm-hmm. I think we are. You are on the right path with this plan. Do you think so? Yeah, Mike. Yep. Yeah. But then we have this outside source right? Force who's gonna come in here and say, Hey, whatever these guys are doing, this is all bullshit. But we had this influence before.

[00:18:14] Mm-hmm. With your brother. Mm-hmm. We had your influence with your mom. We continuously to have this influence with the dad. Now we have the doctor. Right. Crispy even said certain comments before. Right. Everyone is constantly shooting stuff at an individual who's a pinball. 

[00:18:30] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:18:31] Eldar: And you don't ever stand on your own two feet.

[00:18:35] Toliy: But I have a question here. 

[00:18:36] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:18:38] Toliy: I'm gonna apologize in advance. 

[00:18:40] Eldar: Mm-hmm.

[00:18:43] Can you stop jerking the mic? Yeah. Thank you. 

[00:18:45] Toliy: Um,

[00:18:49] is what's going on? Like, are the people, um, influencing somebody by like, like their own thoughts? Or are those people bringing out the true thoughts of that person? That's a very good question. Uh, 

[00:19:05] Eldar: that's a very good question, and I think that, I'm gonna have to say that, I'm gonna have to say that those individuals are doing something that's unethical to that individual.

[00:19:19] No, sure, sure. So what I'm saying is that they're influencing them. Yeah. Without knowing the repercussions, what's actually behind it. 

[00:19:26] Toliy: Yes. But I'm saying that, but, but I think they are bringing out. Um, their own, the, the own thoughts of that individual that are like a little bit blurry? No. 

[00:19:36] Eldar: So I'm not sure if they're bringing out, I think they're confirming some of the things that they've thought before.

[00:19:41] Toliy: That individual thought. 

[00:19:42] Eldar: Yeah. Potentially. Yes. Yeah. Correct. It's confirmation bias. Yeah. Right. A lot of times, what do we do when we get sick? We go online. Like, yo, tell me what I'm going through these symptoms. And next thing you know, like, oh shit, this is what I'm going through. 

[00:19:56] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:19:56] Eldar: You know what I mean?

[00:19:57] It's confirmation bias. Hundred percent we're exactly. For the, for the stuff. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, this is it. And then we start suffering from Yeah. From that. Yeah. So we're constantly giving away our power mm-hmm. To the internet, to the social media. Our dads, our moms doctors, quote unquote. Right?

[00:20:12] Mm-hmm. How do we find our own power? That's how, that's how, that's exactly how. You realize that when he farted, his butthole went this big, oh man, you could fist his ass right now if you really want it. You sick. What? Come 

[00:20:25] here. I'm trying the fuck. 

[00:20:29] Eldar: You understand? Yeah. Do you really understand? No. Do, does everybody else understand?

[00:20:38] Like, we're constantly giving. That's the power. That's, that, that's the job of 

[00:20:41] a lot of people, uh, is to poke in the areas that you already 

[00:20:45] Eldar: have holes, you see? And like, and we're not the ones who's putting him on onto the, the Gilead plan. We're not. Right. We're just trying to Yeah. But those are like, 

[00:20:54] Toliy: like those to me is like you coming up for fresh air.

[00:20:58] Like, like, you know, like these, these people are like deep sea divers, you know? Mm-hmm. And they just temporarily come up for a little bit for like fresh air and they get a bright idea. Yeah. An epiphany I wanna do. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get healthy. What? But they, yeah. What, what they really want, for example, is to get money.

[00:21:15] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:21:17] Toliy: And then, and then what happens is that hope that, that 

[00:21:19] Eldar: the health is, is there too. Yeah, 

[00:21:22] Toliy: yeah, yeah, yeah. Potentially, right? Mm-hmm. 

[00:21:25] Um, yeah. But, but, but ultimately at the core of the people of who we all are, even if it's not, even if it's moment or momentarily or very rare at the core, we are all the same.

[00:21:38] We all want the same thing. No. Um, well, 

[00:21:45] Eldar: I'm not, I think it's hard to say because like, it's hard to say because we're so layered by nonsense money. Yeah. No, no. That's why I said at the core, it doesn't everybody 

[00:21:51] want to be healthy? No. At the core, 

[00:21:53] Eldar: but that's like the core molecule. And I'm a molecule. Okay, sure.

[00:21:55] Yeah. 

[00:21:56] Toliy: Yeah. That like, you wanna, that's an imagin imaginary place, you know? Yeah. Like, like it's, it's like, it's usually not the reality of where those people are for sure. Probably ever going to be. But how 

[00:22:07] do people get 

[00:22:08] Eldar: from one place to another? Through understanding those layers slowly to peel away themselves in order to get to the like, okay, who really am I?

[00:22:15] Mm-hmm. Who is Harris? Yeah. What does Harris actually want? Yeah. And needs. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like the doctor said, uh, you need another job, buddy. Yeah. Well, Harris, I thought he was a professional who get another job. Right. The truth of the matter is he's not gonna take his advice anyway. Mm-hmm. But he got influenced Yeah.

[00:22:37] For that moment. Well, because it's If we didn't push, if we didn't push Right. If we didn't challenge, right? Mm-hmm. He came in here and stuck to that brainwash idea. He's gonna, I I can paint this out. Like I, it's very easy. Yeah. He'll slowly stop talking. He will slowly start to distance himself. He will start looking for another job and he'll leave.

[00:23:00] That's how this works. Mm-hmm. Because that will that doubt, that stuff will grow. Yeah. And spread. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. But the truth of the matter is that stuff is not stronger than this. That's why you can't leave. 

[00:23:15] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:23:16] Eldar: He understands at a core, when we have those moments like we did yesterday, oh, that's what I'm talking about.

[00:23:21] Those moments at that core. At the core, when I said, what whatcha gonna do? Yeah. Let's go push. Come to shove the shit, hit the fan. 

[00:23:27] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:23:27] Eldar: Let's see what you got. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He doesn't get up and leave and says, fuck you Elda, fuck you guys. Yeah. You guys will fucking suck. Okay. You know what I mean?

[00:23:36] Yeah. For sure. He doesn't do it. Yeah. He can. Yeah. He has the freedom of of will and choice. He don't do it. Yeah. Well, because I, I don't think that in that specific moment mm-hmm. The individual can do that. It's impossible because no one, no one does wrong. 

[00:23:51] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:23:53] I agree. And that's, that's the core I'm talking about.

[00:23:55] At the end of the day, he knows, he knows that that guy's, the doctor is gonna see him once every five years and maybe give him some advice that, but the truth is. No, 

[00:24:07] Harris: not out. Not every one of us goes to the doctor every five years, but 

[00:24:11] yeah. You know. Sorry. How long are you gonna, how long are you gonna see him?

[00:24:14] Oh, you look very healthy right now. Yeah. What do you mean? No, I'm just, you look great. You've been going to the doctor all the time. Yeah. Good for you. Every year 

[00:24:21] Harris: now it's 

[00:24:21] Toliy: showing, it's showing how your chest pains magically just went away right after the visit. I didn't. Oh, you're still having them Occasionally.

[00:24:30] Yeah. I could see you're in a real bad place occasionally. Yeah. He's having one right now at night most of 

[00:24:34] Harris: the time. Huh? At night, most of the time. 

[00:24:36] Toliy: Okay. While while you're sleeping or pumping the demon? I'm lying 

[00:24:39] Harris: down. You pumping it every time I'm podcast, man. You gotta talk about me pumping it. Pumping it.

[00:24:46] Toliy: Well, you might have chest pain when your heart rate goes up. That, yeah. Yeah. 

[00:24:51] Harris: And then it's not what I'm pumping it, but thank you. 

[00:24:54] Eldar: When you're watching Maggie Sue, Maggie Sue, when you get really excited, right? You go, oh, you start shaking and shit. 

[00:25:02] Harris: Who the fuck is Maggie Sue?

[00:25:06] Yeah. I don't know who the fuck is Maggie Sue? I don't know. He just made it up. Yeah. I think Tony's been watching a weird porn star or some shit. Mm-hmm. You like blondes, right? Big tits. 

[00:25:18] Eldar: Has blonde. Is blonde and has big tits. No, for sure. And she works on a farm. Yeah. See? And she has boots, but nothing else.

[00:25:24] What the hell? Nothing else. 

[00:25:26] Harris: This is the 

[00:25:27] Eldar: shit 

[00:25:27] Harris: you watch. 

[00:25:28] Eldar: Yeah. Shirt 

[00:25:28] Harris: tied up 

[00:25:31] Eldar: and occasionally she sits on that thing. 

[00:25:36] Harris: Alright, 

[00:25:36] Eldar: let's 

[00:25:37] get 

[00:25:37] Harris: back to it. Let's get back to it, man. This went way South. Power. Yeah. 

[00:25:44] Those moments, you know, we're ready to throw everything away. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But like, um, the moment, those moments, like, uh,

[00:25:55] the, the person, like, um, it's hard. I don't know if it's possible to be in the moment where you can like, uh, especially in the initial stages where you can be like, yeah, that's, it is the way I'm gonna live. I'm gonna always like, be a thinker or always like, you know, pay attention. You are gonna go in between that world, especially in the beginning stages.

[00:26:13] So even though, like what you, what you guys were, uh, what you said is like, he's like, uh, those moments happen very rarely. The test is to see if he's actually gonna stick through it. Like, and this is part of it and we kind of, 

[00:26:28] Toliy: no, but the majority of him is in the, is in the other world. Yeah. Sure, sure. I agree.

