220. You don't want it

Why do so many of us stay stuck in a compromised state—unable to focus, get what we want, or break through the hump—while our minds stay cluttered with things we claim to “care about”?

In this Part 2 episode of the Dennis Rox Podcast, Eldar, Toliy, and Mike dig deep into the power of focus, the hidden cost of a noisy mind, and why most people never realize they’re operating from a compromised frame. Toliy shares his recent (and still unfolding) experience of decluttering his mind—how much better everything becomes once the constant checking, sports noise, anxiety loops, and low-grade interests stop hijacking attention.

They explore why we allocate massive brain capacity to polished external systems (NFL, teams, brands, status symbols) while starving our own self-esteem and identity. The conversation hits hard on ownership, humility, the phrase “you don’t want it,” ranking what you actually care about (and the internal conflict that creates), and how actions—not stories—reveal the truth. Mike brings the lived experience of making mistakes on purpose to un-convince yourself of false theories about who you are.

Key takeaways:

• Most people live in a compromised state they cannot see.
• Your “cares” are often identity fillers born from low self-esteem—not genuine priorities.
• Real ownership begins when you admit “I don’t want it” and stop defending the ego.
• Ranking your cares creates productive conflict; your actions will either align or expose the lie.
• A non-focused mind blinds you to the exact things that require your attention.

Most insightful moment: Toliy drops the line that frames the entire episode: “People are in a compromised state and they’re unaware that they’re compromised.”

The guys also land on a striking analogy that reframes how we scatter ourselves across endless interests… and what it actually costs us.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re spinning your wheels, juggling a full plate that somehow still feels empty, or wondering why the things you “care about” never move the needle—this one’s for you.

Listen now, then subscribe so you don’t miss the next raw conversation. Share it with someone who’s still defending their distractions. Leave a review if the episode forced you to look at your own list.

The biggest heist isn’t happening in the dark. It’s happening in broad daylight—and most of us are handing over our attention willingly.

Feel stuck and can't actualize? We'd love to hear your story - form  - https://forms.gle/joegCWQ7mHt7eN3K9

Transcript

[00:00:00] Dennis: On this week's episode 

[00:00:01] Toliy: I'm just like dumbfounded as to how much better things get when you declutter like your mind. And I also had no idea as to how many things that I actually Was holding. 

[00:00:13] Mike: Going out there doing the action you help yourself to prove to yourself that you're wrong about what theories you developed in your head about who you are What you can do who you want to be and what you want to be doing and why you want to be doing it 

[00:00:25] Toliy: People are in a compromised state and they're unaware that they're compromised.

[00:00:29] Eldar: So if you're one of those people that are listening that don't necessarily get what they want out of life, this one's for you.

[00:00:42] All right, guys, welcome to the Dennis Rocks podcast. This is an official introduction without brother Toliy, even though Toliy's here. Toliy's on a mic, Mike's on a mic, and Eldar's on the mic, for those who are just, just chi- uh, tuning in. And I guess those who are with us for a long period of time, then welcome back.

[00:01:01] Last week, we talked about a big topic when it comes to, I think, uh, self-improvement and the ability to finally, um, maybe carve out your own time for yourself and not allow the external world, like social media and other distractions, to hijack your mind, right? And constantly take away your attention from focusing on yourself and bettering yourself.

[00:01:24] Toliy was the, the big subject because he's kinda going through the whole thing and, um, a lot of times he'll go through epiphanies where he realized something, something really big, and he ties to a lot of the different things that actually affect him in a very personal way, and focus was one of those things.

[00:01:41] And, uh, this is like a big thing right now. So we're gonna do part two on the importance of focus, the ability to focus, how to focus, why to focus, and, um, and maybe Toliy can maybe explain to us, um, some of the fascination that he has about focus right now. I guess the more he's experiencing this ability to actually focus on the things that he wants to focus, I guess it gives him an immense confidence or positive outlook, energy, and all those things that are positive about, uh, working on yourself and slowly chipping away at, uh, being a, b- having the ability to, uh, you know, reclaim your focus or your attention span in the world that we're currently in, which is very attention-driven.

[00:02:25] You know, it's ADHD everywhere, pretty much everyone has it, where we don't have attention spans anymore. So Toliy- Mm-hmm ... please, Brother Toliy, bless us- ... uh, with the insights of some of the things that you're experiencing when it comes to focus because you, you started to focus this week. You had a really good week, you said.

[00:02:41] And, um, some of the things you're experiencing I think can be very insightful for people, especially those who are looking for themselves. 

[00:02:50] Toliy: Yeah, I think that at least for me, I've always struggled with accomplishing something or, like, getting over the hump on something, you know? And it's, um... For me, it's always been, like, a very tolling and painful- process, and it's always difficult to figure out, like, why you can't get what you want a- out of something, right? Out of 

[00:03:09] Eldar: life in 

[00:03:10] Toliy: general? Yeah, yeah, out of, like, life or out of, like, something that you're trying to accomplish or improve upon. Like, why can't you get over, like, the hump as they say, right?

[00:03:17] Or, like, why, why can't you break through or, like, do it? And a lot of people, they, they will always, like, of course, have, like, reasons as to why something's maybe not working out and may- and maybe, like, they're angry at the world or maybe they're angry at themselves or maybe they're angry at, like, people around them or maybe they're, they're angry at particular, like, rules or circumstances or whatever it is.

[00:03:43] They're definitely, like... No, no one can live, I think, without reason as to why something is not... ev- everyone has to have a reason for everything. They you can't live in, like, an I don't know type of mindset- That's, that's your- ... and just 

[00:03:57] Eldar: continue. That's another theory, completely different.

[00:03:58] Yeah. 

[00:03:59] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:03:59] Eldar: That's an interesting theory too. 

[00:04:00] Toliy: Yeah, like, there, there has to be an expl- everyone has to have some kind of explanation for things. Whether it's true or not, there, there has to be, be one for you to, like- 

[00:04:08] Eldar: Function ... 

[00:04:09] Toliy: function. 

[00:04:10] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:04:10] Toliy: To, to me, I find it a fascinating process when someone goes about just the whole process of trying to learn something, to do something, apply something, some- something, optimize something, whatever it is.

[00:04:23] And to me, I find it fascinating because- Everyone's going into it with, like, who they are, like, at, like, a core, and then they go into it, like, um, with their particular set of skills or lack of skills, but it's just, like, who they are, what they are, and everyone has unique ways of doing things, of learning things, and of explaining things.

[00:04:45] But to me, there's a... I see a fundamental issue where many people's minds, I think, care about way too many things to be able to even grasp what's going on, and the problem I feel that people have is that by not addressing this, they're continuously operating from, like, a compromised state that they don't know of.

[00:05:07] People are in a compromised state, and they're unaware that they're compromised. Are you- 

[00:05:11] Eldar: So- Are you mentioning that the state is compromised because, uh, the people that are trying to go on these journeys are actually not accomplishing what they're atten- intent to accomplish, accomplish? 

[00:05:20] Toliy: Yeah, they have a perpetual thing of, like, not getting what they want out of life.

[00:05:23] Like, that, that's the thesis that this is who this is for. 

[00:05:26] Eldar: Okay, so there you go. And- If you're listening, and if you're one of those people that identify, Catherine likes to say this- Yeah ... I'm always the person who doesn't get what they want. 

[00:05:32] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:05:33] Eldar: So if you're one of those people that are listening that don- don't necessarily get what they want out of life, this one's for you.

[00:05:38] Toliy: Yeah, and, and it doesn't have to be, like, overall, but it could be specific things, right? But, like, everyone, I think, is trying to chip away at something or do something or improve something or, like, that... I mean, that's the whole point of, like- Existing ... being, being alive, right? Is that- Yeah ... you're trying to, to do something, right?

[00:05:56] So to me, it's like, yeah, like, every mo- mostly, I think everyone is in a a compromised f- um, frame of mind, but they don't know it. And I don't know, like, how you can listen to this if you're in that compromised state of mind and whether, like, this'll sound just, like, retarded completely- Mm

[00:06:16] or, like, you know, or, like... Yeah, I don't know. Like, I, I don't even know how you can begin to believe that there's a different way of doing things because, like, yeah, I mean, I had no idea. 

[00:06:26] Eldar: So how did you come to this conclusion that you can actually do things in a much better mind frame or with focus? 

[00:06:33] Toliy: Yeah, for me, it's only, like, been, like, about a week.

[00:06:38] Or, or maybe like less even. But yeah, for me, I'm just like dumbfounded as to like how much better things get when you declutter like your mind, and I also had no idea as to how many things that I actually- 

[00:06:54] Eldar: Was holding ... 

[00:06:54] Toliy: cared about. Because like someone could say like, "Yeah, like, like, um, football is my sport.

[00:06:59] Yeah, like I care about football." Okay, when you say that phrase like, "I care about football," it kind of sounds like, maybe very small, right? Like, "You care about football, all right." That, that's just like whatever, you know? Mm-hmm. But when you actually dissect how much information you take in just on the form of football, whether it's like you watching particular shows, whether you're using like social media apps to figure out what's going on, whether you're just using like a, you know, like a Bleacher Report or an ESPN to keep track of scores or whatever's going on, I think that many people underestimate how much brain capacity that they're allocating towards the things that they currently like or care about.

[00:07:44] And I think that like the examination of these things, and I think that if you were to right, right now make a list of like everything you care about, and then you... And then someone said, "Okay, like here's, here's like a pool of everything that you care about," right? 

[00:08:00] Eldar: Mm-hmm. "

[00:08:00] Toliy: Now put it in order of what you care about the most to like least," I think that it would be impossible for you to be honest in making that list.

[00:08:09] Because if like a third party audited like your actions, I think they would give you reasons as to why they disagree with your selections. 

[00:08:19] And it would be- 

[00:08:21] Eldar: But how- ... 

[00:08:21] Toliy: proven by the actions that you take. 

[00:08:23] Eldar: So why do you emphasize this point? 

[00:08:25] Toliy: Because like no one's gonna go out and say like, "Yeah, like I care more about football than I do about my family."

[00:08:32] Eldar: Hmm, you're 

[00:08:33] Toliy: right. You know? Some, some crazy, you know, like outlier junkies might be like, "Yeah, like this is life," you know? 

[00:08:39] Eldar: Yeah, mm-hmm. 

[00:08:39] Toliy: For example. But I think the average fan is not gonna actually say like, "Hey, I actually love the New York Giants more than I love my mother." 

[00:08:48] No one's gonna say that, like ac- actually.

[00:08:50] Yeah. Unless they're saying it in like, you know, jest,

[00:08:52] if you were, if, so if they were to make a list that say, "Hey, mom is here. I love my mom. You know, Yankees are here." You know, like in between this, this, you know, job, like whatever. This is important, this is important. Health, right? But then you take a look at what they're doing and how they're doing it, you would be like, "Wait, you actually don't care about these things."

[00:09:14] And I don't, and I think that people would have a hard time like admitting that or facing that, which is why I think people don't do it to be- to begin with. 

[00:09:24] Mike: Okay. 

[00:09:24] Toliy: You know? So like yeah, overall to me it's the fascination as to like what you're actually capable and what are the actual reasons that are holding you back from doing what you actually want, want to do, is that like, yeah I think in most cases people are completely wrong as to why.

[00:09:41] But I also see how it's very difficult to like see something that doesn't like, try to see something that doesn't exist, and I feel like the thing I'm talking about, it doesn't like, it exists but it doesn't exist. It only exists once you see it. Mm. But it doesn't exist when you don't see it. So how do you even like, 

[00:09:58] Eldar: so what was the turning point for you to finally see what you're seeing now? 

[00:10:02] Toliy: Yeah, I don't know. Like for me it's like I got like a glimpse of it and like, yeah, for a long time like I couldn't just like sit down and just like do a task I really wanted or like learn about something or like accomplish like something or like be focused on some- something like that.

[00:10:19] That to me is, was al- always very, very hard. I would always wanna check things like check sports, check like this, check that, see what's going on there, know what's going on there. 

[00:10:29] Eldar: Mm. 

[00:10:29] Toliy: What does that person say about this? Well, what, what does that person say about this? Sh- just like of all things going on that like I'm interested in.

[00:10:36] And my mind was always filled with that.

[00:10:38] Eldar: You're a noisy fucker. 

[00:10:39] Toliy: Yeah. Like that and then like um, probably like anxiety related things. That definitely fills your mind- 

[00:10:46] ... 

[00:10:46] Toliy: Really easily. So yeah, to me it's like it, it's really difficult to progress if you have a noisy mind. 

[00:10:55] But I don't know how you can- Like know that, that, that this is what you have and who you are.

[00:11:03] Um- 

[00:11:04] Eldar: Well, you started digging because you clearly were like, "Okay, I have these goals, I have these as- as- aspirations to accomplish things," but you couldn't get it started. You couldn't- 

[00:11:14] Toliy: Yeah, but I've al- You couldn't- Yeah, but I've always had these goals. I've always had these aspirations. 

[00:11:17] Eldar: But you never knew, you kinda never knew- 

[00:11:18] Toliy: Well, no.

