223. Self Improvement Test

In this raw and unfiltered episode, the crew tackles the hidden psychological hazards of personal growth, self-worth, and the ultimate test of stepping out of the "philosophy bubble" and back into the real world.

Mike drops a massive testimony about looking back at his past relationships like reading a book about a stranger, realizing that building true self-love changes everything. But growth comes with a cost: when you enter a new romance or a fresh season of life, how do you keep from letting your desire and attachment wreck the hard-earned discipline you fought for?

"Attachment is like, obviously it's rooted in desire... they cloud your judgment at least momentarily." — Eldar

Key Takeaways:

• The Mirror Effect: Discovering how looking back at past toxic patterns reveals just how drastically your mindset and internal identity have shifted.
• The Ultimate Test: Why achieving peace and calm is only half the battle—the real challenge begins when you must apply your new emotional intelligence under the pressure of real-world love.
• The Vessel of Change: How unexpected outlets (like rock climbing for Mike) can act as a mirror for confronting your deepest fears and psychological blocks.
• Collecting the Buckets: Exploring human needs and why love, friendship, and self-actualization form the essential pillars of a fulfilling life framework.

Can Mike maintain his hard-won peace now that the game is on, or will the honeymoon phase burn down everything he built? Tune in to find out—and hit subscribe so you don't miss what happens next.

Feel stuck and can't actualize? We'd love to hear your story - form  - https://forms.gle/joegCWQ7mHt7eN3K9

Transcript

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[00:00:00] Denis: On this week's episode 

[00:00:01] Eldar: Attachment is like, obviously it's rooted in desire. 

[00:00:05] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:00:05] Eldar: And I think part of 

[00:00:06] things that are rooted in desire, I think they cloud your judgment at least momentarily. 

[00:00:13] Mike: That hype, that craziness- it calms down, and the more aware of what's happening you are in the moment, the better chances you have of controlling that and not, like, letting it slip.

[00:00:25] Eldar: It just shows the makeup of us as humans- Mm ... that we're not just some simple like, "Oh, I gotta get a career and I'm gonna be, have this safety." No, the hierarchy of needs clearly, you know, there's a hierarchy of needs for a reason.

[00:00:43] All right, another episode and, uh, today's topic is an interesting one because I think that everyone in this room actually probably to some degree maybe is afraid of this, concerned about this, thought about this and, and definitely experienced it Uh, but there's a lot of questions around it, so we'll we'll roll it, especially we have a very good example, which Toliy's gonna s- spearhead for me a little bit later.

[00:01:09] But a lot of times we go about our life and we set up these goals or journeys that we go on in order to benefit ourselves or to level ourselves up. It can be small journeys like losing weight, or that could be a big journey. Getting rid of your anxiety, getting therapy for that, and, you know, through different journeys of helping yourself to calm your s- calm your mind down.

[00:01:35] It could be something where you really wanna uproot your whole character, find out, you know, through philosophy who you are, who you used to be, what, what didn't work, what worked. It could be sales, you know, where, you know, you really zeroed in on the project and you wanna grow a team. It could be so many different things.

[00:01:55] But when we grind these these goals or the actions that we try to get there, a lot of times we'll be faced by, um, I guess a fork in the road, where you kinda have to put up or shut up. You have to actually apply some of the tools that you're given. And when you start applying those tools, you go on this completely new journey of, of discovering your new self completely.

[00:02:22] And it can be a much calmer person. It can be a person with less fear, less anxiety. It can be a more confident person. It could be a person who's more successful. But then there comes another moment where we're kinda like, uh, maybe put down some of the skills that we, we've learned or maybe took a little bit of a break.

[00:02:42] We're not as strict with ourselves anymore. We're not as disciplined anymore. And then we have this fear of, like, losing that which we've achieved. I know, babe, um, you plenty of times said like, "You know, I came out of this depression hole that I used to have, you know, and I've established different things like yoga, um, exercising."

[00:03:02] I don't know, some other things that you do for yourself, you know, every single day- Mm-hmm ... in order to get out of bed and feel better. 

[00:03:08] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:03:08] Eldar: Right? And the days that you maybe skip yoga or something else, you start feeling a little panicky almost. 

[00:03:14] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:03:14] Eldar: You're like, "Oh shit, I don't wanna like slip. I don't wanna s- slip."

[00:03:18] Katherine: Yeah. Like I, like I feel, I feel it hovering over me like a cloud. 

[00:03:21] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:03:22] Katherine: Every day. 

[00:03:22] Eldar: Like a clo- oh, for you- Yeah ... it's every day. Yeah. Yeah. But, but when you when you face those things, it's almost like a, a reminder, right? 

[00:03:31] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:03:31] Eldar: That that you need to still maybe work. You still need to find your balance and stuff.

[00:03:36] Katherine: Mm-hmm. 

[00:03:37] Eldar: Yeah. Sometimes you do so much work where you maybe even forget the old self because now that you've, uh, have applied your current self and you're really enjoying your new self and your new- ideologies and things like that, you fall in love with yourself so much that, like, the old person that used to be you that used to do these violations no longer kind of like there, and you kind of completely surprise yourself.

[00:04:00] That's when the reflection point that you talked about, Mike- 

[00:04:02] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:04:03] Eldar: comes in, right? Mm-hmm. Where you kind of like... Tell us about how you feel- Yeah ... how you feel right now recently, because it, your example, I think, points very clearly to this. 

[00:04:10] Mike: Yeah. So maybe, I don't know, a few months ago, two months ago I started thinking about relationships.

[00:04:21] I mean, I've been thinking about relationships for a long time, but never ready to, like, actually do anything because I never did. Yeah. And a few months ago, I, um- I was thinking about relationships and I had a moment where I realized or I was reflecting... Oh, actually I'll tell you exactly what happened, I just remembered.

[00:04:42] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:04:43] Mike: I was sitting in Hackensack with Billy and Greg. Mm-hmm. Okay? And I was, like we're kinda getting to know each other. 

[00:04:50] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:04:50] Mike: It was the guy's birthday, so we're kinda like, you know, talking about previous relationships- 

[00:04:55] Things that we've been through. Obviously Billy's going through a lot with his relationship ending.

[00:04:59] Eldar: Okay. 

[00:04:59] Mike: So he was talking about that, and I was telling the guys, like, what I went through. Like, uh, all the, you know, different moments with all the girls that I had- Mm ... feelings for, that I cared for, that... And how everything played out. And in those moments I guess I was remembering those times, right? And what happened after that is that as I told that story, it was almost like a refresher.

[00:05:23] Like, hey, like, um, this is where I was. This is the way I moved. And then because it was like, it's like you read a book about yourself. 

[00:05:32] And a book that you, uh, about your actions years and years ago, and then when you reread that book you're like, to me at least, it was like, "Oh, shit, I used to be like this?

[00:05:46] But now I don't feel like this at all. I'm not that person anymore." because for the past, I don't know, many years I've been working on myself to not be in that position where I would get into unhealthy relationships. 

[00:06:00] Which was not my, uh, not, obviously not the, the relationship with myself, which was really bad.

[00:06:08] That was causing me to get into that. 

[00:06:10] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:06:10] Mike: And I set out on the journey to finally get a good relationship with myself, because every time that I would get into a romantic relationship it would end up not healthy and a bad place for me because I never, like, uh, had my own self-love- 

[00:06:23] Eldar: Hmm ... 

[00:06:24] Mike: figured out.

[00:06:25] And that was a crazy, like, revelation to me, or a crazy reflection point where I realized, like, holy shit, where I came from and where I am now, how I feel about myself, how I feel about everything that happened to me. Even the way I talk about it I take, like, a crazy responsibility and I don't blame any of the girls that, you know, might have, quote unquote, "used me".

[00:06:46] Mm-hmm. You know, people would say, like, you know, took advantage of me. But I feel like I allowed this, and I feel empowered by saying that because I know it's in my hands, you know? And that's how I felt. I was like, yo, I'm actually empowered. Like, those were obviously tough times, but on the other side of it, after finally deciding to fix myself and my relationship with myself, and then looking back at that, which I think- was huge.

[00:07:15] I realized, oh shit, like I'm here Mm. I guess not the place that I wanted to... Like I was, I wasn't aiming to get here You almost 

[00:07:22] Eldar: surprised yourself. 

[00:07:23] Mike: I almost surprised myself. Like, yo, like who's that guy? 

[00:07:26] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:07:26] Mike: And who's this guy? It's like, yo, we're like- 

[00:07:29] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:07:29] Mike: I used to be like that? Yeah. Not like a crazy, like obviously that's like dra- more dramatic, but like I can't believe I used to be like that, but more so I can't believe how, how I am now.

[00:07:38] Eldar: Mm. 

[00:07:38] Mike: You know, because like I went on some dates and, and girls are telling me like, "Oh, you're very calm. You're like peaceful." And I'm like, "Yo, wait, like I'm, I'm usually like a total nutcase." You know? 

[00:07:48] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:07:49] Mike: Yeah. Like I'm a buzzard, I can't sit still, I can't focus. Like, and for people to tell me I'm calm, it's like, yo, wow, that's like, uh, usually not who I am.

[00:07:57] Yeah. Like, uh- Yeah ... that was also another thing that made me like think about like, yo, wow, I ch- like I have changed a lot. 

[00:08:03] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:03] Mike: And I think the recognition of your, of the changes you've made in the, like, uh, uh, for yourself- It's, it was huge. That was a big thing that happened, 

[00:08:13] Eldar: Yeah. That's a very good testimony.

[00:08:16] You, you- it was so good that- Dennis- ... Dennis fell asleep ... 

[00:08:18] Mike: Dennis fell asleep. 

[00:08:19] Eldar: Yeah, good point. He went, he went deep just now with that. Tell us where you were. Oh, Dennis has been, he's been around for, for a minute, you know? Well, he hasn't been around for, like, 15 years. Well, I think- you know what I- He, he went to Miller's.

[00:08:29] Remember when you went to Miller's? You know what I think what you just did? 

[00:08:30] Denis: I'm listening, you bastard. I thought about something else. I'll let you continue that, but you, since you interrupted me, my thought. 

[00:08:36] Eldar: No, I, no, no, I think that, I think that there's a very specific thing that's interesting that, you know, the way you were looking at him, he's- you go completely frozen.

[00:08:42] Usually Toliy does that. 

[00:08:43] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:08:43] Eldar: Um, 

[00:08:44] Denis: but- I mean, I was definitely, I c- I was trying to put two... I was trying to put the voice to the body together. 

[00:08:49] Eldar: You see? You see? Yeah. What I think he was doing was the continuation of what happened before, where he kinda like- And Dennis has 

[00:08:53] been gone 

[00:08:54] for two years. Think about it

[00:08:55] yes. Yes. Yes. He's been gone, so he hasn't seen the picture of the progression of Mike. Right. So when he was coming, he's like, "Yo, what's wrong with you, bro? Like, you kinda, like, calm and shit. Like, are you tired? Like, you just, like, miserable and tired?" N- 

[00:09:05] Denis: uh this one is different than the f- one, two weeks ago.

[00:09:09] Eldar: No, 

[00:09:09] Denis: sure. The one, two weeks ago was like bef- this is post-Nastya. Uh-huh. This guy's, this guy's... I see the energy. There, there's, like, a- I saw it, like, so I was like, I was like, "Damn," you know? The, the dude was... It's almost like you see he was in that, uh, season, like- 

[00:09:23] Eldar: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:09:23] Denis: the three days before- The season, yeah

[00:09:26] his new life. Your cocoon. But, but he said something the, wh- you thought I was zoning out. You said, one time, I remember. You're not gonna remember this. 

[00:09:32] Eldar: Oh, 

[00:09:33] Denis: crazy. When you just met me and Toliy. It must have been, like, weeks in. 

[00:09:36] Eldar: Uh-huh. 

[00:09:36] Denis: And I was like, you know, we were obviously, like, little goblins, like, oh, yeah.

[00:09:40] Yeah. Trying to hang out with you and shit. Little goblins. And you were like 25 at the time. Yeah, I remember. It's 24, 25, whatever. And you're at the rec and me and you were playing, like, just shooting around or whatever. I'm obviously just draining threes or whatever I was doing, but... And then I was, and then I was like, "Yo, you seem...

[00:09:54] Why you seem so, like... You seem like you got it, like, figured out. Like, you're mad, like, calm." I said the same thing. 

[00:09:59] And you looked at me and you kinda laughed. You were like... You were surprised at that, 'cause you still now you've been around the- You're the guru for a while now. Yeah. At that time, this was just the beginning days- Yeah

[00:10:08] of, like... And, you know, two years with Kat or even less, whatever, Anastasia, all this stuff. Yeah. And then I said that. I'm like, "You, like, y- you got it, like, all figured out. Why you all, like, you're, like, all calm and shit? Like, I wish I could be like that." I said something like that. 

[00:10:20] And you were like, were surprised.

[00:10:21] You're like, "Me? Calm?" Yeah. "All right." Like, you were, you were caught off guard. Yeah. You know? 

[00:10:27] Eldar: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

[00:10:27] Denis: Okay. You were like... Something like, like, you were like- Yeah, you're like, "I'm try- I'm trying," or whatever Mm-hmm And then now as I reflect, that was like the early days of you, you know- becoming who you became.

[00:10:38] You know what I mean? 

[00:10:38] Eldar: Okay. Wow. 

[00:10:39] Denis: So that's funny that you said that. I, I definitely 

[00:10:40] Eldar: don't remember that, but that's cool. 

[00:10:41] Denis: He said that he's looking at the other people saying that to him- Wow ... and I said that to you, I remember. Yeah. But whatever, anyways. 

[00:10:45] Eldar: No, no, it's a good connection. Yeah. At least I'm glad you were able to justify your, your staring into the abyss.

[00:10:49] As long as you, you hit a, hit the 

[00:10:49] Denis: right field. Yeah. 

[00:10:51] Eldar: You hit a right field, so that's good. 

[00:10:52] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:10:52] Eldar: No. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. You were asking me, uh- Yeah, I was asking what do you think about that? Yeah, like that phenomenon that we talked about that Mike just mentioned. You know, after working on yourself, you kind of like reflecting back and you're like, "Oh, wait a second.

[00:11:04] Wow, this is a... There's an actual clear gap" that not only you realize, but now other people are pointing out because... They're not even pointing out the gap. The 

[00:11:12] Katherine: moment you start liking yourself- 

[00:11:14] Eldar: They, yeah ... 

[00:11:15] Yeah. People almost pointing out the obvious maybe to them, right? Like, "Oh, look, look at you.

[00:11:20] Like you're so calm"- Yeah ... or whatever, right? Or like even in the journey of losing weight, a lot of times you go on the journey of losing weight- Mm-hmm ... you're kind of in the journey, and you're kind of working on it obviously, but then people- Yeah ... started noticing and they're like start, "Oh, look- Yeah ... look, you lose weight," or whatever, yeah, I mean, I think it's a good thing of... obviously. Yeah, I feel like when, when people notice that kind of stuff and you're not even thinking about it, I mean, it, you know, definitely feels good obviously. 

[00:11:43] Yeah. 

[00:11:44] But I also think that, not, uh... I don't know if the word is like easy to slip up or some- something else.

[00:11:52] To me at least, the opportunities for whatever that you're doing to maintain yourself and to be a particular way the opportunity for that to get thrown off I feel like is through like attachment. 

[00:12:08] So I feel like oftentimes like w- if you introduce like new things or you desire, desire things, that's where I think it's easy to potentially like- I don't know if the word is, like, slip-up or what, but, um, I definitely notice that for myself Damn, you're 

[00:12:25] Denis: saying the recognition can be dangerous 

[00:12:28] Eldar: No, not, not the recognition.

[00:12:30] Like, the, like, when we all do things, we have, like, a r- routine that we follow or we do things, right? But then, like, if you introduce something, like, if you want something else and you introduce something new, that's when I think it could, like, break your routine potentially and, like- And 

[00:12:47] talking about breaking of the routine, let's take Mike's example.

[00:12:50] Yeah. 

[00:12:51] Mm-hmm. Because obviously he's met somebody. His example- Yeah ... he's met somebody who he really likes, right? And, uh, he had his routine- 

[00:12:58] Yeah ... 

[00:12:59] established routine, and you obviously now like, "Look, now we're gonna see whether or not Mike h- has the abilities or he actually learned stuff in order to keep- Yeah

[00:13:07] to keep the self-love that he's rou- has a routine for. 

[00:13:12] Yeah, and I, I wasn't even talk- thinking about that. Oh. Like, like I w- I was, I was more ta- So me and 

[00:13:16] Denis: you both fucking 

[00:13:17] Eldar: No, no, no. But this is a huge atta- yeah, this could potentially be an attachment No, I, I was more... Yeah, I, I, I was more talking about, like, like one if you have things in, like, a good place- 

[00:13:27] Yeah

[00:13:27] and then you start intro- introduce new things that, like, you as a person want- 

[00:13:31] Yeah ... 

[00:13:31] then it's, you have to be very careful because attachment is, like... o- obviously it's rooted in desire. 

[00:13:40] Yeah. 

[00:13:40] And I think part of things that are rooted in d- desire, I think they cloud your judgment, at least momentarily.

[00:13:48] And this is a good example I think, no? Mm-hmm. Of that. 

[00:13:50] Yeah. 

[00:13:51] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:13:51] Eldar: That's what Mike wanted. 

[00:13:52] Katherine: This would be a great example. 

[00:13:53] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:13:53] Eldar: Right? And he probably wanted it more than anything. Yeah. 

[00:13:57] Mike: Yeah, no, I agree 

[00:13:57] Eldar: with what you're telling me. So this is a very good res- res- Yeah ... example. I know what 

[00:13:59] Mike: Toliy's saying. 

[00:14:00] Eldar: Okay.

[00:14:00] But then, 

[00:14:00] Mike: like, what? He just kinda stay in the philosophy bubble then? 

[00:14:06] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:14:06] Denis: You gotta pretend that, you know, like- 

[00:14:08] Eldar: Holy shit ... 

[00:14:09] Denis: that you ain't got it no more again, you know? 

[00:14:11] Eldar: Yeah. It's coming out of the, you know, let's just say your philosophy bubble- Yeah ... that you've created. 

[00:14:16] Mike: Yes. 

[00:14:16] Eldar: And now, to me, it's the ultimate test- 

[00:14:19] To be able to then present yourself as your new self, let's just say- Yeah ... that developed self- Mm-hmm ... onto the world. 

[00:14:24] Denis: This is- Or this is the game, the game is on now, right? Yes. You know, like now- 

[00:14:27] Eldar: The lights 

[00:14:27] Denis: are on ... now it's game time. 

[00:14:28] Eldar: Now it's game time. You know what I mean? Yeah. 

[00:14:29] Denis: Now it's like you gotta- 

[00:14:30] Eldar: Yeah.

[00:14:30] Put up or shut up. 

[00:14:31] Denis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:32] Eldar: I agree. 

[00:14:33] Mike: Yeah. So- 

[00:14:34] Denis: But I think that pressure could also be good. I see what you're saying, but that could also be good, where it's like, "All right, 

[00:14:39] Mike: cool it." No, what's the point, what's the point of training for a- 100% ... for a life and then never going out and 

[00:14:43] Denis: living it? Yeah. Now it's like now you- Yeah

[00:14:44] you know. And you're gonna learn, and you might even slip up a little bit. Of course. But then that'll be also, 

[00:14:48] Mike: all right, cool. Yeah. 

[00:14:49] Denis: You know? 

[00:14:50] Mike: If you trying to, like, uh, build a life, you have to... You don't have to, but if you add new things into your life, you have to then manage the other things that you have.

[00:14:58] You don't just say, "You know what? I'm gonna get into a relationship, and then I'm gonna stop going to the gym, going to work, and I'll just focus on that." What you try to do is you, you know, obviously you try to Incorporate that into your life- Yeah ... in a healthy way as possible. But obviously in the beginning, at least for me- Mm-hmm

[00:15:16] it's definitely a lot of more balance towards spending time with her, talking to her. 

[00:15:21] But I also value my routine, and yeah, I wanna keep 

[00:15:26] Denis: that- It's what got you there in the first place. 

[00:15:27] Mike: Yeah, 100%. Well, Toliy was very skeptical at least a couple of days ago- 

[00:15:31] Denis: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:15:31] Mike: when we had a conversation 

[00:15:32] Eldar: about- Yeah

[00:15:33] uh, having the ability to actually keep this balance. Yeah, it's understandable. Yeah, I mean- 

[00:15:37] Denis: But it's very... With love is very difficult. Well, this is what he just said. 

[00:15:41] Katherine: It's- With love- That's probably the- You don't care about 

[00:15:45] Denis: nothing ... 

[00:15:45] Eldar: the strongest pull. Yeah. Yeah, you don't 

[00:15:45] Denis: care about nothing. You cannot.

[00:15:46] Yeah. Well, see, like again, 

[00:15:47] Katherine: why? Elder lost a job because of that, remember? Yeah. Yeah. I always bring that example, yeah. 

[00:15:52] Denis: Oh, the movie theaters. No, n- uh, security. Yeah. 

[00:15:55] Katherine: No, no. You, uh- He, he, he took me on, on one of the cases- Yeah ... or whatever- Oh AMA ... and the kid told his mom and- Yeah ... lost his job It was also some 

[00:16:00] Denis: security that you lo- whatever.

[00:16:01] That was, that was different. That was a different thing. 

[00:16:02] Eldar: That was a different thing. You lost a lot. No, 

[00:16:04] Denis: we 

[00:16:04] Eldar: didn't 

[00:16:04] Denis: care about that. Yeah. 

[00:16:05] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:16:06] Mike: But yeah, 

[00:16:07] Eldar: you can definitely s- 

[00:16:08] Mike: you know. Mm-hmm. And obviously I know that, um, and, you know, obviously, like, I'm definitely spread thin right now. Yeah. I'm aware of that.

[00:16:15] Like, you know, l- low sleep. 

[00:16:16] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:16:17] Mike: You know probably lack of, like, ability to concentrate and focus on certain things 'cause I have low sleep, maybe more prone to be, make more mistakes or a little bit, you know- 

[00:16:24] Eldar: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:16:25] Mike: tired and short, you know, with people sometimes. But I'm aware of it, and obviously I value my routine, um- Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:33] Eldar: So now the next question is then how? How are you gonna for everyone- 

[00:16:38] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:16:38] Eldar: right? For everyone. If you got there- 

[00:16:41] If you like what you got when you got there- 

[00:16:44] How do you upkeep 

[00:16:45] Mike: it? Well, I'm not sure, like, uh, if this is the way it's supposed to be or not supposed to be.

[00:16:52] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:52] Mike: But in the beginning, when you meet somebody or you do anything new, you definitely become very curious and wanting to, you know, de- dedicate a lot of time, right? When you discover something that you love, right? 

[00:17:01] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:01] Mike: Probably in the beginning when we started rock climbing, we probably went a lot, three, four days a week maybe.

[00:17:05] Yeah. You know? 

[00:17:05] Eldar: Obsessing. 

[00:17:06] Mike: Obsessing over it because it's brings you a lot of good things. 

[00:17:09] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:17:09] Mike: You know? Uh, we probably went when we were tired, you know, probably went when we shouldn't have went, you know? Yeah. That was an easier example, but I think that's a natural process when you really dedicate yourself to something, right?

[00:17:20] Like, when you decide to add something to your life, you've definitely put a lot of energy into it. 

[00:17:27] But eventually, right, that hype, that craziness- 

[00:17:31] Denis: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:17:32] Mike: it calms down, and the more aware of what's happening you are in the moment- The better chances you have of controlling that and not, like, letting it slip, because you can go on that rollercoaster honeymoon phase- 

[00:17:46] Eldar: Yeah

[00:17:47] Mike: with anything. 

[00:17:48] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:17:48] Mike: And then you might not realize that, you know, your whole shit is cooked. 

[00:17:51] Eldar: That's right, and I think that this is important topic because I'm not sure if a lot of people have the ability or actually thought this thing through- Mm-hmm ... to be able to incorporate. Let's just say you have four things on your plate- 

[00:18:04] Mike: Mm-hmm

[00:18:04] Eldar: that you like about yourself, that you do routinely every single day. Yeah. And now you do still want the fifth thing. You don't have it yet. 

[00:18:11] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:12] Eldar: You know? And now let's just say you're, you're getting it. 

[00:18:15] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:15] Eldar: That's a relationship. That's a per- that's another person that you can share this with.