[00:26:33] Yeah. 

[00:26:34] Yeah. 

[00:26:34] Toliy: Like 

[00:26:34] when he, in his own, but like a, in his own thoughts, is that a, has to be forever everything? Or does it have to be that way, or, well, it might be that way. No, 

[00:26:41] Eldar: it's up to a point. Yeah. It could 

[00:26:43] be forever. It could be forever. We don't know. Right? We don't know. So what's our, like is there like an obligation that something that we supposed to do to like, uh, well, 

[00:26:51] Eldar: no, the thing is the, here's the problem, right?

[00:26:52] The problem is that when he comes up for air, like totally describes, right? Yeah. He says, Hey guys, I need the raft. Help me. Yeah. And we're like, here, boom. Throw it. Yeah. You know what I mean? We're here with the Gilead plan now, right? Yeah. And then he's like, ah, I kind of feel kind of good five minutes on this raft.

[00:27:08] I got a little bit of energy. I go back down to fucking Yeah. To find the shrimp that he's looking for. Yeah. You know what I mean? 

[00:27:13] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:27:14] Eldar: And then we're like, we're stuck like, wait, wait, wait. What? I thought he wanted to come back on the boat. 

[00:27:17] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:27:18] Eldar: We're about to tug him. Yeah. He's like, I'll be back. You know, and this is what's happening, right?

[00:27:22] It's a constant up and down, right? Mm-hmm. We're here, Hey, we're helping him out. We're trying to do the right thing. Mm-hmm. We're doing this because he asked us to do this. Yeah. Right. We all agreed that this is a good thing. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's very early days, but nonetheless, he lost some weight. 

[00:27:36] Mike: Yeah.

[00:27:37] Eldar: Right. He is walking every day. He's eating better. Right? Yeah. Uh, and I think over time he's gonna be winning. 

[00:27:43] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:27:43] Eldar: You know what I mean? Like Yeah. Like we said, like, let's do this for four months, evaluate, see, see what happens. You know what I mean? I think in four months he's gonna be a different person.

[00:27:50] Yeah. You know? But until he becomes that different person, right. These, these flare ups or these coming up for air and going back down is like, it's inevitable. 

[00:28:01] I That's what I'm saying. It is inevitable. 

[00:28:02] Toliy: Yeah. Like the, uh, the, the general programming is that like, not, not that we're all some like, um, like, um, righteous, like, uh, like, like livers of life, right.

[00:28:17] But. Um, like more or less, like, we know better than like, like, like about like, um, like not, not better, but like we, we may understand some like common sense things that we've applied to ourselves that like, serve us. Right. And, um, like for example for Harris, like his regular programming or like when he's alone Yeah.

[00:28:41] When he's in his own thoughts when he is just doing his own 

[00:28:43] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:43] Toliy: Thing. His habitual responses. Like for him, like for example, like money and like things and stuff like that are much more important Yeah. Than like the good principles that mm-hmm. You know, we try to like 

[00:28:55] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:56] Toliy: Show him or teach him or, or like that.

[00:28:58] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:58] Toliy: Like I almost view that like our, like our interaction is to is to, is to kind of be like that, like righteous wall. To like, to challenge Yeah. Him back. Right. You know, um, yeah. So, and, and, and, and then it's his choice whether he wants to like, you know, he's for the challenge or not. I agree. But the funny thing is that like where, where, where conflict happens mm-hmm.

[00:29:21] Right? Is when, um, like what you actually want versus what you've been saying. You want me? 

[00:29:29] Eldar: Yeah. That's when the conflict happens. That's a contradiction. Mm-hmm. 

[00:29:32] Toliy: You know, because it's like if he's raising his hand to like, say like, Hey, I wanna focus on like health and getting healthy and feeling good, and like learning and like different things like that.

[00:29:42] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:29:42] Toliy: But the internal person of him wants like to get rich quick. 

[00:29:46] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:29:47] Toliy: For example. 

[00:29:47] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:29:49] Toliy: There's a conflict there. Yeah. And when those actually surface mm-hmm. Out vocally. Right. Which was what, what was happening the other day. 

[00:29:58] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:29:58] Toliy: Like the, the, the person who wants to you, you know, who wants to change his financial positioning like this.

[00:30:05] Right. Or like get something that he doesn't deserve or is capable of right now. Yeah. Right. Versus a person who's like saying, I'm on the long-term, like slow and steady path, for example. When that clashes, then it's like, well, which one is it? And to me, like that day was like, like, like when those flareups happen, that that's kind of where, where you make those choices.

[00:30:27] Like which one are you? 

[00:30:28] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:30:29] Toliy: You know, are you the, uh, like are you, um, like, are you, um, trying to get rich quick? Mm-hmm. Or like, like, you know, this financial thing is really important to you. 

[00:30:38] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:30:39] Toliy: Or are you in a or, or are you in a slow and steady plan? 

[00:30:42] Eldar: How, um, how do you, and, and just to, just for the, just to, you know, for the record, you can get rich quick here too.

[00:30:49] Yeah. You just have to apply yourself. Oh, yeah, yeah. Relatively quick, right? Yeah. Where like, you can, if you really want to grind, if you are a grinder. Mm-hmm. Right. Sales is the path where you can do well. 

[00:31:00] Mike: Yeah, 

[00:31:01] Eldar: of course. You know what I'm saying? This is the path. 

[00:31:03] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:31:04] Eldar: You know, unless you show me something else.

[00:31:05] And then I'm like, okay. Like if you really want to go and do something else, yeah. You are gonna make more money than here then. Okay. Yeah. Show me the difference. Right? Mm-hmm. But it's not there. 

[00:31:17] Yeah. No, it's not. Oh, oh, my, my, my question was like, um, everybody starts whatever, right? Whatever. They're starting, let's say, you know, like the self-development journey or any journey in life, everybody starts from a different base, right?

[00:31:33] Yeah. You know, so like, you had one base, you had one base, I had one base. He has one base. Everybody in the world has their own base. Mm-hmm. It's, I would, I don't know if anybody's is the same. Mm-hmm. Like for, 'cause there's not just one board. It's millions of different boards. Yeah. Yeah. You know, he has common sense.

[00:31:48] Probably like a zero, solid zero. Oh. Say like that. Oh, sorry. Like under five. Oh, come on. No, I'm just making a joke, man. 10. So some, some people maybe have more common sense. Mm-hmm. Some people have less. Then there's other things as well, like other things that are important I guess, as a base. So I think for him, he's gonna be faced with more challenges because his base is different than somebody else's who maybe came from a different upbringing, different opportunities, different other circumstances.

[00:32:22] That kind of affected where he started his li his starting his journey. So for sure he's not gonna become like a model student, uh, right off the bat. It, I mean, it's, is it possible, I guess, yeah, maybe. But is it more likely that he's gonna have a more challenging 

[00:32:37] Toliy: journey? But, but like in comparison to what?

[00:32:40] To somebody else? 

[00:32:44] Toliy: Yeah. But he also like, yeah, but also depends like, he's having like a crazy wraparound service that like no one else ever had.

[00:32:53] Eldar: Yeah. I, I think that, I think that regardless of who, who's, uh, who's on which kind of base and stuff, the environment now at, at this point plays a huge role in shaping what's gonna come out. Yeah. Right. Because we are here, if we are vigilant enough for Harris Yeah. To stand on what Harris actually needs and wants internally, like at what you said at, at a deepest level.

[00:33:16] Mm-hmm. Right. We, uh, reflect that [00:33:20] as much as possible at all times. Sure. Right. If he was in a different job right now, get making more money. Right. Yeah. He can potentially work for the next 10 years, making the money that he wants. 

[00:33:29] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:33:30] Eldar: But being still a piece of shit, not a nice guy. Yeah. Just to find out in 10 years, they're like, I'm not happy.

[00:33:35] Yeah, of course. Like, sure, I'm making money. Yeah. I might have things. I'm depressed. Yeah. Right. He might come to that conclusion. Yeah. Where this is, right. This environment expedites the process of saying like, oh no, bro, you are depressed now. Yeah. And these are the reasons why. Yes. This is why if we worked worked on this Right.

[00:33:53] We can springboard you to making money like this. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then you can be a wholesome individual who has both. Yeah. So I think that the environment plays a huge role. I agree. Yeah. Uh, on like. If you take heresy, you say five level, but you took somebody who's minus five and you threw 'em in different environments.

[00:34:12] Like it's the environment that's gonna be shaping them. You know? I agree. You can have a person with 25 common sense. Yeah. But they throw them into an abusive environment and they didn't have the self-confidence, for example, piece. Right? Mm-hmm. Well, they're gonna have, a boss was gonna be like riding them for the next 25 years, right?

[00:34:27] Mm-hmm. And not empowering them, right. So they can be, they can get lower than, than Harris at that moment. Yeah. Where he might have less, but now is in a, in a proper environment. Yeah, I agree. You know what I mean? And at the end of the day, to give Harris credit, despite the fact that we're tumbling him and we are, um, what's his name, um, providing enough pressure and challenging him, he's still here.

[00:34:47] Yeah, no, I agree. He's still here. He's showing some of that character. I agree. He has the ability to apologize. Yeah. Right. He, he see, he sees the wrongdoing sometimes and he reaches out and says, Hey, yo, I realize this shit got got the best of me. I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what I mean? For sure. And that's credit to him, Uhhuh.