[00:11:18] In those moments I did know, and that's why I made the choices I made because I said, "No, I gotta learn this," or, "No, I gotta do that." 

[00:11:24] Or like, "No, I just need to, you know, eat healthy," or like, "I need to do this-" Mm ... or like, I n- like at different moments we're all convinced, right? As to like what we need to do to get what we want.

[00:11:35] We're convinced of it for- Mm ... for sure, right? 

[00:11:37] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:11:38] Toliy: We're not saying like, "Hey, it could be like 22 different things and I'm actually gonna go across testing all of them." 

[00:11:45] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:11:45] Toliy: Like no, no one does that. Everyone's like, "No, no. You know, hey, what I need is I n- I need a new job. I need a fresh start," or like- 

[00:11:51] "Hey, like actually if I get that $5,000 MacBook, you know, like Tommy style- 

[00:11:56] Eldar: I know a guy ... 

[00:11:56] Toliy: I'll, I'll be able to like, you know- Yeah ... code this. Uh, yeah all I'm missing is that $10,000 Apple Watch. You know, it's like as soon as I get that it'll be smooth sailing." 

[00:12:05] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:12:05] Toliy: You know? "Oh no, I just need enough money to sit in like a cozy cafe and-" 

[00:12:09] Afford. No, I just need an apartment, you know, or like... Like, so like you're gonna continuously go about things. Mm. And I think that like that, that, that goes probably along with like the whole like, um, Jim Carrey thing, right? About like, wishing p- people to get all the money to realize that it's not it.

[00:12:27] But like to actually believe that you have to if, if you're a non-believer of that then you have to exhaust those things, right? 

[00:12:33] Eldar: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:12:34] Toliy: Same thing for like yourself is like everyone has all these r- things or reasons that they need to d- to like to do in order to get what they want, and they continuously will keep trying to do them and keep coming up with new things.

[00:12:47] Eldar: Excuses. 

[00:12:48] Toliy: Or they get put in boxes by society. 

[00:12:51] Where society says, "Hey you got rent due?" I don't give a fuck what you think. Yeah. I need you to do this job, and because you have no other choice right now, you're gonna shut your mouth and do it. 

[00:13:03] Eldar: Priorities. 

[00:13:03] Toliy: That's it. Yes.

[00:13:04] Eldar: Obligations. 

[00:13:05] Toliy: Obligations, right? Up until you're, like... But internally, you're fucking complaining, and you're pissed, and you grow angry. 

[00:13:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:13:12] Toliy: And, like, you still try to find ways out, and you try to, still try to do things, um, but I also think that many people just get exhausted in, in this type of cycle, and they're like, "I can't think about this anymore," 

[00:13:22] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:13:22] Toliy: And then they, they just go with the conclusion of like, hey, like, yeah, life just sucks. You gotta fucking, you know, suck it up and- 

[00:13:29] Eldar: Yeah. Do what 

[00:13:30] Toliy: you gotta do ... this is what it is. Okay. So yeah, to me, it's like a very strange topic 'cause I feel like it's like... Yeah, like, I, like, I almost don't know what we're talking about, but I do know what we're talking about.

[00:13:41] Eldar: No, I think it's pretty clear. And it's like, uh- I mean, uh, I, I'm gonna get Mike to chime in in here shortly because I think that, um, any time we discuss if we've discovered an avenue that we wanna focus on, a lot of times there's a lot of distractions in our lives that'll hold us away from it.

[00:13:58] However, those distractions are always, uh, most, most of the time hide in plain sight, and they're disguised themselves as things that, quote-unquote, "serve us." But really, when you start examining them, you realize that they don't serve us at all. 

[00:14:13] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:14:14] Eldar: So Mike, or at least Mike's, A lot of times he mentions this, this, um, strategy, right, or effort, is to try to use the process of elimination.

[00:14:23] Toliy: Sub- subtracting, yeah, and, and that's- Subtract 

[00:14:24] Eldar: certain things. 

[00:14:25] Toliy: Yeah, and, and that's exactly uh, along the terms of what I'm talking about. But, but there's, like, two funny phenomenons. Mm-hmm. If, if you watch, like, any movie, right, where, like, someone is learning from someone, when that person who allegedly knows says, "Hey don't do this, remove this, remove that," the, the student right away is like, "I'm not fucking doing that," right?

[00:14:45] Yeah. Like, they're, they're always, like, in resistance mode. 

[00:14:47] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:14:48] Toliy: What do you mean? You just said that this is what you wanna do, and you're trying to learn from this per- person. Yeah. He's telling you, "Do this, and do that." And then 

[00:14:53] Eldar: you have that adverse 

[00:14:53] Toliy: reaction. But you have the adverse reaction of resistance.

[00:14:55] Why? 

[00:14:56] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:14:56] Toliy: Because y- you think that you know better or, like- You know better, yeah ... you're attached to particular things. 

[00:15:00] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:15:01] Toliy: So that's one thing. But to me the larger variable here thing is really I think, unpacking what, it's it's to me, it's unfathomable as to how many things you actually care about the, like every person cares about.

[00:15:17] Like th- this, this list is like ginormous I think. 

[00:15:20] Because we just kind of like bundle things into like categories, like, like I said, like football, right? 

[00:15:25] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:15:26] Toliy: But then there's a million shows about it. There's a million stats. There's there's many teams. There's a million play- players. Yeah.

[00:15:32] There's a million personalities who talk about the players. There's a million coa- there's like a bunch of coaches. 

[00:15:38] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:15:38] Toliy: There's so much within that, and if you're gonna say that you care about this, you're gonna na- na- like naturally, Have your hand in all of these different things. 

[00:15:48] And that's just, like, one aspect.

[00:15:50] Then you talk about a show and that storyline. You talk about this, like, you're... i, I think that the most people's minds are just filled with so much of this stuff that, like, I think it's the last per- person to get any kind of attention is you when you have this. 

[00:16:07] And that's a na- natural thing because, yeah, you, you just have too much to think about and do.

[00:16:13] Like, I don't, I don't see how you can prioritize your- yourself when you have so many interests and so many 

[00:16:19] Eldar: other things you care about. But wouldn't you, but wouldn't you say that, or at least beforehand, before you had this epiphany, that also was part of you, and that's your identity that you've built up?

[00:16:26] Like, uh, this sports guy, let's just say, or a fan that knows some shit about some sports and wants to keep up with- So it's, it- ... you know, with the sports ... 

[00:16:33] Toliy: so it, it becomes part of your identity only- 

[00:16:36] Eldar: Yeah, maybe you take pride in it ... 

[00:16:38] Toliy: it, so th- this phenomenon only happens it only happens when you have extremely low self-esteem for yourself.

[00:16:46] Eldar: Oh, now that's a fucking nugget. 

[00:16:49] Toliy: Because you can't find ways or reasons to love yourself- 

[00:16:53] Eldar: Hmm ... 

[00:16:54] Toliy: you can get behind polished systems or polished outcomes. NFL is a money-making machine. It's been around for, like, 100 years. 

[00:17:02] Eldar: They're professional. Yeah. 

[00:17:03] Toliy: This is a smooth operation. 

[00:17:04] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:05] Toliy: They have their shit together.

[00:17:06] Eldar: Wow. That's an 

[00:17:09] Toliy: interesting take. So if you're interested in that and you're invested in that, well, you're part of a smooth operation. 

[00:17:13] Well, now if you look at yourself, you yourself is not a good operation. 

[00:17:16] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:17] Toliy: So because you're- 

[00:17:18] Eldar: So it's easier to identify with 

[00:17:19] Toliy: that ... it's easier to identify with those things- Yeah, 

[00:17:21] Eldar: and 

[00:17:21] Toliy: be part of that

[00:17:21] because those things naturally have high self-esteem. 

[00:17:25] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:25] Toliy: But can you have that type of en- energy to, like, a local Pop Warner league- Yeah ... for example? 

[00:17:30] Eldar: You can't. 

[00:17:31] Toliy: No. 

[00:17:32] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:33] Toliy: Because that, tho- those things don't have status. They don't have money. They don't have power. 

[00:17:37] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:38] Toliy: But those things that you do like, they have usually all of those things, all the things that you don't, don't have in- 

[00:17:42] Eldar: Hmm

[00:17:43] Toliy: internally, which is why you like them so much. 

[00:17:46] Eldar: That's a good take. Mike, what do you think? 

[00:17:48] Mike: About the NFL? Um- Well, 

[00:17:51] Eldar: oh, I, I think that your system here i- is, is a good, is a good- Yeah ... uh, reference point here too. I 

[00:17:56] Mike: think, um- 

[00:17:58] Eldar: That anytime you try to focus, and a lot of times, you know, you went on this podcast and you s- Yeah

[00:18:02] you talked about the stuff that you were doing. A lot of times you referenced that, "Hey, I needed to eliminate certain things that-" Yeah ... "weren't really serving me because- 

[00:18:09] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:18:09] Eldar: it was just overwhelming me." 

[00:18:10] Mike: Yeah, I think I'm gonna give a, like, a, a, to my, in my head, it, it's, like, a funny example. Sometimes, you know, like you go to a m- to a-- you have to go on a long journey to find the tool that was like right in front of you. 

[00:18:27] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:27] Mike: Right? To pick it up and say, "Actually, you're right," or you don't have to say it to somebody else, but say it to yourself like, "Yeah, you were right." 

[00:18:34] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:18:34] Mike: I've been looking for this wrench, but it's been in front of me.

[00:18:37] I held it like 100 times, but I was like, "Ah, it's not it." So why I say that is because, like, um, part of this discovery, you know, like listening to Toliy, part of the discovery, it's not necessarily finding the tool, it's you taking the ownership of finding it. You have to discover what you need to discover yourself.

[00:18:59] Not necessarily the approach is different or the strategy is different. We need to get there ourselves, maybe in a design, kind of natural design kind of way, a humbling process kind of way, because I, I was talking to, to-- I was talking to, to our fr- uh, to War- ... and, you know- This guy right here?

[00:19:16] Warren: Oh, wow, we live? 

[00:19:17] Mike: That guy. Oh, wow, we live? Yeah, I was talking to War, and I was like, and asking like, you know, help me to understand, like help build confidence, talk to girls. 

[00:19:25] Warren: Mm-hmm. 

[00:19:25] Mike: Right? That's one thing that I've been struggling with. And I'm like, I'm realizing more, it's like nobody can teach you how to do anything really, and not, not...

[00:19:33] I mean, they can, but the thing is you have to, in the process of the learning, you have to take ownership of it, and then you can make it your own. Not necessarily that everybody has a different strategy on how they talk to girls or do anything, right? It's about you Taking ownership of that approach in whatever you're trying to do.

[00:19:51] And in order to find that, you have to go out there and experiment and, uh, and try things. So I think that's the big kicker. But in order to say, like, "Hey, I'm gonna go try this," you have to humble yourself because you think you know some shit, you think you understand some shit, you think you... Like, you're arrogant, 

[00:20:07] Eldar: yeah, I think it's a very good point. I think there's a clear equation that you're talking about, that if you actually understand and actually take a very maybe humble approach to it- 

[00:20:17] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:20:17] Eldar: you can actually uncover, but it has to be through you. 

[00:20:20] Mike: Yes. But the process that you need to go through is actually humbling.

[00:20:24] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:20:24] Mike: And then you can say, and you don't have to say it to anybody. You need to admit- Yeah ... "Hey, I was arrogant." Yeah. You just need to say, "Hey, y- you've been here, this fucking wrench has been here my whole life." 

[00:20:34] Eldar: Yeah. "

[00:20:34] Mike: I could have picked you up fucking 10 years ago." Mm-hmm. "But I was too arrogant to because I thought I knew better-" 

[00:20:40] Eldar: Mm-hmm

[00:20:40] Mike: you know, than this fucking thing." B- and, but i- in that process, you humble yourself, but you also... And you take ownership of it, which I think, at least that's my observation of it. 

[00:20:50] Eldar: So how does the transfer of ownership happens? 

[00:20:52] Mike: By humbling yourself and allowing... There's some... I, I don't know, I'm just thinking about it now.

[00:20:58] Yeah. But there's something that happens when you humble yourself- 

[00:21:00] Eldar: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:21:00] Mike: and you use those tools that are available to you, which I think maybe in a way those tools allow you, or I'm not sure, or maybe you allow those tools to bring out the best version of yourself. So there's some kind of thing where you're able to use those tools because of you humbled yourself and you can now actually do things that you're meant to do.

[00:21:22] Be yourself, be confident, right? 

[00:21:25] Eldar: But how do you take ownership is the question. 

[00:21:26] Toliy: I, I just- By- What, once you guys were, like, talk- talking, it just it just, like, uh, tracked back to me in, like, a very funny way as to, like, where this all came from. 

[00:21:38] And I think it had to do also with, like, the ownership, I think, thing.

[00:21:41] But I don't know, a month or maybe, um, may- maybe now more than a month ago you, every day we were doing something and you were saying a phrase, and I think that you birthed the idea. 

[00:21:52] Eldar: Enough. 

[00:21:53] Toliy: No. 

[00:21:53] Eldar: Oh. I don't remember. 