[00:18:18] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:18:18] Eldar: However, that one thing that can definitely shake up the other four. How do you incorporate all those things together to ensure that there's harmony between everything that you're doing? Therefore, it's just gonna add to your character- Mm-hmm ... add to your, your abilities, and add to your happiness, because now all the things that you wanted are synchron- synchronized- Mm-hmm

[00:18:40] in such a way where they're adding to you and not taking away from you. 

[00:18:44] Mike: Yeah. I think- like, through the process of, of the, that I went through in the past years- you know, past five years, whatever, six years, one thing that I really believed in, believe in and understood, and I don't always follow, and I think this might be the an example of it, um, I understood for myself, like, how I wanna live my life and what's extremely important to me, like, the most important thing.

[00:19:15] Mm-hmm. Right? And that's in d- independent of, like, a relationship or my hobbies or interests is to w- my desire to, like, live a good life. But I and that understanding to me is to constantly try my best to do that, to examine my life. 

[00:19:38] To be aware of what's going on, and to become extremely sensitive when things are going a certain way that is now not allowing me to do that or affecting my life, right?

[00:19:50] Eldar: You took a vow. 

[00:19:52] Mike: Yeah, Dennis loves vows, so Dennis, I'll use that word for you. I took a vow. You know? 

[00:19:59] Eldar: Hold on a second. I think, I think we have to give Dennis right now... We have to pause- Pause ... and give Dennis the mic in order to give- Yeah ... him, to shout out some compliments towards Mike, 'cause you know, you like what you just heard.

[00:20:08] Mike: Yeah. I don't... 

[00:20:11] Katherine: Where- He doesn't like the 

[00:20:12] Denis: vow comment ... after the thing is I don't- ... I don't understand the vow comment. 

[00:20:13] Eldar: Yeah. I decided who I 

[00:20:16] Mike: wanna be. 

[00:20:17] Eldar: Like, I made that choice of- Nice chair. That's what you 

[00:20:18] Denis: really want. Yes. That was good. Nice chair. 

[00:20:22] Mike: Yes, thank 

[00:20:23] Denis: you. 

[00:20:23] Mike: Yeah. It's a good chair? 

[00:20:24] Denis: It's a great chair. 

[00:20:25] Mike: See?

[00:20:26] Denis: Good chair. I'm very, I'm very comfortable. Thank you. 

[00:20:28] Mike: All right. Yes. I think I finally picked a side of who I wanna be in my life. 

[00:20:32] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:20:33] Mike: Right? And because for a long time I had, like, an identity crisis or, like, a split identity of, like, I didn't know who I wanna be. Do I wanna be Mike? You were always the, I'm gonna use a sales term now, you were always the

[00:20:47] Eldar: I mean, Toliy, you were supposed to read my mind here. 

[00:20:49] What? 

[00:20:51] Not the lead magnet. Oh, the tire kicker. 

[00:20:53] Denis: He was supposed- No. 

[00:20:53] Eldar: No, not a tire kicker. What the 

[00:20:55] heck? 

[00:20:56] What? It's a splinter of your core offer. The, uh, the, uh, um, trip, uh- The tripwire ... tripwire. 

[00:21:04] Denis: Yes. Whoa, whoa, where you know these kind 

[00:21:05] Eldar: of terms from, dude?

[00:21:06] It's a sales term, Mike. I just, I just- Wow, I don't 

[00:21:07] Denis: know that term, but- 

[00:21:08] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:21:08] Denis: you got a funnel or what? 

[00:21:12] Mike: You got a CF funnel? 

[00:21:13] Eldar: Yeah, can I see your funnel? Sales talk, babe, sorry. Yeah. You're always the tripwire. You weren't the core offer. 

[00:21:19] Mike: Yeah. I'm not sure what that is, but I'll take the 

[00:21:21] Eldar: role for it. It's a spl- okay, there's a core offer that you're offering.

[00:21:23] For example, it costs $100. 

[00:21:25] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[00:21:25] Eldar: But then you- a splinter of that can be, like, a $299. 

[00:21:29] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:21:29] Eldar: And you get some of it, you know? They bait you in. Yeah, they bait you in, 

[00:21:32] Denis: you know? Lead magnet is also another 

[00:21:33] Eldar: thing. Tripwire, lead magnet, yes. Yeah, 

[00:21:35] Denis: yeah. Is he a lead magnet or what? 

[00:21:37] Eldar: Well, he was a tripwire. Now he's saying that I'm the core offer.

[00:21:39] Yeah. 

[00:21:39] Denis: Yeah, yeah, he's top of funnel. 

[00:21:41] Eldar: Yeah.

[00:21:44] Denis: Yes. Not bad, bro. You made it to the top, bro. You're not just, like, a- 

[00:21:47] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:21:47] Denis: quick, impulsive checkout buy anymore. 

[00:21:50] Mike: I don't be shopping. Yeah. Right? So- 

[00:21:55] Eldar: Sorry, Mike ... 

[00:21:55] Mike: and I, and I, I mean that's, like, um, a big thing that I believe in. 

[00:22:03] And I, again, I don't always do that, but I always try to keep myself to, you know, the ability to come back to that if I do make mistakes- Mm-hmm

[00:22:13] and I do slip up, you know? That's your 

[00:22:14] Eldar: core. 

[00:22:14] Mike: I... Yeah. That's my core, you know? Mm-hmm. And I try to recognize the mistakes when I, you know, came and to those moments. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it's quicker till you realize what you're doing wrong, you know? Yeah. 

[00:22:27] Eldar: So you took a vow? 

[00:22:28] Mike: Yeah, I did take a vow.

[00:22:33] Katherine: Where is that coming from? I 

[00:22:36] Mike: don't know. Okay, but- Where is- You, you know, you like those kind of keywords. 

[00:22:38] Eldar: Yeah, he does. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I love those. Yeah. But trust me, on the third or the fourth one, he's gonna be buzzing about it. Yeah? Look at... 

[00:22:45] Denis: He's 

[00:22:45] Eldar: fed up. I'm 

[00:22:46] Denis: trying to understand what, like, what is it, the Nithyananda shit or what?

[00:22:49] Eldar: No, but bro, like, you came from that camp, you know what I'm saying? Like, like, I'm gonna vow to myself, I'm, I'm gonna just, like, you know, that's it, I'm gonna focus, I'm gonna zero in. Discipline? You mean discipline? Like discipline. It's, it's in that 

[00:22:58] Denis: camp. But... N- I mean, I guess. If- Vow is more like, you know.

[00:23:02] Eldar: It's like a overarching goal, 

[00:23:04] Denis: you know? Discipline is not a vow. He, he, 

[00:23:05] Eldar: he agreed to be, like, the man in the, uh- Arena ... arena, yeah. 

[00:23:09] Yes. 

[00:23:09] Denis: Yeah. Mm. No, but jokes aside, that is interesting. Like, wait, I'm, finally it came to me what you were trying to say. 'Cause bridge, you're trying to bridge 

[00:23:16] Eldar: the gap for him, yes.

[00:23:17] Denis: It takes a while. Takes a while to, you know, you got a lot of wisdom. That's good. But it's true, right? 'Cause like I, you know, I've now six years later I can see the, our, in my relationship, kind of the curve of, like, you're in the honeymoon phase, which is also, yeah, I didn't think about that part, where it's like- 

[00:23:30] Eldar: Mm

[00:23:30] Denis: you also are, are, back then, or it's, I don't know, you, for three years, but, like, you tend to, Jump 

[00:23:36] off the deep end ... blow your load. Yes. 

[00:23:38] Mike: You know? Like, 

[00:23:39] Denis: fuck it. Oh, yeah.

[00:23:44] All right, well then, do something I need. Yeah, yeah. You know, let's hang out. Yeah. You sound 

[00:23:46] Mike: like, you sound like Julius there. Yeah? Yeah. 

[00:23:48] Denis: But no, but so yeah, you gotta have, you know, you're gonna... And then also interesting is that, like, the, you know, God willing they work out, is that she's gonna have to learn- Wait, 

[00:23:59] Eldar: why God willing they work out?

[00:24:01] Denis: Well, it's a good, like I'm saying. Like, it's not like, I'm not saying it in a negative way, I'm saying God wil- you know, I'm- He's saying he wishes them well ... I, I'm a spiritual guy, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm believing in God. 

[00:24:07] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:24:07] Denis: You know what I mean? God willing, like, with God's help. We al- listen, Inshallah, Marshallah, you know what I'm saying?

[00:24:13] We need all the help we can get. Even the man upstairs. Anyways, uh- the honeymoon. 

[00:24:21] Like she's gonna have to... 'Cause, like, whether he admits it or not, we all, that moment you put your best foot forward. You know what I mean? Like- Mm-hmm ... you, you, you take the little spray of cologne, you know what I mean?

[00:24:31] I haven't even, I haven't used it in forever. Oh, my bad. My bad. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I won't. Yeah. No free advertising. Uh, but, but then it's like that's the real work. It's true, where it's like- 

[00:24:39] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:24:39] Denis: where you can slip up, too, which is like y- like, you got her now. You know what I mean? Like, and then, d- this might be in a week.

[00:24:46] It might... It's not, I'm not talking about years. Mm-hmm. You know? 

[00:24:49] And then, like, you also have to, like, introduce the next levels of who he is. 'Cause that's all, like, we're all, we're all challenge- you know, we got a lot of layers. She knows one level of Mike, which hopefully he's doing a good job of showing everything, but- 

[00:25:01] Eldar: She, she doesn't know Mike the iceberg

[00:25:02] Denis: It's, you c- it's impossible to show your whole layer. Catherine did not know you in one day. You know what I mean? 

[00:25:07] Eldar: Like- I think Catherine still doesn't know me. And that's, I think... No, no, no, no, no, and I'ma tell you this right now. The re- only reason why I'm saying that is not because if it's a this or whatever, because I think that as you go throughout life, you, if you are learning, if you continue- Yes

[00:25:19] to learn and grow- Go through change ... correct. Evolve. Yeah. So you evolve. Change. So potentially, right, like the Mike that's sitting here right now, if he continues to, uh, do what he's doing, of being a persistent bugger with his vow- 

[00:25:31] Katherine: Polishing 

[00:25:31] Eldar: himself ... to continue, to continue to ask these questions about himself and learning, he's gonna keep growing.

[00:25:36] Yeah. Everyone in this room will continue- Absolutely ... to grow. So what happens is, yes, there's a honeymoon stage, but there's always a get-to-knowing stage of each other anyway, because everyone is on a different journey right now. Like, we, Toliy knows this. Like, Toliy's going through s- a phase right now through his metamorphosis and stuff.

[00:25:50] I know what, I know his story. I know Catherine's story, what she's going through. And those are completely different people. Yeah. Those are completely different identities that they could potentially, uh, achieve, and for Mike as well. Yeah. And I don't know what the hell you're doing. That's why we're catching up right now.

[00:26:05] Denis: But it's also, like- 

[00:26:07] Eldar: Some people deteriorate. Hey, yo. She, uh- No. 

[00:26:11] Denis: Uh- 

[00:26:11] Eldar: Regress a little bit, to go back to fighting better. Yeah. 

[00:26:14] Sometimes ... 

[00:26:15] Denis: but, like, she'll also have to, there'll be a process of- her learning all elements of, like, when he says the other things that keep me balanced, to this, to that, like, for, for example- 

[00:26:25] Eldar: No, wait, hold on one second.

[00:26:26] I got an example. I'm sorry. I'm, I'm gonna cut you off again. 

[00:26:27] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:26:28] Eldar: What I, my rant was because at the end of the day, I think that everyone in life at least, or everyone that wants to be in a relationship, I hope that they wanna be in a relationship that is forever growing relationship. 

[00:26:39] Mike: Absolutely. 

[00:26:40] Eldar: Forever learning relationship, because yes, there is a honeymoon stage where you're like- Mm-hmm

[00:26:44] holy shit, ramping up, right? Yeah. We're getting to know each other. We're catching up almost. Like, who are we? Yeah. You know? But I think that, you know, at least in my relationship too, it's like, if we continue to, to grow in our relationship- Yeah ... there's gonna be discoveries of new things- Yeah

[00:26:58] and our new selves, and, like- Yeah ... that's awesome, I think. Yeah. Sorry, we- No, we, we spoke about that ... that's what I wanted to 

[00:27:02] Mike: say. No, for sure. Well, that's what we, we have spoken about that. 

[00:27:02] Eldar: And therefore, and therefore, I think that with that being said, I think that love is being preserved within that w- um, understanding of this thing that we're going through- Yeah

[00:27:13] together. 

[00:27:14] Mike: Absolutely. 

[00:27:14] Eldar: You know what I mean? Yeah. And if that's the case, our love can potentially preserve itself within that because both are willing and able, like, yo, participants, like, yo, raising your hand like, "I wanna be better for you, and you wanna be better for me." And we kinda just keep balancing off of that.

[00:27:27] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. We, we actually did speak about what, uh, what, what you just said- Mm-hmm ... is that, 

[00:27:32] Eldar: yeah, like- Like, it's never ending ... 

[00:27:33] Mike: for love to, like, uh, stick around, to s- to thrive- To 

[00:27:37] Eldar: live. Yeah ... 

[00:27:37] Mike: both people, I mean, yes, they don't have to, but it, f- probably f- for that is a requirement for that to happen- Mm-hmm

[00:27:44] both people should be, uh, improving themselves- 

[00:27:47] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:27:48] Mike: um, and growing, evolving to become- Yeah ... better versions of themselves and f- and better versions for the other person as well. 

[00:27:55] Eldar: Yeah. And I think only in successful, loving, caring relationships- Mm-hmm ... that is an endless thing. 

[00:28:00] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:01] Eldar: It never ends.

[00:28:01] It's forever. It never ends. 

[00:28:02] Mike: You can never, like, finish. 

[00:28:03] Eldar: Has it ended in our relationship, babe? 

[00:28:07] Katherine: What? The, uh- 

[00:28:07] Eldar: The growth. Like- 

[00:28:09] Katherine: No ... 

[00:28:09] Eldar: you see? It's like, it's constantly something, right? Yeah, 

[00:28:11] Katherine: yeah. There's 

[00:28:12] Eldar: something going on. Yeah. We're constantly thinking about something. Mm-hmm. There's a storyline. You know- And I feel like-

[00:28:17] I mean, 

[00:28:17] Katherine: Cat 

[00:28:17] Eldar: the Phoenix is a 

[00:28:18] Katherine: thing ... and like we're always kinda like growing- 

[00:28:19] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:28:20] Katherine: on, on that. Yeah. Yeah. We always have the, you know- You know ... something going on and- 

[00:28:23] Mike: Otherwise it w- like it's not, it won't last. If, uh, es- like sh- as f- for ex- if extended periods of time of like- 

[00:28:29] Katherine: Yeah ... 

[00:28:30] Mike: no growth for s- one person in 

[00:28:32] Katherine: a 

[00:28:32] Mike: relationship- 

[00:28:32] Katherine: There would be no spark

[00:28:33] with another- No- 

[00:28:33] Mike: Yeah ... it won't be, it w- It's like- No 

[00:28:35] Katherine: joy, 

[00:28:35] Mike: right? Yeah, there's no... It won't stick around. 

[00:28:39] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:28:40] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:28:41] Eldar: I mean, I even said that when Catherine was going through some of her stuff- Mm-hmm ... when she's finally, like, coming out of her shell a little bit. I'm like, I got, it's like I got a new wife. 

[00:28:48] She's, like, exploring now a little bit more. Yeah. And that's good to see. 

[00:28:51] Mike: Yeah, it's great. 

[00:28:52] Eldar: Obviously. 

[00:28:53] Denis: You h- had fun so far? You're in, what, is it a week and a half in? 

[00:28:56] Eldar: It's a week, man. No. It'll be nice. 

[00:28:57] Denis: A week it's been? Only 

[00:28:58] Eldar: a week? Yeah, a week. Yeah. Wow. Thursday, 

[00:28:59] Denis: the last day of the week. A week in your life is like wow.

[00:29:02] Eldar: That's like Love Island li- uh, timeline. It's like 

[00:29:03] Katherine: Love Island. 

[00:29:04] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:29:05] Denis: What'd you learn so far? Like one thing. Give us one thing, you know? One thing? Like something 

[00:29:09] Katherine: wa- One, one nugget. One nugget of wisdom ... 

[00:29:11] Mike: that you're like, "Ah." Man, I gotta stay humble, but I didn't learn anything, man. 

[00:29:14] Denis: Come on, give us something, you know?

[00:29:15] I 

[00:29:15] Mike: already knew everything. 

[00:29:16] Denis: Well, what's your, what's your, what is the biggest surprise so far? 

[00:29:19] Mike: Biggest surprise? Myself. Okay, 

[00:29:24] Denis: got 

[00:29:24] Mike: it. How, how I- 

[00:29:25] Denis: That's to you. 

[00:29:27] Mike: No, I gotta- We'll be right back ... I gotta, I gotta hit you with the classic, you know, things. I know you like, uh- 

[00:29:31] Denis: Yeah ... 

[00:29:31] Mike: you like that. What surprised me the most?

[00:29:32] I don't, I don't- We need a 

[00:29:32] Katherine: headline, Mike ... 

[00:29:33] Denis: you hit me, but I don't. 

[00:29:35] Mike: To me, what surprised me the most, um is myself, how I've changed and how I, I'm approaching it. Um- What else, all I, I've noticed is that how it feels and it's totally different than how it was before for me. 

[00:29:51] Denis: Really? 

[00:29:51] Mike: Yes. Yeah. 

[00:29:53] Denis: So no similar- I'm not-

[00:29:54] feelings? 

[00:29:55] Mike: I'm not the same person that I used to, that I was before. I have, like, my own self-love. I'm not looking for somebody to tell me I'm, like, good enough- Right ... or that they love me and they're, and then that's gonna solve my problem of, like, not loving myself. I passed that already.

[00:30:15] So I'm coming in, like, uh into this with a more empowered state, um- And not desperate how I was before, yeah, 

[00:30:31] that's good. 'Cause that was a big thing, you know? I always thought, like, somebody's gonna s- like, you know, love me and then I can love myself. That was a big thing that I always said to myself, like, uh- 

[00:30:40] Denis: You had, like, a weird thing back then where- 

[00:30:43] Mike: No kidding

[00:30:44] Denis: you, you didn't like, uh ... There was never a point in those years when you were, you know, going through your cycles of, uh, you know- ... of, of, uh- Why you gotta say it like that? ... self-in- self-inflicted torture. Yeah. Like, y- I never got the sense ever where ... You know, like, sometimes, like, a person's just like a dolboeb.

[00:31:01] You know what I mean? Yeah, like a retard. Like, "Oh, okay, that makes sense." Yeah. Yeah. Like, you were always, 'cause you were always, like, talking to them and ... So, like, I never felt ... It's almost like even back then you were consciously going into it. You know what I mean? I think it's- Like, you consciously went on the 

[00:31:13] Mike: flight- 

[00:31:13] Denis: So 

[00:31:13] Mike: I'm gonna tell you- You know what I mean?

[00:31:14] I'm gonna tell you exactly what you're asking. I'm gonna tell you my explanation if I understand you correctly. I had a l- some knowledge back then, but I was too much of a pussy to put that into action. 

[00:31:26] Denis: That's wild. 

[00:31:27] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:31:28] Denis: T- that means, like you knew- 

[00:31:30] Mike: But when you- ... the truth and you're like, "Ah"

[00:31:31] well, like Tol- like Tol- like Toliy said, when you have a desire- 

[00:31:35] Denis: Yeah ... 

[00:31:36] Mike: it could, um, be a very- Blinding ... painful thing for y- for you. It 

[00:31:40] Denis: means- 'Cause I remember very vividly you sitting with these guys, like t- like, before, like, a, you know, one of the, whatever- Mm-hmm ... the last one, whatever. They're ironing out for you, you know, exactly what's gonna happen play by play, and I remember trolling you.

[00:31:54] I'm like, "Yo, you know where you ... Like, y- what, what ..." You know? 

[00:31:56] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:31:56] Denis: And you, you were like ... There was never a point where, you know, you're just kinda like, "Ah, like, I don't wanna listen to it." 

[00:32:02] You sat there and listened to 

[00:32:04] Mike: it. Yeah. 

[00:32:04] Denis: And then went on the plane. You know? 

[00:32:06] Mike: Yeah. Well, you know, uh I'm a slow starter, bro.

[00:32:10] Denis: Yeah, no, it's 

[00:32:10] Mike: interesting. It takes me a long time to warm up. Yeah. 

[00:32:12] Denis: The, the, 

[00:32:13] Mike: uh- And he's fucking 

[00:32:14] Katherine: pain 

[00:32:14] Mike: resilient 

[00:32:14] Denis: Or do you, like, just, like- Was ... you, you wanna, like to prove out the theory, like, almost prove the ... You know what I mean? Like, what did, what do you think it was? I think, uh, I 

[00:32:22] Mike: may ... I'm not sure, but maybe it is- Some 

[00:32:23] Eldar: people needed- 

[00:32:24] Denis: No

[00:32:24] Eldar: needed to see Jesus, 

[00:32:25] Katherine: and some people needed to hear about him No, but you're also ... You're, you're right about his pain th- threshold. 

[00:32:29] Denis: Yes. Yeah, 

[00:32:29] Eldar: but it 

[00:32:29] Katherine: was high. Yeah, but no one's like ... 

[00:32:30] Denis: No, no one just, 

[00:32:31] Eldar: like, believes somebody. But if you're, if you're ... Mostly if you're dumb, you have a, a, a high pain tolerance.

[00:32:36] Denis: Yes. 

[00:32:37] Katherine: Yeah, 'cause you need to- Yeah ... keep on- Yes ... making the same mistake. 

[00:32:40] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:32:40] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:32:41] Eldar: To, to, to be hurt. 

[00:32:41] Katherine: It's true. Yeah. 

[00:32:42] Eldar: Like, the pain has to finally get through to you. 

[00:32:44] Mike: Yes. 

[00:32:44] Eldar: Yeah. And you're like, "Oh, shit, I'm in pain." 

[00:32:46] Katherine: Yeah. Also, 

[00:32:46] Mike: my 

[00:32:47] Eldar: whole 

[00:32:47] Katherine: association with, um- I've, I've been there, done that. ... 

[00:32:49] Mike: with learning 

[00:32:50] Katherine: was- Still doing it

[00:32:51] Mike: was I think ... I don't know if you were here for that episode, but- Uh-huh ... my whole association with learning was always very bad because of my relationship with my dad and how he didn't, like, uh, let me learn properly. 

[00:33:02] Denis: But how did that translate here? Like, these guys always let you learn. 

[00:33:07] Eldar: Well, I think we would encourage learning- Yeah

[00:33:08] versus not. Right. Yeah. 

[00:33:10] Denis: That's what I'm saying. 

[00:33:11] Mike: But it took, I mean- 

[00:33:11] Eldar: But we know that the thing is you need to- But it- Sorry, Mike. You need to identify what type of learning. I don't think that at least maybe his dad at that time didn't identify how Mike learned. Right. And he sent a lot of mixed messages during learning.

[00:33:23] Denis: And 

[00:33:24] Eldar: that- Wherein here- ... affected him even when you were helping him. That too, yeah, probably still. 

[00:33:28] Mike: Oh, yeah. It was almost like, yeah. So many, many years of condition- 

[00:33:30] Eldar: Conditioning, yeah ... 

[00:33:31] Mike: from a young age where you're extremely like a sponge. You absorb everything- Yeah ... and you like You, like, live that out. Like, it's, like, crazy deep inside you.

[00:33:42] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:33:42] Mike: Until you finally dig it out and dig it up and can- 

[00:33:47] Face it, see it. Yeah. 

[00:33:48] Denis: So you're saying self-esteem, this t- this go around, you definitely feel, like, more, like, rooted in yourself of, like- 

[00:33:54] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:33:54] Denis: you know, a little bit, a little bit of who you are 

[00:33:56] Mike: and- I mean, I'm not sure. Maybe Elder can give you, like a, like a testimony cause I don't really know how to say it properly, but or phrase the w- the, the way, the way I think and the way I feel.

[00:34:07] But the stuff that I went through, which is probably one of the biggest, like, uh, great- greatest, like, mo- moments or times of my life is most challenging, like, most difficult and most rewarding, is the last, like, year and a half that we've been rock climbing. Has, like, uh, shaped my character in a crazy way.