[00:35:00] Sure. That's a little bit of humility that. We haven't seen from the other individuals. Yeah. Yeah. Who bucked a lot more, who had more money. Yeah. And Nate, who, who was making 150. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And said, you know what? I don't need to fucking listen to this show when totally said, Hey, you're being very nasty to that Tesla employee.

[00:35:17] You know what I mean? Like, he's like, I don't wanna fucking hear it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, this guy's supposed to do this show. Like, that was his attitude. Yeah. Like he thought he was above him. 

[00:35:24] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:35:25] You 

[00:35:25] Eldar: know what I'm saying? 

[00:35:26] Of course. So like, who's actually a disadvantage here? No, I'm not saying anybody's disadvantage, I'm just saying there's different bases and different things.

[00:35:33] Sure. Common sense ego humility. Right? Sure. There's all different levels. Yeah. Harris could be stronger one thing. Correct. Maybe weaker another. Correct. And, but again, yes, there is a wraparound services for everybody, but yeah. Not for everybody. Oh, not for everybody. For, for Harris, he's getting wraparound services specifically.

[00:35:49] Yeah. For Harris for sure. And, and I think if 

[00:35:50] Eldar: we find his, his, his strong suits, which we're looking for, right? Yeah. To get him to a place where he can be a wholesome person, he 

[00:35:56] can excel. I agree. Yeah. But I also think that the process is the way it is where he's definitely like bucking. He almost, yeah. You know, went for a long nav yesterday.

[00:36:06] Yeah. Or two days ago, you know, where it was pretty tense and it was like a, almost like a crossroads. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But he, he stuck around, he stuck through it. He apologized, like you said, you know, uh, he, he offered to do extra credit. The herd for you. Yes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes. We'll talk about that later.

[00:36:22] He's sick for us. You know? So like he's showing that, yes. He may be like, again, is I feel like there's like levels of competency on different things. Yeah. Different subjects. Yeah. You know, so maybe he's better at humility and he's not as good as something 

[00:36:35] Eldar: else. Right. Which then shows you then what? Then it's like maybe you interpreting his quote unquote common sense the wrong way, because maybe No, no.

[00:36:43] I wasn't interpreting, I was just making a joke about the common sense. No, I know, but I'm saying like, if you set him versus Nate down, for example, and to say like, oh no, this guy's clearly more intelligent than he has his shit together, yada, yada, yada. Right. Yeah. But does. Does he, does Nate have a shit go on?

[00:36:58] Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like more 

[00:36:59] than Harris. 

[00:36:59] Eldar: No. Yeah. For example. But anybody from outside, if you wind up a thousand people and said, yo, judge the two. Yeah. For sure. This guy has more common sense. Yeah. You know what I mean? Has a better job. Yeah. Yada, yada. Can dress up nice or whatever. And all this other crap.

[00:37:10] Of course. You know, but the truth of not until you really find out what's actually going on. Yeah. You quickly find out that I think that Harris has more potential. Well, and I think this 

[00:37:18] is also part of the what's going on process of really getting to know who Harris is more at the core. Yeah. And these fights Yeah.

[00:37:23] They bring out 'cause they show character. Yeah. If he was Nate Yeah. In that space. Yeah. He would've been outta here. Nate 

[00:37:29] Eldar: left after first fight. Yeah. 

[00:37:30] He would've outta after the first fight he left. 

[00:37:32] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. After first fight he left. Yeah. With Harris, we probably have five already under our belt. Yeah.

[00:37:37] Yeah. You know what I mean? He's 

[00:37:39] still here. He's still here. Yeah. So that, that's, that's what I'm saying. It's like, uh, he may have different, and the, and the fights happen only because we touch certain things that the people are attached to. Right. Yeah. We have that ability. You know what I'm saying? So yeah.

[00:37:54] He got, we like this whole doctor thing. It touched something, which I actually don't believe is actually the problem. Mm-hmm. You know? But if he wants to believe that I disagree, it's a financial thing, you know? Yeah. I think, well, we do 

[00:38:07] Eldar: too. 

[00:38:08] Yeah. Uh, the doctor was able to push a button that he was not, had a stance on, not had an understanding on.

[00:38:13] Yeah. He forgot what's going on. Yeah. 

[00:38:16] Toliy: Well, no, I think it's the opposite. I think the doctor pushed the button that he has a stance on. 

[00:38:19] Yeah. Well, no, I think it's, he does believe he does. He, he, he has a stance sometimes, and sometimes he doesn't. That's not a strong stance. The thing, it's not a strong stance.

[00:38:27] Eldar: I think Har, like I said, Harris is, is impressionable, right? Yes. Today he believes me. Tomorrow he believes his dad. Yeah. And the third day he believes his brother. Yeah. And now he believes his doctor. But then he comes around and comes, believes me again. 

[00:38:38] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:38:39] Eldar: And he's just like a pinball. That's, yeah. Right.

[00:38:41] When will Harris have his own power where he's gonna say, I know what's right for me. I know what I'm standing on and this is what I'm gonna do. And I think in those moments when we push him, he actually says it. Yeah. It's like, yo, I want to continue on this. 

[00:38:53] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:38:54] Eldar: Right. He went and he, he did his walk yesterday again, he's gonna do it again probably today.

[00:38:59] And he is gonna continue on the plan. And I think that's what. That's where the power is. He just needs to harvest it a little bit more. Right. Yeah. He has to put patience and time on his side. Yeah. Do it more consistently and then grow into it. 

[00:39:11] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:39:12] Eldar: So then he kind of knows like, okay, cool. Like I'll, I'll like this.

[00:39:14] I know how I feel, I know what to do and I know what to turn to. 

[00:39:17] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:39:17] Eldar: So he takes ownership of it, but before he does, everyone else owns space in his fucking real estate, in his head. 

[00:39:24] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:39:25] Eldar: Yeah. Hence he doesn't have his own power. Yep. He doesn't have his own voice. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:33] Yeah. You know, his dad told him that you can invest $30,000 and make it million. Oh, fuck yeah, man. Make him million in 10 years. Yeah. You 

[00:39:42] Toliy: know what I'm saying? Yeah. And he has a $450 interest bill. Yeah. Per month. Per month on a 1700 bill. Fuck you 

[00:39:49] Eldar: man. Well, there you go. And we are the ones who's trying to like debunk these things and help 'em out actually to say, Hey, Harris, this is how the world really works.

[00:39:57] Yeah. This is what's actually going on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. All the conclusions you've made are actually working against you. 

[00:40:04] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:40:04] Eldar: You are not empowered, you know? Mm-hmm. 

[00:40:08] Yeah. Because he doesn't have that good understanding of that, but he still wants to have an opinion about it or thinks he knows something.

[00:40:14] Eldar: Yeah. But I, but I also think that Harris also does not not have the ability to learn. I think he does have an ability to learn. Yeah. Absolutely. And he is learning. 

[00:40:22] He is. Yeah. He is learning. Yeah. And I think I,

[00:40:28] well, I guess the, what's the prerequisite to learn? Hmm. To, to say that you don't know something, to humble yourself. Like, well, 

[00:40:38] Eldar: that's a, that's a good question. Topic. We always, always talk about that too. Yeah. I think pain is a big, big one. Big one. Yeah. You know, suffering is a big one. 

[00:40:47] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the, the Harris that came out with all this financial, like knowledge became a financial guru overnight, believed in exactly what he came with, you know, with the doctor, the a PR and other things that he calculated.

[00:41:05] Like, why did he think that he knows something about this in that time? Yeah. And why was he confident? You know, I think 

[00:41:10] Eldar: Harris for a very long time has been conditioned to experience stress in a very specific way. Yeah. And, um, he gets very, um, influenced or sucked in, into that way of responding to certain things.

[00:41:22] Is, um, 

[00:41:23] is he looking for pockets of freedom? 

[00:41:25] Eldar: Well, he is. He's he looking for pain relief, right? Yeah. He's trying to find a way to relieve some of his stress and some of this pain. Yeah. In order to be a better functioning, happy person. 

[00:41:34] Yeah. Like, while listening to the doctor, he thought he was gonna relieve some pain.

[00:41:38] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:41:38] By calculating a PR, he thought he was gonna relieve some pain. Yeah. You know? 

[00:41:42] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. Harris, are we a immovable, a wall that you are aware of or no? Huh? Are we a immovable, uh, wall that you can't jump over? Immovable, wall Immovable. What do you mean? Like, we can't move this wall. Like we as a collective me Totally.

[00:41:58] A mike. And what we stand for like a aism. Are we immovable? We can't move. You can't move us. What do you mean by move? Well, 

[00:42:05] every time you come knocking with your Yeah. Ignorance. Yeah. With your ignorance. Like nobody opens the doors. 

[00:42:12] Eldar: You realize that No, no, no. 

[00:42:18] What's going on, mom? Well, every time you try to do things your way.

[00:42:23] Right. And you faced with like a certain challenge. What do you think that that is? Is that like a wall that you can't get through? Like, you know? Oh, uh, like a gate? Yeah. Yeah, sure. You can call it a gate. Yeah, sure. If you, I guess I don't 

[00:42:40] Eldar: really know. Yeah. Yeah. Are we just like reminders? 

[00:42:48] Harris: What? That I'm alone on the outside.

[00:42:51] Eldar: That what? I'm alone on the outside? No, that you actually not alone. Yeah. I think this is what we're trying to remind you of. No, I know. I'm not alone. You know what I'm saying? Like we are in it together. I know. I'm 

[00:43:02] Harris: not alone. Yeah. But you're on one side of the gate, you know? 