[00:21:55] Toliy: This is within the last 60 days. 

[00:21:56] Eldar: Really? 

[00:21:57] Toliy: Yeah. I think it's, uh, four words.

[00:22:01] Eldar: Four words? 

[00:22:03] Toliy: And it could be said in two different ways. 

[00:22:05] Eldar: Yeah, no, we have a lot of good phrases, man. 

[00:22:08] Toliy: And you weren't saying this phrase to to me 

[00:22:13] Eldar: Really? 

[00:22:14] Toliy: You were saying it actually to somebody that we don't even know. Oh. 

[00:22:21] Eldar: Oh, we don't even know? 

[00:22:22] Toliy: Yeah. Okay. We don't know... you were saying to this person indirectly this phrase.

[00:22:27] Eldar: Can you g- ah, say it. 

[00:22:29] Toliy: Well, well, think about it. 

[00:22:31] Eldar: I thought I knew, but then it slipped when you said- Yeah ... this, we really don't know this person. No, we- 

[00:22:34] Toliy: no, we don't. 

[00:22:36] Eldar: I've said so much sh- shit, um, I mean- 

[00:22:38] Toliy: We, we 

[00:22:38] Eldar: all matter ... especially at a, especially at a stressful, that, that time when I was stressful time- Yeah

[00:22:42] I'm sure I've said so 

[00:22:44] Toliy: many things. You were saying it to somebody famous. 

[00:22:46] Eldar: Oh, somebody famous? 

[00:22:47] Toliy: To people fa- that, that are famous. Not too 

[00:22:48] Eldar: famous. 

[00:22:49] Toliy: Yeah. Who 

[00:22:49] Eldar: the fuck do you think they are? 

[00:22:50] Toliy: No. No.

[00:22:52] Mike: Stop hijacking people's minds. 

[00:22:54] Toliy: No. You, a- and you say, you could say it in two different ways. 

[00:22:57] Mike: Mm. 

[00:22:58] Eldar: You gotta give me a hint.

[00:23:02] Toliy: A hint? 

[00:23:03] Eldar: Just give me one word or something. 

[00:23:04] Toliy: I'm gonna say one word. 

[00:23:05] Eldar: Okay. '

[00:23:06] Toliy: Cause it has to do with that. 

[00:23:07] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:23:07] Toliy: Basketball 

[00:23:10] Eldar: Basketball? That's the hint or that's the word? 

[00:23:13] Toliy: No, that's the hint. 

[00:23:14] Eldar: That's the hint? 

[00:23:15] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:23:17] Eldar: All right. Probably has to be about LeBron James. 

[00:23:18] Toliy: No. So basketball was being played when you said this phrase 

[00:23:23] Mike: Well, we're watching a basketball game.

[00:23:26] The finals 

[00:23:29] Eldar: You're 

[00:23:29] Toliy: going red hot The Knicks Red hot 

[00:23:32] Eldar: Well, the Knicks were, were down- You don't 

[00:23:34] Toliy: want 

[00:23:34] Mike: it 

[00:23:34] Toliy: There we go. Oh. 

[00:23:35] Eldar: You don't want it. 

[00:23:36] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:23:37] Eldar: Yeah. Mm-hmm. They don't want it. 

[00:23:38] Toliy: Yeah. He don't want it, you don't want it. 

[00:23:40] Eldar: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

[00:23:40] Toliy: Right? That's a, that's a 

[00:23:41] Eldar: big ph- I still say this 

[00:23:42] Toliy: in, uh- Yeah ... 

[00:23:42] Eldar: in the Rock Bottom- 

[00:23:43] Toliy: Yeah

[00:23:43] a lot of the time even. So, and, yeah. What, uh, once Mike was saying what he was saying, I was tracking back, like, where'd this all come from? And that's what- Yeah ... to me, comes to mind. 

[00:23:49] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:23:49] Toliy: And when you keep thinking about that I think it, like, I think it's a very powerful thing because it's a very, like, basic phrase.

[00:23:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:23:57] Toliy: But yeah, like, you don't want it. 

[00:23:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:24:00] Toliy: You don't want it. And then you need to- You're right ... figure out what does that actually mean for you as an individual- 

[00:24:05] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:24:05] Toliy: when someone says, like... Because it's so contradicting. It's like, "What do you mean? I do want it, man." Yeah. Like, what the fuck? Yeah.

[00:24:10] Like, you don't think those people wanna score? 

[00:24:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:24:12] Toliy: No, but they don't. 

[00:24:13] Eldar: Yeah, they 

[00:24:13] Mike: don't. 

[00:24:14] Toliy: For e- for example, right? Yeah, yeah. Or if you're doing something, like, you just don't want it. 

[00:24:17] Mike: Yeah, that's right. 

[00:24:18] Toliy: So to explain it to somebody it's like, like, h- the you'd say, like, "What do you mean, Aldar? Of course I want it."

[00:24:24] Like- 

[00:24:24] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:24:25] but again, that's, like, again, that makes me think again that's the ego talking. 

[00:24:29] Eldar: What do you mean? 

[00:24:30] Mike: Like, when the- No, no, no. No ... when the ego- 

[00:24:31] Eldar: He's saying that the phrase actually is, um- It's triggering ... triggering. Yeah. Yeah. It, it, it makes 

[00:24:37] Mike: you- No, no ... trigger something. You just... No, I, I get, yes, I get that.

[00:24:39] No, I'm saying that- 

[00:24:40] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:24:40] Mike: when the person says, "I do want it," but they don't actually believe it- Yeah ... they are being a liar. 

[00:24:44] Eldar: That's right, they're being a liar. 

[00:24:45] Mike: They don't actually believe it. 

[00:24:45] Eldar: Yeah. They don't believe 

[00:24:46] Mike: it. But the thing is, your, their ego's being attacked- 

[00:24:48] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:24:49] Mike: so they have to defend it by saying, "Of course I want it."

[00:24:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:24:51] Mike: Everybody- Yeah ... is gonna say, "Of course you fucking want it." 

[00:24:53] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:24:53] Mike: Nobody goes to do something because, not because they want it. 

[00:24:56] Eldar: Yeah.

[00:24:56] Mike: Yeah. Everybody, you know- 

[00:24:58] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:24:58] Mike: wants 

[00:24:59] Eldar: it or, or- But I, like Toliy said, there is a lot of insight there- Yes ... if you really pay attention and start- Yeah ... say like, "Wait a second, I..."

[00:25:04] You realize that like, yeah, I actually don't want it, and why is that? 

[00:25:07] Toliy: Yeah, I think that you can- Right? 

[00:25:07] Eldar: You can really dig ... 

[00:25:08] Toliy: start it from there. 

[00:25:09] Eldar: Yeah. Well, that's interesting. That's interesting. I, and I think that ownership is baked in in that. 

[00:25:14] Toliy: Yeah, because you have to want it. 

[00:25:16] Eldar: Yeah. In order for you to 

[00:25:17] Toliy: actually want it.

[00:25:18] Well, that's, if you want something, that means that you, you like- Yeah ... you own, you like, you, yeah, you want it. 

[00:25:22] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:25:22] Toliy: Yeah. Not somebody wants it for you. But how do you 

[00:25:23] Mike: go from that process, see, the process of going from you don't want it to, to then wanting it is where you develop the ownership. 

[00:25:28] Toliy: Well, yeah.

[00:25:29] Yeah. I think you have to first realize- 

[00:25:30] Mike: You 

[00:25:30] Toliy: develop character ... I think you first have to realize, and I think I I started to realize along the way is like, yeah, my actions are showing that I don't want this. 

[00:25:37] Mike: That's right. 

[00:25:38] Eldar: That's right. That's just the reality of it. And a lot of times with Rock Bottom Mike, for you, right?

[00:25:41] Mm-hmm. I would go there and I'm like, "Mike, you can do this." "I know you can do this." Mm-hmm. And in his head he's like, "No, I can't, Aldar." And I would bother him to push him enough, and he does it. But that's because I wanted it more for him than he wanted it for himself. 

[00:25:54] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:25:55] Eldar: You know what I'm saying?

[00:25:56] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:25:56] Eldar: So that was the push. But then how do you transfer that ownership onto yourself? It's through convincing yourself that you actually don't want it first. Yeah. You raise that awareness enough- Yeah ... to say, "You know what? I actually don't fucking want this, even though it's somewhere deep inside of me."

[00:26:10] It's like- 

[00:26:11] Toliy: It's almost like a l- letting go to then be able- Yes ... to take- 

[00:26:14] Eldar: Yes ... 

[00:26:15] Toliy: you know? 

[00:26:15] Eldar: Mm-hmm. Yeah ... 

[00:26:16] Toliy: process, but yeah, I just feel that, like- Yeah. To to me, like, I just can't believe, 'cause it, again, it's just so crazy to me when, when I think about it, how much people actually care about and what they actually care about.

[00:26:31] I think that, like, they can only explain, like, may- maybe 10% of the actual s- situation, if that. Mm. But there's 90% of baggage that they care about that they cannot that they don't even, e- either know or understand how to pro- properly explain. And because of that, they're not able to use enough of their mind to do the things that they want to do.

[00:26:53] Mm. And once they're able to let go or free up some of those, those things, I think they're, I think they have, like, an opposite feeling. They're saying they're like, they're like, they can feel like they can do everything. 

[00:27:04] Eldar: They're empowered. 

[00:27:05] Toliy: They're, yeah, they're empowered. Completely empowered, yeah. And they're actually surprised as to what they actually can do.

[00:27:10] Mike: Yeah, that's true. 

[00:27:10] Toliy: And they can't believe it. 

[00:27:11] Eldar: That's true. 

[00:27:12] Mike: Yeah, but, but also what you said, it's also, um- You said people can't do what they wanna do. That's, like, a very questionable thing too. You know, like, uh, who actually... Out of all the things that people say, how many are the things they actually wanna do for themselves, and they actually wanna do, not, not for the, like, for the right actual reasons. Not to, like, prove to other people or to show that they're better or, you know, whatever the reasons are, but actual genuine reasons, because I think that's a kicker. You can't cultivate that mentality with that, without the wrong intentions.

[00:27:53] Well- With the wrong intentions, sorry. 

[00:27:54] Toliy: Well, well, yeah, but I still... But everybody is under the impression that their reasons are the right re- re- reasons. 

[00:28:00] Mike: Sure. Of course. 

[00:28:01] But 

[00:28:02] Toliy: they- So they- Yeah, for sure ... they, they, they have no way of looking at things like, like for example, the concept of proving others wrong.

[00:28:07] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:28:08] Toliy: The only reason you have that mindset that, like, this is a good idea- 

[00:28:12] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:28:12] Toliy: is because you actually believe it. 

[00:28:14] Mike: Well, yeah, because you're operating out of who you actually are. 

[00:28:17] Toliy: So, like, there, there is 

[00:28:18] Mike: no- 

[00:28:20] Toliy: This is a person who has low, low self-esteem or- Well, well, yeah, so there, there actually is no, like, oh, they have they have either good reasons or ba- bad reasons.

[00:28:25] Mm-hmm. Like, they only ha- have their own reasons as to, like- 

[00:28:28] ... 

[00:28:28] Toliy: What they know, and operating from their, um, their assumption as to how things actually work and what is correct- Mm-hmm ... or not correct- 

[00:28:38] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:28:39] Toliy: to, like, do. 

[00:28:40] Um.

[00:28:43] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:44] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:28:45] Mike: Yeah, but that's kind... That's what it is, yeah. Yeah, um. 

[00:28:49] Toliy: Yeah, I feel like if right now, if, like, someone actually... if somebody asked me to help them do something, I think that, like, my whole approach is, like, changed, you know, as to, like, what to do first or how to go about it.

[00:29:02] Eldar: Oh, wow. 

[00:29:03] Toliy: You know? That's 

[00:29:03] Eldar: interesting. 

[00:29:04] Toliy: Yeah, like, I, I think that,

[00:29:06] Eldar: Do share. 

[00:29:07] Toliy: Well, yeah, I feel like- I like it ... yeah, I feel like, 

[00:29:09] Eldar: yeah- Mike's the first candidate. He's like, "Yo." 

[00:29:10] Toliy: Yeah, I feel like that concept of- Please ... of maybe making a list, 'cause everybody wants to actually do s- do something, like, tangible, and no one wants that, like, un- untangible advice, right?

[00:29:21] Of, like, that, like, step. Yeah, 

[00:29:22] Eldar: yeah, yeah. 

[00:29:22] Toliy: Like, well, hey, what, what do I actually do? Oh, be humble. Like, what the fuck, you know? Make 

[00:29:25] Eldar: a list of wake up at 

[00:29:26] Toliy: 5:00 

[00:29:26] Eldar: in the morning. You know? 

[00:29:27] Toliy: You know what I mean? Yeah, like- Yeah ... well, like, everyone wants tangible things, but then also- Yeah ... like, the advice is always like, "Hey, be humble," or, like, "You need more humil-," like, but, like, people don't know what to do then, 

[00:29:36] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:29:36] Toliy: So, like, yeah. My, my, like, one, one of my, the first steps I think would be to, yeah, like, un- understand what people want, and then to make a list of all the things that you care about. 