[00:34:28] Denis: What is it with this where this rock climbing apparently has me- metamorphical- I, uh- ... metaphorical 

[00:34:33] Mike: No, no, it's a crazy, 

[00:34:36] Denis: it's a crazy thing. There's magic water over there. It's a crazy thing. Yeah. I'm done in and out. 

[00:34:37] Mike: It, you know, um- I should try this ... you have to face yourself. That's crazy. Yeah. No. It's an, uh- I'm not fit enough

[00:34:41] the simple example is, I checked the day pass, brother. 40 bucks for a day. Yo, this is too far out of 

[00:34:49] Eldar: my- Get you, get you... Yeah, no, no, it's not working Dennis is trying to- We got, we 

[00:34:49] Denis: got- ... come through ... we, we got guest passes. No, true. We have guest passes. I'll do it one time just to check it out. Yeah, 

[00:34:53] Eldar: one time and 

[00:34:56] Denis: w- Forget about it

[00:34:57] and done, and that's it. One and done. 

[00:34:57] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:34:57] Denis: Yeah. He keeps asking me. I gotta do... Anyways, my bad, go ahead. 

[00:34:59] Mike: Yeah. I think the example of uh, the association with rock climbing is I was, uh, willfully going into hell, my own internal hell, and I kept wanting to go back in there. 

[00:35:13] Denis: Willfully. You see, 

[00:35:13] Mike: yeah.

[00:35:14] Willfully. 

[00:35:14] Denis: Yeah, 

[00:35:14] Mike: yeah. I willfully wanted to go face my worst side, my worst weaknesses, my worst, like, the worst side of myself. All my worst qualities lived in rock climbing and me. 

[00:35:24] Denis: Okay. 

[00:35:24] Mike: And going there, keep going, keep pushing, succeeding some days, not succeeding, failing some days miserably. You know, fighting myself, talking bad to myself.

[00:35:34] That, like, rock climbing was like, bro, it's like, I don't know, talking to God or whatever- Really? ... you wanna call it. Wow. It's like hearing a voice, and He answers you back. And He, and your own actions, your own beliefs, all that comes out. It's crazy, bro. Talking 

[00:35:49] Eldar: to 

[00:35:49] Denis: God. He, wow. 

[00:35:50] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. You 

[00:35:51] Eldar: have to pay $5 

[00:35:52] Denis: for 

[00:35:52] Eldar: higher stone, bro.

[00:35:52] Hey, guys, whoever- Adam ... whoever is listening to this episode right now, I mean, look, rock climbing is not gonna do it. It did it for Mike for very- For me ... specific reasons. Yeah, yeah. 

[00:36:01] Mike: For sure. 

[00:36:01] Eldar: So we're not saying that, look, rock climbing is gonna unlock you and all this other shit. No. No. Mike has a history as to why this happened the way it did.

[00:36:09] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:36:09] Eldar: You know, and rock climbing was one thing that actually faced him to actually, to himself one-on-one, and he learned a lot through going on that wall and facing those fears- Mm-hmm ... and himself. 

[00:36:20] Mike: Yeah 

[00:36:20] Eldar: You know? 

[00:36:21] Mike: Yeah, my worst, like, qualities and my worst qualities of how I believe myself to who I am.

[00:36:26] Like, no love for myself, no self-esteem, no belief- No 

[00:36:29] Denis: confidence ... 

[00:36:29] Mike: no confidence. And then I kept going there to, like, break through to prove to myself that I'm not that. I, and if I am- I can see it for sure ... I don't wanna be that anymore. 

[00:36:38] Denis: You channeled it through, like, a craft. Like, you know, we, you know? 

[00:36:42] Mike: Yeah.

[00:36:42] Denis: Like a, like a challenge, you know? 

[00:36:43] Mike: The rock climbing was just an, just the, the- 

[00:36:46] Eldar: The vessel ... 

[00:36:46] Denis: the- A tool, 

[00:36:47] Mike: yeah ... the, the canvas, you know? Yeah, 

[00:36:48] Denis: the craft. The canvas. No, it's true. It makes sense. 

[00:36:51] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:36:52] Denis: It makes 100% sense. Yeah. 

[00:36:53] Mike: Yeah. It was huge. But again, also I think it wasn't just the rock climbing that did it. It- it's al- it's always a combination of things and pieces that come together, yeah. 

[00:37:04] It was rock climbing plus the journey I was on before rock climbing. Then rock climbing gave me, like, huge tests to say, "Hey, are you gonna practice this?" Rock climbing is just an opportunity to put more of my philosophy and my belief system into action to see if I really want it, if I'm about that life, you know?

[00:37:20] So, like, all these things, they're not just random opportunities or random moments. They're there, they serve a purpose. 

[00:37:28] Denis: I got a question for you. Mm. Hopefully you can be honest about it. You ready? Oh, shit. If possible. Uh, in this new week of a chapter- Mm-hmm ... in your life. Yeah. Uh, any fears right now?

[00:37:40] Mike: Fears? Yeah, I got some fears. Some fear over here. Yeah. 

[00:37:45] Katherine: We got a fear. Goddamn 

[00:37:46] Harrison: it, Mr. Sark, please give us a goddamn quote. 

[00:37:51] Katherine: No. 

[00:37:51] Mike: Did a wrong one. I know. I don't know which one it is. Is there one? 

[00:37:55] Katherine: We got a fear over here. 

[00:37:57] Harrison: Oh, boy, I think we got a fear 

[00:38:00] Mike: over here.

[00:38:04] Yeah. So what's your fears, Mike, 

[00:38:06] Eldar: right now? 

[00:38:07] Mike: Fears? It's more, it's like, uh, wanting to be cautious being able to focus in the moment, properly communicating, it's also, again, it, it is like, uh, now putting those things into practice that I've learned, but not letting n- controlling the excitement, right?

[00:38:30] Not letting the chestnuts speak for you.

[00:38:36] Chestnuts. Yeah.

[00:38:41] Word's up, D. Yeah. All right. Yeah, those things. Like, uh not going so fast that I'm not n- in control of what's going on. And obviously- 

[00:38:52] Denis: What are the, what are the fears on the other side of the fence? 

[00:38:55] Mike: Other side of the fence? '

[00:38:56] Denis: Cause that's also- 

[00:38:57] Mike: I 

[00:38:58] Denis: mean, I could- ... you know, that's your challenge to deal with, right?

[00:38:59] Mike: Like, you know what I mean? Like- I mean, you, you can, you would have to ask her, you know? 

[00:39:02] Denis: Okay. 

[00:39:03] Mike: Her fears. Fair enough. You know, I think that'd be right if you wanted to- That's true, 

[00:39:06] Denis: yeah ... 

[00:39:06] Mike: find out. 

[00:39:07] Denis: All right. 

[00:39:08] Mike: But, yeah. When's 

[00:39:09] Denis: she coming on? I 

[00:39:10] Mike: don't know. Sh- I can ask her to, uh, make a guest appearance. Okay. Nice.

[00:39:17] Eldar: Yeah. All right, nice. 

[00:39:18] I picture right, right now, if she was here the first question Denis would like ask, he'd be like, like he'd open his mouth and be like, "Ah, so you like him?" Yeah, you're right. He does think I like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

[00:39:31] Denis: That was perfect, Tolik. That was good, yes. Wow. I like that. It's true, I like that.

[00:39:36] That was good. Listen, there's nothing more, more, you know what I mean? We gotta 

[00:39:39] Eldar: get to the- Yeah. "A sho tebe nravitsya s nim?" Yeah. What do you like about him? 

[00:39:44] Denis: Yeah. What do you like about my, my daughter, kind of a thing. 

[00:39:47] Eldar: Yes. Yes. 

[00:39:48] Denis: That was pretty good. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. If only you guys weren't audio only.

[00:39:52] Yeah. We'll be right back. 

[00:39:54] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:39:55] Denis: Yeah. All right, cool. 

[00:39:58] Mike: Yeah, there's, uh, there's definitely fears, you know. But I think a healthy amount of fear is not a bad thing, right? 

[00:40:07] Denis: Yeah. Well, I mean, it's natural- Or caution ... natural phenomenon for sure. 

[00:40:10] Mike: A little bit of caution is not a bad thing. 

[00:40:12] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:40:12] Eldar: I think it's essential.

[00:40:14] Mike: Yeah. Oh. 

[00:40:15] Eldar: In this 

[00:40:15] Mike: process. Yeah. Wow. Essentialty. Yeah. 

[00:40:18] Eldar: So tell us. I agree. Well, yeah, if you don't have like a fears or if, I mean, like if if, like- to, to me, like it's not even a fear. I would say it's like a, like I w- yeah, I wouldn't even call it a fear. It's a, it's, um I'll call it more like a respect.

[00:40:36] Oh, okay. Yes. Like, you respect particular things- That's a good- ... and you respect particular processes. So because you respect them, I think that, that you- You give the right attention to them. Yeah, yeah. You realize- Yeah ... the importance of the attention that has to be 

[00:40:48] paid. That's a very good point. I like that you used that word respect.

[00:40:50] Yeah. Yeah. I was looking for, like, were you gonna say preventative care? Like- No. 

[00:40:54] Yeah. 

[00:40:54] Katherine: That's your favorite term. Yeah. 

[00:40:55] Eldar: No, no, no. He chose the right word. 

[00:40:58] Yeah, no. Respect is what... He's right. '

[00:40:59] Cause, 'cause you're like- That's good, yeah ... respecting particular principles, particular ways of life. Yes. You know?

[00:41:03] And, 

[00:41:04] Katherine: and like, uh- The fundamentals ... 

[00:41:04] Eldar: that, that'll make you, um, think about them. 

[00:41:08] Yeah. You 

[00:41:08] know? 

[00:41:08] Yeah. You actually gonna take it seriously. You 

[00:41:10] value them, yeah. 

[00:41:11] Yeah. If you value them, you respect them, you, you cherish them, and you ought to take them seriously. Yeah. And if you don't, oh, you're gonna find out.

[00:41:19] Yeah. Right? 

[00:41:20] Yeah. Again, the people who disrespect them- 

[00:41:22] Yeah ... 

[00:41:22] who don't pay attention to things, then they get into, again, disrespectful scenarios- Yeah ... and, like, lines being crossed left and right. Yeah. And the... And just, like, either they walk all over somebody or somebody walks all over them. 

[00:41:34] Yeah. 

[00:41:35] You know, so Yeah.

[00:41:37] Are you excited? I thought he was talking to 

[00:41:40] Katherine: you. 

[00:41:40] Eldar: And then 

[00:41:41] Denis: I go like, "Well-" That was such a funny

[00:41:45] Katherine: response, 

[00:41:46] Eldar: reaction. 

[00:41:47] Denis: Yeah. Yeah. And Mike's, "Yeah, I'm excited. 100%." I'm, I'm excited, like- No, no, I'm, I'm not talking about- I came in at this... You know what I mean? Like- 

[00:41:52] Eldar: Yeah, no, I, I'm not saying 

[00:41:53] Denis: excited for Mike ... you see I, I w- That's what I'm talking 

[00:41:55] Eldar: about. No, for yourself. 

[00:41:59] Denis: Yes. 

[00:42:00] Eldar: All right. Good. 

[00:42:01] Denis: Why? What are you... Oh, all right, elaborate.

[00:42:03] Eldar: He just 

[00:42:04] Denis: given you the- What about this? He just gave you the path. Of what? Of a good life. Oh, okay. Yes. Thank you, T. I'm excited. 

[00:42:10] Eldar: We're, we're, we're nowhere near near there. 

[00:42:12] Denis: You're no- okay, fine. 

[00:42:13] Eldar: Nowhere. Yeah. Like- 

[00:42:14] Denis: Damn straight ... 

[00:42:15] Eldar: why you gotta say that? Sorry, go ahead. 

[00:42:17] Denis: Nowhere near? Damn, man. 

[00:42:19] Eldar: No, I'm saying we're nowhere near.

[00:42:20] Like, we we don't, like, uh, like- We have to catch up with the fire, fire- Yeah, like- ... 

[00:42:23] Denis: the jokes. 

[00:42:24] Eldar: He's still processing ... well, well, no, I'm saying that, like, no not at the jokes. Like we don't speak the same language. 

[00:42:28] Yeah. 

[00:42:28] You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. 

[00:42:30] Yo, I invited you to go get pizza with me.

[00:42:32] Well, but, you know, babe, maybe we'll start, you know? 

[00:42:35] You're, you're the flyer, FYI. 

[00:42:35] You realize I am the flyer. I know. What do you mean? 

[00:42:37] We need to tune him in a little bit, right? 

[00:42:40] Yeah. Yeah, but yeah. Well- He's a little bit rough, no? No, I know, but you have to also... Like, the other person has to have a desire to be tuned in.

[00:42:49] No, I don't... But he does have the desire. That's why he came back. Mm. 

[00:42:51] Katherine: That's why he came back. Yeah. 

[00:42:53] Eldar: Be nice, man. 

[00:42:54] Katherine: Baby, he 

[00:42:55] Eldar: wants to 

[00:42:56] be tumbled. 

[00:42:57] Katherine: All right. He wants to be tumbled? Yeah. He wanna be 

[00:42:57] Denis: tumbled. No, 

[00:42:57] Eldar: I'm not tumbled. 

[00:42:58] Denis: Yes. I was tr- can we, can you redirect the question to what I thought it was gonna be? I'm excited for him, bro.

[00:43:04] Eldar: Okay, go ahead. Yeah. 

[00:43:05] Denis: Yeah, man. That's a great thing, you know? I think- Yeah ... that's why, you know, uh, me and you had that dream, 'cause we knew one of our homies is about to go on the adventure of a lifetime, bro. You know? 

[00:43:15] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:43:16] Denis: Little does he know what it all entails. 

[00:43:18] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:43:18] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:43:19] Eldar: Oh, so look, he wants to give you some heads up.

[00:43:21] Yeah. 

[00:43:21] Denis: No, no, no. That's good. No, not like... It's, 

[00:43:23] Eldar: I'm still- You said little does he know. Yeah, like, yeah. Little does he know. Little do you know, like clearly you know a lot. Yeah. 

[00:43:28] Denis: Sh- I mean, I mean- Look, look, he's going far with this shit ... six, six and a half years, you, you go through a couple fucking He's clipped me.

[00:43:35] You create wars, you know? 

[00:43:36] Eldar: Go through a couple clips. Yeah. 

[00:43:38] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:43:38] Eldar: You dropped off a couple clip, flips, clips. 

[00:43:40] Denis: But no, but that's what I mean. That's why I'

[00:43:44] You know, to see what happens for sure, yeah. Because he's- Mm. I'm more excited, not so much about that, I'm excited 'cause it's been so, it's been, like, so long in the making. You know what I mean? Like- 

[00:43:54] I left and he was still in the, in the body shop, you know- Mm ... getting the fucking dents out, you know what I mean?

[00:43:59] And I was saying, "Yo, Mish, how are you?" But yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, "It's all right. We'll fix the tire on the lake," I think. Yeah, 

[00:44:05] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:44:06] Denis: But his mechanic said, you know- 

[00:44:08] Eldar: Yeah, it's all down ... "

[00:44:09] Denis: Keep buffing it out." Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. And I said, "Listen, I can't wait for this," you know what I mean?

[00:44:13] Keep buffing that out. Because I'm gonna be right back in a couple years. The- And why I'm excited is I show back up- Yeah ... to the body shop- 

[00:44:19] Mike: Yeah ... 

[00:44:20] Denis: and the car is ready to go. 

[00:44:21] Mike: Oh, shit. Yeah. So- Yeah, I think I, I understood that, that moment what you just described- Yeah ... I understood what's gonna be required of me to get into something that's gonna be good.

[00:44:30] Not just- Yeah ... coming in there with, uh, broken rims and tires and everything all broken myself. That's it. And I was like- Yeah. And the truth is, you can't lie to yourself. And I was telling all of this, like, uh, earlier on the walk, like, you may get hyped up for a second, you may look at your car, right, from one side and be like, "Damn, this shit looks fresh."

[00:44:46] But then when you go look at the other side, you're like, "This shit is fucked up." Yeah. 'Cause the other side is completely beat up, you know? The, the different light. Yeah, 

[00:44:50] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:44:51] Mike: From the front, you looks like your shit looks good, but then you go in the back, you got a fucking big-ass accident. That's when, 

[00:44:55] Eldar: that's when the girls or the guys say, "Take the picture from this profile," right?

[00:44:58] Only like this. Yeah. I like my left side better than my right. Yeah. You know? 

[00:45:01] Mike: Exactly. Okay. So yeah, and the times I did try to, like, give it a crack, I was not there 'cause I internally maybe didn't wanna admit to myself or didn't understand that I wasn't there. But when I f- like, when everything, I guess, the culmination of all the events that happened in the past few years, like, it, it, uh, it unraveled, and the realization hit me with that reflection, with the climbing, with some other things I was like, "Oh, I don't feel like this anymore."

[00:45:33] That feeling of not being ready or not being sure, it didn't, it do- it didn't exist anymore. I was- Yeah ... like, uh, I was ready to go. I was ready to act. 

[00:45:43] Denis: Yeah. No, for sure. You know? And listen, um, it's... I think you, you got a lot to give, you know what I mean? And that, that's why I'm happy is that, you know- What do you, what does he got to give?

[00:45:52] I'll, I'll put it like this. I've experienced some different things. I was actually watching a, a show last night, and it made me think about, like, my return also. You, the, like-

[00:46:08] L- like you have amazing friendships, right? Uh and I think that's a topic in itself, 'cause I've been kind of... Now that I've been back, I almost like sometimes like... Anyways, whatever. It's, that's another thing. Come on, 

[00:46:17] Eldar: give us a full thought. Yeah, 

[00:46:18] like 

[00:46:18] Denis: finish that thought. Uh, 

[00:46:19] Katherine: yeah, 

[00:46:19] Denis: it 

[00:46:19] Katherine: has to do with... But like, 

[00:46:20] Denis: o- I, when,

[00:46:24] when I, I had that void of you guys. Being like kind of like a pussy. Why is your voice cracking, man? Hang on. What's going on with you? You guys, you 

[00:46:31] Eldar: can, you can say it like this, you can say it a bit like this. What I had the void of us. 

[00:46:34] Denis: I, like I had it- it's interesting. I don't know how to phrase it, but like, like for example, I, I had f- m- many, many years I've had love, a great relationship, someone that, that, that loves me unconditionally, like anything you could ask for.

[00:46:48] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:46:48] Denis: Uh, we built a family. I got all of my other things. I got a, I got a career, whatever. But that void that we talked about a couple episodes ago, that was always like- 

[00:46:58] Eldar: Gnawing at you ... 

[00:46:59] Denis: it it was a piece- Not knowing at you ... right? Because I could always look at the other pieces and they were like, there's nothing...

[00:47:04] I I'm blessed. Yeah. I'm blessed in a lot of ways. That's why I remember when I said, I was like, "I, it's been a good ride," but like something was missing, you know? Yeah. And with this, it's interesting where it's like- He had what I was missing the whole time. And now actually me coming back, I can actually see the value.

[00:47:21] Like it hit me last night. I was watching some random shit, and it's like, wow, like these guy- it was like a show where these guys are just, like, doing whatever, just like- 

[00:47:29] Eldar: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:47:29] Denis: like it was, it was like a show where they w- they were trying to go meet some other people and then, like, the shit didn't work out, and then they're like, "You wanna just hang out at the shop or whatever?"

[00:47:38] And they're just like, it's showing that, like they just came back together, and it's just like a s- regular night. But I was watching, I'm like, wow, these, these motherfuckers don't understand. Like that's the gold. You know what I mean? Like- 

[00:47:50] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[00:47:50] Denis: that regular night is just, like, just some BS-ing. I was like, wow, I used to look at that and be like, "Oh, this-" Wasting time

[00:47:56] "is a waste of time, bro." Yeah. Like, you bring like Serge, all these cats over. Yeah. Just sitting around listening to- Yeah ... like, them, like, gnawing my brain, you know? And then like- Yeah ... I- like that was like how valuable it is. 'Cause we get used to shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, that's human- Yeah ... nature.

[00:48:09] Katherine: Yeah. You take it for 

[00:48:10] Denis: granted. And it's, you take it for granted. Like, when it's taken away- 

[00:48:13] Eldar: Toliy will tell you why you take it for granted ... 

[00:48:14] Denis: you really feel like, wow. You know? Like- 

[00:48:17] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:48:18] Denis: And then with this- I've always wanted to say something about his mustache ... you know, it's interesting to see, I, I think, I don't know why I bounced as I was talking too long.

[00:48:23] Eldar: He looks good. He has actually has like a, um, what's the name? Extender. 

[00:48:26] Denis: But it would be interesting to see- 

[00:48:28] What? What'd 

[00:48:29] Eldar: you say? He has an extender right now. 

[00:48:33] Denis: Like a walkie-talkie then. 

[00:48:34] Eldar: He's tuned in. 

[00:48:35] Denis: You know, when I even said, 'cause you guys also see him on the day to day, maybe you don't agree. Listen, it's my perspective.

[00:48:41] Mm-hmm. It's Asley's perspective too on him, is like when we saw him the first two days on a podcast and then at Toliy's house, To- Asley, without me saying to her, she had the same exact feeling. We're like, yeah, me, me and Mike were talking like, y- you know, like I feel like s- like I, like s- like he's like like he's down or something.

[00:49:01] Hmm. Like something is like missing, you know? 

[00:49:05] And I always felt that about him. 

[00:49:07] Katherine: He was different. 

[00:49:08] Denis: Mm-hmm. That's why I was trying to push him, like, "Yo, Toliy go do speed dating this time." Because like I knew he's got all these other things in his life which are also so important. 

[00:49:16] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:49:17] Denis: Now I've learned.

[00:49:18] But he n- I, like, you know, this dude wants love. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like he wants to give his love and enjoy that process and share it with someone. Like that was, i- in my opinion, the, you know, and whether he agrees or not, I don't know. Mm-hmm. Like, there was probably a hole it feels like, you know?

[00:49:36] Like a, a s- a part of that that he always wished to have filled, you know? And it's fascinating to see like that kinda coming together at least, you know Uh, s- so far kind of in this, in this new chapter, you know? Does that make sense? 

[00:49:51] Eldar: 100%. You know? And I think... Yeah, 100%. It does make sense. 

[00:49:55] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:49:56] Katherine: It's also interesting- Yeah.

[00:49:56] You- -to hear from- 

[00:49:57] Eldar: His 

[00:49:57] Katherine: perspective because he sees it ... from their perspective- Yeah, yeah ... because both Dennis and Asli haven't seen Mike in a long time. Correct. Right, 

[00:50:02] Denis: right. 

[00:50:02] Katherine: Ha- or, you know, we see him every day, so it's different. Yeah. 

[00:50:06] Denis: Right. You 

[00:50:06] Katherine: know? 

[00:50:06] Mike: So- Well, 

[00:50:06] Katherine: that's 

[00:50:06] Mike: why I think 

[00:50:07] Denis: it's important- She said it without me saying it.

[00:50:08] Yeah. But, but we all felt the same way about him. I don't know how I 

[00:50:10] Mike: missed it. What'd you guys... 

[00:50:12] Denis: Well, well, when, uh, you know, the first... I saw you on that podcast when I showed up, and then the next day at Toliy's house. You know, we were laughing about that I was like, "Yo, you, you, like you seem tired or whatever," and you guys laughed 'cause you're like, "Oh, he doesn't know him."

[00:50:24] Eldar: Mm-hmm. 

[00:50:24] Denis: But Asli said the same thing, and obviously she also, you can claim she doesn't know you, but like, we always just... We al- And we, she... I was like, "Why'd you say that?" And she confirmed to me what I'm feeling is like, there was always that feeling. I'm like, "Yeah it..." I'm like, "Yeah, baby, it's like the same thing" meaning like, I think what you're feeling is that like, like there's some kinda...

[00:50:43] Like, there was always, as far as I've known you for many, many years, there was like a little hole, like something, like that you wanted to fill that one piece. Mm-hmm. You know? It doesn't mean that like, this was like, you, the rest of your life was bad. Not in any capacity. But there's these different like buckets of our life and when you got one of those buckets empty, you feel it.

[00:51:04] You know what I mean? And even if the others are full, it almost like, like you're happy, but like- Yes ... you know? Like- Well- But it's nice to have 

[00:51:14] Katherine: it all ... Can, can I make a comment? 

[00:51:15] Eldar: Yeah. No, yeah. 