[00:43:06] Eldar: Yeah. And sometimes you come knocking, wearing some kind of a mask and we're like, oh, we have face control here.

[00:43:11] That guy's not coming through. Not coming in.

[00:43:17] You know? Yeah.

[00:43:23] What?

[00:43:28] I thought I answered the question. Okay. Yeah. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Is it good? We we're serving you, right? Yeah, we are. I mean, like look, you see all the answers are like pretty basic, and he understands it all. I. 

[00:43:42] Harris: Right. But which then we use it against him. You're serving me. Right? Right. Yeah. But sometimes my brain Yeah.

[00:43:47] Has a tendency to get caught. See, that's the question. Why 

[00:43:49] do we not serve as ourselves? Right. And I think the answer is what you mean. We're not Well, oh, the time conflicts with us. Yeah. He's not serving himself his, again, our ourself is our true self. It's our best self. Like there's also that always discrimination.

[00:44:03] Yeah. The best version of ourselves and the true, then the version of who we actually are. Yeah. Right. This is always the moment to moment. Yeah. You know, who we want to be, who we'd like to be as the best idea that we want and versus who we truly are. Yeah. You know, we always have this thing, this like, um, thing, and I think it happens, the reason, the disconnect between who we are and who we wanna be.

[00:44:25] Mm-hmm. Right? Like the best version and the actual version mm-hmm. Is because we actually never dedicate enough time to find out who we actually are. 

[00:44:32] Eldar: Hmm. 

[00:44:33] You know, we always want to act and wear a mask. Do we just want to, or it just comes natural 

[00:44:38] Eldar: to us now. 

[00:44:38] Oh, it's, I think it's just like automatic. It's natural now.

[00:44:40] Yeah. We learned this. Yeah. To suit us, to like best suit us, uh, navigate through life to avoid It's became a habit. It's a habit. Yeah. It's a bad habit, right? It's a bad habit. It's a bad habit. Yeah. But it's also very hard to get to know who we are when we don't ask, when we're only asking the person in the mirror who's probably biased.

[00:45:01] What do you mean? Probably the guy who's got the ego in the driver's seat. Yeah. He does not want to get off the driver's seat. He doesn't want the other guy drive. Yeah. So I think that's a very, very challenging, 

[00:45:13] Eldar: why wouldn't you want to be a nice guy for the rest of your life? A nice guy. Yeah. Right. Like in, in his case, right.

[00:45:20] We constantly say like, Hey, you have nice in you. Yeah. You, you're a good kid. You know what I mean? Like, but you lead with this like shell. Mm. You know what I mean? Like. Why be nice to yourself. Right. Be nice to others. Yeah. Well, I 

[00:45:33] think, um, he probably believes that it still serves him somehow. Somehow he didn't change it.

[00:45:41] Yeah. Is 

[00:45:41] Harris: that you? 

[00:45:43] Yeah. Thank you. He didn't change his stance on it. Mm-hmm. He's still in that young stage where he thinks he needed to p whether it's in a shelter, whether it's, you know, with his brothers mm-hmm. With his parents. So it's, it's just all trauma and, and tools we carry in our life suitcase that we never like, like it's like almost like a hoarding.

[00:46:06] Yeah. You know? 

[00:46:07] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:46:08] Like, I got all these bad habits with me, I'm gonna just take 'em. And then you're like, yo, wait. I live on an island. I don't need a fucking snow jacket. Yeah. What the fuck am I doing here? Yeah. Just like a is a easy example. Yeah, yeah. No, I understand. You know? Yeah. You don't need these tools anymore.

[00:46:21] Yeah. 'cause you're not in that place where you Yeah, were before. Well, it was hostile, so you need to let go and be like, yo, I'm not gonna whip this outta my suitcase now. Yeah. I don't need this shit. This is garbage. I could leave it behind. And I think it's an ability to probably, you know, be in the moment and see what's actually happening.

[00:46:37] And see what's, what's necessary, what's serving you, what's what's needed. You know, people come into relationships. What? Always with their previous traumas. Why baggage? Yeah. They never left it at the baggage claim. Yeah. They never left it. They keep picking it up every time after every flight, you know, they say, yo, actually everything was good.

[00:46:55] I don't need this shit anymore. Yeah. So I think that's a, that's a big, uh, big factor. 

[00:47:05] Eldar: So, Harris, stop being a tough guy, man. On 

[00:47:06] Harris: record. Yeah. 

[00:47:08] Eldar: Are we doing right by you? 

[00:47:09] Harris: Yes, absolutely. 

[00:47:12] Eldar: Have you seen glimpses of yourself where you are happy? 

[00:47:15] Harris: Yeah. 

[00:47:17] Eldar: Proud of yourself too? Yeah. 

[00:47:18] Harris: Yeah. 

[00:47:19] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:47:20] Harris: Starting, has he shared those moments with myself in the mirror?

[00:47:22] Yeah. Or has he shared those moments with you? Who? Him? 

[00:47:27] Eldar: With me? Yeah. No. No. Okay. I mean, like, we don't actively talk about it. Yeah. Like I said, a lot of times we don't talk about these types of things. 

[00:47:34] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:47:34] Eldar: Yeah. We don't go over some of the results. Right? 

[00:47:36] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:47:36] Eldar: We, you know, I mean, most people keep gravitating towards the negative.

[00:47:40] Yeah. You know what we don't have still. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, this is taking so long. Yeah. And all this other stuff, right? Yeah. Uh, so we never learned to actually empower ourselves through the accomplishments that we do. Yeah. Accomplish, right?

[00:47:57] So if we're doing everything right, what's your role? What's my, what role? In this whole thing? It seems like our role is defined and we're doing, we're doing it right. What is your role? 

[00:48:11] Harris: My role is to try my best to stay on track, man. 

[00:48:14] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:48:15] Harris: How does that look like? Yeah.

[00:48:19] Continue to be, uh, doing the Gilly up and try to be the best student, you know? 

[00:48:24] Eldar: Oh, okay. 

[00:48:26] Harris: So very difficult. 

[00:48:27] Eldar: I know, I know, I know. 

[00:48:31] Harris: What the Gilly up, I would say is, uh, the easy part. Staying, you know, uh, listening is the 

[00:48:41] Eldar: hard part and remembering certain things.

[00:48:49] Listening to what? Like, uh, in 

[00:48:51] what context? Well, it's 

[00:48:51] Harris: more like staying on the right track. 

[00:48:52] Yeah. Okay. So then if you know that there's certain, so do you know that there's certain things that you do that prevent you from staying on the right track or you haven't identified them? 

[00:49:03] Harris: I haven't identified them fully, but, uh, sometimes it, 

[00:49:07] like, you have like a drops my mind.

[00:49:09] Like, uh, people, like I'll have certain friends that always I get in trouble with, you know, always do crazy drugs or, you know, go crazy drinking or whatever. Like, for example, those kind of things is like knowing yourself and knowing what kind of things you get into that may take away from what you're trying to accomplish in your life, right?

[00:49:26] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[00:49:26] You know, you go hang out with a certain friend that he likes to go to the club and get bottle service. You are over here trying to save money. Why are you hanging out with that friend, for example? And if you are okay with it, like, okay, I understand, like, hey, these are consequences. I'm gonna hang out with this guy.

[00:49:39] It's gonna take away from my goal or my dream of saving money for whatever. Mm-hmm. You know, that's, that's part of it. Knowing, knowing that, and then also that's one way, but also knowing yourself where you get yourself in trouble without other people, like, you know, necessarily That's like, uh, knowing yourself and knowing.[00:50:00]

[00:50:01] Where you 

[00:50:01] Eldar: get yourself in trouble. Because if you start identifying those things, we can potentially help you. And I think that's the next part of your, you know, get your life in order plan is the mental health. Right. Also is gonna be there. Right. Well, we can help remind you of certain things. Right? Just like when you went to Nebraska to see your family.

[00:50:18] We remind you of certain things. Hey, be careful. Pay attention to yourself. Make sure that some people don't influence you in the wrong way, so you don't come back with a bad mindset. You know? And this time you did pretty well, you said, right? Mm-hmm. Nobody really got into your head. Nobody really fucked anything up.

[00:50:31] But then we had a different, it was not, 

[00:50:33] Harris: yeah. 

[00:50:33] Eldar: But then we down 

[00:50:34] Harris: there, it was not very, you know, it chatty, chatty about ourselves. It was 

[00:50:37] Eldar: more focused on Yeah. But that's like distraction base, right? Um, where those conversations weren't even had, or you didn't have the time to be able to have those conversations, therefore you kind of dodged the bullet, let's just say.

[00:50:50] But the bullet was there. Yeah. Right. My question is right, is like, I. How can you, em, empower yourself to them when you go into these situations that other individuals don't sway you the wrong way. Right. Like Mike said, if you know that you're gonna step and fall, you know, pad the fall. 

[00:51:06] Yeah. 

[00:51:06] Eldar: Put a pillow down.

[00:51:07] Well, for your does example, you know, every dime he's gonna hit you with the same record. Yeah. He's not gonna change the music ever. Yeah. Like, it's already, this is about like all of our parents. Yeah. They're gonna always sing the same tune, whatever the tune is. Yeah. Why didn't, why don't we sit down? Not, I'm just saying you, but in general, why do people not sit down and be like, okay, this is what my dad's gonna throw at me.