[00:29:47] And start, like- 

[00:29:48] Eldar: That's interesting ... 

[00:29:48] Toliy: and start trying to untangle that. Yeah. And then seeing... But yeah, and then I think it's also important to, like- To rank it potentially, right?

[00:29:56] Mm-hmm. Because you need to make a commitment. Because one- once you rank it, you say like, "Hey, this is one, this is two," for example, right? Yeah. You, you take a stance actually by doing that. 

[00:30:07] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:30:08] Toliy: So I think by taking a stance, you're automatically going to create a conflict. 

[00:30:12] Eldar: Yeah, you do.

[00:30:12] You probably set yourself up. 

[00:30:13] Toliy: Yes. 

[00:30:15] Eldar: And that's what you're looking for. 

[00:30:16] Toliy: In that sense, yeah. Be- because oftentimes- Internal, internal conflict ... people 

[00:30:20] Eldar: are gonna- Or 

[00:30:21] Mike: external conflict? 

[00:30:22] Toliy: It, it o- oftentimes people are like- Both ... "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that," 

[00:30:25] Eldar: right? Yeah, oh, yeah. Or like, "I 

[00:30:26] Toliy: didn't say that."

[00:30:26] Like 

[00:30:27] Eldar: they- They didn't think 

[00:30:27] Mike: it through. 

[00:30:27] Eldar: Yeah, they didn't think it through. But once you rank things, that, that's it. You ranked them. Mm-hmm. This is what you said that you felt. Yeah. 

[00:30:37] Toliy: Yeah. And then if you go through all these things and you talk in that kind of way, people are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:30:42] Let me s- do it again. Let me start over." Yeah. All right? And now they rank it in the way that actually sounds lo- logical as to how they should do things, right? 

[00:30:50] Eldar: Yes. 

[00:30:51] Toliy: They're gonna try. And I think that's what you can show them, that their actions don't align with this way of this new ranking list that they just made.

[00:30:56] Eldar: By showing them that the, on one to, on, on the first try, they maybe were emotional about it with their feelings. On the second try, it was logical. 

[00:31:03] Toliy: Well, well, no- And those two don't- ... their, their actions naturally would not... this new list would be the ideal way if, like, life was incred- credible- 

[00:31:11] Eldar: Yeah

[00:31:11] Toliy: would be. Like, this was, th- this is how it ideally would be, right? 

[00:31:15] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:31:15] Toliy: But you're not there yet. 

[00:31:16] Eldar: No. 

[00:31:16] Toliy: And you would be proving that, like, just based on, like, how you do things and how you go about life- 

[00:31:21] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:31:21] Toliy: that this new ranking that you had, and then yeah, it would be then trying to achieve that ranking.

[00:31:26] Well, what do you, what has to be done- 

[00:31:27] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:31:28] Toliy: to get there, you know? 

[00:31:29] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:31:30] Toliy: So yeah, to, yeah to me, I'm just fascinated by how much people care about things. 

[00:31:35] Eldar: And after you've ranked the stuff, then what, your advice would be what? To suggest the person to justify those things, and then, uh, start removing things that actually don't serve them if you argued against them?

[00:31:46] Toliy: If they themselves- 

[00:31:48] Eldar: Argue against them. 

[00:31:48] Toliy: Yeah. Okay. That, that I think is a key thing. 

[00:31:51] Mike: I had a different thought- 

[00:31:52] Eldar: Hmm ... 

[00:31:52] Mike: about this- 

[00:31:53] ... 

[00:31:53] Mike: From my own experience. 

[00:31:56] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:31:57] Mike: So one thing I'm, uh, notorious for is making a lot of mistakes. 

[00:32:03] Eldar: Who isn't? 

[00:32:03] Mike: And I think maybe to my benefit or not, I mean, I, I think it's to my benefit, but I think a big factor here, and, um, is probably going out there and trying and failing and not giving up, and, like, and, and keep trying.

[00:32:17] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:32:17] Mike: But making the mistakes, I think part of that, it helps to un-convince what you think you believe and what you think you know- 

[00:32:24] Eldar: Hmm ... 

[00:32:24] Mike: by constantly making the same mistake and not having success. 

[00:32:26] Eldar: Is it because you're learning through the experience, and this is what you need? 

[00:32:29] Mike: Yeah. If you're a little bit dumb like me-

[00:32:31] it takes you a lot more mistakes- 

[00:32:32] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:32:33] Mike: than some people who are a little bit smarter and more sensitive to pain. 

[00:32:35] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:36] Mike: I, and I luckily had both, where I have low sensitivity to pain and- 

[00:32:40] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:32:40] Mike: high stupidity. Yeah. 

[00:32:42] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:42] Mike: So it took a while. So you 

[00:32:43] Eldar: need to actually hit your head against the wall. 

[00:32:44] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, so I think- More 

[00:32:46] Eldar: than once.

[00:32:46] Mike: More than once, yeah, probably. That's, but I think that is an important factor- 

[00:32:50] ... 

[00:32:50] Mike: To go out there and to prove to yourself, right? 

[00:32:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:54] Mike: That you're not about this life, right? This is a mistake. 

[00:32:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:57] Mike: I got into this situation or whatever. 

[00:32:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:59] Mike: Uh, this is not who I am. Or to prove to yourself this is who you are, but also then to develop a tolerance and understanding of what pain is and how to recognize it, and I think- 

[00:33:09] Eldar: Hmm

[00:33:09] Mike: that's at least how I feel part of my journey- Yeah ... you know, is big. I w- definitely made a lot of mistakes, and I made multiple times similar mistakes over and over. But now I feel like I have much more sensitivity to certain things. Um, much more like- 

[00:33:23] Eldar: Which also came from focus, I think, right? 

[00:33:26] Mike: I think it's

[00:33:27] Yeah, I, I didn't think about that. Like, um, but I think, yeah, I'm just b- became more attentive- 

[00:33:32] Eldar: Attentive ... 

[00:33:33] Mike: because the pain is much more- 

[00:33:35] ... 

[00:33:35] Mike: It, the micro shit is like, you know, it, it's much more felt. And 

[00:33:40] Eldar: I think- But you, you became more sensitive. 

[00:33:41] Mike: I became more sensitive where before I didn't. 

[00:33:43] Eldar: Which is, which is then tells me at least that you became smarter.

[00:33:47] Mike: Well, that's what I think, but I had to be stupid for a long time. 

[00:33:50] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:33:51] Mike: But I think that process, obviously for everybody, it takes different times and different, on different subjects- And different ways to get there ... depending on the attachment to the subject too, right? 

[00:33:58] But I think part of that going out there, doing the action, you help yourself to prove to yourself that you're wrong- Mm-hmm

[00:34:03] about what theories you developed in your head about who you are, what you can do, who you wanna be, and what you wanna be doing, and why you wanna be doing it. 

[00:34:11] Eldar: Yeah, but you know, we're very- That was the question a lot ... we're very good at tricking ourselves. Yeah. How do you go, how do you go out there, um- Mm-hmm

[00:34:17] not only go out there religiously and do it- 

[00:34:19] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:34:19] Eldar: but also convince yourself that this is what we're journeying to do versus just kinda like, "All right, I fucked up here. Well, that was their fault." You know what I mean? Or like point the finger- Yeah. Well, that's for sure ... and say like, "That's not my fault.

[00:34:30] I'm not taking ownership on this shit." Yeah. Well, I think- You kind of have like almost like, um, you've realized this about yourself and you say, "You know what? Okay, if we're dumb- 

[00:34:37] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:34:37] Eldar: let's go find out. Let's go-" Well, I think, yeah ... "a- and, and mute our arrogance- 

[00:34:41] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:34:41] Eldar: on the subject matter- Mm-hmm ... in order to tell myself to shut the fuck up- 

[00:34:44] Mike: Yeah

[00:34:44] Eldar: you don't know any better." Yeah. Right? A lot of people can go out there, experiment, and still not t- not learn the humbling lesson of like shutting their mouth. 

[00:34:53] Mike: Yeah. A lot of it obviously was with you guys 'cause I would share- Yeah ... a lot of stuff. 

[00:34:56] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:34:57] Mike: And when I shared more and more, I was, you know, more on the chopping, like, a block to get more, you know- Call me out

[00:35:04] analyzed and humbled and called out where I was wrong. Um, so that was obviously a big help. Um, but I think, I think that was probably it, the big factor. Um, what else?

[00:35:19] Eldar: Yeah, like I think that to some degree you have to have the intention, right? I, yeah. And I think that the, to- Yeah ... to birth that intention was through first of, of maybe a gruesome kind of grilling. 

[00:35:30] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:31] Eldar: Right? When you had maybe a moment of clarity and you're like, "Yo, guys, like I really need you to be on top of me- 

[00:35:36] Toliy: Mm-hmm

[00:35:36] Eldar: because I can't be on top of myself first." 

[00:35:39] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:39] Eldar: Right? And we were, right? Yeah. To a point where it's like, okay, I raised the awareness enough to know that I'm an idiot. 

[00:35:45] But I also raised enough awareness to know that I can go out there and learn through my experience, through hitting my head, but now I'm going there with this thing called intention- Yeah, you know

[00:35:53] in my back, in my back pocket. I 

[00:35:54] Mike: mean- I, this was like a probably one of the biggest motiv- motivator factors for me, right? To keep, to wanna keep journeying in this and, and, and, you know, continuing to do everything and all putting myself in the, in the... What's it called?

[00:36:09] Line of fire? The gauntlet. The gauntlet. Because I felt like, I guess, I guess I fell in love, right? 

[00:36:15] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:36:16] Mike: But then I realized that's not what it was. 

[00:36:18] But I, in tho- I had certain glimpses of it that made me feel really great, and I was... That, that bug is for, like always been a, a driver for me. 

[00:36:28] So I think because of that, like was a hu- uh, I don't know if that's the- And 

[00:36:32] Eldar: you, when you say fall in love, not fall in love with philosophy, but fall in love and with a, in a romantic 

[00:36:36] Mike: way.

[00:36:36] With a romantic, yeah. Okay. Yeah, and I think that pushed me more to fall in love with other stuff, with myself, to love myself. 

[00:36:42] Eldar: That's what started it all. 

[00:36:43] Mike: That's what started it, yeah. Mm-hmm. But I guess if, uh, falling in love and falling with philosophy I guess would essentially be the same thing.

[00:36:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:36:51] Mike: I think that's what they both are. 

[00:36:53] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:36:53] Mike: In order to fall in love. 

[00:36:54] Eldar: I think that you probably, yeah, like you said, like the glimpse came from the fact that like when you fall in love, obviously, right? Mm-hmm. If you digest, I mean, if you dissect it a little bit or zoom in on it it's a very great, it's a great feeling.

[00:37:05] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:05] Eldar: Right? It's like, wow, like this feels so good. 

[00:37:07] Despite the fact maybe you're not like falling in love with, you know, the other person maybe not fall in love with you the same way. Mm-hmm. You're kind of feeling these feelings of euphoria- Mm-hmm ... and all this other stuff. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's like you, your best self.

[00:37:17] The feelings are 

[00:37:17] Mike: amazing. 

[00:37:17] Eldar: Amazing, right? 

[00:37:18] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:37:19] Eldar: And that's the glimpse. And if you somehow ge- that got abrupted- 

[00:37:23] ... 

[00:37:23] Eldar: By the fact that maybe the other person wasn't reciprocating those feelings. 

[00:37:26] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:27] Eldar: Your heart was broken, whatever. Yeah. Whatever happened, right? Yeah. You open that can of worms where it's like, wait, there's more out there than just to be- 

[00:37:34] Mike: Mm-hmm

[00:37:34] Eldar: you know- 

[00:37:34] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:37:35] Eldar: journeying by myself, feeling a certain type of way. 

[00:37:37] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:37:37] Eldar: So then naturally you're gonna start asking questions around like, "Okay, well, how do I get back there? What do I do, and how do I do it?" Yeah. 

[00:37:44] Mike: Because I, like I wa- the way I got there, I would say it was just by accident. 

[00:37:47] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:48] Mike: I, like I definitely wasn't ready- Intending it like that

[00:37:51] intending it. 

[00:37:52] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:37:52] Mike: You know, and I don't think I deserved it obviously, but it's like, I don't know who to blame for giving me that glimpse, but- 

[00:37:58] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:37:59] Mike: uh, life gave me that glimpse. Or, or who to 

[00:38:00] Eldar: thank. 

[00:38:00] Mike: Who to thank, yeah. Yeah. 

[00:38:02] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:38:02] Mike: Who to blame or who to thank, but that glimpse, it like, it put me on the trajectory of wanting to like, get back to it.

[00:38:09] To get kn- to know more. And every time I was trying to get back to it, I kept like- 

[00:38:11] Eldar: You have no tools ... 

[00:38:12] Mike: fucking up, kept fucking up, and I was like, eventually I had to say g- all right,

[00:38:15] Eldar: That's interesting. Yeah. That's interesting. Then, then y- your thing almost was birthed through desire. You had a desire.