[00:51:16] Katherine: Yeah. As, as you- 

[00:51:16] Eldar: It's nice to have it all. No, no, no, it's a ve- Maybe I'm, maybe I'm mis- 

[00:51:19] Katherine: No, 

[00:51:19] Eldar: he's 

[00:51:19] Katherine: right ... No, no, 

[00:51:19] Eldar: no. He's, no, no, no.

[00:51:20] Maybe I'm wrong. It's not only nice 

[00:51:21] Katherine: to have 

[00:51:21] Eldar: it 

[00:51:21] Katherine: all- Why wouldn't you want to have it 

[00:51:22] Eldar: all? ... 

[00:51:23] Katherine: it is the goal. Yeah. Who doesn't wanna have it all? Of course. That's 

[00:51:25] Eldar: the goal. 

[00:51:25] Denis: Right. 

[00:51:26] Eldar: Yeah. You're supposed to... I think you're supposed to strive towards having it all. 

[00:51:29] Katherine: Yeah. 

[00:51:30] Eldar: I agree with him. 

[00:51:30] Katherine: Yeah. Before we move on, like, on- Yeah

[00:51:32] the topic, I, I asked Eldar recently, you know, you came back and I th- You know what? At this point we've seen you a few times already, and I thought to myself, I asked him, I said, "Do you think Dennis is kicking himself in the butt for-" For being away this long and now coming back in and realizing, like, "Oh, shoot," like, "I chose to be away from this."

[00:51:56] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:51:56] Katherine: You know what I mean? 

[00:51:58] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:51:58] Katherine: It- 

[00:51:58] Denis: Yeah, yeah. No, well, I wouldn't say I'm kicking myself in the butt because I, I'm raising a toddler, so you don't really get- ... a chance to reflect too much. She's 

[00:52:06] Katherine: kicking your butt. 

[00:52:07] Denis: Yeah. But she's kicking my butt. But no, in a way, for sure, n- I, I don't regret it, 'cause like I said, I had to go on my journey, but I'm definitely...

[00:52:14] Last night I was watching the show, and you really, in a positive way, I've had a couple of those moments. I don't remember the other times, but yesterday was like, just watching that scene of a couple guys that, like, they would look like losers to you. You know, just kinda, like, hanging out. They clearly wanted to be out partying, and they're just, like, stuck together.

[00:52:30] But, like, I'm looking at them like, "Wow," like, "that's gold." You know? Like that's it. There's... They're thinking that there's something else out there. Like, no, that's it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It... I don't know. I know you know what I mean. I 

[00:52:41] Eldar: know 

[00:52:42] Katherine: what you mean. You know? But- The grass is always greener.

[00:52:42] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I 

[00:52:42] Eldar: thi- yeah, I think that his- But yeah ... comment about the fact that, like, it's nice to have it all, it just shows the makeup of us as humans. Mm. That we're not just some simple, like, "Oh, I gotta get a career, and I'm gonna be, have this safety." No, the hierarchy of needs clearly, you know, there's a hierarchy of needs for a reason, why we need friendships, we need love.

[00:53:01] That's the whole part of what makes us to- 

[00:53:04] Katherine: All-encompassing, 

[00:53:05] Eldar: things like this ... potentially, uh, to actualize. Yeah. 

[00:53:07] Katherine: Mm-hmm. 

[00:53:07] Eldar: And without that, I think there is some of that bucket that feels empty. Right, right. You know what I mean? And that one was a big one for you. This one's a big one for Mike. Right, which, yeah- I think, I think your bucket is, you know, fear, right? It's a big one. Anxiety, not being able to... You still have that not filled because you're still not exploring the world the way you should be, you know, the way you want to be. Toliy knows his stuff, you know? So, like, as you go through that, of course you, you rather collect all the gems- 

[00:53:35] Mm-hmm

[00:53:35] and, and live with them because they're they what make us us, you know? Right now we're socializing with friends. That's part of who we are. This feels nice. Then sometimes we want alone time and read a book or whatever. If that's part of you, great. I need to garden by myself sometimes, you know? I don't need you guys there.

[00:53:52] I need that for myself. That's what makes me as well, you know? So I think al- if you identify all those variables that are good for you you, you hope to collect them all in order to have a good, fulfilling life. And I think, uh, the biggest one, uh, the biggest, one of the biggest rewards, one of the biggest buckets I think is love.

[00:54:09] Denis: Is love, 

[00:54:09] Eldar: yeah. 

[00:54:10] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:54:10] Eldar: Yeah. You know? That's why Dennis has felt the way he felt maybe about you. Uh, okay, maybe that's one bucket that's missing, obviously. Oh, yeah. 

[00:54:16] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:54:16] Eldar: Because you always talked about it. 

[00:54:18] Mike: Always talked 

[00:54:18] Denis: about 

[00:54:18] Mike: it. Did 

[00:54:18] Denis: you 

[00:54:18] Mike: feel that 

[00:54:19] Denis: way? Like- 

[00:54:19] Mike: Of course, bro ... 

[00:54:20] Denis: like, there was so- right? Like, yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:21] Mike: I al- when I, like, uh, had, had the thing with Anya, you know, I would never experience like that I never experienced that with anybody else. Obviously, it started off nice, and we all know how it ended, but there was those moments where it was real, and those moments felt, like, unbelievable. And I always wanted to come back to that because I under- I felt how good it is.

[00:54:50] And um, without it, I could-- I didn't wanna, like- live without it, but I didn't know what needed to be done or what was required in order to get to a place where I can have that. 

[00:55:02] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:55:03] Mike: You know? I always like, um, 

[00:55:05] Denis: to some degree it was probably the biggest motivator for self-development. 

[00:55:08] Mike: Yeah. It was, yeah.

[00:55:10] Denis: So with those, with the, uh, the relationships that proceeded after that- 

[00:55:14] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[00:55:15] Denis: they were never quite the same, right? 

[00:55:18] Mike: Um- 

[00:55:18] Denis: Feeling. 

[00:55:19] Mike: No, I think with Ira was really good, you know? 

[00:55:23] Denis: So close. 

[00:55:25] Mike: Yeah. It was, it was more, maybe even better than Anya, yeah. 

[00:55:29] Denis: Better, okay. 

[00:55:29] Mike: Yeah, but it was very short. I think it 

[00:55:30] Eldar: was. It was short.

[00:55:31] Mike: It was short. 

[00:55:32] Eldar: But it was popping. 

[00:55:33] Mike: It was popping, yeah. Mm. It was crazy good, yeah. 

[00:55:35] Eldar: Yeah, I remember you- 

[00:55:36] Mike: Yeah, she was more of like, Anya was closed and complicated. 

[00:55:41] Eldar: Anya was also the first. 

[00:55:42] Mike: The first, yeah. Yeah. Like, 

[00:55:44] Eldar: you know what I'm saying? 

[00:55:44] Mike: She was the first, and Ira she was, like, much more of, like, a free soul, free spirit.

[00:55:49] She didn't have all this, like, trauma and, like, you know, being married, having a kid. She didn't have all that. 

[00:55:54] Eldar: The usual baggage you like. 

[00:55:56] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:55:58] Denis: No, for sure. That's 

[00:55:59] Mike: it. The baggage that you like to sift through. 

[00:56:00] Denis: You sit and then y- well, well, you know the couple of, like, I'm thinking about also in the couple years, like, the different friendships or different moments that I did try to cultivate, it was like, such a, "What am I doing?"

[00:56:14] Right? 

[00:56:16] Eldar: It was wax sauce. 

[00:56:17] Denis: It was like, "Come on, bro. Like, I'd rather be alone." 

[00:56:19] Eldar: And, uh, yeah, and I was- 

[00:56:20] Denis: I'm, I'm good on my own ... I was pretty- The other factors ... listen, I 

[00:56:23] Eldar: was pretty convinced that, like, you would not be able to be the Dennis that we know, the Dennis- No, but you gotta understand- ... with those fucking weirdos, 

[00:56:29] Denis: you know?

[00:56:29] Oh, yeah. No. Yeah, no. It was like uh, Ashley would put a neck, one, uh, we got a, one, I'll switch out. Ashley has to come, you know? She'll- Yeah ... she'll come with that angle. Yeah. And she'll say, like, yeah, he's like, it was like he, he was like, a part of him was dead. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. Yeah. But I'm also, it's tricky because I'm also very good on my own.

[00:56:45] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:56:45] Denis: Like, I've always, as you called me, always a loner, so like- Yeah ... I would, I use that to my advantage in this chapter. 

[00:56:51] Eldar: However, a lot of times, a lot of times- 

[00:56:53] Katherine: But even loners need, need this. 

[00:56:54] Eldar: No. Yeah. Yeah, but a lot of times that side of him was battling the other side- Mm-hmm. Yeah ... to justify, say like, "Nah, I don't need nobody."

[00:57:01] Katherine: Yeah, yeah. Exactly, to just- 

[00:57:02] Eldar: yeah. Mm-hmm. He did not regard or what Toliy said earlier, he did not respect that part as being the important part of- 

[00:57:10] Denis: No ... 

[00:57:10] Eldar: his, his dynamic. 

[00:57:11] Denis: No, no, 

[00:57:11] Eldar: no. And now he seems like he ha- he's doing it now. 

[00:57:14] Denis: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then a couple, you know, you sit with a couple- 

[00:57:20] Katherine: He put 

[00:57:20] Denis: on his-

[00:57:20] vascas. Yeah. He, 

[00:57:21] Katherine: he, he put on his friend hat. 

[00:57:23] Denis: Who is this alien? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like- And then you're like, "Damn," you know? Like, "Maybe I did have it good." You know what I mean? Maybe, maybe I am down to listen to the Toliy fucking, you know- Rant ... rip me apart, you 

[00:57:33] Katherine: know? Tell you about 

[00:57:34] Eldar: respect. Maybe I'm down, 

[00:57:36] Denis: yeah.

[00:57:36] Yeah. No, it's interesting for sure, yeah. But, uh, but yeah. No, but that, that whole, I always felt, I always felt- Of course ... with, you know what I mean? And it was always like, I almost felt like, not bad, like, like- Like, I just wanted you to... You deserve, everyone deserves it. You know what I mean? Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa 

[00:57:52] Eldar: Whoa, 

[00:57:52] Denis: whoa, 

[00:57:53] Eldar: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.

[00:57:54] And 

[00:57:54] Denis: here we go. Uh-oh. 

[00:57:55] Eldar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, you can't 

[00:57:56] Denis: use that word. So I'm gonna 

[00:57:58] Eldar: go put some 

[00:57:59] Denis: hot water in here- All right ... and you put some hot water in this fucking 

[00:58:00] Eldar: mic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. 

[00:58:00] Denis: Okay. Okay. All right. 

[00:58:02] Katherine: Corazon. 

[00:58:02] Denis: Everybody 

[00:58:02] Katherine: deserves it. Can I get some too, please? Yeah. I just had- 

[00:58:06] Denis: It's a basic human right, Eldar.

[00:58:09] All right? I 

[00:58:09] Eldar: wish- Like hot water ... that's what I 

[00:58:10] Denis: wanted. 

[00:58:10] Eldar: I wish 

[00:58:11] Denis: that 

[00:58:11] Eldar: the government- That deserve love ... would say, "You know what guys? Basic human right, everybody gets love." 

[00:58:15] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:58:16] Eldar: And everybody got it. 

[00:58:17] Denis: Yeah. That's not 

[00:58:18] Eldar: the case. They can do it with healthcare. No. They can do 

[00:58:20] Denis: it with- They're gonna own me right now, right?

[00:58:21] Yeah. On that one. No, 

[00:58:22] Eldar: come on. That's 

[00:58:23] Denis: a violation. Yeah, definitely. It's a violation. That word deserve 

[00:58:25] Mike: is banned. 

[00:58:25] Denis: Yeah. 

[00:58:26] Katherine: Oh, Eldar really doesn't like that word. It's banned. 

[00:58:28] Mike: Yeah, we hate that 

[00:58:28] Denis: word. Here we go. It's gonna... I already know what you're gonna be like, "Oh, not everyone's worthy of it." No. 

[00:58:34] Mike: That's true. No, not even that.

[00:58:35] Denis: Yeah. Yeah. But, but w- honestly, I, you know, I'll let, I'll let them tackle that one. But yeah, uh, and the outside looking in it was always like, even h- honestly back then, it was always like, yeah, like I hope he... Not from like a... It wasn't like a desperate pl- it was just a genuine place of like, when someone really, like, wants that in their life.

[00:58:57] Mm-hmm. 'Cause not everyone wants that. 

[00:58:59] Mike: Yeah. 

[00:58:59] Denis: Right? Yeah. Not everyone's, like, walking around like, "Yeah, I wanna fall." You know, people say they want a relationship, or they say they wanna just have fun or whatever, you know? Mm-hmm. Like you genuinely, you know what I mean, you subscribe to that from like day one.

[00:59:12] Yeah. Mm-hmm. You took some crazy routes sometimes- I definitely did, yeah ... but like you subscribed to it, you know? 

[00:59:16] Mike: Well, I had a lot of psychological or, you know- Deficiencies ... deficiencies. I was a total nut. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. I had a lot of things that I get through to get through to be like a whole, whole person, a healthy person, you know?

[00:59:31] Eldar: Yeah. 

[00:59:31] Mike: Ph- not just physically, but mentally healthy in order to engage in something that, like this. 

[00:59:37] Eldar: Mm-hmm. So as the person I was before who's, with the deficiencies, did that person deserve l- love, like you 

[00:59:43] Mike: said? No, he didn't. He didn't. He didn't. Ha, n- he can't deserve something that you... From somebody else, especially when you don't have it from yourself.

[00:59:51] Eldar: Yeah. It's not- And that's why those things fell, fell short- 

[00:59:54] Mike: Of course ... 

[00:59:55] Eldar: at the end of the day, right? And you fell short after that. Yeah. Right? Where in this relationship, you even said it yourself, I mean, the phone call that we had two days ago. Mm-hmm. You were a lot more empowered. You said, "Look, Eldar, like, I put my chips on the table.

[01:00:06] I open my heart now." I'm very vulnerable." and I'm okay with that. Like, whatever happens here happens. If it takes, she takes it, great. If she doesn't, great." Yeah. "It doesn't matter." 

[01:00:16] Mike: Yeah. "

[01:00:16] Eldar: Because I know who I am now, and I'm gonna lead with that because I subscribe to myself." 

[01:00:21] Mike: Yeah. A- 

[01:00:21] Eldar: That's why Dennis was wrong for many, many years about saying to leave the philosophy bubble.

[01:00:29] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:00:29] Eldar: You can never leave the philosophy bubble. Yeah. You can only invite others in. 

[01:00:32] Mike: Mm-hmm. Oh. That might be a new T-shirt, D, so. I, I, 

[01:00:36] Denis: yes. There we go. So 

[01:00:36] Mike: that might be, that might be your T-shirt. 

[01:00:38] Denis: I got some pushback on some but y- I like the line, for sure. Yeah. 

[01:00:42] Mike: Yeah. I mean- 

[01:00:43] Eldar: Yeah ... if they're lucky- 

[01:00:44] Mike: Yeah ... 

[01:00:45] Eldar: you know, they'll hop in.

[01:00:46] If they're not, then, how about this? H- how about a asterisk or whatever it is? Yeah, go ahead. My version of that would be, and I respect that, respect your version. And my version would be, yes, don't do what Dennis thought was just leave it forever Come back as often as possible, but my asterisk would be go out in the world as often as possible.

[01:01:10] Denis: Always return, but go and do and act. And, like, what he's doing and just, like, even just that mentality, what they're saying, what he's saying is, like, even if it doesn't, like, work out, like I know who I am and I'm bringing my energy. Like, like, that's living too. You know what I mean? 

[01:01:25] Eldar: Yeah, but... Yeah, but I don't think that's like- But I think both are 

[01:01:26] Denis: needed

[01:01:26] Eldar: Yeah, but I don't think that's- It's very important ... yeah, but I don't think that's, like, going anywhere to the world. Cause, like, going to the world is, like, I think implying that, like, you're going- There's a separation between 

[01:01:35] church and state ... 

[01:01:37] Y- yeah, but it's also, like, you're going into someone else's, like territory with someone else's rules- Yeah

[01:01:42] versus, 

[01:01:43] like, 

[01:01:43] bringing- No ... your 

[01:01:44] rules to wherever you wanna go. 

[01:01:45] Yeah. You know? 

[01:01:46] Denis: Yeah. No, but that's not what I'm saying. 

[01:01:47] Eldar: But I know what he means. Listen, give him, give him- 

[01:01:50] Denis: Action- ... I got it for sure ... action and and thinking are both needed. 

[01:01:54] Eldar: For sure. I think that you, uh, maybe if I say it like this you'll understand that we actually subscribe to that more than you subscribe to it.

[01:02:02] Denis: Well, sure. I mean, 

[01:02:03] Eldar: you know. If you think- 

[01:02:04] Denis: Yeah ... 

[01:02:04] Eldar: if you choose to think, actually, right, and you finally know what you're thinking about and how you wanna behave, you're gonna come up with the coolest, the funnest way to go engage with the world, and you're gonna have the most amount of fun. Therefore, the whole goal is to go out into the world.

[01:02:20] Denis: No, I, I get what the goal is. 

[01:02:22] Eldar: The goal is always to go, you know. Yeah. You can, yeah, sure, you can go for practice if you need to- 

[01:02:26] Denis: Yeah ... 

[01:02:27] Eldar: sometimes, but the whole goal is to go out there and fuck shit up- 

[01:02:30] Denis: No, 

[01:02:30] Eldar: for sure ... at the end of it. 

[01:02:31] Denis: For 

[01:02:31] Eldar: sure. That's what Toliy says. It's a, it's a marriage between the two.

[01:02:34] There's no separation there. 

[01:02:35] Denis: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. All right. 

[01:02:39] Eldar: So are you happy for him? 

[01:02:42] Denis: Yeah, I- I- I think I answered that about six times. Yeah. Yes, I am very happy for him. Do you 

[01:02:46] Eldar: respect his vow? 

[01:02:48] Denis: Yeah. Yes. What is your vow exactly? Just, like, to himself. Vow to himself. That whole thing? Yeah. 

[01:02:54] Mike: Well, yeah. 

[01:02:56] Denis: Yeah.

[01:02:57] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:02:57] Denis: Yeah, no, for sure, yeah, and I think that's important 

[01:02:59] Mike: to- I, yeah, the vow is- ... to still do the 

[01:03:01] Denis: rock 

[01:03:01] Mike: climbing, to still- ... is to realize the importance of living an examined life- Yes ... and try to stick to that as much as possible and not s- steer away from that, because I- Well, 

[01:03:10] Denis: I, I, I foresee a challenge that he will have.

[01:03:12] Oh, yes. I don't know if I wanna say it. 

[01:03:14] Mike: Yes. Say it. Be- T- Toliy's 

[01:03:16] Eldar: thinking it. You s- just say it. 

[01:03:17] Denis: I don't know if I- Just say it ... I don't wanna say it because, like, you know... I don't know. It's- It's not, like, a bad thing, but, like, I don't know. He doesn't wanna dampen the mood? 

[01:03:25] Eldar: I don't know. 

[01:03:25] Denis: It's not, like, a bad th- it's like...

[01:03:27] Should I say it? 

[01:03:28] Eldar: I think 

[01:03:28] Denis: so. 

[01:03:29] Eldar: I think you should say it. 

[01:03:31] Denis: No, like, Yeah. 

[01:03:33] Ah. 

[01:03:36] Eldar: This one's spicy, right? Yeah. 

[01:03:37] Katherine: That was funny. Yeah. That was a funny reaction. 

[01:03:40] Denis: Okay. 

[01:03:40] Eldar: He's gonna say, "Misha, you know I love you, right?" Yeah. You know I'm your brother, right? You know. You know it's not hate, it's just love. When 

[01:03:46] Denis: I say it you're gonna be like, "That's it?"

[01:03:48] But, like, it, there is, like- Historically- 

[01:03:51] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:03:52] Denis: women- 

[01:03:53] Eldar: Yes, yes Ha- Status and money and- No, no, no, no, no ... living arrangements and- 

[01:03:57] Denis: No ... 

[01:03:57] Eldar: the horns. No. The Jew maxing horns. 

[01:04:00] Denis: The Jew

[01:04:04] Katherine: maxing horns. I'm 

[01:04:04] Denis: gonna get us canceled. This is cra- no, uh- 

[01:04:08] Eldar: The only person in the 

[01:04:09] Denis: room 

[01:04:09] Eldar: worried 

[01:04:09] Denis: about the cancer The one thing that I, that I, wh- was the topic here that I made fun of you guys for, right? That I didn't honor as much as you did- Mm-hmm ... right, or, or appreciate, is also very, to the outside world, can seem like, uh, misunderstood.

[01:04:23] What I'm saying is that, like, you don't have a regular friendship. 

[01:04:26] Eldar: Oh. 

[01:04:26] Denis: Mm-hmm. I know you can be like, "Well, duh, we're the fucking, we're the..." 

[01:04:29] Eldar: Shit, 

[01:04:29] Denis: you can do the Nate Diaz 

[01:04:30] Eldar: on me right now. What's the- what's the D Block? 

[01:04:34] Denis: Yeah. What's the song? Mighty, mighty- 

[01:04:37] Eldar: Everywhere we 

[01:04:38] Denis: go. Mighty, mighty D. Yeah, everywhere we go.

[01:04:38] You think, you might actually, ironically, since I'm outside and all this stuff we're talking about, you might think this is normal, but to the most of the world, right? Mm-hmm. They don't operate in friendships like this. Yeah. Meaning, like, the, the, especially the volume, right? 

[01:04:52] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:04:52] Denis: Like, you guys work together, hang out toget- everything, right?

[01:04:56] Yeah. And so, like, I'm, you know- 

[01:04:58] Mike: Yeah ... 

[01:04:59] Denis: I'm hoping you'll be able to also- Yeah ... that mu- you know, bridge, as you're saying, kind of hold it all of your identities together- Yeah ... and be true to yourself. Mm-hmm. Because sometimes people go into relationships, and I've seen it many times. 

[01:05:11] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:05:11] Denis: And, like, you kind of, like, the person gets lost in- 

[01:05:15] Mike: Of course

[01:05:16] Denis: 'cause that pers- they wanna, they wanna keep that person, but that person don't understand certain elements of- Mm-hmm ... what's, what's important to you. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? 

[01:05:23] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:05:24] Denis: And it might, they might completely misunderstand you. Well, no. At moments. 

[01:05:27] Eldar: No, 

[01:05:28] Denis: no. You know? You know what I'm saying? 

[01:05:29] Eldar: This, no.

[01:05:29] This is a cult, bro. Yeah. Yeah. And you gotta take a fart from, f- to the face from the prophet. You

[01:05:39] Denis: know what I'm saying? In order to get initiated. Yeah. What? You know he's gonna fucking play it for her. He's like, he's gonna- Of course ... this is the kind of shit that I'm talking about. You know what 

[01:05:45] Mike: I mean? Yeah. Listen- Constant misunderstanding you ... I, I think you have a very good point. Yeah. And, 

[01:05:48] Denis: and, and 

[01:05:48] Mike: I, I do.

[01:05:48] You know what 

[01:05:49] Katherine: I'm saying? 

[01:05:49] Mike: I think you're making a very strong point. And, and, and 

[01:05:50] Denis: then it's- It's a good point, no? 

[01:05:51] Mike: It's a very good point. Yeah, but the, but the truth of the 

[01:05:52] Denis: matter is- It's a, it's a, it's a tough one, you know? It, it's a mute point. As a cat, I know cats struggle with that, right, in the beginning.

[01:05:58] It's a, it's a mute point. You did, yeah. Right? What did he say? It's a mute point? It's a moo point. It's a moo point. You got a, you got a bunch of goblins coming in. I did. I did, yeah. "Yo, E, yo, E, yo can we talk? You're, you're in the house." Yeah. Like, a bunch of cats come in in your kitchen and stuff, you know 

[01:06:07] Eldar: what I mean?

[01:06:07] Bro, do you 

[01:06:07] Denis: understand- Eating your fucking pasta ... 

[01:06:10] Eldar: Nate, do you understand that, that- 

[01:06:11] Denis: Nate's complaining. Yo, shout out to Nate, bro ... sure, bro. You know, don't worry, bro. Me and you, we were out there in the interwebs together for three years, bro. We the- Fucking shit. Everything's Nate this, Nate that. I want that.