[00:51:27] Yeah. He is gonna throw a fucking left hook. That's it. Why can't I dodge it if I know it's coming every single time? Yeah. Why do we have the wrong, 

[00:51:34] Eldar: uh, response to it? Yes. Why do we become emotional? Yeah. Why do we get agitated? Right. It's like, yeah, Mike, like, like Mike said, it's gonna be the same broken record every single time.

[00:51:45] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:51:46] Eldar: Why are you not empowered or looking to get power? Power up? I. Maybe you're addicted to pain. Oh, shit. What's wrong with you, bro? Some people are Yes. You like tattoos. The pain that comes with it now. Yeah. Fucking take you deep, bro.

[00:52:16] Yeah. That's interesting. It's very interesting.

[00:52:23] Yeah. To have you mind of your own, to not be influenced, brainwashed. It's difficult. Mm-hmm. You know, in, in this world, let's just say. 

[00:52:31] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like that's more of like a,

[00:52:36] like closer to an end result type of person than the, uh, the beginning. 

[00:52:41] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:52:42] Eldar: Well, the, the thing is, I think that I agree with you to some degree, um, but are we only talking about a defense? Totally. Oh, oh a what? We're talking about defense right now. We're not even talking about offense. 

[00:52:56] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:52:56] Eldar: But it's, um, like we're having, like, we're not even talking about creativity.

[00:53:01] Right. We're not talking about creation. We're not talking about other things. They always say, say 

[00:53:05] Toliy: basketball. So, uh, good defense leads to good offense. 

[00:53:08] Eldar: Yeah. And I, and I, like I said, we're just talking about defense here, you know, so it's not like the end, I don't think it's like the end of your 

[00:53:16] Toliy: Yeah. But defense, I think is like the, um, the harder 

[00:53:21] Eldar: part, harder 

[00:53:21] Toliy: boss.

[00:53:22] Yeah. Like to not let others infiltrate you your space. Mm-hmm. Versus you properly like, you know, challenging or infiltrating. Like, like that's like, like if you die of a person that like, okay, like, like, like you died, people not being able to infiltrate you. Like that's really like, you know, accomplished pretty good.

[00:53:41] Yeah. Now you being able to properly communicate with others or troll properly or to Yeah. Enjoy your life, things like that. That's the next level. Like a, like scenario. That's what I'm saying, that 

[00:53:53] Eldar: there's more to uncover. 

[00:53:55] Toliy: There's a lot more to do. Yeah. But I think that, that, that first hump is, uh, is a big one.

[00:53:59] Yeah. I mean, I think it's very hard, 

[00:54:01] but that also does that depend on the, on the level of the boss. Like his dad is probably level 10 boss for him, but somebody else, it might be a level 

[00:54:09] Toliy: one boss. No, but it's a, uh, it's, it's a circumstantial boss, like mm-hmm. Like the dad is a difficult boss because he sees him every single day, for example.

[00:54:20] Yeah. Like, he's like, yeah, right there. Mm-hmm. You know, like, let's say he got his own place or he lives somewhere else. 

[00:54:26] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:54:26] Toliy: Like, you know, his dad might be able to call him, but he's not gonna just like show up at his place. His dad might, he might, I guess. Right. But he's not gonna like be in his life as much.

[00:54:35] Yeah. But, but. That same type of boss is gonna be somewhere like of something else is gonna happen else. Yeah. On that level, I agree on I on that level. Yeah. Because like, it doesn't matter where you run to, you're gonna basically For sure find, like you, you're gonna find the reflection of yourself, like wherever.

[00:54:53] Mm-hmm. You know? Right. Whichever lake you look at, 

[00:54:57] Eldar: you know, what the fuck, what, what is wrong with you, man? They say, your leg is full of piss my life. Even if you look into your piss, you still see yourself, what the fuck? 

[00:55:07] Toliy: Yeah. Like, get your life together, man. That, that, that's like the, um, I, 

[00:55:14] Eldar: I think you're right.

[00:55:15] Well, a hundred percent where everything he said is right. Yeah. You know, cer. Yeah. Like no matter where you go, the grass is not greener. 

[00:55:23] No, no. I'm just saying that there's certain ones that are easier to deal with than others, and maybe he doesn't, you know, 'cause to was saying that you. What, what did, what did you say before this?

[00:55:37] Sorry, about, um, circumstance? No, no. About, you have to get the skill, you know, and I agree. Eventually you have to face level 10 bosses. Like if you wanna like, you know, keep risking and have a better quality of life, but not even, no matter what stage are in development, there's level one bosses and 10 bosses as well.

[00:55:59] And maybe you're not ready for the tens in the current form, but maybe you are more, more prepared for the ones that takes away from the stress and pressure, you know, as well. 

[00:56:09] Toliy: Yeah. The, the thing is that like, depending on what circumstances you put yourself in or like mm-hmm. What understanding people have around you, what these challenges are is simply like, like pressures, right?

[00:56:21] Mm-hmm. Like what his dad, for example, is doing is putting like a pressure 

[00:56:25] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:56:26] Toliy: Right on him. So his dad is like just the vehicle of, of pressure that's being put on him. Him not understanding how to properly deal with it. Like if Eldar, for example, he puts, starts putting pressure on him. Yeah. Like saying, Hey, you have to close two deals every week starting next week.

[00:56:42] Mm-hmm. He's gonna go nuts. Yeah, of course. You know, it's the same, same thing. So like, whoever is in his life, that's it. Like not understanding, for example, and puts particular pressures out of like their own understanding. Yeah. Right. Um, but not the understanding that, that maybe he like, like, uh, needs let Yeah.

[00:57:01] Let's just say Right. They're gonna present those kinds of, uh, challenges. 

[00:57:06] Yeah. But do we not put a certain type of pr certain, like, pressure on him as well? No. And, 

[00:57:10] Eldar: and, and we don't. No, no, no. I'll tell you, when we put on pressure, it's very specific pressure. Yeah. It's when he acts out. When he acts out.

[00:57:17] When he acts out. Yeah. When you show me your face. Yeah. Okay. Let's fight. Yeah. You don't wanna fight. Yeah. Because we don't need to fight. 

[00:57:26] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:57:28] Eldar: You don't have an argument mm-hmm. If you do the door's right there. I, I say it all the time. 

[00:57:32] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:57:33] Eldar: If you have an argument, you could do better. Mm-hmm. 

[00:57:34] Toliy: Or do 

[00:57:35] Eldar: better.

[00:57:35] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:57:36] Toliy: Yeah. And that, that, and, and, and like that's what I was saying before about like the different plans that people agreed to. Yeah. Right. Once the, like that doctor, that day, he put a pressure Yeah. His doctor was metaphorically saying, is that like, yo, forget about the slow and steady plan. Yeah. Like, if you make major changes right now Yeah.

[00:57:55] You're gonna die. Yeah. That's what he said. So, so he adopted that. Mm-hmm. And as soon as he adopted it, that like slow and steady plan is gone now. Of course. So, 

[00:58:06] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:58:06] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:58:07] Eldar: You know, right. Harris,

[00:58:15] right? Yeah. Man. Okay. What. Some 

[00:58:21] Harris: pressure right there. Damn, Mike. That's 

[00:58:23] Toliy: crazy. 

[00:58:23] Eldar: Relieved a little bit of pressure. 

[00:58:25] Toliy: Yeah. So like tho those pressures are the things that, that like be, because like when you get acceptance 

[00:58:31] Mike: mm-hmm. 

[00:58:32] Toliy: And you have like sentence periods of acceptance and you're on a plan and you're like doing good things for yourself, you could be on there, but then when you have unexpected pressures kind of put on you.

[00:58:44] Yeah. Or like, or even if they're expected and you don't know how to deal with them, they throw everything off right away. Like this? 

[00:58:50] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:58:52] Toliy: Be because like, they're very good at like highlighting like many years worth of things into like one, one conversation or one moment. So let's answer the question then.

[00:59:01] What sticks? 

[00:59:03] Eldar: What sticks? What sticks? Right. In what sense? Like, 

[00:59:06] Mike: yeah. 

[00:59:06] Eldar: Well look, look at the sense of this, right? There's, let's just say his dad or his doctor mm-hmm. Is putting very specific pressure. Right. Did his, hold on, did that pay up the doctor to bring this conversation up? There's a possibility for that.

[00:59:18] I agree. Okay. They apparently are, are childhood friends. Childhood friends? Yes. They're 

[00:59:22] Harris: not childhood friends. 20 

[00:59:23] years. I'm sorry. He used to be his mechanic or something 

[00:59:25] Eldar: too. They used to each other as inflammation. Inflammation, yes. What the fuck? Yeah. So what sticks and why, right? My question is this, right.

[00:59:37] There's pressure on that side. The dad. Yeah. Right. The doctor Uhhuh, whoever else, whatever the society. Yeah. Right. And then there's us. Yeah. Who are like, Hey, no pressure. Yeah. Right. Uh, the choice should be yours. You should be an autonomous human being. Make your own choices and do the things that are, that you think are right, or the things that are closer to your soul than anything else.

[01:00:03] Not to the personality or the tough guy that you've built up. You know what I mean? Or you wanna portray in social media or whatever. Yeah. This fucking crypto mogul, you know? Well, you know, it's who you actually are, right. So what ultimately will stick, you know, in the soul of who he truly is, the pressures of his dad, or that which we're pro providing the non pressured approach of the non-pressure.

[01:00:33] What, what do you mean? Like what will stick? Like what, what's gonna, what's actually will be retained? The knowledge, the wisdom. Mm. Right. What's gonna take over? What should take over? Well, yeah.