[00:38:21] You're like, "Oh, wow, like this- Yeah ... exists and I really want it." 

[00:38:24] Mike: I understood how crazy that was, that feeling, that- 

[00:38:26] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:38:26] Mike: that ability to connect, like- 

[00:38:28] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:38:28] Mike: be so- 

[00:38:29] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:38:30] Mike: in tune with another person and to feel- Yeah ... like 

[00:38:32] Eldar: so 

[00:38:32] Mike: alive. 

[00:38:32] Eldar: And not, not just with your pants- 

[00:38:34] Mike: Not 

[00:38:34] Eldar: with my pants ... on your, down, down your knees.

[00:38:36] No. Okay, cool. Just wanna make sure that- Yeah ... the people that are listening, you know- 

[00:38:39] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:38:40] Eldar: they, they, they think they can visualize different type of connections. 

[00:38:42] Mike: Yes, 

[00:38:43] Eldar: they- Because I know there's some perverts out there like Joe. 

[00:38:45] Mike: Joe, yeah, he's definitely... 

[00:38:47] Eldar: Yeah. He just pictured you naked. 

[00:38:49] Mike: 100%. 

[00:38:50] Eldar: Joe, what the fuck?

[00:38:50] Mike: That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Yeah, so that, that was for me. 

[00:38:55] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:38:55] Mike: But that's just my example of how I got to experience love. 

[00:38:59] Right? But I think we all had an opportunity to experience love. 

[00:39:02] And essentially philosophy is love. Yeah. You 

[00:39:05] Eldar: know? Yeah. It's love for wisdom. 

[00:39:06] Mike: Love for wisdom, yeah.

[00:39:07] Uh- 

[00:39:08] Eldar: And part of that wisdom can potentially live in you, within you. 

[00:39:11] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:39:12] Eldar: And any time that you tap into to that type of wisdom where you actually have glimpses of epiphanies or realizations and then focused efforts- Mm-hmm ... that turn into reality outcomes that you actually desired, you're actually like, "Wait a second, that's fucking great.

[00:39:27] This is awesome," then you're like, your dick gets hard, not just for mulch- 

[00:39:30] Mike: Yes ... 

[00:39:30] Eldar: like mine. 

[00:39:31] Mike: Yes. 

[00:39:31] Eldar: You know what I mean? And speaking of that, Toliy, share a little bit of the, of that energy that you talked about that you had this week from being able to focus and realize like, "Holy shit, like this exists."

[00:39:41] Yeah, I 

[00:39:41] Toliy: mean, I was just like on like a recurring basis I was just fascinated. 

[00:39:46] But to, to, like, when I speak about it I feel, I just feel like it sounds like this, like a basic thing, you know? Like, oh, like just you can sit down and for like two hours straight like focus on something and do something.

[00:40:01] Uninterrupted 

[00:40:02] Eldar: or without interruptions. 

[00:40:02] Toliy: That to me is like a complete... Yeah, that, that to me is like a completely foreign- 

[00:40:07] ... 

[00:40:07] Toliy: Ability. Yeah. Completely. Like- Yeah, like, um, I'm like... Like, I can't, like, I usually can't sit still and, like, I'm, like, constantly ADD'd out on, like, everything, yeah.

[00:40:20] So to, to me, just to be able to do that and just to be able to, like, properly organize my thoughts and progress on something for extended period of time to me is crazy. 

[00:40:31] Eldar: So you surprise yourself? 

[00:40:32] Toliy: Yeah, like absolutely. Like, like I can't believe it, you know? 

[00:40:35] Eldar: And you're excited. 

[00:40:37] Toliy: Well, yeah. To me it's like, yeah, it's like when...

[00:40:39] But and it's a very, like... To, to me it's a very, um- 

[00:40:43] Eldar: Early, early days. 

[00:40:45] Toliy: The, the, uh, that, but it, it's an it's, it's an actual conscious feeling- 

[00:40:49] ... 

[00:40:49] Toliy: To me. 

[00:40:50] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:40:50] Toliy: You know? Where you can actually, like, point and do, like, okay, this, that. Okay, this next. Okay, this now. 

[00:40:56] Eldar: Wow. 

[00:40:57] Toliy: Right? Like, that to me is, like, a crazy, like, a, like- 

[00:41:00] Eldar: Superpower

[00:41:01] Toliy: yeah, like I can't even fathom, fathom that,

[00:41:03] Eldar: sure. 

[00:41:04] Toliy: But, like, someone's like, "Yeah, what, what do you mean? You just, like, sit down and do, like, three tasks?" You know, like- 

[00:41:08] It's, it sounds so s- simple, but to to me at least as a, a person, it's like, yeah, it's not like, um... It's not believable yet.

[00:41:17] Yeah. Like, I'm still in the, like, I can't believe this phase, you know? Yeah. So naturally when I get that and I f- like, I can't believe something, yeah, then, then I definitely wanna keep, like, digging and keep trying to figure it out. And to me it's like, I, like, a- as, like, each day passes it's like more calmness happens, and it's like less cluttering happens, and it just, like, it, yeah, it continues- Things fall into 

[00:41:42] Eldar: place.

[00:41:42] Toliy: Yeah, like, it continues to, Like, the upkeep of this continues to give me an opportunity to live that day how I want to actually live it without, like, any, like, guilt or, like, regret or, like, anger or, like, fru- frustration. And I, like... That to me is, like, a priceless daily feeling. Yeah. And I, I don't think I've ever had that.

[00:42:05] You know, I've never had that- Wow ... where, like, that can actually happen. 

[00:42:08] Eldar: Wow. 

[00:42:09] Toliy: So yeah, to me it's, like, ear- early parts of it, but yeah, it just continues to, like... it continues to make me, like, like I can't put down this concept of, like, what do you actually care about? 

[00:42:23] Eldar: That's a very 

[00:42:24] Toliy: good question.

[00:42:24] And, and, um- Yeah, I really, I really think that if people examine their actions, they care way m- way more about things that were in their... When they're in a logical frame of mind, they would disagree with 

[00:42:38] Eldar: Would disagree with. 

[00:42:40] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:42:42] Eldar: Well, yeah, you are, you, again, you're summoning Socrates, who, you know, uh, summon- I mean, he urged people to think about this specific thing.

[00:42:53] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah, and, like, part of that, like, statement that, that you say, like, you don't want it or he don't want it yeah, I think plenty of people would counteract that, and they would say like, "But what, what do you mean? Like, of course he wants it. He's like he's playing in the, in the NBA finals."

[00:43:07] Like- 

[00:43:07] Warren: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:43:09] Toliy: the but the issue with, with wanting something is that I think to want something, like we're talking about, you also need to be willing to take the ownership of it, and to take proper ownership of that thing, I think you have to truly be willing to fail at, at it. And I don't think many people are willing to put their livelihood and themselves on the line with the op- with the potential of failing, which is why they'll, they'll never put, they'll they won't they will never put themselves in that position to, like, miss, and when they have that thought in their head, they'll never be able to, to show that they want it,

[00:43:50] Eldar: and that's an ego. 

[00:43:51] Toliy: And I think that... yeah, and I think that, like, you know, in simple terms, when you watch, like, Jalen Brunson play, you clearly see that this person wants it. 

[00:43:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:43:59] Toliy: He's okay with the consequences- 

[00:44:02] Eldar: Yeah

[00:44:02] Toliy: o- of that desire. Yeah. And I think that most people are just not, so they will do everything possible to be in the pretend camp of wanting it. 

[00:44:12] Eldar: To hide. 

[00:44:13] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:44:17] Mike: Yeah, it's a tricky thing. 

[00:44:19] Eldar: It is. 

[00:44:19] Mike: Yeah. But 

[00:44:20] Toliy: it's, 

[00:44:20] Eldar: But I think, but I think that if you understand the equation and you follow it through, I think that you will have these types of 

[00:44:27] Toliy: results.

[00:44:27] To, to, to me the consequences of a non-focused mind for yourself when you're doing things is are like too high. Because, like, I, yeah, I think it's difficult if you're not in, like, a great for- like, a great, a great frame of mind or, like, thinking clearly to properly make any kind of conclusions or decisions for yourself.

[00:44:48] And too many things fly by your ra- radar that you don't see because your mind is too cluttered. Yeah. That to me is, like, the issue. So you could be trying to, like, improve something or to do something or to, like, learn something, but what's actually happening is that, like, you- you're blindfolded to crucial things that require your attention and awareness.

[00:45:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:45:12] Toliy: But you just can't see them. So nat- so naturally you can't act in correct ways. 

[00:45:18] And like, yeah, I'm, like, almost currently afraid of that,

[00:45:22] I don't wanna be blindfolded in that kind of way and I don't wanna see what I'm not s- what I should be seeing, for example.

[00:45:27] Mm. So I, I think to actually only achieve that, I think it requires that. And I think that maybe we're able to at times mutually, like, get together and have mo- moments of this, and I think it's... Lots of times it happens on the podcast because I think that in that, like, moment of conversation we're able to be so focused and so attentive to what's going on that maybe we're able to summon those kinds of thoughts or feelings or ways of acting.

[00:45:57] But- Why do you think that is? Yeah, 'cause I think it just requires it 

[00:46:02] Eldar: It requires it, I 

[00:46:03] Toliy: agree with you. It 

[00:46:03] Eldar: demands it. I agree with you. 

[00:46:04] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:46:04] Eldar: That, uh, in order to stay in this conversation, you have to pay attention. 

[00:46:07] Toliy: Yeah. But the i- the issue is that once we, once you leave this conversation- 

[00:46:12] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:46:13] Toliy: everything out your whole life continues to play, play out.

[00:46:17] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:46:17] Toliy: And- 

[00:46:17] Eldar: And you don't give that same respect to yourself- 

[00:46:19] Toliy: You can't, you, yeah ... 

[00:46:20] Eldar: to your 

[00:46:20] Toliy: attention. Yeah. 

[00:46:20] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:46:21] Toliy: Yeah, because you don't love who you are- Yeah ... and how you are and why you are and in general, who you are. Yeah. So naturally it is difficult for you to be on... No, no one wants to be, like, on board with, like, a loser.

[00:46:35] Yeah. And I think deep down many people are, like, they feel like they're losers, for example- Yeah ... or, like, they're not good at something or they're not- Yeah ... good enough. 

[00:46:42] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:46:43] Toliy: So to be with that person, I think is hard, which is why you need to tie yourself to things that you are proud of. 

[00:46:53] The top player.

[00:46:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:46:55] Toliy: The best artist, the top fashion, the things that people esteem is what you need to be associated with. 

[00:47:03] Eldar: You need to put on their clothes because- 

[00:47:04] Toliy: Yeah ... 

[00:47:05] Eldar: you need to hide your own dirt. 

[00:47:07] Toliy: You need to be associated with something that people speak highly of or esteem. 

[00:47:11] Eldar: So then you can be taken seriously- So-

[00:47:13] and you don't feel like a loser. 

[00:47:13] Toliy: Yes. Well, yeah, that, tho- Or the, or- Those are, like, side- Yeah ... like, those are side effects as to what you think, for example, will happen or what goes on. 

[00:47:21] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:47:21] Toliy: Oh, that person has that watch. Okay, th- that watch equals success, for example. 

[00:47:26] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:47:27] Toliy: It programmed into many people, millions of people's heads.

[00:47:30] Eldar: So at least therefore- 

[00:47:30] Toliy: Right? ... 

[00:47:31] Eldar: you'll at least be 

[00:47:31] Toliy: accepted in that circle. So therefore, if you have that watch- That equals suc- suc- success. You just potentially bypassed what looks like on paper like, m- m- like potentially multiple lifetimes worth of work by just having that watch. Because nobody has to get to know you, no one actually has to see if what you're saying is true or not true.

[00:47:54] If you have that watch, you got that AP on, you got that Rolex, the RM- 

[00:48:00] ... 

[00:48:00] Toliy: Whatever it is, there's an automatic, like, respect. 

[00:48:02] Eldar: Mm. 

[00:48:03] Toliy: And when people see, for example, like, I don't know they see someone like Ar- Armen Saroukhan, right? Mm-hmm. He's flying private, doing this, doing that. There's an automatic, like, there, there's automatic respect that pe- people unconsciously give this person- Mm-hmm

[00:48:18] because of what they see that they're doing and what they have. 

[00:48:21] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:48:23] Toliy: They automatically know, and they can get behind someone that they feel knows because they themselves don't know. It's a very natural phenomenon- 

[00:48:31] ... 

[00:48:31] Toliy: That if you don't love yourself, if you're not sure of what to do or what's going on, you're gonna go out there and find things that are established entities.

[00:48:40] Brands, people, icons, teams- 

[00:48:44] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:48:44] Toliy: communities, whatever it is. And you're gonna be part of those things that are actually viewed upon as successful. 

[00:48:53] Eldar: Yeah. I agree with you. I agree with you. That's well put. 

[00:48:57] Toliy: Yeah, like, and I, I don't know how you 

[00:48:59] Eldar: can, like, think about that. And that is the biggest crime that, is that's, and that's the biggest crime that you can commit against yourself, right?