[01:06:20] We, we in the same team, me and Nate. You know what I mean? Like- I can't help it, man. It's Nate's influence ... it's a lot, cat. You love him. Fuck you, E. I do, yeah. But you love those guys, let's say, some of them. But- Yeah ... you know, it's like, blyat, you know? No, it took, it took- Sometimes you kinda 

[01:06:28] Katherine: like- it took me a while to- Yeah

[01:06:31] to, you know, like, get- Probably still getting used to it. Get used to it. I'm used to it now. Yeah. But, um, yeah. And it was very different from my friendships or my lifestyle or how I lived. Right. Most people are not living 

[01:06:42] Denis: like that. 

[01:06:43] Katherine: So, you know, it, 

[01:06:43] Eldar: yeah. No, no. It was an instant. And this is where I'm gonna bring in a very important ingredient to the soup that you guys are trying to cook up over here.

[01:06:49] Yeah. 

[01:06:50] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[01:06:51] Eldar: Love requires, I think, requires acceptance Okay. 

[01:07:01] Katherine: Mm-hmm. Massively. 

[01:07:03] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:07:03] Katherine: Yeah. 

[01:07:04] Eldar: Mm-hmm. From both sides. 

[01:07:05] Katherine: From both sides. 

[01:07:06] Yeah. 

[01:07:06] Eldar: From both sides. And I think that the- 

[01:07:07] Katherine: Absolutely ... 

[01:07:08] Eldar: the biggest opportunity in love, especially when you are part of it, is for you to display this acceptance towards your partner.

[01:07:16] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:07:16] Eldar: This is, uh the clearest indication that I think that you are in love and you love the other individual unconditionally by being accepting of them. 

[01:07:26] Okay? So the way obviously you might use the word, "Oh, Catherine, you had to accept this," right? 

[01:07:34] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[01:07:34] Eldar: Is different than the way I would probably use that, "Well, she had a choice, but- Mm-hmm

[01:07:39] the choice is clear that she loves me- Yeah ... she cares for me- Mm-hmm ... and she obviously..." Elder is, like you said before, right, Elder's the package- 

[01:07:45] Denis: Mm-hmm ... 

[01:07:46] Eldar: kinda between all his numbnuts friends, including you now, right? 

[01:07:50] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:07:51] Eldar: And obviously the transition sometimes is a bumpy one, but if the center of gravity is always love, which is, has acceptance in it- 

[01:07:59] Denis: Yeah

[01:08:00] Eldar: if you don't operate out of love, then- Here's 

[01:08:01] Denis: a 

[01:08:01] Eldar: question ... what are you operating out of? 

[01:08:03] Denis: Would you say, I don't know, your memory's bad, but maybe you remember. Here's a good question: Did you educate your wife i- in that pr- in some of those moments, let's say when it was- Yeah ... kind of misunderstandings on her side of some of those parts?

[01:08:16] Or maybe just like, I don't know, like, did you, did you, did you, do you feel like- 

[01:08:21] Eldar: Well, you should ask her that. She's right there ... 

[01:08:22] Denis: there's like a, there's like, um, a responsibility to educate, you know what I mean? I, maybe educate's the wrong word. To kind of really explain like, "Hey, like, this is, this is, this is what this means to me," or, "This is why I'm doing it this way," you know?

[01:08:35] Like, or no? 

[01:08:36] Eldar: Uh, I don't think a lot of times I have to do that. 

[01:08:38] Denis: No, okay. 

[01:08:38] Katherine: No, I don't think he would explain it that deeply, but- 

[01:08:41] Denis: No ... 

[01:08:42] Katherine: You understand, like- That 

[01:08:46] Denis: rudely ... 

[01:08:46] Katherine: like, you maybe, maybe you don't explain it in that, that depth, but I'm under- I'm, I'm picking it up, you know? Yeah. Like, I'm, I'm understanding of it.

[01:08:55] I 

[01:08:55] Denis: wouldn't want to tell her that. Did you ever wish that he would, like, explain some things or no?

[01:09:03] Katherine: It's tough to say that because, uh, uh we've been together for a very long time, so there are a lot of conversations that maybe, you know, I don't remember- Okay ... how things happened. 

[01:09:13] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:09:14] Katherine: But no, I think, I think however things happened was the way that they had to happen yeah. 

[01:09:19] I don't know if that's the answer. But 

[01:09:20] Eldar: you agree, it's a that's a... I think that there's a lot of people not in love out there, yeah. 

[01:09:27] Mike: And I don't think a lot of people know the recipe for it. Yeah. And I think having this kind of stuff is part of the recipe. 

[01:09:33] Eldar: Ah, yeah, I don't think that people put enough time- You have to have it

[01:09:35] to think about this kind of stuff in order to make it right. 

[01:09:37] You know what? But, but it's also, like, a thing, the, this thing that that you're talking about, to me it's like a, uh, it's like a you, you don't need to explain to that person. I think it's a self-correcting- Correct ... thing because I know that one thing Elder's always good at if you wanna be, like, good or bad, he will allow you to do that.

[01:09:55] Mm-hmm. And then the way that you sit with yourself when you feel if you did wrong, for example- She sat, you know ... like that. Yeah, like that. 

[01:10:02] She sat in jail for three years. 

[01:10:03] Yeah. Yeah. She sat 

[01:10:05] in jail. 

[01:10:05] Yeah, like, like you sitting without, on your own, right? You know, like, I don't know, if Elder wants to do something and Kat, like, bans it or something, I'm guessing she's probably, if that, if that happened, I'm guessing she probably felt bad at some point.

[01:10:18] I can't, yeah. And then she has to self-reflect. 

[01:10:19] Katherine: Like, I can't ban it. 

[01:10:20] Eldar: Yeah, she has to self-reflect. You know? 

[01:10:21] Katherine: Even if I would want 

[01:10:22] Eldar: to. And then, like, pr- probably not feel good about it and that whole process is, like, a learning pro- process for yourself. It's, 

[01:10:29] it's a developmental 

[01:10:29] Katherine: process. You know what's funny?

[01:10:30] Eldar: Yeah, 

[01:10:31] yeah. 

[01:10:31] Yeah. 

[01:10:31] Katherine: Like- Yeah, it's important ... never have I told him, like, "You can't do this," or, "You can't do that," or, "You do..." You know, like, that's it. Never. 

[01:10:37] Eldar: And the times that- Let 

[01:10:38] Katherine: me tell 

[01:10:38] Eldar: you ... she tried to put up some kind of boundary- But- ... she always felt bad about it ... 

[01:10:40] Katherine: I did, and then there w- there was one time where I, I actually, and I told you this.

[01:10:45] I said, "It's not that I don't want you to go. I have a bad feeling about this." Remember I told you I had, like, a gut instinct? 

[01:10:50] Eldar: Yeah, yeah. 

[01:10:51] Katherine: When you guys went to, you guys drove to Philly or something? 

[01:10:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:10:54] Katherine: You came back with the bursitis. 

[01:10:56] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:10:56] Katherine: That one time I actually said, like- Yeah ... "Go, but- 

[01:10:59] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:10:59] Katherine: I can't explain it, but I have, like, this weird gut thing, you know?"

[01:11:02] Yeah. And I explained it. 

[01:11:04] Eldar: Burschetta, burschetta? You came back with burschetta on your ass. He got 

[01:11:05] Katherine: burschetta. 

[01:11:05] Eldar: Yeah. Bursit- I had cra- He had crazy bursitis ... 

[01:11:08] Katherine: I 

[01:11:09] Eldar: came back and I woke up in the middle of the night. We went to Atlantic City and back, so I drove, like, six hours that day or whatever it was. How many hours?

[01:11:15] I don't know. I came back, I fell asleep, and at, like, 4:00 in the morning I woke up with excruciating pain on my hip. Excruciating pain. We found out later it's bursitis, but it's like you, it, you get like a wooden leg. You can't move it. 

[01:11:27] Denis: Really? Wow. 

[01:11:28] Eldar: Like, it was crazy. Really? Wow. I, 

[01:11:29] Katherine: I ne- I had never seen him in that much pain at that point.

[01:11:32] Yeah. Wow. It 

[01:11:32] Eldar: was terrible. Yeah. I almost passed out once from pain. Yeah. I had to fall on the bed. 

[01:11:35] Katherine: He almost fell. Wow. 

[01:11:35] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:11:37] Denis: That's wild. 

[01:11:38] Katherine: Yeah. 

[01:11:38] Eldar: Next time I gotta listen to it, to try it out. Yeah. 

[01:11:44] Katherine: Listen to what? Intuition. Vince saying? Oh, the intuition thing? 

[01:11:46] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, well, yeah, Toliy's right. Uh, it's a self-correcting thing, and you cannot force something like that.

[01:11:52] Like, you can't fo- force that kind of choice. 

[01:11:55] Katherine: No. Um- And you feel bad when you enforce something like that, you know? 

[01:11:58] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah, because it's not, like, a loving way to act. It's not. Exactly. You know, and you feel that- Yeah ... if you're obviously like- Yeah ... you know. Yeah. A lot of times where she felt like, "Oh, I don't want you to go about whatever, whatever," but she saw that my happiness or my fun was on the line, she could never stand in front of that.

[01:12:13] Yeah, 

[01:12:13] Katherine: no. Yeah, 

[01:12:14] Eldar: yeah. She always promoted me. 

[01:12:15] Katherine: You can't. 

[01:12:15] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:12:16] Eldar: Because also, enough of acting in that kind of way, like if every time, which plenty of people in relationships are like, "No, you're not going anywhere tonight," or, "You're not doing this. You're not doing that," enough of that then, like, creates a particular, like, uh, behavior, obviously.

[01:12:30] Yeah, you resent 

[01:12:30] them, yeah. 

[01:12:31] Yeah. It creates resentment. Yeah. It creates anger, and then there's obviously no more, like, really now it's dead. 

[01:12:36] There you go. You know? So I think there's a very clear recipe of how you have to behave, what you have to think, how you position yourself with all these types of things- 

[01:12:43] Yeah

[01:12:44] in order to steer this thing in a place where you are deservant of love. 

[01:12:49] Because you are the maker of it. There's no other way around it, 'cause you create it, you made it, and now you maintain it. 

[01:12:58] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:12:59] Eldar: That's it. 

[01:13:01] Mike: That's it, man. 

[01:13:04] Eldar: The recipe? Yeah

[01:13:11] So are you happy for him? 

[01:13:13] Denis: Yeah, give peace, bro. Hmm? Yes yes. 

[01:13:17] Eldar: Don't worry. Long enough with us, we'll get you to the place where we left off. 

[01:13:23] Denis: I feel like w- are we already left off, no? 

[01:13:26] Eldar: No, I think that you... there's a little bit of digging, like, as James would say, uh- 

[01:13:30] Mike: You got laid back- James listening

[01:13:31] during high school, and we, like, graduated Yeah, we, uh, you have 

[01:13:32] Eldar: to peel a couple more layers. 

[01:13:35] Denis: Yeah, no, I don't feel that way at all, but yeah. 

[01:13:37] Mike: You're not supposed to. You have, like, a cap, you know? 

[01:13:39] Denis: A mental cap. You better wa- I, I, I've been nice to you today, bro. 

[01:13:45] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:13:46] Katherine: Yeah. 

[01:13:47] Eldar: I said you better watch out. You better watch out, yeah.

[01:13:47] Mike: We still talk a little shit, you know? Yeah. 

[01:13:49] Denis: Yeah. All right. 

[01:13:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:13:51] Denis: Not bad. 

[01:13:52] Eldar: Yeah. Not bad. 

[01:13:55] Denis: So you happy for him? 

[01:13:56] Eldar: I'm, I, I'm excited. You know what I mean? I think that, uh, despite maybe when Toliy is a little bit more worried about these types of scenarios, I'm excited because, again, like we said, uh, we were in the lab for a while, as you know, as you said.

[01:14:10] It's time to see what we got. I wanna see what we got. 

[01:14:14] Yeah. 

[01:14:14] You know what I mean? And what I wanna see, obviously, what I saw in my backyard, for example, when they came over. I mean, the they're kids, and they're enjoying themselves, and, like, they're happy. 

[01:14:24] Yeah. 

[01:14:24] You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[01:14:25] Hopefully, they have the ability to finally tune in into this shit forever, you know what I mean, and share this for rest of their lives. This is what I obviously wish for them, you know, but the only way to find out is right now through actual practice, and, uh, we're gonna see- Yeah ... whether or not that's the case, right?

[01:14:43] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[01:14:43] Eldar: Whether or not some of all these things that are gonna require from Mike to apply, he's gonna be able to do, apply to it apply these things gracefully. Because I think if he does it's inevitable for him to win. 

[01:14:55] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:14:58] Eldar: Maybe if, even if it's not right now Yeah he has a lot of questions, right?

[01:15:10] Yeah. 

[01:15:11] Denis: I have one, but I'm not gonna say it. 

[01:15:14] Katherine: Why not? No, 

[01:15:16] Denis: no. 

[01:15:17] Eldar: That's what Patreon... Our Patreon subscribers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. Mike? Are you excited? I'm very excited, yeah. You're very excited? Yeah. Okay. I'm excited, for sure. I 

[01:15:28] Mike: mean- 

[01:15:29] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:15:30] Mike: like, um I, I guess through this time I got to a place where I wanted to be, yeah. 

[01:15:44] And I'm, you know, it's, it feels great, yeah, to be able to like, reflect, look back, see where I came from. Obviously still, you know, still plenty of stuff to do, you know, things to work on, things to fix, but- Yeah ... uh, that's like, uh, that's regular shit. Yeah. That's just part of my life, my journey and- 

[01:16:03] Eldar: Yeah.

[01:16:05] Yeah. I think it's the coolest thing to see, to at least see your own progress within the things that's happening, where it's like, oh, you just applied it right there on the spot by being maybe patient- 

[01:16:15] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[01:16:15] Eldar: right? Or accepting for someone. Yeah. And because it's a love thing, right, those things c- like, they just magnify, and you're like, "Oh, wow."

[01:16:23] And now like you almost like blissfully experiencing those skills in action, and I think balancing that off of another person, I think especially as if it's being understood and received, like I experienced it with Catherine, right? It was, uh, it was like magical. It was- Yeah ... it was- 

[01:16:41] Mike: It's crazy. 

[01:16:42] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:16:42] Mike: Yeah.

[01:16:42] When you combine like the feelings- 

[01:16:44] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:16:45] Mike: with the understanding- 

[01:16:46] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:16:46] Mike: when you feel like you're being understood, it's, you're on like- Yeah ... top of the world. 

[01:16:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:16:51] Mike: That feeling is- Yeah ... next level. 

[01:16:54] Eldar: So if you're a listener, and you never felt this feeling, and, uh, you are, are curious as to what is Mike experiencing right now and why he's experiencing this right now, you have to go back many episodes.

[01:17:07] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:17:08] Eldar: Episode one, right? Because the, the whole journey is documented. 

[01:17:11] Mike: The whole journey is documented. Yeah, it's crazy. 

[01:17:13] Eldar: Dennis actually named them, Mike's Fallen in Love Part One. Mike's Fallen in Love, Part Two. Yeah. Mike Goes Off, 

[01:17:19] Mike: Six. 

[01:17:20] Eldar: Oh, yeah. Yes. Mike Goes Off, Six. No way. Yeah. I don't remember those. And I...

[01:17:24] Today when we were walking like, "What's the episode? What is, what, what's, what's today's episode?" Mike goes, "Mike Falling in Love, Part Three." Like, Dennis will love this. Well, after a 

[01:17:32] Denis: while it was like- ... same shit. I was like, "Yeah, here we go." Oh, my God. I'm try- I guess I was trolling now than remembering. It was 

[01:17:37] Eldar: falling- Yeah.

[01:17:37] No, you were trolling ... 

[01:17:38] Denis: in love eight, number nine. 

[01:17:39] Eldar: Yeah. Like... What now, you know? 

[01:17:41] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:17:41] Eldar: But yeah, it's it's a 

[01:17:43] Katherine: cool journey. Does it really start from like episode one? Or does it happen sometime after? I, no, I 

[01:17:46] Eldar: think the development o- of everyone that's sitting here starts from one. 

[01:17:52] But like there's, there 

[01:17:53] Katherine: were seasons- No, no, I'm asking specifically

[01:17:54] before that, 

[01:17:54] Eldar: you know. Oh, no, no, it starts way before that. Yeah. Yeah, before the podcast. Oh, 

[01:17:57] Katherine: before. Oh, 

[01:17:58] Eldar: okay. Of course. Or yeah, I mean, we- The podcast 

[01:18:00] Mike: is only six years. 

[01:18:01] Eldar: Yeah. Podcast is only six years. We've been doing philosophy and- Well- ... like Dennis said, sitting at our living room- ... well- ... eating eggs, you know, politicking about this shit, you know?

[01:18:10] Over decades ... my dad's house, yeah Decades 20 years 

[01:18:11] Mike: Yeah 

[01:18:11] Eldar: Yeah 

[01:18:12] Mike: 20 years at least 

[01:18:13] Eldar: Yeah 

[01:18:13] Mike: Yeah 

[01:18:16] Eldar: But yeah, it's documented. It's very interesting. A lot of it was said and a, a lot of testimonies were said, uh, during episodes. Very candid. Not Candida, Dennis. Candid. 

[01:18:29] Candida. He 

[01:18:31] probably thought about it- Candida

[01:18:32] Candida. You're like, "Eh, I don't know how his vocab is," you know? 

[01:18:34] Yeah.

[01:18:38] But yeah, it's nice. It's interesting- Yeah ... this journey. Uh, you know, if, if I picture it, if you do have kids and they grow up and they have to re-listen to, like- Mm-hmm ... "Where did my dad come from or who was my dad- Yeah ... and why?" looking back will be very interesting to see.

[01:18:56] Mike: It would be, yeah. It would be sick to have, um, have AI listen to all the episodes- 

[01:19:00] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:19:01] Mike: and give, like, the, the f- like, the recap of- Oh, 

[01:19:04] Eldar: yeah ... 

[01:19:04] Mike: specifically that whole thing. 

[01:19:04] Eldar: Bro, I'm gonna have them write books about this whole show. 

[01:19:07] Mike: Mm. 

[01:19:07] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:19:08] Mike: Okay. 

[01:19:08] Eldar: You need to calm down over there.

[01:19:13] Yes. 

[01:19:14] Mike: Yeah. Short 

[01:19:15] Eldar: stories- Yeah ... books. I, I mean, there's... The, the... It's endless here. 

[01:19:18] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:19:19] There, there's so much stuff was discussed. Mm-hmm. So much stuff has been, like- 

[01:19:21] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:19:22] Mike: maybe spoken that was not right or, you know, then- Corrected, 

[01:19:25] Eldar: learned ... 

[01:19:26] Mike: r- rectified the situation, you know, the belief systems fixed, you know, lined up with the truth, and then the standpoints that have changed throughout the years.

[01:19:34] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:19:35] Mike: Uh, the previous actions, 'cause it's like hard... It's, you don't remember it. You remember it all obviously when you get into the convo. 

[01:19:40] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:19:40] Mike: You know, and you start r- reminiscing about the past or thinking about the past. But yeah, a lot of, like crazy moments. 

[01:19:48] Eldar: Epiphanies. 

[01:19:48] Mike: Epiphanies, moments, yeah.

[01:19:52] Eldar: Yeah

[01:19:56] Toliy? Is Mike onto something or what? 

[01:19:59] Denis: I think he's onto something, 

[01:20:00] Eldar: yeah. You, you think so? Wow. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. 

[01:20:03] Denis: Yo, drop the mic, bro. 

[01:20:04] Eldar: That's what I'm saying, you know? End the podcast, man. Yeah. 

[01:20:06] Denis: If I honestly think that's it, you gotta turn it off at that point. 

[01:20:10] Eldar: Yeah? Well, no. Well, what's the final- No, no, no, we can do it

[01:20:12] but I mean, that's, that's a, it's a, I think it's a very nice moment. 

[01:20:16] Yeah. 

[01:20:17] Toliy, how do you see it? 

[01:20:19] I mean, I agree with what Mike is saying. To me, when I'm like, I don't know, if you wanna call it critical or like imperical or like questioning it is like, um- Judgemental? Like, l- no, I like to make sure that this is what it, that like that this is what it is, so I feel like, yeah, like everything he's saying now, like I definitely agree with him. 

[01:20:39] Yeah. 

[01:20:40] And I mean, it sounds hun- like 100% right. 

[01:20:43] Yeah. 

[01:20:44] But yeah, for me, n- not it's not like a paranoia or or an, or anything like that. It's just more of like a making sure that the same mindset and the same energy is up kept throughout- 

[01:20:57] Mike: Yeah

[01:20:58] Eldar: The experiences. I, I think he understands that ... and that, that's why I- Yeah ... you know, try to ask. I 

[01:21:01] Mike: understand that, and I think- Questions. He's, he's always doubtful, the fact that- Well, no ... 

[01:21:04] Eldar: you, you understand the magnitude 

[01:21:06] Mike: of it. 

[01:21:06] Eldar: No. No. No. Yeah. So, so I think that like, like we all understand this right now.

[01:21:10] Mm-hmm. But I like, like I already know ahead of time that when you're in something you're like it's not as easy as n- and it's not as practical to still understand it in that same way, especially when there's desire and all that comes into play. I think it becomes a bigger and bigger challenge- 

[01:21:32] Yeah

[01:21:32] which is why I think that you need people to, to, to challenge your conclusions- 

[01:21:39] On, on life so that, you know, so that like you can make sure that, um that like those same thoughts and those same like- Check out. Yeah. Check out the same way. 

[01:21:51] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why I made that vow, to always come back and, you know- Yeah

[01:21:57] get the green light. You happy for him, T?

[01:22:02] Eldar: He's onto something, you see? Yeah. Even T blessed him. 

[01:22:05] Mike: Yeah. That is rare. I, I agree for sure what T's saying, I understand. Yeah. And obviously I also understand that for myself, like- I 

[01:22:11] Eldar: think, I think that you're taking it a little bit more seriously now, and like you said, respecting it a little bit 

[01:22:14] Mike: more- 

[01:22:15] Eldar: Yeah

[01:22:15] Mike: because- I am. I am. I understand- Yeah It's a new challenge and it's a very challenging challenge 

[01:22:22] Eldar: Yeah. 100%. You know? Especially, you know, like Dennis said, like, look, like this is different. 

[01:22:28] You know what I mean? Like, nobody does it this way. The world doesn't do it that way. And, and- The world has a very specific way, fucking a box that they operate out of.

[01:22:35] Yeah. And, and like- So let's see if your converting skills are good- Mm ... from PDF to JPG. 

[01:22:40] And I think the, uh, phenome- the crazy phenomenon to me about just mankind and the hu- human progression is that naturally, like if Mike continues to succeed here, there, there's gonna be a, uh, like a, a tu- like a push-tug, I think scenario between like- feeling that you know something versus being humble in that process.

[01:23:04] And I think that, like, it's a very tricky one because you naturally, like, if you see success, if things are going well it is, it it can be harder to show that same humility- Mm-hmm ... and respect. 

[01:23:16] So you're saying gr- you, you might grow arrogance. 

[01:23:19] I it's so, like, that to me is, like, just one of the craziest parts about life is because, like, it doesn't make sense.

[01:23:25] Like, you're learning more, you're getting better at something, for example, so you do know more. 

[01:23:31] But when you feel that way- 

[01:23:33] Oh, that's dangerous ... 

[01:23:34] that, that's the danger Covered for. When, when you feel that you know something, it's over for you. Like- 

[01:23:39] That's why Dennis came back. When he did come back, he said, "Look, I realize that I don't know nothing."

[01:23:43] Yeah. Mm. 

[01:23:44] Why you gotta say it like that, guy? Look 

[01:23:45] at, look at his reaction. You know, he, you know, he fucking knew the keywords to s- to come in and, like, yo- Ah ... I'll just throw these words around, you know, and it'll 

[01:23:51] fucking work. Do you think he, like, studied a skit or 

[01:23:54] something? I hope 

[01:23:54] not. He got good at sales.

[01:23:55] I hope 

[01:23:55] Denis: not. Yeah. No, but, but- I don't, I don't want, I don't believe any of this shit, bro. Stop saying it, 

[01:23:59] Eldar: bro. He, he . Yeah. He told Claude, like, "Hey, what, what do you think keywords- Yeah ... that these guys would like based on the podcast?" And this is what they talk about. Weave something together. Google 

[01:24:07] Denis: Gemini. We can't afford Claude, no, I'm just kidding.