[01:00:47] Why is he still here? Are we winning, quote unquote, what's winning and up to what point? Yeah. Right. Is he aware of the scope of service here completely. You know? Yeah. Is his soul aware of the scope of service here? That's different? You know, you What's funny though, 

[01:01:09] Toliy: too? Like, like, not, not that it was the same, like exact scenarios, but like.

[01:01:16] Early on when I started like, working with you. Like, I had my own obviously pressures from, from, from my, my own family. 

[01:01:22] Mike: Yeah, I remember 

[01:01:23] Toliy: that. Yeah. Like saying about different things. I, I don't know how, but I got to a point where I was able to use their argument to like thank them 

[01:01:32] Harris: mm-hmm. 

[01:01:33] Toliy: Using their argument.

[01:01:34] Mm-hmm. And then it was almost like a, like, you can't really say anything back. 

[01:01:38] Eldar: Hmm. 

[01:01:39] Toliy: You know? 

[01:01:40] Eldar: Well, can you give an example? Yeah, yeah. 

[01:01:42] Toliy: Like, um, like, um, my mom would like say like, Hey, like, like you need to like, think about your future. Like, you need to, you know, to have an actual career. Like, you may, you like, probably need to go back to school so that you can have a real thing.

[01:01:57] And then like, like yeah. When she was saying this, like at, at first I would just be like, you know, ignore it or like, walk out or like whatever, yell at her. Right. Yeah. But then I like, but then that continued because like, you know, in her mind again, like, you know, like you're, uh. College dropout. Mm-hmm. You have no, like, you know, like, like you have nothing really Right.

[01:02:17] To show for, you know, to show for Yeah. Or to like, to lean on. 

[01:02:20] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:02:21] Toliy: Right. And, um, um, like I, I remember like what the turning point was of like, how, how it all happened, but I remember what I told her. She, she, she, she continued to like, say that kind of stuff. And then, like I told her, well, like, like she was challenging me on like, you know, on like, you, you, you gotta go do something else.

[01:02:40] You have to like, you know, like, think about this or like, you know. Mm-hmm. Like, this is not gonna work out. Or like, you, you need more, or like, whatever. Mm-hmm. And I would say, well, mom, like, you know, like, you guys like came to America and you guys have good jobs and you guys like, you actually do a really good job of supporting me because like, like I'm really enjoying what I'm doing now and because of you, I have that opportunity to do that.

[01:03:01] Yeah. Because like, you can kind of, you know, like, gimme a place to live. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Gimme food and you can build something bigger. Pay, pay for my car. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And like. Um, right now I have the opportunity to like, learn and like, you know, like enjoy something and like, um, like, like do something I really like, I would, and just go something.

[01:03:19] And like, I, I thanked her for that. 

[01:03:21] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[01:03:21] Toliy: And then like, she can't, she can't really say anything back. 

[01:03:24] Eldar: Mm. 

[01:03:24] Toliy: Because like, like, like, it's like, it, it's like almost like going against her, like initial argument in a way where I'm saying like, yeah, I can actually do what I'm doing now, which is like, you know, doing something I like and like learning something and like exploring it because of the opportunity that like you gave me.

[01:03:41] That's right. And then you start thanking the person, you, you are grateful. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you show them that like, hey, like you're disarmed her, Hey. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. And then I remember, uh, like, like, like, like I would tell her like, Hey, like, you always say that like. You, you love me and you want me to be happy, right?

[01:03:57] Yeah. And then I would say like, well, I'm really happy because of you, because I have the opportunity to do this, to go do this. Yeah, 

[01:04:03] Mike: yeah. 

[01:04:03] Toliy: Right. But like, if I had, you know, like, you know, I had a family, kids or obligations, like, yeah, you can't do anything like, you know, startup related, for example. Yeah. Any of that kind of stuff, like, you know.

[01:04:14] Um, and then she stopped bothering me about it. You know, Paris? Did you hear that? 

[01:04:18] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:04:21] Toliy: What 

[01:04:21] Eldar: do you think? 

[01:04:22] Harris: I've heard it 

[01:04:23] Eldar: before. Yeah, you've heard it before. It's like the same, you know, that he, he was working for nothing pretty much. Yeah. I started, heard that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. '

[01:04:33] Toliy: cause like, at the end of the day, what my mom was doing is like, she loves me and she wants me to be in like a good scenario.

[01:04:39] Yeah. Which you and progress in my life and in her mind I'm not, yeah. So she has to go like, try to like, you know, help me and talk to me. 

[01:04:45] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:04:46] Toliy: Um, but then like. I'm thanking her for giving me the opportunity Yeah. To do this. Yeah. And she always says that like, she loves me and she wants the best for me.

[01:04:54] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:04:54] Toliy: And like, you know, and I'm expressing that I am really actually happy. 

[01:04:58] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:04:58] Toliy: And it's all because of you. 

[01:04:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:00] Toliy: You know, and then that's it. 

[01:05:02] Eldar: The question is, how'd you get to that point? To finally be able to have that? Yeah. I don't know. That type of communication and finally get to that point. I mean, I'm pretty sure we had a lot of conversations around this and we could do something like that.

[01:05:11] Toliy: I think I, I think I was probably convinced that I, I was like, like what I was telling her was actually true. 

[01:05:16] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:17] Toliy: I probably had to get to a point where I had enough conviction, 

[01:05:20] Eldar: conviction 

[01:05:21] Toliy: of that. Mm-hmm. You know, 

[01:05:22] Eldar: conviction. And I think that's closely tied to being empowered. Yeah. 

[01:05:27] Toliy: Yeah. Like, 'cause like, you can't say that if you're, you know what I'm saying?

[01:05:29] You're lying because if you're still Yeah. 

[01:05:31] Eldar: If you're still telling your dad that I'm, yeah. I'm still looking for work. I'm still looking for other jobs. I'm sending out, uh, resumes. Yeah. You don't believe any of this. Yeah. You're a liar. You're a liar. Yeah. Like what? Like you're just saying things just to get them off your back, quote unquote.

[01:05:48] How are you gonna succeed anywhere? Yeah. How you're not supposed to succeed. Right. You're not genuine. Yeah. You're not authentic. You don't believe it yourself. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. But if you have conviction, you stand on it. That is your power. Yeah. And that's what we said, like, if you can finally take that and focus, his dad will get off his back, you know, because he will see that he's practicing things, he's creating campaigns, he's being creative, he's researching things like, you know, I have this opportunity to go out there and fish.

[01:06:25] Toliy: Yeah. And like the thing about it, his dad is saying all this like, like, you know, sure he could be ignorant, but he's probably saying all this at a place of like somewhat love. Right. Because like he wants the best for his son. Yeah. But he just doesn't know the steps behind it. Yeah. He, he doesn't know the [01:06:40] steps.

[01:06:40] But I'm saying like intention wise that, yeah. So. Just because he doesn't know the steps. Just like my mom didn't know the steps. Yeah. When she was telling me what she said, telling me. Yeah. Because, you know, obviously my mom's thing is go back to school. Yeah. Get a degree. Yeah. And go do something. Yeah. You know, like that that was in her, her mind worth to like do Yeah.

[01:06:57] Right. So like, just because she doesn't know what the steps, you can actually like, like, you know, basically like accelerate that process for her by, by like saying those things. Like he, like, you know, like imagine he went to his dad and like his dad like doesn't have a good relationship it sounds like, with his daughter.

[01:07:17] Right. Yeah. And like, sounds like he doesn't have a good relationship with many people. 

[01:07:20] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:07:21] Toliy: Right. If he really got genuinely thanked in that kind of way. Yeah. Saying that like, Hey, like you're. Like, like, you know, like because of you and Well, you provided the opportunity. Yeah. You, yeah. Like you're giving me the opportunity to like, you know, live out my dream or to explore something or to really learn and do something I really enjoy.

[01:07:37] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:07:38] Toliy: So I just wanted to, you know, show appreciation 

[01:07:40] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:07:41] Toliy: Of that. Like, how, how does that feel? You, you can't come with that same energy. I can't energy in that kind of way anymore. Can't. But you have to be genuine about it. 

[01:07:51] Eldar: You have to, you say you have to have conviction. Yeah. That you have to believe it.

[01:07:54] And that 

[01:07:54] Toliy: kind of energy is like universally felt, doesn't matter. Like with what level 

[01:07:58] Eldar: I agree with. I agree with you of 

[01:07:59] Toliy: development. You are. And that does 

[01:08:00] Eldar: what in turn, right? Not only that, you are empowered, you pass that on individual and you help them in turn. 'cause they don't have to go and be a broken record for the rest of their life.

[01:08:09] You can snap them out of that finally. Yeah. And you can focus on something else. His dad might get curious like, oh, what are you doing? Tell me about this. And then he might get excited about telling him what he's doing and there's gonna be a synchronicity where there's no more judgment anymore. He can focus on what he wants to do, win.

[01:08:27] Yeah.

[01:08:31] Yeah. But 

[01:08:33] Toliy: like through his actions, like I don't think he's a hundred percent convinced, you know, one way or another. No, I know, I know. I, I know, you know, I think 

[01:08:39] Eldar: that's still farfetched. 

[01:08:41] Toliy: Yeah. So because of that he has to like, you know, do, do what? Do do what he does now. 

[01:08:45] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah.

[01:08:49] How many resumes you sent out? Zero. No, I know, but what do you tell your dad? 