[00:49:03] Toliy: Yeah. But I mean, if that wasn't a thing, there'd probably be like a, I don't know, like a 95% suicide rate. 

[00:49:09] Eldar: No, you're right. 

[00:49:10] Warren: Hmm. 

[00:49:11] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:49:11] Toliy: But you need those things to keep going forward to to continue. 

[00:49:15] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:49:16] Toliy: And then maybe slowly- Climb out of it ... slowly over time climb out of it and do all that. 

[00:49:20] Eldar: Yeah.

[00:49:21] Toliy: But yeah, I think you're, like, now you're taught from a younger and younger and younger age to respect these things, to admire these things, to desire these things. So I think naturally as you get older, yeah, this is all you think about and all you want. And again tell me who do you know that sees somebody, again, with a particular watch or something on, or I don't know, a particular car, a super car- 

[00:49:46] Eldar: Mm-hmm

[00:49:46] Toliy: and they don't feel a type of way. Au- unconsciously, automatically. Yeah. This is an automatic- 

[00:49:51] Eldar: You're right ... 

[00:49:52] Toliy: behavior that people have. Why? 

[00:49:54] Eldar: Yeah. It's already established. 

[00:49:56] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:49:57] Eldar: And it's easy. 

[00:49:58] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it provides comfort because it's a feeling of knowing. 

[00:50:04] Eldar: Hmm. 

[00:50:05] Toliy: That to me is the biggest catalyst here is the because people are looking for that, like, feeling of knowing and understanding and comfort, But this is a very easy concept to buy into.

[00:50:18] Eldar: It's true. 

[00:50:19] Toliy: Who, who- Tell, tell me who do you know that sees somebody with a, $100,000 watch on and, like, would not feel a type of way about them? Or they, you know, everyone's been to that outdoor restaurant where someone pulls up in a s- super car. 

[00:50:33] Everyone looks, right? 

[00:50:34] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:50:35] Toliy: Everyone feels a particular way.

[00:50:36] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:50:37] Toliy: If you have a gold $100,000 watch on. 

[00:50:41] Eldar: I think we're done with ana- uh, analogies. 

[00:50:43] Toliy: Okay, what about the supercar? One more. 

[00:50:44] Eldar: One more. 

[00:50:45] Toliy: What about the supercar? 

[00:50:45] Eldar: I guess... 

[00:50:48] Toliy: Yeah. So- 

[00:50:48] Eldar: No, we g- I get the point. 

[00:50:49] Toliy: Yeah. But yeah, I just wanted- I think the audience 

[00:50:51] Eldar: got the point. 

[00:50:51] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:50:52] Eldar: No, it's true, Toliy, it's true, and I think that it's the biggest crime, you know, idolizing those things outside of yourself.

[00:50:57] Absolutely, it's a crime. 

[00:50:58] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:50:59] Eldar: Because we're not fascinated by our own minds, but like you just said, you- 

[00:51:02] Toliy: We can't be fascinated by it because it, it's too painful to think about our own re- 

[00:51:07] Eldar: Yeah, realities 

[00:51:07] Toliy: and things ... reality. Yeah, 

[00:51:08] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:51:08] Toliy: So we need to figure out how do we buy someone else's? How do we get into someone else's?

[00:51:12] Eldar: Yeah, because it's, it's to some degree, buying into somebody else's, following someone else, and becoming a fan, wearing somebody else's jersey- 

[00:51:20] Toliy: Th- think about it ... it's 

[00:51:20] Eldar: easier. 

[00:51:21] Toliy: Again, the, like, sports teams, they have so much history. 

[00:51:25] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:51:25] Toliy: Many of these leagues, teams, they've, they've been around for 100 plus years.

[00:51:29] Eldar: Yeah. How do you feel about, uh, working here or being around me and telling me this nonsense over the last 15 years? Yeah. 

[00:51:35] Toliy: Yeah. I feel like a piece of shit. 

[00:51:38] Mike: All the time, he will come in and just give us, like, s- 

[00:51:40] Eldar: Yeah, yeah ... sports talk. Well, yeah. He's like a encyclopedia when it comes to the show. 

[00:51:43] Toliy: Yeah, yeah.

[00:51:44] But again, it's because there's already so much known and so much history- 

[00:51:49] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:51:49] Toliy: and so much that, like, if you follow this, you're a part of this. Yeah. And you get that feeling- 

[00:51:53] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:51:54] Toliy: of, like, belonging and, like, you know that, like- Are you gonna stop saying... 

[00:51:55] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. Are 

[00:51:56] Toliy: you gonna do 

[00:51:57] Mike: a one-year, one-year ban on sports talk?

[00:52:00] Eldar: I think- Yeah ... that's it. It's for forever ban. 

[00:52:02] Mike: Yeah, forever. All right, yeah. 

[00:52:03] Eldar: No, I think, look if people out there, like- There, there's 

[00:52:05] Toliy: a healthy way to do it. 

[00:52:06] Eldar: Yes, there is a healthy way to do it. Yeah, there is, for sure. And I think that we should definitely talk about it. Yeah. We're not saying, "Guys, stop your sports."

[00:52:11] Joe, you can still wear your hockey jersey. I know you like Wayne Gretzky. Yeah. So if you're listening, you know what I mean, you could keep wearing your jerseys, but I think there's a healthy way of doing it. I think that if you audit yourself and you realize that you do actually have the self-esteem, you're happy with yourself, you have the confidence in yourself, and you're able to stand on yours by knowing who you are, then of course you can entertain yourself with cer- certain worldly, quote unquote, pleasures that are out there that are not taking away from who you truly are.

[00:52:41] Warren: Mm-hmm. 

[00:52:42] Eldar: Right? And then you can always spin yourself or include yourself in ways that actually add to those avenues versus them dictating of how you f- actually feel. 

[00:52:52] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:52:53] Eldar: Right? So when your sports team loses or whatever, okay, whatever. Mm-hmm. You know? Water off a duck's back. Mm-hmm. Who cares? Doesn't really matter.

[00:53:00] Yeah. Yeah, sure, you can root for someone, but it shouldn't make your day, right? 

[00:53:05] Toliy: Yeah, I think that, like, it's it's m- maybe if people, just to say it in very plain words, it's meant to be for entertainment, to be entertained. 

[00:53:13] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:53:15] Toliy: I think that once- Outside of that, you should 

[00:53:16] Eldar: not be attaching your feelings, 

[00:53:17] Toliy: emotions, 

[00:53:18] Eldar: also the crap

[00:53:18] I, 

[00:53:18] Toliy: yeah, I think o- o- once that people, o- once I think people and, like, these in entities and, like, companies and corporations realize that, hey, there's way more to this. There's belonging. There's, like- 

[00:53:28] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:53:28] Toliy: community. There's- Yeah. 

[00:53:29] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:53:30] Toliy: like, togetherness. Like, there's, like- Yeah ... the word we. Yeah. We lost.

[00:53:34] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:53:34] Toliy: You understand? We lost our way. Oh, yeah, 

[00:53:36] Eldar: yeah, yeah. I do understand, yeah. 

[00:53:38] Toliy: Pe- people are willing- But it's, again, like also- People are willing to kill. Th- think about that ... it's also, like, a- 

[00:53:42] Mike: Yes. Oh, they fight, yeah. 

[00:53:44] Toliy: That's crazy. They fight, that's crazy. They're... No, forget off a fi- they're willing to kill.

[00:53:47] Mike: Yeah. Mm-hmm. But I think it's also, like, a- Rivalries. What the fuck? They just... Yeah, in a way it's like a dysfunctional- You a retard? ... search for connection. 

[00:53:55] Eldar: Yeah. The- 

[00:53:56] Mike: So they really want that ... 

[00:53:56] Toliy: they, they use the word hate. 

[00:53:58] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:53:58] Toliy: I hate those p- fans. 

[00:53:59] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:54:00] Toliy: What? You hate somebody? 

[00:54:02] Eldar: Yeah. That's true. 

[00:54:03] Toliy: Because they're against you.

[00:54:05] Eldar: Yeah. What- That's taking it too far. 

[00:54:06] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:54:07] Toliy: what are you talking about? 

[00:54:08] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:54:08] Toliy: against? Who's we? 

[00:54:10] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:11] Toliy: Who's we? 

[00:54:13] Eldar: Yeah. It's that, it's that line that, um, in the famous movie A Bronx Tale. He said, "Mickey Man- why are you crying? Mickey Mantle's not gonna pay your rent." Who's he? 

[00:54:22] Toliy: No, but the reality is, is that he's not, but he does pay your rent.

[00:54:26] Eldar: Your Mantle rent. 

[00:54:27] Toliy: Yes. 

[00:54:27] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:28] Toliy: Because he- Yeah ... provides you comfort. He provides you support. 

[00:54:30] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:31] Toliy: The way he acts or talks or thinks about things. Yeah. 

[00:54:33] Eldar: You esteem that. 

[00:54:34] Toliy: You're, you're fascinated by this person. 

[00:54:36] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:36] Toliy: Or you're fascinated by this team, and it does pay your rent. It does add to your life, which is why you're willing to relentlessly give up yours for it.

[00:54:45] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:54:47] Toliy: That to me is, like, the craziness that- that's happening, is that people are willing to sacrifice themselves for everything else out there. They're willing to trade themselves for everything else out there, but they don't know it. 

[00:55:00] Eldar: But they don't know it. 

[00:55:01] Toliy: No. 

[00:55:02] Eldar: Well, it's good that you're putting this 

[00:55:03] Toliy: information out there.

[00:55:03] That, that's why I said, like, it, it, it, it's like the biggest heist ever is going on. 

[00:55:08] Eldar: The biggest heist. Yeah, you said that last week. 

[00:55:10] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:55:10] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:55:12] Toliy: Yeah, because it's like there's p- people's like focus and attention span is being stolen in broad daylight, and they're, have no problem han- handing it over.

[00:55:21] The, the, uh... Actually, it's not even theft. It's like, it's just like free. It's just like- And 

[00:55:24] Eldar: then, and then those people become slaves because then they work for those organizations without even knowing. 

[00:55:28] Toliy: Yeah. Yes, and they're willing to pay outrageous ticket prices- 

[00:55:32] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:55:32] Toliy: for example, for things. 

[00:55:33] Eldar: It's crazy.

[00:55:35] $1,000 for- Yeah ... seats in all the way 

[00:55:37] Toliy: in the back. And who's going? What... if if people s- were one day, like people who went to like let's say one of those Knicks games, right? 

[00:55:43] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:55:43] Toliy: If there was some way to audit everyone's income and what they're paying- 

[00:55:46] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:55:47] Toliy: how many people- 

[00:55:48] Eldar: Actually can afford it

[00:55:49] Toliy: Well, like, yeah. What... Was it all millionaires at these games- 

[00:55:52] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:55:52] Toliy: paying $10,000 to sit in the back? 

[00:55:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:55:54] Toliy: Well, was it just the richest of the r- riches are all in one- No ... one area? 

[00:55:57] Eldar: It's the biggest retards who are opening all the credit cards. 

[00:56:00] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. Paying- I think if you audited, the, the, the max the, there, there was probably way less rich and millionaires there- Yeah

[00:56:07] than people who were broke. 

[00:56:08] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:56:09] Toliy: And I think that is the proof. They're like- Of what's going on ... the people's mindsets are like, "Hey, I need to go because this is a memory that my son's gonna remember forever," for example. 

[00:56:18] Eldar: Yeah, 

[00:56:19] Toliy: with like so much- Or like, "We're gonna remember forever." ... written 

[00:56:20] Eldar: on it. Yeah. 

[00:56:21] Toliy: Yeah, because there's nothing else to remember.

[00:56:23] Eldar: Yeah, there's 

[00:56:23] Toliy: nothing else 

[00:56:24] Eldar: to remember. Nothing else, yeah. Oh, what the fuck. There's nothing else to remember, Mike. You're right. I can't refute any of this. You're right. 

[00:56:33] Toliy: Yeah, I would say that the brokest people were at those games. 

[00:56:36] Eldar: The poorest. 

[00:56:37] Toliy: Yeah.

[00:56:41] Even from a financial level like that. 

[00:56:43] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:56:44] Toliy: Because I think only a very small amount of real like people who are like, "Yeah, I don't give a fuck about, you know- 

[00:56:49] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:56:49] Toliy: 20 grand." They're like- 

[00:56:50] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:56:51] Toliy: it's like a drop in the bucket. 

[00:56:52] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:56:52] Toliy: I don't think those people like we were saying, what? Someone who's a millionaire is gonna sit in the fucking back with like, crazy animals or- Yeah

[00:56:59] like this thing. Yeah. They're gonna actually just like do that? 

[00:57:02] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:57:02] Toliy: No, they're gonna wanna be in the booth, or they're gonna wanna be on the floor. Of course, 

[00:57:04] Eldar: and that costs 20, 30 grand. 

[00:57:05] Toliy: Yeah, and that costs now, you know- Yeah ... 30, 40, 50 grand. Yeah. You know, 100 grand. 

[00:57:09] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:57:10] Toliy: Man, like a millionaire's not gonna wanna just sit in the back- 

[00:57:12] Eldar: Yeah

[00:57:13] Toliy: and the nosebleeds, even though the prices are for millionaires. 