[01:24:09] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:24:09] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:24:10] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah, so, like that to me is just a crazy phenomenon always, right? It is. Like, when, when you think you're growing and, like, you think that you're- Yeah ... you're just n- you know something, it it naturally is, like, a weird feeling about, like, you almost have to, like, actively and, like, willfully be humble and to always know that there is a lot to learn and that, like, you have to always res- It's so 

[01:24:33] vast

[01:24:33] yeah. You have to res- You respect 

[01:24:35] that ... 

[01:24:35] respect 

[01:24:35] that, yeah ... 

[01:24:36] because, again, like one new variable, one different piece, one different move, one different scenario, 

[01:24:42] it can definitely throw things off. And I know you have that. I know to some degree- Yeah ... you have, have this because you've discussed it elaborately on previous episodes that some people missed.

[01:24:51] Yeah. 

[01:24:53] How do you birth that? Well, I think- Or how do you actually, like, start to respect that, what you just said? Like, how do you actually buy in? And, like, why is Mike buying in, right? Like, he's like, "Yo, I, I'm buying in. I bought in," into that for himself. Because that's the ultimate I think, key to success, I think- Well, I 

[01:25:13] think that, 

[01:25:14] like-

[01:25:14] for yourself ... 

[01:25:15] I, I think naturally people are, like, um, they're, like, wired and they're created with self-preservation, like, uh tactics. 

[01:25:24] And I think the ultimate guaranteed forever self-preservation tactic is humility. 

[01:25:30] Wow. 

[01:25:30] You'll always, like, preserve yourself forever. 

[01:25:34] And yeah, it's just something that you, you can always pull from forever because it's, uh, like, how, how can you not?

[01:25:42] Mm. 

[01:25:44] Because it's, it sounds complicated. 

[01:25:48] Well, no, it actually- It sounds, it, it actually sounds... The, the that, that's the crazy part, is that- Yes, it's a paradox ... for certain people, it's the hardest thing to say- Yeah ... that they don't know something. Yeah. But it's actually the easiest thing, right? But it's- Is it easier to say, like, "Hey, I-" 

[01:26:01] To admit that you don't know something?

[01:26:02] Bro. 

[01:26:02] Well, that's... Well, yeah, no. No, it's hard, but if you actually think about it, is it easier to say, like, "I know how to build a rocket," or just say like, "I don't know how to build a rocket"? 

[01:26:09] Yeah. 

[01:26:10] For example. But 

[01:26:11] at the, the... Yeah, for that example, it's 

[01:26:12] ea- Yeah ... you gave an easy example ... yeah, it's, it's easier.

[01:26:14] Yes. But when it's yourself, yeah, and your ego and all, all that. But that's the thing- Yeah ... is that, like, if you value that kind of way, and you wanna preserve, like your mind- 

[01:26:24] Yeah ... 

[01:26:24] then yeah, I think it's, like, one, one of the most important mind, mindsets. But it's really difficult, especially when you see success, especially if you, you know- 

[01:26:35] Start rolling. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like, if D is, if, you know, this business- D was rolling, right? ... is doing, like... I don't know. Let's just say it's doing well, or, like, something's going good. 

[01:26:41] Yeah. 

[01:26:42] If he just goes on that train, I mean, my guess is that he'd probably crash if he, like... Ev- eventually it's gonna- 

[01:26:48] Mike: Yeah

[01:26:48] Eldar: crash. If you think that, like, you just got it all figured out, and, like, there's nothing more to learn, and, like- Yeah ... like, what, like- Yeah ... like, you know? Like, you can't have that kind of, um, mindset. 

[01:26:58] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, but, rent- I mean, 

[01:26:59] Denis: you can, but- ... rent, rent's due every day What? They say rent is due every day, right?

[01:27:04] You like that, or no? 

[01:27:05] Eldar: It's not due every day. 

[01:27:06] Denis: You pay rent daily? 

[01:27:07] Eldar: Yeah. Please excuse my friend. Yeah. Excuse 

[01:27:08] Denis: him. What do you mean? You don't get it? It's very s-... I'm helping you out, bro. I'm re- helping you reach the masses. Rent is due every day. You saying, "Yo, don't, don't fucking drink your own Kool-Aid," right?

[01:27:18] You gotta always be humble. Don't drink your Kool-Aid. That's what- Well, no, you, 

[01:27:20] Eldar: you don't have to. You don't have to. Carefully. 

[01:27:22] Denis: Yeah. So, guys, please spare me the fucking... 

[01:27:25] Eldar: We can't. Well, no, but you, 

[01:27:25] Denis: you really 

[01:27:26] Eldar: don't have to. Hyperboles. You really don't have 

[01:27:28] Denis: to. In order to achieve what you're talking about- You could do whatever you 

[01:27:30] Eldar: want in life.

[01:27:31] Denis: In order to achieve- Yeah ... what you guys are talking about- Right ... what you're saying- Thank, 

[01:27:34] Eldar: thank you, D ... yeah. Thank 

[01:27:35] Denis: you. I gotta be very careful of my words, you know? 

[01:27:37] Eldar: He's listening. 

[01:27:38] Denis: You, you... Yeah, you know? Like, you gotta... I agree. Yeah, for sure. Especially when, when, uh, when life punches you in the mouth too, you know?

[01:27:46] Like, 'cause the ho- honeymoon's fun. Okay. Well, 

[01:27:51] Eldar: well, that's the thing- Then you get- ... is that when life punches you in the mouth- You gotta be careful ... it's much 

[01:27:53] Denis: easier to be humble. 

[01:27:55] Eldar: Well, yeah. 

[01:27:55] Denis: Mm. 

[01:27:56] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:27:56] Denis: Well. 

[01:27:57] Eldar: The 

[01:27:57] faster 

[01:27:57] you get the 

[01:27:58] punch, the more you get punched. That, that's the whole point- Yeah ... is that if you don't have the ability to, like, to be humble and to show humility, life is going to bend your arm in that way regardless.

[01:28:07] Yeah. No, I didn't 

[01:28:08] Denis: mean... I wasn't talking about... I know you're still talking about the humble thing, but, you know, I'm already la- No, I'm just kidding. I'm already gone. No, going back to his thing is, like, that'll be... To tie in the humble requirement, but in that process of what he's gonna go through, is that, like, when I'm, when I'm thinking about it is, like you gotta s...

[01:28:25] It's also about surviving. Meaning, like- 

[01:28:29] Eldar: Oh, man ... 

[01:28:29] Denis: it ain't n- Like, listen, before y- I already know what you're, what you're about to... No, I mean that. Yeah, but you are stuck in your teeth and shit. Surviving, surviving- Like, it sounds bad. No, it's not bad. It's just the reality. Surviving in terms of, like, Like withstanding, th- this is the, the, why they say there's a honeymoon phase is because that's the just the beginning part, you know?

[01:28:50] And it's the most easiest part. And then you get real life, and then you have, you know, you, you get married and then you gotta live together, and then you gotta figure out how to make a living and who's liv- you know, all those life circumstances. And then you have children, and you have all these things and then, you know, parents and this and that, and this happens, right?

[01:29:06] And it's like, wheth- pr- preserving that, those core values- 

[01:29:11] Eldar: Doing it with grace, 

[01:29:12] Denis: all these things ... in the midst of all those s- storms. Yeah. Life brings you lots of storms. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is the, you know, is the interesting kind of, uh, the journey, you know what I mean? And, and it's fun too, when you can you know, put the pieces together.

[01:29:26] Well, well, like me, me and I just today, you know, like we just, we had Delilah's wiling out couple days in a row, and we just like, we just grab each other. We're like, "Yo, just wanted like, you know, it's okay, we made it through. We love each other. We good. Like she's good. She's teething," all sorts of things.

[01:29:43] But like, you know, like life punches you will test your love. It'll test your love for your relationship for your ch- children, for everything, you know what I mean? Because if- For your business, for your- Because- Do you really want, what do you want? How bad do you want it? Is what you're saying, no?

[01:29:56] Because love can't stand the fraud, right? Well, yeah, right. It does a fraud check every day. 

[01:30:01] Mike: Yeah, but it's not like life- You must check as well That's a good one ... wrestling. What? Check, check as you're 

[01:30:03] Eldar: wrestling. 

[01:30:06] Mike: You say- When you say life is testing you, you'd almost, uh- Too negative? ... you make it sound... No, it's not too negative.

[01:30:10] It's almost sounds like, hey, it's just like a random thing, but it's not. I think life is testing you because you, we don't see the consequences of our actions or we're not paying attention enough to what's going on, what we say, what we do, you know? I yeah. It's not just life testing you. I think it's your own ignorances and things that are just m- shown from your actions that then create in real life situations from those moments.

[01:30:38] Denis: Yeah, sure. 

[01:30:39] Mike: Yeah. You're right, but- Saying just life testing you is like so, so generic, you know? 

[01:30:42] Denis: Su- I mean, sure. 

[01:30:44] Mike: It's almost like, oh yeah, just like, you know, I didn't really get here. It was by accident. Life is just testing. Well- 

[01:30:49] Denis: Well, look, I'll give you an example. She's giving 

[01:30:50] Mike: you a 

[01:30:51] Denis: heads up. I'll give you a real head- Yeah

[01:30:52] a real life example. 

[01:30:53] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:30:53] Denis: Today, right? Asli's on a new journey. I'll make it short, but just to, to kind of- 

[01:30:59] Eldar: But don't minimize her. 

[01:31:01] Denis: What? Asli's on a new journey. She's become a yoga teacher now. Okay. She's teaching classes. 

[01:31:07] Eldar: Very nice. 

[01:31:07] Denis: Uh, w- we got one car. Thankfully she drives, but we only got one car- Mm-hmm

[01:31:10] so we definitely gonna need a second one because they can't keep up with this. Yeah. Today's an example of- That's tough ... she has a date with our lovely Catherine. Um, I gotta fix something for the insurance, so I gotta go to the insurance office. What? This insurance office, they're, uh, and I got enough t- but I'm, at the same time, I'm working all day long, and then we gotta deal with Delilah in and out, and we're all in one house.

[01:31:31] I go deal with the insurance. While I'm in the insurance, I got, I planned it out, I got enough time. 

[01:31:36] Mm-hmm. 

[01:31:37] Their systems go down And we have a schizophrenic in the... This is for Medicare. So we got a schizophrenic in the lobby just wilding out. It was the wildest shit, like wilding out. Like, "You better give me my motherfucking money."

[01:31:50] You know what I mean? I got like chaos going on. I'm on a time thing. I got a client call in two hours. I feel bad because, you know, uh, Ossie made plans and she li- really sticks to her word. You know what I mean? And I got all this stuff and I'm stuck but I'm, I have to do this. I have to do this for her healthcare thing At the same time, she calls me while I'm in the thing, "You requested the thing to fix the door.

[01:32:15] The super's here. I'm alone." The c- I hear Delilah crying in the back. I'm like, "Yo, just tell him I said next week. I can't tell him, I already let him in." Chaos. Long story short, chaos, right? So these are the things, yes, you could say that, you know the maybe I did something- You see why 

[01:32:28] Mike: I had to make the disclaimer earlier?

[01:32:30] Mm, about what? About, like, it's not just by accident that his life is chaos. Yes. He's a numb nuts. Yeah. 

[01:32:35] Denis: We... Listen, like I said- ... uh, I, I'll, I'll say, I'll answer that by saying usually, you know what the old man in the family says- ... and then w- everybody kinda laughs at him, is like, "You'll see. Like, life will teach you" kind of a thing.

[01:32:45] Yeah. Where it's like, yeah, sure we could, they suck probably every little thing. Oh, of course. But when you got a lot of things on your plate- Yeah ... like o- like other humans, not just, like, yourself and your own- Mm ... like, schedule. 

[01:32:56] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:32:56] Denis: You gotta deal with a lot of people, you know what I mean, that rely on you, count on you.

[01:32:59] Only if- I know you've experienced that ... only 

[01:33:00] Mike: if you stack your play, play really high, then you do. 

[01:33:02] Denis: You... No, I mean, sure, again. I'm, I'm talking real life, you know? This man, I'm just talking shit, man. There's nothing in this day that was like, that was like super, super bad, and yes, maybe I could've... But, like, these are every day kinda things, you know?

[01:33:13] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:33:13] Denis: And most of the s- What's 

[01:33:14] Eldar: the percentage of these type of days you have per 

[01:33:15] Denis: week? Every day. Most days we hand- no, I, and you, you're not gonna take me there. The rats is here every day. You're not taking me there. I'm not going on your journey with you. 

[01:33:20] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:33:21] Denis: We handle them. Long story long- Yeah ... is that, like, I- 

[01:33:24] Eldar: Everything's handled, right, T?

[01:33:25] Denis: Uh, we get through- He just puts 

[01:33:26] Eldar: out fires, you... 

[01:33:28] Denis: Yeah, all day ... certain, certain, uh, that's a man's responsibility. Some da- You like that? Some, some days it's just like- Yeah, I know ... it's just like that. And to circle it back to love, is I got her, where we just kinda almost laugh and be like, when, when one of us is wrong or something is clear, like y'all, like...

[01:33:44] And she still said, like, "Yo, you you messed up my plans with Catherine. You know, you need to buffer this out a little more." Certain things 100%. But nonetheless, it's like, like the day before also was chaotic 'cause, 'cause the kid it was, was, was, was teething. 

[01:33:56] You look at the other person and you're like They got you.

[01:34:00] Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like, we got each other's back, and we laugh, and we can just hug each other and focus on, on the, the greater mission. It was just one day storm. You know, you learn from it, you make that... You learn from it. I know you're very big on learning. I'm a big learner. You don't wanna stack up.

[01:34:12] You 

[01:34:12] Eldar: guys, you guys still do recaps? 

[01:34:15] Denis: Of course. We, we always... We, we have our filo club, we just don't call it that, you know? Yeah. And I'll be honest with you whenever Steven... It's a funny one. You ready? Yeah. Sh- we... To be clear, we talk about... I mean, come on, bro. Like, we ta- I'm not a fucking... You know, I talk about- Yeah

[01:34:28] life. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we talk about concepts and things like that, and every time we get too deep over the three years, I'd be, like, secretly pissed. 

[01:34:36] Eldar: Yeah. '

[01:34:36] Denis: Cause I'd be like, "All right, like- Jeez ... 'cause I, you know, just like with the- Wow ... travel stuff, all this stuff- Yeah ... like, I'm like, like, "We don't need to be doing the philosophy."

[01:34:45] Let's just go back. Can we go back to- 

[01:34:46] Eldar: You start shaking your hands ... 

[01:34:47] Denis: I, I got, like, you know- Yeah ... like, the trauma of, like, you know, I, I'm- Uh-huh ... associating it with you, with you guy- Yeah ... you know what I mean? I'm like- Mm ... but- 

[01:34:53] Eldar: Listen, we're, we're Team Ostley, man, so- 

[01:34:55] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:34:55] Eldar: Yeah. We're Team Ostley. You're, you're in good 

[01:34:56] Denis: hands.

[01:34:57] Why was I... Uh, but yeah. I've... There was some purpose of what I was trying to tell you- Yeah ... but, yeah. You'll you'll learn. 

[01:35:02] Eldar: You'll learn. I, 

[01:35:02] Denis: I know. Your, your shit is gonna be tested, you know? More than just- ... uh you can ever imagine, you know? 

[01:35:09] Katherine: This is the preventative 

[01:35:10] Eldar: care part. T, let me ask you this, T.

[01:35:11] You know the... You would know the answer to this You think he does, like, a prep talk before he comes? Like, to these types of things where it's like, uh, like, "Look, they're gonna say certain things and they might trigger you, but..." Peace and 

[01:35:20] love. 

[01:35:21] Katherine: Yes. I, I would guess yes. 

[01:35:24] Eldar: That, that would 

[01:35:25] be crazy. I think so. No, it wouldn't be crazy.

[01:35:26] You think he does that? No, it wouldn't 

[01:35:27] Katherine: be crazy. What, do you think he, 

[01:35:29] Eldar: he's in the parking lot- That wouldn't be crazy ... like, "Yo, because, hey, yo, because I'm here." "I'm trying to c- I'm trying to be back. I'm trying to be back." Yes, yes. "Calm down. Calm down. Don't get angry." "Calm down. Don't be like that one 

[01:35:36] Denis: thing

[01:35:40] Katherine: he said." Yes. 

[01:35:41] Eldar: That's what I'm saying. I knew it. I knew it. Yes. Because Mike took a jab. I'll have to 

[01:35:42] Denis: tell him I told you I'd go invite on that. It's okay. 

[01:35:44] Eldar: Yes. You see? Bait. Bait. You see? It's bait. Yeah. I told you it's bait. Yeah. Mike did it, and now I- But 

[01:35:49] Denis: why'd you say that just now? Like- 

[01:35:50] Eldar: Because I, I analyzed.

[01:35:51] I was like, wait a second. I know Mike's throwing a jab. You don't really like it. I know I threw certain things and you kinda like brushed them off. Yeah, but 

[01:35:56] Denis: what, but here I 

[01:35:57] Eldar: wasn't 

[01:35:57] Denis: trying- So- ... 

[01:35:58] Katherine: I wasn't trying to fight the jab No, but when Mike was doing it, like, I started kinda, like I started feeling like- 

[01:36:01] Eldar: Yes

[01:36:02] Katherine: I felt the vibe. Yeah. 

[01:36:05] Eldar: Oh, yeah. I felt the energy. Acceleration coming. See, I pick up on those things. Yeah. He went serious 

[01:36:07] Mike: while I was just busting balls. Yeah. Yeah. His response was serious. I forgot what you said, but 

[01:36:11] Denis: you s- No, but I, but whatever. I don't even know what we got here. But, like, this last one wasn't, I wasn't trying to, like, tr- like- No

[01:36:16] battle him. 

[01:36:17] Mike: No, I know. 

[01:36:17] Denis: I was trying to say that, like, you know, like, you're gonna get t- and I, no. I agree. I think it's coming from a 

[01:36:23] place where you actually- I know you know what I mean ... yeah ... like, yeah, life is- Yeah ... life will, you know. The honeymoon is great, you know? 

[01:36:27] Eldar: I think that- 

[01:36:27] Denis: When I was flying to Croatia every other week on the stimulus money, oh man.

[01:36:31] Eldar: Stimi. 

[01:36:31] Denis: And 

[01:36:32] Katherine: the 

[01:36:32] Denis: s- Croatia, Aus- Austria, we chilling, bro, you know? And then you gotta figure out where you live and where you're doing this. Mm-hmm. What's going on here. Of course. Oh, this pers- you know, this person has their own desires, their own dreams. You know what I mean? Yeah. You set one per- you set the person up with one, you know, game plan.

[01:36:48] They come to you and say, "I want a different game plan." You gotta adjust. You gotta- Exactly ... you gotta allow them to be themselves, you know? Like it's like- 

[01:36:56] Katherine: Acceptance, right ... 

[01:36:56] Denis: it's a lot, you know, while you're still doing and putting out the fires, self-inflicted fires, of course, you know? 

[01:37:01] Mike: Well, yeah. 

[01:37:02] Denis: But.

[01:37:02] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:37:03] Denis: Yeah, but long story short, not to end it on a bad thing, is like that's where the, you know, that's why I'm interested for you to, that's why I guess I was so looking forward to starting already for so long is 'cause there's so much nuance to that. 

[01:37:14] Mm-hmm. 

[01:37:14] That like I'm

[01:37:20] For lack of a better word. 

[01:37:21] Mm-hmm. 

[01:37:22] Was that, like, there's so much learning in the action, too. 

[01:37:25] Yeah. 

[01:37:25] Like- Whoa, whoa ... learning on the job, man in the arena shit. Whoa. You know, like- Whoa ... when you're getting burned, yes, it hurts, and yes- Yeah ... you could have done it perfectly another way, but, like, you're really gathering market data.

[01:37:35] Of course. The data. You're like, "Yo, ah, okay." "Don't do that," you know? Mm-hmm. And you learn, and you grow as a man, as a, as a person in a relationship. What does the other person need from you? All this shit, you know. Mm. I had one whole vision for Asley. I thought, uh, perfect stay-at-home wife. I finally accomplish it, and she's like, "Oh, actually, I have this whole other dream," you know what I mean?

[01:37:54] Yeah. And now what my whole job now is to let her... Is now I'm doing more babysitting, you know? 

[01:37:59] Eldar: Yes. What do you think, Mike, about 

[01:38:00] Denis: his, uh, heads up? He's a complete idiot. 

[01:38:06] And his life is what it is because he's an idiot, 

[01:38:10] Mike: and he needs to lift him up. Damn, you shouted Sergei. 

[01:38:11] Denis: Yeah. If he thought a little deeper, he wouldn't be in the shit hole he's in.

[01:38:18] Mike: Listen, I agree with him. I'm not gonna take a jab at him. I agree. And, and that's the same thing that we said earlier about being cautious, being, you know, uh, respecting those things. I think I agree. I think I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm not gonna get it right. I'm not gonna bat 1000. I'm gonna learn the lesson by, you know fucking up.

[01:38:38] Hopefully I'm a better learner than Dennis. 

[01:38:41] Eldar: Hmm. 

[01:38:42] Mike: Got you. Had to give you one. And that's it, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's gonna happen. I, I'm not planning to always do the right thing. I mean, I'd, I'd like to, but I also, you know, understand I'm not gonna be able to. Sometimes I'm not gonna be focused. I'm not gonna pay attention.

[01:38:55] I may miss something. But I guess uh, more time on duty- On- ... hopefully leads to be, like, a better, uh- Security guard. Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:39:07] Denis: For sure. 

[01:39:08] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:39:08] Denis: Yeah, I agree. That's what I 

[01:39:09] Mike: think. 

[01:39:09] Denis: No, we on the same page. Listen- All right ... I feel you, bro. You got this, bro. I believe in you. All right. 

[01:39:15] Eldar: Great. You believe in him?

[01:39:16] Denis: Yeah, I said it 10... You asked me 10 times already. Yeah, I do. I, I'm looking forward to it, you 

[01:39:20] Eldar: know? 

[01:39:21] Denis: All 

[01:39:21] Eldar: right. 

[01:39:21] Denis: For sure. He'll, 

[01:39:22] Eldar: he'll crush it. We gonna, we gonna pop out. So how, so how do we get here? How do we get here?

[01:39:28] Mike: What? 

[01:39:28] Eldar: As- How do we 

[01:39:29] Mike: start? Dennis would say by car. 

[01:39:31] Eldar: Yes. 

[01:39:31] Mike: How do we start? 

[01:39:32] Eldar: How do, how do we get here to this, to this point again, right? Like, we talked about what Toliy was, was always worried about the fact that, like, you might not be able to stay on course. 

[01:39:40] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:39:41] Eldar: Right? And Dennis is clearly saying like, "Look, uh, you gotta learn on the job, damn it."

[01:39:45] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:39:45] Eldar: You know what I mean? Like- 

[01:39:47] Mike: I think it's part of it too, yeah. I think it's part of it, but you try to, you know- The more you pay attention, the more you focus, the more you seriously take it, the less, uh, you know, on, on the job- Yeah ... fal- slips- Manu- maneuvering ... slips and falls you have.

[01:40:05] Eldar: Maneuvering. Maneuverings. 

[01:40:07] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:40:09] Eldar: Yeah. What would you wish for Dennis, Mike? What I wish for Dennis? Well, yeah, from where you're standing right now, obviously, you know. Oh, where I'm standing. Okay. He clearly is like want- he wished you some stuff, so it's like, oh, it's only right for you- 

[01:40:24] Mike: Re, re, re, re, re, uh- 

[01:40:25] Eldar: Yeah.

[01:40:26] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:40:27] Eldar: I'm not sure, man. 

[01:40:28] Denis: You're just in that mood to like- ... you're not in the mood 

[01:40:31] Eldar: for anything, right? Maybe a little bit. 

[01:40:32] Denis: Yeah. I feel you. 

[01:40:34] Eldar: Yeah, I- 

[01:40:35] Denis: so look- Salvation. Just say salvation ... 

[01:40:36] Eldar: I, I, I guess I'll speak for Mike I guess maybe he'll, if he was gonna wish you something, he's gonna wish you one thing.

[01:40:43] Probably become a little bit more sensitive to pain, because he's sensing that you are experiencing a lot of it because you're constantly learning on the job still. If you are. That was your testimony. If you still are. But if you got it, then great. But if you don't become sensitive to pain.

[01:40:58] Mm-hmm. Figure it out on the practice run. Yeah. Maybe here. 