[01:08:54] Harris: Yeah. 

[01:08:54] Eldar: Oh, 

[01:08:55] Harris: okay. I'm not telling him I'm looking for a job anymore. 

[01:08:57] Eldar: Alright, good. That's good. All right. So what are your other thoughts about this empowerment though? Giving away your power? Not having any power. You know, we're constantly being this like non-flu, uh, fluid thing, and we don't stand on any of our own.

[01:09:19] The giving away of power? Is it a conscious or unconscious action? Yeah. But I 

[01:09:25] Toliy: don't even think it's a giving away of like anything power either. You already done nothing. Yeah. I like, like, I'm not, like, I probably view it more as like, you have no power. 

[01:09:33] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:09:34] Toliy: And then people go, like, usually people go two different routes.

[01:09:38] They're either the ones that get like bullied their whole life because like, um, they obviously don't, don't, don't have power. And they got to a point where they believe that they never will and think things are the way that, that they are. 

[01:09:52] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:09:52] Toliy: Or, or you have people in power positions that, um, are operating on like false pretenses where they, they, they like think that like they know something but they actually don't.

[01:10:05] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:10:06] Toliy: And then they bully the people that like, just kind of like lay, lay down and are willing to be like roadkill. Like that. That's usually to me like the two different, like 

[01:10:16] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:10:16] Toliy: Types of people. Like, you have like the bosses that are gonna like, you know, like they feel like they have some power, some umph.

[01:10:23] Yeah. Right. Like they're, they're gonna, they're they're doers. Mm-hmm. Right. They feel like they're smart and they're gonna bully the people that, you know, are like com complete, you know, pushovers. Yeah. Yeah. Pushovers, you know. Um, but like the people that actually know something like those, those are like, like the very few.

[01:10:47] I think that's like overall very rare to get actual power because like with, with, with that power, like, I mean 

[01:10:56] Eldar: Hmm. Comes great responsibility. 

[01:10:58] Toliy: Yeah. It comes great responsibility, you know, and most people, like, they don't know how to pro like, properly 

[01:11:05] Eldar: do things. Yeah. You know? Say something, please. I don't know, man.

[01:11:12] That's good. That's good. 

[01:11:15] Harris: Why? You know, don't, don't know what to say, you know, 

[01:11:21] Eldar: just take it in. All right. That's fair. That's fair.

[01:11:28] So, totally. Then gimme your final thoughts. Uh, 

[01:11:31] Toliy: uh, I was, I was, I was just thinking of one, one thing I was, I was watching a video before, like, you know, like the, the baseball player? Aaron? Aaron Judge. 

[01:11:39] Eldar: Yeah. I've heard of him. 

[01:11:40] Toliy: Like, he's like the best right now. Okay. You know? And he's on the Yankees. 

[01:11:44] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:11:44] Toliy: Okay.

[01:11:45] And he's notoriously like, extremely humble, like extremely nice guy. 

[01:11:48] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[01:11:48] Toliy: Like very, okay. Like, you know, always how he speaks. He's all about like team, others, but he's the best player and everyone knows it was that. Mm-hmm. And then like some, they were, they were interviewing someone asking like, like, like, why?

[01:12:00] Why is he so good? And like, how does he act this kind of way? And like this guy was saying that like. He's like a rare person who like knows how good he is. Mm-hmm. But he'll never like, put himself as like, like, like he'll never, like, like, um, how do, how, how do you say it? Like he'll never like, um, put, put himself above, put on your face.

[01:12:22] Yeah. Above others. Put himself above anyone else. But he knows how good he is. He's, he's not blind to it. Yeah. But he said that like. He'll make the worst player on the team, like the worst player in the team when they speak to him, he makes them feel as important as the best player, you know? Well, yeah. And then, I mean, he values so like he carries himself 

[01:12:39] Eldar: well.

[01:12:39] Yeah. Yeah. What, what it is, is that I think that he values the right stuff. 

[01:12:43] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:12:43] Eldar: He values human life people more than anything. 

[01:12:47] Toliy: Yeah. He said that like the person that comes on the team, like the first year, 

[01:12:50] Eldar: yeah. 

[01:12:50] Toliy: He is like, they make, he makes them feel, he said that they've been there for 10, 10 years and they're, that's awesome.

[01:12:55] That's 

[01:12:55] Eldar: great. 

[01:12:55] Toliy: Yeah. Like crucial point. Yeah. And like he said that like he'll go and he'll have a day where like he goes four for four, five or five for five. Mm-hmm. And like he's in there with the people practicing that like got no hits and like he's still trying to figure out, you know, how does he hold the bat a little different?

[01:13:09] Mm-hmm. How does he tweak something? Yeah. Even though like, he should have just like gotten home. Like he, he killed it today. Like there was no need to adjust anything. Like he's already really good. Yeah. But he'll be tinkering and practicing still in that way as if like, he's not good. He's a noob. 

[01:13:22] Eldar: Yeah, yeah.

[01:13:23] You know? Yeah. It's humility. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out guys. All right. Give us some final thoughts, Mike, before you go on this power thing and empowerment. 'cause we're finishing up as well. 

[01:13:33] Oh, you guys are? Yeah. Yeah, we're finishing up. Um 

[01:13:37] Eldar: hmm. 

[01:13:38] Final thoughts, final thoughts? Um, because I know you want to talk about 

[01:13:41] Eldar: empowerment, but before, 

[01:13:44] um, 

[01:13:44] Eldar: we finally touched that thing for a little bit.

[01:13:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, um,

[01:13:51] I guess, yeah, I mean, after the last week's episode, I think, I think it is a choice and I think it is, um, a lot of times is distractions, you know? Mm-hmm. That get us in our way of being empowered. Mm-hmm. You know, because, you know, we, we are limited resource, I guess, which is mm-hmm. Our energy. Right. We don't just like, uh, and we wanna devote ourself to different things, and until we realize what things service and what things don't 

[01:14:22] Harris: mm-hmm.

[01:14:23] We may never, we might not be empowered for a very long time. So I think it's important to put aside distractions and figure out which things actually service and which don't, which things don't. And then the things that do service, I think the power will come naturally because we'll do more of those.

[01:14:42] Yeah. Because we'll actually be able to focus on doing things that we like and that actually Yeah, like us back, I guess that fell us. Yes. Yes. 

[01:14:50] Eldar: They'll like us back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll be empowered. And we'll be empowered. Yeah, I agree with that. Totally. 

[01:14:57] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like, um, 

[01:15:00] Eldar: like, um,

[01:15:05] I, I was definitely a person growing up, like, 

[01:15:08] Toliy: like, um, not believing in general that like thing, things are like possible, you know? Like I definitely didn't grow up thinking that like, hey, like, you know, like one day Yeah. Like. I could be in control of something or like, you know, like in control of myself or like, like I, I didn't think that like, like you actually have like, like a, uh, ability to, um, 

[01:15:33] Eldar: fuck shit up and play offense.

[01:15:34] Toliy: Yeah. To like control your reality and like your decisions and like how your life goes. Like I had no clue that, that, that, like, um, something like that is possible even, you know, and I'm not sure, like, at what mo moment did I get to a point where like, I feel that, like where I had strong conviction that like, like, I dunno the exact formula, but I definitely know it's possible.

[01:15:59] Like, okay, good. For sure. Yeah, yeah, 

[01:16:01] Eldar: yeah, yeah. There, 

[01:16:01] Toliy: there's like no doubt in my mind about that. Yeah. Like, zero, you know. 

[01:16:04] Eldar: That's awesome. 

[01:16:05] Toliy: But like, like you definitely helped me like see that, that like, like that like it's doable. 

[01:16:12] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:16:12] Toliy: And I definitely felt that like at one point I wasn't Harris's shoes.

[01:16:16] Not, not, not like knowing that like it's, um. It's doable. Yeah. And I don't know like what, what you did to like, to get that belief in me, but um, yeah, I think the same thing is possible for uh, for Harris. For Harris. Um, 

[01:16:37] Eldar: but we have to do nip to nip action. What the fuck? Yeah. 

[01:16:43] Toliy: Yeah. Shirtless. Yeah. It's difficult.

[01:16:45] Like you have to actually, like, you, you, you don't have to figure anything out, but you need to figure out that it's possible. 

[01:16:51] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:16:52] Toliy: Like that, that, that, that's almost like where, where the point is. 'cause once you know it's possible 

[01:16:57] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:16:58] Toliy: Then like you can't go on any other path. 

[01:17:00] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:17:01] Toliy: And like to me, like anyone that, like, it's impossible.

[01:17:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like anyone that, like, for example, like leaves us or stuff like that, I, I think that they never got to that point where like they actually believe that like they can change their lives or they can change their understandings or they can change their like. Um, sufferings or beliefs or they can change their ideas to like mm-hmm.

[01:17:22] How things were like supposed to go, you know? 

[01:17:24] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:17:25] Toliy: Um, like, like yeah. I think that they, they, they, they never got past that point because like, if, if you get to that point where like, hey, like you could do some things where you do get control and like that will then be a much better life. Like, I don't think it's possible to go on like any other path.

[01:17:47] 'cause like that kind of discovery is like, there's no, like greater discovery almost, you know? Yeah. So you can't go to a different place to like, what do you like, you know? Yeah. Like, 

[01:17:57] Mike: whatcha are you 

[01:17:58] Toliy: gonna do? Yeah. You know? Um, but I don't know why exactly. Like those people did, did not get to that like point, like, I, I don't, I don't know if it was like 

[01:18:08] Eldar: that time.