[00:57:16] Eldar: That's just true. So it's over th- for them, for everyone. 

[00:57:19] Toliy: No. No, it's the opposite now. 

[00:57:22] Eldar: It's the opposite now. 

[00:57:23] Toliy: Yeah. 

[00:57:23] Eldar: It's not over for everyone. 

[00:57:24] Toliy: Yeah. There, there's gonna be some, some team or entity or some concept or like something- You're gonna be 

[00:57:29] Eldar: able to attach yourself to

[00:57:30] Toliy: th- that, that's gonna like, um, take care of them 

[00:57:35] Eldar: That's a good point 

[00:57:36] Toliy: Because they're gonna prove that they can't take care of themselves. 

[00:57:39] Eldar: Yeah. This is true So what do you suggest? Oh, do- you don't suggest anything then? Just keep, keep on and carry on. 

[00:57:48] Toliy: Make, make that list. 

[00:57:50] Eldar: Make the list. Yeah. Mike, what do you think?

[00:57:56] Mike: Well, like I said, from my own experience, keep fucking making mistakes, keep being stupid. 

[00:58:00] It's good. Hopefully this lifetime or maybe a couple down the road- 

[00:58:05] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:58:05] Mike: it'll click for you. Yeah. I was thinking about you know, I'm not sure if I said it well enough to you guys when I was explaining the analogy of, like, finding your own approach, like, um, or if you guys understood the way I was thinking about it, but, like, the truth is not, is just one truth.

[00:58:23] There's not, like, multiple truths, right? Mm-hmm. It's you, your ability to find your avenue to get there. 

[00:58:29] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:58:29] Mike: And I think that's the big kicker, you know? But a lot of times you're like, you know, stomping your feet like, "Oh, I tried this," or, "I can't do this." And I obviously know this in, in rock climbing too, right?

[00:58:39] Like- Yeah ... I'll say, "Hey, I can't do this. I can't do that." Yeah. But ultimately, yeah, it's like you're stomping your feet and kicking your feet because you're too arrogant to,

[00:58:49] Eldar: your hips are tight. 

[00:58:50] Mike: Yeah, hips, the hips 

[00:58:52] Eldar: are tight. That's, that's 

[00:58:52] Mike: the 

[00:58:53] Eldar: new one you found. 

[00:58:54] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:58:55] Eldar: The, what's it, what is it called?

[00:58:56] Uh, a detour. 

[00:58:58] Mike: Detour, yeah. But you're ultimately trying to find an approach- 

[00:59:02] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:59:03] Mike: because you're trying to get to the truth, but the truth is not anywhere else. It's not anywhere different. Yeah. It's just you wanna get to... You need to get there to, to kind of face your own. Yeah. 

[00:59:12] Toliy: But how do, how do you get past, like, the, uh, the exhaustion of failure?

[00:59:17] Because, like, I definitely had it firsthand where I would, like I say, like, "I'm tired of being tired. Like, I'm just tired." There's probably times where you feel that, like, you're mentally exhausted and, like- Yeah ... to continue to try new things or- 

[00:59:27] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:59:28] Toliy: to do stuff, it's just like- I think by keep- ... you become stuck.

[00:59:29] You're- 

[00:59:29] Eldar: By keeping the conversation going. Yeah, but also- I think that Mike went through the same stuff that you're talking about. Yeah, like, "I had enough." Like, "This is too much. I'm overwhelmed." But then he kept the conversation going and then every time you do keep a little bit of the door open, that conversation, pries it open and you're like, "All right.

[00:59:46] There is a light at the end of the tunnel." 

[00:59:48] Toliy: Yeah. My, my- 

[00:59:49] Eldar: Right? And slowly you re- regain the strength- 

[00:59:51] Toliy: Yeah ... 

[00:59:52] Eldar: regain the energy to try again and try again and try again. Mm-hmm. You have to keep 

[00:59:55] Toliy: trying. Yeah. And you keep 

[00:59:55] Mike: trying. 

[00:59:56] Eldar: My, my 

[00:59:57] Toliy: thing is that- 

[00:59:57] Eldar: What else are you gonna do? Roll over and die? 

[00:59:59] Toliy: Well, yeah, but my, my thing is also that, that I find, like, a, uh, trick- tricky like, uh, to navigate is that a lot of, like, I think that what you've learned and what you go about things, like, it happens in, like, adver- the, uh, like the, the proof of it is shown, I think, lots of times in, like, adversity.

[01:00:17] Or non, like, uh, your own monitored, like, s- situation, right? 

[01:00:24] And I think that, like, when you get when you get into those kinds of s- situations- I think that like when, when it's time to like perform, time to act, time to like do, and it's not in like a guardrails scenario that like you create for yourself- 

[01:00:40] I think that's kind of when you show that kind of stuff. But I also think that oftentimes when you're, when you do it on your own and you're on your own through, through a lot of these things, it's very easy to like Give yourself like what you think you're o- capable of, right? Like- 

[01:01:00] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:01:00] Toliy: you know what I'm saying?

[01:01:01] Like, uh- I 

[01:01:01] Eldar: do know what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, if you become your own doctor- 

[01:01:05] Toliy: Yeah ... 

[01:01:05] Eldar: right, you prescribe what you think is correct. 

[01:01:10] Toliy: Yeah, that- Right? Well, you set the limits- And you'll, and you'll, and you'll, you'll challenge yourself in a way that you're comfortable with being challenged- Correct.

[01:01:16] Yeah ... to. That, that, that's what I'm saying. 

[01:01:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:01:19] Toliy: And there's no you can't push the limits that, like, someone else can push you or someone else can- Yeah ... can, uh- 

[01:01:25] Eldar: Yeah ... can challenge you. And that, and I think those, those, the, those times when we do push the limits or raise awareness on certain topics or cer- certain subjects, you come to realize, like, "Oh, wait a second, that part of me I didn't even know."

[01:01:36] You've discovered that part with someone, and you're like, "Oh, shit," like, "I could potentially go there," but it's gonna take now time to pushing more and really the rediscovering that. Yeah. 'Cause that person can drag you all their life to try to make you think the way you've discovered it together, for example.

[01:01:52] Toliy: Yeah. One, one, one really, I 

[01:01:54] Eldar: think- And one that you have to take 

[01:01:55] Toliy: ownership of. Yeah. I think, like, one interesting really th- like thought here, I think, is that the people who fail over and over again- always feel that like they care the most 

[01:02:09] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:02:10] Toliy: So like, as I'm failing over and over again, I always felt that like, yeah, like That concept of like, "Hey, like, you don't want it," to me it's like, "Well, no, I care so much."

[01:02:22] Like like- Well, 

[01:02:24] Eldar: that's a good 

[01:02:24] Toliy: thing, right? I care, like I do care, but then also it's like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, how do we define caring? 

[01:02:30] Mike: That's a good- no, that's a BS thing. 

[01:02:32] Toliy: Yeah, like how do we define caring? 

[01:02:34] Eldar: Yeah. Well, yeah. 

[01:02:34] Toliy: Do we define caring- Yeah ... through doing pro- actions? 

[01:02:38] Eldar: No, the thing is your statement of caring in that moment just is your testimony based on who, what you think is caring.

[01:02:45] It's not a- Well- ... universal- Exactly ... objective truth. 

[01:02:48] Toliy: Exactly. It's only 

[01:02:48] Eldar: your caring. 

[01:02:49] Toliy: But you only operate from that- Yeah ... frame of thinking. Point of view, 

[01:02:52] Eldar: yes. 

[01:02:52] Toliy: You're only operating from your own reality, your own point, point of view- Yeah ... which is why that statement of, like, saying to, like, "Yo, you don't want it," or, "You don't care"- 

[01:03:00] Eldar: Yeah

[01:03:01] Toliy: is so, like, it's so offensive. It, it's 

[01:03:03] Eldar: offensive, 

[01:03:03] Toliy: yeah. It's so offensive to, to- Yeah ... to, to you. 

[01:03:06] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:03:06] Toliy: And it, it, like, to many people, again, I think it would make no sense at all. 

[01:03:10] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:03:11] Toliy: Again, you're in the finals, of course you care. Like, you're the- Yeah ... highest level. Yeah. Of course he cares. 

[01:03:15] Eldar: Yeah. Like, 

[01:03:15] Toliy: what are you, what are you talking about?

[01:03:16] Eldar: When I use this line, when we use this line, like, on the people- 

[01:03:19] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[01:03:20] Eldar: rock climbing we say, like, we definitely stump them. Well, yeah. The, the, the reactions of- Because, because 

[01:03:25] Toliy: it's so- ... the 

[01:03:25] Mike: people. Yeah. It's, it's- 

[01:03:26] Eldar: They're like, "Well, I guess, yeah, I guess I don't want it." You 

[01:03:28] Mike: know? And some do agree. Some of them do agree, which is very interest- very funny.

[01:03:31] Eldar: Yeah. Some of them- Because 

[01:03:32] Mike: they can admit it. Yeah. Because it's also like you catch them s- so off guard they, they can't even lie. 

[01:03:37] Eldar: Yes. 

[01:03:37] Mike: Some of them do- Yes ... obviously. 

[01:03:39] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:03:40] Mike: But some of them, most of them are confused. 

[01:03:42] Eldar: Yes. 

[01:03:42] Mike: But some of them will say, "Yeah, you are right. You're right. I don't want it." 

[01:03:44] Eldar: Yeah.

[01:03:45] Mike: Yeah. That's interesting. It's very 

[01:03:46] Toliy: interesting. Yeah. So when you're failing over and over again, I think that what happens is that you probably just have the biggest delusion ever that you actually care. Yeah. And I think that, that's the thing that's holding you back, and you're not willing to come to terms with, like, hey, based on your actions you actually don't care.

[01:04:05] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:04:05] Toliy: And that's, that- So stop lying to yourself ... yeah, so stop lying to yourself. Yeah. That, that, that, that's like- 

[01:04:10] Eldar: Yeah ... o- 

[01:04:10] Toliy: once you get there, then I think naturally 

[01:04:14] Eldar: that- You're gonna start wanting to find out what 

[01:04:15] Toliy: it means- Na- ... 

[01:04:15] Eldar: to care. 

[01:04:15] Toliy: Yes. I agree. Naturally you get the humility- 

[01:04:18] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:04:18] Toliy: required to find out, yeah- Ah

[01:04:21] what does it mean to actually care. 

[01:04:22] Eldar: Because you don't wanna be a piece of shit. 

[01:04:24] Toliy: Yes. 

[01:04:26] Eldar: Right? Because you've built up this image to say, "Yo, I'm this fucking caring bear that wants to hug the world and everyone around me," but the truth of the matter is you're just a piece of shit who's a liar. 

[01:04:37] Mike: Yeah. But it's also- Yeah

[01:04:40] yeah, it's, um, you really don't, you don't know that y- obviously. No, but Toliy's- You don't think about it ... 

[01:04:44] Eldar: equation is correct. 

[01:04:45] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:04:46] Toliy: You have to rediscover what that word actually means- Yeah ... to care. 

[01:04:49] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:04:49] Toliy: And I think that, like- Mm-hmm ... to me at least yeah, if someone says it like, "Hey, like, yeah, you don't care about, like, like the sales here," for example.

[01:04:56] Mm-hmm. 

[01:04:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:04:57] Toliy: That to me would, like, hurt really bad. Yeah. And I'd be like, "What do you mean?" 

[01:05:01] Eldar: Like- I've said that to you many times. 

[01:05:01] Toliy: Yeah, like, "What do you, what do you mean?" Yeah. Like, "I've been dedicating my whole life to figuring this out." 

[01:05:06] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:07] Toliy: Maybe to a certain extent, like in, in the whole like, uh- In your weird 

[01:05:10] Eldar: way.

[01:05:10] Toliy: Yeah, in your weird way or like- Yeah ... in your like current reality. 

[01:05:14] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:15] Toliy: But someone who cares gets things done right. 

[01:05:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:19] Toliy: For example. Yeah. They get the right outcomes. 

[01:05:21] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:21] Toliy: They 

[01:05:22] Eldar: want 

[01:05:22] Toliy: the- Yeah ... the, someone who needs to be somewhere at a certain place that cares about being on time- 

[01:05:27] Eldar: They'll 

[01:05:27] Toliy: be on time

[01:05:28] they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll be on time. They'll factor in this, they'll factor in that. Yeah. And they'll be, you know, if it's a recurring thing, th- thing, they'll be probably 99.9% on time. 

[01:05:37] Eldar: Correct. 

[01:05:37] Yeah. 

[01:05:38] Toliy: And just because, I don't know, like some freak thing happens, a train breaks down or like whatever it is, it doesn't mean that they don't care.

[01:05:44] Yeah. It's just like it was a freak accident. But people don't have free a- freak accidents every single day. 

[01:05:48] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:49] Toliy: So yeah, I think part of that coming to terms of, of, uh, realizing that you don't care, yeah, to me it's just like it's such a humbling experience, and then it's just it naturally I think like, um, invokes hu- humility.