[01:41:02] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:41:03] Eldar: And then you could take that into the world, and then you don't have to learn on the job. 

[01:41:06] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[01:41:06] Eldar: I think, I, I would... You would think that learning on the job is a little bit harder, right? 

[01:41:09] Mike: It's a little bit harder. 

[01:41:10] Eldar: A bit more painful.

[01:41:10] It's 

[01:41:11] Mike: probably inevitable. 

[01:41:12] Eldar: That's it. Yeah, that's it. You 

[01:41:12] Mike: know? It's part of life, yeah. 

[01:41:13] Eldar: Yeah. But- But the things that you potentially can find room to learn on the side- Mm-hmm. Yeah ... you should, you probably should. Yeah. And that's, that's what I think. 

[01:41:20] I picture right now, like, what, what, what was that, like, cartoon mo- mo- movie, but it was on HBO?

[01:41:24] Like, uh, Os- Osmosis or what? When, like, they like- Osmosis Jones? Yeah, Osmosis Jones. 

[01:41:28] Yeah. 

[01:41:29] In, in his body right now. Everyone's like... Like, the alarms are going off and- Yeah ... and, and, like, all those, like, little people in there are like, "Calm down." "Calm down." 

[01:41:39] Yeah. "

[01:41:39] You just came back. Calm down." Yeah. 

[01:41:41] Yeah, yeah, 

[01:41:41] yeah.

[01:41:41] I- "It's not the time to rip a new 

[01:41:43] one yet." Mr... I know, I know you have 

[01:41:44] Denis: a lot, we have a lot to say. 

[01:41:46] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:41:47] But we will have our time. 

[01:41:48] Yeah. Wait, let them get a little excited, then we'll throw the hammer. Hold on, it's too early. Good. Yeah. No, I 

[01:41:55] Denis: mean, we always, me and you, we always, you know, disagreed on the learn-on-the-job part, but I just think, I ag- Here's the thing- I'm not, the thing is- If I was to...

[01:42:03] Just like it's kinda a continuation- We don't disagree. 

[01:42:04] Eldar: I'm gonna ask you. 

[01:42:05] Denis: I left 

[01:42:06] Eldar: last time- Do you enjoy learning on the job? You're gonna say 

[01:42:07] Denis: no. No, no, no. But that's the thing. A lot of people don't, obviously. I think he said it. I, I don't think he believes that one because he's subscribed to your thing.

[01:42:13] He said it's inevitable. Well, yeah, what the hell? But you know what? What you're misunderstanding is, like, I agree 100% with all the stuff you guys are saying. 

[01:42:20] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:42:21] Denis: Or almost 

[01:42:21] Eldar: all. 

[01:42:22] Denis: Yeah. But I just feel like there's a difference between in the lab versus out there. 

[01:42:28] Eldar: Yeah, I think that- And- ... when you take life like you take life, mathematically- No

[01:42:32] I agree. What, what, what- You're trying to fucking 

[01:42:34] stuff a triangle 

[01:42:34] into a fucking circle or peg, 

[01:42:36] you know what I mean? Like- What, what, what are the, what are all the UFC fighters say? What's the, what, what's the easiest part about everything? 

[01:42:42] The 

[01:42:42] Mike: training. Uh, I mean, the fight is 

[01:42:43] Eldar: the easiest part. The fight is the easiest part.

[01:42:44] The fight is the easiest part. They're like- Yeah ... they're like, "It's easy," because they they say, "Hey- I'm prepped ... I know I did the right thing." That's right. "I ate, I did the right diet." Yeah. "I trained correctly. I did the right weight cut." That's right. "So the fight is the easiest part." 

[01:42:55] Denis: What is, what is the other thing that they- It's like they can't wait to fight

[01:42:57] what is the other thing that they also say? Maybe you've heard that one. They say, uh- The girl is gonna come ... "No, no training camp will ever simulate the real fight," right? I know you heard that 

[01:43:05] Mike: one too, right? I never heard that. 

[01:43:06] Eldar: I never heard 

[01:43:06] Mike: that 

[01:43:06] Denis: one. Come on, bro. You're gonna, you're gonna front? 

[01:43:08] Eldar: I did 

[01:43:09] Denis: hear- Yes or no?

[01:43:09] I did hear- Do they say that or no? I did hear, "

[01:43:11] Mike: Everything changes 

[01:43:12] Denis: when you get punched 

[01:43:12] Eldar: in the face." Well- 

[01:43:13] No, I, 

[01:43:14] Denis: I, I have heard- Do they not? We're talking UFC ... 

[01:43:16] Eldar: not as much as what they say, what 

[01:43:17] Denis: Toliy just said. Time out, time out, time out. Yeah. Yo, don't front. Come on, bro. We, we wa- we watch the same UFC inmates.

[01:43:21] Yeah, sure. Do they not also... You, they do s- They say this ... again, you see? I'm

[01:43:26] never disagreeing. But at the same time, as many cats that say that, there's plenty of cats- Yeah ... that also say, like, "No matter how many simulations we do here- Once we get out there, it's a different it's, you know- Well, 

[01:43:38] Eldar: I think just like- That's 

[01:43:38] Denis: it. It's 

[01:43:39] Eldar: just me and 

[01:43:40] Denis: you in the cage ... I, 

[01:43:40] Eldar: I, I think they're they're r- referring to probably that, like, the, uh, sparrings and all that is not gonna be...

[01:43:45] Like, they're not going as hard 

[01:43:47] on 

[01:43:47] that 

[01:43:47] one or like- 

[01:43:47] Like, number one, 

[01:43:48] sparring. It's a, number two, it's a different person you're fighting. 

[01:43:50] Yeah. 

[01:43:50] You- 

[01:43:51] Yeah ... 

[01:43:51] you're mimicking the person- Yeah, 

[01:43:52] that ... in the 

[01:43:53] sparring. 

[01:43:53] But, but I think- Yes ... in life, like, the actual, like- That's- ... main event of everything is easy when you prepare properly and when you do the right things.

[01:44:00] I agree 100%. And it's always hard. Again, like, the test is always hard when you know you didn't study. Yeah. You know you didn't review this, you know you didn't fill out that. But if you did everything correctly, then sure, no problem. Yeah. Right? Just don't stay in training camp for- For a forever, right?

[01:44:17] Well, you have to- That's what I always leaned to ... why do you say that? You could stay in training 

[01:44:20] Mike: camp 

[01:44:20] Eldar: all your life 

[01:44:21] Denis: if you need to. You can, you can. But my philosophy is not to, you know? And I think that's where it gets kind of, uh, hairy. 

[01:44:27] Mike: Well, I think- Yeah ... I think my previous relationship shows that you should've stayed in training camp a little bit.

[01:44:32] And I went- And I think- ... I practiced it ... yeah, and 

[01:44:33] Eldar: we talked 

[01:44:34] Mike: about 

[01:44:34] Denis: that ... and I- I think you were in training camp, I just don't know you were, you were just slacking off on the- 

[01:44:37] Mike: No, 

[01:44:38] Denis: I wasn't, bro ... on the sparring- I wasn't ... 'cause they were telling you ... it was, 

[01:44:40] Mike: it was... No, I don't think so. 

[01:44:41] Denis: Yeah. I don't know. I mean, listen, it's weird.

[01:44:44] Let bygones 

[01:44:44] Eldar: be bygones. 

[01:44:45] Mike: Yeah. Oh, my God. Let's just eat some pizza or something. 

[01:44:47] Denis: Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, it's, that's the, it's the classic tale of the tape, the- Well- ... learn on the job versus cut 1,000 times or whatever, or, or measure 1,000 times. Measure once. I, I... You know, like, there is no- Measure 

[01:45:01] Katherine: twice, cut 

[01:45:01] Denis: once

[01:45:01] there's no pa- like- 

[01:45:03] Katherine: Oh, wait ... 

[01:45:03] Denis: there's no part of me that says, "No, that's stupid." It's just, there is a big part of me that says, "Oh," you know? Like, life is life. You know what I mean? And, and and you can only prepare so long- Yeah, but I, I think- ... and then life is out there ... no, but I think- You know what I mean?

[01:45:18] And, like- 

[01:45:18] Eldar: I think, and I think I'm saying this, that, because I just think it's, like, the, uh, truth. I think in your situation, I think, has been a little bit different probably than, like, our situation in the sense that I feel like you never had, like, the right dojo to, 

[01:45:35] uh, to train in. He was never belonging to a 

[01:45:35] dojo.

[01:45:36] You know? You kinda were more, like- 

[01:45:38] No, he did. He, he, a lot of time he experimented while he was with us. I was here, bro. 

[01:45:43] I just came- No, no, I'm saying that- ... he did his own stuff ... no, no, I'm saying that, like, he, he didn't have, like, that, like, um I think he never allowed that team to, to, like to, like, help train him and, and, like, do that- Oh, like, 

[01:45:53] like, 

[01:45:53] um-

[01:45:54] in that kinda way ... in 

[01:45:54] an active 

[01:45:55] way So yeah, he more relied on himself and, like, like, it, it was just a studio with him. He, he's in it, he's a trainer, and he's, he's, like, the student. 

[01:46:04] Yeah. 

[01:46:04] You know? And I think it's different the, um... I think the way that you look at the training and what, what happens is different when you're surrounded by others that are more like, um like in our, I think, scenario.

[01:46:17] Yeah. Like, he always went back to himself. 

[01:46:20] But- Right? But to be fair, he always came back a lot of times. He said, "Eldar, you were right about that. I just needed a year to understand it." 

[01:46:26] Well, sure. 

[01:46:27] Or practice 

[01:46:27] it- Sure ... 

[01:46:27] and see it for- 

[01:46:28] Sure ... for what, what that was. But then, like, your obviously desire to stay, like, for example, in training or practice is less if you, you know, if you don't have a big team behind you in that same way.

[01:46:39] That's true, too. 

[01:46:40] Yeah. Like, I, I think it's only natural. Like, you you have to kind of go get your, uh, your, like, learning on the job is your feedback almost. Like, your- Maybe he's, maybe he's afraid of, "Don't get comfortable. 

[01:46:52] Don't get too 

[01:46:52] comfortable," I 

[01:46:53] guess. You know what I 

[01:46:54] Mike: mean? Yeah. In, in, in- I don't know if that's the comfort

[01:46:56] in 

[01:46:56] Eldar: your bubble or whatever. 

[01:46:57] Mike: Yeah. No, I think what we're saying is, what you guys are both saying is you have to find a balance 

[01:47:00] Eldar: between his and his. Well, well, yes, yes. Yeah. Yes, you see what you're saying? And that's 100% true. Don't get too comfortable in your- I agree with 

[01:47:03] Mike: that. Sure, yeah ... 

[01:47:04] Eldar: bubble. Yeah. That, yes.

[01:47:06] But that's the thing, is that when you're more alone in your own bubble- It's way more dangerous to get comfortable than, for example, in our bubble we have the scrutiny and the criticism and the feedback and the challenge of all of us more actively chall- challenging each other when, you know, m- more times I think than not, Dennis was alone in his bubble.

[01:47:28] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:47:29] You, uh- Well, I was in a different- ... 

[01:47:31] Eldar: I was here too, but- ... difference of belief 

[01:47:31] Denis: system. One is extreme to one side of the other ... uh, you, you, you pivoting too much to the, to go back to this main thing I thought about, like

[01:47:41] He said it, the, the right thing here. It's about finding the balance. Because again, we- I don't think you disagree with what I'm saying. No. And I don't disagree with what you're saying. 

[01:47:48] Eldar: I am disagreeing with one specific thing, though. Premature force into the real world causes casualties and 

[01:47:56] Denis: can- It can, absolutely.

[01:47:57] Eldar: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. But like- So, so, uh, so what I'm saying is that, like, if you see it, pat it. 

[01:48:02] Denis: Look, I... Is it m- uh- 

[01:48:04] Eldar: But you, if you don't see it, you have to go. I, I agree. That's why I think that, I think that you might not know, but the more you think about this kind of stuff, the more time and lag you give yourself to think it through before you commit something.

[01:48:19] There's 

[01:48:20] a lot of that, and it's a lot- Well, I just think it's it's also a lot different when, like, you feel that you have that team and that love behind you. When you're not alone. Because you get the blessing also. Yes. That, like, again, to me, like, yes I think that Dan is like, you know, obviously he would hear feedback or, like, stuff like that.

[01:48:36] But I think many times he always came back to himself, and he was by himself, feel- feeling by himself in that scenario at those times. Because he, he, 

[01:48:46] Denis: because he disagreed. 

[01:48:47] Eldar: Yes. Okay. That happened many, many times. 

[01:48:50] Denis: Look, I think- You know? ... that aside, I think there's also a lot to say about, I, I I really think about this a lot, is momentum in life.

[01:48:58] Eldar: Oh. 

[01:48:58] Denis: And I think that's very powerful, too. So, like, even momentum that you don't really fully in the moment understand, right? Because again, your guys' whole thing is about kind of being really fully conscious of every moment. But some moments just, for example, use you as an example. You forced me to go to Vladimir Mcgray.

[01:49:16] Eldar: What do you mean forced? 

[01:49:17] Denis: You forced me. 

[01:49:18] Eldar: How 

[01:49:18] Denis: is that? I did not wanna go. You for- you're like, "Bro, come on, like, he's coming," blah, blah, blah. Like, it was, it was a Saturday, I remember. I was wearing a black T-shirt. 

[01:49:25] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:49:25] Denis: I remember everything about this. I'm like, "Bro, like, I don't wanna go." Like, like, "Come on, bro.

[01:49:29] Come..." It was like Thirsty Thursday kind of a thing. Like, "Come on, Serge is waiting," blah, blah, blah. "We gotta do it." We go over there, we drive over in your Nissan Leaf. We get over there. 

[01:49:37] Eldar: Okay. 

[01:49:37] Denis: I did not wanna be... I didn't g- I didn't read the book. I read maybe two chapters. I liked it. It was cool, you know, on the surface.

[01:49:43] But, like, I ain't, I wasn't in that zone. 

[01:49:45] I meet Ida there. I can make the case that I went through a lot of hurt learning on the job through Ida. But if you never get me there- 

[01:49:56] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:49:57] Denis: I never meet Ida. One version of that is I don't do a lot of suffering with, like, getting married the first time and all this crazy, and all this stuff of, like, you- Yeah

[01:50:06] remember when... Chopping the wood and you're like, "Yeah, remember when I told you not to do that?" Blah, blah, blah. 

[01:50:10] Mm-hmm 

[01:50:12] But I did meet her, and yes, there is, there was a lot of side effects, a lot of learning on the job, a lot of BS, a lot of stuff. But then you look at that, you zoom out later and you look at the life like of the life lived, and it's like, wow, through you I met her, but through her I went into a cult.

[01:50:28] And then you could also say fork in the road. Like you know, like because of her, she's like, "Yo, I got this guru. He's fucking phenomenal." You know what I mean? Yeah. And then my boys is looking like, "Yo, you're trying to move coconuts with your fucking wiener." You know what I mean? Exactly. What's going on here?

[01:50:42] Puts me in a cult. You can also then look, ah, you see like, you know, like- Yeah ... there's, 

[01:50:46] Katherine: there's very- Dennis, you should have stayed in this cult not 

[01:50:49] Denis: the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where the Chinese- Can't keep jumping around from one cult to another Can't go. Yeah, I can't resist the... Long story short, uh- Sh- you brought me her, she brought me Nityananda, and I could be looking at like, bl- like learning on the job.

[01:51:01] Like, he's lo- ... You guys were looking at me like I'm retarded with the Nityananda stuff. Yo, I can see. But we accepted 

[01:51:07] Eldar: you. 

[01:51:07] Denis: You d- you did respect. We did. You always respected. That's what I- We did ... remember I said that on the first one. Even when you were wearing the beads on your neck. But, but, but a lot of learning on the job.

[01:51:14] In the moment, it's like, "Yo, my man, what are you doing?" You know what I mean? Yeah. But in hindsight, then you look back, like even in just the timeline of how, maybe I'll s- use the word beautiful the mo- the momentum of life goes, it's like it flowed, but then that cult, I make a cult survivors group that you guys join.

[01:51:30] Remember Nityananda cult survivors Facebook group? Yes. Mm-hmm. 

[01:51:32] Katherine: Oh my gosh. 

[01:51:33] Denis: Asli 

[01:51:34] Katherine: joins that group. Isn't that how you met Asli? 

[01:51:35] Denis: Asli joins this group because her friend- Oh my gosh ... is in the cult with me, and I don't know him. 

[01:51:39] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:51:40] Denis: She doesn't fuck with Nityananda, but she's like, "Yo," he's like, "Yo, you gotta join this.

[01:51:43] Some kid made this." Yeah. Like, they're figuring out that this is a cult, and she's like, "All right, I'll check it out," 'cause she's always been curious. Yeah. She sees me in there, and then we message each other because of that, and now we fall in love. Now we got a kid. Now we got a family. Now all this stuff.

[01:51:54] So it 

[01:51:54] Katherine: was all 

[01:51:55] Denis: meant to happen. Like, you look at it- I- 

[01:51:56] Eldar: so you're gonna thank me now? 

[01:51:58] Denis: Of course. I always give you mozzie. Uh- 

[01:52:00] Eldar: Hey, I was the first, the mover. 

[01:52:02] Denis: But you see, and I, I know I'm kind of, uh, going on a tangent a little bit, but it's just, it, y- you know, like, like life happens in that, i- in that. You know what I mean?

[01:52:10] Like, if I like I prob- there was probably a lot of it where it's like, "Yo, my man, like, like you should have thought about that a little longer." You know what I mean? Yeah. But then you look at it and it's like, yeah, there's some battle scars, but it's a beautiful... It flows. You know what I mean?

[01:52:23] And you learn through that momentum of it's not just learning on the job to just hit your head. It's the, it's the learning and getting a little better and fine-tuning, and yes, actually still learning, right? It's very important. But, like, you're not gonna learn everything, bro. You're you're gonna, you're gonna make the mistakes.

[01:52:38] You're gonna fall victim to your, to your pride, to your ego, to your desires. But that's the journey of life, and your only hope, at least in my perspective, is that you do learn enough on it where you can you can make the adjustments and still try to do the right thing and, and, and, and love people and care for them and not be a s- a, a, a sh- a shitty person and such.

[01:52:57] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:52:58] Denis: But there's a lot of, like, a lot of beauty in that- 

[01:53:02] Eldar: Chaos ... 

[01:53:03] Denis: chaos that you guys... You know what I mean? 

[01:53:05] Eldar: I hear you. That, that we, what? We, our 

[01:53:07] Denis: boy? Yeah. No, that you, you, you saying that I'm, you know, a dummy for, but- What do you think, Tolya? So yeah. Don't, let Toliy speak right now. He's about to bury you.

[01:53:17] You know? 

[01:53:18] Eldar: Uh. 

[01:53:18] Denis: I don't know. You want me tea or 

[01:53:22] Eldar: no? No. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I mean, like, I, like, yeah, I, I, I just actually think that our dynamics and the way that, like, we did things was fundamentally different. And, um, yeah, I think it's different. I think that because I think that, you know we just chose, I think, to be more as, like, a group, um- Yeah, I think that, like, we, we just move different in that kind of way, but it's only because of the support system. But yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think it's different in in, in your case, I do think that you were more, like, a l- a like, for you you at least felt like you, you did not let others to battle with you during a lot of things.

[01:54:10] Yeah, for 

[01:54:10] Denis: sure. I had a lot of problems 

[01:54:11] Eldar: with that, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think the only time you, you let people in, baby, is when you were, like, 

[01:54:16] Denis: I don't know, rock 

[01:54:17] Eldar: bottom. It, 

[01:54:17] Denis: yeah, but you also, you know- You know? T, it's also a lot of the stuff, like you you s- Like, I went to him in private a lot. 

[01:54:24] Yeah.

[01:54:24] Like, I did the Mike thing where it's, like, almost like, "Hey, don't go on that flight." You know what I mean? Like, "You know what's gonna happen there," right? Yeah, mm-hmm. I did that, like, with the Ida thing, all this stuff. Like, y- you know, a lot of it, and, and so I did come for counsel. I wasn't just like- No, no, yeah

[01:54:39] you're painting it as if I just, I was coming 

[01:54:40] Eldar: for counsel. No, no, I'm not painting it that. You know what I mean? I'm, I'm just saying that I, I still feel that you didn't feel like you had you didn't have enough people in your corner, so you were always the person, like, fending off- 

[01:54:51] Denis: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[01:54:52] I have a, I have a complex with that ... for yourself. In a group setting, yeah. I got a complex for that. Yeah. 100%, 

[01:54:54] Eldar: yeah. 

[01:54:56] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:54:57] Eldar: Yeah. Like- 

[01:54:58] Denis: Yeah ... that probably plays a role, of course, yeah. 

[01:54:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:55:00] Yeah. For sure. Like, it, I think it was difficult for you to allow- Are you excited to bully, bully new, the newcomers? 

[01:55:04] Denis: N- no, I'm just, you know- Well, we could 

[01:55:06] Eldar: do it together

[01:55:07] Denis: I'm an old dog, bro. You know? I'm wounded out in there, you know? 

[01:55:09] Eldar: Oh, you, you see this guy? You gotta love it. This guy has a, a, lost a fucking, a lick of energy, yo. 

[01:55:14] Denis: Yeah, no, yeah. I don't know, man. Listen, the main thing is to circle back to, to Big Mike. Oh, yeah, circle back. You know what I mean? Like I, you know- Yeah.

[01:55:20] No, 

[01:55:20] Mike: I'm not Big Mike anymore, man. 

[01:55:21] Denis: I think actually with what I was saying- Big Wheels, I'm Big Wheels 

[01:55:24] Mike: now. 

[01:55:24] Denis: Yeah, Medium Mike. 

[01:55:25] Mike: Big Wheels. 

[01:55:26] Denis: Is I'm actually in a different way saying what, what you... Yeah. W- his, you know, what T said, is that like, yeah, for sure, you gotta have, like, a healthy d- dose of caution. And, and be, be humble about it.

[01:55:37] 'Cause yeah, it, it, you know, there's a lot to, a lot to it, especially loving another human being, caring for them, accepting them. Yeah. I, I also, you know what, I think I also got a l- you know, like part of that whole tangent was, like, I feel like I got, like, a little lucky you know? And then like, like I can't say...

[01:55:54] I genuinely have an amazing partner who genuinely, like, just, like, accepts the hell out of me, you know what I mean? 

[01:56:00] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:56:01] Denis: Like, anybody else would be like, "Yo." 

[01:56:03] Eldar: Enough. "

[01:56:03] Denis: Enough of this guy." And, like- ... you get a little lucky in life, a little momentum, you know? Like, not to say... Like, I know lucky, lucky is probably, like, a voodoo term around here with the philosopher kings, but like-

[01:56:14] you know, like, the momentum of life. Like, I learned- Yeah ... she, she got to see that, like, yo, this cat is, like, a little dumb, you know what I mean? But, like, he loves hard, and he has my back, and, like, you know, some of his flaws that, like, yeah, another cat that was sh- shaped and polished- 

[01:56:29] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:56:29] Denis: for 37,000 years wouldn't have had.

[01:56:32] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:56:33] Denis: But, you know, you, you know, like, you find the right people also to, like, you know? I don't know. What the fuck do I know, right? 

[01:56:41] Eldar: No, I, I think it's a good point. No, you don't. No, I do. I actually do. I actually do. I think that everything you said, yeah, I mean, all of it's probably balanced. But yeah, um, fuck me, when it comes to Mike, at least, you gotta just carry this, all this knowledge, and from all the different things and applications that you need to now apply, you just need to carefully choose the right one to apply in the- Of 

[01:57:01] course, 

[01:57:01] yeah

[01:57:01] in the moments that, you know, that are- Yeah ... called for. Of course. You know? And obviously you know that the best way to do that is to start by actually paying attention to what the fuck is going on. Yeah. Actually listening actively- 

[01:57:13] Mike: Mm-hmm ... 

[01:57:13] Eldar: not passively. 

[01:57:14] Mike: Yes 

[01:57:14] Eldar: Asking questions- Asking questions ... to make sure you communicate properly.

[01:57:18] And then you will be able to communicate the right application of, uh whatever that situation calls for. Correct. If right now it's calling for patience, you apply patience. 

[01:57:29] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:57:30] Eldar: Uh, if something's calling for acceptance, you apply acceptance, right? Um- I'd be careful trying to apply hip acceptance where- 

[01:57:40] Mike: Something else is necessary.