[01:18:08] I don't think they, I, I like when you're talking, it made me think about, about that. Um. It's very hard to dispel the things that you believe in that are not true. It requires a crazy amount of like humility to be, come here, come here, or come anywhere and say, every time, be like, yo, not, you Don't come and say, Hey, I'm an idiot, this is what I believe in.

[01:18:32] But to come in and show that you're an idiot. And then to take the heat and then to come in every single day and take the heat. 

[01:18:38] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:18:39] You know, because that is the key to empowerment, is to undoing the things that you did to yourself. The negative self-talk, the fake, the beliefs that you think about the world of how it operates.

[01:18:49] Yeah. The beliefs that you have about yourself, you know, that are not true. So that is the big key here. And I don't know what kind of, I mean, I mean, it takes a crazy amount of stamina to come in and to prove to yourself and, and then say, actually I want to come in here and prove to my, to myself and to everybody that I'm an idiot about all the things I'm wrong about.

[01:19:11] And to come in here, day in, day in, day in for however long it takes. And then just keep doing it. 'cause that's, I think that's just life, bro, for forever. You're gonna just keep proving yourself like, Hey, I don't know this, I didn't know this. I was wrong about this belief system. 

[01:19:27] Eldar: You know? Yeah. I wanna roll off of what you said, Mike, and I think that the way we are programmed, at least that phenomena, that Tony's talking about, that sometimes like we go, go up for air and we go back down, that's automatic enough because I don't think we can take in all that stuff that you're talking about on a daily basis.

[01:19:42] Yeah. Like, you cannot just have Harris come in here and they're like, okay, take your pants off. We're gonna shame you. You know what I mean? Like, it's just impossible. You will not be able to survive. You literally die, you know? Yeah, I agree. So that's why it happens where the flareups happen once in a while.

[01:19:54] Yeah. Right? Because he needs to go and like relax a little bit underneath. Yeah. As with the barnacles, you know? Yeah, 

[01:19:59] Toliy: yeah. 

[01:20:00] Eldar: Uh, 

[01:20:00] Toliy: but, but you know what's funny? And, and I feel like, like, like, uh, like, I mean, it's outs like Har Har Harris has some of that too. I feel like if you're someone who, who has like a bunch of anxiety, right?

[01:20:13] Mm-hmm. You're like. Used to dealing with like, like crazy scenarios that like aren't actually real. Yeah. And like for the people that need them to actually happen to be real, for them to feel that way. Yeah. Like those tests will happen less to the pe to those people where the people who like can create these imaginary mm-hmm.

[01:20:31] Like fake scenarios and then suffer on them. 

[01:20:34] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:20:34] Toliy: Like they're, they're like constantly up against some like tragedy almost. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like in, in the anxiety world, you know? Yeah. 

[01:20:43] Eldar: So it's almost like an advantage. 

[01:20:45] Yeah. I wanted to add something to what you just said. It made me think, I think you definitely can come in here and take like that crazy heat every day, but I think what happens is there's, it depends what you do when you outside, right?

[01:20:59] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:20:59] Like, you come in here and you, I don't want, I'm not sure what word to use, but when you go outside and you start sinning Yeah. Against yourself and against the world. 

[01:21:06] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:21:06] Depending how severe that is. Mm-hmm. That is gonna keep delaying. The goodness that you're able to receive by coming here and being honest.

[01:21:13] Mike: Possibly. Yeah. Yeah. You know, 

[01:21:14] that's my thought. So if you go outside and you still continue to engage in those bad habits, like you come here, do philosophy, you help people, and then at night you go rob people or you, or you assault people, you kill people or you like whatever it is you do, and you come back here and you do philosophy.

[01:21:28] Mm-hmm. That's crazy disparity. But if you go outside and you, like, you become, you are cautious, like, Hey, I don't want to get into disengagement. I don't wanna get into that engagement. Yeah. Because it's like you take one step in the right direction. Mm-hmm. Just call it, and then you take one step in the wrong direction.

[01:21:43] Mm-hmm. When is the path gonna actually join? 

[01:21:46] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:21:46] You know, that's what it made me think about. 

[01:21:48] Toliy: Yeah. And like, like I, like I would think that it's like a, uh, time scenario, you know? But I think also it's been proven on different levels that like time is not the only like, uh, variable here, player here. Like Yeah.

[01:22:00] 'cause peop like we've known people for a long time. Yeah. And we've known people for short time just to find out that we didn't know those people at all. Yeah. And, and it's not to say that, that the people that. Been with us for a long term time, like people who've been with us for a while also left.

[01:22:17] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[01:22:17] Toliy: Right. Um, so it's not necessarily a time thing. So I don't know like what it actually is. I think it's, 

[01:22:24] I think it's that big kicker is that when they're, when you're in the philosophy bubble, what you do here, it depends how bad you go outside and do what you do when you're out there. Think about, for example, Dee, he was here for many years with us, I guess not re in and out of this philosophy about both times.

[01:22:41] Mm-hmm. But then he would go outside, what would he do? Mm-hmm. He would do crazy shit. You know what I'm saying? 

[01:22:47] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:22:48] That's why you think you are like helping yourself, let's say, you know, to mm-hmm. Improve the quality of your life. But then when you leave this bubble mm-hmm. Which tries to promote doing the right thing for yourself Yeah.

[01:23:00] And you go outside and do that. Mm-hmm. It negates everything. Well, yeah. And what happens is. You come in, let's just say we all came in as sinners, right? Mm-hmm. We came in with our sinners, and we have certain things that we do as sinners, right? Like, I don't know what does, like a person who's a biker do when they not like [01:23:20] a, they want to change their life, or a drug addict, right?

[01:23:21] Mm-hmm. They don't come to aa and then they go back to hanging out with the alcoholic friends, right? Mm-hmm. There's a reason for that. 

[01:23:28] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:23:29] Because that's no longer part of their life. Mm-hmm. So if you have nothing to replace those moments when you're on your own, or hobbies, or interests, or you know mm-hmm.

[01:23:38] Relaxation things, you're gonna resort to the way you used to do these things. Mm-hmm. Or the interests you had, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, whatever. Bikers do whatever. Mm-hmm. Or alcoholics do, right? Yeah. But when you're in the bubble of this AA meeting, you are a good person. You're trying to fucking, you know, open up, pour your heart out, open up, but then when you come outside and you start like, Hey, you do what's familiar?

[01:23:59] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:24:00] Gravity. Gravity. So once you recognize that the gravity. Is no longer serving the new person you're trying to become. 

[01:24:07] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:24:07] You can disconnect with that identity and start to question, Hey, what do I want to fill my time with when I come outta here? 

[01:24:12] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:24:12] I wanna get in trouble again. Oh no. Yeah. Okay.

[01:24:15] Go. You're gonna delay your progress. Progress, but if you don't Yeah. You stay outta trouble. Yeah. It's easier to bounce back into the bubble. 'cause you didn't really go too far away from it. 

[01:24:26] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:24:27] You're not out there running amuck. Yeah. So that, that's how I visualized it. 

[01:24:30] Eldar: Yeah, I agree. So here are my final thoughts, Harris.

[01:24:33] Mm-hmm. They're gonna be directed to you. Mm. Because I know you have some final thoughts as well, right after mine. No. 'cause you got so empowered this conversation uhoh. I totally just sneezed. Uh, I think that if you continue with the plan, I think that you will see some success. Mm-hmm. Right. And through seeing that success, I think that it'll, you'll.

[01:24:59] Naturally, organically will start to empower yourself in those areas. Not everywhere, right. But in some of the areas. Yeah. Right. I think if you stick to it long enough, and like Mike said, bridge the gap between just being here in this bubble, practicing stuff, but also take it out there into the world.

[01:25:16] You're gonna start to change as an individual. You're gonna start empowering yourself and becoming better long enough. It's gonna be you who you are, and then you're gonna be able to stand on something where if you go out there, you can start, you know, not be so wishy-washy. Right? You can be yourself, and not a lot of people can tell you what to do and how to do it, because you then gonna be empowered with the knowledge that you've not only gotten, but you've also practiced, and then you became, so that's the, that's the equation right there.

[01:25:47] You know, keep practicing the stuff that we're doing. Keep doing it. Be a good student. Right. Follow through, ask questions, and long enough you'll see that that stuff will empower you and you'll be much better, you'll be a much better place. You have to persevere. 

[01:26:02] Harris: Mm-hmm. 

[01:26:03] Eldar: You know, if you want it, you'll get it.

[01:26:04] Harris: I have a lot of work ahead of me, you know, long journey. I'm gonna try my best to keep pushing on and staying on the right road. Mm-hmm. Only time will tell if I actually get to the point. Can you, you believe in yourself? Like, you believe you could do it? Yeah. A little bit. Somewhat. Somewhat. Okay. Yeah.

[01:26:22] Eldar: Alright. 

[01:26:23] Harris: I still, you know, 

[01:26:24] Eldar: well, that's, that's a fair assessment. Yeah. 

[01:26:27] Harris: I still have to, you know, continue on the plan. Yeah. And the farther. Father's plane? No. The farther we get down the road, 

[01:26:35] Eldar: yeah, 

[01:26:36] Harris: the more I think I'll start to I agree. See the, the true path. 

[01:26:40] Eldar: Yeah. Alright. Thank you. Thank you. Alright guys.

[01:26:43] Thank you.