[01:06:04] But then I think that you also get super curious about like- About 

[01:06:07] Eldar: what does it 

[01:06:07] Toliy: mean? Well, wait, like- Yeah ... what does caring look like? What is this? Yeah. And I think that you can get behind going on that kind of quest of like- 

[01:06:15] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:06:15] Toliy: figuring out what that actually is. And then when you actually go and do that, I think it's undeniable by everyone around you that you care.

[01:06:25] Like that, that, that- Yeah ... is not a, uh, disputable point- 

[01:06:28] Eldar: Yeah. I 

[01:06:29] Toliy: agree ... like when you actually do the right things. 

[01:06:31] Eldar: I agree. Yeah. It, it's shown, it's known. Yeah. It's you. Yeah. It's who you are. 

[01:06:34] Toliy: Yeah. It's what is part of you. And what, 

[01:06:34] What happens? Yeah. You don't have any like guilt. Yeah. You don't have shame.

[01:06:38] You don't have like- 

[01:06:39] Eldar: You have confidence ... 

[01:06:39] Toliy: anger. Like- 

[01:06:40] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:06:40] Toliy: you just like, you're, you're like a living, breathing example- Of that ... of someone doing, doing that and caring about that. 

[01:06:46] Eldar: That's 

[01:06:46] Toliy: right. And I think everyone universally feels that. 

[01:06:49] Eldar: And agrees to it. Yeah. Can't dispute that. Yeah. I agree with you.

[01:06:51] Yeah. Okay. So Mike, what are your final thoughts on this focus shit or the caring shit? On the focus or the caring? 

[01:07:02] Mike: Yeah. Um- 

[01:07:05] Eldar: I think those are married 

[01:07:06] Mike: cousins ... if you actually cared- 

[01:07:07] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:07:08] Mike: you know, like when p- like I think you would actually- 

[01:07:10] Eldar: Focus ... 

[01:07:11] Mike: you would focus obviously. Mm-hmm. But I think the caring, when we say that, if you did care, like I'll, like, you know, just my own again, you know, experience, if you did care, you would go and learn what you need to learn in order to do whatever that is that you set yourself out, that you said to yourself that you wanted to do, whether it's climbing that V6 or cracking something in your personal life or in business life. But that arrogant statement of saying like, "I tried this," or, "I can't do this," or whatever, the egotistical state of mind, it does not allow you to then to say, yeah. It's like you have the blinders on.

[01:07:47] You just say like, "Oh, there's only one way to do this, and that's it." But when you say, when you open your mind, you become humble, you now to see the full picture. You can now see- Yeah ... what the hell is available to you, the resources to learn, to do things differently. And that's ultimately what it is.

[01:08:05] Eldar: And I'm gonna build on that. I'm gonna build on the fact that yes, you do need those ingredients of being humble and that humility in order to be able to, Wrap your hands around the bigger scope of service that it requires, the caring part, right? Yeah. Because then you're gonna be outside of your own scope or outside of your own arrogance and ignorance- Mm-hmm

[01:08:21] in order to do the right thing. However, without removing some of the distractions that we have in life- 

[01:08:27] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[01:08:28] Eldar: uh, it is hard to get there. 100%. Because when your f- plate is full, right? Yeah. You're juggling 1,000 things at the same time. 

[01:08:35] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:08:36] Eldar: Uh, getting to what you're talking about- Yeah ... is, is an uphill battle.

[01:08:39] Toliy: It is 100%. But, but the crazy hard thing is that it's very difficult for people to know that they, they, they can't see that they have a full plate. 

[01:08:47] Eldar: That's right. Well, 

[01:08:48] Mike: it's, 

[01:08:48] Toliy: again, it's a paradox. That, that to me is, like, the issue. 

[01:08:50] Mike: That's, that's it. The full plate is not that, is ex- actually empty 'cause it's emptiness.

[01:08:54] And- 

[01:08:54] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:08:54] Mike: and to get to the full plate- It's, it's, it's a feeling- Now you're 

[01:08:56] Toliy: doing the 

[01:08:57] Eldar: James thing. Yeah. 

[01:08:57] Toliy: Well the I think the- Yeah ... the feeling might be a feeling of emptiness, but- Yeah ... um- It's very real ... yeah, the, yeah. It's real. Yeah, the reality for them is that, yeah they're actually, like, way 

[01:09:06] Eldar: too 

[01:09:07] Toliy: ti- How, are you crazy?

[01:09:07] Yeah. Yeah. Are you crazy? And, yeah, and you said this before. Many people. Like, hey, like, yeah, you just have no, no time. Or, like, you're way too busy. 

[01:09:13] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:09:14] Toliy: Yeah. So yeah, if you have no time and you're too busy, well, yeah, I mean, they're, like, you're fighting an impossible- 

[01:09:20] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:09:21] Toliy: equation. 

[01:09:22] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:09:23] Toliy: So yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:09:25] I just think that, I think for m- many people it's difficult for them to see and to come to terms that, that yeah, like, they have way too much on their plate. Okay. And then giving, like removing those things and just, like, slowly detaching from those things, it's like a, like a drug addict response.

[01:09:42] Like, you're gonna get a very, like, nasty, angry person because, like, yeah, like, they're, like, they're giving away their, like, identity. 

[01:09:55] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:09:56] Toliy: Yeah. But- and I'm gonna have to g- bring back the movie fucking reference- 

[01:10:01] Eldar: Uh-oh ... 

[01:10:01] Toliy: that I brought, that I said before. 

[01:10:03] Eldar: Is it Harry Potter? 

[01:10:03] Toliy: It's a Harry Potter one. 

[01:10:04] Eldar: Fuck.

[01:10:05] Toliy: It's a Harry Potter one,

[01:10:06] Eldar: there was fucking... Okay, you can finish your thought, but there's a fucking guy that wants to get on the podcast. 

[01:10:11] Toliy: Mm-hmm. 

[01:10:11] Eldar: Right? And his whole theory is that we ought to remember mythology and all this other crap that happened, like... No, I'm not gonna say crap.

[01:10:21] All the historical shit that happened, to be able to see and identify why we, why we are the way we are. So he thinks that by studying the history, by studying that mythology in these movies maybe, right? We can see our own characters and our own lives and how they're playing out- Yeah ... and why they're playing out the way they do.

[01:10:37] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:10:37] Eldar: Maybe I'll have him on. 

[01:10:38] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:10:39] Eldar: We'll see. 

[01:10:39] Toliy: Mm, 

[01:10:40] Eldar: interesting. He's a little bit weird, you, but you, you like that kind of shit nowadays. 

[01:10:43] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:10:43] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:10:44] Toliy: In the end o- of Harry Potter- 

[01:10:46] Eldar: Okay ... 

[01:10:47] Toliy: they try to figure out, how do we kill this motherfucker, Lord Voldemort? 

[01:10:50] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:10:52] Toliy: They can't kill him, but then they realize towards the end, Dumbledore says like, "Yo, this guy actually committed what's, like, the biggest sin."

[01:10:59] Um- 

[01:10:59] Eldar: Voldemort. 

[01:11:00] Toliy: What? 

[01:11:01] Eldar: This guy 

[01:11:02] Toliy: Voldemort. Yeah. V- what, what'd you say? 

[01:11:06] Eldar: Voldemort. 

[01:11:07] Toliy: Oh, Bundlemo. Yeah. 

[01:11:08] Eldar: Yeah, he's, he committed the biggest sin. 

[01:11:10] Toliy: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I feel like you, you would, like, almost intentionally give people, like, the wrong names. 

[01:11:14] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[01:11:15] Toliy: But, like, they're, like, once you start thinking about it, it like it, it's- It works

[01:11:18] it's possible, yeah. 

[01:11:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:11:19] Toliy: Yeah. The he committed the biggest sin by breaking himself into many different items. 

[01:11:25] Eldar: Material items? 

[01:11:26] Toliy: Well, some of them are material and some of them are living. Like, part of, he, like, hi- his, like, pet snake- 

[01:11:31] Eldar: Hm ... 

[01:11:31] Toliy: right? A, a part of him is there. It's like he did something in, like, this book, this diary.

[01:11:37] Eldar: Uh-huh. 

[01:11:37] Toliy: A part of him was in this ring. Okay. And he actually left a part of him in Harry. 

[01:11:42] Eldar: That little thing? 

[01:11:43] Toliy: Yeah, that little lightning bolt, you know? Sorry, this, this might be a spoiler. 

[01:11:47] Eldar: Not the one dangling between his legs. 

[01:11:47] Toliy: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:11:48] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:11:49] Toliy: Yeah. So they realize, hey, it's, the only way to... And he did it, and this was considered, like, I forget what, what the curse was called.

[01:11:55] But Dumbledore was saying that, like, this is actually the biggest sin, to do this. 

[01:11:59] And they realize that the only way to kill him is to kill first, kill off all of those things. 

[01:12:03] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:12:03] Toliy: And then Harry realizes, like, hey, like, he's like, "Oh, shit," like, "I gotta die." 

[01:12:08] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:12:09] Toliy: And he has to come to terms that, like, hey, in order to defeat the greatest evil- 

[01:12:13] Eldar: Yeah

[01:12:13] Toliy: he needs to give up his life. Mm-hmm. He needs to allow hi- allow him to kill him. Voldemort to kill him? Well, like, but by, so he has to, like, he has to die in the process- Mm ... because Voldemort can't die if he's alive. 

[01:12:25] So he has to be willing to die- Hm ... for then him to be, like, the last thing that everything else is dead, that he- 

[01:12:30] Eldar: Mm.

[01:12:30] He's 

[01:12:31] Toliy: gone after 

[01:12:31] Eldar: that. Yeah. 

[01:12:31] Toliy: And because the thing is that as you kill off these items- Yeah ... he gets weaker and weaker. 

[01:12:36] Eldar: Yeah. '

[01:12:38] Toliy: Cause he's like sp- spread apart. 

[01:12:40] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:12:40] Toliy: You know? So yeah, but, but then if we think about that into like how this applies to us- 

[01:12:46] Eldar: Okay ... 

[01:12:47] Toliy: is that like- 

[01:12:47] Eldar: You're gonna tie this together. 

[01:12:48] Toliy: Yeah, like this is what people do, 

[01:12:51] Eldar: is 

[01:12:51] Toliy: that- 

[01:12:51] Eldar: They give ourselves 

[01:12:52] Toliy: to all, all, all these pieces

[01:12:53] we give ourselves, all of these, all... Yeah, we, we give a piece of ourself to all of these things that we have interests and desires and wants and- Mm. And by doing so, I think we commit a huge like sin against ourselves. 

[01:13:04] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:13:05] Toliy: We, we, we strip ourselves of our powers and like our- Mm-hmm ... abilities and our, like true i- 

[01:13:11] Identity. 

[01:13:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:13:12] Toliy: And I think ma- many people, if you take away some of their interests and stuff like that, they have no, no, no identity. Like, they have no character to them. They have no like- 

[01:13:22] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:13:23] Toliy: you can't talk about them without being like, "Oh, Uncle Elroy, you know, like he's a, uh, you know, he's a huge Yankees fan and like-" Yeah

[01:13:30] uh, he likes, uh- 

[01:13:31] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:13:32] Toliy: you know, The Beatles and like- Mm-hmm ... like you just talk about things that like- 

[01:13:36] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:13:36] Toliy: you know, like 

[01:13:37] Eldar: you don't- What music or what co- what's your favorite color? 

[01:13:38] Toliy: Yeah, yeah, like not who the person actually is or what they're about. 

[01:13:42] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:13:43] Toliy: And yeah, I think like this is what we do when we take interests in all of these different things and not prioritize ourselves.

[01:13:50] Eldar: Wow. I think that's well put. And it's a 

[01:13:52] Toliy: huge sin. 

[01:13:52] Eldar: Yeah. I think that's what... Mike, you have any final thoughts? 

[01:13:54] Toliy: No. 

[01:13:55] Eldar: So I'm gonna say this, my final thoughts is the fact that the truth of the matter is it seems like there is an equation, and sure, we might have not outlined it perfectly here, but we definitely took a stab at it.

[01:14:08] And I think that if you figure out this equation for yourself, I think there is definitely a lot of light at the end of that tunnel. Mm. And you can figure out the focus, the caring, you know, and really molding yourself in such a way where you can esteem yourself and not the external world around you. So continue to think, continue to, you know, tune in and continue to challenge yourself if you're not happy.

[01:14:34] If you're happy, then you're good. But if you're not, like, uh, Charles Ramsey once said, "There's more girls up in that house." 

[01:14:41] Toliy: Yeah. 

[01:14:41] Eldar: Examine it, and try to- 

[01:14:43] ... 

[01:14:43] Eldar: Try to figure it out because the equation is there, and, you know, everyone learns differently, sure, but the truth is the truth, and if you get to it and get closer to it, then it feels good.

[01:14:54] So we'll, we'll leave you guys with that. 

[01:14:55] Warren: Mm-hmm. 

[01:14:56] Eldar: Thank you so much. Thank you. 

[01:14:59] Warren: Oh, hot as... Don't 

[01:15:04] go.