[01:57:42] Eldar: Correct. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you don't wanna do the James- Push back the ego ... you don't wanna do the James thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I agree. I know James is listening, but a lot of times- Yeah ... the woo woo shit, you know what I'm saying? Woo. Uh, sometimes you have to say no, and- Yeah ... no has to mean no. I 

[01:57:53] Denis: agree.

[01:57:53] Yeah. Oh, those are tough. Those are bitter sometimes. 

[01:57:57] Eldar: Yeah. Bitter sweet. Yeah, somet- yeah, sometimes they're- They're the 

[01:57:59] Denis: right thing, but, like- Of course ... they're bitter sweet. 

[01:58:01] Eldar: Of course. Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:58:02] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:58:02] Eldar: So, and, and that's what I think that the ch- that's where the challenge probably is gonna lay in the m- more than anything, to d- Yeah

[01:58:07] to know how to apply- The right 

[01:58:08] Mike: application at the 

[01:58:10] Eldar: right time- Right application at the right time ... for the right situation. Yeah, right situation. Yeah. No, 

[01:58:11] Mike: I agree with that. 

[01:58:12] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:58:12] Mike: Yeah. Because if I do something like that with myself- 

[01:58:16] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[01:58:16] Mike: I know I can be, I can, you know, I can come here and, you know, and get some understanding.

[01:58:22] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:58:23] Mike: And it won't be so bad, but there's an- the other person who's at st- uh, on the line, like their feelings, the emotions- 

[01:58:28] Eldar: Yeah ... the 

[01:58:28] Mike: relationship. 

[01:58:29] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:58:31] Yeah, but see, the 

[01:58:32] Mike: only 

[01:58:32] Eldar: way to apply that, to actually properly apply that, is if you don't have attachment to the outcome. 

[01:58:38] I agree with this, too. This definitely helps- That's the only way it's possible

[01:58:40] a lot. And I think Mike already has- Yeah ... already felt this. 'Cause you can't say no if you really want something. That's right. For example. That's right. How are you gonna, uh, how are you gonna stand on that? That's right. Well, Dennis maybe can enlighten you on that one. 

[01:58:52] Denis: Problem is h- not having attachment to when you really love a person romantically, that's a tough one, yeah. 

[01:59:00] That's not an easy task. 

[01:59:01] Eldar: We'll talk about it off air, don't worry. 

[01:59:03] Denis: Yeah, we'll, we'll have our private session- 

[01:59:05] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:59:05] Denis: Yeah ... about 

[01:59:06] Eldar: your dirty little secrets. Yeah. 

[01:59:07] Denis: Yeah. 

[01:59:10] Eldar: He's reflected on them now. 

[01:59:13] Mike: Dirty little what? 

[01:59:13] Eldar: Yeah, dirty little secrets. Dirty 

[01:59:15] Mike: little secrets. Yeah. 

[01:59:17] Eldar: Holy fuck. Yeah. Atta- yeah, yeah.

[01:59:22] Attachment. Again, comes back all the way around back to that, that like- Yeah ... to apply to all those things properly at the right time, you know, could be very difficult if you have attachments- Of course. 

[01:59:32] Mike: Of course ... and outcomes. Yeah. 

[01:59:32] Eldar: If you have a horse in the 

[01:59:33] Mike: race- See things objectively- Yeah ... and give objectively correct advice- Yeah

[01:59:36] Eldar: or- Yeah ... 

[01:59:37] Mike: maybe not. Knowing what's right, right, right, uh, right call for the situation is. 

[01:59:41] Eldar: Yeah. Yeah. 

[01:59:43] Mike: Yeah. 

[01:59:44] Eldar: And that's probably the hi- that's when you probably hold yourself to the highest regard. 

[01:59:49] Mike: Yes, you have to be the best philosopher. 

[01:59:51] Eldar: King. King. Yes. That ever lived. 

[01:59:54] Mike: Ever lived. 

[01:59:54] Eldar: Yeah. 

[01:59:55] Mike: In that 

[01:59:55] Eldar: moment.

[01:59:55] Yeah. And that's, I think, where you probably will shape yourself and your destiny for all these years to come. 

[02:00:02] Mike: Mm-hmm. 

[02:00:03] Eldar: With those decisions. 

[02:00:04] Mike: Yeah. 

[02:00:04] Eldar: Because as you can see, I'm 17 years with my boo. I don't know why I wanted to use that thing. I'm like pandering to Dennis. What do you usually- Pandering?

[02:00:15] Boo thang or boo... No, no. No, 

[02:00:18] Katherine: I feel like it would be like a baby girl. 

[02:00:19] Eldar: Baby. Oh, baby girl. Baby girl. Baby girl. Baby girl. That's it. That, that's what I was looking for, damn it. Mm. 

[02:00:22] Katherine: Yeah. 

[02:00:23] Eldar: Yeah. Or no, shorty. Shorty? Shorty, yeah. 

[02:00:25] Katherine: Oh, shorty. 

[02:00:26] Eldar: Shorty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can mix it up, you know. Yeah, yeah. Mix it up. What about, I'll go UK.

[02:00:29] I've been with my bird- 

[02:00:30] Denis: Bird. 

[02:00:31] Katherine: No, I don't 

[02:00:32] Eldar: like 

[02:00:32] Katherine: that one. 

[02:00:33] Eldar: For 17 years. That's 

[02:00:35] Denis: what they call it, bird? 

[02:00:36] Eldar: Bird, yeah. 

[02:00:36] Katherine: My bird. But- But it's almost 18. We're closer to 18 at this point ... we're 

[02:00:40] Eldar: almost closer to 18. Few months. And you know, it's, it's soft, it's calm now, it's, but it's there. You know what I mean? Babe.

[02:00:49] Aw. Ew. 

[02:00:49] He 

[02:00:50] Katherine: hates 

[02:00:50] Eldar: this thing. 

[02:00:51] I hate when they do that love thing. I like, I like this one now going forward. 

[02:00:54] Katherine: That, where did you get this 

[02:00:56] Eldar: from? The casino. At the casino. The casino. The guy was playing baccarat and- This 

[02:00:59] Katherine: is from Love Island where they're doing- Baccarat ... like the heart thing Yeah, yeah. Where- 

[02:01:03] Mike: Baccarat.

[02:01:03] Denis: Baccarat. 

[02:01:04] Eldar: All right, so a- almost 18 years together, Mike. 

[02:01:08] Mike: Yeah. 

[02:01:08] Eldar: And the most meat and potatoes, the guidance of it all s- happened in the first year probably. 

[02:01:14] Katherine: Yeah. 

[02:01:14] Eldar: Where the established, uh, ground was there. This is it, this is who we are, this is what we're doing, and let's do it together. And she signed up, raised her hand, signed up, and that's why we're still here- 

[02:01:26] Denis: Mm-hmm

[02:01:26] Eldar: uh, 18 years almost later. 

[02:01:28] Denis: Yeah. 

[02:01:28] Eldar: And we still fuck with each other. You know what I mean? And anytime if we don't, I mean, it's a crazy hole. 

[02:01:36] Denis: Yeah. 

[02:01:36] Eldar: It hurts too much, and w- without it is- It's like you can't live without that. 

[02:01:42] Katherine: Yeah. 

[02:01:42] Eldar: You really can't live without that. It's 

[02:01:44] Katherine: rough. Yeah. 

[02:01:45] Eldar: Uh, it's very rough. Um- It's cold out there.

[02:01:47] That's why those two pe- those two people become what? Extremely sensitive to that specific pain. Oh, 

[02:01:54] Denis: man. 

[02:01:54] Katherine: Oh, yeah. 

[02:01:55] Denis: It's like, oh, man. Don't get me started on that. Okay. You get a couple hours in the dark. 

[02:02:00] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:02:00] Denis: You know what I'm talking about? And it's like cold shoulder. Mm. Yeah. Even if it's a couple hours, it's like you just- 

[02:02:05] Eldar: Yeah

[02:02:05] Denis: it's the worst. It's the worst. Yes. You just wanna get, you wanna go back to love immediately. Oh. Immediately. Yeah. 

[02:02:11] Eldar: It's 

[02:02:11] Katherine: torture. That's- 

[02:02:12] Eldar: It's torture ... and I think that the smarter you get in a relationship, you start understanding that like, oh, we know that place. 

[02:02:18] Denis: Make it sh- 

[02:02:19] Eldar: shorter, right? You shorten the distance- Mm-hmm

[02:02:21] uh, within that. Yeah. And then sooner or later, you're smart enough to know which buttons press it in order not to go there, not to go there. You know the guard rails already for yourself. And- When I say yourself, I'm only talking about the ego 

[02:02:34] Katherine: Yeah 

[02:02:35] Eldar: It's your ego, it's your pride- 

[02:02:36] Katherine: Usually, 

[02:02:37] Eldar: yeah ... it's your fear, it's all the things that actually are the weeds to your garden of love.

[02:02:43] Damn, this is poetic, son. 

[02:02:44] Katherine: Mm-hmm. 

[02:02:45] Eldar: Say a little chant. Wow. But y- y- you inspire me, myself. 

[02:02:48] Katherine: Wow. 

[02:02:48] Eldar: But yes, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So hopefully, you know, you're on that journey. This is the task at hand, and obviously I, I wish that everyone, for everyone. 

[02:02:58] Katherine: Are you archie signing over there?

[02:03:00] Eldar: Nina. Yeah. Cool beans.

[02:03:09] Katherine: Weirdo. 

[02:03:10] Eldar: Yeah, I just got all these random things today. I was like, uh emo, emoting today. Yeah, 

[02:03:14] Katherine: today 

[02:03:15] Eldar: you- I'm emoting, right? Yeah, you're definitely, uh- 

[02:03:16] Katherine: Maybe it's because I 

[02:03:17] Eldar: took a little bit of T. 

[02:03:17] Katherine: You're stimming. Ah. Did 

[02:03:20] Eldar: you actually or no? 

[02:03:23] Only if Dennis asks me. 

[02:03:24] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[02:03:24] Eldar: I answer that. Um. 

[02:03:27] Denis: Yeah.

[02:03:32] Eldar: Yeah. So where, all right, so where were we? Do we do final thoughts or- 

[02:03:37] Denis: You, you, how about your final thoughts? I mean, you just- Give yours ... you just 

[02:03:40] Eldar: miked out those. I thought, I, I, I just thought thinking just final thoughts- You just, you just did it ... I just final thoughts your thoughts, man. 

[02:03:45] Denis: Yeah. I ain't got no 

[02:03:46] Eldar: thoughts.

[02:03:47] No, no, you agree with me. You understand that fucking dark place. Yeah. You understand it. That I agree with. Yeah, yeah. You understand it. And the truth of the matter is you understand the other side, too. The more you invest into that, if you are smart enough, you know what you do, and what you get back is the person who's accepting, loving, caring.

[02:04:02] It's the mirror of your, your true actions, of who you actually are. That person will be the mirror as soon as they raise their hand, and I think Catherine is my mirror, and hopefully I'm hers, and what is it? Ooh. I'm figuring it out. Ooh. 

[02:04:15] Yeah, I like that. That's a little cuter, yes. See, 

[02:04:18] Denis: close your eyes 

[02:04:18] Eldar: too.

[02:04:18] Denis: Yeah. 

[02:04:20] Eldar: Yeah. This is rated R talk, Toliy. Put your m- put the earmuffs back on. Yeah. Listen, I think that these topics on love, it's always like those are the probably the best, my favorite topics. Yeah. You know, we have a lot of them. 

[02:04:33] Denis: Mm-hmm. 

[02:04:33] Eldar: Um, but the reason why we're here now is because of the fact that all the other topics that we talked about led us to this point.

[02:04:40] Yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. I think that's the goal of it all, what's next? Oh, I mean, you know, togetherness and actualization of together now, you know? Seeing that and being that in that permanent state for a long period of time- 

[02:04:58] Without interruptions- 

[02:04:59] Mike: Yeah ... 

[02:05:00] Eldar: or learning on the jobs.

[02:05:01] You know what I mean? Yeah. So yeah, I wish that for you, Mike. Minimize those moments. You know what I mean? I think that you know. I think you know. I think you're getting an idea what you're up against. Yeah. You know? And obviously, when you hit those dark moments, which you will, we'll be there for you. 

[02:05:15] Katherine: Mm-hmm.

[02:05:15] Eldar: Especially Toliy Bear. I know, Toliy Bear. 

[02:05:18] Katherine: Brother Toliy. 

[02:05:19] Mike: Let 

[02:05:19] Katherine: me... Yeah. I back that, babe. Let me get that guy in the group. Yeah. Well said. 

[02:05:22] Eldar: Yeah. I back that. 

[02:05:22] Katherine: You 

[02:05:23] Eldar: back that, babe? I back that. Two X that? 

[02:05:24] Katherine: Two X. 

[02:05:25] Eldar: All right, there 

[02:05:26] Katherine: you go. Back it, all right. And you can put this 

[02:05:26] Eldar: one on there. Uh, let's do Toliy- I back that

[02:05:28] then we'll do Mike, and then we'll cap it off with our, our brother D. Toliy. 

[02:05:35] Ow. Uh- 

[02:05:36] What are your final thoughts on this? 

[02:05:37] Yeah, I don't know. I feel 

[02:05:38] like I said everything. 'Cause you brought this, you brought this saga up. You brought this fucking drama. 

[02:05:42] Why? 

[02:05:43] Well, no, I thought, I, I thought you, your challenges were good.

[02:05:45] Your challenge is a direct challenge to Mike. Like, let's fucking see. 

[02:05:50] Oh, yeah. 

[02:05:51] Let's see. 

[02:05:51] 100%. Yeah, I mean... 

[02:05:54] You know what I'm saying? Let's see if you can balance this whole fucking thing out, and pass that on- Yeah ... potentially to a different, to another person who's a, maybe a little bit more lost and wet in the cave.

[02:06:04] Mike: Yeah. Sometimes you gotta... When you go driving, you have to crash into a couple cars. It's okay. Yeah, 

[02:06:09] Eldar: yeah. 

[02:06:09] Mike: As long as you get on the straight path eventually. 

[02:06:12] Denis: Yeah, yeah. That's it. Final thoughts. Yeah. It's like you have to drive and- You took them, you took them right out 

[02:06:18] Eldar: of my mouth ... crash into a couple of cars.

[02:06:20] My final thoughts right out of my mouth. Yeah, no, I don't... I mean, I don't know what, what, what final thoughts to say, but, Yeah. 

[02:06:34] Well, let's- That's wonderful ... if we, we'll get back to you, because a lot of time you're worth it. Yeah. Right now, we have Dennis, who's beaming, with final thoughts.

[02:06:40] But I'm gonna keep my promise and go to Mike first.

[02:06:45] Mike: Final thoughts from- Yeah ... from from myself? 

[02:06:48] Eldar: Uh, yeah. 

[02:06:49] Mike: I mean, on the, on 

[02:06:50] Eldar: the top. It's coming. 

[02:06:50] Mike: It's coming. 

[02:06:50] Eldar: Well, it's not, it's not for yourself, but it's 

[02:06:51] Mike: like- Oh, on the topic? ... in general. Give us the general take. 

[02:06:53] Denis: Yeah, sure. What's incubated Mike think about- 

[02:06:56] Out there Mike's new journey? 

[02:06:58] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. There is no out there.

[02:07:01] Mm-hmm. No. He, 

[02:07:02] Denis: he, hit me with it, 

[02:07:03] Mike: guys. I, I got the j- j- J for you. It is all 

[02:07:06] Eldar: here right now. 

[02:07:07] Mike: Yeah. Just be in the present. 

[02:07:08] Eldar: Yes. 

[02:07:11] Mike: Yeah. We're, we're sending you off to a cave. 

[02:07:15] Yeah. 

[02:07:16] Eldar: Dennis sending you off to a clear cave- 

[02:07:17] Mike: Yeah ... 

[02:07:18] Eldar: to get another one out for us. 

[02:07:20] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. 

[02:07:22] Denis: I 

[02:07:22] Eldar: mean- Do you have enough light? 

[02:07:23] Denis: Why you gotta call it a clear cave?

[02:07:25] What does that mean? 

[02:07:26] Eldar: Mm. It's, you know, this is the metaphor, no? Yeah. This is the proper metaphor. It's the allegory. This the allegory of the cave. Yeah. This is. Right? There's potentially a, a lost person out there. 

[02:07:34] Denis: Yeah. What if, what if the curveball in it is that she actually knows more than him? You 

[02:07:38] Eldar: crazy, bro.

[02:07:39] Oh, my 

[02:07:39] Denis: God. You're crazy? Yeah. 

[02:07:41] Eldar: I mean, she does- Mm ... but she's not there yet 

[02:07:45] Denis: Well, for the purpose of the fact that she's listening to this, I'm gonna- ... not continue with that 

[02:07:53] Eldar: banter with you. Look, look, I, may- maybe, may- look, I could be wrong. I'm not sure what percent, w- how much fraction of a percent I'm wrong about this one.

[02:08:01] But I could be wrong, so I'm gonna leave that in there, but it's just I back myself and I back the group, and I back my friends, obviously. Not because they're my friends, I hope. Because, no, because actually my friends were, a lot of times, with me, my enemies in this journey until we got on the same page, and a lot of times we were on the same page.

[02:08:23] That's why I back them now. What now, 

[02:08:26] Denis: son? Yo, my bad. Sorry. 

[02:08:27] Eldar: Yeah, that's how I feel. 

[02:08:29] Mike: Yeah. W- like, we obviously spoke, uh, we've been spending a lot of time together. We spoke about many different topics, mm-hmm. Things that are important to me, things that are important to her. 

[02:08:39] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:08:40] Mike: Life, how it, you know, it looks.

[02:08:42] And obviously I have an idea of how I'd like my life to look, and obviously I know the importance of this. This is my base. This is, like, what got me here. 

[02:08:51] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:08:52] Mike: Uh, this is what's gonna keep me where I wanna be. This is, um, to, to forever to be in love, to stay in love, there's no other way without constantly putting yourself on the chopping block allowing to be examined, examining yourself. So I think that's, that, that's extremely important to me- and I think that's extremely important to living a good life. 

[02:09:22] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:09:22] Mike: I believe that. And if I can share that life with somebody else that understands that and values that and also, like, fits in, and I'm not sure, like, uh, not sees the value, but also fucks with it- Yeah

[02:09:40] that's great. 

[02:09:41] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:09:41] Mike: Then we can share a crazy amazing life together. 

[02:09:43] Eldar: Exactly. '

[02:09:44] Mike: Cause that's, I already like- And- I already feel like my life is crazy. 

[02:09:47] Eldar: Yeah 

[02:09:48] Mike: Like, good. I don't know how much better it can get. Obviously falling in love and that, it, it's- Yeah ... but already to the level that we live the things that we do, how we do things, how we enjoy our lives on a daily.

[02:09:59] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:10:00] Mike: The ability and the freedom to sit and talk about the most important things- 

[02:10:03] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[02:10:03] Mike: out there- 

[02:10:04] Eldar: Yeah ... 

[02:10:04] Mike: at any given moment because we all value it, I don't know who's doing that. I'm not, I don't wanna be arrogant, but- 

[02:10:10] Denis: Yeah ... 

[02:10:10] Mike: I don't think 

[02:10:11] Eldar: there's a lot of- Some people still have, uh, schedules, time cards- 

[02:10:13] Mike: Yeah

[02:10:13] Eldar: and nine to fives. 

[02:10:14] Mike: Yes. That's right. I don't think a lot of people are doing that. And because I have- I think we were 

[02:10:18] Denis: both waiting, like, for, like, the punchline on me, and it didn't come- ... and we're 

[02:10:21] Mike: kinda confused. 

[02:10:22] Denis: I think 

[02:10:22] Mike: that 

[02:10:23] Denis: was the punchline. That little 

[02:10:24] Eldar: rant. Yeah. 

[02:10:26] Mike: Yeah. So I think, uh- I think that's amazing.

[02:10:34] You know, already life is amazing for me, and I have I have a lot to give. 

[02:10:38] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:10:38] Mike: And that's because I have a... Because of what I have, because of the way my life is cur- is shaped. I may have problems like, you know- my family thing, living with them, right? Mm-hmm. That's a big thing. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life that led me to this point- Mm

[02:10:53] where maybe I don't have everything figured out. Maybe I don't have a house. Maybe I don't have- ... Uh, millions in the bank. 

[02:11:00] Eldar: But you have plenty of places to stay. 

[02:11:01] Mike: But I have plenty of places to stay, yes. 

[02:11:05] Katherine: What's going on with you? 

[02:11:06] Mike: But, 

[02:11:07] Denis: but those things are- They're rampaging today, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's- You know the different modes of him

[02:11:12] something's 

[02:11:12] Eldar: going on. But To- Toliy is very happy because now a lot of the heat's gonna go off of him. Yeah. For you. So- 

[02:11:17] Denis: I don't really hear it, like, from what I... I mean, I guess I didn't hear them all, but, like, most- Yeah ... of the heat was, like, on Harris or somebody, right? I don't know. 

[02:11:23] Eldar: Well, you know, 

[02:11:24] Denis: but you- He was just always your, your co- confidant.

[02:11:27] Mike: Newcomers. 

[02:11:28] Eldar: Yeah. 

[02:11:29] Denis: Sorry, Mike. 

[02:11:30] Mike: Um, yeah. It's always Toliy. I may not have all the things figured out, but I think the most important things- 

[02:11:34] Denis: Mm-hmm ... 

[02:11:35] Mike: I try to always focus on figuring that out, you know? Okay. And all this stuff is just trivial, yeah. 

[02:11:41] Like money. 

[02:11:42] Denis: Yeah. 

[02:11:44] Mike: And fame. Yes. 

[02:11:46] Denis: And discipline. And discipline, 

[02:11:48] Mike: yeah.

[02:11:49] Denis: Oh, my God. Disgusting life discipline. 

[02:11:49] Mike: Yeah. So I think- 

[02:11:50] Denis: Yeah, 

[02:11:51] Mike: well said ... I think it's a good- Yeah ... it's a good thing. It's a good base. For sure. And I know the importance of that base and- 

[02:11:56] Denis: Good. Good ... 

[02:11:57] Mike: bringing somebody into the base will- Good ... only make everything so much better for- Yeah ... for all of us. Oh.

[02:12:04] That's kind of- Babe. 

[02:12:07] Eldar: Uh, don't touch the microphone. 

[02:12:09] Mike: Thank you. 

[02:12:10] Denis: Yeah.

[02:12:13] Sorry. 

[02:12:14] Eldar: Ooh. Um, yeah, Mike, thank you. 

[02:12:18] Mike: Yeah. 

[02:12:19] Eldar: That, that's good. And hope obviously we already said it, but yeah. That's good. Make sure that the amnesia does not kick on when you leave, obviously, the philosophy bubble. 

[02:12:29] Mike: Yes. 

[02:12:30] Eldar: But carry the philosophy bubble like the lantern it is.

[02:12:37] All right, Denis, what do you got for us? 

[02:12:41] Denis: I don't know. Yeah, no, I mean, I, you know. 

[02:12:43] Eldar: Finish, finish him off. Yeah. Do the 

[02:12:46] Denis: fatality. God's movies. Touchdown, 

[02:12:47] Eldar: pause. Pause. Do the 

[02:12:48] Denis: fatality. Finish him. 

[02:12:50] Eldar: Yeah. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. Yeah. Mish, you're a good guy, Mish. Yeah. 

[02:12:59] Mike: Gi- give us one of those, too. Yeah, I miss those.

[02:13:06] Let's just, let's just get some pizza, man. 

[02:13:08] Denis: Let's just... Yeah, no, no, no. Listen. 

[02:13:11] Mike: We'll chop it up. 

[02:13:12] Denis: Listen, you know, 

[02:13:12] Mike: you're- One-on-one ... you're all right, man. Yeah. You're all right. 

[02:13:16] Denis: I'm happy for you, dog. You got this, bro. That's nice. You got this. I'm rooting for you, you know what I mean? 

[02:13:23] Mike: Yeah. 

[02:13:23] Denis: If there's been one guy that's been waiting for it, you think it's these guys, it's actually been me, bro.

[02:13:28] You know what I mean? Yeah, all right. I've always been like, "Now why?" You know what I mean? So yeah, that's great. Good stuff. Good 

[02:13:35] Eldar: job, Slugger. Yeah. All right, 

[02:13:37] Denis: guys. Thank you. Get on in there. 

[02:13:38] Eldar: As always, this was great.